It's Real Life
by xXTailoredDreamsXx
Summary: Bella never thought she'd meet a man who could make her want everything she'd been running from most of her life. What will happen when a self professed friends w/ benefits pro meets a self proclaimed recovering manwhore while the cameras are rolling watching their every move? It's Real Life... will they be ready for the reality of it?
1. A Long Way From Home

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: So this is my new story. Something a little more fun and carefree from our last adventure, though there will be drama, as well as a bit of angst mixed in with it. After all what's a reality TV show without some drama and angst? Make sure you check out the blog for this story, maybe even before your start this first chapter. It will give you some background information about our cast and the house they will be sharing for the next three months of their lives. You can find a link on my profile below all the TMT stuff. *wink***

**For those waiting for the next/final TMT chapter, it will be here soon. I'm hoping to have it to my beta, CC, by the weekend. =)**

**Big thanks to my new beta for this story, ClaraBella75. She's been amazing to work with! Also lots of hugs to my proofreaders Lolypop82 and Cherieblossum. As always those girls rock my world.**

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**Chapter 1**

_**A Long Way From Home**_

**~Theme song for this story:~**

**Title: Belle Of The Boulevard**

**By: Dashboard Confessional**

**Down in a local bar**  
**Out on the Boulevard**  
**The sound of an old guitar**  
**Is saving you from sinking**  
**It's a long way down, It's a long way**

**Back like you never broke**  
**You tell a dirty joke**  
**He touches your leg**  
**And thinks He's getting close**  
**For now you let him**  
**Just this once**  
**Just for now**  
**And just like that**  
**It's over.**

**Don't turn away**  
**Dry your eyes, dry your eyes**  
**Don't be afraid**  
**But keep it all inside, all inside**  
**When you fall apart**  
**Dry your eyes, dry your eyes**  
**Life is always hard**  
**For the Belle of the Boulevard**

**In all your silver rings**  
**In all your silken things**  
**That song you softly sing**  
**Is keeping you from breaking**  
**It's a long way down, it's a long way**

**Back here you never lost**  
**You shake the shivers off**  
**You take a drink**  
**To get your courage up**  
**Can you believe it?**  
**Just this once**  
**Just for now**  
**And just like that**  
**It's over...**

**~~*Bella*~~**

It had been a long flight, and I was ready to pass out. Before I could do that though, I had to meet the housemates. The six strangers I would be spending the next three months of my life sharing everything with... on national television.

While on the plane, my only concerns were that I would get stuck sharing a room with the one person in the house that either Bible thumped like a hungry Jesus freak or drank like a fish then tried to fuck everything that moved.

Not that I wasn't a sexual person, I just didn't enjoy listening to others when I wasn't invited.

I slowly took in a deep breath after noticing there was a camera man already waiting for me at the end of the ramp. Before leaving my home state of Oregon I was informed that after landing in South Carolina I would be meeting another cast member down at the luggage claim. My nerves were already anticipating the worst.

No doubt he or she would be some form of a train wreck, because that's who they cast for shows like this. I mean, look at me.

Dark brown eyes, with my matching dark brown and auburn hair knotted into well manicured dreadlocks, some all the way down to my waist while others shot up in various directions at the top of my head; I'd decided to leave the various inked pieces scattered across my ivory skin hidden underneath a long sleeved sweater for first introductions with my new housemates. My hair would be enough of a shock factor for our first hello's. It always was.

I couldn't tell you how many times in my life I'd overheard the phrase, '_She's such a pretty girl, why would she go and do that to her hair?' _It was a typical reaction though, and something I had learned to get used to and ignore.

I was the type of girl people avoided on sidewalks and considered giving a dollar to because I _had_ to be homeless.

Truth be told, I'd never have to work a day in my life thanks to a trust fund my mom and dad left for me after their death three years ago.

I didn't mind the stares, or the glares, to me it was all part of the package. I was who I was, and people could either love me or hate me. One thing was for sure, I would never change for anything, or anyone... unless it was a change I was ready make.

Bottom line - I loved the person I had become, and that's all that mattered. The rest of the world could fuck off for all I cared.

I quickly slung my acoustic guitar case over my right shoulder and made my way to the escalator, ready to start my new adventure. My friends had thought I was insane when I told them I'd sent in an audition tape to, Real Life. I, on the other hand, had been giddy with excitement from the very moment I'd received a phone call from the casting director requesting a live interview.

_Remember, act natural. Ignore the cameras following at two different angles in front of you._

_They're not there._

_This is entirely normal._

Getting used to this shit was going to be challenging. I tried to compare it to being followed around by my friend Eric back in Oregon. The kid was always filming, looking for the next big viral video hit to put out on the web. So far, the best he'd done was catch old man Harry rolling down a hill into the creek down by the old Clearwater farm two summers ago after getting wasted on some homemade moonshine.

Three thousand-two hundred-twelve hits thus far. Eric was very proud.

I saw a muscle bound, dark haired guy leaning up against the wall and immediately knew he was the one I was looking for.

_Stereotypical Jock, every season needed one._

"You must be Bella."

"That's me."

"I'm Emmett! Welcome to Charleston, South Carolina!" He instantly picked me up into a monstrous bear hug and spun me around with total ease thanks to his ridiculously huge arms.

"Christ, you weigh, like, nothing," he added with a booming laugh before setting me back down on my feet. "That's some wild hair. Is that real?" he asked after giving me a few scans up and down. He was obviously trying to decide if I'd bite.

"Um, thanks. And yes, one hundred percent natural, _all_ of me," I answered with a smirk then shot him a wink before lifting my guitar case back up over my shoulder.

After our introductions, we gathered my bags from the carousel and put them onto a cart. Then we headed out to the street to catch our cab so that we could head to what would be our new home for the next three months.

The entire way there Emmett talked about his life back in Colorado as the big time college football star. He'd been a shoo-in for the pros until he tore his ACL for the third time last season. Now his aspirations were to coach or become a competitive body builder.

I had to hold back my snicker at this announcement. Picturing my new housemate all oiled up in a banana hammock was not something I wanted lingering in my mind.

I nodded politely pretending to give a shit, but my eyes were far more interested in looking out the window. Charleston, though similar in some ways, was much different from my podunk town of eleven hundred back in Oregon. The buildings were all so unique and full of character and charm.

I loved everything about it. This was my kind of town, a place I could easily lose myself to and maybe even possibly somehow find my true self in.

When we pulled up to our new home, a smile instantly spread across my face.

_Its perfect._

It was a beautiful structure, unlike anything I'd ever seen back home. Huge, Victorian, with two floors and a creeptastic attic, I was sure of it. The ledges under almost every window also held huge promise, perfect places to write new music, and the colors reminded me of something from a child's coloring book - none of them making much sense up against one another, but somehow fitting together perfectly.

_Kind of like me and my life_, I joked inwardly to myself.

Emmett helped me with my bags, and I followed him up to the house where a tiny, little dark haired girl came bouncing down the stairs towards us instantly.

"Hi! I'm Alice! O-M-G! We are going to be the best of friends! Do you like the band Phish? I mean you must, right?"

If I wasn't doing my best to make friends and start things off on the right foot, I would have rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm more of a Indie Rock kind of girl," I replied politely as she kissed both my cheeks and squeezed my shoulders affectionately.

"Well you're absolutely adorable!" she squealed while running her hand down one of my locks. I smiled in return and looked past her where a tall, light haired guy had appeared on the porch watching us carefully, obviously taking it all in.

"That's James. We're roomies. I think he's gay," she whispered with an all knowing wink, "Rose is already inside; we're just waiting on two more! Come in! Pick out your rooms, wait till you see the house! It's a-maz-ing!"

Emmett and I both gave each other a smile, obviously realizing that Alice would be the bubbly, social butterfly, home town girl of the group.

Okay - so we had me, the rocker bad girl cliché, Emmett the jock slash meathead, Alice the good girl bubble head, and James the typical token homosexual. I couldn't wait to meet Rose. She had to be the pretty, blonde Barbie girl type.

_Fuck me, how predictable can these shows get?_ I wondered, while smirking to myself, just as a gorgeous blonde came strutting into the living room of our new, very contemporary home. Her perfect curves only solidified that she was the type of girl I used to hate back home.

She was flawless, and I wanted to vomit, preferably all over her disgustingly expensive designer shoes.

After our introductions, they informed us what rooms were still open and where they could be located. I accidentally made eye contact with the camera lens, then flinched back towards my new housemates feeling guilty almost instantly.

_Natural Swan... Just. Act. Natural._

As soon as Emmett heard that Rose didn't have a roommate yet and that she was open to the idea of bunking with a cock, he jumped at the opportunity.

_Shocker._

That, unfortunately, left me with the triple bed room. Though it was the biggest in the house, it also meant I'd have to share space with two people instead of just one.

I lived alone back home; this sharing stuff was going to be a challenge no matter what. Especially since I walked around naked in the privacy of my own home on a regular basis.

_Suck it up Swan, it's only three months_.

I forced a smile and got to work with unpacking my things into one of the three small closets, then picked two out of the six drawers against the wall to place my personals in.

All while a man stood in the far corner with a camera pointed at me. It was eerily strange how much I was already getting used to having them around.

It was a fact that I got along much better with members of the opposite sex but I quickly realized that the likelihood both my roommates would be male was slim to none.

Just another part of the _Real Life _reality television formula. More estrogen meant more drama, more drama meant more viewers, more viewers meant better ratings.

_I swear I should have applied to produce this shit, not star in it._

"Oh my God, another cab! Someone's here!" I heard Alice yelp, followed by her tiny feet prancing back down the stairway after she'd run past my room to get down to the front door.

I smiled to myself and continued with my duty of nesting into my new space, noticing once again the camera man out of the corner of my eye but pretending he was nothing more than a potted plant.

I heard mumblings and giggles down the stairway and rolled my eyes for the tenth time since arriving in South Carolina.

"Well, Edward, this will be your room. Meet Bella, she's from Oregon. You two may have some musical tastes in common. She likes _Indian_ rock." I heard Alice falsely inform my new roommate from behind me.

The words_, 'Indian rock' _had me smiling now.

_Time to get this over with._

_Please don't be a total nerd._

The mic tape on my back was starting to irritate me, so I impulsively reached up under my sweater to itch the sensitive spot before turning around to extend the same hand for our introduction.

_Classy._

"Hello, Bella," a smooth voice greeted me before our eyes had even met.

_Shut up in your face._

_Did I just get goose bumps over someone's voice?_

_Pathetic, Swan. Really?_

Holy hell, he was absolutely gorgeous, and my jaw was instantly betraying me while it bobbed up and down trying to utter an appropriate hello.

"I'm Edward, it's nice to meet you. I like _Indian_ rock as well."

We already had our _first _inside joke.

_Okay, lame. Pull your shit together._

He extended his arm out to me and took a step closer, and I swear to God, I could smell the salty ocean on his clothes, and it had me tugging at the bottom of my sweater nervously while my toes curled from inside my boots.

He had messy, bronzed, sex hair and emerald green eyes with what had to be the most perfect jaw line I had ever laid my eyes on. He was obviously a surfer, because no one could have that perfect of a tan unless they lived on the Jersey shore and carried a frequent tanners card in their wallet.

"It's um, nice to meet you… yah _Indian_ rock... its _great_," I finally stuttered.

_Okay that was pathetic._

"I hope you don't snore," he teased, then gave my arm a playful jab. I giggled on cue, then kicked my self mentally for it.

_Jesus Christ stop acting like you've never seen a pretty boy before._

The camera man behind Edward changed positions, and I regained my composure after the reminder that this would be witnessed world wide.

_Just act natural._ _You don't need visual proof that he had you at 'hello'._

"I don't snore, but I tend talk in my sleep and sleep walk sometimes. Nothing some ear plugs, and a little rope can't take care of, though."

"A roommate I get to tie up... and possibly gag... I like this arrangement," he toyed instantly, and I felt my cheeks turn red in all-traitor fashion.

_Bella, zero. Edward, one._

"Har, Har," I mocked without thinking, then turned back around to continue with my unpacking.

"You play?" I heard him ask, instantly knowing that he was referring to my guitar case in the corner of the room.

"No, I just thought I'd lug it across the country to use as decoration." I was proud of my sarcasm and mentally patted myself on the back. _Good girl, much better._

Though he was beyond gorgeous, I also knew and realized he was probably used to women falling over his every word, and I wasn't about to fit that stereotype for him. Besides, guys like Edward didn't take notice in girls like me. Girls like me were assumed to not shower, shave, or practice regular hygiene habits, period. All of which were completely false beliefs. Truth be told, I was obsessed with smooth skin and shaved as well as showered daily, almost obsessively.

"Mind if I go at it?" he asked, catching me off guard.

I rarely let anyone touch my Jane.

Yes, I named my guitar. It was my baby, my pride and joy, the only thing that had stayed consistent in my life for the past three years.

"I guess, just be careful. I don't have any spare strings with me," I warned him then walked over to the case to take her out for him.

Her cherry wood looked nice in his tan hands with his long fingers strumming the strings almost erotically - or was that just me? Shit, he was doing very bad things to me already, and it hadn't even been five minutes yet.

I was shocked that he actually knew _how_ to play - and well. When he was done, I nodded my head approvingly then gestured for him to hand my baby back to me.

"Lets hear what you've got, Bella."

"Maybe later. I want to get settled first so my mind is clear of chaos and clutter."

He laughed at my statement and fell back onto what I was assuming he'd claimed as his bed. The one in the center of the room, with mine to the right of his closest to the window.

"Wow, I can't wait to hear all the deep thoughts we'll be getting from you. Let me guess you're a vegan too, or at least a vegetarian?"

I frowned wishing I wasn't so obvious, but some things came with the territory, unfortunately.

Instantly, a wicked grin crept across my face as my wit quickly took over, once again doing me proud.

"There's only one kind of meat I allow in my mouth Edward, and it doesn't come cooked or on a plate," I warned then turned around with a smirk, knowing I'd just shocked him royally.

He obviously wasn't expecting to hear such dirty things from this _hippie's_ mouth.

_Current score... tied. One point awarded to all players._

* * *

Around seven we were informed that our final roommate had gotten stuck at their layover airport because of some bad weather, so they wouldn't be arriving until tomorrow. This news excited me for some reason, but I was determined to deny it had anything to do with the fact that I'd be getting some one on one time with Edward tonight in our shared room at the top of the stairs.

I'd never gotten gah gah over a guy before, and I surely wasn't about to let myself get giggly over some surfer boy with pretty eyes… and a pretty smile… and nice… arms… oh, and those long fingers... and sweet Jesus the size of his shoes! He had to be packing some serious heat down where it mattered the most. Just saying.

Did I mention that his jaw was chiseled perfection… and that he had the cutest mole behind his right ear?

_Christ, I'm screwed._

I pulled one of my longer dreads out from the bunch and wrapped it around the rest of my locks to tie them back behind my neck. After slipping on a white, wife beater tank and some black yoga pants I headed downstairs to have my first meal with the people I would be spending the next ninety something days with.

Rose was tossing a salad by the sink, while Emmett stood over the stove stirring some pasta sauce in a large pot with an oversized wooden spoon.

"Just like my momma makes it," he hollered, shooting me a wink. I smiled politely and took a seat at the kitchen table across from Edward, who was too busy messing with his iPod to notice my arrival, so I equally ignored him by taking out my copy of Rolling Stone Magazine then leaned back in my chair pretending to get lost in it.

_And so it begins._

I detested awkward silences. Especially in a room full of people.

Alice's pixie head was suddenly skipping into the kitchen at full speed, Mighty Mouse music began playing in my head spontaneously, _'here she comes to save the day,_'.

"Bella! Wow aren't those pretty!" Edward and I both jumped in our seats, obviously not anticipating the high pitched squeal that had come through her lips.

He smiled after realizing I was sitting across from him and I was instantly shifting my weight nervously in my seat. As soon as my cheeks began to tingle, I redirected my stare back towards Alice, who was already practically sitting in my lap on the bench at our table examining my tattoos now.

"Would you be interested in going out to the beach with us tomorrow morning? Were going to have a picnic."

"Sure, sounds great, if by morning you mean after ten a.m." I replied, then stole a glance at Edward, who was still smirking at me for some reason. I quickly looked back down at my magazine then up towards Rose and Emmett cooking in the kitchen to ask if they needed any help. I was desperate for a distraction.

"I hope there's no meat in that sauce, Emmett. Our Bella here doesn't put _meat_ in _her_ mouth," Edward spoke up after me. I'd already been creeping up to check out the ingredients myself, not wanting to hurt Emmett's feelings. He looked crushed by Edward's announcement and I felt a slight twinge of guilt.

_1 point Bella, negative 1 Edward_.

"Sorry 'tis true," I quickly threw Edward a sarcastic smirk, then stood up on my toes to explore the pantry. Thankful to find a meatless store brand sauce, I got my own pan out and set it up on the burner beside Emmett's, then began my search for some ingredients on the spice rack in front of us.

"So what's your story, Bella," Emmett asked, giving me the once over.

"What would you like to know?"

I couldn't help but notice that everyone had turned their attention towards us and our conversation at the stove.

I wasn't really ready for _Intro to Bella 101_ just yet.

"I'm nothing special, just a girl with funny hair," I replied then bumped his hip, sending a laugh through his lips.

"I like the hair, it's sexy. You wear it well. It screams, 'I'm wild in bed.'" I smiled and sarcastically thanked him, stirring my sorry excuse for sauce beside his.

"Mmmm smells good, Bella." Edward's mouth suddenly whispered next to my ear after randomly appearing behind me. I felt the goose bumps slide down my arms and sucked back a breath when he placed his hand over mine to bring the spoon I was stirring up to his mouth. "You have a way with _spices. _I bet you could make anything taste good," he added with a smirk, licking his lips playfully before shooting me an extra wink.

I nearly chocked on my tongue.

_What. The. Fuck._

_1 point Bella, 5,000 points to Edward._

_Son of a…_

"Nicely played Eddie!" Emmett hollered, slapping him on the back while I rolled my eyes at their exchange.

I wouldn't go down that easily.

After our delicious meal, Emmett decided a game of 'Well, I Never' was necessary for a group ice breaker on our first night together.

"You know the rules. Just be honest, no fouls. If you've done it, just take a swig from your shot glass." He instructed after pouring us all our first shots of vodka.

"Alcohol and truth never mix well with me," I informed them bashfully. I glanced in Edward's direction for some reason, licking my lips. Everything I did or said seemed to result in me glancing in his direction to take in his reaction. _Embarrassing._

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't any sexual tension between the two of us. I couldn't let anything happen, though, not with a housemate, and definitely not this soon. No matter how _pretty_ he was, it would only complicate things... and I hated complications.

"Okay, I'll go first, Well I've Never… had sex with a teacher, or professor," Emmett announced.

_Mother fucker…_

Both Rose and I tilted our shot glasses back to our lips and smiled at one another.

"English Lit, last semester," I admitted just before Rose started with her _list_ of conquests.

"Damn, girl," Emmett reacted with a thunderous laugh before instructing Rose she had the next one.

She smiled and looked up towards the ceiling fan, obviously trying to find something juicy in her life that she'd never done. I was sure this was a difficult task for her.

"Well I've never… been intimate with a member of the same sex."

_Christ._

I smirked at James and took another sip while he followed close behind me with his own shot glass.

"I knew it! You're gay!" Alice chirped in excitement while pointing her finger at our housemate.

He nodded, then shot me a glance waiting for my story.

"I was drunk. We were bored. It only happened once," I insisted bashfully. I heard Edward stifle a laugh beside me and instantly elbowed him in the side.

_Jesus, he's solid._

"Okay, Bells, you're up." Emmett boomed after refilling our shot glasses.

I thought for a moment, wanting to think of one that would require everyone to take a drink so that I wouldn't be the only one getting wasted here tonight.

"Well I've never… driven a car." This always shocked people.

They all looked at me and laughed then took their shots while I smiled, feeling proud of myself.

"How the hell have you never driven a car?" Edward asked, smiling his panty dropping smile in my direction.

_Too. Much. Pretty._

_Focus Swan, answer the man's question,_ "I come from a small town but lived close enough to campus that I could always bike or catch a ride with a friend. I've never needed a car," I informed them smugly. They all continued to look at me in amazement then took their shot glasses back to their opened lips in unison.

Alice was giggling just before she shouted her own '_never'_.

"Well, I've _never_ had sex."

I gasped in shock. Surely she was joking.

"No, Alice, this has to be something you've _never_ done," Emmett explained while we all sat silently with dumbfounded expressions on our faces.

"Right, I'm a virgin."

"Shut the hell up." Everyone with a penis shouted at the same time.

"Yup, purity ring!" she replied, flashing the gold band on her left ring finger.

I sighed and took my gulp while my foot began to bob nervously in front of me. "Well good for you!" Alice smiled and nodded her head at me, seemingly proud of herself while I held back my laughter.

This girl was going to need some serious influencing.

"Ok, I have one, I've never had a threesome," James called out from the other side of the room. I rolled my eyes and took half a sip from my shot glass.

"Someone watched, that's the closest I've come," I informed them just as both Emmett and Rose kicked back their own shot glasses.

"Dude, its what I do, did I mention I was nominated for the Heisman?" Emmett announced proudly. He shot Rose a devilish wink causing her to snicker under her breath mockingly. I laughed at their exchange and felt my shoulders relax as my body began to loosen up over the amount of alcohol I had already ingested.

After another four rounds, Edward suggested we call it a night as soon as Emmett started singing show tunes with James from the countertop.

I was surprised when he stood up and offered me his hand to help me onto my own two feet. He threw me a wink and quietly asked if I'd need any assistance getting up the stairs. I snickered and pushed past him playfully to go sit outside on one of the porches with my freshly made Long Island Iced Tea, courtesy of James' exquisite bar tending skills. He was going to be a good gay buddy, I could already tell.

"Mind if I join you?" I heard Edward ask from behind me just before the screen door shut.

"Why would I mind?" I called back, smirking to myself with my back facing him.

He took a seat next to me on the wicker bench then let out a loud sigh before kicking his feet up onto the stool in front of him. I scanned the surroundings mechanically searching for where the camera might be placed out here even though we had been instructed to not do that. I was past tipsy and not wanting to follow many rules at the moment.

"So, _roomy_, you ready to answer Emmett's question from earlier?"

"That being?" My head was spinning trying to recall what he might be referring to.

"What's your story? Who. Is. Bella."

"Did you not learn enough with our little game?"

"I learned that you can hold your liquor pretty well," he answered slyly, bumping me with his shoulder.

I'd lost track of our point system during the game, but Edward had definitely moved ahead at last count and it was getting more and more difficult to ignore the butterfly feelings in my stomach. The alcohol certainly hadn't helped things either.

"What about the other things?" his voice had softened with his question and once again goose bumps took over my arms.

I was going to have to start wearing my hoodie in his presence. _Damn him to hell._

"Oh, that question. We have plenty of time to learn all of that. Lets save some, shall we?" I offered playfully. I was feeling too good to talk about my boring life back home. The whole reason why I'd signed up for this social experiment was to get away from _there_ and all things having to do with being_ there_.

"Fair enough. I'll look forward to hearing all about her then, when you're ready," he replied with a wink. I smiled back nervously and took another sip from my drink, just as he tapped my foot casually with his own.

"What about you, Edward. Let's hear your prologue."

He glanced at me and smiled before turning his attention back out towards the street. "Not much to tell. I'm from a little beach town in Southern California, but moved to Hawaii last year for better surf."

"Ah I see, so you _are_ a surfer."

"Had me pegged already huh?" he toyed then shifted his weight to face me on the bench. I could feel his eyes on me and it sent a shiver down my spine just as a cool breeze swirled around us causing the near by trees to shake in its presence.

"I'm pretty good at reading people," I admitted feeling proud of myself.

"Well actually, I'm more of a pro skateboarder, but my real love is the ocean."

I was taken aback by his revelation.

_A pro skater__? Fuck me, I really am fucked._

"Wow, pro… so like you do the big X-Game stuff?" I asked acting oblivious. I wasn't about to admit I'd grown up watching those events most of my life thanks to my guy buddies back home.

_Holly Shit, he's Edward Masen Cullen._

"_Yup, _I haven't competed though in over a year. Took some time off after a pretty bad spill. Landing in the ocean happens to be a little softer than landing on concrete, Bella." He replied softly then brushed my hair back behind my shoulder.

Of course my goose bumps were laughing at me now.

_What was he doing to me? Ignore the advances Swan, stay on topic. _I firmly instructed myself just as my foot began bouncing nervously over my knee.

"Why on earth would you sign up for this?" I asked, carefully watching for his reaction to my question because I wanted an honest answer.

"I'm just a regular guy too, I thought it would be fun, that I could meet some cool people," he answered before tapping my shaking foot again with his softly, "maybe even a pretty girl."

His add-on had me squirm in my seat instantly. I watched him stand up, looking into his eyes as he shot me one last devilish wink, "I really am look forward to getting to know you, Bella."

As soon as he was gone, my small smile turned into a nervous lip bite.

Good God, is he for real, or was this just him? We were going to have serious issues if he was some natural flirt because that would seriously start to mess with my head after awhile.

I took a deep breath in, smelling the nearby ocean's air then exhaled slowly after the salty scent made me think of him even more. I was going to enjoy my time here away from my own real, _Real Life_. A light hiccup left my lips and sent a giggle through my mouth before I downed the last of my drink so that I could head upstairs to spend my first night in my new home.

First though I needed to release some of this... sexual frustration.

* * *

**A/N: And there we have it. First chapter down, second chapter will be up very soon (It's already written and beta'd, I'm just trying to make up my mind on when to post it). I suppose I should give a bit of background as to how this plot came about. This started out as a O/S for the 100 Pictures Contest over at FanFicAholics Anon. In that contest I'd been assigned a picture of a house. You can find that picture on the blog for IRL. Anyways after staring at the picture for hours and going through 3 different plot outlines I fell in love with the reality tv idea and thought it would be super fun to do. Hope you liked snarky overly sexual Dreadella and our suggestive Skaterward. Next chapter things get pretty... er... involved... between those two.**

**Don't forget to check out the blog! Lolypop has already blessed IRL with a few manips.**

***Please Review because if you haven't heard yet... reviews make me smile... and I love to smile***

**Oh and you'll also get a nice teaser for the next chapter. *wink***


	2. A Rock Star Is Born

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: You're back for more! As a reward here's some tangy citrus. Don't act surprised... did you really expect our free loving Bella to last long. He's Edward Masen Cullen!**

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**Chapter 2**

**A Rock Star Is Born**

**~~*Bella*~~**

I was officially feeling both hot and bothered now thanks to my new roommates winks, smirks, and disguised advances, so I quickly decided I needed to take things into my own hands before he came upstairs to go to bed. It was obvious that if I didn't take action I would never get any real sleep tonight. Just the sound of his breathing alone in the bed next to mine would without a doubt drive me mad. I certainly didn't need him waking up to me... er... petting my kitty just a few feet away from him.

_Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. _

As soon as I spotted the stairs my knees began to shake and the pathway in front of me became slightly blurred. My peripheral vision began swaying to the beat of the music James had put on in the other room and that too was not helping the situation.

_Shit, I really shouldn't have finished that last drink._

I grabbed hold of the railing and slowly started the challenge that awaited me. Unfortunately my mission was interrupted by the sound of a very girly giggle to the left of the stairs. Through the opening of the doorway a few feet away from me on the ground floor, I saw Rose pinning Edward up against the wall while she traced her finger tip across his chest playfully. He was smiling down at her, obviously enjoying the attention which forced me to release an impulsive huff and glare in their direction. He suddenly directed his eyes up at me on the staircase and smirked a little wider at the realization that I was indeed annoyed with what I was witnessing in their exchange.

_Definitely just a flirt, and now I'm screwed because I want him in the worst kind of way and he's my goddamn roommate... not just a housemate... but my damn roommate. _

_F-M-L._

"Need some help Bella?" he called out obnoxiously. I rolled my eyes and mentally shot him the bird for making me feel jealous. This was totally unlike me, and I absolutely hated it. _Damn him further to hell._

"I'm fine, thanks," I replied through gritted teeth, knowing there'd be no way for him to hear my response but not caring in the slightest. I already knew my glare had given me away and there was no way to take that back so I would have to deal with my momentary lapse in, _I don't give a fuck, _and concentrate once again on making it up the stairs.

Once I'd somehow managed to get my self into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I stumbled around to find my way to the bed located somewhere, hopefully close by. I cursed myself for not having taken notice of where all the light switches were during the daylight hours and instantly made a mental note that tomorrow it would be first on my list of things to do.

After almost walking into the wall once, okay, maybe twice, I grabbed hold of the curtains to swing them open in order to allow just enough moonlight into the room so that I could pull one of my favorite extra large t-shirt out from the drawer in front of my bed to change. Normally, at home, I'd sleep in the nude, but that would be out of the question here so my second best option was the old worn out, barely there t-shirt I had grown up wearing since I was thirteen.

I kicked my pants off first, then pulled the tank top up over my head with one hand before unfastening my bra to toss it towards the corner of the room behind my bed. I'd just removed my mic and set it on the dresser and was reaching down to pick up the over sized shirt, when someone came stumbling through the heavily beaded curtain that divided our room from the hallway.

Thankfully, because I was still aware of the cameras, my arm was already covering my bare chest. I looked up to find Edward smiling in my direction.

"And so the _perks_ begin." His smooth voice toyed and I was already stuttering in my head.

_Pu-pu-pull your shit together, speak woman, _I silently ordered. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Having you as a roommate. Please tell me you like to sleep naked, too."

_What the... is he in my freaking head? How could he have so many lucky guesses about who I am and what I like to do? _

"Oh get over yourself," I mumbled turning my back so I could slip the cotton fabric over my head and around my body. I pulled my hair out from the collar of the shirt and let out a loud and frustrated sigh.

Regardless of the realization that Edward had some how already managed to shake my sturdy foundation of not wanting to get involved with a housemate, I was feeling good. Nice and tipsy, no, better than tipsy. Every part of my body was tingling, and I wanted to play my guitar now that I wouldn't be able to _release_ myself in private.

Best side step to a potential hang over, or when feeling sexually frustrated - play music until your fingers start to hurt.

I slipped on a pair of boxers and pushed the window beside my bed open and grabbed my guitar case, sliding it out onto the roof above the porch down below. I'd already scouted this location as soon as we'd pulled up this afternoon. The many ledges around the house would promise a nice getaway when the cameras became too much during the next few months.

"Um, I'm not so sure sitting out on the roof is a good idea in your... um... _condition_, Bella," Edward spoke up after flopping his body down onto his bed, belly first.

"I can take care of myself_ thanks_. I only had like two shots." I fibbed.

"Four actually, and a Long Island," he corrected me with a smirk highlighted by the moonlight that was shooting across our room now.

_Christ. _My fingers were suddenly twitching to reach out and run themselves through the mass of hair his own hand was already messing with.

"Nice to know I'll never have to worry about keeping track of my alcohol intake while were here," I quietly muttered, just loud enough for him to hear, then kicked my feet up and over the ledge to slide my body out beneath the stars.

The air was cool, and the street was quiet. If I closed my eyes, it would remind me of home.

But I didn't want to be reminded of home, I came here to get away from home.

Quickly, I became lost in the strumming sounds coming from my guitar, brought on by my own finger tips.

There was nothing in the world I loved to do more than to just get lost with _Jane_ in my lap.

_What is wrong with me? Why am I letting this pretty boy get to me?_

Without even realizing it, I began humming softly to one of my original songs. Remembering the person I had written it for, a tear began to slide down my cheek without my permission.

_Fucking traitor._

I wiped it away and took a deep breath, then continued my playing until my fingers begged for a break.

It must have been at least an hour because the moon had moved quite a bit from where it had been when I'd first stepped outside and my nose was certainly feeling numb thanks to the cool air.

Slowly and quietly I made my way back inside.

"Ouch! Watch it!" a voice suddenly yelped in the darkness scaring me half to death.

Edward was on _my_ bed under the window, and I'd just slid myself right on top of his lap.

"Well, what the hell are you doing in _my_ bed? Should I start calling you Goldilocks?" I asked with a snicker, then slid my guitar off to the side of my bed, while I remained positioned against him for just a little while longer.

"I wanted to hear you better. You're amazing on that thing, besides I think this worked out well. I kind of _like_ having you here in my lap."

"Well, I _like_ not being scared to death by people in dark," I muttered in return, just as his hands grabbed hold of my hips to lift me up and off of him. Quickly, I made my way back into the bathroom to wash my face before kicking him out of my bed.

_Do I want to kick him out of my bed? Jesus Christ, yes woman you do! _I quickly scolded myself then pinched my own arm as punishment for even questioning it.

I checked my reflection in the mirror and let out a quiet sigh. To say I looked an absolute mess after sitting outside with the wind blowing for an hour would be an understatement. After kicking my boxer shorts off I pulled on the elastic band of my nothing fancy underwear letting it slap the skin across my hips and grimaced at the loud snap.

Tomorrow's hangover would be wicked. That was a fact.

When I came out of the bathroom, the room was pitch black again. Edward had pulled the curtains shut, but before I could call out to him in frustration someone's hands grabbed at my waist and pushed me up against the bathroom door then covered my mouth to muffle my shocked squeal.

I gasped against the palm of his hand and tried to focus on my breathing so that my knees wouldn't buckle underneath me. "Shhhhhhhh," his smooth, silky voice instructed me. I nodded my head and briskly gulped back my nervousness. Edward being this close to me, with this amount of alcohol in my system, was not safe. He was not safe.

"You, Bella, are amazing. After this evening, and after listening to you practically make love on your guitar, I can officially say you've made it my mission to get to know you _personally_, better than anyone else in this house."

_Fuck me, this is our first night and I'm ready to hand my panties over to some total stranger I will be living with for the next ninety days_. _What if this goes badly? What if he's absolutly awful in bed? How will I be able to face him with a straight face in the morning? Christ are you kidding me? How could that even be possible. The man has already eye fucked the shit out of YOU multiple times this evening, Swan. He's going to be masterful under the sheets. Just accept it. _

It's a good thing I had no one in my life that I cared about embarrassing when this was aired on national television.

_Well, no one to embarrass but myself. You only live once. Seize the day. _

I quickly reminded myself that part of my reasoning in signing up for this adventure was to let lose without fear of consequences. To learn to be more comfortable with things that were out of my control and to just let life... happen.

He slowly removed his hand from over my mouth, and I could feel his sweet breath against my cheek as he brought his fingertips up my thigh, lifting my night shirt above my hips, where he grabbed hold to bring me up against what already felt like a massive piece of meat pressed against my trembling girly parts.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked wickedly. His teeth nibbled at my ear, and I couldn't help but release a moan from between my lips.

No guy had ever asked for permission before kissing me, and there was something extremely panty dropping about it.

"You better," I whispered back. My challenge created the sexiest sound I'd ever heard from a mans lips just before he brought his mouth up against mine. It was a soft kiss at first, but our hunger for each other quickly took over and I just as quickly found myself out of breath. We had no choice but to separate for a few seconds, the need for oxygen interrupting us. The smile on his face was enough to bring my lips back to his within seconds. I was already addicted and we'd barely just begun.

_Smooth move, Swan. _

My legs just about gave way as our mouths collided again, his tongue instantly connecting with mine, while our heads moved side to side in rhythmic fashion.

"Fuck, you're a good kisser," he moaned after breaking our passionate embrace for the second time.

I was seriously fearing for my own safety now. If he were to let go of me, there was no way I'd stay standing.

No way in hell.

"You're not so bad yourself," I replied with a grin, letting my fingers get lost in his gorgeous mass of hair. I gave a light tug and brought his lips back to mine, and he quickly hitched my legs up around his waist to push himself further against me around the wall.

"This is a blind spot for the cameras, Bella. I already staked all the _safe zones_ out earlier today," he carefully informed me between his pants in my ear.

"I don't give a _damn_ about the cameras," I answered back, and I swear I could feel him smile against my mouth with another low hungry moan escaping his perfect lips.

After a few more minutes of serious mouth fucking against the wall, he pulled away and smiled playfully at me, "Well then in that case." He swiftly turned me around to carry me over his shoulder back to the bed against the window and tossed me onto my back, then pulled the curtain open just enough to flood the room with some light from the moon. He wasted no time in pulling his white v-neck t-shirt over his head, revealing his equally flawless chest to me for the first time.

I grinned at the sight of a morbid-looking bleeding heart tattooed right in the center of his chest.

"Well isn't that pretty?"

He smiled at my reaction and ran the back of his hand down my cheek softly.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

I impulsively rolled my eyes at his ridiculous one liner.

"Really? That's all you got?" I toyed playfully.

"I don't really like to waste time with words, when I can show you… more physically… what the sight of you does to me, Bella."

Okay now my 'nothing special' cotton bikini briefs were soaked, and it was entirely his doing.

He swiftly lifted the over sized comforter up over our bodies to shield us from the spying eyes of the cameras in our room, and I giggled, loving his bashfulness.

Was I really going to give in so easily? Perhaps, this was the cure to the obvious tension, and once we got it out of our system, we could live as normal roommates? In that moment, though, even I didn't want to believe that.

I already wanted more and we'd still barely begun.

"I know you say you're okay with this now, but come tomorrow, when you're sober, you may regret letting me fuck you silly in plain view, for all the world to see," he informed me, kissing the space between my ear and my shoulder with his lips before biting it with his teeth.

"Well you see, Edward, I don't _fuck _people I've _just_ met, or people I live with, for that matter," I informed him, pushing him up so I could trade positions with him so that he was now on his back, while I hovered over his prettiness. "I'm not that kind of girl." _At least not yet I'm not. _"I will, however, let you see God in my own ways."

He smiled and grabbed onto one of my longer locks then gave it a playful tug to bring my lips down towards his. "I predict these things coming in handy."

"Another perk," I replied before starting my kisses along his own neck all the way to his navel. His moans were sending me further and further down towards his promise land, and my hand couldn't wait to have its fingers wrapped around what would be waiting for me. I had to feel his massiveness because I knew it would be impressive. My mouth was already watering over the thought of it.

As soon as my fingertips touched the head of his cock, my tongue licked across my lips in anticipation.

Just as I had suspected he was fucking HUGE, and I was already in Man Meat Heaven.

I moaned impulsively as my grasp worked up and down his shaft, then redirected my eyes after preparing myself for the view that would be waiting for me.

_I know I'm drunk but this has to be the most beautiful cock I've ever seen._

In the past, I had seen some scary looking dicks, but this was a masterpiece. It deserved to be put on display, or in the dictionary under the word 'Flawless.'

"Are you a giver, Bella?" he asked with sex dripping from his voice.

"I told you, I only allow one kind of meat into my mouth, Edward. Luckily for you, yours looks absolutely delicious," I informed him with a grin just before bringing his tip to my lips so that I could swirl my tongue across his tasty, mushroomed head prior to bringing all of him into my hungry mouth.

"_Jesus_," was all I heard leave his lips as my head began bobbing up and down on his perfection.

My mouth watered further with every pull of my hand while his hips convulsed underneath me over the movements of my tongue and wrist. My non active hand worked its way up to his chest to playfully tweak at his nipple, which resulted in a thunderous growl from his lips before he pinned it back down onto the mattress beside him.

"You're unbelievable. I need this to last a little longer... I can't even tell you... fucking amazing."

"So I've been told," I mumbled then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before getting back to work at getting him to scream my name.

_What can I say? Part of growing up with the boys, and always hanging with the boys, had also given me plenty of opportunities to learn how to please the boys. _

My mouth circled its self back around his firm perfection, while my hand continued to pump, and, within seconds, he was grabbing at my hair to force my eyes to look up into his own flaming stare.

"I'm going to cum, Bella," he warned with a huff, his eyes still blazing into mine while I continued with my rhythm, not once slowing down. He moaned and began tugging at the base of my locks, while my own movements brought him closer and closer to his perfect climax.

I took all of him into my mouth and swallowed back the salty goodness, while he mumbled my name over and over again between his lips. Feeling it run down my throat brought a moan through my own pleased mouth, creating a humming effect over his sensitive cock, while he continued to pour himself between my lips.

"Yum," I whispered, feeling satisfied with my work, after brushing my fingertip across the tip of his cock to catch the excess juices his body was still giving away. I brought it to my lips and licked it carefully, never once letting my eyes leave his.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked in amazement.

I smiled up at him in response. "I'm Bella Swan and I take pride in my work," I replied playfully. After that I came up to flop down beside him, all the while keeping the comforter safely over our naked bodies.

I suddenly felt very accomplished and relaxed. It was almost as if it had been the right thing to do. The sexual tension that had been giving me issues since my arrival had now disappeared, and I was back to seeing things clearly again, even if I was still tipsy beyond belief.

"My turn," he whispered suggestively against my ear, biting it again before raining kisses all the way down towards my left nipple. His hand began massaging my breast just as his tongue and teeth bit down on its pointed tip playfully.

"Your body is amazing, Bella. Let me guess, Yoga?"

"I dabble," I replied with a smirk, then tugged on his hair to bring his mouth back to my sensitive spot.

He wasn't allowed to stop now.

His fingers made their way to the space between my thighs and instantly, without hesitation, he began rubbing to spread them open in front of him. He wanted access, and I was more than ready to grant it. I wouldn't even make him ask twice because for some reason, as twisted as this was, it still felt incredibly right.

Edward wasn't like any of the guys I'd grown up with, he was sure in what he was doing and the sexiness of that alone was enough to make my limbs quiver under his touch.

"Christ, you're so wet," he informed me with a growl before tugging my underwear down past my knees. I assisted by using my feet to kick them off from around my ankles, which he in turn used to his advantage by positioning himself further down between my legs.

"You even smell delicious. I have to say, I was not expecting you to be so…"

He stopped looking for the right words, but I already knew what he was insinuating.

"So well groomed?" I asked with a giggle. "Just because I have a lot of hair on the top of my head does not mean I like having a lot of hair down below, or anywhere else for that matter."

"Sexiest damn landing strip I've ever seen," he replied just before running his tongue down to the tip of my clit slowly.

"MMmmm, that's nice," I moaned breathlessly. His hand was suddenly lacing its fingers between my own, and there was something about the gesture that sent me even further into bliss. His mouth began working its magic between my legs more sensually and I felt myself fall further into the abyss.

He was skilled, brilliantly skilled.

I didn't know how else to describe it. With every sweep of his tongue across my quivering lady parts, I fought harder and harder to keep my screams muffled by biting on the pointer finger of my one free hand.

"How is it possible for you to taste like cherry pie?" he asked suddenly, catching me completely off guard with his question when his lips left my sensitive skin. Every part of me was on fire now, and I was seriously having to hold myself back from telling him to go ahead and take me with his flawless cock.

"I suppose It's my vegetarian diet," I replied, somehow finding a bit of wit deep inside of me. He moaned at my words and got back to work before I could even remind him that he had left me at a very pivotal moment.

"Oh my God, your mouth," I groaned, tugging on his hair so he'd stay right where he was. "That's it, _fuck_, right there."

He moaned with purpose, and with one more swirl of his tongue, I lost myself as soon as he wrapped my legs over his firm shoulders.

I came harder than I'd ever come in my entire life. His hands lifted my bottom up off the bed so that he could take more of me into his mouth. I'd never been more grateful for an oversized comforter on a small bed because it was impossible to keep my body still now.

The man didn't know when to stop, and my orgasm seemed to last forever. Never in my life had I experienced anything like this. Nothing even came close to what this man was doing to me.

"Shit, Edward, dammit. I'm going to scream," I warned, while he kept with his diligent speed.

"So scream, _Rock Star_," he challenged, and at the sound of his new pet name for me, I yelped his name loud enough that I was sure the other roommates had to have heard my cries of ecstasy.

"Jesus, hell, Edward, how the hell," I panted after he'd settled me back into his lap under our shielding blanket.

"I guess I'm good at what I do, too, " he teased. I couldn't help but stare into his eyes as he wiped his own mouth with his forearm in pure satisfaction.

"Insanely good, that was incredible." I finally got out just above a whisper.

"You're welcome."

I rolled my eyes at his pleased state and pushed myself away from him, trying my best to not fall to the floor of our bedroom.

"I need to get some sleep now, thank you," I informed him in all seriousness. I wasn't one for pillow talk, and I was already starting to sober up now that I was coming down from my orgasm high.

I had absolutely been right - that release had managed to settle all my sexual frustration. Funny how that worked. It was good to get that out of our system, _right_?

"Nice, a girl after my own heart. Thanks for the late night snack, Rock Star."

I smiled in response and shot him a playful wink, wanting him to know this had been nothing more than a drunken fling for me, even if I wasn't exactly believing that myself at the moment, "It's too bad were going to have a roommate. I could get used to this," he teased suggestively. "Maybe we'll get lucky, and they'll be into threesomes. Oh, and be female, too - that would be a must."

"Why's that Edward, you don't like to _cross swords_?" I asked playfully, then shoved him up against the head board of my bed so I could sit up to don my shirt with my back facing the camera.

"He'd have to be really tiny so I could at least feel good about myself," Edward warned with a smirk while eyeing my exposed skin. He leaned down to kiss my lips firmly before rolling out of my bed to get into his own, taking the comforter with him.

I grabbed my own blanket, and took in a deep breath feeling good and tired.

I wouldn't admit that I, too, was feeling slightly bummed we wouldn't be able to repeat this night in the privacy of our room whenever one of us might be feeling frisky in the future. No way would I let him know he had managed to establish some validity in the sex department with me.

I wasn't looking for a relationship, and I'd be shocked if he weren't in the same mindset as me.

The next three months were supposed to be carefree, filled with numerous stringless flings and at least a dozen different cocks for me to try out in this town. I wasn't about to get obsessed over just one, even if it was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever laid my eyes, or mouth, on.

For once it felt good to be conquered.

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**A/N: So yeah... Bella really isn't good at turning down a late night snack... and neither is Edward. This is where the original O/S ended so from here on out the rest of the chapters will be fresh man meat... er... I mean meat. ;) Hope you're still enjoying it. Next chapter will be coming soon, I promise.**

**Big thanks to my lovely beta Clarabella75, and my pre-readers Lolypop82 and Cherieblossum. I *heart* them hard. **

**So who are we thinking the last housemate will be? Are we hoping for someone with a va-jay-jay or someone with a small sword for Edward to cross? **

***Please review because it makes me smile*...and because you know you like teasers.*... and because I just really want to know what you're thinking.***


	3. Mr Magic Mouth

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: I just wanted to give a big thanks to everyone who has shown this story some love, it really means a lot to me. Also a BIG thanks to the girls at Twilight FanFic Addicts and MsEm for talking about this new adventure on their first Virtual Discussion this week! That was awesome and you should totally check those girls out if you haven't already! IRL has a banner now thanks to Lolypop82! Woot! You can find it on the blog, along with a few new manips she's also blessed us with. If you're waiting for the last TMT chapter, it is now with the beta, and I'm hoping to post it by Friday *tear*. Now lets get on with the show...**

* * *

**Mr. Magic Mouth**

**Chapter 3**

**~~*Bella*~~**

The next morning, I woke up with a groan, my head already pounding before I'd even opened my eyes.

_Holy hell this hangover will be just super at the beach._

I was instantly regretting telling Alice I would join my housemates for their outdoor picnic, and I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

After peeking through one slightly opened eye, I noticed Edward's bed was already made and he was no where in sight.

_Well at least that's a plus._

I wasn't exactly ready to confront that issue yet. The morning after a drunken hook up was always fun, especially when it was with someone you hardly knew.

I could only imagine how much fun it would be to experience it with a housemate I'd have no choice but to see today... and tomorrow, and the day after that. No matter how awkward the confrontation would be, I knew there was no getting out of it. It was time to put my big girl panties on and face the reality I had created.

_Way to start out backwards, Swan._

_What were you thinking? Stupid, stupid girl… but it sure had been fun hadn't it? Shut up, shut up, shut up!_

Shit, I was in trouble. The reminder of his kisses running down my body had my toes curling from under the comforter, and I was already grinning when I remembered the pet name he had bestowed upon me before leaving my bed last night.

My finger traced my belly wanting to remember what his own fingertips had felt like when they'd explored every inch of my bare skin, but I was quickly interrupted by Alice singing an obnoxious "Good Morning To You" song. I'd give it to the girl though, she had some pipes on her.

"How did you sleep?" she asked sweetly, bouncing at the edge of my bed beside me.

"Eh…. Okay."

"Yah, I heard you scream, you weren't kidding about talking in your sleep huh? Was it a nightmare?"

I almost choked on my saliva and had to sit myself up against my head board to regain my composure.

"Um, yah. It was _awful_," I lied hoping my cheeks weren't exposing the truth.

"Wow, that's terrible, I almost came in to check on you, but it sounded like you calmed down right away."

_Really? Thank God for that_, I thought to myself, _because that had seemed like the longest and loudest orgasm of my life._

I couldn't help but smile again while I relived the feelings of ecstasy in my head.

"Well get up, were leaving in thirty minutes. Edward cooked breakfast and kept some warm for you," she informed me before bouncing up off my mattress to prance back through the beaded curtain. I listened as she skipped down the stairs, where I'm sure the rest of my roommates were already up and ready to start the day.

This was nothing new for me, getting up with a splitting headache, wishing only to hide under my covers for the rest of the day. I eyed the camera man from my peripheral vision and let out a huff before forcing myself to swing my legs down over the side of the bed.

I'd certainly been the winner of our game last night, which meant my prize was to be the most hung over member of the house during our first adventure out together today. Part of me considered staying back, but I didn't want to miss out on any bonding moments, even if the thought of seeing my fling in a few minutes was enough to send me to the toilet to vomit for the first time this morning. Not because the thought of him disgusted me, nothing could be further from the truth. No, I was simply nervous beyond belief over the realization that he had been the first thing I'd thought about when I'd opened my eyes this morning, and I still hardly knew anything about him, aside from the fact that he gave incredible head and he was a pro skateboarder who loved to surf. This, I already knew, was a very deadly combo.

Mr. Magic Mouth had somehow pierced through my armor to not let any of my housemates get to know all of me… well most of me. He hadn't exactly experienced _all_ of me… _yet_.

_Shut the fuck up Swan! He's bad news, and you know it_.

This was a first for me though, I had to acknowledge that. No guy had ever made that kind of progress with me before in such a short amount of time, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that tiny factoid. Sure I enjoyed my fair share casual sex, but it had always been with _friends_, people I trusted beyond belief. That was always a major rule of mine back home. I realize how backwards that sounds but believe me, it's never come back to bite me in the ass. Well almost never. When I'd signed up for this show though I had promised myself I would be a little more open to random off the street hook ups, but I'd also promised myself I wouldn't get involved with any of my housemates. There would be enough drama in the house without me adding my sex-capades to the mix.

After brushing my teeth and slipping into a bathing suit, some board shorts, and a purple tank top, I grabbed my sunglasses, slipped them on over the bridge of my nose and headed downstairs. I could hear everyone talking before I'd even made it into the kitchen.

_Here we go Swan. Morning After Scene, take one._

"Dude, she was slammed last night. I've never seen a girl drink that much booze and still be able to walk on her own two feet afterwards," Emmett was sharing just as I'd walked in, clearing my throat casually.

"Yo! Beller! You're alive! We were starting to worry." His boom instantly rattled my brain forcing me to wince slightly before nodding my head.

_Note to self; Emmett is not good company after a night of serious drinking._

"It's not even ten yet. Do you people not sleep in back where you come from?" I asked grumpily. Emmett laughed at my question, then tossed me a banana from across the room. I was purposely avoiding Edward's eyes now, even though I had shielded my own with my black Ray Bans. I wasn't ready to see that kind of pretty yet. It was definitely too early to have my lady parts twitching.

"So Bella how did you sleep?" James asked slyly, throwing me a suspicious smirk. And that was all it took for me to shoot Edward my own glare.

He, of course, was already grinning at me, and I, of course, was ready to smack him upside the head.

"Fine. I slept absolutely fine. It's really nice having such thick… oversized… _comforters_," I retorted before turning my back on my late night booty call.

_Can it be considered a booty call if there was no call actually placed? I mean all I got was booty without any emotional attachment. Right? That's the definition of booty call? Right?_

"I kept your breakfast warm for you, Bella, you should eat something. It will help with the hangover," Edward informed me a few seconds later after I'd taken a seat beside Rose. She was too busy flipping through a fashion magazine to look up and say good morning. I couldn't help but notice the amount of force she was using to turn the glossy pages and immediately felt bad for the piece of reading material.

"Morning, Rose," I snickered, wondering what had crawled up her ass.

She looked up briefly and shot me a forced smile, then returned her stare down at her magazine just as Edward slid a plate of pan-a-cakes in front of me.

Don't correct me. That's how I say it.

That's how everyone in my family said it.

Pan-a-cakes.

You can blame my off the wall mother for that one.

"I made sausage too… but I know how you feel about those long, slender pieces of meat being in your mouth."

I choked on my milk and quickly forced it back, before glaring back up at him through my sunglasses.

_Okay we can not continue like this, or we will end up back in bed together every night we're here in order to release this goddamn sexual tension._

"Yeah, thanks. I'm still _full_ from last nights _meal_ anyways," I replied bluntly before I could stop myself.

Rose let out a snarling huff almost instantly and pushed her chair from the table to go into the living room area without much explanation for her sudden departure.

A smile slowly spread across my face as I realized what was most likely bothering her.

_So, apparently, half the house knows what happened between my roommate and I last night. Super._

That was exactly what I didn't want or need to happen. At least the blonde Barbie would know she had some competition when it came to capturing Edwards attention.

_Are you kidding me? Shut that shit up! Competition? This is the type of drama induced thinking we don't need Swan!_

"You have ten minutes, Bella, and then were heading out," Alice announced in a sing-a-long tone, and I groaned at her bubbly demeanor.

_It's seriously too effin early for this._

I nodded my head and attempted to get a few bites of food into my stomach before getting up to toss the rest into the garbage can, hoping no one would notice the very little amount of nutrition I had actually put into my belly. I didn't need people on my case about that shit already.

I decided to jump on the house computer to check my email really quick before running out to the driveway to get into the van with everyone. I needed to check in, even though I had left without formally saying goodbye to most of my friends. A part of me was wondering if they had reached out to me yet after my grand tantrum induced farewell at my going away party.

Lord only knew how much I was _not _missing back home though.

I had one new message, and I already knew who it would be from.

* * *

_**To:** BellaSass20_

_**From:** BlackAttack79_

**_10:45 A.M._**

_**Subject:** Life without a Bella_

_We miss you._

_I'm sorry you left the way you did, with things the way they are._

_Just take care of yourself. That's all. I'm here when you're ready to talk._

* * *

I let out a frustrated groan and firmly clicked on the mouse to log out of my account without replying to my one time life long best friend.

I wasn't ready to address what had happened right before I'd left home. That memory was far too unbearable to relive at the moment and I had certainly left it behind for a reason. Ergo I was in no rush to confront that reason anytime soon.

"Ready, Bella?" James asked after sticking his head into the living room.

"Yeah, coming." I pushed myself from the desk and quickly followed my roommate out to the oversized black van that was parked in our driveway down by the sidewalk. Everyone had already taken their seats and the only ones left open were in the back with my night time orgasm buddy, Mr. Magic Mouth himself.

He shot me a wink, and I rolled my eyes as I slid into the seat beside him setting my guitar case beside me between our bodies, while my eyes quickly darted towards the window.

Jesus Christ. Now more than ever did I wish I wore a padded bathing suit top, because my nipples were currently saluting at full mast and the tightness of my tank top was not keeping them camouflaged very well. Not. At. All.

"Cold, Bella?" Edward asked wickedly, and my foot was instantly raised in the air to stomp on his own lower extremity in retaliation.

Why did I have to feel so damn nervous around him? Last night was supposed to make all this stop, and it had stopped, it had allowed me to get the best nights sleep I'd had in a very long time actually. Or perhaps that was an alcohol-slash-orgasm induced coma I'd experienced? Whatever the case, I'd slept like a damn baby. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I knew he deserved some of the credit.

"So, Bella, will you be getting wet today?" Edward asked wickedly. Before I could raise my foot again he swiftly brought his own to the other side of our seat, safely out of my reach.

I decided to ignore his obvious tone and answered the question as calmly as possible after flipping my hair back behind me, "Depends on how freezing it is, though I am used to cold water. It's just a little too cool out today, and I don't have my wet suit, I don't want to get sick," I replied honestly. It was only the beginning of August, but there was a definite breeze in the air today, hence the pointy nipples… yes I was blaming the chilled air on my traitor nips, not the fact that there was a beautiful mouth… gah… man sitting beside me. Plus, if I got my hair wet it would literally take all day for it to dry, and that was never enjoyable.

"I'd imagine you'd suck up half the ocean with _those_ things," Rose cooed sarcastically. I rolled my eyes again from behind my shades and agreed that they did take in their fair share of water, which made Alice giggle then ask me how long I'd had my hair knotted up like this.

"Um, a few years now."

"Wow, years? That's some dedication," James replied in amazement after turning around for a better examination of my locks.

I shrugged and shifted in my own seat nervously. By the looks of me, you would think I enjoyed being the center of attention, but truth be told it stressed the hell out of me after awhile.

"So, Alice, what's Missouri like?" Edward suddenly spoke up, taking the unwanted attention away from me. I couldn't help but wonder if he had sensed my unease.

_Oh shut the hell up you silly girl, the boy wouldn't have a clue. Stop giving him credit for unnecessary things._

I let myself get lost looking out the window at the town's Main Street as we drove down the strip towards the beaches. Everything was so blissful... so romantic looking… it almost made me sick to my stomach. It reminded me of that movie, The Truman Show - nothing out of place, every house lined with white picket fences and a tire swing. This was the kind of place I never thought could exist in real life, but here it was.

Sure, I came from a small town back home, but it wasn't nearly as well kept as this place. This place was disgustingly manicured but at the same time it intrigued me and I wanted to learn more about it.

Driving down the row of shops and restaurants, I picked out a few fun looking bars and made a mental note of their location and distance from the house.

_Definitely walk-able._

When we drove up to the parking spots located by the pier on the beach, I found myself smiling at the sight of the ocean. It made me think of home, but at the same time it was completely different looking from the beaches I had left back in Oregon.

"Pretty huh?" Edward whispered beside my ear bringing goose bumps to my exposed arm.

I was instantly cursing myself for my inability to sufficiently regulate my body temperature in his presence.

"Yup," I replied, praying that he hadn't noticed my reaction to his breath on my cheek.

As soon as James swung the van door open, I bolted, needing some space between me and my bedtime buddy.

"So, Bella, do you go to the beach a lot back home?" Alice asked linking her arm through mine, while my other hand carried Jane in her case by my side. "This is the first time I've ever been to the beach. It's amazing," she added, and I couldn't help but smile down at her. Her grin was definitely contagious.

"I used to go when the weather was nice, with my friends, it was about a forty five minute drive for us so it had to be worth the trip," I explained. "I like to write music on my guitar at the beach, its soothing for me, makes all the excessive chatter disappear for a little while," I admitted with a slight smirk.

"That's awesome, I wish I had a talent like that. All I can do is fan girl over bands I like, but I promise I can do that really well, you'll see! Oh, and I like to knit. But only scarves. I tried to do a sweater once… it would have been perfect for someone with an extra wide neck and one arm," she giggled.

I smiled at her response and nodded my head bashfully.

I'd had a few fans back home, but a part of me always wondered what they were bigger fans of, my music or my random hooking up with good buddies and apparent obsession with romancing the idea of friends with benefits as being something entirely normal since the tender age of thirteen.

I was an early bloomer.

I never saw any harm in the type of relationships I'd developed within my circle of friends back home.

At least not until one of those friends cornered me at my going away party to tell me he'd actually been in love with me since the fourth grade.

Fucking prick.

"Bella, help me lay the blanket down," Alice requested, breaking me from my memory. I set my case against a log laying horizontally across the beach sand, then kicked my flip flops off to use as weights to hold the corners down, pressing them into the ground snugly from my knees.

Edward was instantly by my side, taking my other shoe from me to push it deep into the grains. He brushed his hands on his board shorts before shooting me a smile and I instantly felt the unfamiliar shiver go down my spin.

"Um, th-thanks," I stuttered, turning to take a seat beside Alice on the blanket, hoping I could get her to start some kind of girl talk with me so I wouldn't be forced to share a conversation with Mr. Magic Mouth himself.

Rose was already kicking her tiny, cut off shorts from her ankles and applying sun tan oil to her perfectly flawless body, while Emmett begged her to let him help. I laughed watching their exchange and then noticed a spot under the pier that was already looking like a very promising location to get some good playing time in with Jane later, after I'd been social for a while. I noticed the guy with a camera standing off to the right of where James was setting up his own little spot and readjusted my sunglasses on my face. When he dropped his shorts revealing a tiny, bright yellow, polka dot Speedo, I almost choked on the air in my lungs. I let out a light chuckle just as Alice gasped beside me.

"That's some itty-bitty yellow polka dot bikini, James!" I hollered. He shot me a thumbs up, then sat down into his lounge chair while the camera guy got a close up of his ass getting into position.

_Good grief, seeing this shit on tv is going to be mortifying._

Alice and I talked about her life back in Missouri for a little while, getting into the topic of what it was like for her growing up with a Minster as a father.

"I'll be the first to admit I had a very strict upbringing, but that's one of the reasons why I signed up for this. I thought it would be a good way to learn some life lessons without being sheltered under my parents' roof," she told me with a crooked smile.

"This will for sure be a learning experience. I promise." The sun was starting to beat down on my back, so I opted to remove my tank before I ended up with a less than attractive farmer's tan.

Emmett tossed me the bottle of sunscreen, after shooting a whistle in my direction, bringing everyone's attention to my black bikini top.

I could feel my face turning bright red just as Emmett added that I had a _seriously kicking body_.

"I dunno, I think James has us all beat," I replied, desperate to take the attention off of me while I began rubbing the white creamy substance over my shoulders. For some reason, I let my eyes glance towards my midnight lover's direction and caught him already smirking that devilish grin at my hands as they rubbed circles over the swells of my back and hips in the feeblest attempt to hit every space without pulling my arm out of its socket. I was determined to complete this mission without his assistance.

"Need some help, Bella?" he asked smoothly as if reading my mind.

The looks Edward continued to insist on flashing me were not helping with my headache. All they were doing was making my brain work in overdrive, wondering what his deal was and why he insisted on giving me these looks, like we had unfinished business. I didn't like games. I was down with drunken hook ups, if that's what we needed, but this on and off flirting stuff in public wasn't going to fly with me.

"No, Alice can handle it I think. Alice?" I requested then handed her the tube of goo.

"Sure, no problem." She took it from me and got to work, but before I knew it we had both Emmett and Edward making obnoxious suggestive comments about seeing some girl on girl roommate action so soon. Alice giggled innocently and continued with her work, asking if I could return the favor, which I obliged to immediately.

She was a gorgeous girl. She'd make any guy drool if she'd just let loose a little and start showing a little more skin. Her innocence was cute, though, and I would learn to appreciate it. It was part of her attraction, and definitely a rare quality to find. Hopefully we'd be able to break her out of her good girl shell just a little bit before we wrapped at the end of October. I'd love to see her lose herself to a few impulsive decisions, even if it was for only one night.

_Why is life worth living if you aren't making mistakes?_ Another motto of mine thanks to my buddy Paul back home.

* * *

An hour had passed, and I'd since made my way over to the spot under the pier that I had been eyeing since our arrival. I looked over towards my roommates about a hundred feet away and smiled watching Emmett chase Alice around with a clump of seaweed in his hand down by the waves that were crashing onto the ocean's shore. Edward was sitting off on his own, with his knees up to his chest, staring out at the water, looking lost in thought. I quickly realized I was holding my breath and inhaled deeply, slowly letting it out, while my fingers began strumming my guitars strings again.

_Jesus, really?_

_Why is this so incredibly difficult? He's just another cock, get over it you stupid, stupid girl._

Before I even realized it, he had turned his head, and we were now locked in a stare that made me want to crawl under the sand with the hermit crabs. He nodded his head in my direction, acknowledging my embarrassing trance. I returned the gesture then turned my head as casually as I could to return to the song I had started to play before he'd decided to give me a nice eye-fucking.

I closed my own eyes and pushed my bare feet further into the sand letting myself go to the music, while the waves crashing a few feet away from me served as my back up rhythm.

A few minutes later, I could feel someone standing behind me even though my eyes were still closed. I already knew who it would be.

Just because he couldn't leave well enough alone, I'm sure.

"Can I help you Edward?" I asked without opening my eyes, or stopping my fingers from moving over my guitar's strings.

"Thought you might like some company, Rock Star," he quietly replied, after taking a seat beside me. I opened one eye just in time to see a camera man moving around us to take his place behind a pillar under the dock. He was obviously trying his best to make himself invisible but that silly cowboy hat he was wearing was not assisting him with his mission.

"I don't know why you thought that. I enjoy my alone time with my music very much. Did I not make that clear last night?" I asked him with a heavy breath, then opened my eyes all of the way to tilt my head in his direction.

His smirk had my body quivering in the sand beneath me before he even opened his mouth with his witty comeback.

"Oh you made a lot of things very clear last night… you also made them very,"

"We're not discussing last night, Edward," I snapped, quickly interrupting him. "Last night was two drunk, horny people looking for some sexual release. You were in the right place at the right time. Nothing more, nothing less," I affirmed, then for some reason gave him a playful shove.

_What the hell, Swan? That kind of action could be taken as flirting. Cut that shit out. Now._

I couldn't help it, though. He seemed to know my weaknesses, and apparently the sight of his delicious lips were my number one enemy when it came to my defenses against his obvious advances.

The memory of what it had been like to feel those lips on my delicate parts was enough to make me want to straddle his lap right there in the damn sand. The man was dangerous, and it was obvious to me that he was well aware of that. He also more than likely saw me as nothing more than a sex toy, thanks to my own impulsive blow-job-giving mouth.

"Were you in a band back home?" he asked, finally making conversation without sexual innuendos being a major theme in his delivery.

"No, I played alone mostly. I'd sit in sometimes with my friends band on two of their songs, but that was only for fun. I mean all of it is for fun, I don't expect to become a big, real, rock star. My own music just means a little bit more to me."

"That's okay, I think I prefer you being my own personal _Rock Star_ anyways."

_And there it was again. Well shit, that sure didn't last long._

"Really? Can't we please just talk like two normal people who hardly know each other, for like… five minutes?" I requested with a huff before setting my guitar down and falling back onto my beach towel.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'll try to behave. You just seem to bring it out of me."

"Erm… is that supposed to be a good thing, Cullen?" I asked surprising myself just as the camera man circled us again a few feet away.

"It could be, if you'd stop trying so hard to keep a wall up. What's up with that anyways? I heard you talking to James last night while he made you your drink. You're all about free love and friends with benefits. Why am I getting these feelings from you, like you're pissed at me or something? All I did was make you scream my name last night, thats hardly a crime. I thought you could handle some no strings attached fun?" he asked, smirking down at me after lying back with his head resting on his hands in the sand.

"Were really going to talk about this?" I asked already feeling further annoyed. Why did he have to have such a good read on me? Why did I have to be such an open book on my first night with my housemates?

_Oh right, the alcohol. Utter. Fail. Horny, drunk Bella._

"I just want to know where we stand," he cleared up, still grinning as his hand brushed some hair out of my face that a gust of wind had cast across my cheek.

I could already picture this scene being aired on national television and could only imagine the taunting I would get from Paul and Mike over someone finally calling me out on my shady morals and disingenuous sexcapades.

"Last night shouldn't have happened because… it just shouldn't have. We're living together, it's different. It complicates things."

"How?"

"It just does!" I replied quickly, sitting up. "It's asking for unnecessary drama. I guarantee there will be enough of that already."

"Not if we separate the sex from any actual feelings. I figured you were the kind of girl who was capable of that," he replied smugly.

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I wasn't used to being backed into a corner. Usually I was the one doing the backing in. Edward Masen Cullen had one upped me and was challenging me to see just how far I could take things without getting emotionally involved.

_Wait... was he actually challenging me?_

"If I'm too much… man for you… I guess I understand. I just think we owe it to ourselves to continue what we started. Why stop a good thing?" he added with an even wider smirk that I instantly wanted to smack off his beautiful, _fuck me now please_, face.

"Why do you have to be so freaking smug?" I asked with a huff, crossing my arms in front of me.

"Because I know you still want more of me, just as badly as I want more of you. Last night was just a warm up. I feel like we have so much more to learn about each other. I think you feel that too, and that's what makes you nervous to be around me. Now that we've tapped into the fact we're fuck-hot in bed together, you can't shut me out. You have to let me get to know more about _you, Bella_."

"Exactly, we need to get to know each other, there needs to be more than just sex for me. I may enjoy random hook ups, but as twisted as this is going to sound, they've always been with people I trusted before the hooking up took place. You were my first, er…"

"Your first nothing-but-fuck-buddy?"

"We did not _fuck_, Edward," I growled cautiously, with the camera man creeping a bit closer from the left of us.

"You know what I mean," he softly hushed me, then traced my thigh with his finger suggestively in tiny swirls. "I do want to know more about you, but I think that's what the problem is here. You're worried you might actually start to reciprocate some feelings, more than the fuzzy friendship kind, and that Bella makes you nervous."

"You sure think highly of yourself don't you," I grumbled back, picking Jane up to start playing on her strings again, hoping it would be the interruption I was looking for. "I've cared about people before Edward, but I can promise you I will never feel anything more than fuzzy friendship kind of feelings, thats just who I am. It's who I've always been. All I'm saying is we need to be friends first. It needs to be more than sex for me if were going to be sharing a house together. Were going to be seeing each other morning, noon and night for Christ's sakes!"

"So friends first... fuck buddies later?" he asked, and I nodded my head in agreement without even thinking his statement over.

_Where's Mighty Mouse Alice when you need her?_

"I completely agree then. I can totally deal with this arrangement," he insisted, "but I feel like you're already not giving me a fair chance."

I looked up at him feeling shocked by his words and took a deep quiet breath in realizing he was right. I was already shutting him out and it wasn't fair.

"Then its agreed. We're focusing on the friendship building first, and I promise I'll give you a fair chance," I quickly replied, testing him, and making sure I had understood him correctly.

"I'm game if you are. There's more to me, too, Bella, than just my mouth and my cock. It won't take you long to see that," he added with a wink, and I felt my cheeks give me away instantly as they flushed over his grin.

Mr. Magic Mouth was still flirting with me, but at the same time he had said all the right things to make me feel like I could trust him, and possibly consider letting him in. Was he right, though? Was I really deep down afraid that maybe feelings other than friendship might develop if I let him get to know all of me?

_Nonsense, I know better than to let that happen._

"Game on Cullen," I agreed then extended my hand out for him to shake.

"Good deal, _friend_," he replied, shooting me another wink, and my teeth were instantly biting at my bottom lip.

This was still going to be a very long three months. That was almost painfully obvious.

I'd keep my big girl anti-Cullen chastity panties on though… for at least a few weeks. We had to become friends first, before we could be friends with benefits. Those were the rules... no matter how delicious he was.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah... Bella is on a mission to keep her legs closed for a little while... at least when it comes to Mr. Magic Mouth and any other housemate. Will she last long, or will she find herself another _outlet_ to let loose on? She's a bit flippy-floppy isn't she? Bella's personality flaw... maybe? *wink***

**We will meet the final housemate in the next chapter... as well as some of the crew. I should warn you... I know on most reality shows its forbidden for the cast and crew to mingle and be friendly with one another... well this is my fic... and my reality tv show so I'll be making my own rules. Anyone want to take a guess as to who the cowboy hat wearing camera guy was. *wink***

**Big hugs to my beta Clarabella, she's a-mazing!**

**What were some of your favorite seasons of The Real World? Mine has to be Miami, mostly because thats where I'm from. I really enjoyed last season in Nola though too. ;)**

***Help make me smile. Please review!***


	4. Me & My AntiCullen Chastity Panties

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns the creation of Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Real quick, RobPattinsonLover13 please set your account so you can receive PM's. That's all... now lets get the show started.**

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* * *

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**Me & My Anti-Cullen Chastity Panties **

**Chapter 4**

**~~Bella~~**

***Confessional #1***

I walked into the posh retro style room and smirked at the sight of set lights and cameras placed around the sofa bench in a half moon formation. After pulling my hair back and tying it in a all natural bow, I flopped down into the seat and let out a huff.

"How does this work?" I asked cautiously, looking into the camera with the blinking red light in front of me.

"Just tell us a little bit about yourself, what your first thoughts have been about your housemates so far. Say whatever you want. Whatever's on your mind," a voice answered back from a speaker box in front of me.

_Okay this is weird… this is like some kind of Charlie's Angels type of shit._

"Alright, I, um… Hi. I'm Bella. I guess I'm supposed to spill my guts in here right? Talk about how annoying all my roommates are?" I asked nervously, then shifted my weight underneath me before tugging on my hair again. The Confessional Room was located at the top of the stairs, in the attic of our house. As soon as we'd returned home from the beach, we were notified that we would all be required to give five minutes upstairs, alone, and I was second to last on the list. I glanced behind me at the backdrop, and smiled as soon as the cheesy porn music flared up in my head over the sight of a burgundy sheet with broken mirror pieces glued to the fabric. I smirked, taking it all in, then took a deep breath and sat back against the sofa, crossing my arms in front of me.

_Well give the producers what they want, that's why you're here, _I instructed myself before starting to nervously pick at my finger nails_._

"So, I guess it's no secret I have a slight attraction to one of my housemates. Apparently, you'd have to be completely naïve, blind and or deaf to not have figured that out by now. What can I say, I have a thing for skater boys. And don't you dare start playing that Avril Lavigne crap in the background once this goes to the editing room. I hate that bubble gum pop stuff," I ordered bluntly, then sat forward resting my chin on my hands, while my elbows propped me up at my knees. "Lets get one thing straight, since this is my first sit down and all. I'm not promiscuous… usually. I mean, no… I'm not. I like a good… _meat_ and greet, but you usually have to impress me first and gain my trust before I let you get any of.. er… this," I added, pointing down towards my recently gated entry. "Edward was… he was me letting my guard down, and I know I'm here to experience new things, but that won't happen again. At least not for a few…uh… weeks… okay, days… at least a few days. _Christ_. Mr. Magic Mouth just might be the death of me before these three months are over," I announced, then felt like a total dumb ass for exposing myself.

"I'm sorry _Mr. Magic Mouth_?"

"Let's just leave it at that," I answered with a sigh, already knowing I would be teased for the rest of my life now, thanks to that little slip up.

I brought my feet further up underneath my body and bit on my bottom lip, trying to decide what I should talk about next because talking about Edward was only making my panties wet, and I'd already gone through five pairs since arriving yesterday afternoon.

"I like Alice, she's sweet. I can see us being good buddies, even though we couldn't be more different. There's something about her innocence that's both really special and really… tempting to influence." I added with a smirk, then clicked my tongue playfully.

"Rose… she obviously doesn't like me yet, but that's fine. I'm used to that kind of drama. Emmett is huge fun. He reminds me of one of my buddies, Paul, back home. Er home… there's something I don't want to talk about."

"Who wrote you that email, talk about that." The voice suddenly suggested from the box in front of me, startling me with its abrupt request.

"Oh um, the email. That was no one. My best friend back in Oregon. We had a falling out right before I left. Its good were getting a break from each other."

"How long have you known him?" the voice pushed further which also pushed my buttons in the process.

"Since birth. We grew up together. I grew up with all my friends back home; I come from a small town. We know everything about each other, the entire group of us."

"So what happened that made you guys have a falling out?"

"What is this? I thought I was supposed to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about in here?" I asked with a huff.

"You can, I'm just giving you some prompts from our producers. They want a little more back story from you."

"I don't want to talk about my _back story _or my friends back home, I want to talk about my new friends_ here_, would that be okay with you?" I snapped instantly.

"Okay, just doing my job Bella, they give me the list, and I prompt the questions," the voice replied back sounding a bit hurt.

I huffed again, feeling bothered by the fact he had actually made me feel guilty over my catty retaliation.

"What's your name?" I questioned impulsively, noting the southern drawl in his accent.

"Jasper, miss."

"Do we ever get to meet you, Jasper?" I asked, feeling it was a bit unfair that he got to watch me on camera, but I was stuck staring at a voice box while he interviewed me.

"We've met, I'm camera guy number three, and fill in interview guy this evening," he replied with a light laugh.

"Oh, right, the guy with the cowboy hat," I answered smiling at the memory of our brief initial introductions from yesterday afternoon during our orientation. Alice had actually admitted to me last night, in a whisper over dinner, that she thought _Camera Guy Number Three_ was gorgeous. Now I could tell her his name, and she could start doodling it with little red hearts on scraps of paper around the house.

"Next question, Jasper?" I pushed, prompting him this time, smiling sweetly towards the lens.

"What about James?"

"I love him. He makes the best Long Island Iced Teas. I can't wait to do some thrift store shopping with him, guy's got great taste in clothes. I also need to find out what his secret is, did you see his ass? Flawless, I tell you!" I could hear Jasper chuckle on his end and smiled at the sound of his reaction. He had a nice laugh. It was genuine, and I liked that.

"Are you looking forward to meeting your last roommate?" Jasper asked. I smiled again and nodded.

"Sure, so far they haven't been total freaks. I have no idea what to expect, we seem to have one of everything already," I teased then heard a knock on the confessional door.

"Oh, um, is that it? Are we done?" I turned to look back at the box for an answer, then instantly felt like a total twat for it.

The door opened, and I saw Edward's face peek in, looking surprised to find me already sitting there.

"Sorry, they told me to head up, that you were done and it was my turn," he apologized while coming inside the room, closing the door behind him.

"Okay, I guess we _are_ done, then." I started to stand up just as Jasper suggested we do a little joint interview here in the confessional, since we were both there and all.

It didn't take me long to realize this overlap in confessional time wasn't an accident at all.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I answered with a smirk then moved my body over in the love seat to make room for my roommate.

"How's it going _Rock Star_?" he asked smugly, bumping my shoulder with his.

"Going good. Just shooting the breeze with Jasper here. Cowboy hat wearing _Camera Guy Number Three_, he's in the box." I explained with a grin and gestured with a head nod towards the speaker in front of us.

"Oh, is that how this works? How goes it, Jasper?"

"Doing good, Edward. Okay, so just look into the camera and talk, tell us what's on your minds. How has the last twenty-four hours been for the two of you?" his southern accent prompted, and I stifled a laugh.

"Go ahead, Edward, I've already given my take," I insisted gesturing my arms out towards the camera. He smirked and sat up straighter in his seat, then cleared his throat.

"Right, well. I'm Edward…"

"Edward Masen Cullen, pro-skateboarder-slash-surfer," I interrupted after throwing my arm back out in front of him playfully.

He mocked me in return by pointing out that this was supposed to be his time and I was to be co-starring only as eye candy.

"Eye candy? Really, Cullen?"

"Shhhhh, last warning!" he threatened with a raised eyebrow, then placed his opened palm over my mouth. Part of me wanted to slide the tip of my tongue across it, but I refrained, even though the scent of his freshly washed body was driving me absolutely insane at the moment.

My Anti-Cullen Chastity Panties were in full effect.

I nodded obediently and threw my hand up to pledge the Girl Scouts.

"You were never a Girl Scout."

"I went to two meetings… when I was like six," I shot back defensively.

"Doesn't count," he was quick to respond, and I was equally quick with my eye roll just before he grabbed my hand with a surprised expression. "What's this?" he asked, isolating my pointer finger from my hand, then rotating my forearm for better inspection of the tiny tattoo on my digit.

"It's a mustache," I explained trying my best to sound bored with the conversation.

He laughed and shook his head at me, "Why the hell do you have a tattoo of a tiny handle bar mustache on your finger, Bella?"

I smirked and raised the tattoo just above my upper lip, so it would look like I now wore it gracefully under my nose with my finger pointed in full extension, then waggled my eyebrows at him and winked.

"You're too much. What were you smoking the night you decided to get that?"

"This isn't supposed to be about me, Edward. This is supposed to be about you," I reminded him then returned my stare to the camera lens.

He grumbled, pinching my side playfully, forcing me to jump in my seat and onto my knees in defense.

"No tickling," I growled, instantly pissed at myself for letting him in on another weakness of mine. I could see it in his eyes. He had picked up on the clue, and it was already being stored in his long term memory for future usage.

_Swell Swan. Just super._

"Alright, yeah. So far all the housemates seem great. I really couldn't have asked for a better group of people to experience this with."

"Who do you think will under go the most transformation while in the house?" Cowboy hat wearing _Camera Guy Number Three _asked.

"I think Alice is in for some eye opening experiences. I see a lot of potential there, though. She's a special person," Edward answered honestly, and I found myself smiling at his response.

"And what about your roomy beside you there?" Jasper asked, obviously looking to push more buttons.

"Bella?" Edward repeated with a light laugh, while he sat back to look me over, "she's a special person too," he finished, and I felt myself suck back a breath over the softness in his voice while my eyes avoided his stare.

"So then who are you looking forward to getting to know the most?" Jasper's voice asked, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward move nervously beside me.

"That's hard to say, we still have one housemate we haven't met yet," my _roomy_ answered with a smug expression, and I rolled my eyes once again at his obvious skill in arrogant remarks.

"Fair enough, anything else you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Yeah, she talks _really_ loud in her sleep. Can we get a sound machine or a box fan for our bedroom?" Edward asked, poking my side again. I jumped up onto the ledge of the sofa this time and shook my finger at him unable to speak thanks to his unwanted action.

Jasper laughed over the speaker, and said he'd talk to the producer about it then briskly ended the interview. The little red light above the camera went off, followed by a click on the intercom, which finally allowed me to let out an exasperated breath.

"That was um, fun?" I muttered under my breath then stood up just before Edward grabbed my arm to pull me back down to the seat beside him.

"What's the rush? The only thing waiting for us down there are more cameras, at least the only one in here is turned off," he pointed out smiling.

"It hasn't even been forty-eight hours, Edward, and you're already hiding from the cameras?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Okay, so they're harder to get used to than I had anticipated."

"I would have thought someone like you would be a little less _sensitive_ towards being followed around by cameras. "

"Why, because I'm a pro skater?" He laughed and shook his head, then leaned back into the sofa, resting his hands behind his neck.

"Well, that and the fact that you've made appearances in the last two Jack Ass movies, that had to bring on some fame."

"Oh, so you _do_ know who I am," he smirked, then hit my knee with his leg.

_Well shit on a stick, way to blow your cover stupid girl._

"I can appreciate grown men who get off on punching each other in the nuts. Yes… I've seen the movies… but no, I did not recognize you at first. Not until you told me you were a pro skater." I confessed, looking him briefly in the eyes.

_I swear to God, if he doesn't stop with the eye fucking, I'm going to have no choice but to straddle him right here and pray the camera's don't turn back on._

"I see, well you hid that fact very well. You're quite the actress," he spoke up, breaking me from the internal battle of, _Just Fuck His Brains Out_, which was currently going on in my head. "How much did you make off that?" I asked, desperate to keep the conversation going in order to avoid any awkward silences which would ultimately bring our lips together.

"Not much, it was more my agents doing. He was pushing for me to get my own video game, back before I temporarily retired."

"Nice."

And here it was. Silence. My own worst enemy when it came to keeping my panties on and my legs closed.

Thankfully the silence was interrupted when we heard loud squeals coming from down stars, and we were both instantly on our feet staring at one another, obviously unsure of what to say next.

"I guess we should go see what's going on?" I finally got out after a few more seconds of, _lets just fuck, _awkwardness.

"Yup, after you," he insisted, then threw his arm out to gesture for me to continue past him towards the door of the room.

Once in front of him, I felt his hands grasp my shoulders while he guided me forward, creating our own little train out the door and down the stairs where we found everyone circled around a new body.

A tall, slender body with very pretty, strawberry blonde hair, soft green eyes, flawless skin, and a smile that made you want to pucker.

She was gorgeous, but in a much more classic kind of way. Not the made up Barbie type like Rose. No, this girl was a natural beauty, and I had to admit I experienced a slight girl crush moment when her eyes smiled at me.

"Edward, Bella! Meet Tanya. She's our new housemate, and your new roommate!"

"Hi, glad you finally made it," I replied easily, then jumped after feeling Edward pinch my ass. I shot him a glare and watched as he made his way around me to greet the newest member of our twisted family.

_Ew, don't think of him as family. That's just gross. You don't let family diddle your lady parts, Swan._

"It's nice to meet you, Tanya, I'll show you up to our room," he offered extending his arm out to take her bag from her hands. She smiled sweetly at him, then shot me one last smirk before casting a follow up hello in my direction. I smiled in return and then excused myself to make my way into the kitchen so I could pour myself a drink. I'd noticed that it was finally five o'clock, which meant it was no longer too early for a shot of some kind of alcoholic substance.

"Starting early tonight?" James asked, following closely behind me as I pulled a shot class down from the cabinet.

"It's five, are you not a Jimmy Buffet fan, James?" I asked sweetly with a wink.

"Touché. Well, since you put it that way, pour me one too," he requested and took a seat in the stool across from me at the breakfast bar. I nodded my head and turned back around to retrieve one more glass, then topped them off with the sweet smell of caramel colored rum before sliding it towards him across the slick surface of the table top.

"So, did you have fun today? At the beach I mean."

"Yup, I wrote the beginning of a new song," I confirmed, then knocked back the warm liquid into my mouth.

"Very cool, so what's up with you and Cullen exactly?" He suddenly pressed, and I felt my jaw drop over his random inquisition.

"What, what do you mean?" I coughed, quickly pouring myself another round. "One more won't hurt," I insisted out loud before kicking it back between my teeth.

He shrugged with an all-knowing smirk and asked his question again, before insisting he was good with secrets.

He wasn't my concern, though. My concern was the camera man to the left of us, hiding behind the fake house plant.

Nothing would ever be a secret in this house.

"There's nothing _up_, just some drunken flirting," I lied, then walked past him to go collapse onto one of the many couches we had in our living room with the high vaulted ceilings.

"So, screaming orgasms now count as flirting? According to who? Bill Clinton?"

"Really, James? You have nothing fresher than a Bill Clinton reference?" I teased from my belly, while kicking my legs back and forth from behind me.

"So who is BlackAttack79?"

That question made me stop smiling. "What were you…"

"You may or may not have signed off from your account completely," he admitted, then wagged his finger at me disapprovingly.

"Er, I could have sworn I did."

"Nope, you didn't," he answered back, popping his p between his pressed lips.

I could tell he wouldn't leave it alone, so I quickly explained the email had come from my best friend back home, and that we'd had a falling out before I'd left.

"I see, so what are you running from exactly?"

"What is this, therapy?" I snapped, sitting up and crossing my arms in front of me.

"No, while some members of this house want to get to know you more um, physically. I on the other hand would like to get to know the more personal side of you. I'm pretty sure there's a story there worth hearing."

"No story, James, I'm just a girl who gets uncomfortable when people start to get too attached," I explained, feeling a little more relaxed now since I had a little booze flowing through my system.

"Hm… interesting… so then why bother pushing the man whore away? I don't think you'll need to worry about him getting too attached. He doesn't seem the type, wouldn't you agree?" He tested with a smirk.

I squinted my eyes at him, then let out a huff. It was all very clear now. This wasn't entirely James' doing. No, he was a pawn, and he had been sent on a mission.

"What the hell, he told you to talk to me, didn't he?" I yelped, sitting up straighter in my seat and pointing my finger at him. He laughed and shook his head in defense, but I could read his face well enough to know that wasn't entirely true.

"I'm just a good observer. One thing you should know about me, Bella, I'm all about paying attention to the smaller details in things," he warned, then shot me a wink before standing up and leaving me behind.

Would Mr. Magic Mouth actually send in _mind_ ninjas to help him gain some ground with me?

_No you twit, stop being a ridiculous moron who thinks everyone's out to one up you._

_

* * *

_

After dinner we all decided it would be fun to head downtown so that we could do some bar hopping and weed out the places not worth spending our money at. We wouldn't be starting our jobs for another two weeks, so at the moment we were living off an allowance from the show that consisted of two hundred dollars each and that minimal amount was supposed to last us for the next fourteen days. I wasn't used to being placed on an allowance. Thanks to my family history, I was usually the one picking up all the tabs back home, but I was determined to play it fair here in South Carolina.

For this evenings outing, I had decided to slip into my tight, torn up jeans and a fitted tank, which would probably be best described as a 'barely there' top leaving little for the imagination, underneath a buckled vest my best friend Jake had made for me last year for my birthday.

Just because we weren't talking didn't mean my wardrobe had to suffer for it.

"_Wow_, Bella, that outfit is hot!" Tanya exclaimed after giving me the once over as soon as I'd emerged from the bathroom. I saw Edward glance up from where he was reading his magazine on his bed and felt my face smirk at the sight of his added on double take.

"Thanks, my buddy back home makes this stuff. He's pretty good with fitted looks," I explained, then made my way towards my dresser, while ignoring the lone camera man standing between our doorway and the hall.

"I'll say, I just really can't get over how gorgeous you are, Bella. You're such a natural beauty. I wish I could pull off a look like that."

"Oh, I think you could, Tanya," Edward spoke up, shooting our roommate a wink. She smiled sweetly and tugged at her blue jean mini skirt before taking a seat at the edge of her own bed to slip on her knee high-high heeled boots. I rolled my eyes watching Edward stare at her legs while she laced up her footwear and groaned at the sight of his hungry grin.

"Are you coming out with us tonight, Edward?" I asked, then wondered if that had been my desperate attempt to bring his attention back to me.

"Um, not tonight. I'm going to stick around here I think, I'm not feeling the greatest," he explained, which quickly earned him an _'awwww poor Eddie'_ from our roommate. I saw him grimace over the sound of her nickname for him, and stifled a laugh.

_I bet he wouldn't make that face over the nickname I gave him._

_Shut it._

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, then grabbed my messenger bag from the night stand and instructed him not to wait up and that I would do my best to not wake him when we came home. He flipped his hand back at me in response and told us to be safe and to call him if anything got out of control. I almost laughed at his statement but bit my lip instead. We had Emmett accompanying us, how much more muscle would we need if we did happen to find trouble?

"So, Bella, do you have a boyfriend back home?" Tanya asked, while we made our way down the stairs to join up with the rest of the house.

"Um, no. I don't do boyfriends."

"Girlfriends?"

I laughed at her question and shook my head no again. "I don't do relationships period," I explained, then smiled at the sight of Alice in her knee length, cotton dress and flat ballerina shoes.

_She really is precious… and now is the time to start changing that._

"Alice, come with me," I insisted, grabbing her hand to drag her back upstairs to my bedroom where I had the most perfect black corset dress waiting for her in the closet.

"I, I can't wear that, Bella," she stuttered, taking a few steps back after I'd presented it towards her. I could hear Edward swallow a laugh from behind her and instantly warned him to stay quiet.

"Yes, you can, now go change, and I'll find some shoes for you. We look to be the same size," I told her and gave her tiny frame a push towards our bathroom. She followed my instructions with a sigh and threw Edward a 'help me please' glance, but all he did was shrug in return before going back to the pages of the skateboarding rag in his hands.

"You shouldn't push her too soon," he warned under his breath once the door was shut securely.

"Excuse me?"

"You're going to have to go slow with her, or you're going to scare her back to Bible Town."

"I know what I'm doing, a cute dress isn't going to send her to hell," I insisted, then turned to retrieve a pair of black heels from the closet.

"Okay, if you say so, just don't say I didn't warn you," he tested without looking up from his reading material. I sighed and rolled my eyes, then knocked on the bathroom door before going in to help Alice hook the front of the dress up. I knew her inexperience with such a garment would give her trouble, and I didn't want her feeling frustrated before making her grand entrance with her mini makeover.

"Bella, this is um, I don't know, there's quite a bit of my um, well you see," Alice was stuttering while looking at her reflection in the full length mirror on the wall.

"Wow, your tits look amazing in that!" I exclaimed, then nodded my head approvingly. She coughed at my statement and pressed her breasts upwards slightly, creating a bit more cleavage, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Alice, sweetie, those things will have men buying drinks for you all night long, ergo you will not have to spend a dollar of your allowance which is a total win, now let me help you with the last of the hooks," I suggested and stepped in front of her to pull the fabric closer together.

"Thanks, Bella," she whispered lightly and I smiled in return.

"Don't mention it, this is all about new things right? I want to make sure you're experiencing everything you've come out here looking for honey," I insisted, then flashed her a wink. She giggled, and the next thing I knew her arms were wrapped around me in a tight embrace.

"You're like the black sheep of the family sister I never had," she shared quietly, and I laughed again at her statement then extended the shoes I had dug out from my closet out towards her.

"Now, lets get going, we mustn't keep the men waiting, young grasshopper," I told her with another wink and took her hand into mine to lead her back out and down the stairs before Edward could make any kind of follow up remarks over our housemate's transformation.

* * *

When we got to the first bar, we quickly decided to move on after realizing it was full of blue hairs. Also known as, _old people_. Yes, even at eleven o'clock at night they were out in numbers here in this town. The second place proved to be a little more promising, but the music was unfortunately beyond awful so we didn't last long there either. The third bar we stopped at was perfect. Good atmosphere, people our own age, decent music, and it was ladies night for another hour. Total win.

"Alice, I just can't get over how different you look," Emmett wouldn't stop, and I couldn't help but notice that Rose seemed a bit bothered over it.

_What is with this girl? Does she think everything with a cock and balls should have eyes for only her? Pft, get over yourself Barbie._

"What will it be?" the cute bartender with a sexy lip ring asked me after greeting us with an equally sexy smile.

"Me? I'll have a Vodka and Red Bull, thanks, love," I answered with a wink and watched his smile grow. Alice giggled beside me at our exchange then ordered the same, which I found absolutely adorable. Especially the way she pronounced, Va-da-ka.

"He's really cute, right?" She asked while throwing her eyes towards the man fetching our drinks.

"Yup, and I bet he's amazing in bed, did you see those hands?" I asked wickedly, then laughed at her flushed appearance.

"Bella!"

I laughed again and shrugged my shoulders playfully just as he made his way back towards us with the drinks in his hand and a grin still on his face. Our eyes remained locked while I thanked him kindly, and he nodded his head in response, then asked me my name.

"Bella, and what will I call you?"

"I'm Aro. Are you apart of that T.V. show they're filming in town?"

"What gave me away?" I asked smiling then took a sip from my chilled glass.

"Well lets see, there's the fact that I've never seen you around here before, and you seem like someone who would like to frequent my little establishment here."

"This is your bar?" I asked, surprised. He looked way too young to be running his own club in this touristy little town.

"It was passed down to me two years ago, so yes, this is my bar. Well, mine and my brothers."

"Nice."

"I like to think so," he replied, still grinning down at me. His smile was making my own face flush now, so I quickly looked away, not ready to expose my inability to stay absolutely cool when a cute guy showered me with attention.

"What else gave me away, Aro, _owner of the bar_."

"The camera guy that's sitting over there with his lens pointing right at us. _Huge_ give away," he mocked then pointed his finger before rotating his hand up to flash the lens his middle digit.

"Shhh, stop, you're not supposed to look at them," I ordered between my teeth.

"Baby, you may have signed your life away to them, but I haven't, and I'll point with which ever finger I please, and look if I want to, and if they don't like it, they can just edit the first time we met out of their precious show," he insisted, then shot me another wink before walking away to wait on the rest of my housemates.

He was obviously flirting with me, and for the first time in two days, I was okay with receiving attention from a member of the opposite sex. Primarily because I wouldn't be living with him for the next three months.

I mean, in the looks category he wouldn't hold a candle to Edward, but that was besides the point. Edward was off limits… for the time being.

While watching him work, I smiled and then frowned at the sight of Tanya leaning across the bar to pull his shirt towards her so she could whisper something into his ear.

I let out a frustrated huff and took my drink in my hand, then pulled Alice with me to a booth in the corner of the room where Rose and James quickly joined us.

"I don't like her," Rose confessed almost instantly. I already knew she was talking about our newest housemate. I'm sure she viewed her as being the biggest threat in the house since they could both win a Ms. Hawaiian Tropic pageant but I wouldn't throw that in her face.

"She seems nice, just a little..."

"Whorish?" Rose finished for James, and we all laughed.

"Well I was going to say flirty, but I guess that could work too," I added with another light laugh, appreciating that I could find something in common with Rose.

Our conversation quickly got settled on more important things like what we thought our jobs would be during our stay in the house and who would be in charge of cleaning and cooking, before I interrupted them to excuse myself to go get a refill from my new favorite boy toy bar tender.

"You're back, so soon? I obviously need to make your drinks a little stronger."

"I guess, I mean if you don't want me visiting you up here at the bar all night," I replied with a smirk, and he nodded his head with a wink before taking my glass from my hand.

"I suppose that's true, maybe I should even up my chances a little by comp'ing your drinks for the rest of the night?" he suggested, still smiling with his baby blue eyes staring intently into my own.

"That might help," I replied back, then took my refill from him and tapped his nose playfully before returning to my friends at their table.

Tonight was going to be fun, especially now that I'd managed to score myself free drinks for the evening.

Mission accomplished.

* * *

Around two in the morning, Emmett insisted it was time to pack it in and head home. Mostly because Rose was no longer able to stand on her own two feet, and I knew he was hoping to get her back to the house for some first time drunken action.

_Men are so obvious… and always horny._

"Bella!" I heard someone shout after me as soon as we were out on the street. I turned and found Aro waving his hand in my direction and smiled sweetly as I waved back and walked towards him.

Once I was standing a few feet from him, he asked me if I was heading home so soon.

"Yeah, my housemates are ready to go. We need to get Rose home," I explained, then shifted my feet in front of me, feeling slightly nervous over wishing him a goodnight. He really was a good looking guy, not to mention totally my type, but I wasn't quite ready to jump into bed with another random stranger just yet.

"Why don't you stay back with me, help me close up, and I'll walk you home."

"Walk?" I asked, not feeling up to the trek after having had more than a few drinks.

"It will fly by, trust me, it's only a few blocks really," he mused, then nodded his head back towards the door of his bar. "Come on, I promise, I won't bite."

"Well then, where's the fun in that?" I asked, feeling smug, then told him we could meet up another night, but that I was sure my eyes wouldn't be able to handle staying open for much longer, so my company would not be of much use to him.

He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "Well, I had to at least try. Till next time, _reality TV girl_. Get home safely."

I smiled back at him and shook my head, then turned to join my friends who were already in the parking lot waiting impatiently for me.

"Bella's got a boyfriend, Bella's got a boyfriend," Tanya instantly started singing from the back of the van as I climbed into the shot gun seat beside Emmett.

"Shut it," I warned without turning around, then fastened my seat belt, praying for a quieter ride home.

* * *

When we got back to the house, Emmett wasted no time in tossing Rose over his shoulder to carry her inside while Alice, James, Tanya and I trotted in behind them. I hid my laugh over the sight of Alice skipping on her bare feet with the heels she had borrowed clenched in her hands.

"Bella, thanks for an awesome night out, and for letting me borrow your clothes, if you ever want to borrow anything of mine, don't hesitate to ask," Alice insisted, then gave me a tight hug before taking off to her room up stairs.

_Right, maybe I'll dress as Ann Of Green Gables for Halloween this year._

I smiled watching her leave, feeling proud of her for letting loose a little tonight, even if she had only ingested a drink and a half before switching over to water with lemon.

After flicking on the kitchen light and almost running into Jasper when I rounded the corner, I made my way into the living room and found Edward sleeping on one of the sofa's under a window. I smirked at the sight of his perfect ass displayed up in the air under his loose fitting sweat pants, thanks to the awkward position he had passed out in, and then walked over to drape a blanket over his body. When I turned back around to leave, I was surprised to see Jasper had disappeared.

_Oh right, its after two a.m. and they switch over to house cameras rather than the creepy human stalkers at two thirty. _This was important information to have_._

I made my way into the phone room where there was also another house computer set up for Skype sessions with our family and friends back home. I knew I'd regret in the morning what I was about to do, but I just wanted them to know I was okay and then that would be it.

I settled in front of the computer screen and turned the machine on, which instantly prompted me for my log on information. After filling in all the boxes, I pressed enter and waited for my on-line contacts list to appear. Just as expected, he was on and my palms were already sweating. Before I could chicken out, I typed…

_**DreadilocksB**: Hey Jake._

It took him seconds to reply.

_**JakeBlack:** Hey!_

_**DreadilocksB:** Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got here alright, and that I'm okay._

_**JakeBlack:** Okay, thanks. We were wondering when you'd come out of hiding._

Typical Jake, calling me out on my bull shit right away.

_**DreadilocksB:** Shut it. I was not hiding. I've been busy getting to know my new people._

_**JakeBlack:** Right, right, well just don't forget about your old people while you're at it. Thanks for checking in._

_**Dreadilocks:** Jake I,_

_**JakeBlack:** Yeah?_

_**Dreadilocks:** I got to go, someone's making noise in the kitchen._

I was lying, but he wouldn't know that… till the episode aired.

_Mother fuck,_

_**DreadilocksB:** Okay that was a lie, I'm not ready to talk about anything else. I just wanted you to know I was okay._

_**JakeBlack:** Right, it's cool. I'm not going anywhere._

_**DreadilocksB:** Bye Jake._

_**JakeBlack:** Later Dreadilocks. _

I smiled at my nickname and made sure I signed out of my account completely this time, then switched the light off to go back out into the common room.

"_Pssssssst,_" a voice whispered in the dark. I smiled knowing it was Edward, then slowly made my way towards the sofa where I had tucked him in just a few minutes ago. "Thanks for the blanket."

"You looked cold," I whispered back, standing a few feet away from him now.

"Yeah, so maybe you should come help me warm up, body heat works much faster," he suggested, and I could almost see his smirk in the darkness.

I smiled to myself and shook my head, "You're something else."

"Did you have a good time tonight?" he asked, changing the subject.

I sighed and took a seat on the edge of the sofa beside him, then leaned against his body to relax. It seemed like the natural thing to do, so I just went with it without letting myself second guess the situation. It was, after all, what I would do with any of my friends back home.

"Yup, we found a good little hang out. Volturi's Crook, it's over off Main Street, Alice and I managed to get our drinks comp'd all night, so it worked out well, not that she took advantage of it, but we still had a nice time," I explained while picking at my finger nails in the dark.

I noticed the blinking red light in the corner of the room, reminding me that we were still being watched, even though there was no actual camera man in the room.

"Well, you're not coming home like a girl who had free drinks all night, I'm kind of disappointed," he teased, then pulled my arm down so I'd lay beside him. I rolled my eyes but didn't fight the gesture, letting the back of my body press itself against Edward's chest, while he draped his freed arm over me securely, pulling me firmly up against him. "You do, however, smell as though you've been swimming in a pool of vodka and Red Bull," he added into my ear after taking a deep breath, bringing goose bumps to my exposed arms. His hand began rubbing my skin briskly trying to warm me up just before he pulled the blanket I had draped over him over both our bodies. His hand slid across my hips so that his palm was now resting on the curve of my pelvic bone, before taking in another deep breath beside my ear.

"Edward," I began to warn, but he hushed me and insisted this was completely platonic. "Righttt," I replied with my own exasperated breath, but for some insane reason, I still didn't move.

I liked being in his arms. It felt good to be held by someone. No, that's not entirely true, it felt good to be held by him, and I was already hating him for it but still unable to change my position.

"I like to cuddle, did I not mention that in our introductions?" he asked playfully, while I lifted my head back up to create a pillow with my bundled up locks underneath me.

"No, you must have left that out," I warned, then rested my head back down beside his gorgeous face.

_This is not the way you keep your Anti-Cullen Chastity Panties on Swan._ A voice warned in the back of my head, but I insisted that I could handle myself and ignore any further advances he may send my way past this friendly platonic cuddling.

"Besides, there are far too many hooks and buckles here for me to deal with. I'm too tired for that kind of work," he added while flicking the front of my top with his fingers, and I quickly reached around to pinch his leg with my hand.

He laughed at my retaliation and pinned my hand back down at my side, then ran his palm back up my leg to grasp my hip again, his finger tips dangerously danced just past the top of my jeans so that he could snap the elastic band of my panties, before biting his teeth down on my shoulder playfully. I giggled uncontrollably, thanks to him locating a delicate spot on my body, and tried to wriggle free from his grasp, but he only held me tighter. Before I knew it, I was pinned underneath him with our eyes smiling in the darkness at one another, our lips, once again, mere inches apart.

We stayed there for what felt like forever, unsure of what our next move should be, when all of a sudden the kitchen light turned back on, and Tanya's more than surprised faced appeared smirking at us.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," she insisted, but by the look on her face, I highly doubted that to be fact.

"You didn't interrupt anything," I mumbled in return, then pushed him off of me onto the floor beside the couch so that I could stand and get up stairs to change for bed. I needed to be safely away from him and his platonic actions now.

_Thank god for our new housemate and her impeccable timing._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Cock-blocking Tanya. You know you already hate her, haha. How are we feeling about Aro? Does Edward have some competition of his own? I may lose some of you now that it's been pointed out that Bella just might have other hookups aside from Mr. Magic Mouth... I hope not though. Stick it out, I promise to only pay_ real_ attention to the E/B lemons... I mean if Bella ever does lose her ACCP's.**

**Voting for Round 2 in the Twilight Avant Garde Awards is still open. If you're a TMT reader don't forget to stop by to cast a vote for Two Makes Three as Best Love Story, and maybe even one for me in the Best Novice Author category. *wink***

**http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/vote(dot)html**

***Check out my profile for a link to a manip of Bella with her fingerstache tattoo Lolypop82 made for this chapter! **

**This will probably be my last update for IRL till after the holidays (You can expect the TMT epi before then though). Stupid RL responsibilities and all. Anyways I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and make lots of amazing memories with the people who matter most to you.**

**For those away on vacay looking for a new read while killing time with the family I have a great rec:**

**Home By: clarabella75**

** http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6327011/1/Home **

_**Bella Swan returns to Forks to say goodbye. Her past and present collide, revealing secrets and opening old wounds. Will Bella be able to finally find her way home again?**_

_**AU amazing-ness! **_

**Till next time, PB**

**_*Please Review... what will Bella do the next time she finds herself alone with Mr. M & M? Will Aro be a big threat thanks to his upper hand?*_**


	5. Adventures In BellaSitting

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

******A/N: Hi again! Hope everyone had a great holiday and a very happy New Year! Here's our first look inside Mr. Magic Mouths head. Hopfully he won't scare you away. *wink* Quick note... if you like interactive reading, there's a part in this chapter where a song is used. I'm providing a link to a youtube video of the song being performed live so you can "_feel_" like you're experiencing the moment while reading it in the story. If you're interested, here's the link : watch?v=dK7LbEI-DpE **(just remove the.'s, replace it with .'s, and inclose the spaces)******. You can also find a link on my profile under the IRL stuff OR on the IRL Blog.**

* * *

******Adventures In Bella-Sitting**

**Chapter 5**

**~Edward~**

As soon as the sun was shinning through our bedroom window, I was up and out of bed. I glanced over, where Bella was still sleeping soundly a few feet away from me, and felt a unfamiliar smile creep across my face.

She was hugging her pillow to her chest with a slightly serious expression on her own face. Her rhythmic breathing lifted her comforter up and down over her slender body, which looked to be curled up into a fetal position beneath her sheets.

She stirred for a moment, and I snapped myself out of my creepy, stalker-like stare just in time to turn around and see Tanya smiling at me from the doorway of our shared bathroom.

"That's so cute. If she catches you, though, you're going to freak her the _fuck_ out," she whispered softly, with emphasis on the word fuck and a smirk across her meticulously painted lips. I rolled my eyes and watched her walk past me to quietly slip through the beaded curtain of our room before silently making my way into the bathroom to start my own morning routine. The entire time I was in the shower, all I could think about was the smell of Bella's boozed up skin when I'd pressed her up against my body the night before on the couch down stairs. If I'd have had just two more minutes we could have gotten to know each other again, in a less than appropriate way for two people who still hardly knew each other and who had also vowed to take the friend route seriously for the next few weeks.

It was a good thing our other roommate was hot, or I'd have already written her off as being a waste of my time and a total cock block after last night's interruption.

After rubbing one out to the memory of what it had been like to feel the warmth between Bella's legs against the palms of my hands, I dried myself off and shaved the stubble that had appeared on my face overnight. I got dressed and headed down the stairs to see what the rest of the house was up to, because I had a stop I wanted to make in town.

"Where are you going Edward?" Alice asked once I'd made my way into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal and the van keys.

"Me? I was going to head into town. I saw a skate shop and wanted to pick up a new board. Is it cool if I take the van?"

"Um, well I wanted to go get some stuff at the store for dinner tonight," Alice spoke up shyly. It was painfully obvious that we were going to need to work on her assertiveness.

"And I wanted to pick up some things at the mall," Tanya added, inserting herself into the conversation from the breakfast counter.

"Whose going to the mall?" a familiar, sleepy voice asked from behind me. I turned to find Bella rubbing her eyes with her fists balled up and smirked at the sight of her disheveled appearance. She obviously didn't give a shit, and I loved that.

_So fucking sexy, this girl just might ruin me without even trying._

"Edward's taking us all out, he's going to play chauffeur. Want to come along?" Tanya asked our roommate sweetly.

"Er, um. Yeah sure, I'll go get dressed," she replied, still sounding half asleep as she let loose a loud yawn, extending her arms out at her sides and almost punching the camera man who was now stationed only a few feet away from her, which she apparently hadn't noticed yet.

"Oh!" she yelped after her hand hit the lens, and I grinned even more at the sight of her wide eyes and embarrassed expression.

There was something about her surprised look that really made me want to grunt out loud like a caveman, but I'd managed to keep my impulsive reaction to her adorableness quiet.

_Really, Cullen? Adorableness? Time to tweak the vocabulary._

"Well, get dressed, Rock Star, I've got places to be, things to do," I insisted with a wink, knowing my usage of her nickname would cast a red shade over her already rosy cheeks.

She rolled her eyes at me, then flicked me a quick bird from behind her back as she turned to walk away. I laughed watching her head up stairs, while her hands tied her dreads back into a pony tail behind her neck. My eyes, of course, made their way to her flawless ass in her tight yoga pants, while I watched her legs carry her up the flight of steps. The only thing that broke my stare was the sudden poke in my side from our other roommate, who apparently wanted some attention of her own.

"So, you're a skater?" Tanya asked sweetly, with a smirk I knew all too well. The girl wanted me, it was obvious, and I knew if I wanted to, I could take her up to the confessional room right this second and probably get her into any position my heart desired. But I wasn't in the mood for that.

Not yet anyway.

At the moment I could only focus on one flawless ass at a time, and right now Bella's had my full attention even though it had left the room.

"I am, what do you do?" I asked somehow managing to make polite conversation while I poured myself a bowl of Lucky Charms at the counter top.

"Oh you know, a little bit of everything, a little bit of _everyone_," she toyed with a wink, creating an unforced grin on my face.

"Nice, I'll have to keep that in mind," I joked back, then asked Alice if she had seen Em and Rose yet this morning.

"Nope, they've been shacked up in their room since we got back last night. She was pretty trashed, though, I don't expect her to be very animated today," Alice confessed with a low giggle, "and James is out running."

"Did you have a good time out with everyone?" I knew last night had to have been an eye opening experience for the _house good girl_, so I was curious to hear how things had gone from her own perspective instead of Bella's slightly skewed interpretation.

"Totally! Bells introduced me to a new drink, and this bartender hooked us up with free drinks all night."

"Oh, yeah! He _totally_ had a thing for Bella. It was so cute! He even tried to get her to stick around with him when we were all leaving," Tanya added nonchalantly, while she poured some milk into my bowl for me.

"Really, a bartender?" This news, for whatever reason, did not sit well with me, but I wouldn't let that become public knowledge. I wasn't the jealous, territorial type, and I wasn't about to let some girl I'd only known for forty-eight hours change that, no matter how intrigued I was by her.

"Yup, I think his name was Art, or Aro? I don't know, they made plans to hang out again while we're here. The bar was great. We should go back tonight! It's open mic night, I saw it on the flyer. Maybe we could get Bella to do a song for us!" Alice exclaimed, already bouncing in her seat over the idea.

Jasper was circling us now and repositioning himself against the wall, no doubt looking for some sign of unease in my expression, but I wouldn't give anything up.

If Bella was out there looking for other hookups, then I'd continue to do my thing, too. After all, this was a string-less relationship we were in, and she wanted to go the friend route. So why the hell should I care if she wanted to hook up with some sleazy _all-I-want-to-do-is-fuck-bartender_.

_Shit, normally you're the, all-I-want-to-do-is-fuck-prowler but this girl is under your skin, Cullen, and she only wants to be friends, which means you are royally screwed up the ass._

The dreaded, fucking 'F' word.

_Friends_.

_At least she's all about Friends who fuck, though_, I reminded myself with another hidden smirk.

She had set up the guidelines, and now I had to play by her rules, hoping for another opportunity to show her I was capable of being trusted with more than just a roommate _slash_ friendship tag.

I needed to feel her on me again. I had to have more than just hand holding and platonic cuddling, but if the bases would need to be rounded first, then that's what I would do.

The only plus in all of this was the fact that as I rounded the bases with her, I would still be able to play the field, thanks to her apparent free-loving preferences and lack of desire for exclusivity.

My only concern was whether or not I'd be able to handle sharing that which resided between those flawless legs of hers.

I almost moaned out loud thinking about what it had been like to go down on her just two nights ago and felt my dick twitch in my pants, while I shifted my weight in the bar stool.

"Oh so that guitar upstairs is Bella's? I figured it was yours, Edward," Tanya spoke up, again breaking my daydream of the seemingly perfect creature who had apparently taken over my every, lust-filled thought.

"Nope, not mine, that's Jane. Bella's best friend," I told her with a smirk, hearing Alice giggle from beside me.

"She named her guitar?" Tanya sounded slightly freaked with this revelation.

"Yup, she did, just like I name my boards."

"You don't!" Alice replied with another light giggle before taking my empty cereal bowl from in front of me to rinse it in the sink. It was kind of nice being waited on by a house full of women. I started to insist I could do it myself, but didn't, realizing that if she wanted to clean up after me, who was I to take that happiness away from her?

About fifteen minutes later, Bella had returned downstairs, with her sunglasses on and a bandana tied around her hair. A slight grimace crossed her face at the sight of Tanya running her hand through my own hair, while we all sat on the sofa discussing our childhood memories and most embarrassing moments, with Jasper and his camera lens still quietly watching us.

"Ready to go?" she asked looking towards Alice rather than at me and our flirty roommate, who had obviously taken interest in what I had to offer.

_Is that a jealous streak I'm sensing? Interesting._

Once we were all finally out the door, Tanya quickly linked her arm through mine and bumped me with her hip, before calling out she wanted to ride _my_shot gun. I could have sworn I heard Bella snicker something under her breath to Alice from behind us, but all I could focus on at the moment were Tanya's breasts, which were now being pressed up against me, while she hugged herself closer to my body with every step we took.

"So, Edward, no girlfriend, right? I mean, I'm assuming, after all the rumors I've heard and the things I've witnessed."

I chocked on the air in my lungs, realizing what she was insinuating and prayed that Bella hadn't overheard her inquiry. I knew if our indiscretions became a running joke amongst our housemates, Bella would definitely start to push me further and further away again, and I couldn't have that happen.

"No girlfriend for me. You missed initial introductions, but we're all single in the house."

"That's what I was hoping to hear," she cooed softly, then increased her grasp around my arm, just as we stepped up to where the van was parked in the long driveway.

I was a gentleman and opened the door for her, with a smile and an impulsive wink escaping me before I could stop it. She tossed up her leg behind her in total prima ballerina fashion and pressed her lips to my cheek, then stepped up into the bucket seat to take her place, thanking me further with a wink of her own.

_Simmer down, Cullen. Priorities._

I rounded the van and kicked the mud from my shoes, then opened the driver's side door to slide in behind the wheel.

"So where are we going to drop you off, Bella?" I asked as she made her way into the seat in back of mine. I glanced in the rear view mirror just in time to see her look into my eyes, while she cleaned her sunglasses with the bottom of her sweater. She bit at her bottom lip while thinking my question over, and I felt my dick once again react to the sight of her unplanned sexiness.

She obviously hadn't even considered where she'd want to go, only intending to tag along this morning. I was already praying she would choose to join me at the skate shop rather than the mall or the grocery store with our other two housemates. Any solo time we would get together I would use to my advantage, to break our friendship mold in, so that I might further my status in her eyes.

I noticed the camera car following behind us at the light and asked Bella once again where she'd like to be dropped off, since she'd offered no answer to my original question. I knew if she did come with me, we would no doubt have the luxury of Jasper following us around rather than him scoping Alice and Tanya on their solo adventures.

"I, er, I just thought we were all going to stick together at all the stops… I didn't realize we were being dropped off like bus riders," she snickered, then looked away with a huff. "Where are you going, Alice?"

"Grocery store. It's my night to cook dinner, so I have a few things to pick up. I'll only need an hour, tops."

"I'm going to the mall. I couldn't fit a few of my favorite pairs of shoes into my suitcases, so I need to hit a shoe shop or two," Tanya informed the rest of us.

"Oh boy, shoe shopping or meat market lurking," Bella grumbled, looking unimpressed with the two options she'd been presented.

"I'm going to the skate shop," I told her. "I saw a music store a few blocks down from it I think," I was trying to hide my smirk, but failing miserably. This wasn't even a contest anymore.

I already knew I'd win, and it was pointless for her to try and pretend otherwise.

"Well, I guess that's that, then. I need to pick up some extra strings just incase _someone_ pops one of mine with _his _careless playing," she returned with a hidden smirk of her own, which I caught in my mirror.

I smiled and nodded my head, feeling victorious in having won her company for an hour of solo time, then redirected my stare back on the road, placing a bit more pressure on the gas peddle, so we could lose our third and fourth wheel that much quicker.

* * *

After we dropped off Alice and Tanya, Bella jumped into the passenger seat beside me, letting out a huff before slouching down deep into her seat with her arms hugging her knees to her chest.

"Seatbelt," I warned with a short stop at the stop sign to prove my point. I found myself satisfied with her startled expression and continued to drive the van out of the parking lot, once I'd heard the click of a metal fastener at her lap.

"Right, right. Safety first. Always looking out, aren't you?"

I smiled to myself and made my way further down the busy street that would take us to the strip of stores along the posh drag of the town's Main Street Bella had already fallen in love with.

That's right, I'd noticed her awe struck expression when we'd driven down the row of stores to go to the beach just yesterday. The girl didn't hide herself very well, at least not to me. Truthfully, in some ways she'd already presented herself as an open book, and I was only missing the minor details of the story now. I had the outline, though, and that was enough to get things started.

She was running from something. She also hoped getting out of her hometown for a little while would be the distraction she needed when it came to whatever it was she running from. She had ambitions and dreams that she knew she was capable of achieving, but had no real desire to go after them, for some reason. Lastly, but most importantly, she wanted to be loved but was too afraid to reciprocate the feelings. Instead, she looked for emotionless connections to feel loved, while never having to own up to any real emotional attachment.

Yup, I might not have a PhD, but I knew she was a runner, and I was determined to run beside her till she slowed down.

_Jesus, can you get any more lame, you pussy whipped fuck? Please do yourself a favor and don't ever utter that kind of bullshit out loud, Cullen. No one needs to know how much Dr. Phil you watched while you were stuck in the hospital rehabilitating._

"So, you're getting a new board? Why would you come all this way without one?" she asked after we'd parked and gotten ourselves out of the van.

"I hadn't expected to want to ride. I haven't _really_ been on a board in almost a year, but I guess you could say I've recently found some inspiration,"

"Oh yeah, what's inspired you, Mr. Cullen?" she asked, seemingly half interest. It was obvious she was only creating dialog for the camera that was now in front of us. It was pretty damn impressive how well these guys were able to point a lens and walk backwards all at the same time without ever running into anything.

I saw her eye the bar across the street and realized it was the place they'd visited last night. I wondered if she was thinking about the new _I-only-want-to-fuck-bartender_ friend of hers. I sneered in reaction to the unwelcome image in my head.

_Jealousy, Cullen… get it under control._

I noticed Jasper still following closely behind us now and let out a sigh, wishing we were living under a more normal situation. Then I realized if we had been, I probably never would have met the girl that was now walking beside me.

_Reign it in, puss boy. Focus_.

"I dunno, seeing you on your guitar, hearing you play. I miss having something like that in my life. It's time I return to what I love doing the most."

"So, what you're saying then, is that it was _I_ who inspired you?" she asked with a light laugh. "That's incredibly heart warming… and slightly alarming," she teased, then bumped into me playfully. I caught her by the wrist and pulled her back beside me, catching a smile in her eyes after she'd pushed her shades up to the top of her hair line. As soon as we entered the shop we were greeted by loud hardcore music on the speakers and I smiled over the familiarity of our surroundings.

"Hey welcome… wait! Whoa! You're Edward Masen Cullen! Holy shit!" A young guy shouted from behind the counter after giving me the once over.

"Guilty," I mumbled, running my hand through my hair while I eyed the boards they had hanging on the wall.

"Whoa! This is amazing! Can I get you to sign my board, bro! What the hell are you doing in Charleston? Shit, people aren't going to believe this!"

"Um, well," I started to explain, then instead decided to just gesture towards the camera guy who had followed us into the shop.

"Oh, whoa! You're on that reality show that's filming here, crazy shit! Oh shit, can I curse and still be on the show?"

"It's on cable," I informed him with a smile, pointing at an all black Zero board that was displayed behind him, "Can I see that one?"

"Yeah sure! Of course, here you go," the kid reached up and handed me the board I'd asked to see, then fumbled with his iPhone, no doubt Tweeting to all his friends that I'd just walked into his place of employment.

It came with the territory.

I tossed the board back and forth in my hands and spun the wheels, asking him where the closest skate park was. I was happy to hear they had one in town that was only a few blocks away. Once I was ready to take that step, it was good to know I'd have the facilities I would need to break myself in again.

"I'll take this one, and I'll take one of those chick helmets for _that_ one over there," I told him, gesturing towards Bella, who was looking at some wheels in the display case to the right of me.

"Me?" she asked with a stiff laugh, then shook her head disapprovingly. "You're not going to get me on _that_ thing. I can barely walk in heels sometimes without tripping over myself."

"Well, that doesn't stop you from wearing them, does it?"

"No, but heels make me look hot while a big bruise on my ass will not."

"Quiet, I'm going to teach you how to ride. It will be fun, and you will enjoy it," I insisted with a smirk, then took out my wallet.

"No way, man, it's on the house, your money is no good here," the kid replied, waving his hands at me. I smiled and nodded my head, not wanting to argue over a free gift. I instead offered to sign a few more boards for him as thanks, and he quickly jumped at the opportunity disappearing into the back to grab everything he had with him that I could cast my signature onto.

"Aw, look at you, you've got fans! So cute!" Bella teased, then insisted again that I'd never get her on a skateboard sober, and if she was drunk it would be an even worse idea.

I laughed and shushed her while I autographed three more boards, a few flyers for the shop and two helmets the clerk had produced at the counter top, thanking him once more before saying goodbye. I took Bella by the hip to guide her back outside so we could stop in at the small mom and pop music store on the next block over and smiled to myself when she placed her hand over mine, securing its position.

She was quiet, so I knew that meant she was thinking, which was never good when it came to over-thinking females like herself.

Once inside, she made her way to the counter and quickly purchased a pack of acoustic strings, while I settled in front of an old piano that was displayed in the middle of the showroom. My fingers hit the keys playfully, and she shot me a glare that told me to behave.

_Christ, I love that look._

My eyes watched her while she conversed with the clerk, thanking him for carrying her favorite brand of strings, and I couldn't help but smile at the amount of politeness she was capable of producing to total strangers when they treated her with respect. "Do you play the piano, too?" I asked, after she'd stepped up beside me with her purchase in her hands.

"I _play_ a lot of things, Edward," she teased, then slid her fingers down my arm suggestively, all the way to my own fingertips which were still resting over the ivory keys of the piano.

I swear to God, sometimes I felt like she was the whiplash queen with her behavior, but I didn't mind one bit because in the moments where she actually let her guard down, I got to see the real her and it made all the rest worth it.

"Well, let's see what you got, Rock Star," I requested then watched her glance around the shop to nervously scout the surroundings. She shrugged after discovering we were alone, with only the elderly clerk who had returned to his old murder mystery novel behind the register.

I watched her fingers while they moved over the keys, and quickly became lost in the song she filled the room with. I could tell by the way she was biting at her bottom lip that she wanted to open her mouth and sing, but she was holding back. That only made me admire her more, as well as crave for her lips to be on my body again while her fingers explored my skin.

My smile grew after she closed her eyes to get further lost in the music she was playing, and I didn't even realize my hand was moving towards her face until it was already grasping one of her soft dreads to pull it back behind her shoulder, away from her eyes. She continued to play the slow, sorrowful song with her delicate fingertips for a few more seconds, swaying her body forward and backwards on the bench we were sharing and I felt my heart ache to hold her in my arms. When she stopped, she took a deep breath before opening her eyes again, smiling up at me with a hint of bashfulness appearing across her cheeks.

I'd never in my life wanted to touch someone as badly as I was craving to touch her right in this very moment.

"That was amazing. Really, you're so talented, Bella. That was the same song I've heard you play on your guitar, right?"

She grinned and affirmed that I had been right about the songs being the same and told me she'd started writing it the morning she'd left her home in Oregon to come here. "There's something still missing from it, but it's almost finished," she added and gave a small shrug with her shoulders.

"It's beautiful. I mean it's really, really great. I wish I could write music. I'm lucky to know the few chords I do, you pretty much saw my best stuff the first day we met," I told her honestly, hoping it would help her realize how special her talent truly made her.

"Thanks, my grandfather started to teach me piano before I'd even learned to walk," she replied quietly, then shot me a grin. You could see how much she loved music just by watching her body relax when she played, no matter what the song, or the instrument she was on. Bella's eagerness for something she loved was contagious, and I instantly knew she truly was the inspiration I had been searching for.

"You come from a talented family, no doubt. Ready to head back to the grocery store?" I asked, not wanting to make her feel any more awkward by lingering on the moment. We had made good progress and I didn't want to push my luck.

She nodded, linking her arm through mine with a enhanced smile. "Yup, and I want to see you on this thing," she insisted furthering her smirk.

I laughed, then shook my head in defiance. "One day at a time, Bella. I bought the thing now give me some time to get on it," I requested, avoiding her stare.

"Alright, I'll give you a few days, but I'm warning you, I won't hesitate to start calling you a pussy if push comes to shove," she warned in return, then hit my ass playfully with her bag before I could open the van door for her.

Yup, I was definitely making progress, and progress was good.

_Keep it up, Cullen, and by tonight you may be back in her good graces, as well as back between her legs._

I smiled at my one track thinking and nodded to myself in response, then closed the door to her side of the van.

"So, do you have a name for it?" she asked, catching me off guard as I slid into my own seat.

"Excuse me?" For a moment, I thought she was talking about something else and almost shared a little too much information about myself. "Oh! The skateboard! I don't know, I'll have to wait and see if it_ talks_ to me," I told her with a wink that made her smile again and look out her window silently.

"Yeah, that's what I do, too, but with Jane it was different. I knew the moment I held her in my hands."

"Love at first touch, huh?" I toyed, bringing a shade of pink to her cheeks again.

"You could say that."

"Yeah, I think I know that feeling," I admitted, then felt like a total douche bag.

_No, you did not just say that? And it's on fucking camera?_

She laughed sarcastically and gave me a playful shove, thankfully taking my remark as a joke, and I felt myself relax a little.

_You're lucky seventy-five percent of what comes out of your mouth sounds like sarcasm, Cullen._

_Just saying._

That small fact was both a flaw and a Godsend sometimes.

* * *

During dinner that night, we'd all decided we would head over to Volturi's Crook to check out their Open Mic Night. Rose had been battling a wicked hangover all day, but had ultimately agreed to join the rest of us when we'd made it our mission to get Bella up onstage with her guitar. Part of me couldn't help but wonder if that was to show her support while she was on stage, or if she wanted to see if she'd choke in front of a crowd.

Once we got to the bar, Bella and Alice made their way to a back booth while the rest of the gang immediately headed to get their drinks from the servers in the back. I scanned the room and decided Alice had been right. This was a decent little place, and I could definitely see why they had chosen it to be our new regular hang out spot. The cages in the corners at the back of the room, along with the polls in the center and along the bar tops, had definite promise for some interesting and entertaining moments, especially with the way my housemates liked to drink.

"Yo, Edward, what are you having?" Emmett asked, breaking my thoughts after ribbing me in the side.

"Um, whatever they have on tap, and I'll bring Bella a Vodka and Red Bull," I spoke up, looking past my housemate at the guy who was currently serving my friends.

"Glad to see your gang back so soon, where's my favorite reality TV girl at?" the tattooed urchin enquired with a grin that I wanted to smack off his face.

"Bella? She's already sitting down, we're trying to talk her into playing a song for us tonight, so I think she's feeling a bit anti-social at the moment," Emmett informed him with a chuckle.

This must have been the guy Alice and Tanya had mentioned earlier. The one that tried to take Bella home last night after only just meeting her.

_So what, Cullen, you had her screaming your name after only hours of meeting her yourself, _an evil voice carelessly reminded me in the back of my head.

"Hi, I'm Aro. I don't think we met last night," the guy offered up with an extended hand after giving me my drinks.

"Edward, nice to meet you. Yeah, I stayed in so I missed out," I replied just above a low grunt, then took my drinks to make my way back towards Bella, knowing what I was holding in my hand would help her relax. I also didn't need to stick around to listen to this Aro guy continue to try and get information from Emmett about the girl I'd already made my own mission.

I didn't want the housemates pushing her to do something she wasn't ready to do, but I was also really hoping we could get her up on the small stage tonight so that we could see what she had in her. I had a feeling it would be pretty phenomenal.

I had a feeling everything she did would be phenomenal.

_Jesus fuck, she's just a girl who's playing hard to get. Stop treating her like she's some wild animal looking to be captured, mounted, tamed and placed on your mantel._

"For you," I offered, sliding her favorite drink towards her across the table. She was rocking in her seat nervously, while scanning the crowd in the bar. There was probably a good fifty or sixty people here this evening, and there was already someone setting up on stage looking to take the mic.

"Thanks," she mumbled. I watched as she gulped down the mixed drink in seconds and slammed the glass down in front of her with a sexy growl. "More please," she requested bashfully, then pleaded playfully by folding her hands at her chest in prayer.

I laughed and shook my head at her before taking the empty bar glass from the table to go fetch us both another round.

If she was going to gulp 'em back like that, then I was going to keep up.

"Why so nervous? I thought you were used to playing in front of people?" I asked, smiling, once I'd returned with her refill.

Thankfully, I'd gotten to deal with a different bartender this time, though I'd already spotted Aro eyeing Bella from across the room, no doubt trying to establish some creepy eye contact to let her know he was already picturing what it would be like to fuck her from behind.

_Prick._

"I am, but I'd always had all my guys with me, you know… there as moral support… and I've really only ever played in front of crowds of less than twenty people, where half the audience consisted of people I'd known since I was in diapers," she confessed quietly without looking up at me.

It was cute to see her show some insecurity. It made her seem more human… less flawless and definitely breakable.

"I'm sure you'll be amazing, just play something you could play in your sleep," I suggested, then squeezed her leg with my hand from under the table. She jumped at my touch, but smiled up at me with her crooked grin and sparkling eyes. That smile made me want to touch other things, but our moment was unfortunately interrupted after Tanya appeared at our table notifying Bella that the _cute_ bartender would like to see her.

"Oh, um, okay, I'll finish this drink first so I have more of a reason to head over there," Bella answered, glancing in his direction and shaking her partially full glass in the air towards him, signaling she had a little ways to go.

"He's so hot, Bella, you guys would have gorgeous babies! Seriously!"

I looked at Tanya as though she'd just announced that Bella was next in line to be crowned Queen Of the Dirt Bag Fuckers and snickered under my breath before taking a gulp from my beer.

"Oh, shut up, Tanya. There will be no babies in my future."

My Rock Star's comeback made me smile. I loved a girl who knew how to put people in their place when they were talking out of their ass.

Even if it was a flawless ass.

Tanya giggled just as I felt something slide up my leg. It didn't take me long to realize it was our strawberry blonde roommate's stiletto that was doing the sliding.

"So, what are you going to play?" I asked, bringing the conversation back to Bella so Tanya would ease up on the advances. It was still too early for that, and I had other things on my mind at the moment.

"A cover, I think. I don't know, though. I think I'd feel a lot better about it if I wasn't going up there alone," she replied with a sigh, before downing the last of her second drink.

"I'm sure you'll be amazing, whatever you play," I promised just as another interruption appeared at my side.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer and this is my bar, so I decided to take my break now," Aro informed our table, then slid into the seat across from us beside Tanya. "How's your drink?" he asked, then placed a freshly filled glass in front of her.

"Delicious, thanks," Bella answered with a shy smile that I didn't like.

"And what will you be playing for me tonight?" he asked further, still grinning at her like she was some piece of meat ready to be pounced on.

I was surprised to notice my fists bawled up at my sides now. It didn't take me long to realize I was working extra hard to keep from opening my mouth and inserting my foot by declaring my caveman-like feelings towards the girl who'd already made it clear that titles scared the shit out of her.

_Keep your cool, Cullen. No need to make a fool of yourself for all the world to see._

"I don't know, I was just telling Edward I'd feel much better about this if I had someone up there with me. Do you play, Aro? Want to do something together?" she asked sweetly, then shot him a wink, and my nails dug deeper into my palms.

"I can play just about anything, and I'd love to do lots of things, _together,_" he answered with a returned smirk. She laughed lightly, then responded by telling him she didn't doubt that. He grinned further and asked her if she had something in mind, musically, that she'd like to share with him.

I couldn't help it. I coughed, feeling repulsed by the scene that had just played out in front of me and brought my beer to my lips to take back another gulp, hoping to hide my sneer.

"Do you know any Straylight Run?"

"Yup, pick your song, beautiful, and I'll back you up," he answered. My glass was at my lips again, and I gulped down the chilled liquid till it was completely empty, so I had an excuse to escape the torture at our table without seeming annoyed or bothered.

I could hardly believe she was really into this guy, and I refused to admit that he posed as any threat to me. But it was obvious she held some kind of interest in the dirt bag, and I needed to take action and play another round before he got too deep into his own game.

When I'd returned to the table, Aro was helping Bella from her seat by taking her hand and then her guitar into his other hand. She informed me that she was having a shot at the bar then taking the stage, and she expected me to be front and center.

I nodded with a forced smile, while doing my best to ignore the sight of her hand still in Aro's as they walked past me up to the bar together. I continued to watch, like the masochist I apparently was, as she leaned against the oak bar top, kicking her leg back behind her playfully just as his arm slid across her hip. She laughed over something he'd whispered in her ear and took the shot glass another bartender had poured for her, kicking it back at her lips. I felt my insides ache even more while his hand lingered over the curve of her back, bringing her closer against him, and he gestured with his other hand towards the female bartender to fill her glass again.

She was talking manically with her hands while they most likely discussed what they would do on stage together. I was served another distraction thanks to Tanya's heel finding its way back up into my lap.

"Why don't you come sit beside me, Edward, I'm feeling a little chilly, maybe you could help warm me up?" she requested with a grin. I smiled and nodded my head, having never passed up an opportunity before to have my hands on a gorgeous woman, so why would I start now? Especially when the thing I wanted most was flaunting her own flirtatious behavior right in front of me. Two could play at this game, and she'd soon learn her lesson of that.

The awful act on stage finally finished their rendition of some unfamiliar country song and I stole another glance at Bella, who had apparently caught me cuddling up with Tanya, because she was now throwing poorly hidden daggers in my direction. Once our eyes met, though, she shook herself free from our stare and redirected her attention to her little bar buddy who was still hovering beside her.

I watched them take the stage together and whispered into Tanya's ear that if she kept traveling her hand any further north I couldn't be blamed for what she might stir up.

"That's the point, silly," she replied slyly, and I grinned in response while taking her mischievous hand into mine to keep it tamed at the table top, not wanting to start something that couldn't be finished given the circumstances.

"Come on, let's go stand by the stage," I suggested to everyone, much to Tanya's disappointment, but I knew I needed an escape.

I grinned like a proud father after noticing Jasper had taken a break from his camera duties to strike up a conversation with our girl Alice. I caught her attention and nodded towards the stage, signaling we were going to make our way towards the front. The rest of my housemates followed my lead and by the time Aro was talking on the mic, we'd all managed to make it to the front of the decent size crowd.

"Hey, hey, you all know me. I'm no stranger to this stage, but I'd like to introduce you to the angel that will be gracing us with her presence for the next few months, thanks to all you reality television loving freaks. This is my new friend Bella. She's a little shy, so for her first time on our stage we're going to do a little duet, a cover from one of our shared favorite bands. I'm sure it won't be the last thing we share, ay?" The crowd laughed sarcastically while I watched him shoot my Rock Star a wink where she stood in front of her mic beside him under the dim stage lights. "Anyways, it's by Straylight Run and titled Buttoned Down. Please save your applause for the end because I know you're all about to be thoroughly impressed. Oh! And remember, I saw her first, so respect." He warned into the mic, then strummed his own guitar lightly before setting into the song,

"What it was wasn't my fault.

If I would have known,

but who could have known?

Cameras and the kids,

the candids and the kindling,

were fighting them off.

They've done it again,"

I was still fuming over his warning of having seen her first and to respect, wondering what exactly he'd meant by that, when Bella opened her mouth to join him in their song. Her fingers ran across her guitar strings, carefully following his lead and I was able to quickly forgot about the douche bag that was standing beside her, thankfully.

"What did her friends say?

Who was in involved?

I'll call it all off.

'Cause I should have known but,

Who could have- know-ow-own?

Who could have- know-ow-own?

The needles, the space.

Time can't erase,

And buttoned down you'll get the best of me.

The thrill of-it-all.

The rise and the fall

Buttoned down you'll get the best of me."

Aro broke off into another vocal solo while Bella continued to strum her guitar in front of her, grinning at him while he smiled back in her direction, singing his parts of the song and randomly strumming his own guitar. I'm not sure what came over me, but I found my eyes scanning my surroundings for something to throw at him. Bella's voice broke my mission, though, and I was quickly able to relax myself, thanks to the sounds that were currently leaving her lips while she sang along, closing her eyes while her head bopped back and forth with the beat of the music.

"What did they make you?

What do you know?

We've done it again-again-again.

Now we'll let you in but we should have know-ow-own,

we should have know-ow-owen.

The needles the space.

Time can't erase and buttoned down,

you'll get the best of me.

The thrill of it all the rise and the fall.

Buttoned down you'll get the best of me-,

Now buttoned down,

you'll get the best of me."

Bella continued to hum softly into the mic in front of her while the song came to an end. She immediately smiled down at me with both pride and relief clearly on her face. For a few moments, the bar was dead silent just before it broke out into cheers and shouts for an encore.

"I told you you'd love her, I think that's all she's willing to share of herself for tonight. Come back next week, and I promise I'll have talked her into giving us some more!" Aro spoke into the mic, then pulled Bella into him for a tight hug before they both stepped off the stage together, laughing.

"Wow, she's pretty good, huh?" Alice asked, looking a bit star struck.

"Yup, impressive." I mumbled back, watching Bella and Aro continue to talk together while she put Jane away in her carrying case.

She was more than impressive, I knew that, but the sight of her laughing and smiling with someone else was making it hard to appreciate everything I had just seen.

"And he is so freaking dreamy. I bet they'll fuck before the night's over," Tanya declared, leaning into me with a hiccup.

"Oh, quiet, woman! Bella has more class than that. That guy is obviously trying to get in her pants. Our girl is gonna wanna play hard to get with that one. Just you watch," James spoke up before turning around to head back to our table. He'd been so quiet all day, I'd almost forgotten about his existence, but he'd obviously been paying close attention tonight.

I inwardly hoped he was right, and made my way back to the bar for another round of beer. It was going to be a long night, and I needed to get my drinking in so I'd be able to pass out tonight in a drunken fog. I needed to avoid any lingering memories of Bella smiling with the all-I-want-to-do-is-fuck bartender buddy of hers while they'd sung together on stage, and alcohol seemed like my best and only option in order to get that done.

* * *

A few hours had passed, and the rest of our housemates had taken off back home, leaving me at the bar to keep an eye on Bella and her new bar friends. Aro had spent the night trying to impress her with his back country stories, but no matter what he threw at her, she seemed to shoot him down at every calculated advance. That's what had made it all bearable and what had also allowed me to warm up to the guy. He wasn't all bad, and in any other situation I could see us getting along great.

_At least James had been right about Bella playing hard to get for a little while longer with her new friend._

Around four a.m., when closing time had arrived, she finally caved and told me she was ready to head home after mumbling in my ear that the room was starting to wobble a little.

"Well, I don't know why that would be, you've only ingested the equivalent of an entire bottle of Grey Goose all on your own tonight, Bella," I teased while helping her up from her seat.

"Why don't you guys come back to my place?" Aro asked. "Some of the guys always come over, and we play a few hands of poker and jam a little. You're more than welcome to join us. I mean, since the cameras went home and all. I can't say everything we do there is legal."

"No, no, not tonight. 'Tis time for me to sa-sleep," Bella stuttered while leaning into me with a light giggle. I'd managed to catch up to her pretty well in the drinking department, but I was still able to function a little more smoothly. So I, too, insisted it was time for us to call to a night. I knew we'd most likely be back tomorrow because Bella had already found her second home here at Aro's drinking establishment. That was more than obvious now that she was on a first name basis with most of the patrons.

It was a apparently in her blood, and she needed a place like this to make her feel at home. Yes, she'd managed to admit that to me during one of her many drunken rants this evening, and I'd found it both absolutely adorable and eye opening.

Aro walked us out and asked if I'd need any help getting her inside when we got back to the house, which resulted in him getting a tongue lashing from Bella over his concern.

"I am not _that_ drunk, you guys, Jesus. I am still walking, aren't I? Still standing on two feet?" she insisted, crossing her arms in front of her with a slight wobble to her left. Aro and I both laughed in unison till he impulsively grabbed her by the waist and brought her up against him just a few feet away from me.

My teeth clenched together, and I looked away when he cupped her face in his hands and brought his mouth to hers, kissing her goodnight right there in front of me.

"Till next time, beautiful. I never thought I'd like reality television, but you've definitely changed my opinion of it. Get her home safe, Edward. See you soon, Bella." I was seeing red while I watched her watch him walk away, with her mouth hanging open. I rolled my eyes after she giggled lightly and touched her lips with a soft moan.

"Nice," I mumbled out loud without meaning too. She looked over, suddenly remembering she wasn't alone and glared at me with a carefully hidden playful expression. A slight smile spread across my lips over the sight of the signature bird she was now shooting in my direction. I shook my head to myself before sliding into the back of the cab that would take us home and instructed the driver on where we were heading, then buckled Bella into her seat belt. She'd apparently developed some very bad habits during her up bringing, and the seat belt thing was already getting on my nerves.

"You take such good care of me, Edward," she mumbled sleepily, while leaning her head against my shoulder with a sigh.

"It seems to be an automatic reaction," I confessed and leaned my own head into hers, while her hand took mine into her lap.

"Thanks for sticking with me tonight, it's nice not going home alone. Jake used to always stick back to Bella-sit too."

"I wasn't _Bella-sitting_. I just wasn't ready to go home. Who's Jake?" I asked, changing the subject slightly to the more comfortable topic of the two.

"My best friend back home, I thought I told you about him."

"Oh, right, yeah. Best friend, huh, so does that mean you'd call me a _friend_ now?" I pushed smugly. She laughed and squeezed my hand again.

"You're climbing that hill, Mr. M&M." she confessed quietly. I smirked at the revelation that she'd developed a nickname for me and instantly knew I'd indeed made good progress with her over the last forty-eight hours.

"Do I even want to know what that stands for?" I couldn't help but ask. I was dying to know, but I knew she'd never fill me in. Not yet.

"It's a secret, I have to have a few." she insisted, then kicked the cab door open with the heel of her shoe. I quickly paid the man and made my way around the back of the car to catch up with her. She was messing with her key in the door when I was back at her side, and I knew I'd only have a few minutes with her downstairs before she'd head up to bed and pass out. I needed to make my move. If my competition got a damn kiss tonight, I wasn't going to bed without same kind of attention of my own.

I stood in the entry way, at the foot of the stairs that would take us up to our bedroom, and watched silently while she set her guitar case against the wall. She extended her arms out at her sides limply when the camera light clicked on above the door.

_And- Action._

"I guess I'm going to go change for bed," she was hesitating, so I took that as my cue, she wasn't exactly ready to retire for the night either.

"Want to hit the Confessional Room first? Tape a little recap of our evening?" I suggested, smiling. She grinned almost immediately and nodded her head yes, then took my hand back into hers so we could quietly climb the stairs together up to the attic.

She giggled as we rounded past the bedrooms where the rest of our housemates had passed out, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief over the discovery that we were, without a doubt, the only ones awake in the house.

I was leaving all possibilities open and shooting for the stars once we got upstairs. To just have her in my lap while we talked on the camera would be a huge success in my eyes.

As soon as we entered the room, the automatic lights switched on, and the camera light flashed green, letting us know it had also been activated.

We took our places on the love seat, and she smiled at me with a shrug of her shoulders before asking me to start things off. I rolled my eyes and nodded my head in return, then redirected my gaze towards the lens to offer a greeting. Bella snuggled herself further against me, draping my arm around her side without hesitation.

"Evening. Seems Bella and I are the only two true partiers in this house."

"Yup, he was on Bella-sitting duty tonight," she interpreted with a sarcastic sigh, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I was not Bella-sitting, woman, get over it."

"Right, right, Cullen, keep telling yourself that," she toyed and squeezed my knee with her hand playfully. I rolled my eyes again, then offered the camera a quick, 'whatever' before continuing with my recap of what it had been like to see Bella on stage tonight.

"I had no idea, I mean I knew you could play, but I had no idea you could sing like that," I insisted, making her blush and look away bashfully.

"That was nothing, all I did was sing back up," she insisted, but I wouldn't let her self herself short.

"Nonsense, you were amazing up there, I can't wait for the next show," I told her, smiling while I watched her fiddle with the dreads she had collected into a bundle in front of her left shoulder.

"Well, if it weren't so late, you might be able to talk me into playing an encore for you, but I don't think we need to wake up the entire house," she reminded me with a smile. After about thirty seconds I realized we'd both forgotten about the camera and had been smiling at only one another in silence when she coughed nervously, breaking my stare from her very edible lips.

"Another time, then," I whispered softly, then brushed her arm with my finger before moving myself closer to her. She looked away nervously and continued to talk about what it had been like to play in front of a room of mostly strangers. She explained it as being an exhilarating high, one that she couldn't wait to experience again, and I had to ruin the moment by bringing up her newest and biggest fan. She got quiet at first, but then stated again it had been fun, and that Aro was a very talented musician and she felt lucky to have met him.

"Yeah, it was something watching you sing like that to some guy you just met. Such passion. So what's the deal with Aro? You're into guys like that? Someone you can share your makeup with?" I asked, trying my best to sound as casual as I could, before mentally slapping myself upside the head.

_Why must you enjoy torturing yourself? And way to be a catty fuck. Did you grow a vagina? Commenting on the guys style? Really?_

"Why, Edward, we're not jealous are we? And who says I was singing to him, maybe I was singing to someone else. _Perhaps_ you should have listened to the lyrics a bit more carefully," she teased almost instantly, then tugged on my t-shirt with a suggestive grin appearing on her face.

"Pft, jealous? Hardly. Just surprised you'd fall for the home town wannabe city boy with overly used pick up lines and bad eyeliner. _Perhaps_ I'll Google the lyrics tomorrow when I'm able to functionally use a computer again," I grunted while my fingers traced her individual digits that were now resting on my knee again.

"Aw, you're cute when you're jealous. Keep it up, I quite like this look on you," she toyed further, and I felt the grin cross my lips just before I admitted that the way things ended tonight had not been very fair in my eyes. "Why's that?" she asked, sitting up straighter so she could turn to face me and reconnect with my eyes.

"Well you see, Rock Star, when I saw him take you like this," I explained, pulling her up against me without giving her a second to move away. "And when he brought your chin up like this," I added, tilting her lips up towards mine, with her eyes now looking deeply into my own. She still wasn't moving away, and I smiled, realizing it was safe to continue. "And when he did this," I whispered almost silently, just before bringing my lips down to rest against hers. She pressed herself against my chest, still without pushing me away. Her arms instantly wrapped themselves around my neck, while her body straddled mine almost frantically in the chair that we still shared.

Our mouths continued to move against one another at a feverish pace until she directed her teeth to my ear lobe, nibbling gently down my neck, while her breathing picked up its pace with every motion her hands made over my chest and in my hair.

"Fuck, I can't be around you when I have liquor in me," she breathed heavily after pushing herself back to catch her breath and regain her composure.

I wasn't sure what had come over her, but I'd definitely both enjoyed it and needed it to continue.

"You won't get any complaints from me, I'm not too proud to take Aro's sloppy seconds," I insisted, bringing her back up against me to reconnect our lips. She didn't pull away, and before long, we found ourselves pressed up against the wall in the corner of the room. Her body grinding my throbbing cock from the outside of my jeans, while our hands pulled at each others clothing almost desperately.

"Let's get one thing straight, he had _your_ sloppy seconds, which is what makes _you_ the dangerous one here, Edward," she replied, suddenly removing herself from me again but keeping her hand pressed against my chest affectionately.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, squinting my eyes at her.

I'd been called a lot of things in my life but never dangerous.

"I can handle Aro, he's just like all the boys I know back home. You though… you're different, and different makes me nervous. Different makes me keep my guard up because I'm not sure what to expect. I don't like not being able to expect things. I need to be able to expect things, get it?"

"So, finally, you admit I'm flawed and already at a disadvantage because I make you crave something you've never had before?" I asked, trying to understand the drunken nonsense she was trying to feed me.

"In so many words, yes," she continued running her fingers in my hair and let the back of her hand smooth itself down my cheek while she looked up into my eyes. "That doesn't make this hopeless though, but I'm drunk, so whatever I'm saying right now can't really, actually, be held up in court," she added with a giggle, then closed her eyes and collapsed herself back against my chest while I held her to me. Within seconds, I felt her body go completely limp and realized she'd passed out in my arms.

I sighed and lifted her up to cradle her against me so I could bring her down the flight of stairs to put her to bed. After slipping her shoes off and pulling the sweater from her body so she'd be more comfortable in her tank top and leggings, I kneeled down beside the bed and pulled the covers up under her chin to tuck her in and smooth her hair back from her face.

She stirred for a moment, then yawned quietly before pulling the covers further up against her.

"Thank you for taking care of me, M&M," she whispered with a slight smile, and a truer grin spread across my own face at my returned secret nickname.

"Like I said, it seems to be an automatic reaction," I whispered back. I kissed the top of her head before turning to climb under my own covers, so I could relive the most recent kiss we'd just shared over and over again in my certifiably pussy whipped dreams.

* * *

**A/N: So there it is... he seems to be just as smitten but more willing to take the dive. What's keeping Bella from doffing her damn ACCP? What do you think shes running from? How long will it take for her to give in and just accept that its going to be impossible to keep Edward away?**

**I'm hoping to have weekly updates with the next two chapters, since they're pretty much done. So fingers crossed for that. I'm also hoping I didn't lose too many of you with the Aro/Bella - Edward/Tanya moments. Again, I promise to only pay real attention to the E/B Citrus throughout the story.**

**Big hugs again to my beta clarabella75**

**Make sure you check out my profile for two new manips Lolypop82 has made for IRL. I've also updated the blog with pictures from this chapter, as well as photo's of Tanya and Aro. Thanks so much for reading and a very happy birthday to my dear friend _XHellokitty99X. *heart*_**

**_Also _TMT is now complete with the epi.**

***Please Review. It will make me smile.***

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**~~~**From this point on you can find the outtakes written for each chapter in one of the last 3 "chapter"s posted for this story.**~~~ **


	6. To Hump Or Not To Hump

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Okay we're back. For those who received the BPOV from the last chapter, I hope I didn't mess up, and I hope you got both PM's. If not let me know so I can fix that. This chapter earns it's M rating thanks to some slight citrus, a bit of cuss'in, and a splash of slash. *wink***

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**To Hump Or Not To Hump, That Is The Question**

**Chapter 6**

**~~*Bella*~~**

_Edward's lips were on mine , but all I could think about was having more than just his mouth on me. I couldn't pull him close enough once I'd torn his shirt from his body, and the more I guided his lips over mine the deeper I lost myself to his kiss._

_For once, the camera's were gone, and we were free to lose ourselves without concern for public outcry over what was surely about to take place between the two of us._

_I wanted to feel all of him, and I intended on achieving just that as I playfully began removing his pants with my teeth. He eyed my naked body with a grin and stepped out, away from the loose fitting jeans, and kicked them across the room. He quickly doffed his boxers to send them in the same direction. I stared at his massiveness for a few moments so I could fully appreciate what he was about to massage my insides with, moaning lowly over the sight of its firmness. I reached out to take it in my hands. Once my grasp was firmly placed around his perfect cock, I turned my body to mount it from behind, facing my back towards him. I was craving the chance to pump it with my palm in front of me a few times before bending forward to grant him the entry he needed and I was longing for._

_"Are you ready, Rock Star?" his voice asked from behind me, his hands taking my hips to draw me forward in front of him as I extended my arm out to prop myself against the wall. His right hand made its way between my thighs to spread my legs further apart, and I moaned when his fingertip teased my throbbing clit._

_"I've been ready," my hungry voice answered back. I turned my head so I could look up into his eyes, while he rocked himself forward slowly, sliding his cock between my legs, wanting me to feel every last inch of him as he entered my slick opening. I moaned on cue, feeling him begin to move himself in and out, his hands holding me with care, while my body quaked over every movement he made._

"_Fu-_" I started to shout, but something broke my happiness like a needle to a goddamn balloon.

It was morning, and I was awake. I moaned lowly while stretching my arms out in front of me, before I'd even bothered to fully reopen my eyes.

It had all been a dream, and I'd no doubt been talking in my sleep.

Because that's what I do.

I talk in my sleep, and I tell all my secrets. At least that's what my friends back home used to accuse me of. I'd thought I'd had it under control. After a few counseling sessions with Dr. Banner, I'd managed to go two months without having a vivid dream, but that run had just ended thanks to Mr. Magic Mouth and his supremely talented dream fucking.

I peeked through one open eyelid and slowly scanned the room. After discovering it empty, I sat up in my bed and took in a deep breath before falling back down against the pillows to rub my eyes and settle my breathing.

The dream I'd just experienced had been intense. More than intense… that was my first ever female version of a wet dream, and I literally felt as though he'd just been inside of me thanks to the way my body was still tingling and twitching under the sheets.

_Unbelievable._

I touched my mouth just in time for the memories of last night to wash over me.

Singing on stage in front of strangers, singing with Aro. Kissing Aro. Kissing Aro in front of Edward. Edward kissing me. Me kissing Edward back. My apparent ability to pass out in Edward's arms while silently confessing to myself that I was in big trouble because of the way I was kissing Edward.

_Christ, well at least you kept your ACCP's on, Swan._

"Me and my damn ACCP's," I groaned out loud before rolling over to face the window.

"You're alive. That's a good sign. What's an A-C-C-P?"

I immediately sat back up and pulled my pillow in front of my body, as though to shield myself from him and his magical sexified powers.

_Lame. He's not really dangerous, you were being your usual hypothetical drunken self last night, stupid girl. He can't physically hurt you._

_No, only emotionally._

_Shut-UP!_

"Nothing. What time is it?" I asked groggily, while doing my best to ignore the psychotic banter in my head.

He smiled at my question and ran his hand slowly through his hair, "Almost two," he answered, and I felt my jaw drop.

"In the afternoon? Jesus! Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, panicked after being informed that half the day was already gone. I'd probably be portrayed in some kind of coma induced sleep montage when this episode aired on television, and that thought alone was already starting my day out on the shittier side of things.

"You were sleeping so soundly, we figured you needed the rest. Especially after the night you had," he replied, still grinning at me as though he had more to say.

"Stop smiling at me like that," I warned, getting ready to chuck my pillow in his direction.

"Sorry, I'll behave. Everyone's gone out, it's just me and you, I was wondering if you'd want to come watch me fall on my ass while you play some music for me outside?"

I felt a smile creep across my own face realizing what he was asking of me. He was ready to stand on his board, and he wanted me there with him. I nodded my head immediately in response and threw my comforter back to get out of bed so I could get dressed and finally start my day.

"There's a place a few blocks away, an old abandoned building the kid from the skateboard shop told me about. If you're up to it, I thought we could walk that way?"

"Totally, lets do this." I answered, then turned my back to him so I could tug my top up over my head before pulling on a fresh oversized flannel and pair of bright leggings. He whistled playfully as I pulled the spandex material of the pair I'd been put to bed in down past my ankles, so I quickly turned to fling them in his direction before rolling my eyes and reminding him to behave. "You've seen more of me in a bathing suit." I reminded him with a forced glare.

"I've seen more of you from under that comforter, _Rock Star_," he threw back, then ducked from the pair of socks I chucked at him in retaliation. "Okay, okay. I'll go wait downstairs. Hurry up. I want to head out before they get back so no one asks to tag along. I don't need a full audience just yet."

I nodded my head and shooed him away, then went into the bathroom to sit up on the sink and apply some makeup.

One look in the mirror, and I realized what he must have been smiling about. My hair was a mess and in desperate need of some maintenance , but I didn't have time for that this morning. He would just have to deal with seeing me all lioness-ish because it would be impossible to tame the mess currently on top of my head in only a few minutes.

It was obvious I'd done a lot of tossing and turning last night in my bed. I sighed, remembering I'd more than likely embarrassed myself beyond belief with my subconscious ramblings. Quickly, I smoothed my hair back to tie it behind my back, then brushed my teeth and made my way downstairs for my second solo outing with Mr. Magic Mouth.

All I could do was pray he'd avoid giving me too many of his, _'I want to touch you' _stares.

I couldn't handle those looks. Those looks were what had slowly torn down my wall to the point where I finally had to straddle him and attack his face in my drunken state before passing out last night.

"Ready?" I asked once I found him in the kitchen chatting it up with Jasper, who had set his camera down on the breakfast bar. "Aw, man are you coming, too?" I teased, having already expected someone to chaperone.

"Don't act so broken hearted," he joked back , then lifted his camera back up onto his shoulder and shushed me by placing his finger over his mouth.

"Alright let's head out," Edward spoke up, jumping from his bar stool to grab his skateboard from the against the counter. He tossed me my helmet, then made his way to the living room to grab a large paper grocery bag, which he instantly tossed my way. Thankfully I'd just set Jane's case down beside my feet so my arms were free to catch what he had thrown my way. "I made a little stop this morning, picked up something else for you," he started to explain as I peeked into the brown bag.

"A skateboard? What, are you afraid you've gotten so rusty that you'll break that one before the afternoon is over?" I teased spinning the wheels in front of me.

"It's slightly used. The kid at the store let me have it if I promised to come in and do a demo before we wrap in October."

"Okay, so?"

"It's for you," he finally informed me, and I instantly lost my self to laughter.

"Right, why? Do you want me killed that badly?" I asked between my laughs.

"I won't let anything happen to you, you just have to trust me," he insisted, then gestured towards the door.

"How am I supposed to trust you when you don't even trust yourself yet?" I shot back with a slight glare. He smirked and nodded his head, not wanting to admit out loud I was right.

"Okay, that's fair. Let's just go and see what happens?" he suggested. I bit my bottom lip, then took in a deep breath and slid the skateboard under my arm, before looping the helmet strap through the strap of Jane's case.

All I could do was hope for the best.

The best being that he'd chicken out for at least another day so I'd have time to devise a better theory on why I should not be trusted on something that had four wheels and moved. I didn't even drive a car for Christ's sakes. Why he thought I should stand on a skateboard was beyond me.

* * *

When we got to the old worn down building, I smiled realizing it was a skateboarder's wet dream. It appeared to be an old academy, and in the back was an empty cement pool, perfect for dropping in on.

"This was apart of a military school. Did you know the Citadel is here in Charleston? I had no idea," he explained after taking my hand into his to lead me towards a concrete bench a few feet away from the empty pool.

"The big time military college?" I asked, smiling down at his hand in mine.

_Why are you smiling? Stop smiling. It's just a hand._

It was nice though, to just have a regular conversation with him for once, but I was surprised by how much more nervous it seemed to make me feel. Especially now that I was sober again.

"Yup, that explains all the uniforms around town, huh?" he asked, smiling down at me again.

I looked away, feeling embarrassed by his grin, and nodded my head in response, then set the skateboard he'd given me in my lap so I could kick my legs up into a criss-cross position.

"So, baby steps, right, Mr. Cullen? Why don't you first just sit here with me and put your feet on the board?" I teased, trying to sound all therapeutic-like.

I quickly took note that Jasper was standing about twenty feet away, with his camera at his eye pointed in our direction.

"Good looking out," Edward joked, then dropped his board down in front of him and slid it back and forth under his noticeably large feet.

_Of course they're large, you've seen his cock woman, and that ain't nothing to fuck with._

_Actually, its more than enough to fuck with._

_What are you saying? FOCUS!_

"Not so bad, right?" I asked casually, after spinning the wheels on my own board and looking away to scan the rest of our surroundings.

"Not bad at all."

"Is this really the first time you've had your feet on a skateboard since your fall?"

"No, I've gotten this far before, and I've gone in a straight line on a piece of sidewalk that had grass at both sides," he laughed, then kicked the board up to catch it with his hand in front of him. "Okay, enough chit chat, if I'm going to do this it needs to be done the same way I'd rip off a bandage."

"Which you should also have plenty of practice with," I teased, bumping his shoulder, then set my own skateboard off to the side so I could get Jane out from her case. My fingers were twitching to play, which was something they always did when I started to feel nervous thanks to sobriety.

"Any requests?" I asked, smiling before looking up to see him already grinning down at me.

"Nope, whatever you want is fine. Maybe something slow to start off? The song you played in the music store yesterday, that'd be good," he suggested before standing up to walk a few feet away from me with his board back in his hand. I watched him toss it down and jump onto its base with both feet, sending him forward in an almost natural way. He looked completely at ease for someone who was apparently terrified to return to the thing which had landed him in the hospital for months.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed, trying to hide my smirk.

"What?"

"I forgot all my little gold star stickers," I teased, and he laughed sarcastically in response.

"Maybe you could find another way to reward me?" he suggested, rolling by me with ease and a seriously contagious grin. I guarded my eyes and shook my head with a quiet laugh.

"Perhaps. If you really impress me, you'll get lucky," I answered without looking back up at him. I began strumming the strings of my guitar in front of me to play the untitled song I'd been working on and moved my body forward to the edge of the bench.

"Now, that's the kind of motivation I'm looking for, I knew I brought you along for a reason," he hollered back at me just before doing a kick flip in the air, landing it perfectly with another huge grin on his face.

I laughed to myself, seeing the pride already beaming from him over such a simple trick.

I already knew he was capable of doing much more on that thing, so to see him so excited over a basic maneuver… it was pretty heart warming.

_Kind of like watching Jake's little brother Seth open his gifts on Christmas morning._

_Meh, Jake. Way to ruin a moment, Swan._

I shook the unwelcome memory from my head and went back to strumming my guitar, while I continued to watch Edward weave in and out, around the pillars and rails located at the back of the school. He circled a basketball hoop, then made his way back over towards me about ten minutes later, seemingly out of breath and ready for a rest.

I tossed him a bottle of water and smirked at the sound of his rapid breathing, remembering what we had been doing the last time I'd heard him in such a state. I continued on my guitar while he took his turn watching me.

"You said your grandfather taught you how to play piano, who taught you guitar?"

"I pretty much started teaching myself when I was around twelve. My parents bought me a guitar when they'd come back from one of their excursions. They never actually expected me to pick it up, but I some how got it in my head if I learned to play they might actually want to stick around longer," I shared without thinking about the consequences.

"Your parents weren't around much?"

Yup, that was the follow up question I didn't want to have to answer.

"They were free spirits. They didn't like to be grounded anywhere for too long. I spent most of my childhood being casually raised by family friends, till I was eighteen. Then I got my own place."

"Why didn't you stay with your grandparents?" he asked, pushing further than I'd wished.

"I did, off and on till I was sixteen." I replied quickly, then started playing louder on my guitar, hoping he'd take the hint and change the subject.

"Okay, then. Well, I think I'm ready to give you your first lesson."

_Great, something else I'm not ready to hear._

_Just. Super. _

_It's okay, you can do this. It's all about protective extension. Body goes down, arms go out. That's simple enough. You. Can. Do. This._

I let out a sigh and put Jane down into her case, then stood up, stretching my arms out in front of me, and mocked a few lunges, bringing a laugh through his lips.

"So, was it like riding a bike?" I asked, pushing the skateboard back and forth under my own left foot while my right stayed grounded on the cement floor underneath us.

"Yup, I just needed the push to get back on it again. So… thank you for that."

"Pft, I never pushed."

"Maybe you don't think you did, but you definitely inspired me," he answered while placing his hands at my hips to steady me, before prompting that it was safe to put both of my feet up onto the unstable surface.

"Stop saying that," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks flush over his undeserved compliment. He began moving me forward, and I felt my body immediately lose its balance, but he kept me in place with his hands at my sides, chuckling lightly to himself.

"You weren't kidding about your lack of balance were you?"

"Shut it," I warned, then placed my own hands over his to ensure they wouldn't go anywhere.

"Okay, which foot is your favorite?" he asked stopping me for a moment.

"I should have a favorite foot?" This was news to me.

"Yes," he laughed again.

God, I love that laugh. His laugh alone could convince me to do just about anything. Hence the flashing danger sign that hung over his head.

"I guess I'd have to say my right one?" I replied, then patted my leg with my hand lightly, almost losing my balance again with just that slight movement.

"Okay, so right foot stays on the board and your left is going to push off the ground. I'll keep my hands here. You won't fall, I swear it. Trust me, Bella."

"That's asking a lot from me, _Edward_."

"In what sense?" he teased, knowing I was talking about more than just our skateboarding lesson. How it was possible that he already seemed to know me as well as the guys I'd grown up with back home, and in only a few days time… it baffled me. It also scared the shit out of me.

I took in a deep breath and followed his instructions, doing my best to push myself past my nervousness and over the cement ground on my newly acquired skateboard.

Before I knew it, I was moving at a much faster pace, bringing my body forward towards the basketball hoop that was still a few yards away from us.

I was already preparing myself to smack straight into it.

"You're doing great, Bella," he assured me, his hands still glued to my sides while I kicked off the ground once more with a light giggle, his feet moving him beside me.

It was actually kind of fun, but I wasn't ready to admit that just yet. We were going at a pretty good speed when, all of a sudden, one of my wheels hit something, and I felt the board tip forward which automatically sent my arms out to catch my fall. I was surprised when I found myself being cradled safely in Edward's arms after he'd scooped me up, ultimately keeping his promise to keep me safe.

I laughed out loud after realizing I'd been holding my breath over the fear of falling face first, then looped my arms around his neck to thank him for being such a great safety belt.

"I promised, didn't I?" he asked, grinning down at me, then moved one of my smaller locks from my face to place it behind my shoulder. Our faces were inches apart again, and neither of us apparently knew what to say next, so we just stayed there, staring at one another like total morons till Jasper suddenly sneezed a few feet away from us. I'd totally forgotten he was even there, but I was already dreading seeing the footage he had just captured. Being graceful was not my forte, and he now had it on film.

"So you said I might get some kind of a reward if I conquered my fear today, right?" he asked with a slight hint of bashfulness in his own voice.

I smirked and rolled my eyes at his question. "Doing circles around a basketball court is hardly conquering your fear when I know you're capable of so much more, Mr. _Pro-Skateboarder_," I scoffed while loosening my grip around his neck, before instructing him it was safe to set me down on my own two feet again.

He sighed and followed my request but kept his arms wrapped around my hips so I'd stay where I was.

"If I drop in on the pool? Would that be enough? It was, after all, a lip trick on the halfpipe that took me out," he pointed out trying to hide the nervousness over his own suggestion.

_Am I evil enough to push him past his comfort zone so soon? What will I do if he actually hurts himself?_

_You'd probably sleep with him in order to make it up to him you silly procrastitute._

_Well, that wouldn't be so bad, would it?_

_Shut it, woman!_

I slapped myself mentally upside the head, then let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't want you to do anything you're not ready to do. I'd feel an incredible amount of guilt if you got hurt just to earn a peck on the cheek." I answered looking up at him with my own nervous lip bite.

"I'm ready, I can do it. Just keep your house cell phone close by in case I land at the bottom in a pool of my own blood," he replied quickly, then released me from his grasp and jumped onto the board I had been standing on myself just a few seconds earlier. I watched him take off towards the empty pool and ran to catch up, already terrified over his own warning.

I held my breath while my eyes stayed glued on him where he stood at the edge of the pool with his board in his hand and the sun beating down on his gorgeously nervous looking face.

"If I do this, I get more than a peck on the cheek, got it, Rock Star?" he warned, grinning at me. Before I could answer, though, he was already sliding over the edge with his board under his feet. My hands covered my gasp, and my eyes initially shut, preparing for the worst, but when I heard the sound of his wheels sliding across the concrete and the holler of excitement coming from his lips, I knew it was safe to look.

"God! I missed that," he admitted after landing back up at the top beside me. Again, he was slightly out of breath, but with a huge smile across his face. A smile he deserved. "That was the shittiest drop in I've ever done, but it felt fucking great!" he exclaimed before picking me up into a hug and spinning me around.

"Careful, pool ledge," I reminded him with a giggle of my own. He smiled and set me back down, then cleared his throat sarcastically.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll take that kiss," he prompted, then playfully applied some chap-stick to his already parted lips after stepping back up onto his skateboard to move it side to side in front of me.

I sighed, pretending to be annoyed by his request, then quickly pulled his face down to mine once he'd stepped off his board again to stabilize himself more soundly before me.

I'd intended on the kiss lasting only a few seconds, but apparently Edward had other plans, and I quickly found myself unable to push him away. His hands slid down my back to pull me in closer against him, while my own hands got lost in his hair. I moaned against his mouth when he tugged one of my locks back to hold me in place while his tongue swept across mine with delicate care. Our lips continued to massage one another's over and over again, almost as though we depended on their movement in the same way we depended on the air to breath.

I felt his hand brush across my cheek while his mouth moved slowly over mine, his teeth taking my bottom lip and nibbling softly. I could feel my body form itself to his as I pressed myself deeper against him, wanting to feel every part of him on me.

I'd never in my life been kissed the way he was kissing me. This kiss was different from anything else I had ever experienced, and that's why it had to stop.

"No. We can't keep doing this," I whispered pressing my forehead against his with my eyes still closed.

"Why not? What would be so bad about it? You've called me your friend, even if you were sleeping. I heard you say it," he replied breathlessly, before bringing his lips back down to mine. I pushed him back and firmly warned him I'd meant what I said when I was awake, not when I was sleeping.

"I can't do this with you. It can't end well, and I don't want that. It's better this way. Believe me." I didn't give him a chance to say anything else. Leaving the skateboard behind, I grabbed my guitar case and walked back to the house by myself as quickly as my trembling legs would carry me.

I could already feel myself becoming too attached to him. He was making me feel all kinds of things. Things that I didn't want to feel. Things I'd successfully avoided all my life.

My stomach growled, reminding me that I had yet to eat anything today, but food was the last thing I wanted to see. All I wanted to do right now was crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day in hopes of waking up tomorrow and being granted a do-over.

* * *

It was Saturday night, our one week anniversary in the Real Life house, and everyone was wanting to go out to celebrate getting through the first week without anything being thrown. I was the only one who wanted to go to Volturi's Crook, though, and because I was alone, I was now pouting in the corner of the living room while the rest of my housemates discussed other options.

"Were going there on Tuesday for your second performance Bells, let's do something different tonight," Emmett pleaded after noticing I seemed unhappy with having to choose another place to drown my insecurities at.

"It's fine, I might not stay out long anyways tonight. I'm feeling a little under the weather."

"Okay, Mary Poppins. Just remember, a spoon full of sugar will make the medicine go down," he replied with a chuckle over what I was assuming was my usage of the term, 'under the weather'.

For the last few days, Edward and I had hardly spoken and I'd pretty much spent every waking hour strumming Jane, working on my hair, or knitting with Alice.

At the moment, Edward was busy having his hair messed with by Tanya in their own little bubble on the other side of the room, while I pretended to scan a magazine in my lap.

She'd been laying it on extra thick over the last forty-eight hours. I wasn't sure if it was because he'd been giving me space, or if it was just her apparent inability to say something without it being riddled with sexual innuendos and undertones.

Whatever the reason, I wasn't the only one who had noticed. Even Alice brought up our housemate's flirtatious behavior while we were out shopping earlier in the day.

I believe her exact words were; "I think she'd jump on top of him right in front of all of us and ride him like a cowgirl, if he finally gave in to her." You had to love her PG rated mental pictures… and the fact that she was using a cowgirl to describe a sex act.

"Alice, honey, a cowgirl? Really? Who are you really thinking about right now?" I teased, creating a shade of red across her face.

"Bella!" she hissed, then looked around to make sure Jasper wasn't the current camera man on duty. Both he and his cowboy hat were missing, though, so it didn't take long for her shoulders to relax again.

I didn't want to be the only housemate to stay home tonight, especially when we were supposed to be celebrating our first week together, but the idea of watching Tanya try to cop a feel on Edward all night… it just wasn't at the top on my list of things to do. At least if we'd go to Volturi's I'd have Aro around to distract me.

I sighed out loud without meaning to and took in a deep breath, before putting my magazine down to head upstairs so I could shower and start to get ready. I'd go out for a little while, and if it got to be too much, I would just head home on my own.

I was a big girl.

I could handle that.

* * *

We'd ultimately decided on eating dinner out at a nice little Greek restaurant, but all I'd managed to get into my stomach was a few pieces of dry lettuce from my salad, some raisins and two rum and diet cokes. After our meal, we drove down to the pier to check out a beach side bar someone had told Rose about earlier in the week. It was a neat little place because it was out on the water, but it was also a little too posh for my liking. Definitely a more high class establishment, so I felt a bit out of place from the moment we'd walked in, but no one else seemed to notice my discomfort.

I was feeling thirsty again after witnessing Edward pull Tanya's seat out for her, and my thirst only got worse when I'd noticed his eye brow raise every time her hand would disappear under the table top.

We'd been at the bar for about forty-five minutes when Edward excused himself, letting us know he needed a refill and that something sitting at the bar had caught his eye.

I watched him walk over to the counter top, then noticed the pretty blonde he'd no doubt intended on getting to know before the night was over.

_What the hell is his deal?_

_Um, maybe it has something to do with the fact that one second you're sucking his face and grinding his crotch, and the next your pushing him away and hardly acknowledging his existence, Swan._

_What does it matter? You told him you're off limits, he's allowed to get his cock coddled someplace else. You can't expect him to stay celibate just because you won't open your legs for him._

_Shut the fuck up! Why are we even discussing this?_

The internal battle going on in my head was enough to drive me insane so I quickly downed my most recent drink, then asked James if he'd like to go with me for our own refills, noticing he was the only other person in need of one at our table.

"Sure, doll," he extended his hand out to help me from our booth and I smiled appreciating his gesture. Jasper was taking a break from his duties while another camera guy took his place, and I already noticed him making his way to fill my seat beside Alice who was sipping sweetly on her glass of red wine.

"So, how are we tonight? You've been awfully quiet these last few days," James pressed after we'd ordered our drinks at the opposite side of the bar from Edward and his latest conquest.

"I'm fine. I just feel a little out of it. Like my mind is someplace else. I don't know" I shrugged, "maybe I'm homesick?"

"Missing your _boy toys_, huh?"

"Some of them," I admitted with a smirk.

Truthfully, I was feeling horny as hell, and if I were back home, I knew I could call up just about any one of my guy buddies, and they would be more than willing to help me work myself out in any which way I desired. I didn't have that luxury here though… at least not yet.

_Shut it, Swan._

_This has been discussed and decided. He. Is. Off. Limits._

"Did something happen between you and your tag along puppy?"

"My what?"

"Edward. For the first few days you guys were like magnets. Now all of a sudden, I dunno. Like I said, I notice things, and it's been hard to not notice the distance you've suddenly placed on each other."

I moved on my bar stool uneasily and stole a glance towards the person we were discussing, grimacing at the sight of him moving the blonde skank-a-roo's hair back behind her ear with a grin across his face before whispering something to her.

_Nice, so that's a signature move is it? Dually noted._

"Um, can I get two shots of the best Rum you guys have?" I requested from the bartender. He smiled politely and nodded his head, and I returned my attention to my less dangerous housemate.

"We need to find you a man James, you obviously have too much time on your hands. Has anyone in town caught your eye yet?" I asked changing the subject.

He laughed and shook his head, "There doesn't seem to be a huge gay population here in Charleston, South Carolina. Who would have thought?" he joked, then looked away almost bashfully.

"Have you ever been in a long term relationship?" I asked, honestly interested.

This was good, if I talked about other people's love life's I could avoid having to face the questions involving my own.

"I lived with someone for three years right after high school, but that didn't work out, and I've been single ever since."

"Why didn't it work out?" If he felt it was okay to question me on my doubts in relationships, then I would press him on the same matters. It seemed only fair.

"Well, I guess it started when I walked in on him fucking our best friend in the shower."

"Ouch." I didn't know what else to say, and I was already feeling bad for having brought it up.

"Yeah," he took a sip from his beer and forced a smile that made me feel even worse over my question. You could see the heartbreak in his eyes, and it was the exact look that made me fear ever falling in love myself. I'd seen it too many times in my own friends, and it had already scarred me plenty without ever having experienced anything like it. I threw back the first of my two shots and let out a low growl, before propping my chin up in the palm of my hand with my elbows resting on the bar top. For some ungodly reason, I stole another glance in Edward's direction and found him dancing with the blonde skank-a-roo. I let out an impulsive grunt seeing his hands travel down her hips to rest just above her monstrous bubble butt, then tossed the second shot back, without even thinking twice about it after I saw his teeth bite at her ear playfully.

She responded by taking his face between her hands and his mouth to hers, while all her gal pals hooted and hollered over their friend's ability to wave her skankbadge.

_You trampy-no-good-grade-A-whorish-bitch-bag!_

_Who the fuck makes out with some random guy after just meeting him at a bar only fifteen minutes ago?_

_You would, Swan_, a traitor voice answered back, releasing another grunt from my own lips.

"Yeah, I've had enough for tonight. I'll see you guys back at the house, m'kay?" I slammed a twenty dollar bill on the counter top and didn't even give James a chance to respond, or take the time to let the rest of my housemates know I was leaving.

I didn't need the cameras following me, so I knew the best thing to do was quietly disappear and pray I got far enough ahead before James alerted them of my departure.

I needed to get out of there before Edward started dry humping his bar bimbo against the wall.

I had no idea what my problem was, but I hated every part of it.

Nothing made sense. I'd pushed him away so I would avoid these feelings of rage and heartache, but here they were, laughing in my face anyways.

I was obviously well aware that I'd shared my own kiss with someone else mere inches from Edward while he'd had to watch so this rebuttal seemed only fair, but at the same time, I wanted to scratch his eyes out over his behavior.

I was walking towards the main strip of town with one thing now on my mind.

If Edward was going to get some tonight, then so was I, dammit.

Two could totally play at this game.

Once outside Volturi's, I smoothed my hair back and took in a deep breath before going inside. It didn't take me long to spot Aro. He was busy behind the bar, but the moment our eyes met he stopped what he was doing and jumped the counter top to head towards me.

"Where have you been, beautiful? I've missed you, I thought maybe my kiss the other night scared you back to Oregon."

"How'd you know I was from Oregon?" I asked, smiling, while he wrapped me in a hug.

"I've asked around about you. Your buddy Emmett filled me in on some things the other night," he replied grinning back at me.

"Hm, I'll have to talk to him about divulging too many of my secrets," I teased back, already feeling better thanks to the attention he was giving me. "When do you get off?" I didn't want to waste any time. I knew it wouldn't take long for either Jasper or _Camera Guy Number One _to find me.

I needed to be fucked, and I needed to be fucked hard. Aro seemed like a great candidate to get the job done.

He smiled and smoothed the back of his hand across my cheek, then asked me if there was someplace I wanted to go.

"Anywhere is fine. I'm not really in the mood for mingling tonight and my housemates are over at some swanky bar on the beach, but I don't feel like being alone."

"Well, I'd love to hang out, but Saturdays are our busiest nights, and I already have two people out sick. How about I come by once things slow down?"

I pouted at his request and crossed my arms in front of me while faking a lip quiver. "Please, just for a little while. I won't keep you all night," I begged playfully while tugging on his arm towards the door.

He sighed, then smiled and agreed to meet me out front in five minutes.

_Success._

I grinned my own response, kissed his cheek and turned to skip back out the door, already feeling excited over the idea of getting the sexual fix I needed. That happy moment lasted an entire three seconds before I almost ran straight into Jasper and Tanya.

"Jesus! How-the-HELL?" I asked, unable to hide my disappointment after giving Jasper a light shove.

"Why did you take off? The producers are up my ass now for being distracted and losing you."

"Really? Distracted by _whom_?" I teased playfully. He smirked and shook his head, then propped his camera back up onto his shoulder to start filming again.

"And you followed me because?" I asked Tanya, narrowing my eyes at her while she smiled a crooked grin in my direction.

"I was worried about you taking off on your own. I wasn't trying to be intrusive, just a good roommate. I guess you knew where you were going though, huh?" She looked past me just as the door to the bar opened, bringing Aro out to join us in our awkward huddle.

"Aw, fuck. I thought you lost the cameras?"

"I did, but apparently they're good at tracking. You don't mind do you? I mean if were going to be friends while I'm here, you're going to have to get used to someone always watching." I told him smugly.

"_Always_ watching?"

"Well, at least till we get better at sneaking around," I offered, bringing a smile back to his face.

He gave me a swift 'yeah, yeah,' then offered a hello to Tanya. I smiled sweetly and took Aro's hand into mine and let him guide us towards the back of his bar where he'd told us his truck was parked.

"Guess we will be having a threesome then, huh?" he teased, giving both Tanya and I a wink. She giggled and declared she was game if I was, but I quickly set things straight.

"I have not had that much to drink this evening. Sorry to burst your fantasy bubbles." They both laughed, and Tanya stepped up beside me to take my other hand into hers, then shined a smile in my direction that for some reason made me look away when I felt my cheeks flush, betraying me.

_Am I being bashful over a girl?_ My mind really was playing tricks on me.

"Well, there's more booze at the house," she pointed out with a wink, and for a moment, I actually felt my stomach tie itself into knots over her suggestion.

I mean the girl was crazy gorgeous, but I seriously was not looking to see her naked.

"I think I'm going to like this one," Aro joked back in response, and I quickly elbowed him in the side.

"You saw me first," I reminded him, deep down not really caring too much if he did decide he'd like some attention from my roommate. For whatever reason the idea of Tanya and Aro didn't quite irk me the same way it did if I inserted Edward into Aro's position.

_And fuck me for that little revelation._

I sat bitch in the truck between Aro and Tanya, while Jasper filmed from the bed in the back. I was definitely feeling the alcohol now, because the sight of Jasper holding down his cowboy hat while in motion was apparently the most humorous thing I had witnessed all evening. Tanya and I were laughing so hard against one another other we both had tears streaming down our faces over the sight of it.

When we got to the house, our guest parked his truck, then insisted on getting the door for us before we could let ourselves out.

"I may have a bad boy exterior, but I still have some old fashioned tendencies," he warned, smiling down at me after extending his arm to take my hand again. I grinned, lacing my fingers with his, and quickly pulled him up the walkway to the entrance of our temporary home, while Tanya followed closely behind us.

"Okay, I should warn you, once were inside the installed cameras and mics will be activated. Please, for me, try to avoid looking right at them. Just try to act natural," I begged him giving my best puppy dog eyes.

As soon as we were on the other side of the door I asked Aro if he would like to come upstairs for a tour and slyly gave Tanya a warning glare, letting her know she should stay downstairs for a little while.

She sighed, then turned her body to head towards the kitchen with a flip of her hair. "Don't be long, I get lonely fast, and I didn't come home to sit around alone," she warned while walking away.

I was thankful she took the hint, but she would deal with whatever amount of time I needed in order to get rid of my pussy boner.

"So this is where you sleep? Is it weird?" Aro asked after I'd escorted him into my shared bedroom.

"Not really, I was followed around a lot at home by one of my buddies who was obsessed with always filming real time moments," I explained while I retrieved my guitar case from the chair in the corner of the bedroom. I was surprised to find Aro sitting on the edge of my bed, eyeing me with a smirk, when I stood back up and turned around. He gestured with his finger for me to come closer to him, so I followed his cue and set my guitar back down on the bed beside him. I draped my arms around his neck after he'd laced his own around my back to bring me closer to him.

"I'm glad you came and found me tonight."

"Me too," I answered, feeling a familiar nervousness in the pit of my stomach. He was going to kiss me again, and I was more than ready for it. "Cameras," I reminded with a smirk.

"I don't give a fuck, I need to kiss you, and that's what I'm going to do,"

"You're so predictable," I teased, then leaned down to bring my lips to his. "That must be what I like about you," I added once I was standing up straight again, leaving him craving for more.

"Mmm, I think I may have a few surprises, you'll have to wait and see," he replied hastily, then grabbed me by the waist to pull me back down for another kiss.

Before I knew it, we were lying on my bed, and his hands were becoming very familiar with my undergarments, when the clinging of the beaded curtain in the doorway announced we had a visitor.

_Really, Tanya, you couldn't even give me five freaking minutes?_

I groaned, rolling off of my new make-out buddy, and propped my head in my open palm against the mattress of my bed.

"Impeccable timing, darling," I hissed, narrowing my eyes slightly at the sight of her holding a bottle of Rum and three shot glasses.

"I don't like to drink alone. It was so quiet in here I was afraid you'd both fallen asleep," she insisted, then plopped down beside us in my bed, pouring the liquid from her bottle into the small shot glasses in her hand carefully. "You've been drinking Rum tonight right Bells?"

"Very observant of you," I snickered, then took the glass from her fingertips.

"Sorry. You're fun to watch. What can I say?" she answered back, throwing a wink my way before downing her shot behind her red painted lips.

I rolled my eyes, realizing the game she was playing, and took my own glass to my parted mouth, gulping it down, then exhaled slowly before redirecting my attention to Aro, laying myself back down against him.

He remained on his side, breathing in deeply beside my ear, successfully raising goose bumps over my arms, before whispering that he wanted to kiss me again.

"Pft. Who doesn't want to kiss Bella? Jesus!" Tanya exclaimed, standing up to fall back down onto Edward's bed in dramatic fashion. "Okay, maybe James, but even Alice has expressed her own minor girl crush," she added, smiling to herself with her eyes now closed.

I let out a huff and sat up for a moment to tie my dreads back after spotting Jasper the Reminder in the corner of the room pointing his lens in our direction.

I remained in my upright position and grabbed the half empty bottle of Captain Morgan's to refill our glasses, then announced a soft, bottoms up, before taking mine back.

"So, Bella's the _it_ girl in the house, then? All the guys, _and _girls, want a piece?" Aro asked, running his hand up and down my leg firmly, pulsing my upper thigh with his fingertips, mere inches from the area that was craving to be touched the most.

I didn't even care by who at this point. I just needed it. I needed it more than I'd ever needed it before.

"Of course she is. She's mysterious, sexy, vulnerable. Who wouldn't want that?"

"Vulnerable?" I asked with a laugh, then fell back down beside Aro, wrapping his arms back around me, not caring what it might lead to in front of my encroaching roommate.

I wouldn't be pussy blocked tonight. Nope. Not again. I was on a mission.

He breathed in slowly beside my ear again and ran his hands down my legs a little more slowly this time, pressing my body further against his chest while landing random kisses across my neck and shoulder blade.

"I'm bummed I missed the game of, Well I Never. Let's play a game." Tanya requested abruptly sitting up again, throwing her legs under her body to Indian sit in front of Aro and I while he continued to nibble at my ear.

"What kind of game?" I asked with a soft moan, closing my eyes over his touch just before one of his hands came up to pull the rest of my locks to the side, giving him more access to my neck.

"Truth Or Dare?" she suggested, then asked us if we could put our soft-core porn on hold for a few seconds. I opened my eyes with a laugh and noticed Jasper move in closer towards the left of me.

He just had to get his close up shot of my facial reaction over Tanya's one-liner mentioning porn and our guest.

_Perfect._

"I haven't played that since high school," Aro snickered, "Besides I don't need dares," he insisted, then growled playfully before lifting me up over him to turn me around above his torso so I'd straddle his lap. I was giggling like an absolute tipsy nerd while he pulled at my wrists to bring me down so I'd rest my body against his, just as he gave the first dare, "I think this game could be fun though, Bella I dare you to kiss your roommate."

I glared at him and rolled my eyes.

"Really, just because were playing a high school game doesn't mean we have to act like high schoolers with our dares. Besides I didn't even say dare," I insisted, bringing my lips down to kiss his nose playfully.

"You would have chosen dare, stop trying to buy yourself time and kiss the girl."

I coughed nervously and glanced at Tanya, who was already grinning in my direction. She motioned with her finger for me to join her on Edward's bed, and I let out a frustrated huff while I swung my leg over Aro's body to stand up and close the gap between my female roommate and I.

This wouldn't be the first time I'd kissed a girl. Hell, I'd done much more than just that with a girl before, so I didn't see what the big deal was. It just wasn't really something I'd desired to do, especially when she'd made it completely obvious that her biggest conquest was to fuck Edward before our three months were up here.

I pushed all that aside, though, and climbed up onto the bed. Staying upright on my knees while I moved closer to her, I kept my eyes on hers, but rolled them for a moment over the sound of Aro's premature moan.

I'm pretty sure I even heard a grunt leave Jasper's side of the room when I ran my hands through Tanya's hair before tilting her head to the side, so I could bring my partially opened mouth to hers. Her own hand cupped my face softly, while her tongue explored mine. Her free arm instantly ran across my hip where she pressed at my lower back with the palm of her hand, causing me to lean more of myself against her while we continued to slowly move our mouths together from our locked kneeling position on the mattress underneath us. Her skin was so soft, her touch so sensual. It was by far the most knee trembling moment I'd ever shared with another girl. So much so that I was now having a hard time pulling myself away from her, but all it took was a familiar squeal to bring me back to reality and send me to the other side of the bed.

"Holy mother of God! Were you two just, Wow! I never in a million years expected to walk in on that!" Alice yelped, giggling almost uncontrollably now while I covered my face in my hands trying not to laugh myself.

"We were playing Truth Or Dare," Aro explained with a sly grin across his face before casting me a wink from the other bed.

"You guys are back early," I mumbled, feeling like I'd just been walked in on by my grandparents.

"Yup, when you took off without saying anything we worried," Alice answered while still smiling at Aro, who I was now sitting beside on my own bed again. Edward was glaring, and I was smirking in his direction.

_Pay backs a bitch, manwhore._

"What happened? No take out?" I asked him sweetly.

"Nope, not for me, I ate in," he mumbled, then took a seat on his bed beside Tanya still looking slightly flustered over what he and Alice had just walked in on.

"Yeah, so Bella just finishing up her first dare to kiss her roommate," Aro continued to explain while sliding his hand across my leg again protectively.

"Wow! So which one is the better kisser Bells? Edward or Tanya?" Alice asked with a giggle, then covered her mouth as though she'd just exposed a secret… which in essence she had.

"Huh, really. I had a feeling there was more than big brotherly love going on between the two of you," Aro replied, sounding slightly annoyed with the news while he glanced in Edward's direction. "I think it would be hard to beat what I just witnessed though. Just saying, that was pretty unbelievable," he added and redirected his attention back towards Tanya, who was still smiling sweetly over the kiss we'd just shared.

"You're an amazing kisser, Bella, I totally see the obsession," my female roommate replied, still grinning in my direction.

I snickered and rolled my eyes, refusing to admit that she may have aroused me, too, in a slightly disturbing way.

The girl could kiss, though, and my body was still trembling lightly over the excitement she had helped create between my legs, and I was now hornier than I had been before.

"How about if we pause this adolescent fun and get into the Jacuzzi?" Rose suggested after coming into the room with a hiccup. She'd definitely had more than a few at the bar, and a drunk Rose was always a much more pleasant Rose.

"I like the way you think, Rosie," Emmett hooted in response after appearing in the doorway behind her with a fresh beer in his hand. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was just after midnight, which meant we still had a long night ahead of us, and the thing I wanted most was now out of my reach, thanks to my roommates all returning home so early.

_So-absolutely-not-cool_.

"Oh my god, Emmett, you missed it! Bella and Tanya were totally making out like crazy on the bed when we came in!" Alice exclaimed, sounding like a child excited over seeing Santa for the first time. Emmett delivered a minor tantrum, then insisted we continue our game in the hot tub and told Aro he could borrow one of his swim trunks.

"Sound's good. I can't stay too long, though, I told my crew I'd be back before closing."

"Aw, that's too bad," Edward mumbled , then looked around, seemingly embarrassed for his outburst.

"So, where did your blonde lady friend go?" I asked smugly, reminding him of his own indiscrete behavior.

"She had to get home, she's getting married in the morning," he informed me, trying his best to not smile, but failing miserably in the process.

"Nice. I'm sure her husband will love seeing that on national television in a few weeks." I got up and walked over to my dresser to get my own bathing suit out while the rest of my housemates dispersed to change themselves, Aro following Emmett out, leaving me alone with Edward and Tanya.

"I didn't force her tongue down my throat, or her hand onto my crotch," Edward grunted, still talking about his skank-a-roo hook up at the bar, then leaned back against his headboard with both his hands laced behind his neck in his signature relaxed position.

I sneered over his announcement and held my breath while counting to ten, before exhaling slowly to calm myself down.

"Come on, Eddie, come in the Jacuzzi with us," Tanya cooed, falling down beside him to nuzzle her head sideways into his lap, "Bella, it's time for another shot, pour me one too, sweetie," she ordered , then reached for her glass from the dresser against the wall between the beds.

I sighed and fulfilled her request, skipping on my own refill so I could go change in the bathroom, even though a part of me was leery to leave her alone in the room with her head in the lap of the person whom I wanted most but couldn't have.

_Why must my ACCP's keep doing this to me? Would it really be that hard to just ride his dick and wake up the next morning?_

_Yes. No. Maybe. Probably? Dammit, I don't know!_

I tied the string behind my neck, then piled all my hair up at the top of my head in hopes of keeping it dry for the most part, before I made my way back into the bedroom. I was happy to discover Tanya had left the room and only Edward remained on his bed with his hands still behind his head and his legs out in front of him.

He scanned my body in its tiny black bikini and pressed his lips into a unreadable expression, before standing up with a huff.

"You know he was video taping the two of you on his cell phone right?"

"So what? I'm being video taped twenty-four seven," I answered, feeling a bit smug over his inability to hide his jealousy over what he'd walked in on. "Don't be mad because I kissed her before you did." I added, still smiling.

"Pft, whatever. Don't act like you just cured cancer. She'd make out with anyone." he shot back with his own smile, crossing his arms in front of him. "I guess I'll go downstairs for a little while."

I nodded my head with my own raised brow and clicked my tongue playfully, "I had a feeling you would decide to do that. Just comes natural right?" I asked, still trying to hide my smirk.

"What does?"

"The Bella-sitting," I mocked, then threw him an impulsive wink and turned to leave the room before he could reply.

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**A/N: Okay so don't be pissed at either of them. I say that, but I know some of you are. I know you're probably feeling a bit blindsided by the Tanya stuff, but that's just her. I think I warned some of you in review replies, she really has no preference when it came to her housemates, she just craves the sexual attention. Could there be a method to her sexual madness though? Dun-dun-dunnnn.**

**Next chapter is written… actually the next 3 are, hehe. Hoping to update again next Sunday, and lets just say there's going to be some nicely made progress once these two get over themselves, so I hope you'll stick around. **

**Lolypop has made a few more manips for IRL, the links can be found at the bottom of my profile. *wink***

**Much love to my awesome beta clarabella75, she gets her job done even when she's not feeling 100% and I owe her greatly for that. **

***Reviewers get a taste of EPOV from this chapter.* **


	7. Truth Or Dare

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Updating a day ahead of schedule! Huge thanks to my fabulous beta, clarabella75 for that! Real quick, Orion03981 please enable your PM's so I can send you EPOV from CH 6.**

** This chapter earns it's M rating for its potty mouthed characters, and Bella's dirty thoughts. **

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**Truth Or Dare **

**Chapter 7**

_**Chapter Song**_

**Stars By: XX**

_I can give it all on the first date_  
_I don't have to exist outside this place_  
_And dear know that I can change_

_But if stars, shouldn't shine_  
_By the very first time_  
_Then dear it's fine, so fine by me_  
_'Cos we can give it time_  
_So much time_  
_With me_

_And I can draw the line on the first date_  
_I'll let you cross it_  
_Let you take every line I've got_  
_When the time gets late_

_But if stars, shouldn't shine_  
_By the very first time_  
_Then dear it's fine, so fine by me_  
_'Cos we can give it time_  
_So much time_  
_With me_

_If you want me_  
_Let me know_  
_Where do you wanna go_  
_No need for talking_  
_I already know_  
_If you want me_  
_Why go_

**~~*Bella*~~**

After leaving Edward in our room to ponder my last words to him, I set Jane down on the sofa and went into the kitchen where James was waiting for me with a chilled bottle of water. He _obviously_ felt as though I'd had enough to drink for the evening, so I _obviously_ had to roll my eyes at him.

"What's this about? I think I prefer your Long Island Iced Teas," I joked, taking the bottle from his hand and landing a kiss on his cheek.

"You seem chipper enough since leaving the beach bar, time to take it down a notch, don't you think? You didn't eat much this evening and with the amount of alcohol you've _apparently _had, I think it best if you slow down before you spend the night cradling the toilet."

I didn't like it when people tried to tell me what to do. Meddling was not something I appreciated or asked for.

That was a big no no in the book of _How To Stay On Bella's Good Side, And Not Receive The Bitch Face_.

"I'll take the water, just after I have another swig here," I informed him, then lifted the entire bottle of Captain Morgan's to my lips to swallow back three warm gulps. He shook his head at me and frowned, throwing his hands up in the air signaling to me that he was done trying.

"Thanks for your concern, _dad_, but I know my limits, and I am far from them."

"It's your party. I mean, I'd be thoroughly entertained while watching you go down in all drunken glory, but my bed is calling to me."

"I think you guys ruined there being any chance for me to go down _anywhere_ tonight when you came home so early, but I also think you knew that already," I mumbled back with a slight slur in my speech. I quickly threw him one last smirk and grabbed the bottle to take it outside with me where everyone else was already settled in the steaming hot water of our houses giant hot tub.

"Yay! Beller is here! Let the girl on girl action continue!" Emmett boomed as soon as I was standing on the steps to get into the water with them. Aro immediately extended his hand out to help me step over the ledge and pulled me down in front of him so he could wrap his arms around me, wasting no time to let his hands travel up my thighs. I almost jumped out of the water when his fingertips slid between the lining of my bathing suite bottom and the skin below my naval, casually grazing the top of my well manicured landing strip.

"So Aro, you're from here?" Rose slurred while leaning into Emmett. I covered my mouth to hide my giggle over her inability to keep her eyes focused on the person she had posed her question to, then leaned back against Aro's chest, locking his arms more firmly in front of me.

"Yup, born and raised. My brother and I got the bar a few years ago. He took off to Iraq, and I stayed back to hold things together. My mom just died last spring so it's just me and him now," he told everyone, and I felt my heart soften a little bit more over his story. The moment was lost, though, as soon as Edward appeared shirtless in his swimming trunks. The sight of him and his flawless body had me squirming to remove myself from Aro's grasp for some reason, and I instantly felt guilty for it but still moved to sit beside him rather than against him and his obvious hard-on. Edward stepped in and took the seat on the other side of me, then let out a relaxing sigh while closing his eyes to enjoy the pressure of the tub's jets on his back.

"Bella, pass that bottle over here," Edward uttered almost silently. I followed his request, noticing the way his fingers brushed against mine when he took the bottle from me, and watched him gulp down three swallows, just as I had done a few moments ago in the kitchen. I was already feeling good and tipsy at this point, so I continued to pass it over to Emmett since he had his own arm extended, waving for it almost frantically like an infant throwing a tantrum for his mother's nipple.

"Use your words, muscle-boy," I toyed. He splashed me in response, which resulted in a minor water battle before things calmed down so Tanya could get the Truth Or Dare game started again.

I groaned, wishing she'd get over it, but Rose was already calling out the first dare.

"Bella, truth or dare?"

"I just got done with a dare so, truth." At least I got a choice this time.

"Who has the bigger cock, Edward or Aro?"

I gulped back my shock and then laughed quietly while Alice completely lost it over the question that Rose had asked.

"I don't have the information I need in order to answer such an inquiry, _sweet _Rosalie," I uttered in response, then asked her as nicely as possible if she preferred the truth or a dare.

"Truth."

"God, you guys are so not going to be fun with this are you?" Tanya whined loudly, then scooted herself closer to Edward, much to my annoyance.

"Okay, truth… is it true you and Emmett fucked like wild monkeys the other night when we came back from Volturi's?" I asked smugly, putting her on the spot this time.

"Nope, he wishes. All we did was snuggle while I cock teased. It's what I do best," she confessed, sending a confirming grunt through her roommates lips.

"I'll get in your panties soon enough, Hale, just wait till I bring out the _big_ guns."

"Usually when a man has guns like these," she replied, squeezing one of his biceps, "it means they don't have any bigger guns elsewhere. Silly boy."

"Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet, sugar."

We all laughed when Rose reacted by dunking his head under the water in front of him, and I softly prompted Alice it was her turn and chose her simple, 'truth or dare'.

"I'll be brave, give me a dare." I smirked after receiving the answer I'd hoped for.

_Perfect._

"I dare you to kiss Mr. Cowboy Hat."

Once she'd processed my words, Alice's jaw instantly dropped, "What? Um, but… he's working."

Jasper was already putting his camera down with a very willing smile on his face.

"But I'm all wet."

"Oh, I bet you are," I snickered, pushing her towards him. The other camera guy instantly took her crush's place to catch the events that were about to unfold on film, and I smiled watching on like the proud black sheep of the family big sister I was always destined to be.

Alice shot me a worried look and for a moment I felt guilty. But I knew if I didn't test her limits, she'd never make the move, and Jasper just seemed to be too much of a gentlemen to find the courage to break the ice himself, so it was ultimately up to me.

She turned herself around and propped her body against the edge of the tub, then offered him a quiet "Hi" before apologizing with shyness in her tone.

"Don't apologize," he ordered, placing his hand behind her neck to lean her into him so they could lock their lips together.

My mouth dropped at the sight of what came next. This was no virginal kiss. No, this was an I-want-your-body-now kind of kiss, and I actually had to hold Alice back before she fell out of the tub thanks to her sudden desire to eat the poor guy's face.

I covered my mouth to hide my laugh while she remained in her position with her eyes closed tight, and the biggest, goofiest grin I'd ever seen on her face.

"Thanks, that was… nice," she whispered, then slid back down into the water still smiling after sending him on his way.

I was feeling more than proud of her, and I could tell she was feeling pretty damn proud of herself by the sound of her voice when she asked Edward if he'd want a truth or a dare.

"Truth," he mumbled, still smiling himself over Alice's monumental step.

Tanya let out another frustrated groan and called him a pussy for choosing the truth card. Emmett backed her opinion up, but Edward didn't falter.

"Okay fine, is-s-s-s it tru-e-e-e that you-u-u watch Bella when she's _sleeping_?" Alice giggled, and everyone joined in immediately over her question. I couldn't help but look over at him with shock clearly on my face.

_This is my own worst nightmare._

"I don't watch her, she likes to talk, and I like to try and listen. That's all," he fumed while avoiding eye contact with me.

_And that is why this is my own worst nightmare._

_How the hell, why the hell. Dammit, me and my loud subconscious mouth._

"He's totally lying, I've caught him at least four times," Tanya spoke up, grinning while leaning over to begin rubbing his shoulders.

_That's it, Swan, kiss all your anonymity goodbye._

"Shut your face, drunk girl. Emmett, truth or dare?" Edward asked, sounding bothered, then redirected his stare towards the man who was currently traveling his fingertips back up my inner thigh. I placed my hand over Aro's to signal he was treading a little too closely to an area where I wouldn't be able to stay still or quiet if he were to continue moving on the path he was on and smirked at the sound of a slightly frustrated sigh as it left his lips.

"I'll take a dare," Emmett answered, then sat up straighter beside Rose. Thankfully, Aro's hand took the hint and he backed off a little, allowing me to breath again. Not before I noticed Edward's returned glare, though. He'd definitely taken note in what was going on below the water, and for some reason I felt guilt hit me once again. This time over a different guy, though.

I hated the fact that I was feeling anything. I wasn't supposed to feel anything. This wasn't me. Not at all.

_If the tables were turned, though, and it was him with the blonde-skank-a-roo in front of you, you know you would be spitting bullets right now._

_Of course he's getting annoyed. The man has a right._

_Mother-effin-pestering-conscious-of-mine! Leave. Me. Alone!_

"I dare you to go run into the house, drop your pants and jump on James' bed to wake his ass up and get him out here with us."

"Well shit, I had to do gayer stuff than that during two-a-days!" Emmett hollered without wasting a second to leap out of the tub. He turned to face his back towards us, kicked his swimming trunks from his ankles and took off inside, screaming like a banshee, and I thought for sure I was going to pee myself from laughter. My sides were actually hurting while I continued to laugh uncontrollably with the rest of my housemates over what had just run away from us.

"Great, now he's gone, though, so who gets the next one?" Alice asked with a slight pout on her bottom lip.

"Actually, I need to head out, it's getting late." Aro spoke up, surprising me. We'd only been down here for thirty minutes, tops. It seemed a little soon for him to have to leave, but I didn't question him in front of everyone because I didn't want to be that kind of girl.

"I'll walk you out," I offered while he said goodnight to the rest of my housemates.

I glanced at Edward, again noticing that he, too, was already watching me as I stepped up out of the tub, but it didn't stop me from linking my arm through Aro's to walk with him back inside.

The sound of Emmett shouting like a loon upstairs thankfully helped me forget about the disapproving expression I'd left behind on Edward's face while Aro had helped me wrap a towel around my body.

"How come you're leaving so soon?" I asked once we were alone, pretending to be a little more upset than I actually was. I knew guys like Aro needed that kind of coddling.

"I think I have more fun with you when were solo, no offense. I can just tell you feel the same way, so why deal with the hassle of having other people around."

A part of me wondered if by _other people_, he really just meant Edward.

"You don't like my housemates?" I asked crossing my arms in front of me, feeling a little hurt.

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I can't seem to keep my hands off of you, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. How about we go out Monday night? Just me and you. You're allowed to do that right?"

"Are you asking me out on a _date_?" I giggled and leaned into him after he'd opened the front door so we could step out onto the porch.

"Yup, ever been on one?" he joked with a sly smile. He really did have a nice smile. There was something familiar about it and it made me smile back at him in return.

"Actually? Truthfully… nope. I don't normally agree to such things." I explained, then stood on my toes to kiss his cheek.

"But you're willing to try something new with me then, right?" he asked, grinning down at me with one of his eyebrows narrowed playfully.

"I think so, it could be fun. Pick me up at eight-ish?"

"Perfect. 'Night, beautiful. Thanks for thinking of me tonight," he replied with an adorable wink of his eye. He kissed me softly at the top of my head and squeezed my hands in his before releasing them to turn and walk down the steps towards his truck.

_I, Bella Swan, had just agreed to go on a date._

This was something I needed to write home about, because my buddies would surely think hell had frozen over when they got wind of this news.

I tightened the towel around my body and shivered over the cool breeze in the air, while I watched my newest _friend_ send one last wave my way before pulling away from curb in front of the house. Once he was out of sight, I made my way back inside and headed straight to the computer room to sign on to my Skype account. I needed to see their faces when I told them the insane news that I'd actually agreed to the dreaded _D-word_.

I saw that Paul's account was signed on so I immediately clicked the button that would call him for a video chat then waited, already smiling over the thought of seeing some of my best friends again, semi-face-to-face.

"BELLA!" more than one voice shouted at the same time before the video could even come up on my screen.

I smiled and waved then began my bombardment of facts and questions, 'I miss you guys so much,' - 'I can't wait for you to come visit me'- 'I already made your plane reservations, did you get the confirmations' - 'It's so pretty here,' -, and then I threw in a few questions, 'How's the band?' - 'What have I missed?' - 'Did Mike propose to Jessica yet?'

Finally the video was up and the faces of my friends were staring back at me with beer bottles taking turns at their lips.

"Are you in a bathing suit? _Noi'cee_ return Dreadilocks!" Paul hooted, pushing his beer towards the web cam with a jerk of his hand as though giving me a cheers through virtual space.

I laughed with a slight nod of my head and explained we had a giant eight-seater hot tub in the back and again asked them if they'd received their email confirmations for the tickets I had bought for them to come out and visit me next month.

"Yup. We're stoked. Sam just has to convince Emily to let him go. You know how she gets," Paul explained before telling me that I looked great and that they'd missed seeing me in barely nothing.

"Thanks, I've been catching up on my sleep the last few days, so I'm feeling really well rested," I replied, bashfully looking down towards the key board.

"Uh-oh, what's going on?"

They knew me so well.

"What's a reality show without some drama?" I teased, forcing a smile just as it started to get loud in the house. Apparently everyone had had enough water time. "So, ready for some crazy news?" I asked wanting to get the information out before one of my housemates came in to be nosey.

"We're dying for some crazy news, shock us," Embry spoke up, pushing Paul out of the way.

"I'm going on one of those _date_ things Monday night!" The announcement made all of their mouth drop open, even Sam's, and he rarely showed any emotion. Like, ever.

"Shut the fuck up, who finally made you crack?" Paul asked, glancing at something behind his computer screen before a very visible frown crossed his face. I heard a door slam in the background and immediately knew Jake had been there, somewhere off camera, and he had not appreciated hearing the news that I'd met someone worthy of my time.

"Tell Jake I said hi," I mumbled, feeling the need to punch something.

"Forget him. Tell us about this guy! Would we approve?" Embry asked, then took a swig from his beer.

I nodded my head and started in on the description of Aro and his musical capabilities, and how he had gotten me to sing with him on stage at his bar. By the time I got to the end of his profile, both Edward and Tanya had lingered into the room to collapse onto the oversized bean bag chair across from the computer desk where the phone was located.

"Sounds like an okay guy. Make sure he knows you've got a crew of boys that will fly over there in a heart beat if he decides to do, or say, the wrong thing to _our_ girl!" Paul shouted over Embry, who was now hogging the webcam with his crazy white smile.

"I'll make sure he knows," I laughed, then stole a glance at Edward who was rolling his eyes over our discussion. Tanya took my glance in their direction as her cue to jump up from where she had been laying beside him and skipped over to where I was seated to plop herself, wet bathing suit and all, into my lap, saying hello to my friends.

There was a string of "_day'umsssss_" instantly coming from the speakers, and now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Guys, this is my roommate, Tanya. Tanya meet the guys, Embry, Paul, and the quiet one in the back is Sam. He's our papa bear," I teased and blew him a kiss. He smiled and shook his head, looking embarrassed, then said hello to my new friend.

"Did Bella tell you guys we shared a kiss this evening, and that it was incredible?" Tanya asked sweetly, then turned to wrap her arms over my shoulders and kiss my cheek. I sighed and closed my eyes, shaking my head while they all laughed and told her that was nothing new for me.

"Hey!" I shouted in defense, even though they weren't totally wrong. "Okay, enough. I just wanted to call and say hey, I knew you'd be practicing tonight. Really though, tell Jake I said hi. Miss _you's_. Love _you's_."

"Bella, wait," Sam finally spoke up, pushing past the other guys after returning from the fridge with another beer in his hand.

"Yeah?"

"All jokes aside, you're taking care of yourself, right? Things are going okay?" he asked quietly, sending the same look he would have been giving me if I were sitting beside him and not on the other side of the country on a web cam.

"I'm good. No worries, really," I promised and blew them a kiss before signing off so that nothing more would be said.

"They're all so hot! Jesus, Bella! I need to come visit you in Oregon!" Tanya squealed, then stood up to skip out of the room, leaving me behind with Edward, shirtless, laying on the bean bag chair a few feet away from me.

I shut the computer down and turned the swivel chair to face him, then let out a sigh.

"I'm starting to sober up. I think that means it's time for bed," I told him with a slight shrug and waited for his response.

_The boy needs to put a shirt on before you accidentally release a moan instead of a sexually frustrated sigh, woman._

"It's still early, though, I was hoping I could talk you into walking over to the school with me once the camera guys went to bed."

"Me?" I asked surprised. He'd barely talked to me for the last three days and now he's hoping I'll come along for some late night skateboarding? Without the cameras?

_Well whose fault is it that he's hardly talked to you?_

_Oh, that's right. Yours._

_Shut-it._

"Yeah, I could use the musical accompaniment," he answered then looked away, seemingly nervous over having asked me to join him.

"Won't it be a little dark?" I pointed out, narrowing my eyes at him.

"We've got a pretty good battery operated flood light here, and it's a full moon outside," he replied back almost instantly. He was smiling that vag quivering smile of his again, so I looked away pretending to consider his request even though i already knew what my answer would be.

I knew if I went with him there was a good chance I'd regret it, but when in my life had I ever made a good decision?

Now certainly was not the time to start.

_You never should have left him the way you did the other day, and you owe him a better explanation than the one you gave him._

Okay fine, we needed to talk.

"If I go, you need to promise you'll keep your hands to yourself," I insisted before standing up from my chair.

"Boy scouts honor."

"Were you ever a boy scout?"

"I went to a meeting, or two," he returned with a smirk, knowing I'd used the same line on him earlier in the week in the confessional room.

I hid my grin, then agreed to come along with another loud sigh before turning to make my way towards the stairs to change. "If others want to come, though, that's fine. We're not making this a big secret thing. Secrets are what cause the whispers, and I don't like the whispers," I told him, crossing my arms now in front of me.

"I already told them I was going. Tanya was going to come, but it seems as though she's passed out for the evening," he replied, then nodded his head towards the couches outside of the computer room. I turned to look, and laughed seeing our roommate face down on the sofa with her legs dangling off the edge of the cushions.

"_Classy_, where'd everyone else go?" I whispered, following him out towards the kitchen.

"Alice went to bed, and Rose is being a cock tease with Emmett in the communal shower."

"Shut up!" I laughed covering my mouth, then followed him up the stairs to our room where the lights were already on for us.

After changing out of our damp clothes, we headed back downstairs, trying our best to not laugh at the sounds of awful singing coming from behind the doors of the downstairs bathroom. We slid out the front door and made our way across the grass to the sidewalk. Edward had a backpack with him this time. I figured it was filled with the flood light he had talked about and didn't feel the need to question him on it. Besides, I was too busy trying to carry my guitar case while balancing a giant bottle of water in my other hand. I didn't have the ability to worry about anything else at the moment, thanks to my current tipsy state.

I was determined to let myself sober up because a drunk Bella was not a wise Bella when it came to Edward Masen Cullen. I hadn't even romanced the idea of bringing along a bottle of booze. Besides, booze and skateboards don't mix. That I was sure of, and I was all of a sudden struck with the realization that Edward may not be sober enough for this little adventure of ours.

"How much did you drink tonight?" I asked, walking beside him after a few minutes of silence. We were only a few blocks away from the school now, but we'd yet to say a single word to each other since leaving the house.

"Not too much. I'm fine," he assured me, then smiled down in my direction, forcing me to look away.

"So, the blonde tonight, did you get her name or just her fingerprints on your dick?" I asked impulsively.

_Son-of-a-bitch awkward silences! This is what you do to me!_

I desperately wanted to punch myself in the vagina for even bringing the _skank-a-roo_ up.

"Um, I think it was Chloe?"

"Chloe, how cute. I thought about naming my dog that," I snickered, then bit down on my lip hoping it would help keep my mouth shut.

"I don't think you're one to talk, Ms. I'll-Make-Out-With-Anyone-If-I'm-Dared-To."

"Don't you start using _my_ name game," I warned playfully, feeling more comfortable around him than I had in the last few days. There was something about being out of the house that helped me weaken my defenses, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that I'd just remembered we were actually one hundred percent alone right now without any camera's or microphones spying on us. "This is kind of liberating, being out without anyone watching." I confessed when we'd started to make our way through the narrow opening of the chain link fence that would let us into the abandoned school grounds.

"Why do you think I suggested it?" he smirked and bumped me with his shoulder. He set his backpack down on the same concrete bench I'd made my home just a few days ago during our first trip out here and stretched his arms out in front of him with a loud moan leaving his lips.

When I scanned our surroundings, I was surprised by how bright the moonlight actually was tonight. Truthfully, we wouldn't even need much more light. At least I wouldn't, not to play on Jane.

Edward took a seat beside me and pulled the large flood light out from his bag, then set it on the ground to cast a glow across the basketball courts surface.

"I could pretty much do this blindfolded, but I don't know all the little cracks and divots here yet," he explained, running his hand through his mass of hair at the top of his head. Thanks to it still being a little damp, it was now sticking straight up and I was desperately wanting to reach out and run my own hands through it.

_Oh please, admit it, you want to tug on it and rape his face._

_Away. Evil. Honesty. AWAY._

He took a gulp from my bottle of water, then tossed it back to me and took off with his board underneath him. I smiled watching him weave in and out around the court, leaping up to perform random kick flips while I positioned myself to get started on my own therapeutic act with Jane in my lap.

After awhile, he disappeared around the corner of the building where I knew there were several hand rails he'd been eyeing the other day. I slowly closed my eyes to get lost in playing and smiled at how quickly my body could relax once I had Jane in my arms. It was nice to have a few minutes alone, so I began swaying forward and backwards in a rhythmic pace while humming to myself to the beat of the music my fingertips were creating.

I figured as long as I didn't hear any screaming or shouting he was fine, so I let myself go to the song I'd been working on over the last week and almost fell off the bench when something moved by me, brushing my back when they'd passed.

"Edward!" I hissed. Feeling embarrassed over my startled reaction, I glared in his direction and sternly reminded him that he'd promised to keep his hands to himself.

He laughed, going by me again, then raised his two fingers up beside his temple with his mock interpretation of a boy scout salute.

"I thought you'd hear me coming, my apologies."

"I guess I should fill you in on a little secret of mine, sometimes when I start playing… well my friends say I totally space out. A bomb could go off beside me, and I'd never even notice." I admitted, sitting back down after he'd come back around and stopped himself in front of me.

"Interesting. I could see that, there's something really… special about watching you play, something about it… it's obviously more than just music to you."

I could feel my face turning red and was thankful for the cloud that had rolled past the full moon above us, sending a shadow across the school yard and making it dark enough to hide my embarrassment over his compliment.

He eyed me for a moment then took a seat beside me and placed the skateboard between us. I automatically wondered if that was done to help keep a boundary line visible between us, and I smiled at the thought.

"Look, I'm sorry," I rushed out, setting Jane down beside me so I could turn to face him, "I'm sorry I just took off the other day, and I'm sorry I've hardly spoken a word to you since, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what else to say."

"I still don't understand why you did it, though. I don't understand how one second you could be so hot and the next second so col-,"

"Please, don't start singing Katy Perry songs to me," I interrupted him, hoping to bring a smile to his face. Instead, all I got was a very serious expression that told me this was something which had been on his mind since the moment I'd left him standing here on the courtyard. It was also obvious this was something he didn't want to joke about and that made me even more nervous.

"You know more about me than anyone in the house. I've told you more than I've told anyone else, but there are still some things about me that I'm not ready to share. I guess what I'm trying to say is… you need to let me figure this out on my own terms. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to you. I think its an obvious fact at this point that we have amazing chemistry but..."

"See, right there," he interrupted, standing up in front of me with his arms out at his sides, "you trust me enough to let me in more than you've let anyone else in. You say there's an attraction, that we have amazing chemistry, but then you just shut me out completely. You shut me out, but you let that _sleaze_ ball from the bar have his hands all over you? I'm not trying to get you to go steady with me, Bella. I just want us to be… we need to be the way it feels right to be," he stopped and shook his head, seemingly frustrated, and tugged on his hair firmly before starting to pace again in front of me. "No, that's not coming out right… I just don't get why we can't just be natural with each other. Why can't we figure this out together? I might want to hold you sometimes, why can't we do that? I might want to kiss you sometimes, would that really be so bad? I want to experience every part of you while we're here Bella, that doesn't have to be some scary thing. You're a pro at emotionless relationships, I don't need to be anything more than a blip on your _map-of-friends_. I'm not asking for anything more, but for you to just be who _you_ are, with _me_." He finished, then sat back down beside me folding his hands away safely in his lap.

There were a hundred reasons why we couldn't figure this out together, why I needed to do this on my own, my own way, but at the moment my mind was a total blank.

I looked at him, feeling absolutely speechless, and glanced down at my feet that were crossed beneath me. I was without words, literally unable to speak while my brain processed everything he had just said to me. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. It was obvious that he had come here ready, and prepared for this, while I had not.

A part of me felt as though he'd backed me into a corner with a surprise attack, but it didn't take me long to realize I really hadn't given him much of a choice, and I needed to accept that.

"Edward, I told you… it's different with you."

"Why? What makes it different?" he asked, starting to reach out to touch me but stopping himself half way. "You said it can't end well, who says anything would have to end? We don't have to start anything, that requires an ending. We only have to act on our impulses and ride the wave, so to speak. Whatever happens, happens."

"But what if one of us starts to want something more?" I asked firmly, somehow finding the strength to voice my truest concern, "What if someone gets hurt?"

"Bella, I've been through enough bullshit in my life that the idea of maybe falling for some girl who might decide she's better off with out me… it's the least of my worries. I'd be going into this knowing that there are no promises of anything. I only want a chance to get whatever I can out of you. I want to get to know all of you because you're something… you're someone I feel like I need to get to know," he replied briskly, then nervously ran his hand through his hair again.

"Well what if _I'm_ the one who gets hurt?" There was more I wanted to say, but that was all I could manage to get out at the moment.

"I don't think there's much you can't handle, Bella. I'm really not that great of a guy. There's nothing special about me… I don't know why you insist on putting me up on some pedestal," he teased, obviously wanting to make me smile. It took only seconds for the smile to appear on my face, and I instantly felt my body relax beside him.

I exhaled slowly, letting out a long, exasperated sigh. "So, what exactly are you asking of me?" I questioned, hugging my body to shield it from the cold air. The temperature must have dropped ten degrees since we'd arrived at the school. I shivered and shook my head, willing my core temperature to rise so that my teeth would stop chattering. Edward glanced over at me and immediately removed his hoodie to lean over and place it around my shoulders with a crooked smile.

"Truth or dare, Bella?"

I was unable to hide my smirk over his question. "Dare," I answered knowing that was the response he was hoping for.

"I dare you to do what feels right when we're together. If I see you laying in bed and if I want to come climb in beside you, and hold you in my arms, you should let me do that," he finally replied softly.

"You've wanted to climb into my bed… to hold me?" I asked, again trying to hide my smile.

"Especially when your talking in your sleep," he admitted with his own grin. I laughed without meaning to and shook my head, feeling a bit embarrassed over the conversation we were actually sharing.

"So you're fine with me hanging out with Aro then? And any other guy I may meet while we're here?" I asked testing him.

"If that's what you want to do… if they're who you want to spend your time with, then I'll be okay with that."

I narrowed my eyes, knowing he wasn't being totally truthful with me.

"Okay, it might _irk_ me a little, but I'll get through it. As long as I get my fair share of Bella time. Will you be able to handle seeing me with other women?" he returned the question.

"I got by alright tonight."

"Yeah, you came home and made a _Girls Gone Wild_ tape with our roommate," he scoffed, and I pushed him playfully with both my hands, almost knocking him off the bench. "Seriously though, that was pretty hot. I can't wait to catch it on Youtube," he added, and I again threw my opened palms at him, but this time he caught me by the wrists and pulled me into his lap. "I like you, Bella. We go good together, can't we just stop the games and see what happens?" he asked, tilting my chin back so he could force my eyes to look up at him.

I thought his question over for a few moments, letting my conscious continue to battle with itself over what I knew was right, and what I knew was wrong.

It was right for me to let him in, to experience all of him the same way he wanted to experience me. He was right in thinking that we went well together. It had taken me my entire childhood to finally open up to my guy buddies back home in the same way I'd opened up to him in only hours of having first met. A part of me worried, though, that once he knew everything there was to know about me he'd take off without even looking back.

That was why my defenses were always needed. The people who knew me since birth knew what they were getting, they understood I was damaged goods. They never expected more of me than what I was willing to give.

Bottom line though, I enjoyed sex. That's what had gotten me where I was- in the unhealthy mind frame I was in. Why should I push someone away who was obviously more than capable of giving me the one thing I craved the most in my life thanks to his magical mouth and flawlessly thick cock?

_Because you're afraid of falling in love with him, stupid girl._

_ARG! Shut it, I was doing so well coming to terms with things._

_So stop thinking and just go with what you feel. Why change your ways when there's something so pretty asking to take care of you and not demanding you let him be the only one to do so?_

I shook my head, hoping to free myself from the internal battle and sighed, "What do we tell everyone? I mean, how do we explain our _arrangement_ to them? The producers are going to flip their shit when they find out they missed out on this little talk of ours," I snickered with a slight grin.

He smiled in response and shrugged his shoulders. "We don't need to tell them anything. We don't have to answer to anyone. If they ask, we just tell them we enjoy each others company and that's that," he explained, increasing his grip around me with his arms. "Truthfully, it's none of their business. It's ours to do what we want with it," he added, then rested his head against mine while taking a deep breath in.

"Okay, then we need to agree, if at any point one of us wants to… stop, if it starts to become too much… Neither one of us will argue, and we will just accept the other person's wishes?" I asked feeling hopeful.

"Agreed. No questions asked termination policy," he promised with a smile I wanted to place my lips over.

So that's what I did, I leaned myself towards him and took his mouth to mine, kissing him softly while he remained limp over my touch. "Um, did I do something wrong?" I asked, a bit surprised by his missing reaction.

"Oh, can I touch you now?" he teased with a serious expression hiding his own grin. I shoved him playfully, then nodded my head yes in response and draped my arms over his shoulders to tilt my lips back towards his. This time, he returned the kiss, and I felt the familiar spark only he seemed to be able to create. It shot down my spine while his mouth moved over mine, his hands holding me close to his body as I grasped his hair tightly around my fingers. I could almost feel his heart beating against my chest, and as I imagined its fast pace, I drew him in closer, wanting every part of him on me.

"I really enjoy kissing you," he whispered softly once we'd parted a few minutes later. Both of us were out of breath over our inability to multitask breathing while become reacquainted with each other's faces and bodies- in a strictly PG-13 kind of way. I smiled at his statement and agreed I, too, found it pleasant, then gave him another playful shove to remove myself from his lap so I could return Jane to my arms. For whatever reason, in moments like this, I craved more than ever to be distracted by my music. Jake used to say it was my way to shut out any critical, over analytical thinking, and part of me always wondered if he was right about that.

"So, tell me more about your family. Who. Is. Bella. Swan?"

"Ugh, are we back to _that _again?"

"I told you I want to know all of you," he answered, rocking his skateboard back and forth under his feet from where he was sitting beside me.

I began strumming my fingers over my guitar's strings and shrugged my shoulders, "I don't think there's much more I'm ready to tell. This will be a process, Cullen," I warned, smirking. "I've never had much family, at least not blood related... who wanted me. Even though my parents only died a few years ago, I never felt like I really knew them. Christ, I didn't even call them mom and dad." I told him, shaking my head to myself, while smiling over the twisted fact.

"How did they die?"

"They were in South America, on one of their trips… no one really knows what happened. They think my dad was approached by someone who wanted his wallet or his watch. He was his stubborn self which resulted in both him and my mother being stabbed to death then shot in the head, execution style," I replied bluntly. I let a few seconds pass then finally looked up to find his shocked expression. "It's okay, like I said, I hardly knew them. I think I probably saw them a total of seven times in my life before they died."

He still said nothing, and I was beginning to regret filling him in on my basic history, "Say something Edward. Those are the looks that keep me from sharing too much of myself with people," I added with a forced laugh.

"I'm sorry, that's just, that's a really awful story, Bella. All of it. Not knowing who they were, but then losing them like that before you even got a chance to change your fucked up relationship. No wonder you're so closed off," he replied almost instantly, then stiffened his position realizing he'd probably said too much.

"I don't doubt some of that has played into the person I've become," I told him honestly, then returned to strumming on my guitar. "I might as well tell you now that I come from money," I mumbled more to myself than to him.

"I had a feeling you weren't a poor country girl when Tanya was panting over your wardrobe in the closet," he replied, smiling again, then leaned back propping himself on his arms beside me.

"It's old money. It's what allowed my parents to live the life they wanted to live while thinking all along I was fine without them. As long as they thought I was being taken care of and given everything I'd ever dreamed of having… aside from having them, of course, they were without concern for my actual well being. It's much easier, I guess, to leave your child behind when you think all that matters in someone's life are objects and things."

"Jesus. I thought my dad was bad with his excessive pot smoking when I was growing up, but hearing your story now makes me feel like I was the luckiest kid in the world. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he answered lowly, then put his hand over mine to stop me from continuing on my guitar. I looked up at him, shrugged, and set my guitar into its case, ready to call it a night.

"You said old money, though, from your grandfather then, the one who taught you piano?" he asked, turning the subject to the sorer area of my past.

"Well, actually that was my mom's dad who taught me piano, but the money I inherited after my parents death came from my dad's side of the family. They'd all died before I was even born, but yes, my mom's dad also comes from the same background. He's a man of conviction, someone who thinks he can change the world with his money and influence. The problem is he wants to change the world by turning it into a place full of people just like him, with his morals and his beliefs. I wasn't quite cookie cutter enough for that."

"What do you mean?"

"Ah, another story for another time," I teased, wanting to lighten the mood. I leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek playfully before standing up to zip his hoodie infront of me. "Seriously, though, the producers are going to flip their shit," I added with a smirk, then smoothed my hair back behind me before extending my arm out to help him up from the bench.

"Aw, they'll get over it. I'm sure we'll make it up to them in the future," he teased, drawing me in closer against him to kiss my lips again softly. "So... want to _cuddle_ tonight?" he asked, smiling down at me after brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"I had a feeling you were going to ask me that," I answered with a sarcastic eye roll, pretending that his line hadn't actually caused my stomach to tie itself into knots. I quickly took his hand into mine so we could return home that much quicker because secretly, I couldn't wait to fall asleep in his arms, and for a moment that tiny fact was my only concern.

_Well, that and you better hope you don't talk in your sleep tonight after re-hashing all that ugly in your life._

Just. Super.

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**A/N: Alright so thats some pretty good progress, right? And we've learned a bit more about what makes Bella tick. We've still only scratched the surface though with her. *heavy sigh***

**The good news is CH 8 is written, the bad news is I've decided to do some re working of it. It shouldn't be more than a 7-10 day wait though for the next update. **

**Just a friendly reminder, I post teasers on my Twitter (TailoredDreams), so don't be afraid to stalk me. I'll also be updating the IRL Blog every Thursday now with teasers, pictures, and songs/music for the upcoming chapters. You can find that link on my profile. **

**Big hugs to my fabulous beta, clarabella75. I *heart* her hard! And to my a-mazing pre-reader Lolypop82, I *heart* you too bb!**

***Reviewers not only make me smile, but they also get EPOV from when he and Bella go home and cuddle... will Bella talk in her sleep? Dun-dun-dunnn.***


	8. Distractions Make the World Go Round

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Another Sunday update because my beta is amazing and she spoils me like whoa! Big hugs to clarabella75! One quick note, *leah-cupcake* and *nysue* please enable your PM's so I can send you the outtake from chapter 7. Speaking of the outtakes… It is never too late to get those. Just leave a review and I will reply with the POV that goes along with the chapter, *wink*. **

***This chapter earns it's M rating for adult behavior involving the Triple L's - lemons, language, and light drug use.***

**In other words, Bella likes to party with her ACCP's off, and she also likes to place mind numbing **_**funny **_**cigarettes between her lips given the opportunity. **

**Get cozy... it's a long one. **

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**Chapter 8**

**Distractions Make the World Go Round**

**~~*Bella*~~**

It was nice waking up in Edward's arms the next morning.

No… it was better than nice, but I was currently ignoring that unfamiliar topsy-turvy feeling in the pit of my growling belly.

What was even more surprising, though, was the fact that my new cuddle buddy hadn't mentioned anything about any random ramblings he might have heard coming from me while we'd shared the same bed last night. This was a major plus when it came to starting my day because that had been my last worry before finally closing my eyes last night with his hands pressing my back against his chest.

We knew the moment Tanya woke up and caught us in bed together the entire house would also know within seconds. There really was no such thing as secrets here, but no one confronted us about it or even raised an eyebrow, so we said nothing. We just continued to… be.

We'd spent all morning and afternoon talking with each other on the couch, out back on the patio, and then out on the ledge of our bedroom window while I'd relapsed on my month and a half stint of not placing a cigarette between my lips. I was surprised when Edward said it didn't really bother him. All my friends back home had made it their mission to make sure I quite before my twenty-fifth birthday. I figured I still had a few years to go, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal to start over again in a few weeks when I got tired of smelling like an ashtray. Besides, I wasn't a heavy smoker… it was more of a hand fidget thing for me. I'd have maybe three or four a day… plus I used them to help curb… other _urges_.

Old habits die hard, and I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit there was a theme to my inability to stay nicotine free whenever I'd make a decision to do something outside of my comfort zone. This time, it was agreeing to _let _things happen with Edward that triggered my relapse, but that was something else I would keep to myself.

_No need to share all your red flags, Swan._

We had just watched the sun set together outside our window, joking about how absolutely cheesy it was for a guy and a girl to do such a thing together, when Jasper showed up to bring us to the Confessional Room. He let us know we were needed for a short interview to explain last night's '_shenanigans_'- his word, not mine.

"Dun, dun, dunnnnn," Edward teased while we climbed the stairs together, his hand randomly slapping my ass and making me jump.

"I told you, they're flipping their shit," I warned, hiding my own smile.

Once we were seated in front of the camera, I leaned my head onto Edward's shoulder and let out a sigh, "Give it to us voice box. How long are we grounded?" I joked, then bit at my bottom lip sarcastically.

"No one is in trouble here," an unfamiliar voice replied back, then cleared its throat, "We are, however, very disappointed that we have footage of the two of you leaving the house, walking a foot apart, followed by footage of you returning about an hour later clinging to each other as though your lives depended on it before climbing into bed together. Our viewership will not be pleased with missing out on what happened in between said times, so we need a little filler from you guys here in the confessional. If you don't mind."

Edward and I looked at each other and stifled our own laughs before sitting up straighter in our shared seat to maturely explain the events that had brought us here.

"So, we went out as friends, and came back agreeing to be friends with benefits, there's really not much to tell," I spoke into the camera, then leaned over to kiss his cheek, which created a fairly proud looking grin on his beautiful face.

"Yup, nothing more, nothing less," my roommate fibbed lightly. I was extremely thankful he was going to help keep my basic history between us for the time being. I wasn't ready to share that much of myself with the cameras yet.

_Funny, though, that you're fine with getting your freak on with your roommate for all the world to see._

_Shut-it._

"And what led you to those terms?" the speaker box asked, sounding slightly flustered as it interrupted me and my own pestering voice in the back of my head.

"We talked, laid everything out and accepted things for what they are," I answered matter of factly.

"And what are they? These things you've accepted? Come on, Bella, you know what we want to hear, so stop playing games. Did you two _consummate_ this new relationship?"

"Pft, no! The only thing that happened in that bed was PG rated cuddling, and it's _not_ a relationship," I replied with a sigh, then shrugged my shoulders at the camera, "It was pointless for us to continue pretending there was nothing going on between us. There's obviously something, so we've agreed to just do what feels natural while trying our best to not ask questions, or demand anything more than what were willing to give."

"With no strings attached," Edward chimed in before bumping my shoulder.

"Right, I still get to have other, friends."

He reacted to that bit of information with an eye roll before stating the same went for him.

"Interesting…okay, then, I guess that's it, unless there's more you'd like to share?"

A devilish grin quickly spread across my face, "He's a phenomenal kisser, but I think he could take some tips from Tanya," I teased, resulting in his fingertips finding their way to my sensitive spots, sending me into an instant fit of giggles.

"Watch it, or I'll take that as a challenge to make sure we practice more often, _and_ I'll take some lessons from our roommate while I'm at it," he replied, grinning at me, obviously feeling proud over getting me back into his lap thanks to his random tickle attack.

"You'll get no complaints from me, Mr. M&M. About the practicing, I mean… with me… not her."

He smiled and nodded his head, then leaned in to pull me deeper against him so he could bring his mouth to mine, giving me the thing I craved the most when I was beside him now.

"Mmm, you have nice lips," I mumbled lowly, bringing an even wider smirk to his face after I'd opened my eyes to look into his.

"You have nice, everything," he replied playfully, then looked back towards the camera to ask if they were done with us.

"Yup, thanks for coming up. Let the rest of the house know your new boss will be here soon, so they should all be ready for an informal meeting downstairs."

"Sure thing," Both Edward and I replied at the same time, making us laugh at our synchronized response.

"Jinx, _you_ owe me a blow job," Edward teased, then extended his hand out to help me up from where we were sitting.

"I thought it was supposed to be 'jinx, you owe me a _coke_'. What games did you play as a child?" I toyed back, then gave him a playful shove to run ahead of him down the stairs.

* * *

It was ten minutes after seven when the door bell rang, and Mighty Mouse Alice was instantly in 'go-mode'.

"Oh my God! They're here!" she squealed, running past the rest of us towards the kitchen to head to the front door of the house.

"Why the hell is she so excited over receiving a job assignment? Who actually wants to work?" Rose snickered after taking a seat beside Emmett, who was looking through a Sports Illustrated magazine on the smaller couch in our large living room.

"I'm looking forward to having a reason to get out of the house actually," James spoke up, collapsing beside me where I was currently laying on my stomach with my own piece of reading material.

I sat up with a huff, but agreed with what he had said, "It could be fun," I insisted, already hoping for the best. I'd worked before, though never for longer than a few months at a time. I'd always find a reason to terminate responsibility. All it took was one coworker-friend who would suddenly start to look at me funny after a simple booty call. Besides, I never worked because I had to. I worked so I'd have something to do, a reason to get up in the morning. I found that if I sat around for too long with only my thoughts to entertain me… that's when things would start to get… complicated.

What's that saying… Idle hands are the devil's playground? Well, in my case, an idle brain with nagging thoughts could be my own worst enemy.

"Or we could get stuck working at an animal shelter like last season's cast," Rose snickered back in response, interrupting my own thoughts. I rolled my eyes and tossed my magazine down on the table in front of us, then crossed my arms, waiting to see who Alice would bring back with her.

We could hear them making their way down the hallway just as Edward came in from the computer room where he had been chatting with one of his buddies on Skype about some Skateboarding competition coming up in November.

Yes, I had been eavesdropping.

He shot me a careless wink, then took the seat on the other side of me, forcing my body to shift its weight into his shoulder, just as I was sure he had planned.

I smirked at his obvious move, and leaned myself back off of him so we could seem a bit more professional in front of the person who would be our boss for the next two and a half months.

_No reason to march your sex buddy parade in front of your new paycheck provider. You can refrain from touching the man for fifteen minutes, can't you?_

_Maybe._

My attention quickly turned to the entryway where Alice had just entered the room with a very well dressed, slightly older looking woman.

"Everyone, this is Esme Platt. Esme, this is the rest of the house," Alice announced.

If I had to guess, she was in her late thirties, maybe early forties. The bun on the top of her head was what aged her, but her face, and her complexion, matched with her extraordinary smile and style screamed that she took pride in taking care of herself.

"Hi everyone, it's nice to finally meet you," she spoke up once Alice was done going around the room giving Esme all of our individual names. "Well, let me get started so you can get back to doing whatever it is you do here," she smiled and took a seat on the ottoman in the center of the room so she could face all of us while she spoke. "As Alice said, my name is Esme Platt, and you will be working for me starting next Monday. So, you have one more week of freedom before responsibility returns to your life. I'm sure you're all dying to know what it is you will be doing, so I won't keep you guessing." I noticed Esme eye the cameraman in the corner of the room and smiled at her inability to ignore him the same way the rest of us were now able to do.

"Hells yeah, are we going to be life guards or what? Maybe work a souvenir shop on the beach?" Emmett spoke up while leaning forward in his seat.

She laughed and shook her head no, then stood up to pass around manila folders with our names printed on the front.

I opened mine up and immediately grinned.

"Were working with kids?" Rose groaned, then fell back against the sofa releasing a huff from between her lips. "I'd rather pick up dog shit all day."

"Kid's can be fun, this could be great you guys!" Tanya spoke up, bouncing in her seat while I continued to flip through the pages of information in our folders.

"I run a non-profit outreach program for elementary age children who live in a group foster home. It's called _Their Place_, and most of the children who live there suffer from emotional problems and come from abusive backgrounds, so I'll expect you all to be sensitive to their situations," Esme explained as she scanned the faces around the room. "In your charts you will find pictures of the children you will be working with, along with their brief history reports, so you won't be walking in clueless come Monday afternoon."

"So, they're like problem kids?" Emmett asked, actually sounding a little more interested himself.

"I don't like to use that phrase but, yes, in so many words. Do any of you have any background in working with children?"

I raised my hand and told her I was a camp counselor one summer right out of high school. Edward followed my lead, letting her know he had spent two summers at a Skateboarding camp working as a counselor and instructor.

I didn't know this, and the news made me fall that much more for the man I was refusing to fall for.

_He worked with kids so now you're willing to give him that much more of you? Are you seriously that much of a push over? What's happened to you, woman? You don't even want kids. Remember?_

_Pathetic._

I shook my head and sat up straighter in my seat, while Esme continued to explain how her program worked.

"You will all be assigned an age group, and you'll be in charge of that group between the hours of two and six every Monday through Friday afternoon."

"Sweet hours!" Emmett roared, sending Rose's elbow to his ribs.

Esme smiled and nodded her head, then cleared her throat before explaining that twice a week we would take 'field trips' while the other three days would be spent at the center, where we would rotate around different activities and various play yards.

"The show has already provided your background checks, so you have all been given the clearance you need. Rosalie, you will have first grade, Tanya second grade, James you'll be with third grade, Bella and Edward you will have fourth grade, and lastly Alice, you an Emmett will be sharing fifth grade."

"Why do they get to be paired up?" Tanya fussed with a pout across her lips and her arms crossed in front of her.

I was already doing my own internal happy dance over the news that I would get to have some semi-solo time with Edward five days a week while we worked together.

"Our fourth grade and fifth grade groups are the largest at the center so we need double the workers for them, while grades one through three have only three to five children," Esme explained politely. "Your uniforms will be dropped off later in the week. They're basic khakis and a blue polo shirt, nothing fancy. I expect you all to be on time Monday afternoon. If you have any questions after reading through the material, don't hesitate to give me a ring. I look forward to working with you. You really seem like a fun bunch, with lots of energy, which you will definitely need."

I continued to scan the literature she had provided with their mission statement, the outline of various activities, and trips the center liked to go on, then stood up to shake her hand after realizing she was standing before me.

"Sorry, I was lost in reading," I mumbled, giving her my best smile.

"It's absolutely fine, Isabella. I'll see you next Monday." The way she smiled at me, and the way she said my full name… it automatically made me raise an eyebrow at her. There was also something about her handshake. It was soft, comforting. It made me nervous. Like she knew something, but she wasn't going to share what it was.

_Just how much of a background check did this show provide?_

"It was nice to meet you, Esme," Edward spoke up, extending his own hand to break our handshake which was lasting a little too long for my liking.

"You too, Edward. You guys have a great week. Stay out of trouble, and be on time," she instructed us, then turned and left the room. We all waited to hear the beep from the front door opening and closing before we began discussing our job assignments.

"Don't you think it's a little strange they'd have us work with kids, when the nation is going to see how inappropriate we are outside of work?" Emmett asked the rest of us while he scanned the papers in his folder. "I mean, will people really want _our_ fucked up minds molding _young_, fucked up minds?"

"These kids are probably lucky they have anyone at all, let alone good role models. That being said, I think we can all manage to behave four hours a day, five days a week," James spoke up.

"These poor children, how could they grow up without having someone in their life who cares about them?" Alice asked, sounding overly depressed and extremely naive.

"James is right, we can handle ourselves just fine four hours a day without spewing perverse comments. Well, most of us anyways," Edward pointed out, smirking towards Tanya, who giggled on cue.

"Speak for yourself," Emmett mumbled in return, then ducked from the couch pillow Rose had sent his way.

I was slightly uncomfortable with the direction of our discussion. Talking about unwanted children struck a nerve that was a bit too close to home for me. I was already feeling overly attached to the kids I hadn't even met yet just after glancing at their photos.

_You can do this. If anyone in this house can understand them, it's you,_ my evil self motivator whispered in the back of my head.

Edward's hand was suddenly over mine on my knee. He gave it two quick pulses, and I forced a smile before looking away towards the computer room. I wished I could reach out to the one person I used to be able to go to whenever I'd start to feel sorry for myself, thanks to my fucked foundation when it came to family, or lack thereof.

"I'm going to check my email real quick," I whispered softly to only him so he'd understand my sudden departure.

He nodded his head and gave me one of his delicious crooked grins, before I kissed his cheek and stood up to leave my housemates behind, wanting to escape the escalated conversation on the importance of children growing up with a family who loves them.

I certainly had nothing I was willing to add, so it was pointless for me to stick around.

I collapsed onto the computer chair and turned on the monitor, then leaned back with a sigh while I rubbed my eyes feeling overly tired for some reason.

_That's your subconscious wanting cuddle time to begin early tonight_, an evil voice mocked me in return for my impulsive eye rubbing action.

I smiled to myself, seeing Sam's account signed on. Within seconds, I was being notified that he had requested a video chat. I frowned for a moment, not sure if this was a good idea. Like I said before, Sam was our papa bear. He made you talk about things, even if you didn't want to. He was the only one who ever dared to push.

After giving in to the request, I smiled seeing his nervous stare on my screen, then waved a hello without saying a word.

"Hi Bells."

"Hey Sam," I could feel my smile raise just a little at the sight of him relaxing over the sound of my returned hello.

"Sorry about Jake the other night, he's still trying to figure out how to function without you being around," Sam joked lightly, but I knew there was some truth to his words, which that made me frown again.

"He's doing okay though, right? Staying out of trouble, going to class?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of me. My eyes scanned the doorway, catching Edward's eavesdropping expression and my frown instantly furthered itself.

"One sec, Sam," I slowly stood up and gave Edward a warning look, then pushed the door closed with my hand before sitting back down in front of the computer. "M'kay, back."

"So you ready for your date tomorrow?"

"I guess," I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. "I imagine it's going to be a lot like hanging out with one of you guys solo," I teased, making him blush. "Well, not so much you, seeing how Emily now owns your dick," I teased again, seeing his face instantly turn red.

"She's a good girl."

"Yeah yeah, she hates my guts," I laughed with an eye roll, knowing he wouldn't be able to argue with me. "She's going to let you come though, right? I mean, I'll pay for her ticket, too, if that's the only way she'll let you go without castrating you first," I quickly told him, panicking over the idea that he might not make the trip to visit me.

"I'm going to come. She might too, she hasn't decided yet. If she does, she'll pay her own way, just like I'm paying mine. I'll have a check for you when we get there," he warned with a returned smile.

I'd already known he would do that so I didn't argue with him, "Whatever, you need to let me spoil you guys sometimes. How else am I going to spend these millions before I die?" I toyed again, and he shook his head at me with a humored smile. "So, we got our job assignments tonight," I added, abruptly changing the subject.

"Oh yeah, are you going to be on poop duty like last season?"

"Nope, kid duty… foster kids in a group home. Keeping them busy after school," I answered, looking down at the keyboard.

"Huh, that should be… wow. You should have your work cut out for you. Are you gunna be able to handle looking into a mirror like that five days a week?" he asked, getting all analytical on me.

"Stop it, I need support, not pressure!" I replied with a sigh, then bit at my bottom lip.

"Release the pout, Bells, you know I'm teasing. You'll do fine. Who knows, maybe this will be good for you. We're here if you ever have a rough day and need to talk, you know that," he reminded me, then threw me one of his familiar reassuring grins that always seemed to relax me.

"Thanks Sam."

"Anytime, kiddo, we miss you."

"I miss you guys, too, but this is good for me. I need to know I'd be okay out there in the real world, without having you all as my safety net."

"We'll always be your safety net, Bella, whether you want us to be or not," he answered with a stern but caring stare.

I laughed lightly and nodded my head, knowing he was right, but insisted this was still something I needed to do. Especially after everything that had happened between Jake and I.

"Are you doing what you promised?" he asked, catching me by surprise.

I shifted my weight in my seat and pulled at the zipper on Edward's hoodie, which I'd recently made my own, then shook my head, "Yeah," I lied, creating a frustrated sigh from his end of the conversation.

"Bella, remember what Dr. Banner said. You were doing good again, right before you left."

"Right. I gotta go Sam, tell everyone I said Hi, Jake too. I'll be on later in the week to give you guys a play by play of my date. Night, babe," I told him, abruptly ending the conversation then blew a kiss towards the web cam while he continued to frown in my direction. My limits were not new to him so he was well aware that it was pointless to argue with me.

Before he could say anything else, though, I signed off and shut down the computer.

I wasn't in the mood to be talked to, especially if I had the option of just turning it off.

A part of me felt guilty, but it was too late to fix that because he was most likely already on the phone with Jake or Paul, ranting over my inability to be honest with him about the fact that I was not doing what I'd promised to do while I was away from them. I was fine though, they didn't need to worry. Not about me.

For the rest of the night I kept to myself, while the rest of my housemates played poker and told stories about their first sexual experiences. Just before my turn, I slipped away from the group to head upstairs. I definitely wasn't in the mood to share that story with the world this evening. I was also still feeling very sleepy, so I decided to change into my pajamas and pull Jane out to play some music from my bed before giving in to sleep. After leaning forward and turning my head down, I began humming while I played some of my favorite Dashboard songs, every once in a while letting a few words slip between my lips. I'd lost track of the time, and when my fingers finally began to ache, I was forced to take a break. I opened my eyes and did a double take, noticing Edward was laying on his bed, watching me.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I asked, pulling at his hoodie that I was still wearing.

"No, sorry, I couldn't help myself. I love those songs," he explained, smiling at me with his head propped in his open palm.

I rolled my eyes at him and strummed my strings one more time before leaning over to rest my guitar against the wall beside my bed.

"What are you doing over there? Is that what feels _natural_? You sitting on your bed all alone, when I'm over here, all alone?" I asked, trying my best to sound bored with my own question. He smiled and slowly got up from his bed to lay down beside me. After wrapping his arms around me and bringing me in against him to take a deep breath beside my ear, he softly asked if I was feeling alright while I pulled my comforter up around us.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" I was smirking at his question while he nuzzled his nose deeper into my neck, trying to tease me with his breath against my skin.

"You didn't have a single drink today, that's pretty unlike you," he shared, causing me to frown. He was right though. It was unlike me.

"I'm not sick. I feel fine, just sleepy. Too many late nights this past week. It's all catching up to me," I told him, being absolutely honest. His hand made its way across my hip to draw me in further against him, and I closed my eyes to the feeling of his breath on my cheek after he'd pulled my hair back behind me. Slowly, I placed my hand over his to bring it lower, past my belly button, just above the tied lace of my lounge pants, hoping he'd respond to my suggestive action.

If we were going to do this friends with benefits thing, then tonight I was taking full advantage, dammit.

I couldn't help it, I felt the overwhelming need to have him on me. Just cuddling wasn't going to cut it. I needed to feel his hands on my body and my lip between his teeth.

If I were being entirely honest, though, what I really needed was the distraction of having a man between my legs. It would make everything else go away. This craving was nothing new for me.

Quickly, I turned myself around in his arms and brought my hand through his hair to pull his face down, bringing my lips to his before he could say anything. I didn't want to talk about anything, I just wanted to forget about everything else and get lost in his arms. I didn't even care that Jasper was still on duty in the corner of the room watching us with his camera silently. That was the least of my concerns. I knew he'd get lost if things got too heated and we lost track of the comforter that was currently shielding us.

I moaned against Edward's lips, feeling his hand tug at the bow of my pants to loosen its hold around me. My mouth moved over his slowly, with care and purpose, wanting to feel every movement his tongue made against mine, before he took my bottom lip between his teeth playfully- another signature move of his that I absolutely loved. I opened my eyes, which was something I rarely did in moments like this, and smiled over his kiss.

When you looked into their eyes things got risky.

It was something I always tried to avoid. Why I had decided to ignore that caution with Edward was beyond me, but our eyes were now locked, and his hand was now making its way down my belly towards my already soaked panties. At the feel of the moisture between my legs, he moaned bringing his lips back to mine with hunger clearly on his mind, finally breaking our trance and returning the feelings of pleasure I was craving.

Yeah, because my pussy had powers like that.

I quickly pulled the comforter up further around us as he turned me around so my back was pressed against his chest. He was nibbling on my ear, bringing goose bumps across every limb of my body, when he whispered that he wanted me to remove my top. The fact that his fingertips had just found their way to my throbbing clit definitely helped his request. He was using his touch to talk me into going topless for him. I was no fool. He was silly for thinking I'd need coaxing, though.

Before he'd even finished his sentence, I was sitting up and tossing my shirt across the room. I turned towards where Jasper had been standing, covering my breasts with my arm, then smiled after seeing he'd kept his promise and left the moment things reached an NC-17 level.

_It pays to help the camera guy land a kiss from the girl of his dreams. _

"He's gone, I knew that before asking," Edward admitted with a smirk. I removed my arm so that I was now straddling him topless in my bed and watched his smirk raise itself into an adorable grin while he eyed my body. "You're really something to look at, Bella."

"Gee, thanks," I teased rolling my eyes at his awkward statement.

"That was a compliment. I could stare at you for hours and never get bored," he whispered sweetly, while sitting up to wrap his arms around my waist. I wrapped my own legs around his hips and shushed him with my finger over his mouth.

"To much talky-talky," I warned, then attacked his face with my lips again before pushing him back down onto the bed. His hands reached out to twist my pointed nipples, and I moaned further into his mouth wanting to feel more of him. I moved my hips over the hard-on he was harboring in his sweat pants underneath me. He growled playfully and sat up again, sitting me back in his lap before running his hands down my spine, pressing me firmly against him while he pulled my hair to the side, giving him better access to my neck. Slowly, he moved me back so that I was now laying supine in the bed while he ran kisses further down my body. I closed my eyes over his touch, feeling every part of my body come alive under his fingertips. He stopped for a moment, just below my left breast, and I instantly knew why.

"It's Italian," I warned him, smiling down at his perplexed expression over the small, cursive script tattooed on the delicate skin there.

"Yeah… I think I figured out part of it, love…"

"Yourself first," I finished for him, slightly annoyed that he knew some Italian. Quickly, I pulled at his hair to bring his lips back up to mine so we could get back to business before he could begin to overanalyze the meaning behind my tattoo.

His kiss deepened, and I quickly molded my hips back over his lap wanting to rub myself further over him once more, before he slowly turned us both onto our sides facing one another. I smiled at the sound of his moan in my ear after he'd returned his opened hand to my panties. His fingertips moved slowly across my slicked opening, dipping one single digit past my entry, then bringing it in and out smoothly several times. He added another, brushing my clit with his thumb, while I helped move my body over his skilled hand, together creating a rhythm unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

"Fuck," I moaned against his forehead. Edward pulled himself away to look down under the comforter, watching his handiwork in action. He was leaning over me now, breathing heavily as he whispered a quick instruction for me to completely remove my pants and panties. I obeyed his wishes, with his fingers still moving across my pussy, and lifted my bottom off the mattress so I could push away the pestering articles of clothing.

"You're so beautiful, Bella, I can't even tell you what the sight of your naked body does to me," he whispered beside my ear after laying himself back down next to me. His hand smoothed across my cheek as he tucked one of my locks back above my head where it was resting against the pillow. I closed my eyes, anticipating his lips, creating a nervous smile across my face over the seemingly unfamiliar butterfly feeling they had brought along with them.

_So even sober, he's magical. Fuck me._

He slowly turned my chin, pressing his lips instead to my forehead while he continued to massage my soaked opening with his talented fingertips, bringing moan after moan from my partially opened mouth.

"Edward, I-want-you," I requested, unable to hide the desperation in my tone after I'd run my hand down his stomach, past his navel to grasp his firmed cock beneath the material of his pants. Just the feel of him sent a shiver down my spine, straight to the spot where Edward's fingers were currently rubbing tiny circles over my pulsing lady parts.

"Not yet. We can take this _new_… _arrangement_… slowly. I'm not going anywhere, neither are you," he replied after removing his hand from the space between my legs. For a moment I thought he was going to leave me hanging there, completely unsatisfied, but then he grinned, and my eyes instantly narrowed. I watched him raise his fingers to his mouth and slide them between his lips, sucking my juices from each individual digit without ever breaking our stare.

_You have to be fucking kidding me!_

"Let me make you cum, Bella. This way." I smiled up into his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. I was more than slightly annoyed he'd refused me his cock, but if he was willing to get me off in other ways then he was free to pass go- just so long as I got to get him off at the same time. I'm pretty skilled in the art of hand induced release. Never once had I received a complaint, thanks to the lessons I'd received from Paul back when we were sixteen… or was it fifteen… whatever. Like I said, early bloomer, and I learned from the best. Lots of life lessons that rainy afternoon.

"Pants down,_ keeper-of-the-peen_," I prompted, smirking in the direction of his obviously thrilled dick after he'd followed my cue in less than three seconds. "First things first, we need some lubrication," I informed him and slid myself down his body to take his gorgeous rod between my craving lips. He moaned, latching onto my dreads while guiding my mouth over the smooth skin of his solid perfection. I gave him what he wanted for a few more seconds, then sat up to return myself beside him while my hand stayed latched onto his erect cock, pumping him effortlessly with my own flawless rhythm as his fingers made their way back to my sensitive spot.

"Fuck, I can't wait to have you without someone else watching in a control booth," he moaned against my ear before taking it between his teeth, while my wrist worked his mouth watering piece between us.

"I'm not sure you'd survive me," I teased, slowing the pace of my hand while his own pulsed my clit in response. His touch was unbelievably skilled. It was almost as though he had a map of my body and knew just what areas would elicit a reaction from me. With every move he made, I could feel myself come closer and closer to screaming his name.

"Careful, Bella, or I'm going to beat you to the finish line," he warned, looking down to watch my hand move up and down over him. Catching his pre-cum with my fingertip, I brought it between my lips and circled my tongue around it playfully while smiling into his eyes.

"Doubtful, I'm just about there," I moaned after tasting him. I quickly returned my hand around him and quickened my pace against his solid cock while my eyes watched his own hand working over the wetness he had caused my body to release.

"Christ, I'm so glad to hear that," with one more press of his finger I felt my body lose itself completely.

"Fu-uck, Ed-WARD!" And with my stuttered expletive, I felt some of his own reward hit my stomach while the rest of it dripped down my hand that was still clenching his beautiful dick.

"That was nice," I smiled with my eyes still closed, while he continued to rain kisses down my neck, biting at my collar bone playfully.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. My gift to you. I could tell you needed a distraction," he teased, pulling himself away from me so we could clean ourselves up.

"Well thanks for the charity," I toyed back.

In the back of my head, though, I found it incredibly ironic that he had used the same word I had internally used myself while describing why this little romp was needed.

"I'm all about giving out gifts, especially when I get one in return," he joked after reaching over to pick up his shirt off the ground. He offered it to me so I could wipe my hand and stomach clean, then slipped his pants on before settling back down beside me. "I think we will both be getting some good sleep tonight," he added with a smirk while he watched me return my own shirt over my body. I rolled my eyes but nodded my head, agreeing with him.

"Going to bed before nine, this is ridiculous," I added, laying back down beside him. I could still feel his heart beating at a fast pace against my back, and it made me smile.

"If it means more time to have you in my arms, I'm game," he teased beside my ear before kissing my cheek one last time.

I frowned wishing he'd keep those sweet lines to himself. "Good night, Edward," I replied with warning in my tone.

"Night, Rock Star."

* * *

It was Monday, and I'd spent most of the morning and afternoon experimenting with new chords on Jane while Edward surfed the web for information about his fellow skate buddies. He'd taken it upon himself to tell me a little about the competition he and his friend had been talking about last night. I was surprised when he admitted he was toying with the idea of signing up for it. I was even more surprised when he asked me if I'd come and cheer him on, if he did decide to enter.

What shocked me the most, though, was my impulsive answer. I shook my head yes and told him I would be there, if he did indeed locate his balls in order to sign up.

It was nearly eight and Aro would be arriving any minute for our date. I felt like I had a million thoughts running through my head without any way to sort them out. I'd just finished applying my makeup and squeezing myself into my tight on the bottom, loose on the top, gray mini dress when Edward came in and flopped himself down on his bed to watch me put my shoes on.

"You look nice," he mumbled after looking me over, then picked up his magazine to open it in front of him.

"Thanks, I've never been on a date before so I wasn't really sure about how I should dress," I teased, trying to keep things light.

My date tonight was definitely needed. Especially after our little finger bang-hand fuck adventure. I didn't need Edward thinking it had been anything more than sexual release for me. What better way to prove that than by going out with another guy twenty four hours later?

_Rule Number 107 To Having Friends With Benefits: You never let one guy think they've become something exclusive… or inclusive. Case in point, Jacob Black._

"It's a shame you're going to pop that cherry with him," I heard Edward reply, and I frowned, wishing he'd kept his true feelings to himself.

"You promised, this will be the first test to whether or not _you_ can really handle this arrangement we've got going," I reminded him and stood up with a sigh. "Do you have any plans for tonight?" I asked, changing the conversation only slightly.

"I think were all going out, don't know where yet. Do you think you'll be out late?"

"I haven't a clue. I'm not even sure what were doing. I may be back in an hour for all I know," I told him honestly, then moved myself over to his bed to lay back beside him. "Don't make this harder on me than it already is," I requested softly, tapping his foot with my own.

"If it's hard, maybe you shouldn't be going? Just throwing that out there," he teased, knowing that wasn't exactly what I was talking about.

Hanging out with Aro wasn't what would be hard on me, that would be the easiest thing I'd done since arriving in Charleston. This was something I needed to do. If our arrangement was going to work, if I was going to successfully prevent myself from feeling too much… From time to time I would need to focus on other things besides Edward and his magical mouth and holy hands.

I needed to keep myself distracted, no matter what it took.

That's what was going to be hard.

"You should go out and have fun, don't worry about me. Please?" I insisted, then kissed his cheek after hearing the doorbell chime downstairs.

"Alright, fine. Have a good time. Just… _please_, be safe," he called after me with a hint of stress in his tone.

"I always am, M&M, no worries. I'll see you later," I promised, then blew him one more kiss before crossing through the beaded curtain in our doorway to head downstairs for my very first ever, date.

When I got to the bottom of the staircase, Aro was already waiting for me with an adorable grin on his face. "You look gorgeous, beautiful as always," he greeted me, bringing a smile to my already blushing face.

"Thanks, you clean up pretty nicely yourself," I replied in all honesty, then heard Rose snicker behind us while she watched our exchange from the kitchen doorway.

"Hey Rose, nice to see you sober," Aro called out to my housemate. She rolled her eyes with a snicker in response, then turned with a flip of her hair to head back into the living room where everyone else was hanging out.

"Hey, Edward, how's it going?" my date asked the other man in my life after he'd descended the steps with his eyes locked on me and only me. I shifted my weight nervously and felt a smile creep across my face at the sight of Edward extending his hand out to shake Aro's.

"Going good. Got any big plans for this evening?" he asked casually after leaning up against the wall, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Well, nothing too out of this world, but you'll have to ask Bella about my grade after I get her home."

Edward's expression remained flat, and I instantly found myself impressed by his ability to act like a human being towards someone else I was choosing to spend my time with.

"Have a nice time," he managed to get out without it sounding too jaded, and my smile rose even further.

_Yup. Definitely a passing score._

I watched him push his body away from the wall and gave a slight head nod in response to the short smile he sent my way before disappearing into the other room.

"Ready to go?" Aro asked.

He took my hand into his and opened the door with his other arm, while I shouted a loud, 'see you guys later', to the other room where I knew massive whispering was now taking place.

_Poor Edward, he's going to have to finally deal with all of their intrusive questions on his own._

_Oh well… comes with the territory. He wanted in, now he's in._

_Well, in theory, he hasn't actually been in-in yet._

I smiled at my date when he opened the truck door for me, then slid into the seat of his black pickup truck, taking a deep breath in while I watched him cross in front of the vehicle to get into the driver's side. As soon as he was seated his phone rang, and I was frowning.

I hated cell phone interruptions. I'd been mortified to find out we would actually be required to carry one around with us while we were doing the show. Even back home in Oregon, I refused to use such a device. If people got along without them ten years ago, we should be able to do just fine without them now.

At least that's how I saw things. Plus, it was a great way to become that 'unreliable friend' simply because you were always unreachable, without ever actually having to do anything that would deem you unreliable.

Life is so much easier when you're not expected to ever do things, or show up anywhere.

"I told you guys not to bug me tonight. Chris promised he had it all under control. Unless the place is on fire or being robbed, I don't exist for the next three hours. I'll be in to close," he warned lowly, then clicked the phone off and apologized for the interruption. "I hate cell phones, and if I didn't own a bar I would refuse to even have one."

I looked at him, hardly believing what he'd just said, and laughed with a smile sneaking past my lips, "I feel the same way. I mean I don't even own one back home. This thing is my first ever, and I barely know how to use it," I told him, flashing the fancy piece of technology the show had given us in my hand before returning it to my bag.

"Deep down you're a very old fashioned kind of girl aren't you, Bella?" he asked, grinning at me after stopping at a traffic light. "Seatbelt," he reminded, and for a moment I though about Edward and his own seatbelt warnings, then felt something ache inside of me.

_Stupid girl. Stop that. You're on a date with another cock… er… man. Mind your manners and stop being sentimental before you get yourself into trouble._

"Thanks, seems I don't have very good road safety," I mumbled, then smiled to myself before asking him where we were heading.

"I happen to be a fairly good cook, so I've already got dinner started for us at my place."

"Oh, I um, er, I probably should have mentioned," I start to stutter before he shushed me by placing his pointer finger over my mouth.

"You don't eat meat. I already know," he insisted, shooting me a proud smirk before redirecting his attention back out towards the road.

"I'm really going to have to talk to Emmett, aren't I?" I asked with a smile of my own, causing Aro to laugh before turning off the main road to head towards one of the more upper class areas of Charleston. "You live over here?" I asked, surprised by the houses we were currently passing along the oceanside.

"I told you I had a few surprises," he joked as he pulled into the drive way of a white and yellow cottage style home with a white picket fence, right on the ocean.

"You're kidding?" I couldn't believe this was where he lived. It looked like something out of Pleasantville.

"It was my mom's. I grew up here. When she died I couldn't bring myself to sell it, so I sold my condo in town instead and moved out here," he explained, turning the engine to his truck off and instructing me to sit tight while he got out to open the door for me.

"I'm sure living on the beach has been really hard on you. Beach brat," I mocked as soon as he took my hand to help me out. He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, then shared it had been much easier to roll out of bed and go downstairs to work when he'd lived above the bar, but he had no real complaints.

Once inside, I grinned at the smell of something delicious being cooked in the kitchen.

"It's nothing fancy, just a vegetarian quiche I found the recipe for online."

"Babe, anytime a man cooks for me, I consider it fancy," I corrected him, then took a seat at the counter top while my eyes continued to scan my surroundings. This was definitely a mom home, and he obviously hadn't done much to make it his own yet, but something about that made me smile even more. Family portraits hung on the walls of the living room while roosters seemed to be the major theme in the kitchen. It was cozy and comfortable, and I was already feeling at home for some reason.

"So, you were taping Tanya and I last night, huh?" I asked wickedly, not wanting to linger on any fluffy moments in my head for too long.

Aro looked up from the stove after checking in on his dish and smirked back at me, "Can you blame me?"

I rolled my eyes and warned him that he needed to refrain from putting that out on the web till after the show was done airing. "The network might frown upon you stealing hits from them and their own clips," I teased sarcastically. He agreed, then prompted me to take a seat at the table where he'd already set out plates, cloth napkins, and silverware.

So far this date stuff didn't seem so bad. Joking, laughing, flirting and eating. I can totally handle this.

* * *

We had both been picking at our plates and talking about various bands we'd seen play live for the last hour or two when Aro's doorbell chimed, signaling he had a visitor. I frowned, unable to hide my disappointment, but I was also thankful for the interruption. Quickly, I made my way to the trash can to scrape my plate and drop it in the sink just before Aro returned with two new bodies beside him.

"Bella, you remember my buddy Demetri from the bar, this is our friend Felix. Actually, I was thinking we could introduce Felix here to your housemate James. I think they'd get along great."

"Why, because he's gay? Must all gay men just get along together, Aro?" the tall dark haired guy asked with a smirk while giving me the once over. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Bella. I'm looking forward to seeing you on stage tomorrow night. These two haven't stopped raving about your performance from last week."

I blushed and thanked him quietly, then took another sip from my wine glass before casually making my way towards Aro, who was quietly discussed something with Demetri off to the side of the kitchen.

As soon as I was within eavesdropping distance, their conversation stopped, and I narrowed my eyes over the discovery of obvious secret keeping. I didn't like hushed talkings… or secrets… and usually hushed talking always led to secrets.

"You look nice tonight," Demetri shared with a grin while walking past me to head towards the fridge. I watched him open its door and lean down to check out its contents. He grab a beer and flashed me a wink after catching my eyes on him. I smiled in return, then looked away feeling a little embarrassed thanks to my tipsy state. "How about you give us a little private show, Bella, since were all here?" Demetri asked, revealing another smirk before leaning against the counter top beside me.

"I um, don't have my guitar here," I answered, then crossed my arms in front of me waiting for his next move.

_Are you flirting with someone else while on your first ever date woman? Behave you stupid, insensitive girl!_

"Aro has all kinds of guitars here, has he not shown you his play room yet?" Demetri asked, shooting his friend an overly shocked expression.

"You guys pretty much interrupted all my showing and telling," my date spoke up, then stepped beside me to drape his arm over my shoulder and bring me in closer to him. He was obviously reminding his buddy that he'd already staked some kind of claim on me. I was surprised to realize his action bothered me only slightly.

_You really need to talk to him about your ways, Swan_. A voice reminded me, _Or else this little corner you're backing yourself into with him just might explode, and we don't need or want that. Do we?_

"Oh, so sorry, Romeo. Let's just smoke this real quick, and we will be on our merry way then, yes?" Demetri asked, waving a nice sized, tightly rolled joint between his fingertips.

I looked at Aro, surprised, but also excited over the possibility that I might get the chance to kick back and get a little light headed without there being a camera watching my every move.

Thankfully, Jasper had left us after the first half hour of our date. That was apparently how this worked. Aro could allow them in his house, and they were free to tape, but he got to allot the amount of time they were welcomed once he signed a release. I was surprised when he agreed to give them any time at all, let alone a half hour.

"You game?" he asked, seeming a little shy over the situation.

"Do I not fit the stereotype?" I teased, referencing my hair, then shoved him playfully.

"Sorry, I was raised to never assume anything about anyone," he smirked back, then pulled me in to kiss my forehead before guiding me around the bar top to cross through what looked to be his incredibly untidy laundry room that led to the garage of his house. I smiled, noticing the shag carpeting and tagged walls with two old worn down looking sofas placed in the back of the room. It had all kinds of musical instruments scattered in random places, and I was instantly in my own fantasy land.

This was definitely more like him.

This was more like what I had been missing.

Back home, the guys and I would sit in a room just like this at Sam's house, and it was a room just like this were we would spend most of our free time together.

"I told you, we like to jam here," he spoke up, reading my expression while I made my way over to an old western style Gibson guitar.

"May I?" I asked, already smiling with anticipation.

He nodded his head and walked around the room to fetch the ashtray that had been sitting on a stool by the window and tossed Demetri a lighter.

I watched him light the joint at his lips and took a deep breath in, appreciating the aroma that filled the room almost instantly. Back home me and the guys would celebrate every Friday night with an end of the week pow-wow session. It was another part of my scandalous routine I was missing from back home. Instant relief from my pestering internal back talk.

"Play us something, T.V. girl," Aro requested after taking a seat beside me on the beat up sofa.

I nodded in agreement, but told them I wouldn't be singing tonight. I needed to save my voice for tomorrow. It made me smile when they actually got my sarcasm, just like my boys back home would have, but I was surprised when they didn't try to push me past my comfort zone. That was unexpected.

"Deal, no singing, just playing. We can live with that," Demetri agreed, then tossed me a pick from his pocket.

I caught it with my right hand and shot him a smirk, then quickly got to work strumming on the strings of the borrowed guitar I had draped in my lap while they passed their spliff around the room. When it was my turn, I stopped playing and set the guitar aside to take the smoking object from Aro's finger tips and bring it to my mouth for a slow inhale. Holding the fresh taste in my lungs for a few solid seconds before exhaling slowly, I fell back against the couch with an instant smile on my face.

"I've missed that," I confessed out loud, still with my eyes closed. I felt something touching my thigh and looked down to find Aro's hand tracing the smooth skin of my legs with his fingertips suggestively, while I took one more drag before passing it over to Felix.

"What's it like having someone watch you almost twenty-four-seven like that? And to know millions of people are going to see some of the most important moments that happen in your life during the next three months?" Felix asked, breaking the silence while eyeing me carefully.

"Truthfully? I'm no stranger to voyeurism so the way the show is taped is really no big deal to me. The first two days or so were a little tricky, but now I hardly even notice them. Once you accept it, it's pretty easy to just go about the way you normally would. Plus, we've gotten to be pretty good friends with the main camera guy so we've been able to influence him a little," I told them, then leaned my body against Aro, whose hand was still moving up and down my leg slowly. He changed his position to move his arm back over my shoulders and pressed my head against his chest while his fingers began rubbing against the skin of my arm and the back of my neck.

"So as soon as the show wraps you head back to Oregon? You guys are here till the end of October, right?" Demetri asked, throwing Aro a glance that I didn't miss.

"That's the plan. All my friends are back there. I don't have any family, so they're all I've got," I told them and watched Aro exhale a puff of smoke from his lips before again handing me the object that was still being passed around the room. I took my hits and nuzzled myself deeper against him, feeling nice and relaxed now. I kissed his cheek and sat up to bring the guitar back into my hand so that I could begin playing another Straylight Run song.

"Is that the one you're going to play tomorrow?" he asked, watching me with a smile.

"Mmmhm. I think so, what do you think?" I asked, glancing up at him for a moment.

"I think, I can't wait to hear you sing it, and I think we could play the back up parts for you too. If you'd like," he answered, grinning into my eyes with something else clearly on his mind. Slowly, he took the guitar from me to place it back on the ground and pulled me into his lap.

"Jesus, Aro, I haven't seen you this obsessed over touching something in a long time," Demetri snickered while keeping his eyes on Aro's hands that were teasingly traveling back up my skirt at a slow pace, in a very sexual manner.

"Can you blame me?" he asked with a quiet laugh, then attacked my neck with his teeth, sending me into a quake of embarrassing giggles.

I was ticklish. Sue me.

"St-stop," I pleaded, trying to wiggle free from his grasp, but he wasn't letting go. In my struggle to get away, the bottom of my dress was rising dangerously high to the black lace thong I was currently sporting.

Thankfully, Aro, being the protective date he was, noticed the situation and settled his attack, helping slide the gray material back down my thighs before carefully setting me down beside him on the sofa we were still sharing.

I smiled and looked away, wanting to locate the joint. I was hoping to get it at least one more turn before they put it away.

Demetri smirked and stood up to walk towards us, then passed me what I was looking for and suggested to Aro that he drop them off at the bar on his way to bring me back to my house.

"Where's your car?"

"Marcus dropped us off. My cars still in the shop. I get it back tomorrow. Actually, I was hoping I could sleep here and you could give me a lift in the morning?" Demetri requested after returning to his own seat.

"Yeah sure, whatever. You ready to head back?" he asked, watching me exhale my last inhale before coughing lightly.

"M'hm, yeah. Whatever you want," I was a little bummed we would be leaving the privacy of his home without me getting any real play time out of the night, but after this little trip to the garage, I had a feeling I'd be too relaxed to do anything for the next hour or so.

"Is that a synthesizer?" I asked, noticing a piece of musical equipment in the corner of the room that wasn't even set up.

"Yup, I never use it anymore. You want it?" he offered, and I felt my mouth drop open.

"You mean to keep?"

"Well, while you're here in town, sure." He answered with a smile, then stood up to retrieve it for me. I watched him dust it off and felt the smile spread across my own face while I envisioned getting to mess around with it.

"That would be awesome! Thanks!" I couldn't hide my excitement. Anything involving music made me act like a ten year old in a toy shop.

"I trust you," Aro insisted just above a whisper, then leaned down to kiss my lips gently before snaking his arm around my back. He brought me up against him, his hand sliding down my hip to draw me further into him so he could have access to my ass, squeezing it lightly three times before releasing me. I laughed at his action and hugged him again, while thanking him for lending me the new toy, then followed him and his buddies back through the house so we could pile into his truck.

* * *

Unfortunately, because Aro's truck was really only built for three passengers, I'd had no choice but to sit on Demetri's lap on the way to the bar .

_Some date this has turned out to be… you're in the lap of another man, woman. Something tells me this is breaking all kinds of first date rules._

_Look, he's the one who insisted I sit on top of his friend._

_Leave. Me. Alone!_

Once we parked behind the bar, Aro opened his door and offered his hand out to me so he could help me slide out from his side of the truck. Demetri, of course, assisted by placing his hands at my hips to lift me up off of him. Once standing, I took Aro's hand into mine and kept it there while he escorted me through the back door of his bar, smiling instantly at the familiar sounds that greeted us inside.

When we got inside, he told Demetri and Felix that he'd come find us in a minute after he'd check in behind the bar, "Keep an eye on this one, she's still acting funny," he told his light haired buddy, while gesturing towards me with a wink of his eye. I giggled again and asked Demetri if he'd help me find a table. He nodded his head and took me by the elbow to help guide me through the fairly crowded room then smiled at me after pointing out a clear spot in the back.

His baby blue eyes looked down into mine as he pulled a chair out for me at a table in the back corner, and I once again felt myself unable to avoid smiling over the way he watched me. My smirk instantly grew when he leaned down towards me so that our faces were only inches apart.

"Can I get you something to drink, Bella?"

"Sure, I'll have whatever you're having," I answered casually, then leaned back in my chair to return my personal space.

For being Aro's buddy, this guy sure wasn't playing by the guy code. Not that I minded, it just didn't seem very… wise. I didn't need two life long buddies getting into it over me before I got the chance to explain my ways to the one who '_saw me first'_.

After Demetri returned with our beers, he took a seat beside me and grinned in my direction while watching me tip the bottle back at my lips. "Oregon, huh? No family?"

"Yup, Oregon. Born and bread, but all alone," I answered with a smirk and took another sip from my drink while he again leaned in closer towards me. I smiled at him after removing my lips from the bottle and shook my head over his obvious flirting.

"How is a girl like you single?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow before turning to scan the room. No doubt looking to see if his buddy had caught on to what was taking place in his bar… on his date… with his date.

"Aro is actually the first guy that's ever been able to talk me into trying this date stuff out, I'll have you kn-" I was rudely interrupted thanks to the sight of someone familiar sitting at a table about twenty feet away with a scandalous redhead in his lap.

"That's one of your roommates right? Oh look, they're all here," Demetri pointed out and started to shout for them.

"Shhhh, let them do their thing," I hissed, grabbing his arm to pull it down under the table. My hand stayed latched over his wrist against my leg and he once again grinned, looking down at the connection we were still sharing. I dropped it immediately and rolled my eyes, then quickly snickered that he wasn't acting like a very good buddy.

"Why's that?" he asked, scooting closer to me. I turned my head from him and squared my shoulders, not wanting to play any of his games. I looked over to catch Edward staring straight in our direction while the red head nibbled at his ear lobe from his lap. I sneered on impulse and looked away, not wanting to see anymore. Quickly, I gulped down the rest of my drink, then slammed the bottle down on the table top and stood back up, brushing my skirt down in front of me.

"I'm going to wait for Aro out back, let him know, okay?" I requested, then turned to leave before he could answer me. I didn't even bother looking over towards my housemates table again, I just kept walking and pushed the back door open with my hand, crossing the gravel parking lot to where my date had parked his truck. A few minutes later, he appeared through the door looking apologetic and promised me our second _outing_ would be nothing like this because he would make sure to plan something that was way outside of town. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, then fell into him with a quiet sigh while he held me up in his arms.

"Tonight was lovely. I should have started this dating stuff much sooner," I informed him, reaching up on my toes to kiss his cheek lightly.

"I saw your housemates were here, does that mean your place is empty?" he asked, already grinning.

"More than likely, I think I counted all seven heads and two camera guys," I answered as casually as possible.

"Well then, let's go take advantage of that hot tub," he suggested, already reading my mind.

_Thank the Lord for delicious distractions._

_

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**A/N: My apologies for the length... what can I say, I like them long... ;)**

**Please, PLEASE visit the blog or at least check out my profile for links to two incredibly hot manips Lolypop82 did for this chapter. Big thanks to her for also being a fabulous pre-reader! I'm so so pleased to report I will be hugging that woman in RL next weekend for the first time ever! Argentina meets Miami, look out! Eeep! **

**So what's Bella running from... what did she promise her boys she would do that she's not doing? Hmmmm... and what kind of chaos will occur when these guys start their job's next week with... KIDS? Poor Rose. **

**Any thoughts on Demetri? Will Aro make progress with Bella when they get back to the house? Now who's your least favorite non housemate... dun dun dunnnnn.**

***Please Review because it makes me smile... and because you get a peak inside Edward's head with an outtake from this chapter.***


	9. Learning How To Be

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Before we get started I wanted to wish a very _happy birthday _to_ imsonotdoingthis_! I hope it was a great one bb! **

**Mmkay, so this is another long-winded chapter. I seriously owe the world to my amazing beta, clarabella75, because I work her hard but she never complains. This is also another interactive chapter. Bella get's on stage again and if you'd like to hear the song she plays you can find a link on my profile or copy paste the following into your browser box thingy: http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v= qM5zAwMcm1Q (minus the spaces and replace the (dot)'s with .'s) **

**This chapter earns it's M rating for it's Citrus, Language, and Loose Morals, *wink***

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**Learning How To Be**

**Chapter 9**

**~~*Bella*~~**

The ride back to the house was quiet, and because of that, I was now finding it incredibly difficult to remain still on my side of the truck. My hands were twitching with anticipation, so I did the only thing I could do. I pulled a cigarette out from my bag then lit it at my lips. Silence was never good for someone like me. Mostly because it usually leads to thinking, and thinking never gets anyone anywhere… _fun_. I didn't want there to be any confusion when it came to what I needed from Aro tonight. There was a definite pattern regarding my cravings for distractions… I did it in order to avoid the feelings that were currently raging through me after seeing Edward with someone else.

Pathetic, but true.

Even though I knew I'd waved my own hypocritical actions right in front of his face, it didn't change the fact that I was now needing a good fuck from elsewhere just to clear the mental image of the she-devil in his lap, with her teeth on his ear lobe and her hand over his crotch.

_Why do you even care?_

_Christ, I don't know! That seems to be the problem, dammit!_

_Why-do-I-care?_

I'd done everything the same, nothing was different. I'd treated the situation the same exact way I always did.

I'd gotten some from him, and now I was out to get some more from someone else.

So ,why was I getting worked up over my roommate flirting with some random girl in public, while I was out on my own date with another man?

_You've had to share your play things before… this should be no different. Don't allow him to be anything different, Swan. Or maybe you don't want to share him. Maybe you want it to be different?_

_Shut up in your face!_

_There's really no other option here, unless of course you're ready to be everything you said you'd never be._

This is why I hate silence. Internal conversations, just like this one, had the potential to ruin everything.

_Fuck-my-life!_

When we got to the house, Aro let me know he had brought back Emmett's swimsuit so he was set with just using those again for our returned visit to the hot tub. I quickly suggested he change in the downstairs bathroom, then went up to my room to do the same, slipping my heels off first so the stairs wouldn't seem so threatening.

I smiled on impulse after going into the bedroom, when I found the skateboard Edward had given me last week laying on my bed, wheels up with something attached to it. It was a note written in cursive handwriting on a small scrap of paper taped to the board.

_Rock Star,_

_Me + You + Jane + Our boards= Tomorrow. When ever you decide to get up. _

_xXx, M&M_

Beside the note was a bag of plain chocolate M&M's.

A smirk spread across my lips over the realization that he was using his nickname, even though he still had no idea what it meant. I grabbed the bag of candy, then folded the note up and slid them both into my dresser before pulling my dress off with my back towards the camera that was blinking in the corner of the room.

And now, thanks to his adorable note, I was craving the distraction downstairs even more.

_Christ, he needs to stop being so fucking adorable._

Once changed, I tied my hair up at the top of my head and skipped back downstairs to find Aro. He was already messing with the stereo that would play music outside on the patio. The memory of Edward with his ginger friend sitting in his lap was still too fresh in my mind and because of that, I desperately needed this. I needed to forget the crumbling feeling my insides had produced when my eyes had witnessed him having her in his arms... where I should have been.

_Shut-the-hell-up! Who. Are. YOU?_

_It's a sad, sad day when you forget every rule you've ever created, Swan._

_It's no wonder you're spiraling._

"How about some… Blow?" Aro asked without turning around to look at me.

"I'm sorry, wh-what?"

"As in the band, The Blow, I see you guys have it in here," he replied, turning around to grin at me. "I only do the natural stuff, beautiful, just so that's clear," he joked, then shot me a wink after pressing play.

I laughed sarcastically at him and insisted I, too, was an all natural girl, and avoided the usage of any and all designer narcotics… almost regularly.

He smiled and told me he already knew that, then glanced out back, gesturing with his head for me to follow him after he'd pressed play on the stereo. Once in the water, he instantly pulled me onto his lap, letting his hands slide down my hips firmly. I smiled at his action, already feeling good about where this was going. My grin raised itself when he turned me around in front of him so I could wrap my legs around his body, while his arms held me in place at my hips to cup my bottom in his opened palms.

"So, on a scale of one to ten you would rate this date a what?" he asked after one of his hands came up out of the water to begin messaging the back of my neck slowly.

I closed my eyes over his touch and thought his question over, then affirmed he'd so far earned a seven.

"Seven?"

"I expected a little more from you tonight, in the _cop-a-feel_ department," I teased with a pretend pout.

_Really? Do you really think you're going to be able to ride this mans dick while thinking about your roommate's delicious ear being nibbled on by some redheaded hoe-bag? Pft. Ridiculous. Oh, what tangled webs we weave._

_Shut-it. __I need this in order to prevent said web weaving!_ I instantaneously reminded myself.

"Really, well I guess it's time for me to put the gentleman card away and act more myself," he answered, breaking me from my pestering thoughts.

"I always want you to act yourself, _nerd_," I insisted, then leaned in to take his bottom lip between my teeth. He moaned against my mouth, and it didn't take me long to feel his _excitement_ after he pulled my hips down towards his body, so I'd be closer against him. His hands held my face in place, forcing my chin up so he could pay attention to my neck just before I let out a quiet breath over the sensation of his fingertips while they traced down my sternum and played with the outside lining of my bathing suit top right beside my already erect nipple.

"You are, without a doubt, one of the most sexual women I have ever come across, Bella. From the moment I saw you, I knew that," he whispered into my ear, then brought it between his teeth to gently bite down. I moved my hips over him, craving to feel more, and tugged at his hair to bring his lips back up to mine while my other hand began traveling down his own chest to cop its own feel.

I was just about to run my fingers over his firmness, from the outside of his bathing suit, when a loud crash startled us both apart. I looked towards the house and saw the kitchen light was on and a body was moving around.

"Fuck, someone's here," I groaned, still trying to catch my breath over the kiss we'd just been pried from.

"Of course they are," he mumbled in return, then lifted me up off of him to set me back down, across from where he sat, still smiling at me.

"I guess we should call it a night anyways, I need to head back to the bar and count the registers out."

"You don't trust other people much do you?" I asked, noticing a trend when it came to his bar ownership responsibilities.

"Other people only fuck things up. Why rely on someone else when I know I can do it right the first time?" he confessed, and I immediately understood what he was saying.

"I've never really relied on anyone else but myself either, and it's never bit me in the ass so, point taken," I replied, then followed him out of the hot tub, feeling utterly disappointed over the fact that I wouldn't be walking with a bit of pain between my legs come tomorrow morning.

_I need a frig'in cock in my cooter. Dammit._

_Edward and his caviler desire to 'take it slow' just might force you to hump the first thing that offers, Swan. I bet he's got his own dick sliding in and out of a bright red bush right this second._

_Why the hell? Shut the hell up! ARGULA!_

Whoever had been in the kitchen before was now gone, but I could hear people moving around upstairs, so I sat on the couch with my towel wrapped around me while my date changed in the bathroom. Once he returned, I nuzzled myself back under his arm and walked us out towards the front door.

Thanks to the both of us being so royally cock blocked, I knew it was pointless to try and talk him into staying.

"How about you come over to my place again tomorrow night after Open Mic?" he asked, sounding hopeful already.

"I think I could make that happen," I replied, then stood on my toes to kiss him goodnight. "Thank you for a wonderful evening. I really had a great time, and thanks again for letting me borrow the synthesizer, " I added and threw a kiss to his cheek before he slapped my ass and agreed he too had enjoyed our date, even if it had suffered from more than one interruption.

I watched him drive away then went back inside, still smiling over the tingling feeling his hands had left behind on my body.

After climbing the stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks over the sight of Edward being the only person in our room, with all the other lights upstairs turned off.

He looked more than annoyed.

"Where's everyone else?"

I was going to be ticked, and more than annoyed myself, if he came home alone hoping to mess things up for the end of my date. Especially after he'd more than likely released a round of his own with his redheaded bimbo in the bathroom of the bar before setting out on this apparent mission to ruin my evening.

All his previously earned points would be tossed out the window, and that would be an absolute shame.

"It's just me. Everyone else wanted to stay longer, but there was a girl there that refused to leave me alone. I needed to get out," he replied, slowly scanning my body in its black bikini with a towel wrapped loosely around my hips. "Did you have a nice time?"

"I did. I mean, I _was_. 'Till something interrupted it. Tisk, tisk, major point deductions, Cullen. And you had done so well earlier, too," I snickered, moving past him to get some pajamas from my drawer. "I'm going to take a shower," I informed him, then bumped his shoulder in passing so I could make my way into the bathroom we shared.

I heard him mumble something under his breath but ignored it, not really wanting to discuss anything further with him at the moment.

_Well, at least he wasn't enjoying the attention from the trampy red head that was in his lap._

_Or maybe he's just saying that because he knew you saw him, and now he's covering his tracks._

_Why are you even concerned? And why would he need to cover his tracks? He's allowed to suck face with anyone he wishes, just as you were five minutes ago. Don't act like you weren't about to go down for some snorkeling, Swan. You were five seconds away from holding it in your hands and taking it into your mouth, then fucking that date of yours till you forgot your own name._

"ARGULA!" I shouted, this time out loud, and kicked the bottom of my swimsuit across the room. I turned around to tie my hair up again at the top of my head, then made my way to the shower stall to turn the hot water on. After walking over to the iPod player, I found my play list for 'The Blow' and grinned to myself.

I figured if I was going to be performing some self gratification, I might as well pick up with the same music we were listening to before I'd been so rudely interrupted.

I wasn't about to let Edward help me out of this situation.

You don't reward bad behavior like that.

My finger pressed play, and I turned back around to step in underneath the falling water, then shut the partially frosted glass door behind me.

As soon as one of my favorite songs came on I smiled, feeling my body relax to something familiar. After closing my eyes, I began humming to myself, hoping I'd be able to forget the sad puppy dog face I'd left behind in the other room. My hands were lathering soap over my body, my fingers ready, when I heard a knock at the door, forcing me to roll my eyes over one more interruption in my returned sexually frustrated life.

I groaned with annoyance clearly in my tone, "Yeah?"

The door cracked open, and I turned to see Edward standing there seemingly nervous.

"Um, can I come in?"

"You're in, aren't you?" I asked while squeezing more of my Twilight Woods shower gel into my hands to begin lathering it down my legs and across my arms.

_Play it cool Swan, he's just another boy… with a magical mouth… and holy hands._

_Shut-it. He's being punished and my ACCP's have been reestablished… temporarily._

"Well I meant more like, in the shower, with you." I turned around again to look at him through the clear glass and couldn't hide my smirk once our eyes met.

_Son-of-a-bitch._

_Pft. Did you really think you'd be able to turn him away? Punishment or not, he has what you need and you need what he's got._

_You silly, silly delusional girl._

_This is what you wanted anyways, just take it and stop thinking it should be treated as anything different than what it is._

_It's just sex… hopefully it's sex… please let there be mind blowing sex…_

I let out a loud sigh and narrowed my eyes at him through the glass, "Is that something that feels natural for you to do, Edward? Get into the shower with me, I mean?" I asked smoothly, seeing a smile spread across his own face.

"I think so," he answered, then pulled his t-shirt up over his head without hesitation. I was already internally moaning over the sight of his shirtless body.

"Then get in here. And hurry before you let all the cold air in," I insisted and pushed the door open for him with my foot. His smile doubled once my naked body was facing him, and I couldn't help but giggle at his reaction while I suggested he come closer with my finger drawing him in.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your date."

"No, you're not. Now hush," I warned him, not wanting to hear any of his white lies. All I needed was his body against mine. I closed the gap between us and pulled him in under the water with me, being sure that my hair was still safely bundled at the top of my head away from cascading drops. I smiled up at him while his hands slid firmly down my hips, removing the bubbles from my skin before his lips met mine with hunger.

Apparently, seeing me with another man had sent him into overdrive.

_Perhaps you will get something besides your own hand between your legs tonight. Good girl._

Edward's cock had been hard from before he'd even stepped into the shower stall with me, but I decided to play with him a little and offered the shower gel to his wanting hands after breaking our lip-lock.

"Get my back?" I requested, then turned myself around in front of him, tilting my ass in his direction just slightly. His hand instantly began rubbing deep patterns over my back and hips. I leaned myself into him as his fingers carefully slid to the front of my body. I could feel his ridiculously solid cock being pressed against my lower back and moaned at the thought of it being pressed between my legs. I couldn't believe how hard it felt just laying against my skin. He wrapped me in a tight embrace from where his hands were now grasping at my perked breasts, and I smiled feeling his lips run down my neck. I closed my eyes further as the realization truly hit me that I may finally get to feel him inside of me… while a camera blinked in the corner.

I knew it couldn't actually see inside the shower stall… only the silhouette of what was taking place… but still… shower sex on television for all the world to see?

_Are you ready to do this? Are you ready to give all of yourself to someone who's already stolen more from you than you'd like? Once we cross this line there's no turning back. You'll be opening all kinds of doors, and you know it._

_You were just kissing another man and craving his dick and now you're about to bend over in front of some other cock?_

_Well… it wouldn't be the first time._

_Stop-it! Stop making me think and just let it happen! Jesus!_

I quickly turned him around and brought his mouth to mine, wanting to feel the passion in his kiss before we took things any further. No one kissed me like Edward- not Aro, not Tanya, not Jake, not anyone from back home. The way he was able to move his mouth over mine… there was no way to even rate the feelings I felt when I was in his arms, and that was one of the many things that scared the shit out of me when it came to letting myself, _go_, with him.

He pulled himself away from me and locked his stare with mine, then slowly got down onto his knees in front of my body under the falling water. He smoothed his fallen hair back with one sweep of his hand and gestured for me to lift one of my legs up onto the bench beside us in the enclosed space of the shower stall.

I didn't even think twice about it. I instantly followed his cue and attached my hand to his hair, while his mouth began working my pussy with diligence.

"Fuck," I moaned over the feel of his tongue, while it danced side to side across my pulsing clit, forming tiny circles in all the right spots. "You're just, Jesus-don't-stop-Edward," I moaned again, then brought him deeper between my legs, feeling more than thankful that I'd given in to him and ignored my behavior modification ways.

I closed my eyes and let my fingers run through his hair. Once the tremors began to take over my body, I began to pulse the back of his neck with every sweep of his tongue and nibble of his teeth. I was reaching my limit, which was no shocker, since he without a doubt had one of the most gifted mouths I'd ever experienced.

I knew I was seconds away from losing myself completely over his talented tongue when two of his fingers began to move in and out beside it, creating the friction I needed with ever lap he made.

"I'm going to cum. Fuck, Edward!"

"Do it, Rock Star," he insisted after removing his mouth from my trembling parts where his fingers were still pumping with ease.

I yelped loudly, continuing to shout his name over and over again while my body convulsed above him. Thankfully, he knew when to stop so that I wouldn't land on my ass at the bottom of the shower stall beside him. He helped me down gently so I could take a seat on the bench and catch my breathing, while he continued to smile at me, seemingly pleased with the effect he'd had on me and my ever pulsing limbs.

"Was that all you needed?" he asked with a devilish grin.

There was still something entirely fucked with the events that were taking place, but I didn't give a damn, I had to have his cock in my mouth, and it had to happen now. I needed to taste him and swallow him down, because I'd been craving more of him ever since waking up in his arms this morning.

_Do NOT utter that out loud._

Actual sex didn't even matter anymore, my desire to have his rod between my parted lips had easily taken over.

I reached my arms towards him and brought his body into mine. Thankfully, because of the positioning of the shower bench, I was at eye level with his most prized possession. I quietly instructed him to point the shower head further behind him so I wouldn't get my hair wet. This was not a new position for me. I knew the precautions, and I was not looking to sleep on a wet pillow tonight. He laughed for a moment, but eventually followed my directions.

Once the water was streaming behind his back, he latched his hand onto the dreads behind my head and pulled so I'd look up into his eyes.

"I've been wanting more of you- on me- all day. I hope you know that."

"Oh, I know that," I teased, creating a bashful smirk on his face once I'd bitten down on my lip seductively.

_When something seems wrong, that's how you know it's right _- Another great quote to live by from my buddy Paul back home.

I clenched his cock firmly with my right hand, while my left made its way to his hip to draw him in closer towards my already opened mouth. I didn't break our stare while I shifted all of him between my lips, but I did smile around his pleasantly pleased dick over the sight of his more than pleased face after I'd managed to take all of him into my mouth. I could feel him at the back of my throat, and I was instantly moaning. I leaned back and lapped my tongue over his perfectly proportioned mushroomed head, licking the tip once more, slowly, before sliding all of him back between my lips with ease. He moaned and increased his grasp at the back of my head, guiding my rhythm effortlessly, even though I didn't need the help.

I already knew what he liked, and how he liked it. Everything just clicked when we would let the _benefits_ of our relationship… _er_… arrangement take over. It was the emotional aspect that scared me shitless, but I ignored that pestering fact and continued to please him the best way I knew how.

The only way I knew how.

All that mattered in this very moment was his satisfaction. I wanted him to go to bed tonight vividly remembering what it had been like to have me on his body with his cock in my mouth and my pussy over his own lips. I wanted him to crave the return of this moment, just as badly as I knew I would once it was over.

"Goddamn, Bella, you're amazing. Best-fucking-head-of-my-fucking-life," he moaned closing his eyes again, while rocking back and forth from his heels to his toes in front of me. I hummed a 'thank you' without removing my mouth from around his shaft, and he laughed, smiling down at me over my returned random politeness. His hands cupped the side of my face gently while I continued to move myself back and forth in front of him, and I could feel his legs beginning to tremble as he neared his own rock star induced orgasm.

"I'm cumming… "

"Mmmmhm," I moaned, already tasting him, then swallowed him back, feeling instant gratification slide down my throat in the most familiar way. Most women would tell you they hated the taste of a man. Not me, though. I enjoyed every last drop of it, then licked his tip seductively before standing back up in front of him to return my lips to his. We continued our passionate embrace, paying extra attention to necks, clavicles, and ear lobes till the water began to run cold down our bodies, signaling we were about to start pruning if we stayed where we were for much longer.

"I'm so glad we decided to do this. It's going to be so much easier on my wrist," he teased, then kissed my neck again playfully before tossing me a towel to dry off. I laughed sarcastically and ran the cotton fabric over my wet body, then slipped into my oversized night shirt before stepping out of the shower stall to pull my yoga pants on. "And you thought this arrangement couldn't work. Pft," he snickered in my ear after getting dressed and stepping up behind me from where I stood in front of the mirror, blotting my hair with my towel. I closed my eyes, feeling his hands work themselves over the top of my shirt, lifting it up so that he could dip his finger tips between the lining of my panties to tease me one more time. His action instantly forced me to run from him, laughing as we went back into our bedroom together.

I collapsed onto my bed, still giggling over his attack. He landed beside me, tucking his hand back in my hair at the base of my dreads to smooth his thumb over my cheek before kissing me softly once more.

We were in the middle of another heavy mouth wrestle when someone suddenly came through the beaded curtain interrupting us.

Apparently, we'd been so lost in our moment, we hadn't even heard the return of our housemates.

I groaned and pulled my t-shirt back down to my waist then tucked Edward's hand safely at my hip before looking up to see who had barged in.

"Hey, Bella. Fancy seeing you here," a slightly familiar voice called out before I could make eye contact.

_No-way-in-hell!_

"What… Demetri?"

"Your friend Tanya invited me over. She sent me up here and told me to wait for her. Guess she didn't expect you two to be mouth fucking, huh? Is this like some house secret I need to keep on the D-L?"

Part of me had to wonder if Tanya hadn't set this up on purpose.

"No. There's no secret here, not within the house," I replied, pushing Edward away from me with an extension of my elbow. Aro and I hadn't exactly discussed my free loving ways yet, though, I knew he'd received several clues that there was something going on between Edward and I. I hadn't been totally upfront yet that while I was seeing him, I was already kind of sort of seeing someone else too... and he happened to live with me.

_Ehm, do we have to refer to it as 'seeing', that sounds so relationship-ish._

_What should we call this twisted mess you're in? We can't exactly say fuck buddy because you're not fucking… yet._

"We enjoy each other's company. The house knows that," I finally spoke up, then sat against the head board of my bed while clearing my throat nervously.

"I'm going to go get a drink while you two talk this out. Bella, do you want anything?" Edward asked.

"Water would be great, thanks." I mumbled, wishing he weren't leaving me alone with Aro's friend.

My mind was blank. I had no idea what to say next, because truthfully, I'd never been in this position before.

_This is what you get for breaking one of your Golden Rules: Always be up front with every cock that perks its interest over your interest._

Aro deserved to hear about this _situation_ from me, not his buddy. I hated to admit it, but I would be really sad if I lost him as a _friend_, so soon during my stay here.

"Listen, Aro and I, we haven't… we're not..."

"I get it, you don't have to explain. I won't say anything to Aro. You have my word. I saw more tonight between you and my buddy than I just did with that guy anyways. No harm done. Besides, he told me you guys weren't exclusive. I figured you'd picked up on my knowledge of that when we were at the bar earlier," he replied smugly, no doubt referring to his own flirtatious behavior.

I instantly rolled my eyes, then breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that he hadn't walked in when Edward and I were still in the bathroom and I'd been screaming his bloody name at the top of my lungs.

"I'm glad I ran into you, though," he added with a slight smirk before taking a seat on Edward's bed a few feet away from me.

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"Well, I already talked to Aro about it, and he gave me the go ahead to ask you… I wanted to see if you'd be interested in coming by my place to sit for some pictures. See, photography is my thing and we kind of run this website. I travel a lot, looking for the right girls, but you just happened to fall into our lap and fit the criteria perfectly, so I wanted to see if I could convince you to think it over."

"What kind of site?" I asked narrowing my eyebrows in his direction.

"It's a pay site with photos and videos of gorgeous girls with tattoos, piercing, pretty faces. That kind of stuff."

"Sorry, the only things pierced on this body are my ears, and those are hardly stretched." I replied with a smirk, crossing my arms in front of me.

"Ah, but you have two out of three… I'd even give you three and substitute the piercing criteria with your hair. I, of course can pay you."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you, but truthfully I really don't need your money. What kind of pictures do you take? I imagine people don't pay for photos of a girl sitting on a couch playing with her _guitar_."

I already knew the exact type of site he was referring to, I just wanted to hear his sale.

This actually wouldn't be the first time I'd been approached for such a thing.

A few years ago, the guys and I had taken a trip down to L.A. for Jake's birthday. While cruising the touristy hot spots, some creepy guy approached me in a club, and pretty much fed me the same lines Demetri just had. Only, he also promised me fame and stardom. Paul had almost talked me into it, suggesting it might be good exposure for my music, but ultimately I'd chickened out.

That was before the big disownment of Bella Swan though. So, in theory, there really wasn't much holding me back these days.

"They're tasteful shots, I promise. Ask Aro, I'm a trained photographer. Sometimes I even shoot at his place. You can check it all out online, DeviantDolls(dot)com," he told me just as Edward came back into the room with Tanya and two bottles of water. "Just take a look, consider it, and let me know," Demetri quietly added, then shot me a wink. I rolled my eyes at his action and returned my attention to Edward.

"So, did we get things squared away?" he asked, plopping back down beside me before bringing his bottled water to his lips.

_Christ, I need those lips back on mine._

_Seriously? It hasn't even been ten minutes._

_Pull your shit together._

I watched Tanya take Demetri by the hand to guide him over towards her bed. She swiftly pushed him down onto her mattress before climbing on top of him to seat herself in his lap with his lips already moving across hers slowly.

I rolled my eyes at her desperation, but I already knew Demetri was about to experience one wild night.

"I think maybe we should go downstairs, what do you think, Edward?" I asked, gesturing towards the other side of the room where Tanya was already dry humping her guest without a care in the world.

Edward laughed and stood back up to extend his arm out to me. He placed his hands at my hips, and we began making our way towards the door when Tanya stopped her assault on poor Demetri to invite us to join their fun. For a moment Edward stopped moving, then gave me a playful look that earned him a slap to his arm.

"Sword crossing," I reminded him, and he quickly continued to move me out the door without even uttering a response to our roommate's suggestion.

* * *

The next morning, for once, I'd woken up before Edward. We'd fallen asleep together on the couch, giving Tanya and Demetri their time alone, even though most of the house could still hear them, no matter how much privacy we tried to give them.

The girl could scream, that we were all very well aware of now.

Edward and I had stayed up till after four in the morning just talking about music, skateboarding, and surfing, while he'd pressed me against his chest and ran his hands up and down my body in a comforting, non-sexual way. His behavior last night, after our shower tryst, had brought on a few new red flags, but I pushed them away, not wanting to dissect or over analyze anything. I just wanted to enjoy the moments and not question what they might lead to at each pause in our day. I'd slept soundly in his arms, and for the first time in weeks, I felt extremely well rested and ready to start my day.

I was in the kitchen, quietly cutting a lemon for my morning water, when Demetri came in, shirtless and smiling at me.

"Glad to see you survived," I teased, then offered him some breakfast, "We have cereal in the pantry and some fruit over there."

"It's cool. I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight, though, at Volturi's. I'm going to play bass while you blow everyone away," he answered, slipping his t-shirt on over his head and pulling it flat in front of him.

"M'kay, tonight then. Let Aro know I'm leaving the guitar playing up to him. I'm going to dabble with the keyboard," I answered back, then started to make my way into the computer room to see if any of my buddies from back home were online this early in the morning.

I knew they'd be dying for a date report.

Well, most of them.

"Bella," Demetri called out quietly before exiting the kitchen. I turned and looked at him with a raised brow, then waited for whatever else he wanted to say to me, but nothing came.

"Yeah?" I questioned, turning myself further around to face him again.

"Nothing, never mind, see you tonight. Don't forget about my request for us to work together," he finally stated, then turned again to head towards the front door of the house without giving me a chance to reply.

I rolled my eyes to myself and took my glass of water with me to go take a seat at the computer and quickly typed in my login information.

After seeing Jake was the only one on, which I should have known since it was Tuesday and he had an early class, I sighed loudly and sat back in my chair.

I spent a few minutes on DeviantDolls(dot)com, finding exactly what I'd expected to see- scantily dressed woman with unique hair, gorgeous tattoos and wild piercings. Some of the photos were a little more revealing than others, but for the most part, Demetri had been right. They were tasteful… and I could see myself agreeing to sit down for him. _If_ Aro agreed that it was safe to trust his photographer friend.

_Your grandfather would not approve. Bad press and all, tisk tisk,_ a wicked voice mocked me, and I was instantly smiling in response.

When Jake still didn't ping me, I decided to make the first move, already expecting the worst after his little tantrum the other day.

**DreadilocksB:** Hey Jake.

**JakeBlack: **Hey Bella.

**DreadilocksB:** Stop it.

**JakeBlack: **Stop what?

**DreadilocksB:** That pity typing. You know I don't tolerate it.

**JakeBlack:** My bad. How was your date?

**DreadilocksB:** It was nice. Thank you for asking.

_I knew better than to really think he actually cared._

**JakeBlack:** Right.

**DreadilocksB:** Okay, well if you can't have a normal conversation with me, then I guess this is pointless.

**JakeBlack:** Do you really want to talk about normal conversations? Because the last one we had face to face was no where *near* normal.

**DreadilocksB:** Jake, there was nothing to talk about. It happened, we prepared, and then it was over. Move on, everyone else has. You said so yourself, everything happens for a reason.

**JakeBlack:** Thats not what I meant when I said that Bella. Besides, it's the why it happened that has me… has all of us concerned, no matter what they say. I'm not the only one worried about you, Bells. The fact that you're on the other side of the country now without any of us there to make sure you're doing what you should be doing, it's not good and you know that.

**DreadilocksB:** I have to go. I'm fine. Really. Don't worry about me. My path didn't need to change because of one stupid slip up, Jake. Life goes on, that's why I'm here. You all promised me you wouldn't bring any of this up while I was over here, and so far, both you and Sam are really pushing it.

_I refused to talk about this with him. I'd said my peace, and so had he. Everything was out in the open, and I had told him how I felt and how badly I wanted to put it behind us. Now he needed to accept that and just go back to being my best friend, because that's what I still needed more than anything._

_Unfortunately, no matter how angry he made me, I still needed him in my life._

**JakeBlack:** Well you made promises, too, that you're apparently not keeping. Always with the double standards. Look, I know its pointless to argue, Sam already warned me you'd just sign off before giving me a real chance, so I'll just drop it. Before you go, though… do you want me to come with the guys next month?

**DreadilocksB:** I bought you a ticket, didn't I?

**JakeBlack:** Yes.

**DreadilocksB: **Then there's your answer. Bye Jake.

**JakeBlack:** Alright. Bye.

I signed off with a loud frustrated sigh, then pushed the chair away from the desk and bawled my fists up at my eyes wishing all the drama away.

"Everything okay?" James' voice was suddenly asking from the beanbag chair beside me.

I'd been so engrossed with the hissy-fit Jake was laying on me that I hadn't even noticed my housemate come into the room.

"Yes," I mumbled, then let out another sigh.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No- there's nothing to talk about, that's the problem. But he just won't let anything go. Everything has to mean something, or be a part of some bigger issue that's really no issue at all. I'm fine, they need to get over it," I began to share without meaning to, then clenched my lips together firmly, wishing it weren't too early to hit the vodka bottle in the freezer.

"Did you eat breakfast yet?" he suddenly asked, catching me by surprise.

Instantly, my eyes narrowed at him, "Um, yeah, I had a bowl of cereal," I lied, then sipped my water avoiding his stare.

James was starting to push.

_Not wise, James._

"Already rinsed the bowl, huh?"

"Was there something you needed?" I snapped, starting to get annoyed by his early morning interrogation.

"Nope, just wanted to say good morning. I met Felix last night. He told me you two were acquainted?"

"Yeah, he's a friend of Aro's. He and Tanya's newest boy toy came by in the middle of our date, and we chilled for a little while. He seems like a good guy. Super hot, right?" I was thankful for the change in direction our conversation had taken.

"He asked me to meet him at the bar tonight," James admitted with a hidden smirk.

"Very nice! I had a feeling you two would hit it off, and not just because he's gay!" I teased, feeling myself relax, then gave him a playful shove while we exited the computer room together laughing.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked sleepily from the couch after sitting up with a stretch of his arms.

"James has a date tonight with one of Aro's friends."

"Christ, are Aro and all his friends on a mission to sleep with everyone in this house who likes dick?"

His remark made me both smirk and toss a pillow in his direction.

"Watch it," I warned, smiling at him, then continued past them to head upstairs so I could get dressed and talk Edward into heading over to the old school for some early play time-skate time.

* * *

Later that night ,when we got to the bar, Edward instantly offered to get my first drink for me. I knew what he was really doing, though.

What he was really doing was trying to keep me away from Aro, which seemed absolutely ridiculous to me, seeing how this was his bar, he knew I was coming, and we were planning on playing together on stage tonight.

There was something about his move, though, that created little flutters deep down in the pit of my belly.

_How is he so adorable?_

_Did you just say adorable again?_

_Good grief woman, you don't call a man you want to fuck into tomorrow adorable. How many times do we have to go over this? He's sex on legs for Christ's sakes!_

"Hey, beautiful," Aro greeted me, then leaned across the counter to kiss my lips, totally ruining my internal swoon over Mr. M&M.

His mouth held onto mine, lengthening our moment, and he moaned playfully after pulling away with a devilish smirk on his face.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yup, did nothing but play music and lay around." This was not a lie… yes I was leaving out the fact that I'd laid around with Edward, but what Aro didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Besides, like Demetri said, Aro knew we weren't exclusive.

"I see, well I need to put a bid in for a day of laying around with you, TV girl," he teased, then slid me my regular drink of Vodka and Red Bull, "I doubled it already," he informed me with another wink and told me he'd come find me in a little while. I nodded my head and thanked him, then turned to make my way to our regular table.

"How's lover boy?" Rose teased with a smirk, knowing her statement would get under Edward's skin.

"Good, where'd your monkey man go?" I asked, referring to Emmett. We'd all suspected as of late that Rose had stopped being a total cock tease. Especially after Alice woke up early the other morning and found them both naked in bed together.

"If you're referring to my roommate, he went with James to talk him down from his date nervousness."

"Aw!" Both Alice and I chimed together, then laughed before I took three solid gulps from my glass.

"Slow down, Bella, there's like six people in front of you before you have to take the stage tonight. I already checked the list," Alice whispered gently and bumped me with her shoulder. I smiled at her motherly advice and nodded my head in agreement, then scanned the surroundings to see just how crowded the room was and how many familiar faces I could find.

I relaxed a little once I realized it was pretty much the same crowd from the last week and grinned when two passersby asked if I'd be playing anything for them tonight.

_People actually want to hear you play. There's a shocker._

_Shut it. People wanted to hear me play back home, too._

_No people wanted to play with you back home, there's a difference._

The evil side of my conscious was really trying to fuck with my head tonight, as per usual. I quickly forgot Alice's warning and downed my beverage, then asked Edward if he'd come with me to get another.

"Of course," he replied, holding his hand out for me, then told the table we'd be right back. "You seem a little more relaxed tonight, compared to last week I mean," he commented while guiding us through the packed room to reach the bar.

"I feel a little better prepared, and I've gotten to know people. It makes a difference. And I'm going to have some good back up tonight," I explained, then asked the female bartender for a refill while Edward tucked one of my locks back behind my ear. I smiled at him and felt something flip again in the pit of my stomach, forcing me to look away after feeling my cheeks flush over the look in his eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that," I ordered through partially clenched teeth, "Not everyone knows about… _us_… yet." I reminded him then took my drink into my hand and gestured that we return to our table.

"There's an _us_?" he teased, causing me to roll my eyes.

"You know what I mean, our relation- our arrangement," I replied, catching myself before using the R-word.

"Right, right. Okay, I'll behave. I promise to stop looking at you like I want to take you into the bathroom right this second and have you straddle my face."

"EDWARD!" I laughed, then shoved him playfully, spilling some of his rum and coke over his hand. "I don't do public bathroom sex," I added with a smirk, then bumped his side with a grin still plastered on my face.

"You mean you haven't done it, _yet_."

"Oh no, I _have_. That's why I don't do it _anymore_," I mocked, creating a slightly impressed expression on his own face.

"Nice, Rock Star," he replied, grinning back, then took a seat beside me in our booth where both Emmett and James had returned. I noticed Demetri was now sitting with Tanya, so I said a friendly hello and took my seat beside Edward.

"Hey, Bells, ready to do _it_ just like we talked about?" he asked me with a smile. I noticed Tanya's hand underneath the table and immediately knew what was taking place down below, out of sight, thanks to Demetri's glowing expression.

_Nothing like observing some not so subtle fondling while trying to have a conversation._

"Yup. I should be, after a few more drinks," I replied and shot him a wink before looking back at Edward, who was still smirking in my direction over what I'd guessed was my poorly hidden excitement. I gave him another warning glare that made his smile grow just a bit more before disappearing entirely as soon as he turned to scan the bar.

_What's he looking for? A new conquest for the night?_

_So what if he is? He's allowed. You're planning on going home with someone else yourself, stupid girl_, I reminded myself callously, then released some rushed air through my lips.

"Wait, so you're playing with a band tonight?" Emmett asked, catching onto our words from a few moments ago.

"Maybe," I replied with a laugh, then caught Demetri smiling at me while Tanya was whispering something into his ear.

I looked away, not really wanting to invade upon their special little moment, and felt something warm rest itself on my upper thigh. I sat up straighter, covering my surprised smirk with my hand casually before slowly bringing it under the table to rest it over Edward's, when Aro appeared beside him holding a tray of shots for the table.

_Mother-fuck, why must boy juggling be so difficult sometimes._

_Maybe because you're already breaking the rules by not being totally upfront with all of the boys. That's not playing fair, and not playing fair is going to get you into trouble. Have you learned nothing?_

I knew I needed to come clean tonight with Aro. I'd just never expected it to last more than one drunken evening with him. He'd definitely surprised me over the last few days so now I was being put in the awkward position of telling him I'd gone into this looking for nothing more than a friend I could mess around with.

Most men would jump to such news, I could only hope Aro would be one of them.

* * *

One hour, forty minutes, three and a half drinks, and two shots later I was feeling extremely prepared to take the stage.

"So can I ask you something?" Edward prompted, leaning against the wall we were standing beside while he smiled downward in my direction. Our faces were ridiculously close, but I didn't mind it. He was just so pretty to look at… _snap out of it woman. Focus. Ignore the pretty, and crave the mindless emotionless sex that could possibly be in your future with someone who isn't threatening your entire existence._

"You can ask me anything, it doesn't mean I'll answer, though," I teased, poking him with my finger playfully, thanks to my tipsy state.

"How did _this_ work back home? I mean, you said there was a group of you, of your regulars… how did you manage all that… with you all being such close friends, and hanging out all the time together?"

"We were so young when it started, I dunno, it just kind of happened, and became natural. We found a routine. We'd have solo hangouts for anything more than cuddling or pop kissing. I wasn't the only girl, there's Angela, and Jessica would hang from time to time, till Mike decided he was going to become a doctor. Now they're planning their future together. And don't even get me started on Sam with Emily," I laughed to myself sarcastically. "The guys have had girlfriends, and when they do, I respect that. I'm no home wrecker-relationship destroyer," I told him proudly, then took another sip from my drink. "It mostly started as a educational kind of thing, as twisted as that sounds. We experimented with each other… a lot… and we've just always continued it, when ever the… need… would arise."

"So, it's not an all the time, every night a different _friend_, kind of thing?"

"Nope, I'm not that much of a sex addict, crazy," I replied grinning, placing my hands at my hips defensively. "Only, like, seventy-five percent of the time," I teased, letting him think I was joking.

"And no one's ever gotten jealous or territorial?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me for a moment.

Aro couldn't have had better timing, "Alright, ready? We're up next, beautiful," he asked in my ear after sneaking up from behind me to wrap his arms in front of my hips. He continued to slide his palms slowly across my waist so that his fingertips could dip past the fastener of my jeans against my skin and for a moment, my legs felt a bit unstable.

_That a girl. Let your vagina do all your thinking from this point on. His touch feels good, so go with it._

"Ready! The double shot drinks have been splendid for bettering my self esteem this evening," I told him, then leaned my cheek against his where he was resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I know how to get my girl where she needs to be," he answered, instantly sending a sneer across Edward's lips while he stiffened his stance across from us. There was no way Aro missed his poker face slip up, so I did the only thing I could do in times like this.

I distracted him the best way I knew how.

"So, your place after, right?" I asked, turning his face with my hand to look at me.

"Yeah, of course. Come on, let's get the other guys, 'De, let's go!" Aro shouted to his buddy, who was still sucking face with Tanya while Jasper got a close up of their mouths, using an above shot with his camera held over his head.

Edward and I stole a smile at each other and laughed quietly before he whispered for me to, 'break a leg'. I rolled my eyes and shot him a wink, then gave him a quick kiss to his cheek, which Aro caught without fail, thanks to my terrible timing and inability to keep my lips off of my roommate for longer than thirty minutes at a time.

_Pathetic. One step forward, two steps back._

_Shut-it. I do what I want._

Edward's smile doubled, and I hid my laugh while I turned to follow the guys up on to the stage. I instantly felt the more familiar kind of tiny flutters surround the inside of my belly.

_You should have eaten something._

_Why? So I'd have something in my stomach to puke up later? No, thanks._

"Alright, our very own Reality TV girl, Bella, has returned, and we've planned something a little fun for you all this evening. Ready, beautiful?" Aro spoke into the mic, then gestured for me to take my place behind the keyboard set up on the stage. I smiled and waved to the crowd before adjusting the mic stand in font of me. Aro took his place with his guitar, while Demetri picked up his bass and Felix sat down behind the house drum set with his own grin looking towards James.

It was incredibly eerie how familiar this all felt. Me with the boys, doing what I loved the most, playing music.

"Hi," I said softly with another wave, then ran my fingertips playfully across the piano's keys with a smirk. The crowded reacted back with hoots and whistles, and I felt my face flush instantly. Once they settled down, I told them we were going to do another Straylight Run cover titled, 'Still Alone'. After turning to give Felix a head nod, letting him know I was ready, I turned back around to pull the mic from its stand and held it to my lips,

"Doing like you said,

Taking deep breaths

Keep-ing my cool,

Coun-ting to ten.

On my own again,

Trying to keep my head clear

Go for walks, away from here,

But-I-know,

I-I-I-I'm

Still alone-still alone like the day I was born,

Born in brought into this world.

Still alone-still alone like the day I was born

Born in brought into this world.

Hold on to your friends,

that's what he said,

I guess that his friends are-not like mine,

I could write a list, of people I don't miss,

I'm sorry but,

I'm so much better off without you,

I'm still alone still alone like the day I was born

Born in brought into this world.

I'm still alone still alone like the day I was born.

Born in brought into this world.

Hold it all against me, still don't bother,

Hold it all against me just another complaint,

High maintenance complaint,

Oh shut up.

Ba-da-de-da-da-da-da-da-ba-da

Ba-da-de-da-da-da-da-da-ba-da

Ba-da-de-di-da

Oh shut up,"

I placing the mic quickly into its stand so I could play my little solo on the keyboard, then smiled out towards the crowd when they reacted to the melody I was creating with my finger tips.

I continued to close the song out with its chorus, then looked down at the ground feeling unbelievably lifted by the cheers that had exploded in the room as soon as the music ceased.

After giving a playful bow, I skipped over to Aro and threw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly, and kissing his lips. Once he released me from his grasp, I blew Felix his own kiss behind the drums and crossed the tiny stage to also hug Demetri, whose hand definitely lingered a bit too long over my ass.

_Men._

"That was incredible. Really nicely done, Bella," he insisted in my ear, then released me so I could jump off the stage to go find the rest of my friends. It didn't take me long to locate Alice, Rose, and Emmett, but Edward seemed to be missing, and I was instantly annoyed with myself for that being the first thing I noticed.

_Get over it, woman. You are not his priority, and that's the way you like it._

"You are amazing, Bella! Seriously! That was, just wow! I want to be able to do that!" Alice squealed while hugging me tightly.

"I could probably teach you a few things on the keyboard in exchange for you having taught me how to knit a shoddy scarf," I laughed while my eyes looked past her, still searching for Edward.

"Deal!" she quickly exclaimed, then hugged me again while the rest of my roommates agreed that my performance had blown them away.

"It was really fun, Bella. I have to admit, I'm impressed," Rose snickered then squeezed my arm affectionately with her hand just as Tanya landed a kiss to my cheek.

"You're so sexy up there, Bella! We really get to see who you are when you're on stage," she insisted with a sweet smile that made me blush.

"You guys are too nice, seriously, it wasn't that good," I replied, looking down at my feet. "Um, where'd Edward go?" I finally asked to no one in particular.

"I don't know, he was just here, maybe the bathroom?" Emmett suggested, handing me my drink. I thanked him and let out a sigh, feeling the high of my performance starting to settle down, and we all made our way back to the table with random strangers thanking me for the show I'd just given them. One guy even asked if I had a demo he could get, resulting in a seriously girly giggle leaving my lips.

About ten minutes later, Edward reappeared and shot me a smile, but I could tell there was something forced about it. That made me frown. It was impossible to question him, though, because of everyone being around, so I forced myself to look past it and engaged in the table's conversation as best I could.

"I really don't want to work with kids, guys," Rose randomly pouted, then leaned her head onto Emmett's shoulder.

She'd obviously drunk quite a bit for her to be showing her roommate so much public affection, and the sight made me smile. Especially when I looked over and noticed Emmett's own goofy grin and the thumbs up he was shooting us from behind her head.

I rolled my eyes and let my own hand drift under the table to squeeze Edward's knee, feeling as though he needed some attention of his own. He smiled down at me and placed his hand over mine, then gave it a returned pulse before standing up again, taking his empty glass with him to head towards the bar.

_What the hell is his issue? I thought he'd like the song, and now he's acting like I just fucked a guy on stage in front of him._

_How is it that I can read most guys so easily while he seems to still be a total mystery to me outside of our sexcapades?_

_Ding-ding-ding!_

_That's part of the attraction, stupid girl._

_Well then, once he really lets me in on who he is, and what he wants from me, will I still be as infatuated with him?_

_Why are we even discussing this again?_

_He is to be used for pleasure and nothing more. Enjoy the ride and stop over thinking things. Can't you just go back to enjoying yourself and stop thinking about the drama in your life?_ I self prompted, then took the last sip from my glass before bumping him to stand up again so I could go get my own refill.

This would be number five for me, plus two straight shots of vodka, so I knew it was time to slow down a little, especially by the way my words were starting to lengthen themselves.

When I got to the bar, Aro was waiting for me with my signature drink in his hand and a smile on his face that let me know he was already craving to have his mouth on mine again, and probably other places as well.

"That was fun tonight, we need jam together more often," I told him with my own smile, then took a seat on the bar stool in front of him while he continued to make drinks for other patrons around me.

"Still coming over later?" he asked, once things slowed down again.

"If the invitation is _still_ open, I was _still_ considering it," I smirked, then took a sip from my drink and set it back down in front of me.

"Of course it is, the only problem is I'll probably be stuck here for at least another hour or two, and based on your previous alcohol intake, I'm not sure you'll make it that long if you stick around here with drinks being thrown at you.."

"I can bring her back to your place, we can chill and wait for you," Demetri suddenly spoke up from behind me. I spun around in my stool and eyed him suspiciously, then shrugged my shoulders when he mentioned he'd be bringing Tanya back with him, too.

_At least I won't have to be alone with him._

"I'm fine with that," I insisted and stood up from my seat, "Is it cool if I make some coffee when we get there?"

"Of course, beautiful. Whatever it takes to insure you're awake. You can invite your friends over, too, since the cameras are done for the night," he leaned across the counter and kissed my lips softly, then tossed Demetri his house key and instructed him to drive slowly.

"Of course, with such precious cargo, how could I do anything else?" he teased then gestured with his head for me to follow him. I took one last sip from my glass, leaving half of it full, which was very unlike me, and shot Aro one more wink before going after his friend, who was already nearing my own friends at our table.

When I got there, Edward was already looking agitated, but I ignored it.

_Seriously, if we're going to do this, he needs to loosen up._

_This is who I am. This is who I will always be. This- is why I didn't want us to get involved in the first place._

"Tanya and I are going to go with Demetri back to Aro's place to wait for him to get off. You guys are welcome to come, if you'd like," I offered but already knew none of them would actually want to tag along. Except for maybe Edward, and that would only be to ruin my misguided fun.

"Well, Felix invited me along, so I'm coming," James said.

"I bet you are," I snickered, then shot both him and his date a playful wink.

"Edward?" I asked, looking him in the eyes for the first time since returning to the table.

_Decisions, Decisions._

* * *

**A/N: gASp! The first real IRL cliffy! Dun dun dunnnn! Bella said so herself, if another _friend _is around, nothing more than cuddle action or pop kiss'in. Those are the rules. Will Edward play that hand?**

**Something to look forward to, next chapter will be EPOV, *wink*.**

**I have a fic rec this week. It's a fellow LGR sl0re and a very talented author, NTJB. She has a new story titled, Perchance to Dream, and it's definitely worth checking out. http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net /s/ 6564379 /1/ Perchance_to_Dream **

***Will Edward go or will he find his own distraction elsewhere? * Is Demetri as innocent as he's trying to seem with his request to take Bella's picture? * How involved is Aro in all this and what will he think of Bella's _ways?_ *What the eff happened between Bella and Jake? * **

*******Please Review, it makes me smile... and you'll also get a sneak peak into Mr. Magic Mouth's head with an outtake from the end of this chapter.***  



	10. Consequences In Yesterdays

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem. **

**A/N: So this chapter will teach us a bit more about Bella. I know a lot of you have been frustrated with her, hopefully this will help with some of that. A warning, we do some POV jumping in this chapter, but I promise 75% of it is EPOV. ;) BIG thanks to my beta, ClaraBella75, who totally came through and got this chapter back to me before going away for the weekend. I'm damn lucky to have someone as dedicated as she is, and I love her dearly for all her hard work! Also I need to thank the ever fabulous Stella for creating a new banner for IRL. You can find it on the blog through a link on my profile. Alrighty, lets get on with the show, though, the camera's will be absent throughout this chapter. A nice little break for these two. *wink***

**

* * *

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**Chapter 10**

**Consequences In Yesterdays**

**~~*Edward*~~**

Do I want to go watch her suck face with her new douchey back up boy toy?

Is she for real?

Although, if we were to handle this the same way she handled her 'relationships' back home, then that would mean she'd have to respect the fact that I would be in the same room. Thus, nothing more than cuddling and pop-kissing would take place.

I could handle that.

"Aro's going to be an hour or two, you can come keep Bella company," the newest member of Bella's fan club, Demetri, shared.

I looked at him, trying to figure out what his deal was, then glanced back at Bella, who was biting on that damn lip of hers again.

She wanted me to come, but she didn't want me to make her say it.

I was going to make her say it.

"Yeah, no. Have a good time, though," I mumbled making eye contact with her for a split second, then stood up to walk away, leaving her standing there with her arms crossed while I made my way towards a cute dirty blonde that had been eyeing me for the last half hour.

This was me throwing out the bait. Now we would wait to see if Bella would bite.

_Fuck, she better bite._

"Edward!" she called out after me, and I was already smiling, but quick to clear that smile from my face before turning around to look at her.

"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms in front of me.

"I want you to come."

"Do you?" I teased suggestively, then smirked. She punched me playfully in the shoulder and nodded her head.

"Everyone else is going to be with a buddy now, and I'll be stuck playing the fifth wheel if you make me go alone," she explained, pouting sarcastically.

"If I go, the same rules apply that you have at home with your other friends. That is, if I stay after Aro gets there, which is doubtful."

"Rules?" she seemed genuinely confused, almost as though I'd known about something I shouldn't have. The expression on her face made me both smile and want to pull her into me for a comforting hug. She was still getting used to the fact that I knew things about her, and I found the idea fucking adorable.

"Nothing more than cuddle action or pop kisses when your other _friends_ are around, right?" I asked, refreshing her memory.

"Oh! Of course. I just need to talk to Aro first. I'm going to explain everything to him tonight. We can do it together, if you'd like," she teased, grinning, knowing there was no way in hell I'd sit in on that conversation.

"Fine, I'll come for a little while, then probably take off when he gets there so you two can talk. Cool?"

"Sounds like a perfect arrangement," she answered, then looped her arm through mine to walk us back to the table where everyone was already standing by, waiting for us.

"Okay, let's go," Bella announced, then gave Aro one more wave at the bar with her arm still linked through mine.

_Take that mo'fo._

Tanya appeared at Bella's side and grabbed onto her other arm once we were out the door with a loud sigh leaving her drunken lips. She relaxed her head onto Bella's shoulder, and I couldn't help but smile at our roommate's inebriated state after she asked my Rock Star what she thought about Demetri, slurring every other word in her sentence.

"He's cute, and so far he seems like an okay guy. I don't know about marriage material though," she teased, then increased her grasp back around my arm, successfully pressing her breasts against my arm and creating a slight rise in my pants.

"Well, of course not! But he's a great fuck! I mean absolutely AMAZING in bed!" Tanya laughed at her own remark, then leaned against a brand new black BMW after its lights had flashed, signaling it belonged to Demetri.

"Nice ride," I commented once he'd stepped up a few seconds later to open the door for Tanya.

"Thanks, the internet business pays well," he smirked in return, then threw his hand out gesturing for Tanya to take the front seat beside him while we took the back with James and Felix. I gracefully suggested Bella sit on my lap, and thankfully she agreed without hesitation. My dick, of course, twitched once more after she'd positioned herself over me, so I offered a quiet apology, knowing it would make her blush and hopefully smile.

I could tell she had a battle going on inside that head of hers again. Her fingers couldn't stop messing with her hair, which she had bundled up in front of her shoulder. Busy hands had become a red flag for Bella Discomfort.

"Feeling good, Bella?" James asked, eyeing us carefully.

"Feeling better than good, _thanks_, dad," she mumbled, then suggested he hold his mans hand in order to keep himself occupied with things other than her well being.

He chuckled lightly to himself, then followed her suggestion slightly by placing his hand over Felix's knee and redirected his attention to his date, leaving us alone with my own hands drawing Bella in closer against me so I could smell her perfume.

_Christ, she smells good._

Impulsively, I leaned in and kissed her shoulder, causing her to turn in my lap a little to grin back at me over my inability to keep my hands and lips off of her when she was this close to me.

When we got to Aro's, Tanya was instantly squealing over the realization that his house was on the beach.

_Pft, I live on the beach too. In both Cali and Hawaii. So far, no further points awarded to the ass._

"I love making out on the beach," Tanya announced to no one in particular, and I was quickly rolling my eyes.

You had to hand it to her, the girl was always on… well, on top of someone or something.

"And that is why you're my kind of girl, baby," Demetri announced, then ran his hand up her leg, bringing a giggle to her lips before she removed herself from her seat seductively.

Bella and I smirked at each other after she'd turned around to face me from outside the car. She extended her hand towards me to playfully help me up onto my own two feet, and I smiled when she didn't release her grasp from my hand while we walked towards the front door of Aro's home.

I was glad to see that even with Aro's friends around, she would still be herself with me. I'd wondered how she would act around them, so this, to me, was great progress.

"This was Aro's mom's house. She left it to him after she passed away, so he sold his place on Main Street and moved back in here," Bella explained, as if I gave a damn.

"Nice," I mumbled in return, and followed them inside after Demetri unlocked the door with his key. Bella's hand squeezed mine while she quickly guided me into the kitchen, and I couldn't help but smirk over how homey the interior that surrounded us felt.

Totally not what I had expected.

_What a pussy. This is like something out of Home & Garden Magazine._

"Who else is having coffee?" she asked without looking towards anyone in particular. "I need some caffeine to help keep my eyes open," she confessed softly then shot me a wink.

"I'll have a cup," I answered, still loving everything about her grin. She let go of my hand, and I watched her open cabinet after cabinet looking for what she'd need just as Demetri came in and took her by the hips to walk her to the other side of the kitchen.

"Over here, gorgeous," I heard him instruct her, just before my fists bawled up at my sides.

I could feel a sneer spread across my face over the sight of his hands being placed on the curves of her hips, and her smiling over the fact that he was indeed invading her personal space. Instantly, I scanned the room to see where everyone else had disappeared to. I needed a visual distraction, or I would definitely open my mouth and say something stupid, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

_Damnit, your apparent need to Bella-sit has the potential to blow up in your face, Cullen._

_Where the hell did Tanya go?_

"I'll have a cup, too," he told Bella, then reached over her head to pull the coffee grounds from the cabinet. She smiled and thanked him, then got to work beside the sink while Demetri found two mugs and a stainless steel thermos for us.

"So, are you two going to set things straight tonight with my buddy?"

I could hardly believe this guy. Who the fuck did he think he was?

Bella looked up just as surprised as I was, then let out a loud sigh, "Yes, Demetri, I am. All will be out in the open before the night is over," she assured him as she closed the lid of the coffee maker and turned it on.

"Very good. He'll be fine with it. I'm sure. He's not one for exclusivity either. I suppose that's what he liked about you, aside from the obvious," he replied, making her smile again.

I didn't like seeing her smile over someone else's words.

"Obvious, huh?" she asked with a smirk that made me narrow my eyes further in their direction.

"We had that talk last night for a reason, baby," he answered with a wink of his eye before he ran his slimy finger down her arm and tapped the bottom of her chin lightly. "I hope you've thought about my offer."

"I have."

She looked away nervously, and I was instantly wondering what the fuck they were cryptically talking about.

Before I could ponder it for too long, Bella announced she was going to go grab a guitar and she'd be right back. I watched her disappear through a door to go into another room adjacent to the kitchen, and redirected my attention back to Aro's sleazy friend with poor boundaries, and misguided come-ons.

"So, Edward, I hear you skateboard."

"Amongst other things," I replied, already feeling bored with Bella gone from the room. Just looking at her kept me comfortable and relaxed. It was becoming more and more obvious to me that the girl really was good for much more than an amazing blow job and fun conversation, and that's why I needed to kick things up another notch. I needed her to see the same was true about me.

Tanya thankfully interrupted our awkward stare off when she came twirling into the kitchen, throwing her arms around Demetri to request he give her a tour of the upstairs.

It didn't take them long to disappear.

James and Felix were already cuddled up in front of the TV in the living room watching some old black and white movie, so I decided to venture in the direction Bella had gone. I didn't want to waste any of our one-on-one time before Aro arrived.

She was sitting alone, with a guitar in her lap, on a torn up looking sofa in the corner of what looked to be a garage that Aro had remodeled into space for his music stuff.

_No wonder she likes it here. No cameras, and her very own playroom._

"Pretty crazy, right, all these instruments," she smiled and strummed the guitar then stood up holding the stringed instrument in her hands. "Sorry, have I been in here long?"

"No, I was just bored. Everyone's paired off. Tanya dragged Demetri upstairs, and I'm no homophobe, but watching James and Felix make out on the couch kind of loses it's special-ness after awhile," I toyed, then asked her if she'd like to walk down to the beach with me.

"Yup, let's go," she smiled, then stood on her toes to kiss my cheek before grabbing my ass playfully in the doorway. She had that look, though. The same one I'd become accustomed to when ever she'd zone out and come back a little more withdrawn. There was something on her mind that she wanted to talk about, but she'd never admit it out loud.

I'd get it out of her, though.

Once she learned I could be trusted with her demons, then she'd find it a little bit easier to let me in. This was the next step in the game. She needed to be able to talk to me. I mean, really talk to me, without holding back. I wanted her to trust me the same way she trusted her boys back home, because I needed to know just as much as they did if I was going to have a fair chance in this.

After stopping in at the counter to fill the thermos with coffee and a splash of Irish Whisky, Bella and I let James know we were going out back and we'd be back in a little bit.

"Don't get lost," he replied, breaking his lip lock with Felix so he could shoot us a wink. I rolled my eyes and placed my hand to Bella's back, carefully guiding her through the sliding glass door that would lead us down to the beach.

We walked out towards the water in silence till we were over the dune, then took a seat in the sand under the moon where she instantly began strumming on the guitar she had borrowed from Aro's house.

"You're pretty quiet tonight, M&M," she whispered, bumping me with her shoulder.

"Sorry, you seem deep in thought, I didn't want to interrupt."

_That's good. Make her think you could care less about what's going on inside that head of hers._

"Deep thinking is never good for someone like me, you should always interrupt when you see it taking place," she teased with a crooked smile, letting me know there was some truth in her words.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, surprising even myself with my sudden straightforwardness.

_Where the hell did that come from?_

_Careful, you need to treat these moments like glass. One wrong question and everything could shatter._

"Honestly… I was thinking tonight was fun, but it made me miss home, and it hasn't even been two full weeks yet. How am I going to last another two and a half months?" she asked, staring out at the water in front of us.

"I think it will get easier. Plus your friends are coming to visit, that should help."

I really wasn't looking forward to her friends coming to visit, but a part of me was intrigued to see how they all… moved… around each other. Besides who knew where we would be in four weeks time. By then I could have either talked her into being in a real relationship with only one cock, that cock being mine, of course. Or we could hate each other, and no longer be on speaking terms- let alone _friends with benefits_ terms. There really was no telling how this could go, but I was of course hoping for the first possibility.

"Having you here makes it easier," she confessed softly before starting to play on the guitar a little more loudly. "Actually, that's a lie," she added a about a minute later, after randomly setting the instrument aside so she could take a sip from her thermos of spiked coffee. "You make it a little bit harder sometimes," she shared, then leaned back on her elbows behind me.

"How's that?"

"You make me… _think_. I just told you that's not good for someone like me," she laughed, but I could tell this was hard for her. Opening up to me was going against the grain and I could almost see the pain in her eyes when she looked up at me, biting that lip of hers. She wanted to talk, she wanted me to understand. There was something holding her back, though. I could see it in her expression, she wanted me to push.

So, I pushed.

"What do I make you think about?" I asked without even considering my question. I was daring to go there and now hoping for the best.

She'd had quite a bit to drink tonight, but it was nothing too far from her norm. I usually got the most out of her when she was in this tipsy state of hers. At first, I used to feel guilty about that, but those feelings began to subside once I realized this was what it would take to really get her to open up, so when she'd insisted on adding some whisky to her coffee, I'd kept quiet.

"You make me think about everything, when all I want is nothing," she sighed, finally answering my question, then sat up again to hug her knees to her chest in front of her.

I watched her for a moment trying to figure out what she meant by her answer, but the problem with having a dick is it usually got in the way of decoding cryptic female messages, and because of that, right now, all I could think about was kissing her and holding her in my arms.

"Well, I guess I could say sorry but… I kind of like that you're thinking about me," I teased, then moved myself behind her to pull her up against me between my legs. It was chilly out tonight, and I could tell she was feeling cold. She relaxed the moment my arms were around her. I kissed the top of her shoulder gently, then her neck, and noticed the goose bumps raise up on her arms over my touch. "You were pretty remarkable on stage again tonight."

"Really? I figured you hated it since you disappeared and all."

"No, I didn't hate it. The lyrics bugged me a little, but you were still incredible," I confessed openly.

"Hah, it's funny you should say that," she laughed, increasing my grasp around her with her own hands, "That song has pretty much been the _Bella Swan Anthem_ since I was seventeen," she told me, and I felt myself frown over that new piece of information.

"What happened when you were seventeen?" I asked, pushing her a little further. I knew from previous conversations that she had experienced her first major falling out with her grandfather when she was sixteen. That wasn't the big one, though. Only the first of the biggies, before the grand finale which had come a few weeks before her parents' death, when she was still only seventeen.

"Um… well… see… I kind of don't know where to start… but I think I'm ready to do some sharing, since it's just us, I mean," she mumbled, shifting her weight nervously in the sand in front of me. "I'd like for you to be able to understand- why I'm the fucked up mess I am, so you won't be disappointed with me in the future… I guess. You deserve to know what you're getting yourself into… if we continue, this."

"I'm ready to hear whatever you're ready to tell me, Bella." I gently promised her.

"Okay, so, my grandfather and I, we used to get along… for a while, when I was a kid, we were the best of friends, but I could never stay with him for very long because his work would take him away a lot. My step-grandmother couldn't be bothered with the responsibility of raising a teenage girl, so I started to be floated around town again, between family friends, when I turned thirteen.

They loved the cookie cutter granddaughter who said and did all the right things when important people were around. The girl I was between the ages of two through six, then again from ten to thirteen. The minute I started to… express myself… more… openly, that changed."

"Ah, and so the hair adventures began?" I asked, interrupting her, hoping it would calm her obvious nerves.

"Hey! I started sporting a pretty badass faux hawk around that time, I'll have you know!" she joked with a slight smile that didn't last long.

"So is your grandfather some big wig business guy or something?"

"From a podunk town in Oregon? No. He's a two term state senator, with aspirations to run for president next year. At least that's what I hear on the internet. He used his riches to start a church in his early thirties, gained a following, then got into politics and discovered the power it could bring. He's a smooth talker, a good salesman with implanted, strict morals, and deep pockets."

"So what happened that made you stop talking? Was it the hair or the tattoos?" I asked, wanting to make her smile and relax a little bit more.

She did, and I grinned in return, feeling accomplished. I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible while sharing her past with me. Otherwise, this would be a one time thing, and I knew she'd still have more buried deep inside of her, even after this talk was over.

"In order to maintain the public image, you were expected to behave within certain boundaries. The older I got… the less I fit inside those boundaries. I started to push the envelope a bit. I guess to see what I could get away with because although there were rules… no one ever paid much attention to me… well, unless I broke the rules. It was normal adolescent stuff, at least that's what my shrink says." She paused for a moment to take another sip from her coffee, and took in a deep breath before continuing.

"Well, you see… at sixteen I was three years into my sexual exploration at the time. Twisted, but true. When the shit hit the fan for the first time, I was living with them again outside of town. Because they lived so far away from my friends, they would allow them to stay over sometimes. Never dreaming anything risque' would be going on behind closed doors. Up until that evening, I was their everyday rebellious teenage granddaughter, who might have dressed a little funny, but I was still saving myself for marriage and respecting my body. Well, my step-grandmother had come home early from one of her fundraisers, and she pretty much caught me in a very compromising position with one of my life long best friends. We'd been trying out some new positions he'd seen in a new magazine of his," she stopped again and laughed reluctantly, then shook her head, "I'm sure she'd never in her life witnessed anything like what she walked in on that day. Truthfully, I'm surprised she didn't have a heart attack right there on the spot."

"Wow, that's rough." I didn't know what else to say. It's bad enough to be walked in on by a parent, even worse to be walked in on a grandparent who thought you were a virginal princess.

"Yeah, understatement. I wasn't allowed back in their house for a year," she shared with a blank expression on her face. "Not even for Christmas."

"Where did you go? What did your parents say?"

"They paid for me to start seeing a therapist who dealt with sex addiction," she laughed, "that lasted an entire week and a half till the fucking quack made a pass at me in his office."

_Christ, even the people she should have been able to trust let her down time and time again._ The more I learned, the more I understood why she was the way she was.

"That's fucked up, you were just a kid."

"Yup, but he became a good buddy so that's okay." I looked at her, feeling absolutely shell shocked, till she started laughing lightly.

"I'm kidding, Edward, I never saw the guy again," she assured me with a soft shove. "After all that went down, I went and stayed with my mom's best friend, Sue. That lasted for a year till my grandparents decided they wanted to give me a second chance, only because my parents had begged them to, so that Sue could go on a month long African Safari with them. Well that, and it was also election season. A family man always does better in the polls," she shared with a further frown and lip bite.

"Okay, so at seventeen you moved back in with them again? After being estranged for a year? And things were just fine?"

"Yeah, things were good again, for a little while, but my grandfather was rarely around that year. He was always in D.C. working, or campaigning, so that left me alone with the evil step-grandmother. Those stories can be saved for another time, though. Let's just stick to one side of the ugly for now," she requested with a sigh, then took another sip from her thermos.

"Nothing annoyed my grandmother more than when I'd rip up a pair of brand new, five hundred dollar jeans, but God did it feel good to do," she laughed again, then leaned herself into me with a sleepy sigh.

I could tell by her facial expression that her step-grandmother was a whole other layer she wasn't ready to get into yet, so as she'd requested, I didn't push for those stories. Not yet.

"I wasn't allowed to have friends over anymore, one of the new house rules, so that just meant I would stay out a lot, and sometimes spend days at Jake's, or Sam's. I'd rarely come home to questions but there were always dirty looks. My grandfather, for the most part… when he was around, stayed out of it as long as I kept it discreet. He hardly even batted an eyelash… till I crossed the line," she paused again, and shook her head quickly, then tapped my arms, signaling that she wanted to stand up. "Let's walk," she suggested without looking down at me. I followed her cue and stood up beside her, then took her hand into mine while we made our way down the beach's shore where the water was now running beside our bare feet.

We walked side by side for a few more minutes in silence while she decided what more she was ready to share. All I could think about was how absolutely fucked this story already was, and I hadn't even heard all of it yet.

"About six months before my eighteenth birthday, my grandfather had a huge fundraiser for his re-election campaign," she paused for a moment, took in another deep breath, then glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before continuing, "At the fundraiser I met one of his assistants, _Riley Biers_," the way she said his name, you could tell she held no respect for the man, and I was already dreading what might be coming next.

"Well, Riley knew a lot about me from the start. My interests, my hobbies, likes and dislikes… mostly because my grandfather confided in him. I didn't put all of that together, though, till after my shrink pointed it out to me a few months ago. Riley and I didn't just happen to be into all the same things. I was the world's stupidest teenager to not have realized that myself."

_Months ago… interesting… so all this rehashing is fairly recent for her, and she didn't seek professional help till years after this went down… that can't be good… and what happened a few months ago that prompted her to finally look for help to deal with all this?_

"Anyways, we'd gotten to talking at the dinner, and exchanged numbers and email. I was smitten because he was the first older guy to ever express an interest in me that didn't seem entirely sexual. He just wanted to talk, he wanted to get to know me. At least that's what he had told me at the beginning. I mean, we would talk. For hours. About anything and everything without there ever being a pause in the conversation."

"How old was he?" I asked, trying to not sound bitter.

"Thirty-two."

"But you were only seventeen," I felt my freed hand bawling itself into a fist by my side over this bit of information.

_What a fucking dirt bag. She was just a messed up kid, looking for someone she could trust… someone who would pay attention to her, and he took total advantage._

"Yeah, I was stupid, and young… with a fucked up daddy complex. Shrink's logic again, not mine."

"So you guys started _talking_?"

"I guess you could call it that. For the first two months it was just talking. We would get coffee when he was in town, talk on the phone for hours, share emails, and video chat. Totally innocent. He seemed to get me. He was the first friend with a dick I'd ever had that didn't try to get into my pants. That, of course, only made me start to want him in other ways, which I now realize was his plan all along. Going into it, I'd never planned to start sleeping with my grandfathers assistant, I swear on my parents' grave, I didn't. I really was only looking for someone to talk to, but I let my sexual appetite get in the way again, because it was all I knew. So, I started to pursue him… for the other things. It wasn't really anything emotional at first, though looking back, if I were to be honest with myself, it's probably the closest I've ever come to actually feeling something for someone aside from the craving to only have their dick inside of me… er, sorry. That was a bit crass."

I smiled at her obvious embarrassment over her honesty, and shook my head wanting her to continue. I could hardly believe she'd shared so much already but I still wanted to hear more.

"Anyways, I made a lot of mistakes, I was still young, figuring things out, selfish, naïve… vulnerable. We started seeing each other, in secret, and then we got caught at a cheap motel in a neighboring town, two weeks before my eighteenth birthday."

"Shit, didn't you learn the first time?" I asked, hoping to make her smile. She did slightly, but it was forced, and I instantly felt bad for making a joke of it.

"One of my grandfather's interns ratted us out. Told him that Riley was having an affair, so he started to have him followed by a private investigator because he was worried it could mess up his campaign. He was always so careful when it came to his political career. Nothing came before it."

"Wait. An affair?"

She looked down at the sand, and shook her head slowly before explaining, "It's the only time ever in my life, and I didn't know. I had no idea. He never told me, and I never ever talked about him with my grandparents, so I was totally shocked to find out he was married. I was stupid for not putting it all together. To make matters even worse, he was married with a baby on the way. Believe me, it took me forever to get over that. I hated myself. A lot. For a long time. Dr. Banner say's I still haven't fully let go of that. But, I mean, seriously! Who the hell does that to their pregnant wife?"

_Christ, this just keeps getting worst._

"Yeah, so I got played, then got caught, then lost the only family I ever really knew because of it. The cherry on top came when my parents died thinking their daughter was a whorish home wrecker before I could get the chance to clear my name. Whatever, though, if he wanted to believe some guy over his own granddaughter, just to keep his precious career as a politician intact, what was I supposed to do about that?"

I had no words for what she had just told me. To be a seventeen year old girl, who probably up until then had only done some basic creative experimentation with guys she'd grown up with… to be that girl, then meet someone, and finally start to let her guard down only to be hit upside the head with an awful reality. All the pieces were falling into place.

"What do you mean, he believed the guy and not you? What did he say was going on?"

"He said I seduced him, that he was weak because he and his wife were having problems, and that I had approached him at the fundraiser and became infatuated with him, never leaving him alone and begging him to see me. The same guy who had sent me dozens of emails, Skype messages, and ridiculous flowers, got off completely, simply because I already had the reputation that fit the behavior. I'd never kept any of his messages out of fear of getting caught," she explained further, then stopped walking so we could take a seat under the pier we had come to. "Boy, did that come back to bite me in the ass."

"So you cared for this guy?"

"I thought I did, I mean I cared for the guy he let me think he was, if that makes sense. But then, because I never really knew the _real_ him, I like to just think _no_, I never cared. I only lusted. It was still all about the sex, and wanting to feel… needed…and special, I guess. He made me feel special."

"Did his wife ever find out?"

"I don't think so, but I have no idea. I never talked to him or my grandfather again after that night. I moved in with Jake and his family, and then my parents died two weeks later, and I inherited enough money to buy my own place, and start my own life the way I wanted."

The only sound around us came from the crashing of the waves a few feet away while I tried to process everything she had just told me. "Wow, Bella. I'm just… I'm so sorry."

She shrugged and leaned back against a pillar we had sat down in front of, then let out a loud sigh, "And that is enhanced version of Bella 101. Fun, right? Everything you thought it would be?"

"I'm glad you finally gave me a short lesson. You may not want to hear it, but it helps. I understand you a little bit more now, I mean."

She shrugged again, and closed her eyes, taking another deep breath in, and exhaling slowly. I could tell she was thinking in overdrive because of the way her eye lids were fluttering in the shadows here, under the pier.

I extended my arm out to pull her up against me, and pressed her head against my chest while I smoothed her hair back behind her. I held her close to me while I tried to figure out what my next words should be to her.

She'd finally opened up and let me in, and now I felt like a deer caught in headlights, too terrified to say the wrong thing.

I cleared my throat carefully, and took in a deep breath, "Bella, not every man in the world is a total fuckwad only looking to get laid," I whispered softly, hoping she'd believe my words, because they were the honest truth.

I knew they were the truth because I wanted to be that man for her.

"I know that, but if it hurt as bad as it did when I only cared a little about the guy… I don't ever want to feel the pain from really falling in love, only to be let down again. It's just not worth it. I'm better off on my own. With only myself to worry about."

I sighed hearing both the honesty, and the fear in her voice, then increased my hold around her, "But if you find it… no, _when_ you find it… it will be worth it, Bella. I promise," I assured her, then loosened my grasp so I could tilt her face towards me. "Look at me," I prompted when she refused to open her eyes. She followed my cue and looked up hesitantly, then shook her head with a single tear sliding down her face. It didn't stay long. She was quick to brush it away forcefully from her cheek.

"I'm the way I am for a reason, Edward. I've told you that before, and now you know why. That wasn't me putting in a request to be, fixed. I'm fine. I'm happy being the way I am, I don't need any of that to change. I don't need to find something more than a good fuck with a hook up buddy who I can call up when I'm feeling the need to release some sexual frustration," she told me with a straight face that almost broke my heart.

It broke my heart because I could tell she truly believed what she was saying, but she was still hurting over the fact that this was her reality.

"If you can be that guy for me, then great, but I don't want you to think you can change me. Because you can't."

I shook my head and kissed her hand softly at my lips, then asked her if she was ready to go back up to the house. I'd gotten enough out of her tonight. I could tell she was done sharing. If I pushed any further she'd probably put me back in timeout because I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, and I really didn't need, or want, that. After tonight's conversation, I was going to have to tread lightly. This was fact.

She'd shared all this with me for a reason. She was hoping it would scare me away. I wasn't an idiot. Her plan hadn't worked, though. I wasn't going anywhere, and I'd continue to play this game till she realized I was someone worth risking it all for. It was going to take time, but I would be patient.

"Yeah, sure. I need to pee anyways," she replied with a forced smirk. She stood up, and extended her arm out to help me up, then returned her hand to mine with a quiet sigh. We walked in silence for a few minutes till she randomly thanked me for being someone who could listen without passing judgment on her. "I guess it's true what they say about it sometimes being easier to open up to someone who hardly knows anything about you."

"Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, Bella," I answered, then pulled her in under my arm while we continue to walk up the pathway towards the glowing lights of Aro's house. There was something about the look in her eyes, though.

It wasn't sitting well with me.

Not at all.

"Oh, yeah? Then I think it's your turn to share some of your skeletons, Mr. M&M." she teased loosening up again quickly, and breaking me from my own inner turmoil. That didn't last long, though.

All it took was a smile from me, and she was guarded again.

Guarded and thinking about something else.

She was thinking about a distraction. Something that would help her forget everything that she had just shared with me. The only problem… I couldn't be that distraction for her, because I was the problem.

"Another night," I insisted, then slid the door open for her and gestured for her to go inside.

I wouldn't be the person she would ultimately go to tonight, and I had to find it in me to some how be okay with that, because that's what I had promised her I would do. I'd gotten what I wanted. She'd let me in, and now I would have to suffer the consequences.

No matter what, though, I knew after all the bullshit, she would be worth it.

_It's cool, Cullen, while she's getting hers you can go out and get some of your own- elsewhere._

_All is fair._

I took in a deep breath after deciding what my next step would be, then exhaled slowly.

* * *

**~~*Bella*~~**

My talk with Edward was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do… aside from the night I walked out of my grandfather's house for the last time with a cloud of shame hanging over my head.

Not even Jake knew about what had happened between Riley and me. All he knew was that I'd fucked up again and gotten caught. He never asked how or with who. In our group we never discussed that kind of stuff, my other hookups or flings, so he'd always assumed it was one of the other guys. So in theory… Edward now knew more about me than anyone else in my life, and I felt like rocking myself to sleep in a fetal position because of that.

His words… his reaction to my past… I had been terrified he'd say something that would make me want to open my heart even more to him, but I'd dared to go there anyways, and now I was suffering the consequences for it.

I wanted to forget all of it.

There it was. Me, in a summary. Careless, attention seeking decisions, and emotionless flings… all because nothing real ever stayed real in my life, aside from my boys, who I'd managed to connect to without ever having to promise anything more than myself.

I wish I hadn't recognized it, but his touch changed after I'd shared my story with him. It was softer, kinder, more genuine.

I hated myself for it, but I was petrified to face tomorrow now that he knew about so many of my ugly yesterdays.

But he still hadn't pushed me away, and a part of me was pissed off about that.

Shortly after returning back to the house, Edward called a cab and left, telling me to stay behind so I could set things straight with Aro, and sleep soundly tonight without any worries of leading anyone on. He'd been beyond understanding, and supportive, and once again, I felt myself falling for him that much more.

Which was exactly what I didn't want.

After he was gone, I'd disappeared into the band room again, wanting to give James and Felix their continued privacy out in the living room. I'd tried to watch a movie with them panting on top of each other beside me on the couch for about fifteen minutes, but for whatever reason I couldn't focus, so I'd disappeared to find something more comfortable.

I frowned to myself as I began to strum the strings on the borrowed guitar in my lap. I hated that all I could think about was Edward, and how I wished he would have stayed a little while longer, but truthfully, I was glad he knew better than to stick around. I had to talk to Aro, and I wasn't sure how that talk would go.

I'd completely lost track of the time, and was entirely lost in the song I was playing when someone touched my shoulder gently, creating a startled yelp from my lips.

"Aro! Don't do that! I almost peed myself!" I warned glaring at him for a moment before his smile weakened my defenses.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he grinned, then took a seat beside me and asked where everyone else was.

"Well, Demetri and Tanya disappeared upstairs shortly after getting here, James and Felix were on the couch pretending to watch a movie while they sucked each others faces, but I guess they took their monkey business elsewhere if you didn't see them out there," I snorted, then leaned forward to rest the guitar onto the table in front of the lounge chair we were now sharing in the middle of the room.

"Pft, then, what no triple kiss action between you, Dem, and Tanya tonight? He must have been off on his game this evening," he toyed, and leaned me back against him, wrapping his arms around my body securely.

I laughed and shook my head, insisting one kiss with Tanya was enough to last me for at least a few weeks.

"I've got to admit, I've watched the clip on my phone at least a hundred times."

I turned myself around to give him a playfully smack, but he caught my hand at mid swipe, then brought it to his lips to kiss softly… just like Edward had done, not long ago out on the beach. I looked away, feeling bashful and let out a sigh knowing it was now or never.

_Time to rip off the Band-Aid, Swan._

"Listen, Aro, we need to talk."

He took in his own deep breath and relaxed himself behind me, still without removing his grasp around me, which I took as a good sign.

"Do we, now? About you and your roommate I'm assuming," he cleared beside my ear, before kissing my neck softly.

I sat up straighter, surprised by his correct guess, and turned myself around to face him so I could read his expression.

How much did he already know, and how long had he known?

_Fucking Emmett._

_No- Fucking Demetri._

"Bella, you would have to be the stupidest human being on the planet to not realize there's something going on between the two of you. I knew that from the first time I met him at the bar, before I'd even seen the two of you together," he confessed with a smile, then smoothed his hand across my cheek.

He was definitely a pretty thing to look at, and my distraction radar was instantly blaring in my ear. I was still a bit bothered, though, that he had known all along about my flawed relationship with my roommate, and had never brought it up until now.

"Well, see. I never really expected you and me… I never expected us to hang out and click the way we have, so I wasn't in a rush to explain my twisted outlook on male companions, but… I've never… not ever had a boyfriend. I don't do exclusive relationships. I never have, I never will. It's not who I am."

"Which is one of the reasons why I like you. Trust me, I picked up on all that. I'm not looking to change you, Bella."

"So then, you're okay with this? With what we have going, and the idea that I'm going to have other, _friends_?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"As long as I still get to have a piece of you, I don't care. I'm not one for relationships either. It's why we clicked. You're only here for a few months. I don't see why we can't have fun with each other during that time. You're too cool of a chic to let slip away, and I enjoy your company far too much to let some pro-skater chase me off. Especially when he's obviously not making you his only priority," Aro spoke up, catching my attention with his last sentence.

"What do you mean?"

_Why are you asking? Do you enjoy the knife in the chest feeling that much? You know better than this._

"I saw him the other night, and then tonight he came back to the bar about thirty minutes ago and left with Heidi. She's not exactly known around town for being one to hang with when all you're looking for is good conversation," Aro informed me rather nonchalantly.

I could only pray that I was doing a better job at hiding my true feelings when it came to hearing this news, because on the inside I felt like he'd just sucker punched me in my heart.

_Awesome. So maybe you will get what you wanted. You had hoped your story would scare him away, and it seems you've scared him right into bed with someone else._

_Kudos to you, Swan._

For a moment, I considered texting the manwhore with a casual, 'so _who_ ya'doin?' but thought better of it the moment Aro pulled me back down against him to ask me If I'd had a good time with him on stage tonight.

Thank God for his ability to distract me with more pleasant things because if he'd have given me five more seconds, I would be in the bathroom with my fingers moving over my phone's key pad with serious purpose.

"I did, I had a lot of fun actually," I spoke up, nuzzling myself deeper against him and increasing his grasp around my waist while he repositioned my hair off to the side in front of me.

"Good, I did too. I like watching you on stage. You've really got some incredible talent. I wouldn't be surprised if you start to hear from some people in the music industry after this Real Life reality crap is over," he replied, then kissed my neck again and softly asked if I'd like to see the rest of his house.

"For sure, lets see the house Mr. Bartender spent his childhood in," I insisted, then sat up to remove myself from his lap. He picked up the guitar from the table and followed me inside, setting it on the kitchen counter top before taking my hand into his to guide me towards the stairs that would take us to the level of the house that I still had yet to see.

As soon as my feet hit the first step, I realized where this was leading to.

_Upstairs… rooms… bedrooms… bed._

I was finally going to get me some peen, but all my ridiculous head would let me think about was the fact that Edward was probably moving his own dick in and out of someone else across town.

_Well, if he's out there getting his dick bounced on, then you should take your own ride on whatever Aro has to offer._

I had a feeling I wouldn't be disappointed. Not only were his hands huge, but his feet were monstrous as well, and that almost always meant there'd be a nice sized snack between a man's legs.

_Except for that one time last summer._

_Ew, don't think about Mike Newton and his itty bitty pencil dick._

I owed Jessica Stanly the moon for finally getting that one off my back.

"So this is the master bedroom, otherwise known as my mom's room."

"You don't get the master bedroom?" I asked, not really expecting much of a response.

"No, I haven't been able to make that transition just yet," he quietly replied, then closed the door to continue moving down the floral wallpapered hallway.

I smiled to myself, taking note in the softer side of his heart, and squeezed his hand in mine, signaling I found his affirmation sweet. He grinned in response and quickly explained that the two doors we were currently passing were the guest rooms of the house, which were currently _occupied_. I rolled my eyes and let him continue pulling me with both his hands while he changed his position to walk backwards in front of me.

He showed me the room his brother had grown up in, then a bathroom, and a linen closet, all before coming to the end of the hallway where I was assuming his own room, and his bed, were awaiting us.

"This is my room, its nothing fancy, just a warning. You'll see I have the style sense of a true bachelor in about three seconds," he joked and pushed the door open with his hand at the knob.

I smiled at the basic black furniture that greeted us, and laughed over the lava lamp on the nightstand beside the bed and the dueling swords that hung over it.

"Not all of this is brand new, mind you. A lot of the stuff in here comes from my high school slash early college days," he joked, then closed the door behind me.

I noticed his fingertips glide across the lock and smiled to myself while I made my way towards his bed, already anticipating the revisit of some mindless, emotionless, fucking.

_This is exactly what you need in order to forget about everything else. World's best medicine for when you start to feel._

_Fuck till you can't think, then sleep it off._

He came up behind me and placed his hands over my hips to spin me around, then without much warning, his lips were on mine, kissing me with so much force I almost fell backwards onto the bed. I ran my hands through his hair and tugged his head back lightly so I could come up for some air. While trying to catch my breath, I felt his hands travel up my sides so that his fingertips were now grazing my skin from under my top, just below my breasts. His touch made me smile, so I dug my head against his chest to keep him from seeing the escaped grin on my face.

I needed to be coy with this, especially after telling him this would be nothing but friend fucking. If he saw me grinning over a simple touch from his fingertips it could be read the wrong way, and we didn't need to take any steps backwards.

After kissing my lips once more, he pulled away to look me in the eyes and began walking me backwards so he could push me back onto his bed, his eyes never leaving mine when he whispered softly that he'd been waiting to have me alone like this since the first night he'd laid his eyes on me.

"I see, so once you get this out of your system, should I expect to never hear from you again?" I teased, and leaned myself forward to kiss his smirking lips.

"I'm not going anywhere, beautiful. I promise. Not till you tell me to anyways," he replied, then crept forward so that his body was now hovering over mine with my head resting comfortably over his pillow while his forearms kept him above me.

"Well, for what it's worth… I've been waiting, too," I teased before wrapping my arms around his neck to bring his mouth back down to mine.

_Well, this is the moment of truth, Swan._

_Can. You. Still. Do. This?_

_

* * *

_

**~~*Edward*~~**

It was well after four in the morning when I finally got myself back to the house. I'd just experienced two hours of bland regularity after leaving Bella at Aro's. Heidi had proven to be everything I had thought she would be, and I'd bolted before she could even finish unbuttoning her pants at the foot of her bed.

I wasn't in the mood. I only had one thing on my mind, and that person was probably screaming someone else's name right this very second. I could see it in Bella's eyes when I left her behind. She was feeling exposed, and she needed to do something to forget those feelings. She was going to end up in bed with Aro tonight. That was fact, and I was dealing.

_Whatever. You wanted to play by her rules. Now you live with the fucked consequences._

"Hey, Edward," Alice chirped as I came into the kitchen. I was surprised she was still awake. I took that as a sign that everyone else was still out.

_Just as you'd expected she would be._

"How's it going, Little A?" I asked, pulling a glass down from the cabinet so I could pour myself a glass of water with an Alka-Seltzer tablet to start the process of sobering up.

"I was trying to wait up to get the low down on James' big date, but they're still not home, and my eyes are getting mad at me," she informed me, and I felt the sneer sneak across my lips before she'd even finished her sentence.

_Couldn't she just fuck him, get it out of her system, then get her ass back home to me?_

_Fuck, what if she doesn't come home. What if she actually spends the night with him?_

_Then you'll be up all night planning your next move, dumb ass._

"Did you try texting them?" I asked casually.

"Yeah… no one got back to-" she started to say just as we heard the front door open from the hallway.

"EEP! They're home!" Alice took off like a bat out of hell. I'd never seen a grown woman run so fast in pink bunny slippers, but the girl had speed, and I was impressed.

"You're back! Details! James, is he as sweet as he is good looking?" Alice was asking at the top of her lungs while I'd stayed back in the kitchen.

_No need to seem too eager._

I heard them making their way towards the kitchen and quickly moved myself to the computer room so it wouldn't seem as though I'd been waiting for her. I set myself up in front of the keyboard and signed in to my Skype account, then leaned back in the large chair and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands.

I was surprised to see a few of my buddies signed on. I quickly sent my best friend Garrett a message letting him know I was around, then stole a glance out into the other room where Tanya, James, Alice and a quiet, withdrawn looking Bella, were now sitting in a circle.

I still didn't like the look in her eyes, but I ignored it for the time being. I wasn't even sure if she'd realized I was in the next room. She looked absolutely lost in thought while she bit at her fingernails and hugged her knees to her chest, staring off into nothing.

A chirp from the computer alerted me to it's screen as a new message appeared in the conversation box.

**Garrett Rides:** _Word bro! Did you send in your fees for the comp? I swear to god if you puss out!_

I smiled at his attack and leaned forward on my elbows to reply as quietly as possible.

I kind of enjoyed being able to watch Bella without her realizing it… awake… for once.

_That's fucking creepy, grow the hell up, Cullen_.

**EM Cullen:** _Yeah. I called my manager today and told him to put my name in. How's the crew?_

**Garret Rides:** _Crew is good. We're all set up to head out that way next month. We're still invited right?_

**EM Cullen:** _Don't be stupid. Of course. Did you guys get everything booked?_

**Garrett Rides:** _Yup. Me, Ben, Laurent and Vic will arrive at two p.m. that Friday we talked about and we've got two rooms set up at a Holiday Inn that looks to be about a mile from where you're at._

**EM Cullen:** _Sounds good._

**Garrett Rides:** _So tell me about it. Has anything insane happened yet? Have you cracked that pussy?_

**EM Cullen:** _It's still going good. Everyone is really cool. I seriously have nothing bad to say about anyone._

**Garrett Rides:** _And the pussy?_

**EM Cullen:** _I'm keeping myself busy._

**Garrett Rides:** _That's my boy! Alright, well you just caught me on my way out. Shouldn't you be in bed, it's like what… after four in the morning over there?_

**EM Cullen:** _Yeah, I just got in. I was hoping to get some disconnected action, but when it came down to it, all I could think about was someone else._

**Garrett Rides:** _Ouch. Sorry bro. This girls really got you hung up. Nothing a little Jerkins wont help right? In other news, my jaw is to the floor over the revelation that someone's gotten your panties in a bunch. Who the hell'a'thought'it?_

**EM Cullen:**_ haha, I know right. It fucking sucks. Alright, tell everyone I said Hi._

I quickly signed out, then turned the computer off, stretching my arms and legs out in front of me from my chair before standing up. I looked out into the room and saw Bella and Tanya had disappeared, but Alice was still giving James an interrogation while he smiled like a smitten fool.

"Yo, have a good time tonight?" I asked my housemate before collapsing onto the other sofa across from them.

"Yeah, Felix is a nice guy. I think I may have struck gay gold," James joked, bringing Alice around his neck with another hug over his news.

"I'm so happy to see you smile, James, you deserved a nice man. I can't wait to get to know him. You need to invite him over for dinner! Tomorrow! I'll cook!"

I laughed listening to their exchange for another few minutes, then excused myself to head upstairs to see what the girls were up to. I was surprised to find the room dark, with both Tanya and Bella's bed's already occupied. I was even more surprised to hear sniffling coming from Bella's bed, but her back was turned towards me so I couldn't make out whether she was crying, or just suffering from a runny nose thanks to the cool air that was out tonight.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change, then glanced at my straight, drawn expression in the mirror.

_Do you even ask her how it went?_

I definitely didn't really want to hear about it. I saw it in her eyes before I left her. She was in dire need for a new distraction. Especially after laying everything out there for me to see.

She'd needed to prove to herself that she really was happy the way she was. That she didn't want to be fixed, and Aro would give that to her. Emotionless, disconnected fucking- her apparent cure all for everything.

_Fuck, this is so screwed up. Why the hell would she want this?_

You know why. She told you why.

_The same reasons you've gone pro in the random hook up/booty call department, Cullen. You're more alike then she knows._

The fear of giving someone everything, only to have your heart ripped out of your chest, that's debilitating.

I should know.

_Christ, stop being such an emo shit._

I took in a deep breath, then flipped the light off in the bathroom before opening the door to make my way towards my own bed.

Bella hadn't changed her position since I'd gone in to brush my teeth, so I got into my own bed, not wanting to scare the crap out of her by climbing in beside her if she was already sound asleep.

If she wasn't going to invite me in, then I would give her the space she was apparently requesting.

_Besides, do you really think she's going to want to sleep in your arms after being royally fucked by someone else's cock?_

Doubtful.

I let out an accidental huff, then pulled my covers up over me, wishing she'd turn her body, just so that I could just see she was okay. After the look on her face downstairs, and now the quick escape to bed with her back turned from my own bed… something wasn't right.

_Fuck, if he hurt her I will ram my fist through his fucking face!_

That thought had me sitting up instantly.

Removing myself from my bed, I closed the space between where we both slept and whispered a soft, 'pst' beside her ear.

"I'm fine Edward, go to bed," she mumbled, then pulled her blanket up further beside her chin.

I could hear it in her voice, though, she wasn't fine. She was upset about something, and I wasn't going to let it go.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked through clenched teeth, refusing to drop the subject.

"No, he was a total gentleman. Now let me sleep, please," she answered, still not turning around to look at me. It was a pointless battle, though. If she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't. If there was anything I'd learned about her, it was that she was good at keeping things locked up when she felt cornered and exposed.

"Bella, look at me," I pleaded, surprising even myself with my careful but stern tone.

"Tomorrow, Edward. Good-night," she answered, still not changing her position with her back facing me. I let out a sigh and stood up with my arms at my sides, feeling defeated. If we had been alone in the room, I would have turned the light on and demanded she talk to me, but it was too late to start that kind of drama.

"Bella-"

"Edward! Christ! I mean it. Leave me the fuck alone!" she snapped, finally turning to look me in the eyes.

I was right, she had been crying, and her cheeks were soaked.

There was nothing I could do, though, because she was pushing me away, and if I pushed back at this point, she'd only push harder.

"Fine. Goodnight," I mumbled, then made my way towards my own bed, letting out one last grunt before turning my own back to her.

While we laid there in the darkness, I could hear her quietly sobbing from under her pillow, and it continued to tear me apart. It must have lasted at least twenty minutes before her breathing finally settled, signaling that she had successfully cried herself to sleep, and I was now the only person awake in the room.

It didn't take me long to decide that tomorrow I would visit Aro.

* * *

**A/N: So there's a few answers for you, though, I'm sure because I've left you wondering whether or not she slept with Aro, you're possibly... probably, a bit peeved with me. You'll have to continue to wonder for a little while longer because I'm just mean like that. All things considered, with everything we know about Bella, what are you thinking? Did she or didn't she, and what's with the crying? **

**Big thanks to my pre readers for this one, Dreaming Of A Cullen (CC), and Lolypop82. I was a bit nervous about revealing more of Bella's past but they became the back bone I needed. Trust me, Bella's still got quite a few skeletons in the back of her closet, this was only the foundation for why she is the way she is. **

**Are we thinking she'll start to push Edward away again for a little while, or will her bipolar personality shine- allowing her to be absolutely fine the next morning? Aro wasn't exactly playing fair was he? Would it have been as easy for Bella to fall into bed with him if he hadn't shared the news that Edward had gone home with the town's _easy-lay_? And what do you think will happen when he goes to see Aro in the morning? I want to hear your thoughts! **

**Remember, I post teasers on the blog every Thursday! **

_***Please Review because it makes me smile, and I'll pay it forward with a fairly eye opening outtake (that is, if you're good with clues), *wink*.**_


	11. Lines Crossed Mistakes Made

******Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

******A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter took me a little while. I could give you a million excuses but to sum it all up, my own RL has been a total bitch. Lots of drama with this chapter... hang in there. *wink* **

******

* * *

**

**Lines Crossed Mistakes Made**

**Chapter 11**

**~~*Edward*~~**

The next morning I was up before the sun was even peeking through our window. I'd barely slept the night before, and when I had, it certainly wasn't restful. All I could think about were the dozens of different scenarios that could have taken place at Aro's last night after I'd left Bella at his place.

I never should have left her behind. She was in a vulnerable state, and I knew it. But still, I'd left her behind to face the fucking wolf in sheep's clothing, and now she was paying the price for my inability to man up.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind, he'd done something physically to hurt her, or he'd said something that had ultimately torn her apart when she'd come clean about her _ways_. It wasn't like her to show weakness, at least not to the point where she would shed actual tears. She'd looked horrified last night after letting just one single tear slip during our talk on the beach. It just wasn't in her nature to show that kind of emotion. So for her to have broken down the way she did, whatever had happened… it was fucked, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

"You're up early." James greeted me in the kitchen while he poured himself a cup of coffee by the sink, eyeing me suspiciously.

"So are you," I mumbled in return, then grabbed the keys from the counter top, praying he wouldn't ask any questions.

"Edward, it's hardly seven thirty, where the hell are you going?"

_And cue the interrogation._

My goal was to be gone before the camera guys got to the house at eight. So spending time with James, here in the kitchen, was not a wise move. The last thing I needed was Bella catching my confrontation with Aro on TV at a later date, after she'd had time to get over it.

I knew there was a very good chance she would need time to get over it, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

"I've got to go talk to someone," I replied calmly, avoiding his eyes, then grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and told him I'd be back in less than an hour. Hopefully.

"Whoa, hold on. Slow down. If you're going where I think you're going- you need to stop and consider what you're about to do," James suggested, blocking my path with his arm.

"What happened last night, James? Tell me the truth." I crossed my arms in front of me and narrowed my eyes in his direction, watching carefully for his expression.

He frowned, shook his head, then shrugged his shoulders lightly after releasing an exaggerated sigh. "I have no idea. I just know she was upset about something during the drive home. I mean, she and Aro seemed okay when we left, but she didn't say a word the entire time we were in the car. She barely even looked at us. Demetri brought us back, though, so I didn't get to see her interact with Aro for very long. She'd sent Tanya and I a text, asking if we were ready to go, so we met her downstairs and when we got there she was already outside waiting by the car. I swear, Edward, she seemed fine till we were getting in the car. I saw them say goodnight, so she wasn't angry with him. If we had said a word to her, though, I was sure she'd break down, I could see it on her face. I was hoping you wouldn't notice, especially after she went to bed before you came out from the computer room. I didn't want to bring it up last night. She needed space and time to deal with whatever it was that was bothering her. You know how she is."

I groaned and leaned against the wall, tossing the apple back and forth in my hands, "When I went upstairs she was crying, I mean really crying."

"So what are you going to do, just go over there and talk to Aro before you even try to talk to her? How do you think that will go over?" James questioned, trying to point out the obvious.

I'd already decided she'd probably be a little mad at me, it was worth the risk though, because I also knew she'd never tell me the truth about what had happened. I needed to know, otherwise the worst would be in the back of my mind and the next time we saw Aro I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. Losing my temper in front of Bella was out of the question.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. She's not going to tell me, and if he hurt her, he deserves what's coming to him. I'll be back soon," I sternly told him, then pushed by his body to head towards the front door without saying anything else.

* * *

After leaving the house I decided to drive around town till eight. I had to be sure I was mentally prepared to hear whatever it was Aro had to say, because if he said the wrong thing, it would be hard for me to hold myself back from putting him in the hospital.

It was just my luck that he'd _already_ be up and outside his house washing his fancy little vintage truck that I _already _wanted to take a baseball bat to.

He looked up and smirked after noticing it was me getting out of the van and I instantly felt my hands ball themselves up into fists at my sides.

_Lord help me, if he doesn't clean that smile off his face before I'm within distance to throw him to the ground, he's going to be eating the damn dirt, and my fists for breakfast._

"Morning, Edward. I'm surprised to see you this early, and without a camera crew, too. What can I do for you?" the slime ball carefully asked after dropping his soaked sponge into the bucket of water by his feet.

"I was hoping you could clear some things up for me, Aro," I was trying my best to stay calm while keeping my eyes locked with his, but all I could think about was pounding my fist into his smug face.

"Oh yeah? What about? I'm assuming this visit has something to do with _our_ girl Bella."

_Mother fuck._

All it took was that one three letter word.

O-U-R

My hands were instantly grasping his shirt while the rest of my weight pushed him up against his truck with a swift extension of my arm.

"Listen, you fuck, what the hell did you do to her!" I yelled, my face inches from his while we glared into each others eyes, nostrils flaring. After a few seconds his smirk returned, and I pushed him back further, praying that he would say one more smart ass thing so I'd have the permission I needed to introduce him to my fist. "Tell me what you did!" I demanded.

"I didn't do a fucking thing! Christ! Back the hell up man!" He shoved me back away from him, and smoothed his shirt down in front of his chest while shaking his head slowly in my direction. "Nothing that took place here was without her permission. If you want to know what happened, I suggest you talk to her, because it's obvious you haven't, otherwise you probably wouldn't be here. No- scratch that. I know you wouldn't be here. The evening Bella and I shared was entirely consensual, and I've got to say, I'm pretty pissed you would think otherwise."

"Then why was she crying when she got home?" I spat back, taking a step closer to him again, my fists drawn at my side.

"Hell if I know… _though_… let's think for a minute. Where were _you_ last night, before she got home. What did you do after you left here? Perhaps, _Edward_, her being upset had nothing to do with me at all. Did you even stop to consider that?" he asked, smirking again. "I swear on my life, everything that happened between her and me, she asked for, and wanted. You might not think too highly of me, but I'd never force her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. I'm not that kind of an asshole."

_What the hell is he talking about… what about me? We weren't talking about me. She left him and came home crying. She hadn't just left me. This has nothing to do with me!_

But then it hit me.

_Shit, why hadn't I considered it before?_

_Maybe because you were only out trying to do what she was out trying to do so it didn't seem like that big a deal?_

_Tits-for-tat in the distraction department._

"You told her I left the bar with someone," I replied just above a whisper, shaking my head and feeling pissed with myself for being so incredibly weak.

She had been upset because she thought after spilling her guts to me and baring her soul, that I had, in turn, run off to sleep with the first thing that spread its legs for me. I was no better than every other man she'd ever come across in her life, only looking for a quick, and easy lay.

Just as these thoughts began to settle, someone stirred from Aro's house, and I felt my jaw drop as I processed what I was seeing.

The same fucking female who may have assisted in causing Bella to take five steps back from me… the same woman who I'd ultimately walked away from before getting my dick wet, was now walking out of Aro's house with her shoes draped over her shoulders and a smug smile on her face.

"Morning, Edward."

My mind was quickly calculating what all this meant.

_Was the entire thing a set up? Did this mother fucker actually arrange it all once he saw me return to the bar, looking for the rest of my friends?_

No. Fucking. Way.

"Seems when you couldn't take care of things, Heidi found another outlet that could give her what she needed. You missed out, she's a pretty phenomenal lay. You're what now, zero and two with the ladies when it comes to actually sealing the deal with your cock, Cullen?"

"You fucking prick!" I was seeing red, and my hands were once again clenched to his shirt, pressing him with force against his truck.

"Oh Lord, here we go," Heidi snickered, then rolled her eyes watching our exchange. "Aro, honey, thanks for _another_ memorable night. Edward, I suggest you jump on your white horse and get your shit worked out with that roommate of yours. You two obviously have huge issues."

I sneered at her advice and loosened my grasp on Aro's shirt after my initial anger began to subside.

I didn't need to go to jail over this asshole, but if he said another word to me I knew that's where I would be heading. Especially with someone here as a witness.

"You made your choice. You shouldn't be mad at me. If there's anyone to be mad at it's yourself, bro. All I did was tell Bella the truth. Its obvious you haven't made her your priority, so why should she make you hers? I gave her the push she needed so I'd get what I wanted. It wasn't hard, and don't act like you've never in your life done the same thing with a girl. You may not want to admit it, but you and me, we're a lot a like Edward. To be totally honest, that small fact actually made it all incredibly easy for me, so thanks for being so predictable. Seriously." And with the completion of his last sentence, after Heidi had already driven away, my fist met his face knocking him backwards into his truck again.

For a moment he looked completely shocked, and then slightly angry, but the fucker only chuckled in response after straightening himself back up again.

"Nice follow through, Edward. I'm impressed. I'm not going to fight you, though. This is all part of the game. My advice to you, the quicker you learn to play along, the further along you'll get. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do, and Bella and I have plans for lunch this afternoon so I need to get back to work here." Aro shared with another smirk after using the back of his hand to wipe the blood from his lip that my fist had brought on.

My head was spinning. Was it really possible for someone to be this manipulative. What were the chances that he'd actually planned and calculated all of this from the very beginning?

Fuck me. Chances were good because he was right. I had been him before. I knew all these tricks, and I'd used them more than once in my life when it came to dealing with a pair of legs and a set of tits.

_You are the thing you hate the most. Way-to-go, Cullen. No wonder she likes the both of you. Apparently, you both carry the gene for potential douche-bag-ism._

It was obvious to me now that I should have listened to James. I never should have come here.

"If I find out you're lying. If you did anything to her, I swear to God, this won't be the last time my fist sees your face," I warned with my teeth clenched.

"I meant what I said. She left my bedroom smiling," he replied bluntly, and touched his lip again before licking the returned blood from the corner of his mouth. "Here's another heads up for you, though, because I'm in a giving mood this morning. She doesn't want to be changed, Edward. You can't force her. Girls like her, they're unfixable. The sooner you accept that, the more fun you'll be able to have with her, and I think you'd agree with me, she can be _a lot_ of fun."

I glared in his direction and kept my mouth closed with my fists drawn at my sides. I wasn't going to say anything else. I wouldn't give him the benefit of knowing he'd gotten further under my skin.

* * *

The entire drive back to the house my mind was racing. I'd just crossed a major line going to see Aro, that was fact now. I knew I'd broken all kinds of rules. If I had taken a minute to really think about it, instead of letting my testosterone get in the way of my logic, I would have realized James was right before walking out the front door this morning.

Obviously things were okay between them if she'd made plans to see him for lunch today.

I was more than screwed, and a part of me didn't want to return to the house at all today. When Bella found out I'd gone to see Aro she was going to be angry, and she was going to need time to cool down.

Time away from me.

Far, far away from me.

The _all-I-want-to-do-is-fuck_ bartender buddy of hers was a smart mother fucker, I'd give him that. Calculated, planned, and well played.

After I pulled up to the house, I ran my hands through my hair, took in a deep breath, and let my head fall onto the steering wheel in front of me.

I jumped in my seat when a tap came from the window. After glancing upward, I found Alice smiling behind her sunglasses with a beach bag draped over her shoulder.

"Just in time. Tanya, Rose, and I are going to go down to the beach for a little while so we need to use the van."

"Oh, um. Okay… want me to drop you off?" I asked, hoping desperately for a reason to leave the house again.

"Nah, James said he would drive us. Emmett is out back lifting weights," she told me, then frowned before adding Bella had been up, but that she'd climbed back into bed after using the bathroom. "Did something happen last night? She didn't say much when she got home. I was too excited with James' news to really realize it till this morning."

"I don't know. I don't think so, not with Aro. I mean something did happen, but I think it was my own fuck up," I admitted after releasing a forced breath from my lips. I slowly turned myself around so she'd miss my beat up expression and opened the van's side door, letting her in after I'd noticed everyone else was on their way down the walk way.

"Crap, are you serious? Now what did you do?"

If there was anyone in the house I'd be comfortable talking to about this, I knew it was Alice, but I wasn't about to get into it with everyone else just a few feet away from us.

"Yeah, it's a long story, but I have to go try and make it right. It's probably good you guys are going to be out of the house," I replied honestly, then noticed Jasper creeping off to the side of us, with his camera carefully zooming in on our exchange. The sight of him forced me to let out another exasperated breath.

I was already annoyed.

Things were going to get ugly, and it was all going to be caught on tape.

_Fucking fantastic. __Well at least the scummy producers will be happy._

"Have fun," I mumbled to the girls just as James caught me by the arm to pull me towards the sidewalk.

"What happened? What did he say?"

"Did you know they have lunch plans today?" I asked, sounding more than disgusted by the news that had left my own lips.

"No. Like I said, she didn't say a word after we left his house. Is that what he told you?" my housemate asked again, pressing further while the girls eyed us suspiciously from inside the van. "So then it wasn't anything he did?"

"I may be giving him more credit than he deserves, but I'm pretty sure he set me up, and now I have to go explain myself so I can try and make it right. I know I'm screwed, though. So, yeah… take your time playing taxi driver,"

"Want me to get Emmett out of the house with us?" James offered, but I shook my head in response.

"Nah, it's cool. I may need him to come to my rescue if Bella really loses her temper. Drive safe," I told him with a forced smile, then slapped his shoulder with my opened hand before walking past him to head up to the house.

When I got inside, I went into the kitchen to grab a bottled water and glanced out back, where I saw Emmett lifting weights in the corner like a giant gorilla. He was lost in his repetitions so I didn't bother him. Instead, with Jasper following closely behind me, I made my up the stairs where I found Bella still curled up in her bed facing the window of our shared room with the curtains drawn. She stirred from under her comforter when the beaded curtain brushed together, creating a tiny alarm that someone had reentered the room. I heard her release a soft yawn and watched as she stretched her limbs out below her sheets before she pulled her pillow out from under her head to drop it over her face with a forced huff.

_Well, Cullen, you're about to ruin everything you've worked so hard to achieve over the last few weeks_, a voice prompted in the back of my mind while I continued to silently watch her._ Mind your honesty, and watch your words because these next few minutes could decide the next two and a half months._

I could hear her mumbling from beneath the feathered bedding and smiled for a moment, realizing she was giving herself a talking to. The words, _stupid_, and _fuck_ were definitely popular in the muffled rant she was unleashing upon herself.

Reluctantly, I cleared my throat, exposing my position. I watched, finding a smile again, as her body stilled itself before she slowly began to pull her pillow deeper against her face.

She was no doubt trying to suffocate herself now.

I heard a mumbled greeting of 'good morning,' come from beneath the feathers and frowned after realizing she was going to do her best in order to avoid any kind of real conversation that might involve talking about last night's events.

"Everyone's left but Emmett. He's out back pumping iron," I informed her, still with her pillow covering her face.

"Where'd they all go?" she asked after finally revealing her puffy eyes to me. I smiled watching her drop her pillow back behind her body before she sat up against her head board with another soft yawn escaping her widely parted lips.

"Beach," I answered back, waiting for her to actually make eye contact with me. She didn't and I huffed like a cave man, "Bella."

"It's another day, Edward. A fresh new morning. Let's not start it with unpleasant conversations, okay?" she requested just above a whisper after finally looking me in the eyes. I watched her get up from her bed to get a change of clothes from the dresser we shared, then cleared my throat again. Jasper was, of course, already set up in the corner of the room with his camera placed securely on his shoulder pointed in our direction.

"We have to talk about it, Bella, I need to know why you were upset."

"Well I wish I could tell you, because it's a mystery to me as well. I think I was just being hormonal. I can get like that. I have a vagina, it's allowed."

"Don't blame last night on PMS, Bella. You were upset, and I know you don't get upset like that," I sternly replied, crossing my arms in front of me as she mirrored my stance with her own narrowed eyes glaring into mine.

"Really, and tell me, Edward, just because I've told you a few things about my fucked up past, do you really think you know me all that well? You do realize we only just met, barely two weeks ago. For all you know, I'm a pathological liar, and everything I've told you thus far is nothing more than a made up persona, to create good television," she teased with a forced grin, obviously trying to make a joke out of our conversation. She was working hard to put on an act. She desperately wanted to believe that everything was alright, even though we both knew nothing could be further from the truth.

She _was_ right about one thing, though, we hadn't known each other for very long, but that didn't mean shit to me because in the last two weeks she'd let me in on more than she'd realized. "Yeah, Bella, I think I do know you. Better than you know, or want to admit," I calmly answered then asked her to come sit back down with me so we could talk things out.

"There's nothing to talk about. You left me at Aro's. Aro came home, I came clean about you and me, Aro and I hung out, I came home and went to bed. I've warned you about this, Edward, you're not supposed to ask me questions about my other friends. That's a major deal breaker. I won't question you about your shit, and you don't question me about mine. Those are the rules, and it's the only way this will work."

"Bella, listen. I did something stupid…"

"Uh-oh. What now?" she toyed casually, flipping her dreads back behind her shoulders with a brush of her hands.

I took a deep breath and ran my hand threw my hair while shifting my weight nervously beneath me, "Look, I talked to Aro. I know he told you I left the bar with someone. But what I don't know is if you were upset over that, or if it was something else. I need you to talk to me, because if it was me, it's not what you think," I finally got out after grabbing her by the hand so she wouldn't be able to easily walk away from me.

There was dead silence in the room while she processed my words. I watched her eyes go from soft and desperate, to guarded with fury. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they fixed themselves into a heated stare as her thoughts spun around the information I had just shared with her.

And then it came.

"You did, WHAT?" She yelped, forcefully yanking her arm free from my grasp while her eyes continued to glare in my direction, "What the fuck do you mean you talked Aro, you talked to him where? When? This morning! Please tell me that he came here, because I swear to God, Edward, if you," She stopped for a moment to take a breath then took another step back while her eyes scanned my body up and down with confusion.

"You wouldn't talk to me, I was sure he'd done something. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I was up all night, so I wasn't thinking straight when I drove over to his place. I had to know if he'd done something to hurt you," I reluctantly explained.

"I told you last night, Aro was a total gentleman, Edward. Who the hell are you to go and talk to anyone about me? You have no right! You are NOT my keeper!" she screamed, her face turning red from anger while she pointed her index finger in my direction. "What I do, is my business. No one else's. Not yours, not Aro's, not James'. Not Jake's, Sam's, Paul's, Eric's or Embry's. NO one's! I cannot even BELIEVE you would go see Aro. What was the point? If he had done something to me, what would you have done? Hit him? If there's anything I can't stand its guys wanting to act like macho little shits, who think they own something, when they fucking DON'T!" she yelled at the top of her lungs before shoving me backwards with both of her hands. "What were you hoping to hear? That he forced himself on me? He didn't force me to do anything, Edward. Everything that happened was entirely sought out by me. If you want the details, fine. First he took me upstairs to his room. When we got to his room, he wasted no time to push me back onto his bed. Once I was laying on his bed, entirely willing, he climbed on top of me where I quickly pulled his shirt from his body so I could feel his skin against mine…"

"Bella, _stop_." I ordered, feeling my own anger begin to rise.

I didn't need to hear this shit. She was well aware of that and only trying to push me away further.

Her eyes continued to glare in my direction, with her breathing heavy while her head moved, slowly shaking itself back and forth with a snarl across her lips. "I can't- I can't even look at you right now. I just can't believe you would go and do that. Why did you have to do that? I trusted you." I watched her face crumble once more with her final words before she stomped herself into the bathroom, instantly slamming the door behind her.

I let out a frustrated grunt of my own and grabbed my skateboard from the top of the dresser.

Never in my life had I seen a female get so angry without shedding a tear. I mean she was just… livid and full of emotion, but she was no where near crying. She felt betrayed and I had been the betrayer. The worst part being, she had every right to be pissed off at me and to feel the way she did. With my actions this morning I'd most likely set us back weeks. As much as I didn't want to admit that, it was the truth, and it was now my reality.

I tucked my board under my arm, knowing she wouldn't want to see me when she came back into the room, and quickly headed down stairs with Jasper on my heels. Once through the doorway, I caught Emmett standing at the foot of the staircase with a worried expression on his face.

"Dude. What the hell happened?" he asked scratching his head with confusion.

"I fucked up. She let me in, and I fucked it all up. I have to get out of here, she's not going to want to see me. If you guys need me I'll be over at the abandoned school letting out some steam on my board." I told him, doing my best to avoid his stare. I didn't wait for him to respond. It was pointless. Nothing he could say would make any of it better. I'd dug my own grave, now I would lie in it till Bella was ready to dig me back out again.

* * *

The sun was getting ready to set, signaling that it was time for me to call it a day and head back to the war zone. This was nothing new for me. Spending an entire day by myself skating used to be my norm. Hell, I used to do it all the time back in Cali when shit would start to pile up. I did find it a bit ironic, though, that the last time I'd needed such a day had also been the last time a female had gotten under my skin.

That realization alone was enough to fuck with my head and keep me away from the cement pool for most of the day.

When I got back to the house, things were quiet, and I was cautious. After setting my board up against the wall beside the foot of the staircase by the front door, I made my way into the kitchen where I found Tanya cooking at the stove. Alice was chopping vegetables at the counter while everyone else laid around in the living room with various forms of reading materials in front of them.

Bella was noticeably absent.

"Hey," I cleared before pouring myself a glass of water at the sink.

"Dude, we were about to send out a search party," Emmett announced, sitting up from the couch where he'd been laying with Rose under his arm.

"You knew where I was," I answered firmly.

"Yeah, I know. But all freaking day?"

"Where's Bella?" I asked to no one in particular. I watched as they all glanced nervously between one another then answered my question for them, "Still out with Aro. Super."

"What the hell happened? Emmett said you guys had a fight?" I couldn't help but note the hint of excitement in Tanya's voice after she'd covered her pan on the oven and turned around to face me. Alice threw me a sorrowful look, and I shrugged at first in response.

Jasper was stationed in the corner of the room with his camera not missing a thing, as per usual, so it was important that I watched my words while I gave a brief rundown of everything that had occurred since last night, skipping over the details of Bella's past. That was her story to tell, not mine.

"So, I don't get it, though, what was she upset about then?" Rose questioned with a huff after sitting herself up on the sofa beside Emmett once I was through.

"I don't know. She never actually told me," I answered calmly before letting out a aggravated sigh.

_Stop that. You sound like a pussy shit when you do that crap, I instantly prompted myself._ I didn't need my roommates to know just how frustrated I was over all this.

"Bro, she was fucking pissed when Aro got here with a fat lip. I can't believe you actually hit him. I mean, I can, I'm surprised you hadn't done it sooner, but still. I'd keep my distance if I were you. From her, and him. At least for a little while," Emmett carefully suggested just as the door chirped that someone new had entered the house. I grimaced at the thought that Aro's smug face would be rounding the corner at any second.

Thankfully, Bella was alone.

The room stayed silent while she made her way towards the cabinet to pull a glass down from the shelf. All eyes were on her as she reached up to grab the bottle of vodka from the top of the fridge, still without saying anything to the room. She filled the cup half way with the clear liquid before mixing in a splash of orange juice, then asked Tanya how long it would be before dinner was ready.

"Um, er… twenty minutes if the stupid potatoes would soften the hell up. These things are still just as hard as Demetri's dick was last night! How was your afternoon Bella?" Tanya casually enquired while her eyes scanned our closed off roommate suspiciously.

"It was nice, thanks. Aro took me up the coast to see a secluded part of the beach. We started to write a new song together. I think it's going to be pretty great, so I'm excited," she answered calmly, then made her way past me without even looking in my general direction. Jasper crossed in front of me, getting a shot of my face while I watched her walk away. I frowned, realizing I was still allowing myself to look like a total push over on camera, and it was all her doing.

"Bella, can we talk outside for a minute?" I asked before even considering my words.

"Um, _no_. We talked enough this morning. I have nothing else to say to you. When I do have something to say, I'll let you know. Until then, I'd appreciate it tremendously if you stayed the hell out of my way," she bluntly replied, still without looking in my direction as she made her way towards the computer room. I felt my eyes narrow, and my fists ball up at my sides over her cold response.

_Stay calm. You knew this was how it would be_, a voice reminded me, but I of course ignored it's warning.

"Fine. If you want to act like a child, so fucking be it," I grunted in return then tossed my own glass into the sink with a loud crash. I needed to get out of here before I said something else. There was nothing that infuriated me more than a female who refused to talk when I was fucking willing. If she couldn't appreciate the fact that I was stepping out of my comfort zone for her, since arriving here in South Carolina, then there was no point in even trying. At least not right now. So I'd give her what she wanted. I'd stay the hell out of her way. She'd be back. The only question was, how long would it take, and would I still be waiting?

* * *

***~~JAMES~~***

After Edward threw his minor temper tantrum and stormed out of the kitchen over Bella's refusal to discuss things any further, I followed her into the computer room in hopes of getting a little more information out of her. If my suspicions were correct, based on what I'd gathered already, Bella was mad at Edward and this really had nothing at all to do with Aro.

I mean, obviously she and the bar boy were fine. They'd just spent the entire afternoon together writing music, while just the presence of Edward had sent her into total shut down mode. Bella was an interesting specimen. She didn't react to things the way most women would, but at the same time she was entirely predictable to me. I guess in a way, she reminded me a lot of my sister back home. Although, my sister used her self-asserted independence to climb a corporate ladder and forget about her friends and family, while Bella chose to climb aboard a Merry-Go-Round of dicks for an endless cycle of emotionless boning.

I knew on our way to Aro's last night, that something would happen. Her and Edward would share some kind of bonding moment, and then he'd leave her behind to clean out her skeletons with Aro. Once alone with the brooding wannabe musician _slash_ bartender, she'd fall into bed with him in hopes of making it all okay and more believable that she wasn't actually falling for our housemate in a _more_ than friends kind of way.

Even though it was absolutely obvious to me that she was already tumbling hard, and fast, for her green eyed, breathtakingly beautiful roommate… for whatever reason she was refusing to accept it.

The man was insanely hot, though, which made it all seem slightly ridiculous to me. As a gay man, there was no way I could ignore that tiny factoid.

The pretty boy likes you. Accept it, love it, hope for the best, then see what happens. It's what any normal person would do. The drama that always came along with sex was to be expected. At least it would be to anyone else who grew up with a normal circle of friends.

They both had it bad, and I had been enjoying the show, until all hell broke loose this morning. Now I needed to step up and be the mediator they needed me to be because this wasn't going to work. They were only prolonging the inevitable, and I refused to stand by quietly while they continued to build walls around each other.

Thankfully, we'd gotten to be on good terms with the southern camera man who went by the name of Jasper, but as of late, I'd gotten the impression that he was being pressured to seek out the more dramatic moments in the house. Especially after he'd let Bella slip through his fingers a few nights back. I wasn't surprised when he followed me into the room before I could shut the door behind me.

Bella looked up from the computer screen in front of her, glanced me over, then took a sip from her magical elixir before placing the glass on the table top beside her. "What-up, _James_?"

"Just wanted to say hey, thought maybe you could use some company."

"You mean you wanted to see if you could get inside this stubborn, hypocritical, selfish thinking head of mine?" she smirked in response and returned her gaze to the computer screen while her fingers moved across the keyboard.

At least she had some of her sense of humor still lingering. That was a good sign. She wasn't in total _Fuck-The-World_ mode.

I smiled and took a seat on the floor beside her, then gave her chair a light push with my foot, "Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush, because we both know, I don't do bush," I explained with my own grin hoping to help her relax a little. "I realize I don't know you very well yet, I mean not as well as Edward, but I'm kind of worried and concerned about what happened last night. You don't want to talk to him. You need space. I get that. But you shouldn't keep it all bottled up. I'm here, with open ears. You can tell me anything, and I'll only listen."

She looked down into my eyes for a brief moment and frowned, then bit at her bottom lip the same way she always did when she was feeling nervous or exposed.

"He never should have gone to see Aro. That was not his place. I'm allowed to feel homesick; I'm allowed to get a little emotional when things start to feel heavy. He may not think it was like me to get upset, but that's just it. There's still a lot about me that he doesn't know, but he wants to act like he understands it all. He doesn't. He never will. Him starting shit with Aro, someone I consider a friend, after I'd specifically told him Aro had been a total gentleman towards me, it was fucked up James, and it crossed a very important line. I have every right to be pissed off. If I didn't have to live with him for the next ten weeks, I swear to God, he'd be permanently removed from my life."

"That's a lie, Bella. You know it wouldn't be that easy. You and Edward have a special connection. That's scaring you so you're…"

"I thought you said you were only here to listen," she grumbled, interrupting me while again avoiding my eyes.

"Yeah, I lied a little too," I replied in return, bumping her chair with my extended foot again. "You like him. It scares you. I get that."

"I hardly know him. He's good for oral pleasure and conversation, _sometimes_. There's nothing else going on. Him going behind my back, talking to Aro, then punching him! That tells me Edward obviously thinks there's something more going on here, so now it's up to me to make it clear that's not at all the case. I can take care of myself. I've done it all my life. I don't need handlers, and I certainly don't need some manwhore inserting himself into my affairs when he's no fucking better!" She was getting angry now, but there was still room for a little more prodding.

"Okay so you're mad at him for talking to Aro."

"I'm mad at him for going behind my back, and for hitting my friend when he didn't do a thing to deserve it," she corrected me with a frustrated huff before her hands pulled her hair up into a large chaotic looking pony tail at the top of her head.

I smiled at the sight and she rolled her eyes at me with a flustered sound escaping her lips.

"So then, what you're telling me, though… I mean, lets go back to where all this started. It started with you leaving Aro's looking as though your best friend had just been shot in the head right in front of you." I saw her flinch over my chosen comparison and stored her expression in my memory for further analysis at a later time. "You came home, didn't say a single word. Not to any of us. Then you went upstairs and according to him, you cried yourself to sleep. He was worried. I would have been worried. Anyone would be worried and concerned if they found their friend sobbing in the dark."

"Is it a crime now to cry? Jesus! I miss my friends. I miss my home. I miss the regularity of things I'm familiar with."

"Things, or feelings you're familiar with?" I pressed quietly, wishing now more than ever that Jasper would take a hint and leave us alone so I could make some real progress with her. I glanced at him and threw a pleading look, straight into the camera lens. He frowned in response and coughed lightly.

"Shit, my battery just died," he mumbled after a few seconds of internally battling right versus wrong when it came to handling the situation unfolding in front of him.

I smirked and nodded my head in thanks, then watched him leave the room, closing the door behind him, before I returned my stare to Bella.

"James, its. _This_… it's all just too much, way too fast. I mean, seriously too fast. I signed up to do this for three months of careless, mind-numbing fun. Not to face everything I've been running from all my life. I'm good on my own. I can't disappoint anyone but myself when all I've got is me."

Her words rang true to me, and I frowned, realizing that Bella really was a troubled soul.

"You're not alone, though. You have your boys back home. You can't tell me they don't watch over you."

"Like I told you, they know me. They know when to push, and they know when to back off. None of them would ever do what Edward did, not if I didn't ask them to," she admitted quietly just as the speaker on the computer announced she had a Skype call coming in. "I have to take this," she mumbled, throwing me one last glance with her lip between her teeth again.

"Okay, thanks for talking with me, and not shutting me out," I replied, slowly standing up to stretch my arms out in front of me.

"Yup. I just need time. Things weren't right. They weren't moving… naturally. I have to figure out how to get it all back on track again so I can stay true to myself and do what's best for me. I need to come first. Before anything else."

I understood what she was saying, but her honesty brought a fresh frown to my face. Quickly, I removed it and shook my head. "For what it's worth, Bella, he's really sorry. He's a man, and he cares about you. He reacted the way most friends would after they found someone they care about visibly upset. I think I need to remind you, you didn't grow up with a normal friend format around you. You can't look at Edward the same way you look at your _boys_ back home. He's not the same."

She narrowed her brow at me and mumbled something under her breath, then brushed me away with a flip of her hand.

"Thanks for the more than obvious reminder."

Those were her final words to me before she answered the annoying ringing coming from the computer.

I'd gotten through to her, though. She didn't want to admit it, but I had. With my feelings of victory, I made my way back out into the living room and smiled, letting the rest of my housemates know everything had gone okay.

"She's just pissed. She'll come around. Give it a few days. She'll be back to the Bella we all met on our first night here soon enough. Mark my words."

* * *

**~~*Edward*~~**

Four more days had passed without Bella saying a single word to me. She'd barely acknowledged my existence let alone looked my way since our last run in with the entire house watching. Everyone seemed to understand this was something Bella and I needed to work out on our own, so they'd managed to stay out of it for the most part.

Well almost everyone. Even Rose had her limits, though.

"Rose, can you pass me the salad dressing?" Bella had just requested causing me to roll my eyes slightly.

This was nothing new.

The salad dressing was closer to me. So in theory, Bella should have been asking _me_ for the stupid Fat Free Oil and Vinegar, no one else.

Rose snickered and made a big deal out of reaching for the bottle, then slid it across the table forcefully towards my roommate. "Seriously, Bella, I think were all pretty tired of this. How the hell are you two going to work together tomorrow if you can't even ask him for the goddamn salad dressing. He's sitting four feet away from you. Jesus fucking Christ. Get over yourself."

Everyone silenced after Bella impulsively dropped her fork to her plate in response. I prepared myself to jump from my seat to help Emmett in holding Bella back from pulling Rose's hair extensions from her head in retaliation.

Instead, she showed no sign of emotion. She simply stood up from the table, excused herself, then took her plate to empty its full contents into the trash and left the room. She'd already been drinking, most of the day, and it was evident in her walk when she left us all behind in the dinning room to escape towards the stairs.

"She's wasted and it's hardly even eight o'clock." Rose snickered under her breath before taking another bite of her food from her fork forcefully.

"She also barely ate anything; did you see her plate?" Tanya asked the rest of us. "I mean, I don't think I've seen her put anything but liquor in her mouth all day."

"Leave the girl alone. Starting work tomorrow will be good for her," James replied quietly then stood up to clear his own plate into the trash can and began rinsing it at the sink. Emmett had told me James and Bella talked the day of our big fight, but I hadn't asked him for any information. If he'd had permission to share anything with me, he would have, so I didn't press the matter. I was just glad she was talking to someone. Even if it wasn't me.

"Why will that be good for her? She's going to have to work with_ him_, and she hasn't even looked at _him_ in days," Tanya pointed out again, gesturing towards me with a wag of her finger.

I took in a deep breath then exhaled slowly, wishing I could hop into a time machine to take it all back. For the millionth time since my fuck up a few days ago, I wanted nothing more than to just start all over again.

I certainly wasn't looking forward to work tomorrow, but I was hoping it would give me the opening I needed to get back into her good graces. I mean, she'd have to speak to me if we were working together. She wouldn't have a choice.

_Unless she puts in a request to be switched into another group._

_Shit._

I let out another huff, then stood up to scrape my plate and followed James out to the porch, hoping I could get some advice from him since he seemed to somehow have a good read on Bella and her… ways. He didn't have to tell me what she told him. I only needed to know it wouldn't last much longer.

"I'm giving her space man, but this is tearing me a part. It be different if she wasn't spiraling the way she is. That's what I'm worried most about. She leaves in the morning, is gone all day with _him_, doing God knows what, but then she comes back and she drinks like a fucking fish to the point where she's passing out on the ledge outside our window with a cigarette in her hand. That's not normal, and it's not okay."

"She's working through it the only way she knows how, you just need to give her time. She'll come around. This won't last that much longer. From what she's told me, and don't you dare tell her I told you this, but she said things were happening too fast… with you, I'm assuming. Aro had nothing to do with it. She's mad at herself more than anyone else, though."

"That makes no sense, why would she be mad at herself?" I asked, feeling my frustration grow again.

"Sorry, man, that's all I can tell you," he answered back with a frown before crossing his arms in front of him.

"I have an idea."

"Uh-oh," James replied, this time with a slight smirk, "your last idea didn't work out very well, Cullen," he reminded me, and I rolled my eyes.

"I was thinking about contacting one of her friends from back home. She left her Skype open the other night, and I noticed one of the names. I may or may not have written it down. Maybe they've been through something similar with her. I'm just worried the drinking is going to take its toll. What if there's some history there, and she's on a path towards self destruction? I mean she was obviously already running from something when she signed up for all this."

"Edward, you got in trouble for going over her head to talk to one of her friends. Do you really think it's wise to do it again? Please listen to me this time. It's not a smart thing to do."

I growled on impulse and ran my hand through my hair aggressively, feeling my frustration rise even further. "No, you're right."

"Just give her a little more time. I think we'll start to see the old Bella really soon," James assured me, then pressed my shoulder with his hand.

I shook my head and leaned back on the bench we were both sharing. Even though I wasn't a religious man, I silently prayed that he was right, because I knew I couldn't take another day of this.

* * *

**A/N: Bam. I told you there was going to be drama. Okay so to clarify... the truth about what really happened between Bella and Aro in his bedroom is still a mystery. So don't start hating on her just yet.**

**Big thanks to my amazing beta ****clarabella75, I work her butt off fo'real and she never complains! Also big hugs to my girl CC for looking over the outtake from CH 10 for me. I loves her HARD!**

**Soooooo did anyone watch tonight's first episode of the newest season of The Real World? I swear to god, I felt like I was watching IRL on my TV. It was insane, if you watched, you'll understand why. :P**

**Alright, thoughts, theories, feelings? What did Bella mean exactly when she said she trusted Edward during their fight? Was she really talking about him going to see Aro, or was she referring to something a bit deeper? Hmmmmmm... *wink***

**I promise I won't take as long with the next chapter. Girl-scouts honor. **

***Please review because you know I always pay it forward with something special, *wink*, and because it makes me smile.***


	12. First & Second Impressions

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: So yeah. I suck. Big. Total fail on updating quickly. Between FFn being a total bitch, and a family vacay to Disney... I was not _winning_ when it came to getting this chapter up. All I can say is sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me. I posted the outtake from CH 11 to the IRL blog, because I'd received several PM's from readers telling me they were unable to review. This way everyone gets a look-see at some more of Bella's screwy past, and I was also able to make it a little bit longer since there was no character limit. Alright so here we go... will Bella keep Edward at an arms length with her Anti-Cullen-Chastity-Panties (aka: ACCP's) on tight, or will she give M&M another chance? Let's tune in and find out. **

* * *

**First and Second Impressions **

**Chapter 12**

**~~*Edward*~~**

We were all gathered downstairs nervously waiting to head out for our first day of work. I was feeling exhausted after another night of lying awake plotting ways to reconstruct mine and Bella's screwed up relationship. Looking around the room, I had to admit, wearing our Khaki pants and matching polo shirts, we looked like we belonged inside the pages of a J. Crew catalog. I felt like a preppy fuck, and it was driving me insane. I refused to tuck the damn shirt in, no matter how much Alice insisted I should.

Bella was still giving me the silent treatment, though she did move me out of her way in the kitchen this morning with the use of her foot. I was taking that as a total sign that she was one step closer to forgiving me.

"Alright, let's get this party started. Time to mold some young, impressionable minds!" Emmett hollered, then threw his fists up in the air playfully before heading towards the front door. We all followed his lead, and I stole another glance at Bella, who was whispering with Alice a few feet in front of the rest of us.

Thankfully, I'd gotten a lot better at reading lips over the last few days.

The words, _'ignore'_ and _'awkward'_ were definitely being used, and I was pretty sure they were being used within a sentence that also contained my name.

Once at the van, Bella called shot gun and quickly climbed into her seat before anyone could challenge her on the request. Rose snickered from behind me, but James hushed her with a poke of his finger and she reluctantly quieted down. I smiled, appreciating his ability to reign in our housemates inability to keep her bitchy side under wraps when it mattered the most.

"Here you go, Edward. You drive." He suggested with a smirk, and tossed the van keys in my direction. I looked back up at him with my brow raised, my heart rate accelerating. His smile grew in return and he gestured with his head, further insisting that I take on the responsibility to get us where we were going with Bella sitting beside me.

I already knew this was a bad idea, but I reluctantly agreed and tossed the keys two times in my hand in front of me.

When I climbed into the driver's seat, my mute roommate looked over, making eye contact with me for about two seconds, then let out an annoyed huff. I watched with a frustrated frown of my own as she turned to look out her window with her arms hugging her body tightly. I took in a deep breath, and turned the key in the ignition.

"Seatbelt," I prompted, keeping my eyes fixed on her before redirecting my attention to the road in front of us. I didn't care that she wasn't talking to me, she wasn't going to ride in this van, in the front seat, without buckling up. Bella mumbled something under her breath about _cursed seat-belts_, but she eventually pulled the strap across her body and snapped its buckle into place.

For whatever reason that made me smile.

Thankfully, Alice took it upon herself to talk our ears of while we made our way across town. "Oh my God, I can't wait to meet my kids. I already started looking up arts and crafts activities, and I wonder if they'll let us plan any field trips because I found this really cool children's museum about an hour from here. I'm going to ask Esme today. And-"

"Alice, take a minute to breathe, please. I'd like to enjoy our last few quiet moments, with actual peace and quiet," Rose pointed out, making the rest of the van laugh.

"I'm just glad I get to work with some of the older ones. I wouldn't be able to handle the real little ones," Bella softly admitted out loud, shocking almost everyone when she joined the conversation. I suddenly felt as though more oxygen had been allowed into my lungs with that simple return of her voice engaging with the rest of our group in my presence. Even if it wasn't actually directed towards me, it was still something, and I would take it.

* * *

A panicked expression appeared on Bella's face as soon as the van crossed through the gates where a group of children were playing in an open field a few hundred feet away. We had been instructed to check in with Esme before doing anything else, so I followed the signs to the administration building then parked the van and scanned our surroundings further.

There were three single story buildings lined in a semicircle with murals covering the walls of children and animals playing almost manically in a colorful meadow. Large, over grown trees surrounded the vicinity, providing plenty of shade for another group of kids sitting in an organized circle with books in their hands. Two playgrounds were located between the pair of longer buildings but they were empty at the moment. All in all, it looked like a really nice place from the outside. I noticed right away that Bella was the last person to get out of the van. I glanced at her worried expression through the windshield and offered a slight smile when our eyes met for a split second. It didn't last long, but she hadn't sneered, and there was no middle finger thrown my way. I took that as another positive sign and smiled to myself before redirecting my stare towards the front of the building.

"You're here! And on time! Fantastic!" Esme greeted us from the doorway at the top of the steps, with her arms open, and a very genuine smile on her face.

We all returned her hello and made our way up the stairs where she invited us in with Jasper following closely behind, his camera propped in position over his shoulder.

"Alright come with me, I'll introduce you to the rest of the staff. For the first week you will all have a training counselor with you, to show you the ropes. Starting next Monday, though, you will be on your own so make sure you take notes and pay attention to all the house keeping things they will be telling you about over the next few days.

"Um, house keeping? Like laundry?" Rose asked with dread clearly underlined in her tone.

"No dear, not _actual_ house keeping, more like the way things are run around here. I promise you, there will be no actual cleaning of the house, clothing, or children while you are here." Esme replied with a warm smile and light laugh, then patted Rose on the shoulder. Our uptight housemate forced a smirk in response just as Alice asked our boss how long it would be before we were introduced to our groups.

"They get out of class in about fifteen minutes. I'll take you around to your rooms for introductions shortly."

"So they go to school here too?" Emmett boomed, louder than he had meant to in the quiet hallway.

"Yes, till the reach the sixth grade and then they are transferred to another facility where they will actually attend a public middle school and then the same for high school, once they've reached the ninth grade."

"Well that's kind of depressing, to get comfortable some place then be shipped off to someplace new," Rose mumbled more to herself than to anyone else. I immediately noticed Bella nervously shifting her weight back and forth in response to our housemates comment. I couldn't help but feel the overwhelming need to reach out and wrap my arms around her. If things were different I would have been squeezing her hand in mine right now, reassuring her that this was not her life in hopes of helping her relax.

"Oh, I wish I could keep them here forever, but we have things set up this way for a reason, and it truthfully works out well. Of course it is always my hope that they will all be adopted or returned to their families." Esme explained, while leading us into a large room at the end of the hallway.

"Well, here they are, everyone meet your new co-workers," Esme informed three women, and two men who were standing around in a kitchen with two large couches in the center.

"This is our employee lounge. Not that you guys will have much lounge time since you're only here four hours a day but this is where you can come to relax if you ever need a minute of quiet time."

I nodded my head in response and noticed right away the cute dark haired girl in the corner, who was already sending a smile my way.

"Irina, this is Edward and Bella, you will be helping them with the fourth graders this week."

"Hi, nice to meet you guys. I think you'll enjoy the fourth grade group. In my opinion, it's the best group here at the center," the dark haired girl replied after taking a step towards Bella and I to shake our hands.

_Nice, at least the good looking one will be with us. She could provide some good opportunities to make Bella a little… jealous. Help her realize I might not wait around forever._

"You would say that, Irina!" another girl mocked almost instantly. I glanced at the badge around her neck and learned her name was Carmen just before she pushed Irina playful with a light shove. Carmen would be working with James for the week so she went over to introduce herself to him while Alice and Emmett were introduced to Stefan, a tall, nerdy looking guy with wide rimmed glasses and a nervous smile.

"Tanya, this is Ben, he will be helping you with your second graders, and Rose you'll be working with Kate. All the groups here are equally fantastic, but I'm not going to sugar coat things. These kids require patience. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, you will use these radios to contact us here in the office and someone will be there to help within five minutes time. You'll find the color codes for emergencies on the back of your badges. Your training counselor will show you how to work the radios once you're settled with your groups," Esme explained. "Alright, lets get you to your kids then," she quickly handed us all our own lanyard with a photo I.D. I dropped mine around my neck after stealing one more glance at Bella who already looked deep in thought while she tried to process everything Esme had shared with us. "You, camera man," Esme started to say, pointing her finger at Jasper with his cowboy hat on his head and a smirk across his face.

"Jasper, ma'am."

"Jasper, I'll ask that you not record these introductions. Your producers are aware of that request, and also understand that you are to only spend twenty minutes at a time with one group for this first week. So you, my dear, will be doing a lot of floating. Here's a map of the grounds."

"Super," Jasper spoke up, with a hint of sarcasm escaping.

"We will start with Bella and Edward's group since they're first in this hallway, and then work our way down. Why don't the rest of you wait out here. It's not a very large space," Esme prompted, then extended her arm out, gesturing for Bella and I to enter the noisy room in front of us.

Once inside we were greeted by two groups of kids sitting on two separate sides of the room. It didn't take long to realize it was boys on the left and girls on the right. Esme instructed the kids to quiet down and waved her hand again, signaling for us to step up beside her.

"Matthew, sit down right this instant!" Esme yelled with a stern expression, after a boy stood up on his chair saluting us like a soldier. Bella gave me a worried look, but I shot her an impulsive wink, letting her know together we could handle this.

As soon as the room quieted, Esme cleared her throat. She placed her hand to mine and Bella's back, pushing us further forward next to her, "I'd like you all to meet your new counselors. This is Ms. Bella and Mr. Edward."

We were instantly greeted with a chorus of hello's. I smiled in response with a short wave then stuck my hands into my pockets, feeling my own nervousness rise as eleven sets of eyes stared back at us.

One girl with a wild pony tail at the top of her head instantly had her hand raised. Esme called on her by requesting that she stand up so we'd be able to hear her from across the room where she was sitting with the group of girls.

"Is that your real hair?" she asked Bella, popping her bubble gum at her lips after her sentence was complete.

"Yup, it is. This is what happens if you don't brush it," my roommate teased in return, and they all laughed together, causing Bella's smile to grow slightly before she asked the girl for her name.

"Bree. Bree Tanner, it's nice to meet you, Ms. Bella."

"It's nice to meet you too, Bree," my roommate replied, then smiled at the girl with the warmest expression I'd seen on her face in days.

The young girl nodded her head and was smirking at me now while she crossed her arms in front of her.

"And I know who _you_ are. You're Edward Masen Cullen, the _pro_-skateboarder. Chris at the skate park told me you were in town last week."

"You skate?" I asked, already impressed.

"I'm learning," she replied looking rather proud of herself. I smiled and nodded my head twice in approval just before Esme continued with the introductions around the room.

"Beside Bree there is Sarah, then going around the circle we have Nettie, Lucy, and last but not least, Maggie. Beside Mr. Matthew is Zane, not pronounced insane, which is what he had poor Irina here calling him for over a week before she learned his real name. Though, at times you will find yourself wondering if that should in fact be his true name," Esme explained jokingly, making the room laugh again.

"Next to Zane is Peter, then we have Johnny, or John Boy, and Liam. Over in the corner looking out the window, that's Randy. Randy likes his space so we try to respect that, as much as possible."

Bella and I offered another hello, and I saw her body move closer to me almost automatically when they all began shouting more questions in our direction.

"Calm down, you will have plenty of time to get to know Mr. Edward and Ms. Bella. Lets let them get settled in first. Ms. Irina will be here with you guys this week, so don't try to get away with anything. You all know the rules, and remember our talk. I mean it, no funny business or you will spend Friday with me in the office, instead of going on the field trip to the movies. The cameras won't be around much but when they are, you're to ignore them. Are we understood?"

"Yes. Mrs. Esme," they all called out in unison.

"Well then, I'll leave you to start your afternoon. I'm one button away on the radio. Have a nice day, you two will do great." Esme reassured us then pressed both of our shoulders with one of her hands before leaving us behind.

"Okay, so first you just do a quick head count and mark it on the clipboard with the time. You'll do that every hour on the hour, then we go outside to one of the play yards. Everyday you'll have a sheet on your clipboard to let you know your rotation around the grounds. You'll always have free time-slash-recess for the first forty five minutes though. You have to let them get all their energy out so they'll pay attention during the more organized centers."

"Centers?" Bella asked scratching at her head lightly.

"Yeah, like today we'll go to the art room after we've been outside, and then the computer room, and last the library for homework before they head back to their rooms to wash up for dinner. So, yeah, on the schedule here it says were on _Playground A_ which is actually the field and not a playground, so we need to grab the bag of balls in the storage house. They usually play kickball or dodge ball," Irina explained. "All eleven are here so we can go ahead and get them outside. They start to get rowdy if we stay in here too long," she explained with a smirk, then instructed the kids to get in line at the door. I was impressed by how quickly they quieted back down and got in place. They really seemed to respect my coworker, and there was something fairly sexy about that.

"How long have you worked here?" I asked, unable to hide my own smirk over her smile when her eyes looked up into mine. She really was cute, and I could already tell she was thinking the same about me. Bella instantly increased her speed to walk ahead of us, and my expression doubled over her obvious annoyance towards me talking to someone of the opposite sex, even if she was only a coworker… for now.

_She still cares, this is good Cullen._

"I started as an after school counselor three years ago, but now I mostly work in the office, unless someone calls in sick."

"That's a long time to stay at one job."

She shrugged in response then told me she was going to go grab the ball bag from the storage shed so she'd meet us out on the field in a few minutes. "Just have them pick teams, one has to be the referee unless you or Bella would like to play to even things up."

I shook my head agreeing to the mission and continued to walk with the kids in a straight line beside me, while Bella continued to walk a few feet ahead of me. My eyes, of course, were drawn to her gorgeous ass in her tight khaki shorts. Even all preppy, the girl was still fucking beautiful. Once we reached the field the kids gathered around us waiting for further instruction.

"Um, right, so choose teams. Bella, do you want to play?" I asked, speaking directly to her.

She looked up at me and narrowed her brow then shook her head, "Not right now."

_Words! To me! Bella just talked to me without there being a threat of castration attached to it!_

_Okay chill the hell out, Cullen._

_It was three words spoken with zero emotion. Nothing to write home about._

I quickly calmed myself down and crossed my arms in front of me to prevent them from flailing with pussified excitement. "Alright, someone needs to be the ref then," I spoke up after clearing my throat.

"I'll ref!" Bree yelped just as Irina returned with the equipment bag.

I watched on while the kids continued to choose their teammates, stealing glances at Bella every few seconds while she scanned the yard, and the rest of the grounds. She was thinking hard, taking it all in and trying to decide how it made her feel to be here.

Once the kickball game got started Irina gestured for Bella and I to join her at the picnic table, so we huddled and got a lesson on radio etiquette and the rest of the basics that helped run the program smoothly here.

"On the back of your badges you will find the color system we use on the radios in case of emergencies or when you might need back up." I turned my badge around in my hand and scanned the print.

_Code Red: Threat/Incident inside the facility - Lockdown._

_Code Yellow: Threat/activate SAFE team - Lockdown_

_Code Blue: Medical Emergency_

_Code Black: Bomb Threat_

_Code Orange: Evacuate_

_Code Green: All Clear_

_Code Brown: Threat/Incident Shelter-in-place._

_Code Purple: Back up_

"Alright got it," I replied after scanning the list and listening to Irina explain each code.

"Good, well then do you have any questions?" Our training counselor asked sweetly, looking only at me.

"Um, are these codes used very often?" Bella questioned, just above a whisper. I could tell she was feeling more than uneasy over the idea of a Code Black, or Codes Red and Yellow.

"Nah, not _often_, maybe once a week," Irina teased then bumped Bella's shoulder playfully. My roommate forced a smile then pushed herself away from the bench to walk towards a tree where Bree was sitting alone shouting out calls on the game.

"Is she always this quiet?" Irina observed while we watched Bella walk away.

"_No_. She's had a rough couple of days adjusting, but she's coming around," I spoke up, doing my best to sound sincere. That was all Irina needed to know. There was no reason to air out all our dirty laundry on the first day.

* * *

We'd successfully made it through the art center, and the computer room without many hiccups but Bella had also done a fairly phenomenal job at keeping herself away from me throughout most of the day, too.

It probably didn't help that at any chance Irina was talking my ear off, asking me questions about myself, and what goes on in the Real Life house.

For a girl who was supposed to be used to sharing, though, Bella was obviously lacking the same kind of stamina when it came to me and my own affairs. Which personally, I took as another very good sign. A frustrating sign… but a good sign none the less.

After about twenty minutes I'd finally managed to quiet the boys down with their homework, so I made my way over to the other side of the room where Bella was sitting with a few of the girls in our group, working on a math worksheet. I took a seat across from her and folded my hands neatly at the top of the table while I listened in on their discussion.

I was going to start to push some. It needed to be done, and she seemed to be ready, so this was me pushing. Sitting beside her at a table, eaves dropping on a conversation I wasn't invited to join.

"Ms. Bella, how old are you?" Bree asked my roommate from where she sat with her chin resting at the top of her opened palm, propping herself up while her pencil bounced up and down at the top of her worksheet.

"Old enough," Bella teased with a smirk. "How old are you?" she asked in return, smiling at the girl while she mirrored her position from the other side of the table.

"I'm almost eleven. I'm supposed to be in the fifth grade, but they held me back in first grade because I couldn't read. I can read now though."

"What do you like to read?" Bella questioned, still smiling.

"Well, I said I _could_ read, not that I _liked _to read," Bree pointed out with a small laugh. "Where do you live? I mean when you're not here being taped for a television show."

"I'm from Oregon, he's from California, and or Hawaii, depending on what day you ask him," Bella answered for the both of us, surprising me. She was actually acknowledging my existence.

This was good.

"So you guys haven't known each other long?" Lucy asked.

"Nope, going on three weeks," I answered, this time joining the conversation.

"Huh, that surprises me."

"Why's that?" Bella asked Bree, biting her bottom lip over the little girl's random statement.

"I don't know, it just does. Anyways, I'm going to go see if Nettie will walk me to go pee. It's okay if I go use the bathroom, right?"

"Yeah sure, as long as you take a buddy like Ms. Irina said," Bella answered. Bree smiled and shook her head in response, then removed herself from the seat across from us. She gave me a quick, suspicious wink and ran over to the other side of the room, leaving Bella and I alone for the first time today when Lucy followed after her.

"She seems like a good kid."

"Yup," Bella replied with one swift breath then let out a long sigh, "They all seem like good kids. It's fucked up they're here," she added before standing up to walk around the room again, successfully leaving me behind.

I watched her go, feeling a slight smile spread across my face over the realization that she'd actually spoken to me again.

"So what's the story with you two?" Irina suddenly asked, filling Bella's empty seat as soon as she was gone.

"What do you mean?" I was going to play dumb and hope she'd drop it. I didn't like it when people pried. Especially people I hardly knew. No matter how cute they were.

"There's obviously a story. I've watched you two all day. She barely talks to you, but she always seems to be in tune to where you are, and the same goes for you, only you make it obvious that you're watching her. It's all been fairly entertaining actually. Like watching two magnets refusing to join together. You guys are going to have to get along to do this, though, I hope you know that. It takes team work to rein these guys in some days. Today was the honeymoon. They're testing you out, seeing what they can get away with and how strict you're going to be with them. Just a warning. You'll need to be on your A-game next week when you're flying solo."

"Ha, well thanks for the warning. This isn't the first time I've been in charge of a group of kids. I worked at Camp Woodward for a few summers, teaching kids how to skateboard."

"Right, Edward Masen Cullen, the pro skateboarder. Bree wouldn't stop talking about you last week when she found out you were coming here. I actually think Esme assigned you to this group just to make that little girl's year."

I smiled over the news that I already had a mini fan here, and shrugged my shoulders. "Bella and I will be fine. We had a fight a few days ago, but she's getting over it," I assured our coworker while avoiding her eyes. Vic used to always say my eyes were my biggest give away when I tried to stretch the truth.

"Hm, I see. Well, I really hope it doesn't get in the way of your work. These kids… they will pick up on any kind of hostility you may give out. For some of them it's all they know, and when they sense it they will totally shut down on you."

"Thanks for the advice."

"Don't mention it. Well, it's six so you guys are free to go. I take them back to the bunk house to wash up for dinner. One of my responsibilities. Nice first day though. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright, thanks for all your help. See you tomorrow, Irina." She shot me a wink, and I smiled in return then stood up and made my way towards Bella. She'd taken a seat with the girls again who were examining her hair and giggling together while they watched me walk towards them.

"Were your parents mad when you did this to your hair?" Lucy asked, running her hand down one of Bella's dreads.

"No, they never saw it like this," she explained rather calmly.

"You just got it done then, for the show?" Bree questioned with a raise of her brow, examining a single lock of Bella's hair in her own hand.

"No, they died before they got to see it. I didn't see them often when I was growing up. So they missed out on a lot of my crazy hair styles."

"My parents died," Lucy replied almost silently, her voice hollowed of emotion.

"And mine too, and Maggie's. Nettie and Sarah, they were given up, left outside a fire station when they were two," Bree shared, sounding completely at ease with the conversation. Bella nodded her head and forced a smile. I could tell this news was breaking her heart though.

"You all seem to have found your own family here," she pointed out, making all the girls smile bashfully.

"Most days," Bree laughed, and all the girls joined her almost instantly. It really was something to watch Bella between all of them. It was only the first day, but she already seemed to have made amazing connections with some of them. Most of them actually. Especially the girls.

"So, Mr. Edward do you have a girlfriend?" Maggie asked, her cheeks already red before her question was even all the way out of her mouth.

I was a bit flustered at first over the change of topic but eventually laughed and shook my head, "No, I don't. But I'm too old for you. So don't get any ideas," I teased openly, seeing a small smirk appear behind Bella's otherwise blank expression.

"Single, ehhhh?" three of the girls chimed together, and I rolled my eyes sarcastically before extending my hand out to help Bella up from her seat at the table. "It's quitting time, _Rock Star_. Irina takes it from here. Ready to head to the van?"

She narrowed her brow, no doubt in response to my usage of her nickname. I was just about to retract the offer to help her up when her hand shot out from her side to rest itself within my palm, grasping it lightly. I gave a light tug, assisting her up onto her feet, and decided to continue with my grasp for a few seconds longer after noticing a slight smile return to her lips.

"Thanks," she mumbled, avoiding my eyes, then turned to say goodbye to the girls.

"See you all tomorrow. Thanks for giving us an easy_ first_ day," Bella told them with a wink. They all called out their goodbyes and we shouted a farewell to the boys at the other side of the room, then threw Irina one last wave.

It was silent in the hallway, aside from our sneakers squeaking on the freshly mopped floor. If Bella wasn't ready to talk when we were really alone, I wouldn't make her.

I didn't want to press my luck, she'd said a few words to me today while we were working. I would be happy with that much. At least by now she had to realize we were still capable of being civil to one another. Especially after a successful day of work. That had to mean something.

_Wow, Cullen, you managed to get through four whole hours without her attempting to scratch your eyeballs out._

_Way-to-fucking-go. Have a cookie._

When we got to Esme's office, we found everyone standing around talking about their day. Some were looking a bit more frazzled than others. Rose being at the top of the _Beyond Stressed List._

"Thank God. Can we go now? I need to go soak in the hot tube and have a nice chilled martini. Those children are monsters," she informed us with a grunt. I laughed and shrugged before telling them our day had gone pretty smoothly, aside from Zane's bloody nose on the kickball field.

"Did you enjoy your group, Bella?" Alice asked grinning at my roommate while she tied her hair up in a pony tail.

"Yeah I did. They're pretty great actually. A lot of fun."

"And you didn't kill Edward, that's awesome news!" Tanya added, winning her several dirty looks from the rest of our group while Bella laughed sarcastically.

"Alright then, you've all survived your first day. Great job! Any questions about anything?" Esme asked with Jasper standing behind her shoulder. I'd been surprised that we'd only had Jazz as our tag along for about fifteen minutes throughout the entire day. A part of me wondered if that was by chance or on purpose.

"Um, actually, I really don't think I'm going to be comfortable with my group. All alone, I mean. Will it be a problem for Kate to stay on with me if I should need her to?" Rose requested, trying her best to smile.

"We'll see how you're doing at the end of the week, Rosalie. Anyone else?" Esme asked looking around at all our faces.

When no one spoke up she clasped her hands together in front of her, grinning happily, "Splendid, then, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice evening, and thanks for all your help." We quickly wished her a good night and made our way down the driveway towards the parking lot. Bella didn't call shot gun this time, so James didn't offer me the keys. I sat with Alice and bobbed my head two times after giving her a quick wink, silently letting her know that things really had gone alright today.

"One day at a time," my housemate quietly reminded me, then squeezed my knee with her hand affectionately.

I shook my head and slouched down in the seat. I was already feeling anxious to get home. All I needed was my board. I had to skate out my frustrations. I knew better than to think I could go to the bar and find a one-night-stand to help take my mind off things.

I'd definitely learned my lesson, and I wouldn't make that mistake again.

* * *

**~~*Bella*~~**

When we got back to the house I immediately made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a drink before heading into the computer room. I'd done enough listening in the car. I couldn't take another second of Rose and Tanya griping about how awful their day had been. Snotty noses, one pee accident on the playground, and a fight between two '_barbaric boys_' had definitely sent them into drama-mode. So I was beyond over listening to their ridiculous complaints.

With my vodka and cranberry in one hand and an unlit Marlboro Light cigarette in the other, I slowly took a seat in front of the computer screen and logged into my account desperately hoping one of my buddies would be online to help calm me down. I was also considering calling up Aro to see if he wanted to play some music, and maybe share a funny cigarette or two, but truthfully, I was feeling exhausted, and ready for bed.

Today had been difficult, but I was fairly sure I'd done a decent job at hiding that small fact from the rest of the house. Including Edward.

We really did have an amazing group. According to everyone else's stories, Edward and I had lucked out tremendously, and Irina had been right about fourth grade being the best at the center.

_Ugh… Irina_. Another set of boobs with a pretty smile looking to slide up and down on Edward's cock.

_Fantastic. _

I couldn't blame the girl, but it still annoyed me more than I cared for. I was determined to make sure things would be different this time. I wouldn't let Edward's flirting get to me. He was free to do what he wanted because I'd made the conscious decision that he'd only be used for drunken hook ups during the remainder of our stay here in this house.

Nothing more, and hopefully nothing less.

I scanned the list of names that were signed onto Skype and let out a quiet huff after seeing the only name that even remotely mattered. It, of course, had to belong to the one person back home who was still slightly annoyed with me himself.

_-Ping-_

I was surprised when he actually initiated a conversation.

**JakeBlack:** Hey Bells.

**DreadilocksB:** Hey how's it going? Long time no talk.

**JakeBlack:** Yah… sorry about our last talk. I'm sure that has a lot to do with you not being on much lately.

**DreadilocksB:** Nah, I've just been busy. Whenever I've been on you haven't been around. I talked to Paul the other day, though. He told me Emily's coming when you guys head out this way. I'm sooooooooo excited, can't hardly wait. For-Seriously.

_I was being sarcastic, but Jake would pick up on that._

**JakeBlack:** Yeah, she didn't leave Sam much of a choice. It was either bring the ball and chain, or she was going to literally chain him to their space heater.

**DreadilocksB**: lol, well at least she's setting those boundaries. The man needed to be reined in, apparently. I hope he knows what he's doing marrying that lunatic.

**JakeBlack:** Be nice. She's not so bad. You think she hates you a lot more than she actually does.

**DreadilocksB:** So you admit it then, she does hate me, at least a little!

_I could almost hear him laughing and that made me smile._

**JakeBlack:** Oh stop! What do you expect? She walked up on you guys making out in his car!

**DreadilocksB**: They weren't even dating yet! What was she doing creeping up to his car at two in the morning anyways? She's lucky that's all she _thinks_ she saw.

**JakeBlack:** Huh, funny, that's what Paul said.

_I knew we were both laughing now, because Paul was always right and he always knew what was up._

**JakeBlack:** How are things? You're still doing okay? Still mixing work with pleasure?

_He was referring to Edward._

**DreadilocksB**: No. That's been placed on hold.

**JakeBlack:** Uh-oh, what happened?

**DreadilocksB:** He over stepped, so now he's in time-out. Today was the first day I've talked to him in almost a week, and that was only because we had to work together.

**JakeBlack:** You worked today? How'd that go? Sam said you were working at a foster house or something.

**DreadilocksB:** It went well. We've got a good group of kids. We totally lucked out. They all remind me of myself of course, so that sucks, but other than that, I think it's going to be a fun job.

_Jake started to type something but then his pencil stopped. I waited for a response, wondering what would come next, since he was obviously considering his words carefully._

**JakeBlack:** Hey, you wanna video chat? It's been awhile. I miss your smug face.

I thought his question over for a moment then used my foot to kick the door to the computer room shut so we'd have more privacy. James, Alice, and Emmett were all out in the living room playing a game of Uno on the coffee table. I knew my conversation would be too much for their nosey ears to ignore.

I didn't reply via text, instead I clicked on the _Video call button_ and sat back in my chair while tying a bow with my dreads in front of my shoulder.

His smile made me grin almost instantly.

"Hey you."

"Hey yourself," he replied, his shoulders relaxing a little after seeing my own smile on his computer screen. "You look good."

I smirked and shook my head bashfully, then pulled the zipper of my hoodie upward with a soft tug.

"So what happened with the skater dude?"

"He punched this other guy I've been seeing. He thought he'd done something to me, he hadn't but Edward still hit him anyways, so I'm pissed," I explained looking down at the keyboard in front of me. I realized how ridiculous I sounded, but I was still mad, and I knew better than to think I could hide that from Jake.

"I see the problem. He broke a rule."

"Yu-P. A very important rule." I replied, popping my p playfully. He shook his head with a grin and took in a deep breath before leaning forward closer to his webcam.

"Bells, I'm sure he was just trying to look out for you."

"You guys would never _ever_ over step like that."

"That's because that would never _ever_ happen here. People in this town know better than to mess with our girl. But trust me, if we thought someone had wronged you, we would have their ass. I can promise you that." He smiled finishing his sentence then ran his hand through his hair while his eyes studied me further, "You must be off your game, Bella. What made him think this other guy deserved to be roughed up? It's not like you to lead one guy down a road like that," Jake questioned, scratching his head with his eyes narrowing in my direction now.

"It's complicated."

"I'll do my best to follow," he assured me then insisted I do my best to explain the situation.

"To make a long story short," I began, then paused to take a sip from my glass, hoping it would help me find the right words. I didn't want to hurt Jake in the process of explaining how close I had come to actually falling for someone during my short time here, when he'd been trying harder than anyone to win my heart for years.

"Edward and I had a talk. I'd shared a lot about me… my life back home. What it was like growing up. You know, all the fun stuff you would see in a bad Lifetime movie. I hadn't meant to tell him so much…"

"Oh, I'm sure you didn't," Jake interrupted, doing his best to hide his all knowing smirk. I shushed him with my glare then held my finger to my lips signaling he needed to keep quiet if he wanted to hear the rest of my story.

"Anyways, that night a group of us had gone over to my other friend's house, which was where I'd spilt my guts to Edward. Shortly after, he took off, telling me he was heading home. I stayed back to spend some time with Aro after he got off work."

"Aro is the other guy? Your other friend. You were at his place waiting for him to get off work when you had this talk with Edward your roommate?"

"Right, Aro equals the other guy. My friend who Edward attacked. We were at his house, on the beach. Good keeping up, Black. Remind me to reward you with a sticker later," I mocked with a roll of my eyes. "So, some background information, Aro owns the bar we usually hang out at, that's where I met him, and we've been playing some music together. He reminds me of you guys back home, I think that's why I like him. He's just easy to be next to… if that makes sense?"

"You like him because you can hook up with him without feeling anything in return, gotcha."

"Ding-ding-ding! Gold star sticker number two, keep it up Jake honey. You're on your way to becoming the teacher's pet. Now back to my story. Aro came home and we talked, I told him about Edward, that I was also seeing him, or whatever you want to call it. Up till then I hadn't been totally upfront. Thankfully, Aro already knew about me and my roommate so it wasn't a big deal."

"Of course he did, and of course it wasn't a big deal."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, already feeling a little agitated.

"Guys can pick up on that kind of stuff. Trust, Bella. And no guy would ever turn down string less fun, which you are a pro at." Jake insisted with a wink that made me laugh sarcastically.

"Okay, if you say so. Anyways, Aro was fine with everything just so long as he still got his time with me. So I gave him some time with me. When I got back to the house Edward still wasn't home."

"I see, and this bothered you?"

"Yes. Slightly. He'd left Aro's bar with the town whore, so I assume he was getting his dick waxed by her, somewhere downtown." I spat, with a little too much disgust escaping me.

"Let me guess, Aro shared that bit of information with you?" Jake asked rocking himself in his computer chair with his arms crossed in front of him, and a smug expression on his face.

I eyed him and slowly nodded my head, letting him know his guess had been surprisingly accurate.

"Bella, come on, are you serious?" Jake laughed, shaking his head back and forth.

"What?"

"The fact that you don't see it, is insane to me. Your usually the best at reading guys like your friend Aro. This Edward guy must really be messing with your head if you're not seeing it."

"Shut it. There's more to my story," I snapped at him, crossing my arms in front of me with a pout.

"Okay, go on. I'm listening."

"So I came home from Aro's, after spending some time in his bedroom, alone, and Edward still wasn't back. Um, let me back up again. That night, I'd also sung on stage, with Aro's band backing me up. It made me think of home, and you guys. Which is part of the reason why I felt the need to open up to Edward I think. I was feeling all homesick, and then on top of that, after getting back to the house, I felt betrayed by the one person I had let in the most," I rapidly explained. "I went to bed, and I cried. Like really cried. Harder than I can remember ever crying before. I didn't think this would be so hard, Jake. But apparently I was wrong. I wasn't ready, and now I seriously can't wait for you guys to get your asses here. I don't even know what I was thinking. Why did you guys let me sign up for this?"

"Bella, Jesus. Baby, you can't think that way. I'm proud of you for finding the courage to leave everything you know behind. And for being able to let someone in, especially in such a short amount of time. You need to trust that you did that for a reason. I know you. Better than you know yourself. If you were able to talk to this guy about all the messiness in your life, then that should mean something to you. He sounds like an okay person. As much as it pains me to say this, I think he deserves a second chance. I think you at least need to hear his side of the story."

"Really?" I asked, feeling absolutely shocked by Jake's words.

"I do. He probably had no idea you were upset about something he'd done. Guys don't think like that. His first conclusion when he saw you crying was that the guy he'd left you with had hurt you. He did something about that. It shows he cares about you. Eventually, Bella, you're going to have to give some of your rules up. Otherwise you're going to end up living a very lonely life," Jake shared with a broken expression. He was being absolutely honest with me, even if it was tearing him apart.

"Thanks, Jake." I didn't know what else to say. I was shocked. This was totally unlike him, but at the same time exactly what I would expect from him. He was being Jake. My best friend. The one person I needed now, more than ever.

"That's what I'm here for, Bells. Just glad you're speaking to me- like I'm a normal person again. Feels good."

"You knew I would eventually."

"Yeah, its still nice though. I've missed more than just your face."

I smiled and shook my head, "Well it smells like dinner's almost ready so I better get back out there."

"Dinner huh? How's all that going?" Jake pushed, swiftly ruining our moment.

"It's going. Don't take any steps backwards now, Black. You've made lots of progress this evening," I warned.

"Point taken. Till next time then. Take care, Bella. It really was nice to see your smile again."

"Yours too, Jake." I answered, then blew him a quick kiss and signed off the call before exiting my account completely.

I would take Jake's words to heart. I knew he was right. What I didn't know was if I'd be ready for what it all meant.

* * *

**~~*Edward*~~**

I'd woken up early the next morning to the sound of Bella talking in her sleep again. She was mumbling something about finding things her way, and trusting something, but other than that her rambles made no sense whatsoever. I tugged at my hair watching her toss and turn, feeling thankful that Tanya was already absent from the room so I could steal these glances. After letting out a frustrated grunt. I grabbed my skateboard from the dresser and made my way downstairs.

I was ready to start another day of bullshit.

"I'm going to go skate till lunch. If you need me you know where I'll be," I informed my housemates who were all sitting around the table already eating breakfast. Minus Bella, as per usual.

"Alright, don't lose track of the time, were heading out at one-thirty, on the dot." Alice instructed me with a motherly wink. I smiled in return, then grabbed a bottle of water and a pop-tart from the counter before making my way out of the house.

It was a short ride to the school, on my board I could get there in five minutes flat, but I still missed the walk Bella and I would share when we came out here together.

I missed everything Bella and I had learned to share over the last few weeks and that feeling alone still scared the shit out of me sometimes. Especially now that she wasn't talking to me.

I'd only ever experienced these kinds of feelings one other time in my life.

The last time I felt like this, I'd flown off the fucking half pipe on national television, and almost broken my back.

That minor accident sent me to the hospital, and then rehab for months last year. I knew exactly how long it had been since I'd felt this way, and I remembered all too well the person who had caused it all.

Thinking about that though, right now, was not wise. I needed to focus when I was on my board, and revisiting the memories of being stuck in a hospital after having my heart ripped from my chest, for the first and only time in my life… it was not a wise thing to do.

About an hour had passed, and I'd just sat down to take a break on the ledge of the empty pool with my bottle of water when a wave of electricity suddenly rolled over me. I was no longer alone. Quickly, I turned my head and did a double take. I squinted, due to the sunlight that was glaring behind the figure of a person still standing a few feet away.

It was Bella, but unfortunately she wasn't alone. Jasper was trailing behind with his camera already watching us. I was on my feet facing her within seconds, craving to look into those broken brown eyes of hers that I had missed so much over these last few days.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she requested quietly, her arms wrapping themselves around the trunk of her body tightly.

I kept a straight face while my brain did its best to piece together a verbal response, "Yeah, of-of c-course," I stuttered feeling like a total schmuck.

_Smooth Cullen, really smooth._

I needed to treat the situation carefully, but I was still stunned to see her standing in front of me.

She didn't sit down, so I stayed standing myself waited for her to say something. I'd let her direct this conversation because I knew that's what she wanted, and I wasn't about to push her further than she was ready to go on her own.

"Okay, so… I'm willing to put everything behind us now, as long as you'll promise to never, not ever, do anything like that again. That was your one strike. I don't give more than one do-over, Edward. As a matter of fact, this is only the second time in my life that I've agreed to do such a thing. Do it again, and I swear to God, your existence will be removed from my memory forever," she warned, looking up into my eyes for the first time in at least four days without seemingly wanting to kill me.

"Okay. I promise. From now on, you're your own keeper."

"Which is how it will _always_ be," she replied bluntly. "That being said, I'm sorry that I yelled at you the way I did, but I was angry. And for good reason. I really hope you realize that," she added, still looking me dead in the eyes.

"I do. I was just worried about you. I thought he'd hurt you," I tried to explain. I was feeling more than shocked now over her very sudden turn around. I wouldn't question it though. This was who she was. I knew that, and I'd already made up my mind that I would accept it.

If there was one thing I'd learned about Bella, it was that logic did not arrive naturally.

"I don't need you to worry about me. I worry about me enough. Okay?"

I shook my head again and felt my entire body relax once the realization began to settle that she was finally giving me another chance.

She was finally letting me back in again.

"Alright then, keep skating, and I'm going to go sit on _my_ bench and play on Jane for a bit," she instructed me before giving my arm a playful jab. Without even realizing my limbs were moving, I quickly grabbed her arm with my hand and pulled her in up against me, holding her firmly against my body.

"I really am sorry. For all of it." I whispered at the top of her head while my own arms continued to hold her close. I could feel her take in a deep breath just before she wrapped her arms around me in return.

"I know," she finally whispered before wriggling herself free from my grasp. After picking up Jane's case, she made her way towards her special spot and took a seat with her legs criss-crossed in front of her.

I felt a smile creep across my face. Everything was going to be okay. This was progress. Progress was good.

After jumping back on my board, I dropped in on the cement pool and had my best run all week. With Bella playing in the background I was able to let myself go, and I was even able to land a few tricks that I hadn't done since my accident last year. I was feeling more than good after jumping off my board and landing on my feet at the top of the pool's ledge. I glanced in her direction and saw her smiling at me. We were good, and I knew Bella wouldn't hold a grudge. She didn't really seem the type. At least not with me. The fact that she'd come to me, offering a truce and even apologized for her own lost temper- that spoke volumes.

She wanted things to be good again. She missed me just as much as I was missing her, otherwise she wouldn't have come here.

I rode my board towards her then took a seat on the bench leaving a few inches between us, still not sure as to how far she wanted our returned friendship to go. I quietly shared that her guitar playing had just assisted me in landing the same trick that had taken me out last year, for the first time since my accident. I knew that bit of news would bring a smile to her face.

"It was a pretty impressive trick, M&M," she admitted with a smirk then slowly returned her attention to the strings of her guitar.

I knew she'd been watching and it felt fucking good to have her back.

* * *

**A/N: And I spared you a cliffy. I didn't think your hearts could handle one after seeing all the BD pictures that were leaked today. :P**

**Big thanks to my phenomenal beta clarabella75. If you're not reading her fic 'Home' you are seriously missing out. (*whispers* You can get to her profile page from my profile page.) I totally encourage you to check it out!**

**Again, so sorry this chapter took as long as it did. Like I said I suck... but don't forget to check out the outtake over on the blog. **

***Make me smile, please review. You'll get more of Bella's back story in return for sharing your thoughts and theories with me. I'm having way too much fun writing it and now I don't want to stop. *wink***


	13. Ignoring A Good Thing

**********Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: Fingers crossed this chapter goes up without any problems coming from that which is satan... I mean FFn. I tried really hard to keep this chapter short... but once again, I failed miserably. I dunno... I just have this issue with making you guys wait for updates... I always feel like I need to make it up to you by giving you these long ass chapters, lol, *shrug* Anyways, I hope you enjoy the fluff. **

* * *

**Ignoring A Good Thing**

**Chapter 13**

**~~*Bella*~~**

I could hardly believe it was already Friday.

_The_ Friday.

The one I'd been trying my best to forget about for the last twenty-six weeks of my life. I was ignoring all of that though. Ignoring it, locking it away, and looking for any and _all_ distractions today.

After walking into the kitchen I was surprised to find everyone sitting at the dinning room table eating breakfast together. I quickly realized how out of character it was for me to be up and downstairs this early in the morning.

_And now you get to suffer the consequences._

I was downstairs smack dab in the middle of house breakfast time. All because I could no longer trust my subconscious dreaming.

"Hungry, Bella?" Rose cooed, with a raise of her catty brow.

"Yeah, sure, I'll eat something," I took my usual seat between Alice and Edward then poured myself a glass of orange juice. "Morning," I mumbled, avoiding all sets of eyes from behind my sunglasses.

I was feeling a bit hung-over today. Last night we'd all finished off a brand new bottle of rum while playing another enlightening game of 'Well I Never'. The last thing I remembered was walking out to the porch with James, laying down on the bench swing with my head resting on his shoulder and him hummed show tunes while I guessed what they were from.

Next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed, in nothing but my underwear, and a splitting headache.

"Did you sleep well?" Alice asked just above a whisper. Once I'd turned to look at her I noticed she was passing me the waffles.

I grimaced at the sight of them but put one on my plate then reached for the _I Can't Believe It's Not Butter_ from across the table, "Yup, drunken-stupor-slumber. My favorite kind of rest," I joked, answering Alice's question and making Emmett chuckle.

"You were passed the fuck out Bella. Edward had to carry you up the stairs. He didn't trust me to do it."

"You were just as drunk, dumb ass. There's no doubt you both would have ended up at the bottom of the steps," Rose snickered then elbowed her roommate with a smirk running across her painted lips.

I laughed quietly and began smearing a small amount of fake butter over my waffle before cutting it up into tiny pieces on my plate. "Well then, thanks for getting me up the stairs safely, Edward."

"Anytime, _Rock Star_. After the show you gave us last night, it was the least I could do," he toyed. I instantly glanced up at him with shock on my face.

What the hell was he talking about?

_What. Did. You. Do?_

He shot me a careless wink and I felt my cheeks flush in response while I desperately tried to remember last night in its entirety.

"Wha-what show?" I seriously didn't remember there being _any_ show.

_Christ, This can't be good. You need to do better about monitoring your alcohol intake Swan. Black outs are never good. Black outs always get you into trouble._

While the battle continued to rage on in my head my housemates laughed nervously together, and swiftly redirected their eyes to their plates. The icing on the cake came when the group of them stuffed their faces at the same exact moment in order to prevent them from opening their mouths to answer my question.

"Stop it! What did I do? Tell me! I'm going to have to see it on the damn TV! I deserve some kind of warning." Truthfully though, I hadn't decided on whether or not I would actually sit through the episodes once they started to air on television. Part of me was scared to death to witness it all as a spectator.

After a few seconds of excruciating silence James finally cleared his throat, "Let's just say you sang… no wait, you _rapped_ your heart out while using the pole outside on the back patio."

"Shut up in your face! Are you serious? Why the hell didn't you stop me?" I asked Edward, throwing him my best glare before I stuck a small piece of waffle into my mouth to quickly swallow it down.

"Hey! I tried! You weren't having it. You can be a mean drunk, Swan!" he teased back with a smile escaping across his lips.

Gah! That smile. I couldn't help it, once again I secretly wanted to touch that smile with my own lips but I knew better than to randomly rape his face at the breakfast table.

_And you're keeping your lips away from his lips! Jebus-Christo, focus woman!_

The table laughed again and I felt my face turn a darker shade of red in response. Slowly, while munching on my tiny waffle pieces, more and more from last night started to come back to me. I made a mental note to later pull Jasper aside in hopes of bribing him to accidentally erase any, and all footage he may have obtained during last nights shenanigans.

_Did you just say shenanigans? Who. Are. You?_

I quickly stuffed three last bites into my mouth then stood up from the table to clear my plate into the trash.

"Done already?" Rose called after me. Her observation instantly caused a grimace to replace my otherwise blank expression. I had a feeling people were starting to catch on to my irregular eating habits. I knew it was only a matter of time, but I still wasn't ready to talk about it with them, so I ignored her question and made my way back up the stairs to grab Jane. I was craving some alone time; sitting on the ledge outside our window sounded perfect to me at the moment. I was so close to finishing the newest song Aro and I had started to write that I was seriously twitching to place my fingers over my guitar strings this morning.

* * *

I had just lit a cigarette with Jane in my lap when Edward's head appeared outside the window a few feet from where I was sitting with my legs dangling over the edge, kicking at the air back and forth in front of me.

"Want some company?" he offered, with his smile. That smile. The one I wanted to kiss off his face.

_What a jerk face._

"It's a free roof," I replied, hiding my own grin, then redirected my attention to the metal strings of my guitar.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hm… definitely thankful that were going to get to sit in a dark quiet movie theater most of the day at work," I joked, successfully creating yet another smirk on his pretty face.

_Stop making his mouth move like that, woman! Your ACCP's can't handle this kind of shit so early in the morning._

"I bet your thankful. I never would have pictured you to be a rapper, but I have to say, I was pretty damn impressed last night. Lil'Wayne would have been proud," he teased further, forcing me to throw a fresh jab to his shoulder.

"Shut it!"

"Just saying," he was doing his best to hide his grin this time, but I could _still _see it sneaking through so my lady parts were _still _of course twitching in response.

I rolled my eyes and quickly hushed him again, then bumped into the side of his shoulder before taking another drag from my cigarette.

"So are you coming out with us tonight?" I asked, changing the subject. Even though I knew the subject would be slightly uncomfortable for him. We were talking again, and things were definitely getting better, but I needed to know if our progress would continue once we were all at Volturi's later this evening. I hadn't seen Aro all week, so I knew he would be looking for some one-on-one time. Because of that I needed to know Edward _could_ and _would_ behave.

His answer was almost instant, "Yeah, if you're okay with me being there, and if Aro doesn't have an issue with me being in his bar, I was going to go."

He'd obviously been prepared for the question.

"As long as you play nice, I have no problem with you coming out with us, Edward. And I doubt Aro will care."

He nodded his head in response and tapped my foot with his while our legs continued to swing back and forth in front of us, "I'll be good, boy scouts honor," he replied, grinning even wider over one of our inside jokes making a comeback. I laughed and gave him a playful shove. "Careful, if I fall off the roof you know they'll all think you pushed me on purpose," he teased after reaching out to grab my fist. With my hand in his, he casually began massaging my palm with his finger tips.

His stare and touch sent goose bumps across my body.

I hated him for it.

No, _hate _was too strong a word… it just really pissed me off that a simple touch from him could bring back so many dangerous feelings. "So you wanna sit by me in the movie this afternoon?" he softly asked, randomly changing the subject again.

"Sure, but Ms. Irina may already have plans to share some popcorn with you," I replied with a simple shrug of my shoulders. I was doing my best to sound bored with the conversation because that always seemed to get to him, and for whatever reason, I loved getting under his skin.

"Right, right. This is true. She does seem quite needy in the attention department. Guess we'll just have to see how it goes then."

He said nothing else, so I returned to my strumming on Jane, replaying over and over again the chords to the newest song that had been haunting me for the last week.

After a while I realized that a good amount of time had past without an interruption coming from my roommate. I slowly peeked through one partially opened eye and found Edward now leaning against the side of the house, beside our opened window, his eyes still watching me, and his smile still raised.

"What?" I asked frowning, "Is there something in my hair?"

"No," he laughed, shaking his head. I watched him shift his weight nervously from where he sat and distracted myself from his stare by flicking my cigarette butt off the roof towards the ground below. I felt my heart flutter over the sight of his hair when it moved with the gust of wind that had just blown by us, sending a shiver down my body, and fresh tingle to my lower region. "This week was good. I mean, I think it was good. I'm glad things are good again. I don't know, it just feels- really _good_."

"Edward you're killing the usage of the word 'good'. You poor boy, I really think I may have to buy you that thesaurus for your birthday,"

He smiled again and shook his head, "There's something that's been bothering me, Bella. I think enough time has passed that we should be able to talk about it now."

"Uh-oh."

_Please don't ruin this moment. Too much progress has been made. Don't go and piss all over it now, Cullen_.

"It's nothing major, I just want to know what made you decide I deserved another chance? I mean, I'm not complaining, it was just so sudden. I guess I want to know what I did right so I can do it again if I should ever piss you off a second time," he joked, but with a serious expression on his face.

"Funny," I mocked, wishing he wasn't putting me on the spot like this. I'd already warned him that this was his _only_ second chance. There wouldn't ever be any others.

"Seriously though? What was it? We haven't talked about it, I think we should talk about it. Do I need to remind you that talking is important?"

"Hm. Do I need to remind _you_ that talking is only important when you're in a relationship? Which we are not in," I bluntly replied, trying my best to hide my unease.

"Right, _but_ communication is also key in a friendship, which we do have," he lightly argued, crossing his arms in front of him. He had me. I did owe him more of an explanation. Jake deserved the credit. I wanted Edward to like Jake when he met him. It was important to me that they got along. Especially because I knew eventually I would have to tell him about all the ugly that came along with mine and Jake's own twisted history. He needed to learn about the good first.

"I talked to one of my buddies back home. I mean, I wouldn't have stayed mad forever, but he helped me see that I maybe wasn't being entirely fair to you," I explained softly, avoiding his eyes. "And that Aro may not have been as innocent in all of it as I'd originally thought."

"Which buddy was it? I'd like to say thank you when I meet him in a few weeks."

"It was Jake."

Edward nodded his head, storing the name in his memory then cleared his throat nervously. I eyed him, already feeling nervous myself. He was right, it had been a good week. I really didn't want him to ruin it now by saying something stupid.

_Please, for the love of God, don't say something stupid. Just sit and look pretty. That's all I need from you right now, Mr. Magic Mouth._

"Bella, its important to me, that you know something. Please, hear me out. I need you to know that I didn't sleep with Heidi that night. I don't know what Aro told you, but I want you to know the truth. I did leave the bar with her, but that was it. Once we got to her place I realized what I was doing, that it was a mistake. I left her and came straight home. I was already here when you guys got back, I was just in the computer room talking to a friend on Skype. By the time I'd signed off you had already gone to bed."

I stared at him feeling slightly confused by his words.

He hadn't gone through with it after all? All that torment, all that heartache… it was for nothing?

_And you're just going to believe him? Just like that, Swan? Since when do you give the benefit of the doubt?_

Shut it!

He'd never lied to me before. He'd always been nothing but honest. Even when he knew he fucked up, he still told me the truth. There was no reason for me to think he would be lying to me now.

What choice did I have, but to believe his words?

"Thank you for telling me. Not that it mattered," I lied, "but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's still stuck on third base," I felt ridiculous using a baseball analogy but it was the best I could do under the circumstances. I felt all kinds of verbal diarrhea trying to escape me, but I was determined to keep it down.

After about a minute of uncomfortable silence, I finally looked over at him. His eyes were still watching me and his smile had raised its self into a stupid grin.

My arms crossed themselves in front of me, "Stop looking at me like that," I ordered, instantly glaring at him. Unfortunately, I knew my own smirk was betraying me.

"So then, you um… you _didn't_ sleep with Aro?" he casually pressed, delight was obvious by the raise of his voice with the word, _didn't_.

"Listen Cullen, were not supposed to talk about this stuff, remember. There are still rules in place here," I snapped, strumming my guitar strings briskly with the pick I held between my fingers.

"Right, sorry. Good enough. Glad we cleared the air on this. I mean, seriously. I don't know about you, but I feel extremely better now. Wow, okay, so, I'm running to the store, you need anything?" he asked, sounding almost out of breath. I was thankful that he'd dropped the uncomfortable subject with his closing sentence.

I was even more thankful that he was kind of being absolutely adorable about all this.

I wasn't going to let on though that he'd managed to score some major points with me during this bizarre Romeo and Juliet moment outside our window, "Nope, I'm good. See you later, M&M."

He shot me a wink and I easily returned it then watched him cross over, through the windowsill to return inside the house.

_He's back to wearing down your defenses, Swan. Stay alert or pay the price._

_Shut up! I swear to God, you are worst than that damn cricket from Pinocchio! Leave it alone! Let me figure this out without spinning it to mean something more than it actually has to mean!_ I silently ordered my obnoxious conscious, mentally stomping my foot down beside me.

If he says he didn't sleep with the whore, then he didn't sleep with the whore.

Now, why I felt the need to share the truth about what had, or had not, happened between Aro and I… that was still a mystery to me. And probably a mistake, but it was too late to take it back, so I needed to move on because that's all I could do.

Tonight would be the truest test. I was glad he'd made the decision to come out with us, now I just needed to pray it was the right decision for him to make.

* * *

When we got to work the kids were already lined up in the field with our training counselors at the head of each line. I glanced at Alice and nervously asked if we were late. She checked her watch and insisted we were still ten minutes early. Her response, though, caused Tanya to suddenly gasp.

"Shit, we were supposed to be here at one thirty today. I totally forgot Esme called last night."

"Tanya! How could you forget that?" Alice yelped sounding angrier than I ever could have imagined her to sound.

"Sorry! We were in the middle of our game. I was three shots in and answered the phone on my way to the bathroom!" she loudly replied, with her arms crossed defensively in front of her.

"It's okay, no big deal. Esme doesn't look _that_ pissed." James spoke up, obviously hoping to calm things down before we got out of the van.

"Yeah, she looks only a_ little_ ticked," Rose declared, hiding her smirk.

We quickly parked and made our way across the field with our make-believe tails between our legs.

"Sorry were late. Tanya just now told us about your call when we pulled through the gate." Alice told our boss, wasting no time to throw our housemate under the bus.

"It's alright, I had a feeling my message wouldn't get to you guys when Tanya started singing the movie theater concession stand song into the phone last night," Esme replied with a forced smile. We all bowed our heads unable to hide our embarrassment and made our way to our individual groups to check in with our training counselors.

"Nice of you guys to finally show up," Irina teased, giving Edward's shoulder a playful jab with her closed fist. He laughed and apologized then offered to buy her popcorn at the theater to help make it up to her.

While watching their carefree, flirtatious exchange, I felt a knot tighten in my gut. I ignored it and looked away because that's all I could do. Since ignoring was definitely the theme of the day, what was one more thing to add to the list?

Irina had made it fairly obvious that she was more than interested in getting to know Edward outside of work. However, every night this week, when we'd get home, Edward would always find a way to verbally express that he was in no way interested in having that happen.

In a way it was cute.

I'm sure there was some kind of attraction. I mean the girl was gorgeous and funny and really down to earth. There really wasn't anything not to like. Hell, I even liked her. Not in a sexual, let's make out kind of way, but I really did feel like she was someone I could be friends with outside of work. Because of that it seemed a little silly to me that Edward was so adamant in keeping their socializing strictly work related.

Before I could stop myself the words were already flying out of my mouth, "Irina, were going to Volturi's Crook tonight, would you like to meet up with us?"

Edward looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"Um, yeah… sure. Why not? Sounds like fun. Thanks for inviting me, Bella."

I nodded my head and shot Edward a wink. I was sure my move had just shocked the shit out of him, but there was a method to my madness. Though it would pain me to see him cavorting with our pretty coworker outside of work, I knew I'd probably be spending some time with Aro. Edward would need his own distraction so I was serving one up for him.

For some reason I felt like Irina was safe bait. I think it was mostly because we _did_ work together, and she _did_ seem somewhat professional and responsible when it came to her position at the center. I didn't think she would risk messing that up by jumping into bed with a coworker… at least not right away.

The second she'd accepted my offer though, I was regretting my decision to throw my roommate a bone... Hopefully not a literal bone.

* * *

Once we got the kids settled in their seats I joined Edward at the end of the row where he was saving me a spot between him and Bree. Ms. Irina looked a little bummed when he'd chosen to sit beside me instead of with her at the other end of the row. I did my best to hide my victorious grin, but I knew I'd given myself away when Bree asked why my cheeks were red after I'd taken my seat beside her.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Tanner," I snickered in return, then readjusted my position in my seat so that my body would be leaning away from my roommate who had already placed his left arm on the armrest between us. "So is this movie supposed to be any good?" I asked Bree, hoping to change the subject.

"Hell if I know, all these shitty cartoons are always the same."

"Bree!" I exclaimed, surprised by the little girl's potty mouth response.

"What?" she asked innocently, a smug expression on her face. I gave her a stern look, and felt my motherly instinct naturally take over, which instantly sent another jab to my gut. I shook it off and took in a deep breath, trying my best to regain my composure without showing any signs of discomfort.

I hadn't felt that kind of heartache in a while so the return of it had definitely taken me by surprise.

It was a bit ironic that those feelings would return today, of all days.

"You okay?" Edward asked quietly once the lights in the theater dimmed.

_Your nervous foot tapping must have alerted him. Relax, woman._

"Yeah, just a little chilly." I lied then slouched down in my seat beside him, wrapping my arms around my body after the air-conditioning kicked on above us. Edward of course noticed my tremor and offered me the jacket he'd carried in with him. At first I refused it, but then he insisted saying he'd brought it in specifically for me. Reluctantly I took it from his hands and draped it over my shoulders. I pushed my arms through the sleeves, then settled back in my seat, this time choosing to lean my body inward, towards him.

I refused to let my mind wander to unpleasant thoughts. No matter what today's date was. I was determined to focus on the reality of things and not the possibilities of things that could have been.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Edward still watching me.

Thankfully we'd snagged the last row in the theater so I at least knew there was no need to worry about anyone witnessing this awkwardness from behind.

Of course Bree wouldn't miss a thing though. Nothing ever seemed to get past that adolescent ninja.

"Pssst," her little voice whispered beside my ear. I looked over, eyeing her carefully, then leaned in closer after she'd gestured for me to bring my ear beside her lips.

"I think he wants to hold your hand," Bree's warm breath whispered with a giggle. I rolled my eyes and hushed her, bringing my pointer finger to her lips with a smile sneaking past my own. She shot me a wink, then redirected her stare to the screen in front of us as the coming attractions began to play.

I glanced over at the arm rest and quickly decided, for an innocent young girl, Bree was definitely in tune with her surroundings. Edward's palm was hanging open from the edge of the arm rest. His fingers moving slowly, like a wave, obviously craving for something to hold onto.

"Oh, for Pete's sakes," I snickered then forcefully placed my hand into his and dropped them both on my lap before rolling my eyes at him again. He grinned and gave my hand a quick pulse between his fingers, obviously appreciating the fact that I'd indeed made the first move.

Little did he know I was in desperate need of a distraction today. More so than usual. And for good reason.

"Told you so," Bree whispered with a giggle just before she jabbed Lucy in the arm to gesture towards mine and Edward's locked hands.

This was highly unprofessional, but it still felt right. So I wouldn't challenge it. It was only hand holding, hardly anything that could get us into trouble. I couldn't remember the last time I'd held someone's hand inside a movie theater. I knew it had to have been years ago. Most likely back during my high school days. Jake and I used to hold hands a lot. All of the time actually, but never when we watched a movie. Jake liked to get lost when he watched a film. You could walk past him naked and he would never even blink.

Well, almost never.

Half way through the movie Edward released his grip from my hand and instead draped his arm over my shoulder after lifting the dividing arm rest up between us so he could pull me in closer against his body. For a moment I forgot where we were, and who we were sitting with. I nuzzled my head under his chin and felt his lips press themselves against my forehead briefly before he returned his eyes towards the screen in front of us.

It was pointless for me to try and follow the movie anymore. Being in his arms again, like this, all I wanted to do was sleep. I hadn't realized it before but with Edward, holding me, that was when I'd gotten my best rest. I'd found comfort there and now that I'd given in and allowed myself to feel it again, all I wanted to do was shut my eyes and get some real sleep again. I sat myself up and gave him an apologetic look, "I'll fall asleep if we sit like that," I explained softly. He frowned for a moment and nodded his head then returned his hand to mine, signaling that he understood.

His thumb would make tiny circles over the top of my hand when thunderous booms would come across the speakers, making me jump in my seat, and at the end when the puppy was reunited with its mother, he handed me a napkin, playfully insinuating I may need to wipe my eyes clear of their missing tears. I removed my hand from his and punched him lightly with my fist just as the lights in the theater came up.

This afternoon had been _good_. _Good_ stuff had happened. _Good_ stuff could continue to happen.

Just so long as we took this rekindling business slow.

* * *

To go out that night I'd decided on a short burgundy dress, with a pair of high-heeled, thigh-high boots and a weathered-looking fitted jean jacket to finish the outfit. Sexy, but not too much. Plus it was chilly out, which always made looking hot difficult. However, the expression on Edward's face when I'd come out of the bathroom instantly let me know that my outfit choice had indeed earned a passing score. I stifled my laugh and gave him a light shove when I passed by his bed, not expecting any kind of physical retaliation. He surprised me, though, by falling backwards playfully onto his mattress while pulling me down with him, just in time for Tanya to enter the room, catching the further crumbling of my ACCP's with a smirk on her face.

"Nice to see things are slowly getting back to normal with you two," our roommate snickered before grabbing her jacket from the top of her bed and leaving the room again.

I rolled my eyes, and myself off of Edward and stood back up. Slowly, I smoothed the bottom of my dress back down in front of me and avoided his stare.

"She's right you know, it is nice to have things getting back to normal."

"There's no such thing as normal. Not between us anyways. And if there was, I would do my best to stay far, far away from it," I informed him with a smirk then blew a kiss his way before turning to head downstairs. He called after me, requesting I wait for him, so I stood at the top of the stairs tapping my foot while I glanced down the hall, catching a cowboy hat wearing camera man casually sliding through the beaded curtain of Alice's room. I could hear James hollering about someone eating his last rice cake down stairs so I knew Alice was alone in her room.

_Interesting._

"And what are you up to, Mr. Jasper?" I teased, creating a bashful smile on his face.

"Just talking. I have the night off, I thought maybe she'd like to see a movie or something," he quietly replied, looking down at his own shoes while he shifted his weight back and forth in front of me.

"And she said?"

"She said she'd already been to the movies once today and she wanted to go out with you guys. She invited me to come along, but I dunno. I really wanted to get some one on one time with her," he admitted, then pushed himself back to lean against the wall in front of me.

"Oh, _really_. Give me a minute babe. And start looking up movie times," I told him with smile, then briskly made my way to the other end of the hall. I tapped on the door frame to Alice and James' room then pulled the curtain open to enter before anyone could even invite me inside.

"Oh, hey, Bella. Is everyone ready? I just need to find my cardigan," Alice stammered, still looking flustered over what I was assuming was Jasper's visit to her room.

"Alice, honey, what are you doing turning down some one-on-one time with the pretty cowboy you have a massive lady boner for?" I gently asked, taking her hands into mine to walk us towards the bed so we could take a seat together to really discuss the situation.

"I-I-I just, I don't think it-it's," she started to stutter nervously. I quickly interrupted her by placing my pointer finger to her lips.

"Shhh, see that right there is the problem. You're thinking. Thinking is highly over-rated when dealing with boys. You're into him, he's into you. He wants to take you out. He wants to spend some time with you. Only you. You shouldn't question that or you might miss out on something amaze-" I couldn't finish my own sentence.

I couldn't finish it because I was feeling absolutely ridiculous over the fact that I was giving someone else advice which I myself still couldn't find the strength to follow.

"Bella?" Alice questioned, bringing me back to the conversation we were sharing. I closed my mouth, still feeling like an absolute hypocrite, and shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm probably the last person who should be saying this to you, Alice, but you need to let go. You can't stay inside your glass bubble forever. Eventually you have to stand on your own two feet just to see what happens, without worrying about what other people might think or say. You have to learn to follow your heart. I know it's scary, feeling new… _things_… and exploring new boundaries, but if you don't let it happen, you'll never know what it could have been. I can't tell you it's worth it, because I have no idea, but even if it doesn't end with a happily ever after, at least you'll know you gave it a shot, and you did all you could do," Once I finished I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled letting my own advice settle in my head.

Alice looked up into my eyes and bit at her bottom lip. For a moment I felt like I was looking into a mirror. The petrified look on her face told me that she really was feeling more than just nervousness about all of this. But I also knew she could handle it.

"So, you really think I should go?"

"Honey, I _know_ you should go. He's not going to bite… well, unless you ask him to. It's just a movie, little A. You won't even have to share too many awkward silences. That's the beauty of movie dates," I pointed out, making her smile.

"Okay, you're right. I should go. Will you tell him I changed my mind, and I'll meet him downstairs in five minutes? I'm going to change into something more casual," she requested, still sounding slightly frazzled but looking a bit more certain in her decision.

"Of course. And I expect a detailed report when I get home this evening!" I ordered, then leaned in to place a quick kiss to her cheek before standing back up to exit the room.

Edward and Jasper were waiting for me by the stairs. Jasper looked like a hopeful puppy dog waiting for his master to come home with treats.

I walked towards them with an obvious smirk on my face and smoothly informed the camera man he owed me big time, starting with him losing the footage of my attempt at being a rap star, "Alice will meet you downstairs in a few minutes. I hope you found an appropriate movie to take her to." I informed him with a wink of my eye. I then pinched his cheek playfully and took Edward by the arm to walk him down the steps with me, away from the stunned cowboy.

"What did you do, Rock Star?" he questioned under his breath while eyeing me suspiciously.

"I told her what she needed to hear," I casually replied as we made our way into the living room where everyone else was sitting around waiting to leave.

"It was that easy?"

"Yup. That easy," I replied with a crooked smile.

Now if I could only find a way to apply the same advice I'd given Alice, to my own situation… then we would be getting someplace.

* * *

When we got to the bar I easily found myself admiring Edward from behind while I followed everyone inside. He was wearing the same torn up, dark jeans he always wore when we went out. Christ, did I love those jeans. The slight tear at the right knee, and the faded denim around his… special areas. Who knew an article of clothing could have the ability to make my lady parts quake? Not to mention his hair looked like a pile of sex at the top of his head. My fingers were literally twitching while I tried to control myself from reaching out to tug on his messy auburn locks.

_Calm yourself woman. Rein in your inner horny princess and focus._

I was still staring at him with a stupid, hungry expression on my face when he suddenly turned around to face me. His smile grew after our eyes connected, and I felt my cheeks instantly betray me.

He stopped walking, letting the rest of our housemates pass by, then positioned himself against the wall, waiting for me to catch up, with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Did you get lost in the crowd?" he teased, his eyes dancing casually around the bit of cleavage my dress was allowing to show.

"Silly boy, I'm always lost, no matter the crowd," I toyed in return, then bumped him with my hip. He laughed quietly, shaking his head, and slyly offered to get me a drink at the bar.

I knew better than to accept, "I'll get it. I should go say hi to Aro. We've hardly talked this week," I reminded him, hoping his jealousy would remain masked.

"Right, right. Poor guy must be convulsing just seeing you in the same room again," he mocked, gesturing with his head towards the bar at the other side of the room. When I followed my roommates stare, I found Aro already watching us from behind the counter top.

At the sight of him, and his bewildered expression, I couldn't help but wonder if Jake had been right about Aro and all his apparent plotting. How could he have known, though, that I would get upset over Edward leaving the bar with the town whore? Bottom line, if Jake had been right, then I knew Aro was probably feeling fairly shocked to see Edward and I smiling with one another. Especially so soon, and here in his bar.

The bartender's subtle snarl was all I needed to confirm that my hometown best friend had most definitely been correct with his assessment.

I glanced down at my hand which was still holding onto to Edward's arm affectionately and slowly looked back towards Aro feeling my smile fall slightly. At this point he looked more than agitated, but he still threw me his best half grin from across the room with a paired nod of his head and then a wave of his hand.

He was going to play it cool, and I was going to appreciate that.

I didn't need, or want, any drama tonight.

"How about if I get you your drink? I see Irina is already at the table with everyone else. I'll be there in a few minutes. Go get yourself situated and save me a seat beside you."

"Sure, if that's what you want, Rock Star. Captain and Coke for me, please," Edward answered then shot me a careless wink. I smiled and nodded my head, then casually made my way towards the bar where Aro's eyes were still watching me as I crossed the crowded room.

"Hey stranger, how goes it?"

"What's up, beautiful? I've gotta say, I've missed you like crazy," his reply made my lips raise themselves into a grin, but I couldn't shake the feelings of guilt that also came along with it.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Mr. Volturi," I teased theatrically. He responded by leaning across the counter to place a soft kiss to my lips.

"It's been a hectic week, huh? How's the job going?"

"Still going. I'm really enjoying it actually. I've already gotten pretty attached to several of the kids," I admitted, surprising even myself with my honesty.

"Well, that's good. It's important to like what you do. Helps the hours fly by."

I had to laugh at his statement. There was no way I'd ever end up permanently working with kids in a foster home, but the idea did make me smile.

"Aro, honey, I don't plan on ever working full time, for a very long time, in one place. Ever. I do spurts of employment. I'm probably the most flighty person you will ever meet when it comes to responsibility. Have you not picked up on that yet?"

Camera Man Number One, I always forgot his name, was standing a few feet away from us now. His camera propped, and his lens pointed in our direction.

Aro smiled and shrugged, "Sometimes things have a way of…making someone see things differently… you know, redirect your path and stuff. You never know, Bella." His remark made me roll my eyes, but I figured it was pointless to argue. Aro still had no idea about the amount of money I carried in my bank account and it was probably better that things stayed that way. It was a lot harder to tell who your real friends were once word got out that you could buy just about anything in the world with a simple phone call.

"Can you hang out after I close up later?" his request caught me off guard for some reason.

"Um… I don't know. Alice has us all getting up early in the morning to drive to some park. Were going camping for the night," I told him, feeling thankful to have an excuse.

_Interesting that you want an excuse._

_Wonder what that means, Swan?_

_Shut. It._

I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about Aro trying to come between Edward and I. I'd never in my life been in a situation like this before, but I knew it bothered me. Still, it would be a mistake for me to focus solely on Edward and no one else. I needed another cock distracting me or things would start to get, complicated.

Complications were never good.

Complications were why I'd put a distance between Edward and I in the first place.

"Camping? Huh." He didn't seem to be buying my story… even though it was the absolute truth.

"Yeah, it's for work. Well kind of. Were taking the kids camping in two weeks so Alice thought it would be a good idea if we did a practice run on our own first," I told him, then took the drink from his hand that he had just mixed for me. "I need a Captain and Coke too," I quickly mumbled, letting my eyes glance over my shoulder towards the table where my housemates were sitting.

"Alrighty. I have to charge you for the other drink though."

I rolled my eyes and pulled a ten dollar bill from my pocket, then playfully stuffed it behind the collar of his shirt. "That should cover it. Come find me if things slow down, I've definitely missed you at least a little bit this week. We need to play catch up. I wrote some more to the song, I think you'll really like it," I told him with a suggestive wink, before blowing a kiss his way.

He smirked and agreed with a nod of his head, then poured me my other drink and redirected his attention back to the patrons at the bar who had their own orders to place.

I crossed the room, minding the liquid in the glasses I was carrying, and slid into the booth beside Edward, saying hello to Irina after handing my roommate his drink.

"You look amazing, Bella! I never would have pegged you to be so… um…"

"Fashion savvy? Tell me about it," Rose snickered with a forced smirk. I smiled in return and shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm full of surprises I guess."

"I'll say! I might have to come over and play in your closet before you head back to Oregon. I didn't even realize they had shopping malls out west that carried high end stuff like that. I mean, didn't you say you live in the boonies."

"I do a lot of online shopping," I confessed catching Edward's smile out of the corner of my eye. "Since I don't drive and all."

"Yeah, Edward told me about you not driving, that's pretty crazy. So what do your parents do?" Irina asked, getting a little too nosey for my liking. Edward moved in his seat nervously, and cleared his throat preparing to interject, but I went ahead and answered her question.

"They're dead. They left me a lot of money. The end."

The entire table hushed.

James and Edward were the only two people in the house who knew about my disconnected relationships when it came to my family, or lack thereof.

"Wow, Bells, I'm sorry. I had no idea," Emmett replied, throwing me an apologetic look before glancing back down at the beer in front of him.

_And hello awkward silence._

I let out a frustrated huff and crossed my arms in front of myself. "Its cool. We weren't close. I honestly barely even knew them," I spoke up after a few seconds of mind numbing quietness. I felt my heart rate accelerating. For the most part everyone was avoiding eye contact with me. Everyone accept Edward. He looked like he wanted to pull me up against him to help make it all stop.

_Why the hell couldn't you just say you come from money and leave it at that? _A voice yelled forcefully in my head.

"So if you didn't know them, who raised you?" Tanya finally asked. I knew that would be the next question, so I was prepared. Why I'd decided to share all of this tonight, in the middle of a loud bar… that was beyond me, but I was definitely feeling pissed at myself for letting it happen.

"A lot of people raised me. I was a nomad child," I finished my drink off in record time and forced my glass back down to the table. Still, no one spoke. "Alright seriously? Are we really going to talk about my fucked up childhood all night, or are we going to have a good time? Because I vote for the latter," I added, faking my best smirk.

I really wasn't in the mood for this. I'd almost managed to make it through this godforsaken day without too much distress but now, in its final hours, I'd managed to ruin it all. I'd already said too much. I couldn't stand the pity stares. They needed to stop, and we needed to move on.

"Yeah, so camping, did you get everything we'll need, James?" Edward suddenly asked, thankfully coming to my rescue.

I still couldn't believe Alice had sent James and Tanya, of all people, to purchase all our camping gear. Unfortunately, though, they were the only ones who actually wanted to go so it was an easy decision for her to make.

"Yup, we got two huge tents, and one little one, some air mattresses, sleeping bags, camp fire stuff, cooking stuff, and some other essentials that were keeping a surprise until we set up camp."

"Wow, you guys are going to have so much fun, I'm jealous," Irina pouted. I was sure she was looking for another invite, but I'd already done my good deed for the day when I'd invited her out with us tonight. Truth be told, I was actually looking forward to some camp fire bonding moments alone with my housemates.

"Yeah well, we want to be prepared for our trip with the kids at the end of the month!" Emmett hollered before finishing his beer off.

I noticed the camera guy standing off to the side of us and felt my heart skip a very random beat thanks to the reminder that our little Alice was out on her first ever date with a normal boy.

A real live boy who wouldn't be carrying a Bible in his back pocket or wearing a silly promise ring on his finger.

After hearing a familiar voice call out my name, I looked to the right and found Demetri waving in our direction with a fairly adorable smile on his face. I returned the wave and leaned forward to grant him a kiss to his cheek before he made his way around the table saying hi to everyone else. It was nice to be able to sit back and enjoy a conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with me. As the hour passed, I easily downed two more drinks, and every once in a while Edward and I would lock eyes. He would smile, then I would smile, but Irina would quickly steal his attention back within seconds. Eventually the craving to hold his hand from under the table forced me to leave my friends' company in search of some fresh air to pollute it with smoke from one of my cigarettes.

"Bella, where you going?" It was Demetri. Apparently my escape hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Outside for a cigarette," I replied, continuing my quick pace towards the back door that would lead me out to the parking lot.

"Can I come? I was hoping I could get a minute alone with you. Plus I have something better than tobacco."

"Were you, and _do_ you now? I hope that means what I think it means," I teased, creating a devilish grin on Demetri's face. He pushed the back door open for me with an extension of his arm, then let me pass by him, all while his eyes feverishly scanned up and down my body. He obviously didn't care too much about being coy.

It was dark behind the bar, one tall lamp post flickered where the parking lot met the street, about fifty feet away, but other than that, the only lighting we had came from the moon above us. I continued to walk a few more feet then leaned myself against the building.

"Actually, lets go sit in my car with this." Demetri suggested then waved a tightly rolled joint between his finger tips in front of me. I quickly nodded my head and followed him to the other side of the lot. I was already feeling excited over the opportunity to give my battling brain a rest from all its uncomfortable banter with a little help from a funny cigarette friend.

I was surprised when he made his way around the car to open the passenger side door for me. I took my seat, pulling the skirt of my dress down as far as it would go, then crossed my legs in front of me while I waited for him to take his position on the drivers side.

Being in a parked car, in a dark parking lot, behind a bar, brought back a lot of carefree memories, and that thought instantly had me smiling.

"Something funny?" Demetri asked, his own smile now displayed by the flicker of flame coming from his lighter after he brought it to the tip of the joint that was dangling from his lips.

"No, just thinking of home. These kinds of moments, I mean. They make me think of my buddies back home."

"Well I guess I like it that I can remind you of something from home. Unless you don't like home, of course?"

I shook my head, looking away from his eyes, "It's not that I don't like home. I just needed a break from it for a while. Actually I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind. I'm sorry I even brought it up."

"No problem, babe. I have something else I wanted to speak to you about anyways." He stopped talking for a moment to take a deep inhale off the joint then passed it to me while he held the smoke deep in his lungs.

"Yes, let's talk about something else. I'm assuming it has something to do with your business proposition."

After a few seconds of silence he finally exhaled then shook his head with a smirk across his lips, "You already know me so well," he chuckled with a shake of his head. He took the lit object from my hand after I'd taken a drag and cleared his throat, "So when are you going to come sit down in front of my camera, Bella. I've got some time next weekend. How about next Saturday five-ish?"

I laughed and shook my head, "I haven't agreed to anything yet, sweetie."

"Well let's change that. You'll run the show, I'll only make suggestions, and you'll also get final pick for the pictures that go up on the site."

"How long would it take?"

"Usually all I need is two hours. Sometimes it runs over, if we lose track of the time or something. Like I said though, I'll totally let you call all the shots. I can pay you fifteen hundred dollars, I know you said you didn't care about the money though."

"I'll donate it to Their Place or something," I automatically answered.

"So then you'll do it?" Demetri was already rocking in his seat.

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, "I don't see why not. I'm not signing any contract or anything. I have every right to change my mind, at any point, if I should choose to."

"Deal! You wont regret it, Bella. I promise," he assured me, pounding his right fist into his left hand with a ridiculous amount of excitement. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, already wondering if this was really the right decision for me to make.

_What's a few sexy photos? Seriously, it's so not a big deal when you compare it to the homemade semi-porn-o you and Paul shot together last summer, just for fun._

I took another drag from the joint and sat back in my seat, closing my eyes to enjoy the feelings of nothingness that came along with a good marijuana cigarette. This was what I needed to help end this night on good terms.

Since that was after all, the word of the day.

* * *

**~~*EDWARD*~~**

Bella had been gone for quite a while and for some reason that was making me nervous, especially because I'd seen Demetri follow her outside. I couldn't help it, I just didn't trust the guy. It was a different kind of non trust though. With Aro, I didn't trust that fucker because I knew he didn't have Bella's best interest at heart. With Demetri… he just gave me the creeps because he seemed to fly without many morals or boundaries. That kind of person had the potential to be very dangerous for a girl like Bella.

I pushed the back door open and stepped out into the dark parking lot. I knew there was a chance Bella would be mad at me for checking up on her, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I'd rather her be safe and mad at me, than have her get attacked in a dark alley with no one coming to her rescue.

I scanned the back of the building, finding them nowhere insight and felt my panic begin to rise. I was just about to turn and go back inside when I heard my name being called from the other side of the parking lot. I spotted Demetri's luxury vehicle parked a few spaces from our van and began walking in its direction. A few seconds later, both front doors swung open and I watched Bella and Demetri emerge from the inside of his car. There was an obvious odor in the air so I already knew what they had been up to.

"Alright, well. I'm going to go get some time in with Tanya, I'll see you later, Bella. Looking forward to working with you next Saturday. Make sure you get plenty of rest the night before." Demetri shot me an obnoxious nod of his head then slowly made his way past me. I turned for a moment to watch him walk back towards the door leaving Bella and I behind. In all honesty I was contemplating on running up and sucker punching him from behind, but that was obviously out of the question.

What was happening Saturday and why is her grin making me question whether or not I really wanted to know?

"Everything okay?" I asked, eyeing her carefully.

"Yeah, peachy. Checking up on me, eh?" she was teasing, I could see it behind the smile in her eyes.

She slowly leaned her body against Demetri's car, looking unbelievably sexy then nervously shifted her weight in her fuck-me-please-heels, "How are things inside?"

"Loud." I answered, taking a step towards her.

"Loud is good. Loud helps keep all the creative thinking at a minimum," she playfully toyed, before sending me all kinds if mixed signals by wrapping her arms around my body and nuzzling her head up against my chest. "Thanks for looking out, M&M."

_Thank God, she's not mad. And she's touching you. Major progress, Cullen, just tread carefully. Don't fuck this up._

"FYI though, I know how to both knee, and or punch, a guy in the nuts if one should ever get out of line. You don't need to worry about me. I've been trained to protect myself. Promise," she mumbled, her head still pressed against me. I laughed and increased my grasp around her, taking a moment to appreciate the smell of her perfume since it was something I always found myself missing when she wasn't around.

_Did you really just…_

_Fucking pussy little…_

_Shut that shit up and say something cleaver, not pathetic._

"Oh, I'm sure you're more than capable of defending yourself, Rock Star, I was more worried about Demetri." I joked, then laughed again at her serious expression.

"Funny, Cullen."

"All jokes aside, are you okay? I know you weren't planning on letting all that family stuff out tonight." I mentioned, bringing up the awkwardness that had come along with her sharing some of her history with the rest of our housemates, and a coworker.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I expected today to be full of bullshit, so it wasn't that big a deal. I have to say, though, I'm pretty thrilled by the way its turning out. I figured it was going to be a lot tougher. This is a nice ending to a _good_ day."

I smiled for a moment over her usage of our _g-word_, but frowned as soon as I'd processed her complete sentence, "Tougher? Why tougher?" She looked away bashfully and shook her head, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip just the way they always did when she started to feel uncomfortable.

She shrugged and let out a sigh, "Just one of those days where you wake up and don't want to get out of bed." I could tell she was keeping something from me. There was more, but she wasn't going to share it. Not now. Not here. So I would have to play along.

"Well I'm glad the day's exceeded your expectations then. Perhaps you'll let me add a small bonus?"

I really wanted to kiss her, and with a few drinks in me I was feeling brave enough to go for it. It also helped that along with the scent of her flowery perfume, Bella also reeked of a Bob Marley concert, so I knew she was feeling nice and relaxed.

"What did you have in mind, M&M?" Her smirk let me know it was okay to continue so I took a step forward, pressing her back further against Demetri's car.

"I liked holding you in the theater today," I told her, keeping my eyes locked with the chocolate brown of her own eyes.

"Well, for what its worth, it was nice to be held by you in the theater today. It almost put me to sleep, though. I don't know why, but just being there, in your arms, in the dark… I guess you have the ability to shut it all off for me or something. It felt _good_."

"_Good_, huh?"

She laughed and nodded her head, then ran her hand through my hair, tugging at the nape of my neck with just the right amount of force. "Well I was hoping that tonight, we could, maybe share your bed? Like old times. Just cuddling, no fucking or curious fingers. I promise to keep my lips above the sheets." My smile weakened her defenses, I could read it on her face. She was determined, but I was wearing her down. Every day this week was better than the one before it, she wanted everything I wanted, she just needed my help to set things in motion again. "I would, however, really like to kiss you right now. If you would allow me to, I mean. I think its something we might both enjoy," I suggested with a hidden smirk.

"Edward Masen Cullen are you seriously trying to sell me a kiss?" she laughed with her eyes catching the reflection of the moon, making them sparkle that much more.

_Put your vagina away, Cullen. Focus on her gorgeous mouth and not her haunting eyes._

"Maybe I am?" I teased, "I mean I'm just saying. You were checking me out earlier, I've been checking you out. You're obviously into me, sooooo."

"_Obviously_" she interrupted, crossing her arms in front of her with a smug expression now on her own face.

"Hush-yes. _Obviously_. And I am obviously into you. I want to kiss you. So would you please just let me kiss you so I can feed this damn craving of mine, and move the fuck on."

I'd chosen that last sentence carefully. I knew making her think I just wanted a quick 'fix' from her lips and nothing more, that would help relax her further, and I needed her to relax.

"Alright one kiss," she finally answered after about a minute and a half of bottom lip nibbling, and finger nail picking behavior.

She'd barely finished her sentence, but I was already pulling her towards me, my left hand sliding across the back if her hip to draw her pelvis into my already erect cock, while my right hand slid its opened palm across her cheek. When our mouths met I felt everything inside of me celebrate. I'd missed her lips so much. Who the fuck knew that a person could become addicted to something as simple as a damn kiss. It was the truth, though. Feeling her lips on mine again confirmed that her touch was now something I needed, not just wanted.

She moaned into my mouth and pulsed the back of my neck with the grip of her hand, letting me know it was okay to continue our moment. I moved my tongue across hers, holding her face carefully between the palms of my hands. This was all I wanted to experience. I didn't need anything else from her but these simple kisses and her bed to share our nights in with nothing but platonic cuddling.

Besides, I knew after a few weeks of it she would be begging for me to remove her panties again. I just had to let her see it was okay to let me back in… and further in this time.

"I've missed your mouth, M&M. I guess I should thank you for being such a good salesman."

I laughed at her statement and kissed the top of her head, "After catching you checking out my ass earlier, I had a pretty good feeling you'd be an easy sale."

She rolled her eyes, just like I knew she would, then stood on her toes to kiss my nose playfully, "I think I'm ready to go home. I'd like to get our cuddle time on."

_Win!_

_Wait till Aro gets a load of this._

_We've barely been here for an hour, and she's already willing and wanting to head back home with you! You! Not him._

I dropped my arm over her shoulder feeling victorious and walked us both towards the door while my ears listened to her relaxed breathing.

She was good. Comfortable, and good. Here in my arms. Which was exactly where she belonged.

We'd just stepped inside, and were still a few feet away from our table when Bella suddenly stopped moving beside me. I looked down and found an opened mouth shocked expression on her face. Quickly, I followed her gaze and found some strangely familiar guy staring back at us. Well, he was staring at Bella. Not so much at me. His eyes were locked with hers, and his smile let me know this was someone she knew.

"How the hell? What are you doing here!" She squealed at the top of her lungs, then took off running towards the mystery guy who was now holding his arms opened to catch her.

* * *

**A/N: AH! Who is the mystery guy? Guesses anyone?**

**Incase you were wondering, the Lil'Wayne song Bella rapped for her friends ****was 6 Foot 7 Foot. I can't tell you how hard I giggled when I pictured her doing that in my head. :)**

**I forgot to give my bb CC some thanks with the last chapter for helping me remember the color codes that go along with child care centers, soooo Thank you CC! Love you honey!**

**And my beta, clarabella75, deserves some major leg humping because she got this chapter back to me ridiculously fast! That woman is amazing!**

**I have a fic rec this week. It's called Love the Way You Lie, by bnjwl (the original OS was written by ****Robicorn)** . Yes it's based off of the song, yes its dark and full of angst, yes you need to check this fic out! 

**http: /www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/6847318 /1/ Love_The_Way_You_Lie **

**Alright so thats all for now. I'll do my best to update quickly. Girl Scouts honor. ;)**

**Who is at the bar? What was so significant about this Friday to Bella? Is Bella getting in over her head with Demetri? Thoughts please! **

***Please Review! Make me smile. Next outtake shit goes downnnnnnn***


	14. Home Meets Reality

******Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**AN: Sorry for the delay. Real life... I can't say it's been a total bitch because I got to spend last week/weekend in Orlando with some amazing women I met thanks to this phenomenal fandom, so it was totally worth it, but I feel bad nonetheless. If you reviewed and didn't get the outtake for the last chapter please drop me a PM, FFn was being a little bitchy when I sent them out. **

**This chapter is rated M for a bit of citrus and dirty mouths. **

* * *

**Home Meets Reality **

**Chapter 14**

**~~*Edward*~~**

I watched on as Bella ran into the arms of someone else. Someone who she obviously knew, and obviously cared about.

Someone I already didn't like.

"Oh my God! No, seriously! How is this happening? What are you doing here?" I heard her asking after I'd stepped up close enough to listen in on their exchange.

"Surprised?" the guy asked, grinning, just before she took his face between her hands to kiss his lips firmly. He seemed to freeze with her action. I found that both interesting and annoying. She was obviously attached to the guy, but he seemed genuinely surprised over the amount of affection she was showing him.

My eyes continued to watch them stand there, holding each other with their eyes closed while they rocked back and forth on their feet. I felt my unease rising with every passing second. Who ever this was, he was trouble.

Bella meant something to him. She was something special. Very special. This was fact.

"I can't even tell you how surprised I am. How could you not tell me? I just talked to you yesterday!"

He shrugged and pulled one of her dreads back behind her shoulder, then ran his finger across her cheek to catch the single tear of happiness that had rolled down her cheek. "It was an impulsive decision. After we got off Skype, after our talk… I just really felt I should be here. I hope you're not mad."

"Mad? No! I just still can't believe it! I feel like- like I'm dreaming," Bella stuttered, shaking her head with her eyes looking down at the ground now. Slowly, she raised her chin to make eye contact with me, "Um, wow. Okay, Edward. This is my best friend Jake. Jake, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Edward."

She'd finally introduced us, and it finally made sense.

_So this was Jake. The hometown BFF who helped save your ass, Cullen._

_And apparently he's in love with the same girl who's currently driving you insane with the same kind of fucked up feelings that nearly ended you the last time._

_Awesome._

You could tell just by the way he looked at her. He had it bad. So bad it almost made me feel guilty. Like I'd already been encroaching on his territory.

That feeling only lasted a millisecond.

"It's nice to meet you, Edward. Bella's told me a lot about you."

"Mostly good, I hope," I calmly replied, shaking his hand.

"_Mostly_."

I smirked at his response and shook my head, not really knowing what else to say.

"How did this happen though? There's no way you had the money to buy a last minute plane ticket across the country!" Bella questioned with her hands on her hips.

"I sold my bike. Well, I pawned it. Harry promised to just hold on to it till I could pay him back."

"Jake! No! I'll call in the morning and have the money wired to him right away. How much was the loan?"

"Bella, it's no big deal," her friend insisted, looking slightly flustered over her offer.

"Nonsense. It is a big deal. You will _not _lose that bike on account of me, Black!"

He smiled at her persistence and pulled her in for another hug, "I knew you would try to do that, and I already told Harry not to accept it. This is on me. I wanted to be here. Besides, I did have a little help. I didn't come alone," he told her with a slight smirk.

"Dread-i-locks!" Someone suddenly boomed from behind me, I instantly turned and found an equally tan, beefed up looking guy with chaotic dark hair holding his tattooed arms out towards Bella, while one hand grasped his beer tightly in the air.

"Shut-the-fuck-up! Paul? How did you guys? I-can't-believe-this!" Bella was beside herself. She could barely get her words out between her hiccuped sobs.

"It was all Jake's doing. I just came along for the ride," the new guy reported just before she kissed his lips deeply with her own.

"I've fucking missed you guys so much!" She squealed then led Paul over to me for our introductions.

"Paul, this is my friend Edward."

"Ah. I see. So you're the guy who-" he didn't get to finish his sentence because Bella had swiftly elbowed him in his ribs to shut him up. He chuckled and grabbed at his side playfully, pretending that she'd actually hurt him.

"Hush," she warned him then shot me an apologetic look. And with that look I felt all my hopes for cuddle time slowly disappear.

Her friends were here. Early.

Why are her friends here early? What the fuck?

_She said she'd predicated today would be full of shit. Hence the visit, Cullen._

And there fall the puzzle pieces, interlocking perfectly. She really was hiding something about the significance of today's date. Her friends wouldn't just chose to travel across the country on an impulsive whim for nothing.

"Well, I'm Edward. Dunno about being, _the guy_," I finally replied, after a few seconds of awkward silence and repetitive handshaking. Bella laughed nervously then pulled our hands apart to drag them to our table in the corner of the bar.

I followed closely behind. All the while, charting in my head what is was that I didn't like about the two of them.

_Careful, Cullen. You're vagina is showing again._

"Guys! I want you to meet my buddies from home. They decided to surprise me with a visit. This is Paul and Jake!"

I continued to observe as Bella went around the table introducing her friends to the rest of the house while I stood in the background, doing my best to remain relaxed.

Watching her stand between the two of them, holding onto their forearms as though her life depended on it… it made my skin crawl. Just knowing that she'd slept with the both of them, _multiple_ times, was enough to raise my blood pressure. I no longer cared that the one had helped Bella see I deserved another chance. To me, right now, he was just another cock out looking to win something that was meant to be mine.

Okay, perhaps that was a bit presumptuous, but she had just agreed to head back home with me, to sleep in my arms for the first time in a very long time, and now the chances of that happening were slim to none. I was pissed.

After a few minutes at our table she pulled the guys aside, but I was still able to make out their conversation. Even though I knew it was wrong for me to eavesdrop, I couldn't stop myself. I think I blamed my weakness partially on Bella's inability to be entirely upfront about everything.

"Wait, how did you know I was here? At the bar I mean," Bella asked, still holding onto Jakes arm tightly.

"Um, Alice told us we'd find you here. She was on her way out with some guy in a cowboy hat."

Bella laughed and shook her head, "That's Jasper. He's one of the camera guys." she explained leaning herself further into her _BFF_.

"Nice. Well yeah, she told us where we could find you, but we decided to go check in at the hotel to change first."

"What? You mean you didn't rush your asses here to see me?" she pouted playfully.

"You hush, we just flew our asses across the country to see you!" Jake laughed then pulled her in for another hug. She smiled looking up into his eyes then buried her head under his chin looking bashful but completely relaxed. Watching their exchange was almost like seeing another side of Bella for the very first time… I didn't like that.

"So how long are you guys here for?"

"Just the weekend. We fly back Sunday night at five," Paul answered then took a swig from his beer bottle.

"Aw, that's no time at all!" The frown on Bella's face was much more genuine this time. "I wish you didn't waste money on a room. You could have stayed at the house since it's just the two of you."

Jake shrugged and told her he didn't want to create any problems with our routines, especially since this was a surprise visit.

_Good call, Black._

"Well let's go back to the house. We've got plenty of beer there. I want to give you the tour, we can catch up and stuff. It's too loud here, I can't think straight. Edward and I were about to head home anyways," I flinched hearing my name leave her lips then quickly redirected my eyes. "Um, I'm going to head back to the house with Jake and Paul, you guys don't mind do you?" she asked the table. James, Rose, and Emmett had already been whispering amongst each other about how quickly Bella's entire essence had changed the moment she saw her friends here. I wasn't enjoying their observations so I'd chosen to stay out of the conversation. Plus, I was too busy trying to follow Bella's own discussion with her boy toys.

_Fucking boy toys_.

"Um… Edward. You can come, if you want to I mean?" she seemed nervous to be extending the invitation to me. Unfortunately, I couldn't decide if that was because she didn't really want me to tag along, or if she was feeling guilty about our plans being ruined. I locked my eyes with hers to look for my answer. Her grin raised slightly with a subtle nod of her head letting me know she really did want me to come along, so I, of course, took the bait.

"Alright, yeah. Like you said we were heading out anyways."

"Awesome, m'kay then. I'm just going to go say bye to Aro real quick, be right back," Bella told us, then spun herself in her heels to turn and head up to the bar where I saw the bartender already standing by watching.

_Douche. Well at least she didn't feel the need to introduce him to her friends. That's interesting._

"Are you guys going to stay back?" I asked the rest of my housemates who were all smirking in my direction now. "What?"

"You sure you want to go play _fourth _wheel?" James carefully questioned, now that Paul and Jake were busy in their own conversation a few feet away from us.

"Oh, shut up. I was going home anyways. We were literally on our way out the door," I insisted glaring over his words.

"Okay, man, just so long as you realize what you might be getting yourself into. Were going to stay a little while longer, maybe go down to the beach bar." I didn't feel like saying anything else, so I just nodded my head and said goodnight to Irina. I'd almost forgotten all about her with everything else that had happened.

She stood up from the table to give me a tight hug and gently whispered in my ear that she was bummed our evening had been cut short.

"I'll see you Monday. There will be lots of other weekends, no worries gorgeous." My promise for another time helped replace her frown with a truer smile. She quickly nodded her head then leaned in to place a quick kiss to my cheek, earning a round of _'Oh!'s' _from my obnoxious housemates at the table. I quickly shot them my middle finger then turned to find Bella watching from a distance with a blank expression on her face while she stood between her two friends just a few feet away.

I knew that look. I knew that look because I'd felt it on my own face numerous times since meeting her.

She was jealous, and I'd just earned myself some major points.

* * *

During the taxi ride to the house, Bella got a brief update on everyone back home. I, of course, got stuck sitting in the front seat with the driver while she giggled and laughed with her buddies in the back. She really was a different person with these guys around, and something about that bothered the fuck out of me. I'd never heard her talk so much, and with such desperation to get so much out all at once. At times it was almost manic, and I found myself wondering if this was the truer Bella I was seeing… if around us in the house she was constantly walking on egg shells in fear of saying the wrong thing.

"So, Edward, when are you going to start competing again? I'm sure Bella already told you we missed watching you in the X-Games this year," Paul questioned with a laugh as we made our way up to the front door of our house.

"Shut your face!" Bella hissed in return, slapping his chest with her hands after spinning herself around to walk backwards in front of us.

"I'm signed on to do the Dew Tour in November," I told him without looking in his general direction.

I was too busy staring at her sexy smirk and guarded eyes. After I'd snapped to I slipped my key into the lock and pushed the front door open to let them in. Bella surprised me by taking my hand once everyone else had passed through the doorway.

"Wanna go wait for me upstairs? I'll get them settled in the living room, then come up to change?" she whispered softly, pulsing my hand in hers.

And with that action I felt as though a fifty pound weight had just been lifted off my chest.

"Sure," I answered, letting a random wink escape me with my response. She blew me a kiss with her freed hand then released me to take the guys by the arm, showing them to the kitchen and living room area of the house.

I wasn't sure if she was wanting some alone time with them, or me, but whatever the case, I would be happy to take whatever she gave me once she came upstairs. After our kiss in the parking lot, I was craving the return of her lips. Hell, I was craving a lot more than that but I wasn't in a picky mood.

Once I climbed the steps I went into our room and pulled out my sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into then took myself into the bathroom to change.

I still couldn't believe this was happening. I'd thought I'd have at least two more weeks before these interruptions arrived, yet here they were. I was washing my face at the sink when a tap came from the partially closed door. In the reflection of the mirror I saw Bella's smiling face. I returned the grin and hung my towel up on the hook then made my way towards her. She really did look happier than I'd ever seen her, I had to give her friends some credit for being able to do that for her. It still didn't mean I liked it, though.

"I'm sorry," she insisted, draping her arms over my shoulders to run her fingers through my hair.

"It's no big deal," I tried to tell her, but I knew my disappointment was probably fairly obvious to her.

_Yeah, that's right. Your vagina is showing again, Cullen._

"I know, I'm just sorry. This wasn't we had planned, and I-"

"Bella, its okay. Your friends surprised you, it's not your fault. They obviously felt it was important for them to be here, for you… today… for some reason… even though you won't tell me what that reason is, I get it."

She looked away avoiding my eyes again and shook her head, "You know I'll tell you. Just not right now."

I sighed and pulled her in up against me, wrapping my arms around her waist so I'd be able to feel her heart beating against mine, "Are you still coming camping tomorrow?"

"Shit, I hadn't even thought about that. Yes. Of course. I wouldn't miss that, they'll just have to come along. Do you think the rest of the gang will mind?"

I shrugged my shoulders not really knowing what everyone else might think.

"Well, hopefully they won't mind. I would hate to not go, but I couldn't just leave them here when they made the trip to come see me."

"Of course not. I don't think anyone will care. Hell, I think Tanya was already scouting out your boy Paul at the bar. I'm sure she'd be all about it," I teased. Bella laughed against me and increased her grasp around my body.

"Thanks for being… _you_."

"It's who I am, Bella. Just me. Glad you're starting to realize it."

She laughed again and shook her head with it still pressed against my chest.

"Come hang out for a little while, please? I want them to get to know you," she requested, pulling herself away to look me in the eyes. She was nibbling at that lip again. I was going to have to do something about that if she didn't stop.

"Okay, if you'll give me some motivation, I might be able to do that," I answered, grinning, then pointed to my own lips playfully. She smirked with a roll of her eyes and stood up on her toes to instantly bring her mouth to mine. She parted her lips to run her tongue across mine, and I moaned impulsively then pulled her hips further into me so she could feel just what her kiss had done.

"Now, now M&M, put that thing away," she toyed after separating herself from me, far too quickly.

"Fine, I'll behave. It's just nice to be out of timeout again," I teased then slapped her ass after she'd turned to grab a change of clothes from the dresser.

I left Bella upstairs and went down to the living room to find her friends while she got herself comfortable. They were set up at the pool table drinking beers and laughing about something when I came into the dimly lit room.

"Hey Edward, sorry we crashed your _cuddle_ plans with Bella."

For a moment I was shocked she'd told them so much, but then I reminded myself that these were the guys she told everything to. Well, almost everything. I still knew something they didn't know.

That reminder instantly made me smile.

"Nah, it's cool. It's made her day, you guys showing up. How could that be a bad thing?"

I watched as Bella's friends glanced at each other with disguised smiles spread across their faces before Jake casually cleared his throat, "That's a nice way to look at it. I've already got a good feeling about you, Cullen."

I shook my head, and accidentally looked towards one of the installed camera's in the corner of the room. Without thinking about it, I pulled a pool stick down from the rack hoping to join their game. "Bella will be down in a few minutes, how about if we split into teams?" I suggested.

"Sure, why not? Losing team must complete a dare chosen at anytime this weekend by the winning team."

"Oh, Christ. We're not playing truth or dare," Bella's smooth voice informed us as she entered the room from behind me, wearing nothing but her usual nighttime oversized t-shirt and some tiny ass boxer shorts that you could only see when she'd raise her arms up in the air to mess with her hair.

"Fuck, Bella, I can't believe you brought that shirt here. I thought we told you to toss that thing! Edward, did she tell you the story behind this shirt?" Paul asked, pulling the fabric from her body before bringing her in under his arm. She playfully smacked him with her hand and quickly twirled herself away from his grasp.

"No, I haven't heard the story, although, I was pretty sure there was one," I admitted, making her smile again before she shot me a wink from behind the kitchen counter. She was mixing herself a drink now.

Vodka and vodka, on the rocks. Something to settle her nerves.

"We like to call that shirt _Bella's Blanket_. She's had that thing since we were what, fourteen?" Jake asked her.

"Yeah. They gave it to me after the went away to some kind of male bonding summer camp," she casually replied with a flip of her hair, hiding her grin.

"It was football camp!"

"Whatever. You call it football, I call it male bonding. Why else do large men decide to jump on top of one another wearing nothing but spandex?" she teased, instantly causing Paul to charge her and lift her body up over his shoulder to spin her around in the center of the room.

"Listen, Swan, you've never complained before about our tackling skills. Besides, we learned a lot that summer," he threatened, making her giggle louder than I'd ever heard.

"Oh, I'll say we did," she finally got out between her breaths before yelling for him to put her down. Bella laughed again then planted a kiss to Paul's cheek before making her way back towards me to slide her arm around my waist and give my cheek its own kiss. "They're right, this is my comfort shirt. My own blanket of sorts. I hope you won't think any less of me now that you know I like to sleep in a eight year old tee-shirt," she toyed with a smirk then kissed my lips softly. With her added action I let my mind forget her previous suggestive comments between her and Paul and smiled looking down into her eyes.

"I'll never think less of you, over anything, Bella," I assured her, making her grin go crooked for a moment before she removed herself from my grasp to retrieve her glass of booze from across the room. I looked up just in time to see Jake's own broken expression staring in my direction and narrowed my eyes on impulse. He looked away and rounded the pool table to take his shot, but I knew what he was thinking. He didn't like seeing her in my arms kissing me. That was obvious. Even if he did want to like me, this was not easy for him.

He was fighting a losing battle.

I glanced towards Bella just in time to see her chug the last of her drink down her throat and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. She shot me a fresh wink and announced she was getting a refill and then running back upstairs to get Jane.

_"Jane_! It's been so long!" Paul hollered in response just before winning the game for both he and Jake. "And the dare is ours!"

"Wait for me to get back!" Bella called over her shoulder while her flawless legs ran her out of the room. I watched, feeling my mouth hang open after seeing her hair bounce off her back and shoulders just above her gorgeous tight ass with every move she made.

I realized I was still staring and smiling like a total sleaze when Paul came up to give me a playful shoulder jab.

"She's hot, right?" he asked with a grin while eyeing me suspiciously.

"Excuse me?"

"Bella, she's a ten. Hell, she's a fucking twenty," he replied, still smiling.

"Yeah. She's great. I've never met anyone like her," I told them, deciding I should just be honest. Even though I knew Bella had fucked both of these guys, for most of her life, I was determined to make myself think of them as though they were her brothers, and not her lovers.

It was twisted as hell, but if I wanted to keep myself from letting my jealousy override my rationality, I had no other choice but to think this way.

"She's more than great, and you'll never, ever, meet anyone like her. She's one of a kind. That's why you need to treat her like one of a kind. Look, Edward, Jake won't come out and say this but I will. We came here to see you, just as much as we came here to see her."

"Me?" What the hell was this guy saying?

"We had to come out here to make sure she was okay. Things have been rough right? Lately, I mean?"

I could hardly believe we were actually having this conversation an hour after having just met, but here we were and it was really happening. "Yeah, we've hit some bumps. Like I said, I've never met anyone like her. I'm still learning how to… how…"

"How to live by her rules?" Jake asked interrupting me, and joining the conversation.

I glared at him for a second, but ultimately nodded my head. He smiled and looked away, letting Paul continue with his warning.

"Bella's rules are important to her. We've gone with them because it was either agree and deal, or lose her forever. She was too important to lose forever. Our role in her life… we've been her foundation, her family. We only want her to be happy. Jake here, he wants to know she's being taken care of. Were not going to dick around, were worried about her, and we have good reason. It's not our place to tell you about all that though, that's got to be her call. Were just here to make sure she's doing okay. Jake-"

"Paul, shut up. I can talk for myself," Jake finally spoke up again as he made his way back from the fridge with a fresh beer for both him and his buddy. "We're here to assess the situation. And to learn more about you, since- since Bella's obviously taken an interest in you. We have to be sure you're good for her."

"So what, I need your blessing?" I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of me.

"No, this is for you too, man. Believe me when I say you're getting yourself into a big pile of bullshit when you decide to become a part of Bella's life. She's the most complicated woman you will ever fall for, but she's also worth the trip. I mean if you're really the one who will be able to get her to finally open up. You have to look past all the chaos, all the destruction. She just wants to be understood, and not questioned. Cared for. If you can do that for her, then you're exactly what she needs."

"Thanks for the advice, anything else?" I asked, hearing Bella's feet as she descended the steps in the other room.

"That's all for now," Jake swiftly answered for Paul. I nodded my head and turned my eyes to see Bella twirl herself back into the room with Jane's strap around her shoulder and a grin on her face.

"Did I miss anything?" she asked, her fingers already strumming her guitar strings playfully.

"Nope, just more male bonding moments," I teased creating an even wider grin on her face.

"Nice! Alright, let's go sit outback so I can have a cigarette and we can jam."

"Bella fuck! No! You did not start smoking again!" Paul shouted looking unbelievably disappointed in her.

"I only have like four a day, maybe five," she insisted, even though I knew that was a slight lie as of late.

"Four or five too many. I mean it, you're not smoking that shit in front of me." He really did seem genuinely pissed, but Bella only rolled her eyes and blew him a kiss.

"I'll be outside, you can either join me, or stay here sulking. The choice is yours. Love me the way I am, or leave me behind," she told us. I, of course, followed her outside. I didn't need any more solo lecturing from her boys.

I heard Paul release a loud frustrated grunt, but seconds later both he and Jake were behind us pulling chairs from beside the hot tub to carry them towards the bench Bella and I had already taken a seat on.

"So glad you decided to join us," Bella mocked with a wink of her eye as she set a cigarette between her lips and brought the lighter to its tip. Paul immediately leaned forward and flicked it out of her mouth making her jump from her seat fuming. "Don't fucking start, Paul!" she warned through clenched teeth. Jake stood up and separated the two of them with his arms extending between them, creating some much needed space while he pleaded with Bella to relax. I had to admit, It was kind of nice seeing Bella blow up at someone else besides me for once. "I mean it, Jake, tell him to cut that shit out! "

"Paul, chill. If she want's to shorten her life we can't stop her. She's a big girl." Jake finally said, after looking back and forth between the two of them for a few seconds.

"Christ, you're both so melodramatic. I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a car. At least with the cigarettes I'm controlling my destiny," she insisted then took another sip from her drink before pulling a fresh smoke from her pack. She tucked her legs up underneath her body and leaned her head against my shoulder as though it were the most natural thing in the world for her to do. "Edward doesn't give me shit about it," she informed them, and I saw Paul's glare redirect itself towards my direction.

"Yeah well, if he cares about you he'll start to."

His comment had me seeing red, and for a moment I almost told him to fuck off, but thankfully I caught myself before I showed my inability to keep my temper maintained.

"Whatever. Shut up for a minute and listen to the new song I've been working on," she demanded without looking up from Jane's strings. They quieted down and leaned back in their seats with their eyes set on Bella, but every once in a while one of them would glance towards me. I could feel their eyes, but I couldn't have cared less what they thought. Of course I cared about Bella, but who was I to tell her what she should and shouldn't do? I'd still only known her for just a few weeks. My opinions about her smoking habits didn't matter to her. At least not yet. That didn't mean I wouldn't ever tell her that it bothered me. Or that my favorite uncle had died from lung cancer when I was only eleven.

No, I'd save those stories for when she might really feel something for them and think about what it meant for me to watch her inhale on those things. She needed to realize she mattered to me first, before she'd learn to care about considering my opinions on her life choices.

I smiled looking down at her while she began playing on her guitar, her eyes, head and body swaying to the beat her finger tips were creating. I really did love this song. There was so much passion pouring from her whenever she would play it. The first time she'd shared it with me, I swear I saw a tear slide down her cheek. Every time since then she's always played with her eyes closed tightly, and a blank expression on her face. She was guarding her emotions, but her music couldn't hide what she was really feeling. I'd definitely discovered a weakness of hers, and some how I'd figure out a way to use it for my advantage.

* * *

Over two hours had passed and it was starting to get late. Bella reminded us of that with her unusually loud yawn right after she'd stood up from the bench extending her arms out at her sides with her fists closed tightly.

"Well guys, I hate to shut the party down, but we've got to get up pretty early, and I was already up pretty early this morning. My eyes just don't want to stay open," she told them. I watched her pull herself against their bodies and they remained locked in a group hug for a few seconds before she pushed them away playfully, "Okay, enough."

"Yeah, we should go get some rest. It was a long flight. I guess we'll call you on that fancy cell phone of yours in the morning, and you can tell us what the verdict is about the camping trip," Jake told her, holding onto her hand a little while longer. She quickly nodded her head and kissed his cheek.

"I'm going to walk them out. How about I meet you upstairs?" Bella slyly suggested, giving my arm a brief squeeze as they passed by me.

"Yeah, sure. I'll grab you a water," I told her then said good night to the guys.

"See you in the morning then, Edward." Paul gave me a nod of his head, and I returned it then threw one towards Jake. He didn't respond, and I wasn't surprised.

After grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge, I turned the lights off downstairs and headed up to our room feeling a little excited that Bella had sent her friends home, and we were still here alone, with plenty of cuddle time left and no standby cameras to watch.

This night had definitely taken a turn for the better after a very dramatic dive off a cliff. My head was still spinning slightly, over having spent the last few hours with Bella and her friends while they took turns on her guitar and shared stories about what Bella had been like growing up. I'd learned a lot, but the one thing I learned the most was that Bella really did have a special relationship with these guys she liked to call 'her boys'.

That, and Jacob Black was head over heels in love with her.

"Hey, you," her voice whispered after she'd stepped through the curtain to join me in our room.

I smiled and turned to face her.

"So, did I get a passing score?" I asked, trying my best to keep a straight face.

"They like you… _so far_. We'll see what the verdict is come Sunday, after they've gotten some time to _really_ get to know you," she teased while her legs brought her closer towards me. I scanned the faded camp tee-shirt she was wearing and extended my arms out to take her against me. Throughout the night Bella hadn't held herself back from putting her hands or lips on me. But all our moments had been fairly PG rated, and truthfully she'd shown both Paul and Jake the same amount of attention at times. She was definitely a pro at making sure we all felt important to her, without one ever getting more attention than the other for too long a time. That had been noticeable during the evening, and I had to admit, I found her ability to multitask fairly impressive for some fucked up reason.

"They seem cool. I mean, a definite step up from Aro," I joked making her laugh sarcastically. "I was a little concerned about your taste in friends, Rock Star."

"Okay, shut it. Get your ass into my bed. I'm exhausted," she demanded with a point of her finger and a slap to my ass. I laughed quietly and followed her directions while her hands guided me at my hips. Once at the edge of her bed I held my arm out, gesturing for her to get in first, then ran back to turn the light out. Our room was dark but the curtains at our window were still open so there was just enough light coming in for me to make it back to her bed without falling on my face.

She pulled her comforter back and I climbed in beside her, praying my cock would behave for at least a few minutes. The motherfucker had a mind of its own though whenever Bella was around. I pulled her body up against me and took in a deep breath beside her ear, making her giggle as she laced her fingers with mine from where my hand was resting against her belly, under her t-shirt.

"Your hands are ice cold," she observed then pressed her back deeper against my chest.

"Sorry, give them a minute."

She laughed again and nodded her head from under my chin. "Thanks for being cool tonight, you really were… I dunno. You were great with them."

"What did you expect me to be?"

"I'm not sure. I hadn't really thought about it because I thought I had a few more weeks to worry."

That kind of surprised me. "Why worry?" I asked.

She took in a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders, "I just really want them to like you."

I was smiling in the dark now, "Why do you _really_ want them to like me, Bella?"

I could feel her body stiffen slightly just before she slowly began to turn herself around in my arms to face me.

"Because, Edward,_ I_ really like you," she finally answered, looking me dead in the eyes with our faces mere inches apart.

After a few seconds of considering a response, I decided to just go with a simple, "huh" which earned me a playful smack to my chest before I pulled her back down on top of me. We'd lucked out that we'd had no actual camera man following us around all night, and that we were now home alone in bed still without one. Part of me wanted to take advantage of that, but I had promised her I would behave.

_Now, if she wants to take things in another direction who are you to stop her?_

My hands ran themselves up her legs to latch onto her hips while her own fingertips traveled through my hair then down my chest.

"All you can say is, huh?" She did seem genuinely hurt for a moment till my smile snuck through. Then she slapped me again, but this time I caught her wrist and pulled her down against me feeling victorious in predicting her move.

"I really like you too, Bella. Why else would I put up with all your rules and regulations?" I asked her, pressing my hands down her back to cup her perfect ass against my awakened dick. I couldn't help it. She was grinding herself against me with nothing but our boxer shorts between us and with my hands touching the skin of her hips from under her shirt, the shirt her boys gave her nine years ago. All I wanted to do was take that shirt off her body. I didn't need any reminders of all the guys she'd been with over and over again throughout the years.

All the guys who already meant something to her.

"You know that kiss we shared earlier, out in the parking lot, M&M?"

"Yeah, how could I forget, Rock Star."

"Well there's no third party here, we're still all alone."

"You noticed that too, did you?" I teased, feeling her body tighten above me before she began to shift herself up to look back into my eyes.

"I did, and I think I'd like to have a second helping… of the kiss, I mean," she admitted with an impulsive shift of her crotch over my firmed member.

"Fuck, Bella, you don't have to ask me twice."

"I was hoping you would say that," she whispered, then leaned herself further into me so that our lips could once again come together, creating that ridiculous feeling as though nothing in life could ever be better than this.

Her lips felt like perfection while they parted against my own, her tongue finding its way to mine; it instantly caused my cock to pulse beneath her. My hands were moving with such speed across her back that for a moment I feared I might bruise her. I just couldn't get enough. I wanted all of her. More so than I ever had before. I felt this overwhelming need to make her mine, to show her what I could give her if she would only let me in.

After watching her interact with her boys from back home, I knew, now more than ever, that I wanted more.

I wanted to be the person she told everything to, the one she confided in, no matter what. I wanted to be the one to know all her stories, all her fears, all her hopes and dreams. I wanted to be the one to make her laugh. The one who could make her feel safe, loved, and important. I knew I could be that man for her. All I needed was for her to see that too.

After spending only a few hours with Jake and Paul, I learned what it was she needed from me, and I was ready to provide everything.

"Edward?" her voice whispered breathlessly in the dark, she pressed her ear against my chest after removing her lips from mine, and I knew it was to listen to the rapid beating of my heart. She wanted auditory proof that she had the capability to drive me absolutely wild with her mouth, and the feel of her skin.

"Yeah?"

"I, I just… I want you to know that you- you make me unbelievably happy, and so… comfortable. I really am sorry for pushing you away before- the way I did. I'm just scared… about all of it… what it means…"

For once she was being absolutely honest with me.

"I'm scared too, Bella, but I'm glad you've decided to give it all a chance. You make me happy. Especially when you're not mad at me for trying to take care of you." Why I felt the need to ruin the moment by bringing up the shitty part of our relationship, my overprotective self, I had no fucking idea. But I had, and it was out there. For a moment she looked sad about it, and I felt like a complete prick.

"I'm sorry. I'm just such a fucked up mess. I don't know what you even see in me- why you would even bother," she replied, honesty escaping her once again.

I swiftly took her by her waist and then gently repositioned our bodies so that she was now laying beneath me. I wanted to be able to look her in the eyes when I said my next words.

"Bella, I care about you. All of you. The fucked up parts, and the fairly normal parts. All of you. I don't know what any of it means, but I know it has to mean something, because you make me want to be a better me. You make me want to feel again. When you're around all I want to do is make you smile, make you happy. I realize that scares you, like I said, it scares me too, but I can promise you this; I will never ever do anything that will hurt you. I will never be that person."

She continued to look up into my eyes with a blank expression on her face as she reached up to touch my cheek with the back of her hand gently.

"I honestly don't deserve any of that, Edward. I really don't."

"But you do, Bella. I promise, you do. You deserve so much more, and I think that's what scares me the most. I don't know if I can be everything you need me to be, but I know I want to try."

_Whoa, where did all that come from, Cullen? Nothing like putting it all out there._

She frowned again and shook her head, for a second I could have sworn I saw her eyes filling with tears but she pushed them back and took in a deep breath, "If I were to be entirely honest with myself, you're probably exactly what I need."

I had to wonder how much of this was the booze talking. She'd had her usually amount of at least half a bottle of vodka, but she wasn't slurring her speech, only taking longer than usual to form her sentences.

I had no idea though how much of this was her, and how much of it was her need for a distraction from what ever this specific date meant to her.

Fuck my inner conscious and its ability to ruin just about every waking moment.

"Bella?" I impulsively questioned, then cursed myself for it.

"Yes, Edward?"

"What was today?"

She stirred from beneath me, and slowly sat up, "It was Friday."

"Right, smart ass, I know it was Friday. But why was it significant for you? Why did your friends show up? Why did you think it would be a shitty day from the moment you woke up this morning?"

She looked away and shook her head closing her eyes almost instantly, "I don't want to talk about that. Please? Not tonight."

"Was it your parents? Something that happened between your grandfather?"

She shook her head again and fell backwards onto her back with a loud frustrated huff, "You were supposed to help me not think about this, it's not supposed to be the other way around."

"So tell me, get it over with, then we can get back to having fun?" I suggested rolled over onto my side to look down at her.

"No." There was heartache on her face, but I was going to push forward. It had to be done. "I'm not ready to talk about that. I just need you to hold me, can't you do that for me? Please?" she asked, a tremor obvious in her voice.

I released a loud sigh and nodded my head then pulled her back into me, "Whatever you need, Bella. Just know, whatever it is, it would never change my opinion of you." She smiled for a moment and shook her head then brought her lips to mine, kissing me deeply before she climbed herself back into my lap to straddle my body.

"You're honestly too good to be true, Edward Masen Cullen."

"Not really, you just seem to bring out the best in me."

"Well I hope you'll let me bring out more than your best," she whispered into my ear, her breath causing my entire body to quake after she made a grab for my erect cock with her opened palm between us. "Fuck, Edward, you're so fucking hard, please let me help you with that. I don't want you to hurt yourself, and I don't need to be poked in the back all night," she cooed, sending kisses down my neck and then my sternum, all the way to my navel between her words. "I want to suck your cock, Edward, is that okay?"

I almost chocked on my saliva, "Bella, nothing would make me happier."

"Oh, I think I could think of a few things that might make you happier, but all in due time. You just lay back and enjoy, because I'm hungry, and I've been craving your dick between my lips for far too fucking long." She growled before yanking my boxers down. I felt my smile raise itself instantly. I didn't even care that there was a 24-Hour camera rolling in the corner of our room. I knew this would have to be pixilated when it aired so I wasn't worried. Besides, Bella should be proud in the work she was doing because she was un-fucking-believable. I latched my hand to the back of her hair and began guiding her rhythm with every pull of my hand at the base of her dreads.

"Fuck, Bella. Your mouth, its unbelievable. I've missed this, so fucking much. You. Your mouth. Everything." I whispered between my grunts as her lips slid up and down my slicked shaft. Every once in a while her tongue would sweep across the tip of my cock, lapping up my escaped juices into her mouth with such precision I thought I would never feel my fucking feet again.

"That's good to hear, I was beginning to wonder."

"Wonder? About what?" I asked pausing for a moment to pull her hair back behind her shoulders.

"Whether or not… I was worth it? All the bullshit?" It was more of a question, than a statement, and her tone alone made me snap to for a moment.

"Bella, you are worth all of it. What ever it might be, I am thankful that I found you, that we met and that you're a part of my life now." I realized I wasn't making much sense but I didn't care. I just wanted her to know she mattered.

"Why do you have to be so fucking wonderful?" she asked before she brought her lips back to mine, grinding her clothed pussy further against my erect cock. "I need to feel more of you, all of you," she breathed, her hands already lifting her tee-shirt up and over her head to expose her bare breasts in front of me. "I want you to put your cock in me, and I want you to fuck me harder than you've ever fucked anyone before. I want you. No, I _need_ you to make me forget my name, Edward. Fuck me till I can't say a fucking word, please."

Her request took me be surprise at first, but all I needed was the touch of her hand to my dick and I instantly forgot all the nagging questions I had in the back of my head. Part of me wondered if this was a wise thing to do. To take things, all the way, when our foundation was still so fragile, but here she was, offering me everything. How was I supposed to walk away from that when it was the one thing I'd been dreaming about having since the very moment I'd set my eyes on her?

* * *

**A/N: And yes, I am going to leave you there. **

**What _should_ Edward do? What _will_ Edward do? How do we feel about Bella's relationship with Jake and Paul? Are they really there for Bella and Edward's best interest? Interesting right that Bella didn't bother introducing Aro to her friends. Wonder how itty bitty that made him feel. ;)**

**I'm going to do my best to get back on schedule with bi-weekly updates, so finger's crossed for that. Much love to my awesome beta clarabella! *heart***

***Please review because I like to smile and I like to send special thank you's!***


	15. Starving To Forget

******Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

******A/N: This chapter is rated M right off the bat- for its obvious citrus flavor... then it takes a nose dive into a bit of drama, ending with a cup'o'angst. *heavy sigh* Lot's of answers... hope you're ready.**

* * *

**Starving To Forget **

**Chapter 15**

**~~*EDWARD*~~**

Bella's eyes were staring deeply into mine from where she straddled my hips above me. After pulling the comforter up to cocoon us from the cameras, her right arm shot out to prop her body up over me while she shifted her position to pull her tiny boxer shorts down and away from her legs. There was almost nothing between us now and she was hovering her sexy landing strip right above my throbbing cock with a devious grin across her face. She bit at her lower lip, her eyes wild with hunger, and smiled down at me.

It was in that moment when I dismissed all responsible _do-the-right-thing-Cullen_ thinking.

"I hope you know, I've been dreaming about having you , like _this_, for quite a while," she whispered softly against my ear as she slowly lowered her body to rub her damp pussy against my twitching cock.

I closed my eyes, feeling her moistened middle slide itself across my sensitive skin and moaned on cue when she raised herself back up onto her knees away from me mockingly.

"Bella, fuck. I've been fantasizing about this since the very moment I saw you," I shared then ran my hand across her cheek to look her dead in the eyes while I rolled us over so I'd be the one hovering over her.

My eyes scanned her naked body, taking it all in. The sight of her caused my heart rate to accelerate with such speed I felt as though I'd been injected with several shots of adrenaline. "You are- so beautiful," I whispered, letting my fingertips travel past her lips then down her sternum with delicate ease. I ran my pointer digit across the cursive writing of the tattoo that lined the bottom of her left breast and scanned the words, reading them to myself in Italian as she trembled under my touch. Slowly, I continued my finger exploration past her belly button then reconnected my eyes with her blissful stare. I hadn't even made it past her slicked entrance, but she was already moaning in ecstasy, unable to look away from me. "So wet," I sighed, as if she didn't already know. She giggled and nodded her head with a shy grin on her face before her teeth bit back down on her bottom lip then reached up to tug on my hair with both of her hands. She pulled my face down to hers and brought her lips to mine with such fervor I was instantly forgetting to breathe, let alone take things slow. Oxygen was the last thing on my mind, and stopping was no longer an option. I was absolutely lost in our kiss, and this moment. In the passion we shared and the connection we were able to create when we were alone together.

Her hand pulsed the back of my neck while her other arm traveled across my back to run her fingernails sensually across my skin eliciting a kind of fire I'd never before felt possible. I moaned against her mouth and forced her legs further apart underneath me to run my fingertips against her trembling clit once more.

She moaned and shifted her weight further up the bed with one swift movement before I dipped my pointer and middle digits deep inside of her. She was so wet, I had to taste it. Swiftly I removed my hand from between her legs and brought it to my lips to savor her excitement. She grinned at the sight of my action and licked her own lips sensually. Just the smell of her was driving me absolutely wild. I could hardly wait to hear her screaming my name. That would be the sweetest sound to my ears. This was already fact.

"You make me want to do very bad things, Edward Masen Cullen. Very, _very_, bad things," she whispered then slowly brought her own fingertips to her mouth and carefully lowered them to her pussy to give it a quick but purposeful rub, all while looking at me and only me. She moaned again and rolled her hips in front of me, lifting her body up from the mattress to rub herself once again against my dick while her fingers strummed her pussy mercifully. "Please, for the love of all things holy, put your cock inside of me M&M. _Right. Now._"

I knew this wasn't the wisest decision, but seriously, now was not the time to start thinking wisely. Not when I had this gorgeous creature begging me to take her with everything I had inside of me. What man could ever turn this down?

She reached out to take my dick in her hand and gently guided me further between her legs so that my tip was now resting against the softness of her slightly parted, very wet opening.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I had to ask. I needed her tell me, even though I already knew what her answer would be, I needed one last confirmation.

"More than anything, Edward- it's what I _need_." She replied just above a whisper, and slowly ran her fingernails across my chest, still staring directly into my eyes.

"I should put a condom on." I hated to interrupt the moment, but it had to be done.

"It's okay. I won't get pregnant, and I don't have anything you can catch from me. I'm super paranoid about that stuff, and get tested religiously. Promise," she informed me looking absolutely desperate for me to finally take her body.

"You're on the pill?"

"Um, yeah, something like that. But you're clean, too, right?"

"Of course! Jeez!" I yelped with a roll of my eyes then snaked my arm underneath her hips to tilt her pelvis up in front of me. I wasn't going to ask anymore questions. She'd answered the most important ones already.

Carefully, I moved myself forward and held my dick at its base, watching with hunger as my cocks needs and wants began to take over her body. I pushed myself into her feeling the warmth and softness of her insides hugging the most sensitive part of my body with both ease and pure lust. She shifted herself into me more forcefully and let out a yelp of pleasure when I ran my fingers across her nipple to give it a firm pinch.

Being inside of her was like dropping in on a half pipe for the very first time. It was both electrifying and terrifying because after this I knew I would have a new obsession.

_Nice, Cullen, comparing sex to skateboarding. Really?_

"Fuck me like you mean it, Edward!" she desperately yelped from under me after grasping the back of my neck with her hand. I growled feverishly at the sound of her challenge and swiftly lifted her right leg up over my shoulder before extending both my arms to prop myself above her, all while I continued to move my throbbing cock in and out of her with as much force as I could fathom. I wanted her to feel every inch of me, and to remember _our_ night with every step she'd take tomorrow morning.

"Harder!" she called out tugging my head back with a pull of her hand lost in my hair. I moved with as much speed as my body would allow without purposely hurting her and she continued to call out expletives while I brought her closer and closer to losing it all. "So good. You-are-so-fuck-ing-good. Wait, Edward, wait slow down! I- I don't want to cum ye-yet."

"Go ahead and cum baby, I can get you through at least one more round," I promised her, then carefully leaned myself down to take her bottom lip between my teeth. I pulled at her pout playfully and opened my mouth to take her lips against mine more sensually with every move of my hips. She moaned, loving it, and pushed herself further against me creating a quake of movement from her entire body shortly after I began messaging her clit with my fingertips while I continued to rock myself in and out of her pussy's playground.

Seconds later she was coming loudly beneath me, with her fingernails digging into the swells of my lower back, and her breathing ridiculously erratic. I groaned watching her satisfied expression while she continued to tremble over my every move. Once her breathing settled, I slowly pulled myself out of her to switch positions so I'd be able to have her on top of me. She was still trying to catch her breath but nodded her head, instantly agreeing to the changed position. Our eyes remained locked as she lowered herself over my erect cock, bringing me back inside of her and sending a wild moan through my own lips.

"Christ, Bella, you feel so fucking good. You're so wet- so goddamn wet…"

"And it's all your doing. _You_ did this to me, Edward. You, and your masterful cock," she replied, still looking me directly in the eyes while tugging on my hair. I watched with pleasure taking over my body as she began rocking herself over my hips with fluid like motion. "You fucked me, now it's my turn to fuck you. I want you to lay back and let me do all the work," she whispered into my ear after leaning down to bring my ear lobe between her teeth playfully.

"Show me what you've got, Rock Star," I challenged, sliding my hands under her perfect ass to help guide it up and down over my shaft after feeling her body tighten with the movement she was creating. She extended her right arm out to press her self against my chest while her left arm reached up to pull on her own hair in pure ecstasy. I couldn't take my eyes off of her while she continued to raise and then lower herself over me, adding small circular motions with her hips with every other pulse her body made. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Thankfully I could tell she was already nearing her second release. "I want you to cum with me, Bella," I requested, though, it sounded more like a demand and for that very reason she loved it.

"Well, hurry because I'm fucking coming, Edward! So hard. Jesus-fuck! Un-believable-fuck!" She squealed at the top of her lungs at the same moment I began pouring myself inside of her. I grasped her hips with my hands and pushed myself further into her with my dick still pulsing between her legs, feeling her body quake over me one last time.

"That was-"

"Seriously _good_," she finished for me with a light laugh then collapsed on top of my chest with her hands still latched on to my hair. "Shit, Edward. That was... Unreal. You're amazing. I knew you would be a phenomenal fuck, but that surpassed anything and everything I've ever experienced."

I laughed at her statement and cleared my throat before thanking her for her approval.

"You were pretty phenomenal yourself. Surpassed all my expectations as well, Rock Star. I can honestly say, I can't wait for another round," I informed her just as the chirp in the hallway announced some of our housemates had arrived home. "Shit," I groaned then lifted her up off of me so she could run herself into the bathroom with a pillow covering both her front and back side as she tip-toed across the room giggling with total satisfaction.

I smiled to myself and collapsed backwards onto the bed after pulling my boxers back on from under the blanket then quickly readjusted it over my body. I laid there in the dark trying to steady my breathing while the memory of being inside Bella taunted me, making me crave her return that much more.

In any other circumstance, the moment she came out of the bathroom I would have taken her again, but now the rest of the house was back, so we'd have to wait for another stolen moment before we'd be able to shut the out world around us again.

Being with Bella, in that way, it had changed everything for me. It had proven to me that our connection was beyond that of a normal hook up buddy, and I knew she had to have felt it, too. There was a moment when she looked into my eyes- I could see it. She believed it with all her heart, but it scared her to death. I saw that as well, but she was just as sure of it as I was, and in that moment I felt absolute euphoria. I felt more than I had ever felt in my entire life for another human being. I was in deeper than I ever thought possible, but I didn't care because I knew in time she would see just how real this was and in time it would all be worth it.

She couldn't run from the truth forever, and I'd definitely seen the truth in her eyes tonight.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with Bella's head against my chest and my arm draped over her clothed body holding her to me, and not ever wanting to let go. She stirred the moment I rustled beneath her, and I immediately felt bad for having disturbed her.

"Ugh- what time is it?" she questioned, running her hand down my waist and across my thigh. I choked back an embarrassing laugh, brought on by her touch, and told her it was almost eight.

Bella in the morning was like watching the most perfect sunrise every single day.

_Good grief, what the fuck are you talking about Cullen. Enough with the pansy shit. Pull yourself together. Focus._

"Crap, Alice is probably standing by the door downstairs waiting for us to help load the van," she giggled lightly, with her eyes still closed, and her lips smiling.

"_Actually_ I'm standing by the door of your bedroom and _everyone_ is by the door downstairs waiting for you to simply load yourselves into the van since we've already packed everything else."

"Oh my God! Alice! How was the date?" Bella asked, springing to life almost instantaneously over the sound of our housemate's voice. She laughed at Bella's burst of excitement and shook her head seemingly embarrassed.

"It was fun, now get up and get dressed, and meet us downstairs!"

"Yeah yeah! I want more details woman! You and me are taking a walk later today, Little A! Got that?" Bella replied back, then tossed one of the pillows from our shared bed towards our roommate's direction. Alice caught it with a soft grunt, then rolled her eyes in response to Bella's demand.

"Oh, and Jake and Paul are already here. Your phone was ringing like crazy so Tanya answered it, and talked to them, then invited them to come camping with us. Hopefully, that's what you wanted," Alice carefully informed Bella while watching her expression.

"Oh, yeah. Totally. That's perfect. Crap, okay, getting up." Bella stuttered, pulling her dreads up into a loose pony tail at the top of her head before rolling out from under the blanket we were both sharing. She quickly turned around after taking two steps away from me, then returned to the bed to lean down and plant two quick kisses to my lips before skipping towards her dresser to fetch a change of clothes.

After she went into the bathroom, Alice continued to stand in the doorway silently watching me while I threw a pair of shorts, a tee-shirt, some boxers and my swim suit into a duffle bag on top of the dresser.

"Um, is there something I can help you with, Ms. Alice?" I finally asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable crickets.

She cleared her throat then released a long winded breath before crossing her arms in front of her. "Did you guys, um, well, everyone's saying you… Tanya said something about it smelling like sex in here when she got home last night… it's none of our business but, well… did you?"

Jasper was looming behind her with his camera catching everything so I decided to stay cryptic over the matter for the time being.

"Alice, I love you dearly, but you're right, it's none of your business. What happens between Bella and I, I'd like to keep between Bella and I. Those aren't moments we have to share with anyone else."

"Well, yeah but," she stated with a slight smirk then pointed to the installed camera in the corner of the room.

I had to laugh over her gesture, "We took that into consideration, and compensated when we needed to. No worries," I assured her with a grin.

"I just… I hope she- I hope it doesn't change anything. She likes to think I'm the fragile one in the house, but I think we all know deep down she's the one who could easily break. You need to be careful with her, and I'm just worried because you guys seemed to be doing really well again. I'd hate to see her take three steps back."

I was surprised by Alice's declaration, but reluctantly, I had to agree with her. I needed to treat the next twenty-four hours very delicately. I needed to read Bella's every move so I could decide what my own next step should be.

Just because I was ready to admit there was something more happening between us, I knew she was far from comfortable in admitting such a thing was actually possible. Bella and I had connected in ways I never thought possible, though. This was fact. My only regret was that our first moments would ultimately be shared with the rest of the world eventually, and a part of me hated myself for allowing that to happen.

This was the adventure we'd both signed up for, though.

And that was the moment when I realized; if we could survive this show, we could survive just about anything.

When I'd signed up for this social experiment I'd hoped I might somehow meet a girl who could bring me back to life again. Someone who could teach me to open my heart and actually look forward to the future. I never expected it to be this easy, but I never expected it to be this hard either.

* * *

It was a quiet ride to the campground. Bella had taken the back row, sitting between Paul and Jake, and I'd taken the row in front of them with Tanya and Alice. I could hear them talking quietly, but my mind was too busy trying to think straight and make sense of everything. I knew I couldn't let last night change anything; if I let it change anything, Bella would run and there was no way in hell I could let that happen. Not again.

_Do you talk about what happened? Do you leave it alone? Do you act like it never happened at all? Did she regret it? Fuck, did she even remember it? I had a million thoughts racing through my mind._

She'd passed out fairly quickly when she'd returned to bed last night after visiting the bathroom and because of everyone waiting for us this morning we hadn't gotten a chance to really talk about anything. Like, at all.

She had given me those sweet kisses though, those had to count for something. Right?

I could feel her eyes on me while we set up camp. She was stealing glances, and it was hard to hide my smile. Every time our eyes would meet, though, she'd immediately look away and start to talk to who ever was around, aside from me. Sometimes she would do it with a bashful grin, and sometimes with no expression at all. Every time though it would make my craving for her grow that much stronger.

Shortly after arriving I watched her walk down to the river bank with Jake, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jacket with her hoodie up over her head, looking down at the ground while they traced the shoreline together talking, and Jake skipped rocks. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her for longer than a few minutes at a time. Like I said, I'm a masochistic fuck when it comes to this kind of bullshit. As long as I could see she was physically okay, I was okay.

"Edward, go find us some wood for a fire, would ya?" James asked from where he was kneeling at the ground, hammering the last tent spike into the ground. I had a feeling this was his way of serving me up a distraction.

"Yeah sure," I answered, then turned to head in the opposite direction from Bella and her BFF.

"I'll come with you, wait up, Edward!" I stopped with a sigh, then turned to watch Paul jog my way with a stupid grin on his face.

_Just. Awesome._

"I saw a couple of fallen trees over here when we drove in," he told me, then gestured with his hand towards a section of the forest about a couple of hundred feet away from everyone else. I already knew what he was doing. He had every intention of interrogating me. He'd made it clear last night that I would be tested, and as annoying as that was, I was determined to pass with flying fucking colors.

"So how'd _cuddle_ time go?"

I stopped walking for a second and turned to look at Bella's friend with annoyance clearly on my face. "Seriously?"

"I suffer from passive aggressive bluntness. Sorry. Let me rephrase the question, Did you enjoy finally fucking Bella last night with your cock, Edward? Was she everything you'd hoped she would be? This is, of course, a rhetorical question, so I don't really expect an answer from you. I already know the answers. Like I said she's a fucking twenty, bro." He grinned and laughed to himself lightly. I knew he was waiting for my reaction. I was obviously trying to decide whether I should punch him in the face, sucker punch him in the gut, or simply drop kick his ass to the ground.

All I could do was glare back at him, though, feeling my fists ball themselves at my sides while his questions sunk in. I knew I couldn't let him get to me though or I would seriously lose my temper and have to punch something, so I turned myself around and continued walking ahead of him, hoping he'd take the hint and change the subject.

"Oh, come on. Sorry. I'm just busting your balls. This is new for me. Talking to someone about Bella who we haven't known all our lives. I mean this is totally out of character for her. She usually doesn't let many outsiders in the way she's let you in, Edward, and when she does she usually doesn't introduce them to us. I'm sure she's told you all that."

"I know all about your relationship- about the relationship she has with all of you," I told him through clenched teeth, now wanting more than ever to shut him up by bringing my fist to his mouth.

"Wow, well good. I didn't know she told you everything. That will make this conversation much easier then."

_She's told me more than you know, dip shit._

"Alright, well. I'm going to give you some advice, and you need to just trust me on it. You should give her some space today. Yesterday was hard on her, but today is going to be even worse. You giving in to her last night, that was good. Otherwise, she would have fucked one of us, and I'm going to be straight with you, I wouldn't turn her down if she offered herself up. Having Bella is like having the universe in your hands, but you already know that."

I seriously could not believe this guy. What I hated the most, though, was that I knew everything he was saying was true.

"Look, I can tell she likes you. She likes you a lot. Pairing that, though, with all the bullshit she's running from- she thinks she can handle it, but unfortunately Bella's proven to us time and time again that she's not as strong as she'd like people to think she is. She's going to do her best to push anything real or meaningful away. It's what she does, and she does it very well."

"So basically you're telling me to leave her alone and stay away today? Am I supposed to believe this isn't so your boy can have more one on one time with her? It's obvious he's in love with her. Don't try to bullshit me, Paul. He wears his fucking heart on his sleeve when he's around her."

"You're right about Jake, but she needs to be with him today. They need to talk. Just trust me about that, okay?" he replied placing his hand over my shoulder to give it a firm squeeze. "She'll come back to you, I promise. If Bella felt the same way about Jake she would have married him a long time ago." I eyed him suspiciously and shrugged his hand off of me.

"I know how to handle Bella. Thanks for the heads up, though," I mumbled, then briskly turned myself around to leave him behind. The mental image of Bella in a wedding dress standing beside her best friend at an alter had brought me to my limit so I did the only thing I could do without getting myself in trouble. I walked away feeling overly grateful for having attended those Anger Management classes last year. At least this time they were paying off.

* * *

The afternoon had slowly passed by with Bella behaving exactly how Paul said she would. She was glued to Jake's side throughout most of the day. Holding his hand, leaning her head on his shoulder, sharing quiet conversations away from the rest of us. Only once did she leave him to take a short walk with Alice, but the moment they returned she was back beside her best friend with a noticeable broken expression on her face.

Paul and Tanya had easily connected during our day of hiking and tubing in the freezing river water, and because of that they'd disappeared together shortly after the sun went down. The rest of us were sitting around the camp fire listening to Bella and Jake argue over the chords to a Bob Marley song on her guitar, all while Jasper hovered behind them catching their exchange on film. Throughout the day, I slowly felt as though she were pulling herself further and further away from me and it was seriously starting to drive me insane.

Alice's worried looks were not helping the situation either.

Only when Bella started to drink did she finally come over to take a seat beside me. Even then, she'd waited till everyone else had broken off to make their way to the picnic table to fix their plates. James had cooked a ridiculous amount of burgers and hotdogs on a grill over the fire pit. Food was the last thing on my mind though.

"Hey," she whispered, bumping me with her shoulder.

"How's it going, _Rock Star_?" I got out after a few seconds of carefully considering my response. I was on the verge of straight up asking her what the deal was, but thought better of it when her eyes finally looked up into mine. I could see the stress on her face, and it instantly softened my reaction.

"It's going. Are you enjoying the great outdoors?"

"As much as I can. Not going to lie, though, I've been pretty damn bored since we got back from the river. I totally should have brought my skateboard. The parking lot's not that far away, and I saw some pretty sweet rails leading down towards a trail over there," I admitted, trying to make small talk in hopes of saving us both from any awkward silences. I knew those were her own worst enemy, and I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible while she sat beside me.

"Yeah, who would have thought a skateboard could be appropriate for a camping trip," she teased, laughing lightly to herself before turning her head to quietly scan the area again.

"So are you sure everything's okay? Paul told me not to push, but I'm going to ask at least once. You can tell me to mind my own business. It won't hurt my feelings. But I would be pissed at myself if I didn't ask at least once."

She sighed and slowly nodded her head, looking down at her hands while she wrung them in front of her nervously. "I'm fine. Just my past catching up with me again. It will pass though. I'll be okay tomorrow."

I couldn't help but wonder if she was talking about us sleeping together or something else, when it came to whatever was distressing her. I knew she was never really 'fine' though, so her statement only made me worry more. "Can I just ask one more thing, and then I promise, I'll leave it alone."

"I think I know what you're going to ask me, and the answer is, no. I don't regret last night. It was exactly what I needed, and I was completely alert when I made my decision. Stop stressing about it. This is my own baggage. I thought having Jake here would make it easier, and in some ways it has, but truthfully, it's really only made it that much more difficult," she cryptically shared just below her breath while she watched him fix his plate across the burning fire.

"Do you want to go some place and talk?" I offered, feeling her tense up almost instantly over my suggestion.

"No. I'm fine. Couple of more shots and I'll be good as new. Girl-scouts honor," she teased me with a random wink and slight smirk across her lips. I smiled in return and nodded my head, appreciating that she'd at least given me that much. She'd answered the important questions. She wasn't mad at herself or me for letting things go as far as they did last night. That's all I needed to hear. Now I'd be able to relax a little bit while I plotted my next move.

* * *

A few hours had past and things were really starting to liven up around our little circle, thanks to the amount of alcohol that was being ingested by everyone. Even Bella was laughing and joking when Paul and Tanya finally returned from their private hike looking exhausted and freshly fucked.

"Nice to have you guys back! We were about to call the forest ranger," Bella teased giving Paul an obvious wink and a thumbs up. Tanya looked a bit embarrassed but at the same time very proud of herself as she linked her arm through Bella's friend's to take a seat next to him by the fire.

"Did we miss anything?" Paul asked the group before stuffing his face with a cold, bun-less hot dog.

"Jesus, Paul, stop eating like a rabid dog, and get a freaking plate! Disgusting," Bella scolded him then stood up to toss him the roll of paper towels from the picnic bench.

"Listen you, it's my animalistic instincts that you love, so don't try to change me now! Do unto others, Dreadilocks, remember?" he hollered, defending himself with a hidden grin just before she stuck her tongue out at him in response. "While were on the subject though, did _you_ eat Bella?" he randomly questioned with his eyebrow raised suspiciously. Everyone froze, and quieted down almost instantly. Bella narrowed her eyes at him and slowly nodded her head, affirming that she had indeed put something into her stomach.

She had eaten. Not much, but at least half a veggie dog and a few chips. She was more wrapped up in her drinking to really worry about actual food though this evening.

"I ate, asshole. Thanks, though. Really," she mumbled, then stood up to leave the group, swiftly making her way towards the river without saying anything else to anyone in our circle.

"Awesome, Paul. Nice job. You couldn't wait till tomorrow for this?" Jake snickered before running off after her as soon as he'd shot his friend the middle finger.

I found it a little annoying that Paul was allowed to push her, but when it came to me, I was supposed to keep my distance today. The hypocrisy had me fuming. I mean seriously, what the fuck was that?

"So what's the deal with Bella's eating habits, Paul?" Rose instantly asked without missing a beat from where she sat in Emmett's lap. "I only ask because if it's something serious, we should know so we can start keeping an eye on it."

"Right, Rose, I'm sure that's why you're asking. I think we all know you've already been keeping an eye on it, and no doubt keeping a journal about it, too," I called out, feeling even more annoyed.

Paul shifted his weight from where he sat and cleared his throat, sounding a little regretful in having just put Bella on the spot in front of everyone. It was obvious that he was feeling incredibly shitty over his outburst so because of that, I was able to bring my own anger down a notch.

"I shouldn't have done that. I don't know why I said that. Fuck. She's going to be so pissed at me," he mumbled while running his hand through his hair feverishly, avoiding all our eyes.

"No, it's good you did. We've all been noticing, not just Rose. It can't be healthy. She lives on alcohol with an occasional half meal, that's definitely not normal. If you guys came out here to check up on her, you should know what's been going on," Tanya replied, adding her own two cents.

"I don't think this is something we need to be talking about right now," I finally spoke up, glancing towards Jasper who looked to be battling with himself on whether or not he should be catching this discussion on film. "If Paul wants to know what's been going on, he should talk to Bella. Not us. End of story."

"Edward's right. I should go apologize to her. Let's do our best to pretend I never said anything at all. I'm just not used to hanging out with people who are virtual strangers. I can't help but already think of you guys as part of the crew, since Bella's accepted you, I mean… I'm used to ribbing her in front of everyone. Anyways, I'll be back and I expect some kind of a drinking game to be going on when we return!" he told us, then quickly ran off after Bella and Jake.

Once he was gone, everyone remained silent, staring at the burning flames in the fire pit rising and falling between us. No one knew what to say, and I was actually grateful for the silence.

"Seriously guys, not a word when she gets back. I mean it," James firmly told us then tossed me a beer from across the flames with an acknowledging nod of his head. No one needed to answer him, it was understood that it wouldn't be brought up again tonight.

At least not without consequence.

* * *

**~~*Bella*~~**

I didn't understand why I felt so betrayed by Paul, but I did. I literally wanted to punch him in the face several times, so I had no choice but to remove myself from the entire situation.

It was the way he'd always worked, though. He puts you on the spot, calls you out on your shit, and shuts you up. It was one of the things I loved about him except for when I was on the other end of it. He'd crossed the line, and I knew he was feeling like a complete asshole now because of it.

_Good, serves him right._

It was fucked up and he knew it. He had no right to question me in front of my housemates. Not like that. Not when I had finally loosened up and found a way to relax and have a good time again.

"Bella! Wait up!" Jake called after me. I stopped for a moment, till I could feel him directly behind me, then began walking further towards the pathway we'd found beside the base of the river earlier in the day. "Where are you going?" he questioned grabbing me by the arm to slow me down.

"Away from _that_ awkwardness. He knows better than to bring that up in front of everyone. Especially today!" I shouted, stomping my feet underneath me like a two year old having a temper tantrum.

I refused to cry, not over this. I'd done enough crying, enough self loathing to last me a lifetime when it came to my inability to take care of myself both physically and mentally.

"Come here," Jake replied, just above a whisper then swiftly pulled me in against him by wrapping his arms safely around me. "You knew it was coming, he just had really poor timing, but you knew we would all have to talk about this while we were here. It's one of the main reasons why we came Bella," he insisted, pulling me further against him. I closed my eyes, resting my head against his shoulder and took in a deep breath. I wasn't ready to talk about this again. Not with him or anyone else. "It's obvious you haven't been keeping your promise. Dr. Banner is not going to be happy with our report when we get back."

"Then don't tell him. I haven't lost that much. Really, I have it under control."

"Don't lie to me, Bella. I know you better than that. You haven't worn a single pair of pants since we've been here, and I'm sure that's because none of them fit you anymore. You worked so hard to turn it all around, you were doing so good. I thought we were past all of this. What's going on? You have to talk to me."

I slowly looked away unable to meet his eyes, and shook my head in defiance.

"Bella, I won't let you shut me out again. We need to discuss why you've started to regress. I flew out here for a reason. You can talk to me. I know what this is about, but if you don't let it out, it's never going to get any easier, let alone better._ Please_ just talk to me."

"Why is it so hard to understand that I can't talk about it! Not anymore. I did enough talking during the month I was in that God awful clinic. You and I… we did enough talking every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon with Banner," I scoffed pushing myself away from him with as much force as I could fathom. "There's nothing _left_ to talk about. All you guys have done since it happened is judge me, you put me under a microscope and kept data on my every move. Why do you think I had to get away? Do you know what it's like to live everyday with people looking over your shoulder and whispering when before that one awful event no one ever even gave a damn? I couldn't take it anymore, Jake!"

"So you thought signing up for a reality show was a good idea? You're on fucking camera, Bella, your shit is going to be broadcast all over the country in a few weeks! You have all the money in the world, you could have backpacked Europe for a year, disappeared completely to leave us behind. Instead you chose to come _here_ and do _this_. You chose to have your life taped because you were running from having your friends, who love you, help take care of you? No. That's a lie, and you know it. I mean, sure, it probably had something to do with it, but that's not why you're here. You came here because you wanted to prove something to your grandfather. You can't keep this up forever, Bella, and the more you act out the more he's going to push you away. I'm not going anywhere, none of us are, no matter how much you try to act like none of it matters, we're still going to be here tomorrow and the day after that. We're always going to be a thorn in your ass because we love you and we care about you. You needed me here this weekend. I knew that, so I came. I'm here and if we don't think you're okay, then we're not going to leave you behind. It's as simple as that," he told me forcefully. I could tell I was frustrating him, but I didn't care. He was being ridiculous and completely unfair. They weren't supposed to put me on the spot like this, not today. That was the bottom line here. This had nothing to do with my grandfather. I refused to entertain that blinded suggestion for even a second.

"Thank you, Jacob. Thank you for coming here, and ruining what could have been a nice, distracting weekend. You're right, I did need you, but not like this."

"That's not fair, Bella. You know we only care about you. For years we let you call all the shots, but we almost lost you once, and we can't let that happen again. I won't stand by and watch you self-destruct all over again. I just WON'T dammit!"

"Oh, stop it! You didn't almost lose me. I was fine- I AM fine! It was just too much. I wasn't ready to be a, a-" I paused, unable to find the right words because they all seemed foreign to me in that moment. "It was never meant to be, it wasn't supposed to happen. Nature… fait… what ever you want to call it… it corrected itself, and as much as you don't want to accept it or believe it, I've moved on with my life."

"Bella, it wasn't nature, and it's fucked up for you to think it was fait. You need to accept what happened and why it happened once and for all, or you'll never be able to truly move on. It's okay to say it out loud. It doesn't make you a bad person. I would never ever think less of you, but until you admit it, and accept it, how can you ever get better? You are stuck in this cycle and it's killing me to watch it all start to happen again. Especially when I'm so far away." he whispered, taking another step towards me with a heart breaking expression once again on his face.

"It doesn't matter. I know you blame me. I've always known, I just thought you knew better than to actually throw it in my face. Tell everyone else I'll be back in a little while. I just need to be alone, Jake. You coming this weekend was a mistake. I thought it would help, but it's obviously only made things worse," I some how got out between my hiccuped sobs.

I didn't wait for his reply; I simply turned my body away from his and followed the path till the tears in my eyes made it impossible for me to continue forward. I scanned my surroundings and decided to take a seat on a giant boulder that extended out above the flowing water of the river, while I tried desperately to get my thoughts, and my crying, under control. The problem was, the more I thought about everything, the more I cried. It didn't take me long to realize this was the first time I'd ever let myself just feel everything all at once. This was part of the process, the step Dr. Banner told me would come. It would only figure that it would finally arrive today of all days.

* * *

I wasn't sure how much time had past, but I'd finally managed to calm myself down after three, okay four, cigarettes. The sound of someone softly clearing their throat from behind me forced me to spin around so fast from the top of the boulder that I almost fell backwards into the water below. I wiped the stale tears from my face, then forced a smile after my eyes met Edward's.

This crying bullshit was really starting to get old.

"Hey," he whispered, taking a step out from under the trees to place his foot on top of the large rock I was still sitting on.

"Hi. Sorry, I was getting ready to come back. I know I've been gone for awhile. I didn't mean to worry anyone," I told him, looking back down at the water below my feet, "I just needed some alone time."

"It's okay. Everyone's gone to bed. So there's no rush now. I wasn't about to go to sleep, though. Not till I knew you were okay."

"I'm alright. Everything's just come crashing down all at once, but I've been here before. I'll get through it. I guess I'm the talk of the house now, huh? I'm sure Paul pulled out all my skeletons in hopes of gathering enough information to force me to go back home with him and Jake tomorrow."

"First, no one can force you to go anywhere, Bella, you're an adult. And second, no. After it happened Paul felt like shit and asked us to forget he said anything, then James made sure everyone understood it wasn't to be brought up again. When you're ready to talk to us about it, you'll talk to us. It's that simple," he told me, while making his way closer to the boulder's edge to take a seat beside me. "It's ok if I sit?"

"Of course. I owe you an apology, too. I've been distant ever since this morning. You should know it wasn't anything you did. I swear it. I just needed some time to process everything. Last night was… a little scary. I'm not going to lie."

"I don't want you to feel scared when you're with me, Bella. Me, personally, I was afraid it was a bad decision, to take things that far, but I let my other head do all the thinking for me. I can't say I didn't enjoy myself though."

I laughed at his joke and shook my head, smiling for a brief second.

"It's not really you I'm afraid of, you know that. It's what you make me feel. But we've had this conversation before so there's really no use in rehashing everything. It happened. It was amazing. Hopefully, we'll get a chance to do it again before our time in Charleston is over," I quickly replied, bumping his shoulder with my own.

He looked a little beaten up over my statement. The only reason I could come up with for that, was my usage of the word 'hopefully'. That and the fact that I'd stated eventually our time here would pass, meaning we'd have to go our separate ways sooner or later. Because of that, there was really no point in making things actually mean… _something_. They couldn't mean anything because I'd already given him everything I had to offer last night when I'd fucked him senseless. Beyond the mind blowing sex, I was damaged goods and very much replaceable. He'd realize that sooner or later, and that's why it was important to keep his affection at an arm's length now.

_It was just sex. End of story. _

"I could tell you needed some space today. Hopefully it earned me a few points I'll be able to cash in at a later time," he teased before pulling me in under his arm to hold me against him. "I just need to know you're okay, and that it had nothing to do with anything I did."

"No! Of course not. Like I said, you were… _amazing_. Like, beyond amazing. There's no word to describe what last night was. I don't even want to try and give it a word because it's seriously impossible." I could feel him smiling above me, and it only made me relax that much more.

He was the perfect kind of medicine for all my bullshit, but I could never say that out loud. He would make it out to mean much more than it actually did. As much as I hated it, though, I knew I had to be honest with him.

"So, about what Paul said, and what Rose has suggested, and Tanya… and Emmett at times… hell I'm just going to be honest… I'm not stupid I know they've all been whispering about it since our second week here," I began to offer up.

"If you're not ready, you don't have to tell me anything, Bella. I mean that," he told me just above a careful whisper that made a fresh tear fall down my cheek. I brushed it away and straightened myself up beside him, folding my hands in my lap.

"Twenty-six weeks ago I kind of… well, I wasn't taking care of myself the way I should have been."

"This is about your eating habits?"

"Yes. Mostly. I've always had _issues_ with controlling my diet. I've never been over weight, but you can blame my fabulous step grandmother for always making me feel like I could always be, _better_. We used to pop diet pills like candy together, it was our daily bonding moment whenever I'd come to stay with them. Though even when I left their house I still took those stupid pills with me. I don't anymore, not since the beginning of the year. I just chose to tweak my calorie intake instead, and started working out a little whenever I might cheat. Well, that and have lots of sex to keep my metabolism going. Anyways, my shrink says it's a control thing for me. That I can't control the world so I like to control the things I can, like what and when I eat, that kind of stuff."

"And by sleeping with buddies and not involving yourself in relationships that might force you to let go for once, allowing fate to actually take its course. I get it, thats a scary thing."

"A-ha you're catching on already. Another gold star, M&M!" I teased, then found a frown on my face again a few seconds later. "Anyways I over did it one day and collapsed one night at Jake's birthday party when I was walking down some stairs. I'd been running around all day trying to get things ready, decorating, and baking. All that bullshit. I'd just forgotten to eat, but I'd already had a low calorie diet the day before, and I hadn't been drinking enough water, so together it was a bad combination. After I'd fainted, I was unresponsive for a few minutes, when I came to my friends had already begun to panic… and then something happened that forced me to go to the town's hospital. Two days later I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and forced to stay at a inpatient clinic for thirty days."

"Wow, Bella. I don't know what to say. I mean you're thin but I'd never have guessed you had a serious problem."

"Yeah, well…It happened six and a half months ago. Right before I sent in my audition tape for the show. When I was at the clinic I managed to tack on a _healthy_ ten pounds. Just so they would let me go home though. I never intended on keeping that weight on. It was five pounds too much so that's what I've done. I lost five, and kept five. To me, it's been a good compromise. Anyways, I needed to get away after everything that had happened. I felt like every time I entered a room people were whispering about me, or watching my every move. I couldn't stand it so I saw the ad for the show online one night and thought, what the hell? What better way to get away from everything and everyone I'd known my entire life?"

"That's some heavy shit. How are you doing now, though? I don't want to put you on the spot, but I have to say, if you continue eating the way you do, you're going to end up losing all that weight again. I know you don't want to hear this, but I care about you, I don't want to see you hurt yourself, Bella."

"There's more, Edward." My voice quivered with my words but I carefully continued, knowing if I thought about it for too long I'd inevitably chicken out. "I'll totally understand if after I share this with you, you decide I'm toxic and want nothing to do with me anymore."

"I'd never _think_ or _want_ that," he assured me, but he still hadn't heard the rest of my story so his words truthfully meant nothing to me.

"When I passed out, at Jakes party, I was fourteen weeks pregnant," I finally got out in one swift breath then looked away feeling a fresh wave of sadness wash over me after hearing those words leave my lips. I was laying it all out there. Letting him see all the ugly there was to see and feeling incredibly terrified over how he might react.

Even though I didn't want to care, I cared. There was a part of me that wouldn't let me believe his opinions meant nothing. As much as I wanted to deny it, deep down I knew they mattered very much.

"I'm sorry, what?" he sounded absolutely stunned. I was already regretting my decision to tell him, but there was no taking it back now so I took a deep breath and continued.

"I was just into my second trimester, and had just started to show that week. It was hard…. getting used to that. Everything felt so... out of control. I couldn't accept the fact that I was going to be a mother when I'd never had a mother of my own to learn from. I didn't think I could do it, so for the first few weeks I ignored it all together and continued to live my life as though nothing had changed at all. With time, though, and with my friends, I stopped the pity party and tried to turn myself around. It wasn't as easy as I'd thought it would be, and unfortunately because of that, I was still too selfish, and just… careless." I shifted in my seat and reached into my back pocket to take the photo I'd carried with me almost everywhere since the day I'd collapsed on Jacob's living room floor. It was the last ultrasound photo I'd ever received. The last picture ever taken of my baby that I would never meet. Visual proof of what a colossal fuck up I was.

He took it from me and stared down at the black and white image with disbelief clearly on his face. I couldn't help it, I had to laugh at his bewildered expression. It was twisted but seemed completely acceptable for some reason. "So, yeah, the reason this weekend was so rough for me… Yesterday was my due date. If I hadn't been such a selfish screw up I would have been a mother today."

"Bella, I'm- I'm so sorry. You, Christ you've been through so much bullshit... I'm serious, the fact that you're still functioning at all... its a miracle."

I looked away feeling the tears begin to swell up in my eyes again, blurring my surroundings and clouding my thoughts. I knew I had to keep going though.

"When I passed out, I fell forward, landing on my stomach at the bottom of the stairs. I knew something was very wrong as soon as I'd come to, but I didn't want to scare anyone so I pretended I was fine. I wanted to believe I was fine. If they took me to the hospital I knew what they would say so I thought as long as I didn't go I could avoid the truth. I fought with them the entire way there, but inevitably, when they saw that I was bleeding, they won." I paused to close my eyes, wishing I could stop the visions that were currently taking over my memory, "It was an awful experience. The examination, the picture on the ultrasound screen of my unmoving baby, the procedure to remove it's lifeless body from me. I still have nightmares about it."

"That's what you're dreaming about?" Edward whispered, more to himself than to me.

"More often than not," I replied, nodding my head slowly two times. "After the doctor diagnosed me with an eating disorder, I agreed to go to a inpatient clinic a few towns over. It was actually kind of cool, I met a pretty famous movie star while I was there, but I had to sign a confidentiality agreement saying I'd never tell anyone about that so... yeah-" I smiled, then brought my index finger to my lips signaling that was a hush hush secret. "After the second week, though, I was ready to go home. The guys, of course, insisted that I stay. Jake and I had to go to counseling sessions twice a week with each other while I was there so he lived out of a hotel by the clinic during that time," I told him with a quiet sigh, then waited for the question I knew would come next.

"Wait, why Jake? I thought you said Sam was like the papa bear of your little clan."

And there it was.

I took a deep breath and grabbed at my dreads to tie them up into a tight bundle at the top of my head. It was chilly out, but I was definitely starting to feel a little warm thanks to our uncomfortable conversation. I began rocking in my seat, hugging my knees to my body then closed my eyes again, taking in another deep breath before slowly exhaling.

"Because, Edward. Jake was my baby's father."

* * *

**A/N: First... I think I deserve a cupcake for not making this a total cliffy ending because I so could have left you guys hanging for 2 weeks. LoL, Now you just have to wait for Edward's reaction. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn.**

**Second... who followed the clues and guessed that this was Bella's big secret? I know a few of you did, and I have to say, it made me smile like a total dork when I'd read those reviews. Poor Bella... for a spoiled rich kid she's really had a screwed up life. It's true what they say though, money can't buy you happiness. **

**Third... Lolypop82 blessed this chapter with a sexy manip of Edward in bed while a little action takes place under the sheets. You can find a link on my profile. Love her hard for that! I also love my fantastic beta, ClaraBella, because she never gets fed up with my repetitive mistakes. LoL**

**Fourth... For those who read Two Makes Three, you might be happy to hear I sent my beta, CC, the first chapter to the sequel. EEP! I just want to get two more complete before I start posting, so were looking at the end of June for the return of Stalker and his Care Bear. *wink* **

**Soooo how do we feel? I'm sure a few of you are mad at Bella for being so irresponsible... but can you blame her? She had like zero guidance growing up. Her priorities were all kinds of messed up. Are you disappointed in Edward for giving in to Bella's _needs? _Keep in mind, he's a man. Men make mistakes alllllll the time when pretty girls and va-jay-jay's are involved. Just saying. **

***Hearing from you guys... it's what keeps me going, so please review and share your thoughts with me. I'll share a little something extra with you in return***


	16. Don't Worry, I'll Catch You

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.**

**A/N: As usual my beautiful beta deserves lots of cupcakes and cookies for her fabulous skills. Thank you clarabella! *heart***

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Don't Worry, I'll Catch You**

**~~*Edward*~~**

I couldn't move, not even to blink. What Bella had just shared with me, the revelations of how fucked up just this last year of her life had been…forgetting about everything else, and only looking at the last few months, it was almost too much for me to handle. I had all kinds of thoughts and questions forming in my mind, but before I'd let myself open my mouth I had to make sure I wouldn't say anything stupid.

As fucked up as this was, one wrong word and I knew Bella would run, and we'd be right back where we'd started, only with her defenses that much stronger.

I could see it in her eyes, she wanted to take the last ten minutes back. She was already regretting her decision to share it all with me, and truthfully, there was a part of me that wished we could go back and start over. It was only a small part, though, and that feeling only lasted for a few brief seconds. I knew the reason why I didn't want to know. It was because it killed me knowing that everything I'd already suspected was actually ten times worse than I'd originally thought.

All of Bella's behaviors absolutely made sense to me now - the way she pushed people away when they started to get too close, her need for emotionless sex with no strings attached, and her cravings for the mind numbing affects brought on by alcohol. She found comfort in blurring all the memories that were so obviously haunting her. She lived to forget, because she was terrified to remember it all. But on top of everything she was also afraid to allow new memories in… memories that might help make her feel whole again. That scared her more than anything and that revelation was internally tearing me apart. She'd found solace in the broken girl she'd become with the walls she'd created surrounding her. I hated myself for it but I had to wonder if I was actually strong enough to help her deal with the demons she was clearly facing, because I'd certainly failed the last time I'd had to face something like this. The similarities alone had my head spinning.

Shit, but Jake being the father of her unborn baby, that's what shocked me the most, even though it made total sense. All the stares, glances, and smiles shared between them, it had been obvious to me that they shared some kind of ridiculously deep bond, and now I understood just how deep it went.

They were best friends and they'd almost had a child together.

_Shit, no wonder the poor guy looks at her as though she's his entire world._

_And no wonder you'd felt this amazing connection so instantaneously with Bella as well as an understanding for the relationship she shared with her best friend._

_You two are more alike than you'll ever want to admit, Cullen._

This was seriously fucked.

Before I could stop myself I had to ask, "How did you know the baby was Jake's? I mean I thought you didn't do exclusive relationships."

"I don't. It just happened to be a slow month for me… There was only one possible person, and that person unfortunately had to be Jake. Like I said, I refused to believe it, so for several weeks I ignored it all together. I tried so hard to pretend none of it was real- to just go about my life the same way I always did, hoping it would all just go away," she hollowly replied before releasing a frustrated grunt. "I guess it's true what they say about being careful what you wish for." She paused and took in a deep breath before continuing, "So as you can see, Edward, I really am prone to bullshit disasters. I seem to draw in all kinds of bad decisions, you're absolutely better off spending your time with someone… less destructive. Someone like Irina. She's the kind of girl you deserve. Trust me you'll be saving yourself from- "

"Bella, stop." I ordered firmly. I'd startled her with my tone, but I could have sworn I saw a slight smirk escape her lips for a brief second at the sound of my raised voice. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you put yourself down. You've made mistakes. Who hasn't? I'm far from perfect so who would I be to judge you? Your mistakes don't decide who you are, Bella. They're what you learn from."

She frowned and shook her head then once again looked away from me. It was painfully obvious that she was going to remain stubborn when it came to the fact that I wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Not without her. No matter what she'd done, and no matter what she said, or what she thought about herself. I was determined now more than ever to be the person that could successfully put Bella back together again.

For her, I would be whatever she needed me to be in order to help her feel whole again.

"So after you found out you were pregnant, did it change anything between you and Jake? I mean did you guys try to be together?"

_There you go again with your masochistic cravings for information heavy in the fucked up department, Cullen._

"No. It didn't change anything. I wasn't going to live a lie and pretend we could be some happy family. I know Jake felt differently. He made that painfully clear right before I left, even after everything that had happened, he still thought we could be something together, but I knew better. I'll never see him as more than a friend. He's my very best friend, and I love him. But I could never be in love with him. Not the way he deserves to be loved anyway. I don't have that to give. Besides, how could anyone ever really love me when I can't even love myself? My own parents didn't even want me. I'm the productive of a mistake so it only makes sense that since the day I was born my life would be riddled with my own fucked up mistakes."

"Bella-"

"_No_." She swiftly stopped me, raising her hand in the air as though she could physically stop any words I may try to say to her. "I don't _want_ to talk about it anymore. I just wanted you to know all of the facts. I needed to get it all out… for whatever reason… I wanted you to know. I guess maybe so you'd finally understand why I'm seriously not worth it, because I'm really not, Edward. I really don't deserve to be happy, and you tend to make me feel not only that, but so much more. So now that you know all the juicy details, I'd really rather not talk about it ever again," she huffed then stood up to brush herself off and take another deep breath in. "I'll be fine tomorrow. Promise. I just needed to get past today. Jake being here, it made it unbelievably harder on me and Paul was the cherry on top with his little comment. I left them for a reason, to get away from all of these feelings of guilt and resentment. If they hadn't come this weekend I would have been okay. Seeing Jake's broken expression every time he looked at me today, it was too much. I'd been doing so good with shutting it all out, so fucking good," she finished then began to walk away from me without saying another word. I sat there motionless, unable to shake her words from my memory. It was so evident how helpless and alone she felt. It was insanely heartbreaking to see and hear her like this, and a part of me wanted to reach out and shake her by the shoulders to help her see she was being utterly absurd, but I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

I knew it wouldn't be easy because this entire conversation felt all too familiar.

"Bella! Wait!" I finally shouted after her then stood up to run in the direction she'd gone. I found her leaning against a tree shaking her head while her shoulders shook mechanically over her quiet sobs.

"Please! Can we _please_ just forget about this entire day. You know now. There's nothing you can do or say that can make me feel any better about any of it. It is what it is. I'm a fucked up mess, but I can turn it off if you'll just let me... If you'll just help me forget. Please, Edward. Just let me turn it off," she pleaded looking directly into my eyes. "I don't deserve any of it… what I mean is, I don't deserve the things you make me feel. I can never reciprocate those feelings. You don't deserve to be strung along by someone like me when I can absolutely promise you there is no future here between us," she cried while forcefully hitting my chest with her closed fist, her eyes once again refusing to look into mine as the fresh tears began to stream down her face.

"Bella, you can't push me away. I'm not going to let you. I want to be here for you, you do deserve to be happy. No one deserves what you've been through. No one." I calmly answered her while running the back of my hand against her jaw line trying my best to calm her crying. She closed her eyes and shook her head with her lip trembling over the emotions that were still taking over her delicate state.

"You just don't get it."

"I do get it, more than you know, and I'm still not going anywhere," I insisted, refusing to release her from my arms. She took in another deep, quivering breath then looked past me up towards the sky where the stars were shining above us. She really was a pro at avoiding my stare with pure perfection. I felt my frustration rise. I needed her to believe my words. Even if she didn't want to accept them, she needed to believe that none of this mattered to me. I would be whatever she needed me to be for her, but I would never walk away or leave her behind.

Never.

"I think it's time to go back. I'm feeling rather exhausted all of a sudden," she mumbled after finally allowing her shoulders to relax again against me. It was no wonder she was feeling tired. I only hoped she'd let me hold her in my arms while we slept tonight.

"We got the smaller tent, if you're okay with that. Otherwise I can pull a sleeping bag out and sleep in the van with Jake and Paul," I told her softly while I draped my arm over her shoulders to guide her in the right direction back towards camp.

At first she didn't say anything, and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. I couldn't let her push me away. It just wasn't an option. I could feel my panic rising till she finally released a soft huff from between her lips.

"It's fine. We can share the tent. As much as I want to be alone…. I don't," she admitted, forcing me to hide my smirk. The rest of the walk was quiet and I was more than fine with that. I didn't want to push my luck and accidentally say something that might make her re-evaluate her decision to share a sleeping bag with me tonight.

When we got back to camp the fire was still going, but, just as I'd hoped, no one was around. I bent down and unzipped our tent door then gestured for her to crawl in first. She kicked her shoes off and scooted her body inside then pulled her leggings from her body and did the fancy girl trick to remove her bra through the sleeve of her oversized flannel. She looked unbelievably sexy, even with her tear stained face and bloodshot eyes, but I didn't dare tell her that.

Once inside, I zipped the door back up then pulled my own shirt from my body and joined her inside the large oversized sleeping bag, instantly pulling her into me so I could wrap my arms securely around her. She surprised me when she placed her arms over mine to signal she wanted me to hold her more tightly against me. I obliged without hesitation and kissed her neck softly before whispering one final promise into her ear.

"I'll be here, still holding you in my arms, in the morning, and every morning after that, Bella. I'll be here for as long as you'll have me."

She responded with a light whimper then increased her hold on my arms and laced her fingers between my own, in front of her. A few seconds later her grasp went limp, and I knew she'd fallen asleep leaving me behind with my own demons, and my own memories, to haunt me before I too drifted off to sleep.

* * *

That night I had a strange dream. There was a house, a lake, and a long dock that went far out into the water. I remembered there being a little girl, and I remembered watching her run full speed to jump from the dock's wooden panels into the lake water while Bella stood beside me smiling, holding my hand in hers.

There was something different about her smile, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I just remembered feeling unbelievably content while we stood there watching the care freeness of the young girl playing in the water.

When I opened my eyes Bella was already smiling down at me.

"You're mighty pretty when you talk in your sleep, M&M," she shared, still grinning, then ran her hand through my hair before leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I've got to say, It's also nice to be on the other end for once," she toyed playfully with a flick to my nipple and a sparkle in her chocolate brown eyes.

"Thank you," I huskily whispered back then pulled her down to hold her firmly against me. "How did you get out of my arms, Rock Star?" I asked with my own devious smile.

"I had to pee," she admitted bashfully then propped herself on her elbows against my chest, while her fingers continued to mess with my hair beside my temples.

"How are you feeling?" I had to ask at least once.

"Amazing. It's a new day, all is right in the world. I'm crazy ready to turn my tits into boob-cicles in the freezing river," she toyed with an exaggerated wink. She was trying really hard, that much was obvious, but I was still impressed by her strength to pick up the pieces and carry on the only way she knew how. Even if in the back of my head I realized it probably wasn't the healthiest way to handle the situation, it still seemed better than the alternative of waking up with her in tears this morning.

"Well get your suit on, let's grab something to eat real quick, and head down to the water," I casually suggested. She eyed me suspiciously but I maintained my innocence with my smile and slapped her ass playfully causing her to jump off my body with an adorable yelp. She shook her finger at me with a warning smirk then leaned across my lap to grab her duffle bag. It took everything I had in me to keep my hand from meeting her perfect backside again, but somehow I managed to behave.

I watched her sit back up onto her knees and felt my jaw nearly drop to the ground when she casually began unbuttoning her flannel right there in front of me without a care in the world. The sight of her exposed breasts instantly shook my morning wood wide awake. She, of course, noticed the effect her nakedness had on my very horny body right away. I rolled my eyes over the sound of her soft giggles while she stared down at the all natural tent I had just pitched in my pants courtesy of her phenomenal tits.

"If everyone wasn't already awake and eating a few feet away, I'd of course help you out with that, Mr. Cullen."

"I can stay quiet. Boy scout's honor, Ms. Swan," I insisted with a devilish grin, knowing she'd love it. It was so easy to just fall back in line with our twisted relationship when Bella was being… just Bella. It was almost frightening how easy it was. But it also helped me realize right then and there just how easy it had been for her to manipulate her boys back home to always play by her rules without ever pushing too hard.

She laughed and crawled back towards me then remained on all fours as she leaned her partially opened mouth down to meet mine, gently pulling on my bottom lip with her teeth before moaning ridiculously loud between her deepened kiss, "Where's the fun if you can't express freely how _unfucking-believable_ it is, Edward?" She asked against my ear then giggled lightly and pushed her self back up onto her knees to tie her bathing suit top around her neck and behind her back.

"Tease." I groaned, further forgetting just how broken she had been mere hours ago when we were outside of our safe tent.

"I'll make it up to you, at a later date. Promise," she winked then casually slipped on a pair of loose shorts and a tank top before blowing me one last kiss to leave me behind. She knew I needed some alone time. This hard-on wasn't going to go away on it's own anytime soon, so I had no choice but to take things into my own hands. Literally. Thankfully, she knew to give me the privacy I needed.

* * *

When I finally removed myself from the tent I saw everyone already hanging out down by the river. Everyone, that is, except for Jake. He was sitting alone with Jane in his lap beside the burning embers of the morning fire, looking about a million miles away.

"Hey."

He looked up and forced a smile then set the guitar down beside him, "Morning, Edward."

"Everyone went down to the water already huh?" I asked trying to make conversation.

"Yup."

Silence surrounded us and I could feel the uncomfortable feelings of it all quickly taking over. I felt for the guy, really I did. Especially given the circumstances, and similarities, but it still bothered the hell out of me that he'd been the one to come so close to having something so special with the girl I was currently so obsessed with.

"Bella's doing better today, huh?" he asked, catching me by surprise while I watched his eyes scan out towards the river bank behind me. I could hear Bella laughing uncontrollably in the distance, and for a moment I smiled.

"Yeah, she said she'd be fine in the morning. Guess she was right." I answered bluntly.

"You guys talked then?"

For some reason, I was having a difficult time deciding how much this guy really wanted to know. I hated it when people danced around conversations, but I had no idea how I should start things off.

Jake stood up slowly and let out a huff then crossed his arms in front of him while he looked me up and down, waiting for my answer so I mirrored his stance and narrowed my own eyes at him in return. "Yeah, we talked. She told me about what happened. The fall, the baby, the clinic, you- all of it."

Jake looked genuinely shocked and the sight almost made me smile. Bella's friend was slowly starting to realize just how close she and I actually were, and that it wasn't just about the sex. "Wow, that's… really not at all like her."

I shrugged and cleared my throat wanting my next statement to come out right, without stepping on the poor guy's toes. He didn't deserve the bullshit either, but he should know that when it came to me and Bella, I was already in it for the long haul. It didn't even bother me that Jasper was getting our exchange on tape, I had nothing to hide.

"Look, Jake, it's fucked up what happened. I'm sorry, I really am. You should know though, I do care about Bella. I care about her a lot and for all the right reasons. Just like you do. I only want her to be happy, and I only want to be there for her. I promise, I'll keep an eye on her. I'll make sure she's doing what she promised you she would do. I don't want to lose her either. She already means way too much to me. I'll keep her safe," I told him with certainty in my tone. I meant every word of what I'd said. I was stepping up to be the person Bella would need me to be, but I also wouldn't be in her face about it. I held the upper hand here because she'd already filled me in on what had made her run the last time things started to pile up back in Oregon. Because of that I'd be sure to avoid repeating any and all of those mistakes with her in the future.

"I can tell you're an okay guy, Edward. I just hope you're able to do it better than we did. She needs someone who won't give up on her, or cave when she starts to get difficult. She's not going to make it easy, believe me."

"I know she won't. I wouldn't expect anything less from her." I smiled and saw his defenses fall slightly.

"Promise me you wont hesitate to call if things start to get out of control. We'll be back soon with the rest of the guys… if things don't seem better we will convince her to come home with us, and I'd expect you to help us with that. If it's what's best for her, I mean."

I felt a twinge of guilt over the thought of agreeing to be somewhat of a spy for Bella's friends but ultimately, I agreed. Mostly just to settle Jake's nerves. In all honesty, I couldn't imagine ever going behind Bella's back for anyone, but there was no telling what we'd face in the future so I'd at least agree to keep the option open. He was crazy, though, to think I'd ever agree to help him talk Bella into going home early. There was no way I'd ever agree to that. Not before our time here was up. And not without a fight to keep her here. There was nothing they could do for her back there that I couldn't do for her here. This was fact, and I already knew that.

"Look, Edward, you need to understand that with Bella, things can go from perfect and simple, to utter and total shit very quickly. Like, within the blink of an eye. You have to know when to push and when to take a step back. When I tell Banner she's regressing, he's going to contact the show, and he's going to insist they set something up for her to get some kind of outpatient therapy. I can guarantee that, so be ready for a grade A temper tantrum. The most important thing will be getting her to agree to start seeing someone while she's out here. That will be your first battle. So start preparing now."

"I'm already ready, and I'll be ready for anything. No worries," I replied then extended my hand out to shake his. Jake slowly nodded his head then released a sigh while we exchanged a firm handshake between us.

"I don't know you, Edward, but I'm trusting you with someone who means the world to me. Please… please don't let me down. Don't make me regret my decision to leave her behind today."

"You have my word, Jake," I assured him, then suggested we both head down to the river to meet up with the rest of the crew. He nodded his head, but I could tell he still had more to say. The important stuff was out though. I didn't need to hear about how much Bella meant to him. I already knew all about that. I also knew that she meant the world to me now, too. And because of that, I'd never let anything happen to her.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon went off without a hitch. Bella was awkwardly back to normal. Even her and Paul were getting along as though nothing had happened the night before. Much to my surprise the rest of the house had also done an exceptional job at masking their own concerns over last nights drama. I was of course wondering what James had used to ensure they all behaved, so I made a mental note to question him later about it when we were alone.

All in all, the entire charade seemed extremely fucked to me. Bella had felt absolutely lost and broken the night before so as the day went on it seemed to bother me more and more that she was able to turn herself around so easily and act as though nothing at all had happened. It seemed ridiculously unhealthy, but a part of me still felt it was better than having her off by herself feeling alone and distressed, so truthfully I didn't know how to feel about the situation. All I knew was that it didn't feel right, so in turn I felt very bothered by all of it.

During the ride home Bella opted to sit beside me while Tanya took the seat between Jake and Paul in the back. She'd leaned her head on my shoulder and taken my hand into hers the moment we'd sat down, and her action seemed to calm me rather quickly.

In my head I was contemplating on confronting her once we were alone later tonight. Maybe talk her into going out to the school with me for a skate-slash-guitar break. I knew she'd come. She loved the quietness of our special place. She enjoyed those moments even more when we'd go after the cameramen had gone home for the night. That's when she'd really open up to me and I was in desperate need for one of those nights with her this evening.

It was time I pulled some of my own skeletons out for Bella to see. Maybe then she'd finally understand and accept that she wasn't alone when it came to having a bullshit riddled past.

As soon as we'd arrived back to the house we had to say goodbye to Jake and Paul. I could tell Bella wasn't ready to see them go, even though she'd admitted to me the night before that having them here had not been easy on her. She still cared about them, and deep down she knew they were only trying to look after her. She just hadn't been prepared to face the memories they had brought along with them, so it had inevitably knocked her on her ass, and she had without a doubt paid the price for that.

"It was great to meet you, Edward. Guess we'll see you in a few weeks with the rest of the gang. Don't worry we'll put in a good word for you. You'll already be considered a part of the family," Paul assured me with a jab to my shoulder. I smiled and nodded my head unable to say anything in return. I was too busy watching Bella rock back and forth on her feet with fresh tears running down her cheeks over their own impending goodbyes.

Moments later she was embracing Jake in an uncomfortably emotional hug. I watched on while he whispered stuff into her ear closing his own eyes in the process, then looked away feeling embarrassed for having allowed myself to impose on their exchange. Thankfully James had started quietly insisting that everyone head inside to give Bella some privacy with her emotions and her boys. I took a step back to let them have their time alone then watched her kiss them both firmly on their lips, long and hard, before hugging them one last time. I was surprised when the sight didn't force me to curl my fists at my sides. This was who she was with them, and I had found a way to be okay with that because in my heart I already knew she'd be in my arms again tonight and almost every night after that while we were here.

Plus, I knew that the kisses we shared actually had passion unlike the ones she was sharing with them.

"Hey, Edward!" Jake called after me once I'd turned to make my way up the house. I glanced in their direction and gave a quick wave. "Take care of her," he instructed with a nod of his head.

"You've got my word," I answered with a thumbs up which earned him Bella's elbow to his ribs.

"Seriously. I can take care of myself jerk faces!" She joked, then playfully shoved her two friends towards their rental car after throwing a wink and a wave in my direction letting me know she really was okay.

* * *

**~~*Bella*~~**

After seeing the guys off I decided to stay outside on the porch by myself for a little while longer. As much as I hated to admit it, for once, I needed some quiet time alone with my thoughts. I knew what _should_ happen next, but I wasn't ready to do it. Not yet. I had to put it off for at least a little while longer because once I came clean, I knew they'd all look at me differently. Everyone always did, it came with the territory when you were nothing but a selfish fuck up.

It was hard to say goodbye to Jake. Especially after the way things ended last night. I'd wasted precious time with my friends simply because I couldn't acknowledge the fact that they were once again right and I was wrong. It was nothing they weren't used to though.

At least I was finally able to accept that tiny fact.

_Your friends have learned to expect absolutely nothing from you. Nice, Swan._

I released a quiet sigh when I heard the door creak open from behind me. Slowly, I turned my head to tilt my sunglasses forward on the bridge of my nose so I could peek just above the rim with my naked eyes.

I was expecting Edward, so to see Rose standing there, it took me by surprise.

"Hey," she greeted with a soft huff. I knew that kind of a huff. She had a lot on her mind and she was determined to share some of it with me. Sam used to make that same sound often.

"What's up?" I asked, swiftly brushing the leftover tears from my cheeks before forcing a painfully fake smile.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Her response stunned me, and I accidentally let her know that by scoffing loudly after turning myself away from her. If there was one thing I'd learned about Rose since being in the house it was that she rarely thought about anyone but herself.

"Bella, I know you think I don't like you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rose. I don't think much about you period." I snapped back with a roll of my eyes from behind my sunglasses.

"Fair enough, but, you should know… I don't judge you. I… well. I mean, I know what it's like. I've been there. That's how I knew all the signs, and why I've kind of been on your case about it in a fairly passive aggressive way."

Her words forced my eyes to the ground and my arms automatically hugged my knees to my chest from where I sat on the steps of the front porch. I felt my shoulders slouch with my broken posture and took in shallow breath before closing my eyes to force back the traitor tears that were once again threatening to make an appearance. I was so sick and fucking tired of crying. It made me feel so weak, so spineless.

I don't know how, but I'd had a feeling this conversation would surface sooner or later. You just kind of_ knew_ when someone else shared your same flaws and the moment Rose started to eye me at the dinner table I knew she was a twisted sister and it was that very reason alone why she'd try to keep her own wall up around me.

She could tell I was weak and she didn't want me rubbing off on her. It was as simple as that.

"How bad did it get?" She asked, pressing forward. I frowned and shook my head after she took a seat beside me.

"It wasn't bad. It was a vacation," I mumbled, not wanting to discuss it any further. I knew she would continue to push though. That's what girls like her did once they decided to intervene. She was just like my Big Sister at the clinic, and that fact alone was why I'd wanted to keep my own walls up around her.

She could read my bullshit, and I fucking hated it.

"Come on, Bella. You can talk to me. For once, stop with the BS."

I took in a deep breath then slowly released it from between my lips while loosely keeping my arms crossed in front of me, "Look, Rose, it's really not something I _want _or _need_ to talk about. Why is that so hard for you to understand?" I huffed, once again avoiding her stare.

"Okay, fair enough. You can't be forced. If anyone understands that, it's me. Just know… if you randomly feel the need to talk to someone, I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't just come to you sooner. I'm even more sorry that it took someone else saying something before I finally gained the courage to step outside of my own comfort zone to reach out to you. I should have been a better friend."

I closed my eyes noticing Jasper round us from behind with his camera at his shoulder and released a frustrated grunt before standing up on the steps with my fists balled at my sides.

"Thanks, Rose, but I'm fine. Promise. There's nothing I need to talk about. You don't owe me anything."

She frowned at my response and shrugged her shoulders from where she'd stood up beside me then moved out of the way so I'd be able to pass her to head inside the house.

I really wasn't ready to talk about this. I'd turn it around. I'd make sure they had no reason to whisper behind my back anymore. I knew how to work the system. This definitely wasn't my first rodeo, it just meant I needed to readjust my routine. Nothing I haven't done before, I just knew Rose would be the thorn in my ass to make it all the more difficult now.

_Super._

Once inside I found everyone sitting around in the living room or in the kitchen. Edward was in the computer room typing away with a fairly serious expression on his face. I narrowed my eyes trying to read his grimace but got distracted when Alice snuck up behind me to pinch my hips.

"Hey, Bella, want to help me pick out something to wear. I… um… might have agreed to go on a second date tonight. Jasper wants to take me out for ice-cream."

I was already beaming over her request and squealed my own response, "Oh my God, YES, Little A!" I grabbed her hand in mine and pulled her with me towards the staircase to bring her up to my room. I had the perfect dress for her, and this was the perfect distraction for me. I loved helping people highlight all their best features, and Alice was definitely the right kind of Barbie Doll to help me forget about everything else.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Edward finally appeared in our doorway with a nervous smile on his face. I'd come up to our bedroom about two hours earlier to lay on my bed with Jane while I waited for Alice to return from her date with the cowboy cameraman of her dreams. She'd been so adorably nervous again that I almost felt bad for her, but after a long pep talk and a single application of red lipstick to her lips, she seemed to walk out of the house looking a bit more confident with a nervous looking Jasper on her arm.

I felt like a proud momma, and the pain in my heart over that feeling only lasted for a second this time thankfully.

"What's up, M&M?" I asked while leaning over to the nightstand to grab my mixed drink from it's surface. I was a couple of beverages in but nowhere near where I wanted to be this evening.

"Just seeing what you're up to. Wasn't sure if you'd gone to bed without me," he answered smiling, then casually eyed his skateboard against the wall beside the bathroom door. I knew what was coming. He was so easy to read. Especially when his board was in the room.

"Okay. Fine. I'll tag along with you," I answered before he'd even been able to state his request. He laughed and nodded his head, understanding that there were no other words that needed to be shared between us. "I'm just going to go fill up a thermos with a little something-something first and we can sneak out separate doors. You take the front, and I'll ninja my way out the back," I whispered already knowing the flaw in the rules of the cameramen thanks to Jasper's secret tips.

One was out watching Jasper and Alice on their date, which meant Jasper was also obviously unavailable to be all big brother with his own lens, and then one would have to stay at the house, so we were totally in the clear to take off without an extra set of eyes watching over our shoulders in the shadows.

"Sounds perfect. Make sure you throw on a sweater. It got chilly out," he warned with a wink. I smiled and nodded my head then grabbed Edward's hoodie, the one I'd recently adopted as my own, and gently placed Jane into her case so I'd be able to carry her down the stairs with me.

"Going someplace, Bella?" Tanya asked, passing me on the staircase with a careful scan of her eyes.

"Just outside for some fresh air and a ciggy," I replied with a smile. It wasn't a total lie.

"Hmm. Okay. Well I'm going to bed. Work tomorrow and all. Try to not make _too_ much noise when you come in would you?" she requested after continuing up the steps with a flip of her hair.

I mumbled an agreement in response then quickened my pace all the way into the kitchen doing my best to avoid James, Emmett, and Rose's eyes while I poured some vodka into a clear water bottle then added some cranberry juice and a few ice cubes before screwing the top back on to give it a good shake.

I could feel them watching me, "Going out for a little while," I informed them without even looking in their general direction.

"Alrighty, _you_ and _Edward_ have a good time doing whatever it is you _do_ when you guys disappear for hours upon hours late at night," Emmett spoke up with click of his tongue and a light chuckle. I rolled my eyes and waved my hand behind my head signaling for him to shut the hell up then turned to blow them all one last kiss as I crossed through the back door.

_Epic ninja fail, Swan._

He was waiting for me a block away under a flickering street light with his board tucked safely under his arm and a smirk on his face, "Successful escape?"

"Eh, not so much. They know you left too and that we're going to hang out, but they didn't really give me a hard time about it. The back up camera guy looked totally stressed though when I passed him in the hallway." I replied with a giggle.

"I bet. Poor guy. Rules are rules, though," Edward snorted then took my hand into his and gave it a squeeze. I smiled over his action and increased my own grasp around his fingers then asked him if he was ready for our first solo day with the kids tomorrow.

"I think we'll be ready. Those kids love you. They'd walk across burning rocks for you if you asked them to," he replied, grinning. I elbowed him playfully in the side and shook my head.

"I highly doubt that, but… I've got to say. That little Bree is on her way to making the end of October a very difficult time for me," I admitted thinking about how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to her once our time here was up.

"Just Bree, huh?" he teased playfully. I knew he was only trying to make me smile so I threw another jab to his gut and let out a sarcastic laugh. He was well aware that it would be _more_ than just Bree that would make the end of October a hard month for me to swallow.

We walked in silence the rest of the way to the school. For some reason the silence with Edward wasn't bothering me as much as it used to. I'd found it almost therapeutic actually. It didn't take me long, though, to realize it was because all of the pestering, mocking voices had stopped thanks to the couple of drinks I had downed earlier.

Edward walked me to my usual bench then released my hand and dropped his board down to the ground. "I'm going to start in the pool tonight, you good here?"

"I'm good here," I assured him with a wink while we stood there in the darkness. I bent down and clicked the flood light on at the ground, illuminating the surrounding area for Edward then smiled. He nodded his head, and I felt my insides melt over the smirk he'd sent my way before taking off towards the empty cement pool about a hundred feet away.

I was definitely feeling more than ready to get lost with Jane and the man in the moon above us.

* * *

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but I knew my fingers were begging for a break so I set my guitar down beside me on the bench and stood up to stretch my limbs with a loud grunt then scanned the area looking for Edward. I didn't hear or see him anywhere, and for a moment I panicked that he'd fallen somewhere and I'd been so lost in playing on my guitar that I hadn't heard him calling for my help. With those thoughts in my head I quickened my pace towards the empty pool and held my hands at my heart, automatically anticipating the worst because that's where my mind always went first.

Another fabulous flaw of mine.

"Edward?" I frantically called out once I was a few feet away from the edge already feeling terrified over what I might find. I felt my heart drop further into my stomach when I saw him laying on his back at the bottom of the pool with his board beside his head. I didn't take another breath till he slowly sat himself up with an embarrassed look on his face. "Oh my God! What the fuck? Don't ever scare me like that again asshole!"

"I'm fine, Bella. Calm down. Jesus," he chuckled lightly then pointed up at the sky. "Look at the sky, it looks amazing tonight," he pointed out then ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Come down here and sit with me. It's seriously almost like being on another planet."

I let out a huff and crossed my arms defiantly.

Was he smoking crack? Seriously, what the hell?

Pissed was beyond what I was feeling. He'd scared the crap out of me, all because he'd been star gazing? Pft!

"Please, Bella?" he pushed further with a bashful smirk that instantly melted my panties, instead of my insides this time.

"Fine," I mumbled then made my way to the ladder at the other end of the pool after flipping my dreads back behind me with more force than I'd meant to. I heard him laugh at my action and turned to glare in his direction for a moment before I began to descend the steps of the ladder towards the bottom of the cement floor.

"That'a'girl," he teased almost instantly then pulled on my hand to bring me down beside him. "See you're lucky, you have a built in pillow," he toyed referring to my bundled up hair. I let out a sarcastic laugh and laid myself beside him then positioned my 'built in pillow' under my head before crossing my arms over my stomach. He was right. The sky looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. There wasn't a single cloud above us. I couldn't remember ever seen such a bright and starry night before, even back home in Oregon.

"You wrote a new part to your song tonight," he stated after a few seconds of silence. I smiled and nodded my head.

"You noticed."

"Of course I noticed. It sounds amazing. Are you almost done with it then?"

"Yes. All that's left are a few lyrics that are apparently determined to fuck with my head," I admitted with a sigh.

"Well I can't wait to hear it when it's all done," he assured me as he repositioned himself to rest his arms behind his head.

"So what brought on this sudden serene moment, Cullen? I never took you for a star gazer before," I questioned wanting to change the uncomfortable subject.

"Just wanted to take a break and thought the bottom of the pool would be a nice place to clear my head." he answered then coughed lightly.

"Cover your mouth," I warned with a smirk, then redirected my stare back up towards the sky. "Clear your head huh? Trying to decide if you can _handle_ the ride I've guaranteed you?" I teased trying to sound sarcastic, even though I absolutely meant what I'd said.

"No, but," he bluntly replied, then roughly cleared his throat, again creating all kinds of nervous feelings within me.

_Oh shit. What now? Not already. He wouldn't bring it all up again after I asked him to let me turn it all off! _

"Bella, I-"

"Edward, I don't want to talk about all the ugly stuff tonight. Please? Just give me a few days," I begged with frustration in my tone and on my face.

"This isn't about you, it's about me, Bella." His own tone caught me by surprise and forced me to sit myself up to look down at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him. Was he going to tell me that I was right? That he couldn't handle the messiness that came along with the kind of connection I needed from him?

_Well Swan, it looks like you've once again learned that you should be careful of what you wish for. Kudos. _

He took in a deep breath then sat up beside me drawing his knees in up against his chest and exhaled slowly while I lit a cigarette at my lips between my shaking fingertips, "What I mean, Bella, is you've shared so much of yourself with me… so much heartache and disappointment, I think it's time I tell you a little about my own past."

"Edward, I don't expect you to tell me anything. I shared with you because I felt like I owed that to you because you'd already done something for me I never thought possible… I just owed you an explanation for why-"

"No, you didn't owe me anything, but you still told me everything. That's why I want to tell you a little about my own screwy past. Just like you felt the need to explain to me why I should walk away, I feel like you should understand why I can't. And why you and me… why we were… Bella… you and I… Christ, I've been practicing this in my head since this morning and now it won't come out right," he grunted with frustration. I continued to stare at him, feeling my heart rate accelerate when he paused for a moment to move some of my hair back behind my shoulders then cleared his throat again.

"It's time I told you about my best friend, Vic."

"Vic?" I asked feeling absolutely confused about where this conversation was going.

"Well, Victoria. We call her Vic," he explained, this time avoiding my eyes. I shifted my weight from side to side and leaned back on my arms hoping my casual stance would help relax him a little.

"Okay, tell me about, Vic. Did you knock her up?" I joked, thinking it would make him smile.

When he didn't smile, I panicked.

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dunnnnnn. I love their moments at the school yard. Bella's finally going to learn about some of Edwards history. Will she treat it as maturely as he did with hers? **

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer than expected. I had a visitor from another land... the amazing Stella, if you read TMT, she's the fabulous person who created Bella's Sketch Book for the epi. Meeting her in RL was a dream come true! Such a special soul and what a sweetheart!**

**I promise I'm trying really hard to get back on track with bi-weekly updates again but I should be upfront... I received some rather exciting news about 2 weeks ago that has made writing a bit difficult as of late. I really am determined to get back into my routine though, and I'll share the exciting news with the next update. Feel free to take a guess if you'd like. *wink***

**So Bella has laid it all out there for Edward and now he's about to do the same for her. Any guesses on what he's about to drop on her? What will this do to their relationship? Will it bring them closer or will she push him away again? Are we excited about the photo-shoot with Dem? It will all go down in the next chapter. Wonder how Edward will feel about that, *smirk*. Do we really think Bella will change her "ways" when it comes to her eating habits? How will she react when Edward starts to push a little bit more? And what about the Rose revelation? **

***Please review because I love hearing your thoughts and theories, and I love sending something special in return.***


	17. History Revisited

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: Yup... its me. I'm back... and if you're reading this I owe you a HUGE apology for disappearing the way I did. After my last update I found out I was pregnant, and I'm very proud to share with you that I now have a beautiful five month old daughter named Brynn Lyric. My pregnancy was super rough thanks to high blood pressure, and I ended up on bed rest for the last month and a half of it. One would think that would allow plenty of time to write, but for me all it did was stress me out and make it absolutly inpossible to focus on writing. So thats my reason for going MIA for the last year and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me and continue reading this story because these two characters still have quite a story to tell. I would like to take a minute to thank my new beta, Riss, for without her I would still be sitting on this chapter too nervous to return. So, without further stalling, lets get back to where we left off because I've seriously missed hitting this update button. **

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**History Revisited **

**~*Bella*~**

I sat there motionless with my lit cigarette dangling between my fingertips, while my brain tried to make sense of where this conversation could possibly be heading. Since the very first day I'd laid my eyes on Edward I'd believed he was a playboy, someone who avoided commitment just as much as I did. In mentioning all of his random conquests, never once had he brought up this _Vic _person.

Unfortunately, I knew that meant something and that something had me feeling unusually nervous... and slightly annoyed. For whatever reason, I was much more comfortable believing that he'd never had anyone in his life that had actually meant something special to him… at least not in a romantic way. It had made him just as broken as me when it came to relationships, and in my own fucked up way, I believed that's what had allowed me to get close to him in the first place.

This was no longer the case though. I could hear it in his voice when he said her name. It was suddenly very clear, that I had been extremely wrong in allowing myself to think that there had never been anyone in Edwards past, who had left a foot print on his heart.

"Victoria and I… we'd been best friends since the third grade. She transferred to our school from another district. Eric Yorkie had made it a point to make her life miserable from the first day she'd stepped foot in our classroom. He would call her Devil Girl and Demon Brains all because of her flaming red hair. I never liked Eric though so I made it my mission to shut him up after I'd found her crying behind the playground during recess on her second day of school."

I couldn't help but smile picturing a young Edward confronting the school bully on the basketball court, one sunny afternoon in California, but that light hearted moment only lasted a second. I quickly took a drag from my cigarette hoping it would settle my nerves over his current history lesson but instantly became frustrated when it didn't do the trick. I was still dreading the very worst. I could read it on his face under the moonlight… the worst was definitely still coming.

Was he still in love with this Demon Brains Devil girl?

Impossible.

_But what if he is, Swan? It's not like you want him in your future… right? Why should this matter?_

My inner voice was once again being an inner bitch.

Super.

"Anyways, from that day forward she was my sidekick, and no one else ever dared to tease her about her hair or anything else for that matter. She was a part of my crew and no one ever questioned that again."

"You were her protector, her _Knight In Shining Armor_. How _romantic_." I teased, forcing a smile. I couldn't lie. I was feeling unbelievably jealous over the red headed, 10 year old girl whom I was currently picturing in my head, and I'd only learned of her existence a mere five minutes ago. Why did Edward have to be the nice guy? He could have been the _bad_ guy, the _villain_. The one that had picked on her just like Eric Yorkie had.

_And this is why walls are so very important, Swan. Tisk, Tisk._

I impulsively shook my head three times ridding it of the pestering voice that insisted on taunting me and redirected my stare to the burning ember on my cigarette before taking another long drag at my lips.

"There was never anything romantic about it, Bella. We were best friends. She was one of the guys. That was just it." Edward insisted, allowing me to relax for a moment.

I of course couldn't let that last for very long.

"So then what happened between you two that's so relevant to my own shitty past?" I blurted out, wishing he would just get to the point. He looked up seemingly stunned over my frustrated tone. I didn't offer an apology, so he took in a deep breath and continued with caution.

"Last year we all went to South Africa to surf some of the world's best waves."

"You and _Vic_? She's a surfer too?"

"Yes, but my buddies Garret, Ben, and Laurent also came along. It was supposed to be a vacation to help me chill before the X-Games. Clear my head and shit."

"I see, but instead it turned into the Sex-Games with your va-jay-jay sporting BFF?" I couldn't help but be a smart ass. It was the only way I knew how to hide my truer feelings.

He smirked for a second then shrugged his shoulders, "It was just one night, after a bonfire on the beach, with lots of alcohol involved. I felt like shit about it the next day and told her it was a huge mistake and one that we shouldn't ever make again. She, in turn, told me it wasn't and that she'd been in love with me for a long time."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Ouch. Truth be told, I did consider it the entire trip back home. Her and I being more than friends I mean. See, I did care about her a lot, and the sex was pretty phenomenal. In the end, I decided it wasn't worth ruining our friendship over, because I knew I wasn't the type to be tied down to anyone or anything for too long. Any kind of relationship with me, outside of a friendship, would be doomed from the start. Vic wasn't the type to have casual hook ups. After she laid her heart out to me I knew it wouldn't be an option to even give friends-with-benefits a try, so I stuck to my guns and did my best to act as though nothing had ever happened."

"That still had to be hard on your strictly friend relationship though." I pointed out before tossing my cigarette butt to the ground to crush its red cherry with my checkered sneaker.

"That was the weird thing. It wasn't. She seemed to get over it right away, and things were good. Really good. No one ever suspected anything, and life went on. But then she came to me a month later and told me she was pregnant."

I instantly found myself choking on my own saliva. I took a deep breath trying to slow down my accelerated heart rate that had been triggered by his words. I couldn't believe how relaxed he still seemed. Even after sharing something so personal and life changing. The heartache I had carried over my own unplanned pregnancy had nearly paralyzed me for months. For him to be so relaxed… it didn't make sense to me.

"At first I felt like my entire world had been pulled out from underneath me. It was at that point though that I decided it was time to grow up. I was going to be a dad. As much as I didn't want my life to change, I knew it was about to. After that I made the adult decision to try to make things work between Vic and I so that we could be a family for our child."

I absolutely could not believe what I was hearing. This sounded nothing like the Edward I had come to know. Never once would I have pegged him as the settling down type, and especially not with someone he didn't have romantic feelings for, no matter what the situation.

I stood there unsure of what to say next. He was silent now, and I didn't want to push him to continue if he wasn't ready, because I knew that's what he would do for me, and that's what I would have wanted from him if the tables were turned. I no longer felt the need to hate the red headed best friend of his, because I had been her and we shared too much in common for me to be bitter over her chapter in Edward's life.

"We had been living together for a little over two months, and things were actually going really well. Believe it or not I was excited about becoming a father, and I was already in love with the idea of having a little boy, or even a girl, to go skateboarding and surfing with. Late at night I'd find myself searching baby name websites and blogs on how to be a good dad. In all honesty, I'd never been more happy than I was during those first few weeks after Vic had shown me our peanuts ultrasound photo. All that changed though the morning before the X-Games. She'd left her Facebook up and a chat screen had popped onto the screen. It was between her and her sister and she'd been talking to her about an abortion."

"Abortion? What the hell? _Whose_ abortion?"

"Hers. Apparently she'd terminated the pregnancy a week after we'd moved in together."

I was surprised by the tears I suddenly felt in my eyes. I must have misunderstood him. It didn't make sense. "I'm so confused. Why would she lie to you? Why would she do that? You were so supportive and excited!"

"She said she was desperate. She knew I would step up if she told me about the baby, but as time went on she realized she wasn't ready to be a mother. She hoped going through a 'planned' miscarriage together, that it would bring us closer and losing the baby wouldn't be the end of our new relationship. That we could go on even without the baby."

"What a fucking bitch. Who the hell does something like that?" I was angry. Absolutely livid. I could see the heartache in Edward's eyes. He had wanted that baby. The thought of becoming a father had helped ground him and give his future meaning. Something besides skateboarding or surfing around the world, and this bitch selfishly took that away without even thinking twice about it.

I wanted to hunt her down and slam her face into a cement wall. Repeatedly. Multiple times.

"Needless to say, the news had knocked me on my ass… or head I should say. I was so distracted by everything that afternoon, that I totally lost myself during my run at the games. The next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital being told I was lucky I could still move my legs."

"Edward I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be. It took some time. For a while I was a very bitter person and vowed to never trust anything with breasts or a gap between their legs, but eventually I realized that it was probably for the best. In all seriousness, looking back, I wasn't really ready to have a family, and especially not with someone I didn't really love. Everything happens for a reason, Bella. That's why I wanted to share my story with you tonight. As insanely similar both of our recent pasts are, there's a reason we were brought together, and together I think we can both help each other realize the future doesn't need to be so narrow and always in the now. It doesn't have to be so scary, Bella… moving forward I mean. There will always be shit storms, but what's important is learning from them so that you're better prepared for the next one. Having the right people in your life can make that a little bit easier. At least that's what I've learned."

Words escaped me. I didn't know what to say. A part of me knew he was right. At times he did help me feel like anything could be possible as far as my future went, but I wasn't ready to say that out loud yet or even really admit it to myself. Some walls were still needed in order for me to keep my sanity.

"Are you still friends with her?" I finally choked out.

"As crazy as it seems, I am. And she's coming with the rest of my friends to visit. We've moved past it. She's medicated now so her craziness is much more controlled." He smiled, but I could tell it was slightly forced.

I scoffed at his revelation, "I can't promise you I won't attempt to pull her _red devil hair_ from her _she devil head_ if she gives me a reason to, Edward."

He smiled lightly and nodded his head, "I would expect nothing less from you, Rock Star."

Now I was both smiling and rolling my eyes. He always did know just what to say to turn my emotions around. Be it for the bad or the good. "We're a fucked up pair, huh?" I asked jokingly while looking up at the stars above our heads.

"Maybe. But I don't mind," he teased, bumping me with his shoulder. "Ready to head back?"

I groaned not really looking forward to being under the watchful eye of cameras again but nodded my head realizing how incredibly sleepy I actually was.

"One more question though." I whispered gently, trying to hide my grin from his eyes.

"Anything." he answered softly while standing up and extending his arm down to take my hand.

"Your bed or mine tonight?"

He laughed and insisted mine would be just fine, then placed his hands on my hips from behind me to walk us towards the ladder of the empty pool. His returned touch sent an electric current through my body, and I could feel the familiar goose bumps take over my limbs almost instantly.

It felt good to finally have someone, besides Jake, who had felt the same kind of heartache I had experienced. Even if the situations were slightly different, Edward and I really did have more in common than I ever could have expected, and it was time I started to accept that and appreciate it for what it was.

But I still couldn't ignore the fact that, that would be like turning water into wine for someone like me.

* * *

**-*Edward*-**

It was Friday morning, and shockingly, the week had passed without any further peaks in drama or confrontations in the house. Work had actually been amazing. Bella and I had definitely found our groove when it came to working at the orphanage with the kids on our own. Even Esme had praised us numerous times, and on every occasion it would make Bella smile like I'd never seen. She was really enjoying our time at the school and I could tell the kids felt the same way about her. Especially Bree. Those two had become inseparable. Even at home I'd catch Bella talking about that little girl as if she were part of the family.

The other minor upgrade that had made this week such a breeze, was that Bella and I had also shared her bed every night since our conversation in the pool with my skateboard, but things never went past some making out or heavy petting. I wouldn't complain, even though I'd developed a serious case of blue balls after last night's teasing session with her fingertips. It was more than I could have hoped for, and I would take whatever she was willing to give without pushing for more before she was ready.

Bella had also been making an obvious attempt to sit down for more meals with the rest of us, and not only that, but she was actually eating. They were smaller portions, but it was still more than I had seen her ingest in one sitting since we'd all arrived in South Carolina.

Choosing to share my own fucked up past with Bella was a risky decision. I had gone back and forth about it the entire drive back to the house from our camping trip, but in the end I decided it was better to let her know that for once, she wasn't alone. It turned out to be liberating, letting her in like that. We seemed to connect on an entirely new level, and that was exactly what I had been hoping for.

"So are we all down with going out to the beach bar tonight?" Alice asked bringing my attention back to the table where we were finishing up a delicious vegan breakfast Bella had prepared for us.

"Fine with me," Bells spoke up first, making me smile a little to myself. I couldn't help it. The fact that she wasn't going to argue that we go to Voluri's instead made me grin like a mother fucker.

"Okay great, then let's try to head out around eleven okay?" James suggested after finishing his last bite of fruit on his place.

"Yeah, if we all make it out alive after taking the monsters to the aquarium." Rose scoffed before dabbing her mouth with her napkin.

"Oh come on Rosie, you know you're dying to see the Dolphins and their impressive blow holes." Emmet toyed giving her a playful tickle below her chin which landed him a slightly less playful jab right to his ribs.

"Well Lord knows I'd like to see something impressive. All I've witnessed are let downs since stepping foot in this town." she taunted without missing a beat. I watched Bella hide her smirk and felt my own smile betray me over the sight of her short lived grin.

"Oh come on guys. The aquarium will be awesome. I can't wait to see who the special guests will be! I hope it's a movie star!" Alice squealed before making her way around the table to collect every ones plates.

It was my turn to do the dishes, but I was grateful when James offered to lend a hand at the sink. I watched Bella sneak off into the computer room after visiting the bathroom and let out a quiet huff, realizing that she'd indeed been a little quieter today than she had been all week. I hated that I was already turning into one of those paranoid types that thought everything had to mean something… when in actuality it probably didn't mean a damn thing at all. I couldn't help it though. It had been such a great week, I knew it was only a matter of time before something, or someone, shook things up again.

It had been far too quiet and pleasant.

The producers had to be panicking.

"Things still going good?" James asked, already implementing his magical mind reading powers while he rinsed the dishes, and I dried them beside the sink. He always seemed to know when things were running off course.

"Yup, pretty damn good. She's been a little quiet this morning though."

"I think weekends make her nervous. Too much free time to think."

It didn't take long for me to realize his theory was most likely, absolutely, spot on. It annoyed me only slightly that he'd figured that out before I had. "Yah… you're probably right," I admitted with a frustrated huff.

"She does seem to be doing better though. Maybe getting it all out there was what she needed. Now that she knows she can't hide her eating issues from us anymore, she has no choice but to straighten up again. You know?"

I nodded my head agreeing with him and finished drying the last plate before excusing myself to go upstairs. I wanted to grab my board. I was going to need a few hours of skating before we headed into work today. I was craving some time alone with my thoughts, because I had about a million things running through my head at the moment. I wanted to plan something special, but I had to find a way to work the system. It would be important to get it right… without having to share it with all the world.

If Bella needed a distraction to help keep things on track then I would give her one she wouldn't ever want to forget.

* * *

When we got to the school, all the kids were already lined up in their groups standing in front of the buses that would take us across town to the ribbon cutting ceremony for the new exhibit at the aquarium. From what Esme had told us, the kids had voted on what they would like to see added. No one knew what it would be, so everyone was pretty excited. I could have sworn I heard a few of the boys placing bets with their candy stash earlier in the week.

"Ms. Bella, I get to sit with you on the bus _right_?" Bree requested after running up to greet us with a smirk sneaking past her lips.

"Yeah, sure kid. Just get back in line before Mrs. Esme sees you." Bella warned then flicked the rim of the little girls baseball cap playfully before leaning into my shoulder. "Guess you missed your chance to ask me to sit next to you, M&M."

I loved it when she teased me, but I loved it even more when she would do it while biting on that bottom lip of hers and I had a feeling she knew that. She was unfortunately catching on to almost all of my weaknesses these days.

"That's ok, I get you in my arms all night, Rock Star. I can share with your biggest, littlest fan." I assured her, then threw her a wink which instantly turned her cheeks a slight shade of red just before she rolled her eyes in response.

"Alright. When we get to the aquarium we will unload the kids and go in together. We're scheduled to tour the facility before the big unveiling and ribbon cutting ceremony, so please don't wander off when we get there. And please remember to be on your best behaviors. You are representing more than just yourselves today. Make me proud!" Esme yelled into the bullhorn with a smile. The kids all cheered in response and then instantly began boarding the buses with excitement in their voices.

I took the seat in the back with Irina and offered her a smile when she poked my shoulder with her finger flirtatiously. "So you guys going out tonight?"

"Yeah, to the beach bar I think. How about you? Any exciting plans?" I knew what she was hoping for. She wanted me to invite her to meet up with us again. I had big plans for Bella and I though, so there was no way I would even suggest it. It wouldn't be fair to her, and I was in no way looking to fuck up our working relationship, even if we weren't actually working together with the kids anymore. It still wouldn't be a wise thing to do. As unlike me as it was, I only had one female on my radar these days.

She happened to be as broken as a shattered piece of glass, but I was determined to be the one to piece her back together again.

"No plans. I'll probably stay in and rent a movie... unless something more exciting comes up."

_Awkward._

"Huh, well… who knows… maybe today's special guest will be some famous dude looking for a local girl to take him out around town tonight." I joked casually, trying my best to act oblivious to her desperate hinting.

"Hah… yeah. Maybe."

I redirected my eyes up the row to where I could see the back of Bella's dreads, leaning against the window of the bus, where she was sharing a seat with Bree. The little girl was talking about something wildly with her hands moving all around, and for a moment I smiled realizing that her actions reminded me a lot like Bella's.

When we got to the aquarium it didn't take long to get the kids off the bus and lined up with their buddies. Bella told me she would take the back of the line and that I should take the front with Irina. I grimaced wishing she would have suggested her and I stay paired up, but accepted her suggestion without arguing. I already knew my disappointed expression had given me away just by the look of her smirk.

"We will have plenty of time together over the weekend, M&M." she reminded me with a wink, and like that I felt like the worlds biggest love drunk fool. She literally had me wrapped around her damn finger now, and it was just about killing me to admit that.

I'd only ever felt this helpless one other time in my life, and that time had not ended on a positive note, so being this vulnerable again was scary as hell. I never would have thought I'd find myself here again so soon, but here I was… and there she was… smirking at me like I'd just had a mini tantrum over having my damn lollipop taken, all because of her suggestion that we remain separated for a little while longer.

_Grow the fuck up Cullen. She doesn't want a pussy whipped boy, she wants a man who can take care of himself and not be so fucking needy of her attention._

Meeting her best friend Jake had shown me that much.

* * *

**~*Bella*~**

After spending the first hour and a half touring the aquarium and all the different exhibits, Edward and I had finally managed to settle our group into their seats for the ribbon cutting ceremony. When I scanned the room I saw something out of the corner of my eye that caught my attention for a moment. I squinted to make out the figure standing behind the curtain on the stage but couldn't make out the face in the shadows. I could tell there were three men in business suits, but that was it.

"Esme, who is the special guest?" I asked on impulse, catching my boss as she just happened to walk by my seat.

"Oh, I'm not sure. I had requested someone who might inspire the children, but they never told me who they finally got for the event. I'll go see if I can find out," she quickly informed me before moving down the walk way to the second grade group, who was currently shouting about something smelling like farts and boogers.

What a booger smelled like, I couldn't tell you, but they were all insisting that such an odor was currently invading their sense of smell.

"So, I have a plan tonight, to ditch the cameras when we head out to the bar. You in?" Edward's voice suddenly whispered in my ear, breaking my stare from the curtain area.

"Um, yeah. Sure. I can always use a time out from Big Brother." I replied casually. I couldn't allow my excitement over the idea of being alone with him again become too obvious. That would be a mistake.

"Perfect. I think you'll like it,"

"Oh, I'm sure I'll like it." I replied with a wink just as a man's voice invaded our eardrums on the microphone creating instant feedback over the speakers.

"Sorry about that. Hello, my name is Richard Cody and I'm the head curator here at the Aquarium. I would like to welcome the media and our very special guests from Their Place, who without we would not be here today opening this wonderful new exhibit."

My attention was swiftly stolen from the man on stage by someone grabbing at my shoulder forcefully, "Bella, I need you to come with me," a very stressed looking Esme whispered forcefully in my ear after grasping my arm firmly to lift me up from my seat.

"What? Why? What's wrong?" I asked startled by her sudden mood change. I'd never seen her so serious before and instantly thought I was in trouble for something, but for the life of me couldn't figure out what I might have done.

"Just please, come with me. I need to speak with you in private. It's important." she pleaded with desperation looking back and forth at me and the stage almost frantically. My own eyes followed her stare towards the speaker on the stage, just as two men appeared from behind the curtain. The sight of them knocked the wind out of me and for a moment it felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked from the room.

"No… no _fucking_ way," I whispered to no one but myself, unable to believe what I was seeing in front of me.

"Bella, let's go talk. I didn't know. I had no idea. They just told me and,"

"What are _they_ doing here? Is this a joke?" I asked, my eyes narrowing with anger as my nails dug into my palms of my clenched fists. "_He's_ the special guest? The one who is supposed to motivate the children? A crooked politician with zero family values? Oh that's just laughable." I yelped standing up from my seat. My grandfather's eyes met mine, and for a moment it was nice to see his own bewildered expression turn his face a pale white as he grimaced over the sight of me. The icing on the cake though, was seeing Riley who stood just behind him with his mouth also wide open unable to believe his eyes. He was still obviously working as my grandfather's right hand man after all these years.

After he'd disowned me, his own granddaughter, for being a naïve teenager blinded by love and lust, my grandfather had kept on the adult who had lied to the both of us.

I glanced at Edward, not surprised to find his own face with a shocked and confused expression plastered across it over my very loud and public outburst.

"I can't… I can't even believe this is happening." Without saying anything else, I turned and walked as fast as I could to the back of the room where a red EXIT sign called to me, offering a safe escape from all the bullshit that had just been dropped in my lap. Riley himself looked as though he was about to vomit his entire lunch all over place, when I'd glared my eyes in his direction. Of all the people in the world, this is who happened to be in South Carolina today?

There was no way this was coincidence. I refused to believe it.

"Bella, stop! Please slow down!" Esme called after me once we were behind the closed door in the stairwell.

"This was the show's doing wasn't it? There's no way in _hell_ this was all chance. What the fuck is he even doing in South Carolina?"

"He's campaigning. I know you try your best to forget his existence, but he's on a very short list to be the next republican presidential candidate, Bella. As far as who is responsible for this, I'm not certain, but your accusation is completely just."

"Well I hope they got the reaction they wanted. Fucking assholes."

"Bella Swan!"

"Sorry. You just have no idea what the sight of him," Riley's face flashed into my memory, "and HIM do to me!" I mumbled before leaning against the wall, closing my eyes with the palms of my hands pressing firmly against them.

"I have an idea, but no I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to go through all that with people you trusted, and at such a young age." I opened my eyes surprised by what I was hearing. How much did she really know about me and my past? Apparently much more than I had thought possible. I suppose she had every right to dig up my history though, since I was working with children whom she cared a great deal about.

"I could have lived the rest of my life without ever seeing their faces again, and that's what I had planned on doing."

"Well dear, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but like I said, your grandfather could very well be running for president in the next election. Never seeing his face again would have been a very hard thing for anyone to do." Esme replied with a crooked smile.

"He's such a close minded, arrogant, _dick_."

"Oh, I completely agree, but that's because I am a diehard, registered democrat." I smiled for a moment unable to keep a straight face over her words.

"I can't go back out there without causing more of a scene than I already did."

"I don't expect you to. Irina will help Edward with the group. Go take a walk and meet us at the buses in an hour."

"Thanks Esme."

"You're welcome, but Bella… It's not good to run from something for the rest of your life. Eventually you will have to confront your past in order to keep moving forward with your future,"

"Yeah well… I'd rather run till my legs give out on me than ever talk to that man again." Esme smiled and nodded her head then turned to leave me with my thoughts in the stairwell without saying another word.

I closed my eyes again willing the mental image of their faces to disappear from my refreshed memory, but it didn't help. All I saw was Riley's shocked expression and my grandfather's cold stare. I couldn't wait to get back to the house to give the producers a piece of my mind in the confessional.

No.

I couldn't do that. That's what they wanted. Just as that realization settled, I let out a loud sigh and continued down to the first floor so I could go sit in the dimly lit room that surrounded the shark tank. I figured it was as good a place as any. The last thing I needed was sunshine and singing birds for the mood I was in.

I'd been caught completely off guard, but the last thing I wanted was to give anyone the satisfaction of getting under my skin… but at the same time, I also didn't want them to think I was too weak to stand up for myself. I had to be stronger than that. I had to show them that they hadn't crippled me. My grandfather had only assisted in making sure I would become a strong, independent woman, free from his reign and judgment.

So… it made perfect sense that I should remind him of that… in a very public way.

Quickly, I pulled my dreads up to tie it into a wild pony tail at the top of my head, then made my way to the elevator that would take me back to the floor where I knew I would find everyone.

I was a bit relieved to see that the unveiling was over, and the crowd had descended upon the new exhibit. From what I could make of it, it looked to be a fruit bat exhibit and the children sounded very excited about that. I knew Bree would be happy because that's what she had told me she'd voted for.

I smiled for a moment thinking about her delighted expression but even that couldn't take all my anger away.

My eyes slowly scanned the room. It didn't take me long to spot my enemies across the way huddled in deep conversation. Upon further exploration of my surroundings, I spotted Jasper with his camera already focused on me and Edward with Esme looking on disapprovingly just before I forced my way through the sea of people with purpose clearly on my face. I'd been bottling up these words for far too long, and it was time I expressed just how fucked up I had been treated by my own flesh and blood. I didn't give a damn that it would all be caught on camera. This was his own fault and they both deserved every word I was about to unleash upon them.

I was a mere ten feet away when two men wearing dark sunglasses took me by the arms to guide me backwards in the opposite direction.

"Miss, you need to come with us."

"Like hell I do! Take your slimy hands off of me!" I yelped, freeing myself from their grasp for only a moment.

"The Senator is not meeting with people at the moment. He's being interviewed." the taller of the two informed me with a straight face.

"Oh shut up. I'm his damn granddaughter. He _WILL_ see me." I informed him with a manic laugh escaping past my parted lips. The man looked a bit taken a back as his head looked me up and down carefully. I couldn't see his eyes from behind his dark shades, but I was sure he was studying my unkempt appearance… ergo he did not believe a word I was saying about being related to the grand senator.

"Bella, let's go." Edwards voice pleaded after he appeared out of nowhere beside me.

"You know her?" the body guard asked with a grimace.

"Yes, I'll take her." he assured him after placing his own hand around my forearm to remove me from the strangers' grasp.

"Keep her in line would you. We won't hesitate to have her arrested if she continues to try and harass the Senator. She's been warned."

"Oh fuck you very much, and fuck the prestigious Senator. He can go to hell, him and his lying, cheating, statchatory raping assistant!" I yelled as loudly as I could. At this point, I'd definitely succeed in gaining the attention from not only the room but also the media cameras.

A part of me couldn't wait to catch the evening news.

"Bella. Hush. Let's go," Esme ordered taking my other arm to pull me back towards the exit once again, "I thought I told you to take a walk."

"I changed my mind and decided it was better to finally express my feelings and stand up for myself." I mumbled after tugging my arm free from both her and Edward's grasp.

"Was that who I thought it was?" he asked looking overly concerned and helpless over the situation that had just unraveled in front of him.

"Yup, my asshole grandfather and the man who was apparently more important to keep in his life than his own granddaughter. Even though, HE was the adult who pursued a minor!" I yelled with anger pouring from every part of me.

"The other guy with him… following him around like a little puppy dog. That's Riley?"

"The one and only."

Edward looked furious and now it was Esme's turn to hold the both of us back.

"What the hell, how does that happen?" he asked shocked, as if I'd have the answer.

"Guess the producers were getting bored. My meltdown last weekend had apparently run dry and they needed to shake things up again. Am I the only person in the house they want to see standing on the edge of a cliff every week?" I hollered looking towards Jasper who had followed us into the other room. Edward glared in his direction and gestured for him to stop filming.

"Ok, you both need to calm down. We have to get on the bus to take the kids back. Can you please act like the adults I know you are and forget about the adults they apparently are unable to be?" Esme pleaded. "You two can head home when we get to the school. Let's just calm down and focus on the kids, ok? You're the role model Bella. As hard as it might seem right now, I need you to forget about all the emotions you're feeling at the moment and focus on being here for the kids. Can you do that for me, or should we call you a cab?"

I let out a frustrated sigh and took in a deep breath. "Yes. I'm fine. I just need to get away from their disgusting faces." I muttered after a few seconds then took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Let's go. I'll meet you guys down stairs at the buses." I promised before making my way back down to the first floor. She was right. I needed to act like more of an adult around the kids, but in order for me to do that I also needed to remove myself from seeing my grandfather's face again, or that just wouldn't be possible. No matter how hard I tried.

Once on the bus, I sat in the seat I had shared with Bree and prayed that Edward would know better than to try to question me about anything before we were back at the house. I wasn't looking forward to seeing my group after the way I had behaved, but I would do my best to explain my actions without sharing too much of myself if any of them should ask me about it.

I was thankful when no one did.

Esme had obviously instructed them to mind their business. Edward only offered me a smile, and Bree took my hand into hers and gave it a squeeze before resting her head against my arm beside me. No words were exchanged but her action meant more to me than anything anyone could have possible said.

I couldn't wait to get home.

I couldn't wait to pour myself a drink.

Without a doubt, my grandfather's people were in panic mode trying to figure out how they could spin the story that would be headline news tonight. I'd said enough without hardly saying anything at all, and even someone like me knew how damaging that could be in his world. I'd been trained from a very young age to never speak out of turn or even speak at all when cameras were around, unless of course I'd been given a script to follow. Just another reason why I'd made my grandparents more and more nervous the older I'd gotten.

"Ms. Bella?" Bree's voice called out quietly after I'd begun to walk towards Esme's office when we'd gotten back to the school.

"Yeah Bree?"

"Whatever he did… I'm sure he regrets it now. He seemed really sad when he was talking to us on the stage after you left the room."

I could tell she had chosen her words carefully but it still didn't take the heartache away. She herself had been disappointed by her own family members. If anyone in the world could understand, it was her, but I wasn't about to open up to a child about my messed up past, even though she was offering to listen in her own innocent way.

"Thanks Bree. Have a nice weekend." I replied, unable to think of anything else to say. She nodded and turned to run and catch up with the rest of the group. I had to wonder how much easier it had been for her to forget all of her let downs.

When you grow up not knowing any better, not expecting anything else from day one, then there was never anyone you had to work hard at forgiving. For the first time since starting at the school, I realized just how lucky some of these kids actually were, and that more than anything hurt my heart.

* * *

**A/N: Nothing like jumping right back in with some heavy drama huh? If you are still reading this you have no idea what it means to me that you haven't totally written me or my story off after my extended hiatus. It feels amazing to be back and I hope you will return for the next chapter. I have every intention to do bi-weekly updates with this story till it is complete.**

**So... what does Edward have planned for Bella? Will his surprise be ruined now that Bella's past has once again showed up to haunt her, or will it be the distraction she needs?**

**Who is ready to meet Vic? *smirk***

**Anyone watching the new season of The Real World on MTV? I'm kind of loving the cast already! **

***Please Review... I'll send you a little something extra as a super BIG thank you for returning as a reader, and not giving up on me!***


	18. Breaking All the Rules

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: Don't hate me. You can be mad at me. I'm mad at me too, but please don't hate me, or take it out on this story or my characters. Mommyhood proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated when it came to finding time to write. I'm both happy, and sad to share that my baby is now one. A toddler, yikes! The good news is that she's finally going to bed at a decent hour and staying asleep which means I am now able to commit myself to writing again. Regularly. And also enjoying a glass or two of wine! Praise Jesus! This story is permanently off Hiatus and will be complete within the next 5-ish chapters. For those waiting for me to continue TMF. It is next, just as soon as I wrap up here with Rock Star and M&M. I promise to stick with it this time and I already have chapter 19 just about ready to send to my amazing beta Riss! So much love to her for editing this chapter, and to Lolypop82 for her fabulous manips (you can find the links on my profile page). I sent a 2 part outtake to those who left reviews for the last chapter, if you reviewed and did not receive them please let me know. A few people were logged on as guests or had their PM's disabled. This chapter is rated M for dirty words, dirty thoughts, and dirty (but sweet) citrus. Without further delay, lets tune in to this weeks installment of, It's Real Life.**

* * *

**Breaking All the Rules**

**Chapter 18 **

***~Bella~***

The Taxi ride back to the house with Edward was thankfully quiet. He just held my hand while I stared out the window replaying the afternoon's disaster over and over again in my head. I still felt completely betrayed by the producers of the show. It seemed logistically impossible that today's event had been absolute coincidence, and every fiber in me knew I had to make them pay for what they had done. I couldn't decide how I would handle my revenge, but it would be epic and most likely go down in the It's Real Life history books.

I was beyond pissed, and definitely not in the mood to have a camera on my heels for the rest of the day.

Truthfully I couldn't imagine being able to make it through the rest of the day without destroying every camera that focused itself on me.

_Do I let them have it in the confession room… give them more overly dramatic Bella to air on television, or do I go about the rest of my time here without ever saying another word about my grandfather or his prick of an assistant. _The choice was mine, but I already knew better than to think I would make the right one. I'd proven to myself time and time again that well plotted actions were not a strong point of mine.

In a way it was actually kind of shocking. Seeing Riley had angered me, but at the same time I really could have given two shits about him. He just didn't matter anymore, and if I were being absolutely honest with myself, I would have to admit Edward was to thank for that. He'd successfully shown me that just because Riley was the world's biggest douche bag, he had not actually ruined me from ever randomly opening up to a man again. I was no longer entirely broken… just damaged, but currently under construction thanks to the man who was sitting beside me, holding my hand in his, but also still giving me the space I needed.

When we got back to the house Edward paid the cabbie and quietly escorted me up to the front door. I didn't know what to say, because I still wasn't sure what I wanted my next move to be.

No, that was a lie… I wanted to be alone, and away from the cameras, but not alone without _him_. I hated to admit it, but I needed Edward, and more than anything I needed him to once again help me forget all the ugly that made up my actual _real_ life.

Unfortunately there was a camera guy already waiting for us as soon as we walked through the door. I should have known better than to think we might get a few minutes to just talk with only the corner cams rolling from a distance minding our personal space. After all, the producers knew I'd run from my past just as soon as it threw itself in front of me. I was apparently, that predictable.

"Can I fix you a drink?" he offered, instantly leading me towards the kitchen. I glanced up into his eyes and caught a smirk that made me smile in return. It only lasted a second, but it felt good knowing he could still do that for me.

"No. I'd rather just grab Jane and go lose myself for a few hours." I admitted, feeling a bit proud of myself after turning his offer down for the easy way out. Truthfully, I was dying to down three…okay maybe five, quick shots of vodka but I didn't want to allow my absurd inability to navigate my emotions win so quickly.

"Want company?" he asked quietly. His tone was giving me the chance to say no, but that wasn't at all what I wanted. I needed him close by today. That scared me a little… admitting that to myself, but it was true. I was thankful to have him as a distracting option.

"Of course. You're not getting out of leaving work early that easily M&M." I teased, forcing another smile in order to put on my best game face for the camera.

"I was hoping you would say that," he shot me a wink and then took off upstairs. Once he was gone I made my way to the living room area where I had last left Jane on the couch before taking off for work this morning. I eyed the computer for a second. I couldn't really write to the guys about this, because even though they knew my grandfather and I had a falling out, I had never told them the entire reason why. Edward was still the only person in the world who knew about all that ugly, and I wanted to keep it that way for just a little while longer. Besides, I knew once the story got picked up they would eventually be bombarding my inbox themselves.

"Ready?" his voice suddenly prompted, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to smile in his direction and nodded my head while linking my arm through Jane's strap and tossed her behind my shoulder.

"Very much so, my fingers are twitching." I made my way past the annoying camera guy who would be tagging along and instantly wished it had been Jasper who had been waiting for us at home. He hovered, but not like these other guys. Jasper would get his fifteen minutes then give us some space. Unfortunately, the ratings hungry suits that ran the show had apparently caught on to that.

I was surprised when Edward softly slipped a torn piece of paper into my hand, while we walked down the sidewalk, with the cameraman a few feet behind us. I glanced up at him, he shot me a wink then gestured with a head nod for me to discreetly read it. I narrowed my eyes in his direction and slowly glanced behind us. Thankfully the tag along hadn't even noticed the exchange.

_Nice move Cullen. _I thought to myself with a smirk thrown his way.

I slowly opened the paper in my palm and read his perfect handwriting. It always amazed me to read something his hand had written. The boy had the prettiest damn penmanship I'd ever seen.

_When we get to the school and I dive in on the pool with my board, make up an excuse to go find a bathroom. Go west from the entrance, three streets over and there will be a cab waiting for you. It will take you where you need to go and I'll be there shortly after. Camera dude will stay with me, I'll lose him. Don't question me. Just do it. _

I looked at him confused but all he did was smile and stare straight ahead avoiding my eyes.

He was up to something.

Whatever it was… I was excited… and ready… and more than willing for an adventure.

Anything to help me forget today and get me away from _Big Brother_.

We casually made small talk as we approached the school. I was teasing Edward over Irina's obvious flirtatious behavior while we were at the aquarium earlier today, but he of course denied any such thing. His expression however, told me the exact opposite. He had indeed caught on to the poor girls desperation and had apparently found it quite amusing that I'd also noticed. I liked Irina. I really did, but the further my walls crumbled, the more I found myself wishing I could like her a little less especially when it came to her crushing on my roommate.

"Alright, well I'm going to go do a few runs in the pool." Edward prompted, pulling me away from my discouraging thoughts about how Edward deserved someone more like our coworker, instead of someone like me… someone who had a history for inevitably running away and breaking hearts.

"Um ok… I actually need to go find a bathroom. I'll be right back." I replied, following our impromptu script.

He shot me a quick wink and quickly jumped on his board to head towards the empty cement pool. Doing a fancy kick flip along the way, he caught the camera guys attention… giving me the getaway I needed. I repositioned Jane behind my back, resting her strap over my shoulder then scanned the area to make sure there was no undercover back up hiding behind some bushes before beginning my casual speed walk three blocks away.

Sure enough when I arrived at my destination, there was a yellow cab waiting right where Edward said it would be.

I peeked down into the open window and narrowed my eyes at the long haired driver who I found smirking in my direction, "Um, hi?" I croaked out, surprising myself.

"Hello Ms. Swan. I've been instructed to take you across town. Please get in." the cabby informed me with a creepy, yet strangely friendly smirk.

"And where might you be taking me exactly?"

"Well that is a surprise Ms. Swan. Please don't make me spoil it. Your friend would be very disappointed."

"My friend huh?"

"Yes. Mr. Cullen? He is a friend of yours I hope?"

"He is."

"Oh good. I didn't need to take part in any kidnapping schemes. Ok then, please get in. I'm on a strict schedule with even stricter instructions," he insisted with a smile and wave of his hand.

"Are you now?" I questioned, again eyeing my surroundings suspiciously.

"I am. I assure you, it's a nice surprise. You are very fortunate to have a friend who would plan such a surprise actually."

I let out an exasperated sigh and opened the door to slide into the back seat setting Jane down beside me. "Is it a long drive? I only have five bucks on me. I hadn't really planned on being abducted by a cab this afternoon."

"Not far at all. Nothing is a long drive in this town, and your fare has already been paid for in advance. This was a well-planned _abduction_."

I smirked at his response and nodded my head in agreement, "Okay then, take me to where ever it is Mr. Cullen has decided to have me taken to. How in the world did he arrange all of this in a matter of minutes?"

"I suppose its ok to share that this had been planned since yesterday, he just moved the time up on me. Lucky for him, I was sitting downtown as free as a bird when he contacted me."

"Huh, yeah? In that case, what time was all this supposed to go down exactly?" I questioned, beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed.

_When could he have possibly had the time to arrange all of this without the show catching on? And what had possessed him to do it? Did he have some kind of future reading secret power that he hadn't told me about? How could he have possibly known I would need to sneak away like this?_

"It was supposed to happen later tonight, that's all I'm going to tell you. I don't want to ruin anything because it's obvious this guy has worked hard to plan something particularly special for you. Now hurry up and strap yourself in before the cameras descend and catch us making our getaway."

I narrowed my eyes at him but followed his directions. After buckling my seat belt, I leaned back against the seat with a quiet huff escaping my lips.

I was kind of bummed I wasn't actually getting a chance to set my fingers on Jane, but not entirely devastated. If I were to be totally honest I was a bit giddy with excitement. Random adventure was an even better distraction. I would most definitely be rewarding him later, even if all we did was sit on the beach for the rest of the day. Getting away from the cameras was exactly what I needed most, and he somehow knew that even before all hell broke loose this afternoon.

_He really does know you better than anyone, doesn't he Swan. Perhaps that's worth focusing on, and accepting it for what it is?_

I was surprised when we pulled up in front of a large three story Victorian home with beautiful iron work along the outside balconies. I squinted to make out the sign, John Rutledge House Inn, was in scripted above the large doorway.

"Here you are. I was instructed to drop you off here. Introduce yourself in the lobby. They are expecting your arrival," the driver informed me with his deep southern accent and a sly wink.

"But, I…"

"Just trust me. Go inside and tell them your name. I called ahead to let them know we would be early." he told me after opening the side door. He offered his hand to assist me with my guitar and after a few seconds I reluctantly accepted.

"I'm going to kill him. We're going to get into so much trouble."

"Not my problem. I was just told to leave you here. Enjoy your stay. This is a very historic site here in Charleston. They say George Washington himself stayed here."

"Swell, another lying politician." I couldn't help but make a snarky comment. It was, after all, a bit ironic.

I tossed Jane behind my shoulder and tugged securely on her strap before thanking the driver one last time for his assistance in my great escape.

He nodded and gestured for me to get going with a sweep of his hand, "Off you go now."

I rolled my eyes and made my way up the steps then slowly allowed my feet to take me to the front desk. A young woman was already smiling at me with a ridiculously phony grin smeared across her pretty face.

"Good afternoon Ms. Swan. We have been expecting you. Joey will be showing you to your room."

"My room? He seriously got a room here?" Yeah, the shows producers were officially going to flip their shit over this. We were breaking all kinds of rules, but they deserved it, so that basically meant I didn't give a damn.

"Yes. Mr. Cullen has reserved one of our best suites. After you've gotten yourself comfortable please feel free to take advantage of some room service." I smiled in return and nodded my head, still feeling absolute shock over Edwards' surprise. No one had ever done anything like this for me before. I was always the one splurging for my friends. This was entirely new… being the splurge-e. It was something I could see myself actually getting used to.

I smiled at the bell boy and followed him to the elevator where we stood silently staring at one another. He was hiding a smirk so I told him to spill it as soon as the doors shut to take us up to the room.

"You're a part of that reality show right?"

"Yup. Unfortunately. If you tell them where we are, I'll hunt you down and junk punch you. Let that be your warning. I need this time away from all that shit."

He released a stoner sounding chuckle, then gestured for me to exit the elevator in front of him after the doors opened to an elegantly decorated hall way. "Your secret is safe with me."

"This place is old huh?"

"Yes, but recently renovated. You got one of the best rooms. Really nice, and a great view. Make sure you order the chocolate cake from room service. It's fucking awesome."

I smirked at his word usage and he immediately apologized. "Seriously, do I look like I give a fuck if you use the word fucking?" I toyed allowing him to relax.

"Hah, true. Well is there anything I can get for you before I go?"

"No, I'm still trying to wrap all this around my head. I don't even have any pajamas with me. Or a tooth brush."

_Pft, like you'll be needing pajamas, Swan. You know you'll be taking full advantage of there being no cameras to catch you in the comfort of wearing nothing at all with Mr. Magic Mouth._

"There's a small shop down in the lobby that can probably get you anything you might need. Well, enjoy your stay. Don't forget about the cake!"

I laughed and shot him a thumbs up, "How could I forget about the cake?" I teased then casually set Jane down against the wall by a large fire place beside the ridiculously huge four post bed with a crazy amount of pillows stacked on top of it against the wall.

As soon as the bell boy was gone I made a run for the bed and belly flopped onto the soft mattress with my legs and arms spread wide open. I hadn't laid on a King size bed in weeks and it felt amazing to stretch out and hug one of the huge pillows to my body. I laid there for a moment with my eyes closed tightly till the memory of my grandfather's face flashed before me. His shocked, then heart broken, then stern face. It caused my heart to ache and my chest to feel heavy all over again.

"No. You are not giving him the satisfaction. He disowned you. He's the one who banished you, and your memory from ever being mentioned again in his presence. He is not worth your emotions."

_Buck up, play your damn guitar, and stop feeling sorry for yourself stupid girl. _I silently demanded before allowing my tears to escape past my eye lashes from behind the pillow pressed against my face.

"He doesn't get to win." I sternly added as I stood up from the bed to retrieve Jane and settle myself in front of the fire place that was already burning and asking to warm my toes and my slightly dampened nose.

There was no telling how much time had passed but I was still sitting on the floor in front of the fire place strumming on Jane when Edward finally arrived with a huge grin on his face. He looked beyond pleased with himself.

One would have thought he'd just ended world hunger based on his beaming expression.

"You're insane." I muttered refusing to let him see my own pleased smile. He looked panicked for a moment till I let out a quiet laugh just before I stood up to launch myself into his arms. "Thank you. This is exactly what I've been needing, especially after today."

"Well, to be totally upfront. I'd had this planned before all that chaos. I just had to move up our check in time instead of having us lose the cameras tonight when we went out to the bar. This actually works out much better. Gives us more time away from it all, plus it will be hard for them to be too mad, since they'll know they deserved it after setting you up the way they did at the Aquarium," he explained while resting his chin at the top of my head, still holding me securely against him.

"This is true. I just can't believe you arranged all of it. No one's ever done anything like this for me. I'm usually the one doing all the grand gestures and spoiling my friends."

"Well in that case, I'm glad I could finally be a _first_ for you." he softly replied before tilting my chin up towards him with his index finger.

"It's about time you found a cherry _left _to _pop_," I giggled and stood on my toes to bring my lips to his, not wanting to waste any time to kiss him as though he'd just rescued me from drowning in the sea. I kissed him so that he would have zero doubt that I meant it when I thanked him again after I'd removed myself from his arms. "Seriously though, this is amazing, Edward."

"I figured we could both use a time out from the cameras and that house. It's only for the night, I didn't want to risk getting us into too much trouble." he explained after sliding his hands down to my hips to keep me standing in front of him but making it possible to look me in the eyes.

_Gah, his eyes. _For a moment I could have honestly believed it was entirely possible to live the rest of my days in the reflection of his eyes, and never feel anxious or lost again.

"I brought a bottle of your favorite, and the mini fridge should be stocked with mixers. Can I fix you a drink?" he offered with a smirk after smacking my ass playfully when I'd started to walk away to retrieve Jane from where I'd left her beside the fire place.

"Maybe a small one. I don't want to get wasted and pass out for the rest of the day." I replied with a smirk. It was, after all, still early. We literally had the entire day left to hide away in our swanky hotel room all alone. I wanted to take full advantage. I wanted to walk around in my underwear, play music on my guitar, smoke cigarettes on a real balcony where I could see and smell the ocean, talk without thinking first, and just _be _without the need to be _on. _

"Sounds entirely do-able. I'll order us some food, and you go get lost with your BFF for a little while." he ordered with softness in his eyes. I nodded my head in agreement and kicked off my khaki work pants so I'd be comfortable in nothing but my hoodie and panties. I saw his smile instantly grow at the sight of my bare legs and blew him a playful kiss after swatting at my bottom playfully.

"Just a sneak peak for tonight's grand finale," I teased. He laughed and shook his head, then warned me he had big plans for that as well.

"I'd expect nothing less, M&M."

* * *

The sun was finally setting on our perfect afternoon. Edward was currently down stairs getting us two tooth brushes and other necessities from the gift shop. I'd stayed back to continue strumming on Jane out on our balcony looking for inspiration.

"Wow, that's some view." his voice stirred me from my seat, and I turned to cast him a crooked smile before nodding my head in agreement.

"Nothing like back home though," I admitted with a sigh. One of my favorite things to do back in Oregon was go out to the big meadow field with the guys and lay on our backs while we watched the sky change from day to night. We would all lay there and talk about nothing, but in those moments it was everything, and only now did I realize just how much I needed and missed that.

"You're not thinking about leaving early are you?"

His question took me by surprise but I didn't need to think it over. "No. I'm here till the end. Through good times and bad," I mocked with a snicker before setting Jane down beside my chair and stretching my legs out in front of me with a quiet groan. We'd spent almost all day out here talking, sitting in silence, or with me strumming on my guitar while he sat back and listened with various facial expressions escaping his lips and eyes from time to time. With the setting sun I knew what was scheduled next though, and I'd be lying if a part of me wasn't a bit nervous…. and also ridiculously excited.

"Have any requests for the curtain call, Edward?" I softly asked bringing a fresh smirk to his face. He leaned in closer to me and pulled back one of my locks that had fallen in front of my shoulder, then kissed my neck softly with his lips, before grazing the side of my cheek with the back of his hand.

"You know I love everything you play for me."

"Yeah, yeah, you're my biggest fan. Pick something. I feel like I've played out everything already today." I replied with a roll of my eyes, even though his touch had successfully sent goose bumps across every limb of my body, his sweet words still made me nervous.

"Something from Dashboard. Your choice… no wait… let's make this a little more fun. A song that makes you think about _me_ when you hear it."

I leaned back and stared at him with my eyes narrowed over his slightly random request. I knew this could be dangerous. Truth be told there were lots of songs that made me think about Edward. Hell, lots of EVERYTHING made me think about him these days. Today had been especially debilitating when it came to my ability to keeping a fortress up around him.

Without thinking it over any longer, I snatched up my guitar from beside me and began strumming the cords to the one song I'd been craving to play all day. I knew there was a good chance I'd express just how true the lyrics were when it came to the man who had stolen me away from everything that had threatened to tear me down earlier this afternoon, but in that moment… none of that mattered anymore.

I took in a deep breath after closing my eyes tightly and with slight hesitation began to sing the words that went along to the music, my fingertips created from the strings of my guitar. "Breathe in for luck. Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed. You share with me. This night is wild. So calm and dull. These hearts, they race, from self-control." I could feel a smile creep across my lips changing a few of the lyrics to suit the role reversal and heard him laugh lightly to himself just before I broke into the chorus. It was the scariest part of the entire song and the only way I would ever possibly be able to verbally admit some of the feelings he had managed to elicit from me. "My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I'll die happy. My heart is yours. To fill or bust. To break or bury. Or wear as jewelry. Whichever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember. I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled with your fingers," I smirked again, because he had absolutely done that to his auburn strands several times today while we'd sat around the room talking about bullshit that had nothing to do about anything in order to relax my mind from over thinking the ugly I had run away from. He'd gone above and beyond trying to distract me with random conversation and I'd loved and enjoyed every second of it. "…. and you stood at the door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it, that you meant it…. That you meant it. And I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it." I strummed the last chord gently then slowly peeked through one eye in his direction unsure of what to expect. He was straight faced but staring intently right at me. I felt my teeth suck in my bottom lip on impulse and nervously bite down as I lifted my other eye open to look him square in the eyes and shrugged lightly.

"Yeah… so… now is when you either applaud or _boo_," I nervously teased.

"You just blow me away every time you sing, Bella. All I can think about right now is taking you in my arms and kissing you…. like I mean it." He toyed keeping the conversation light just like he knew I would want him to do.

_And that is why you're falling Swan. He knows what you need. He knows you. He is everything you've been looking for._

… _and everything I've been running from my entire life. _I swiftly reminded the pestering voice in my head as I stood up to once again close the gap between us so I could sit myself in his lap allowing him the opportunity to hold me against him. I knew he was craving it just as badly as I was so there was no point in stringing things along. I'd sung my feelings to him. Exposed myself the only way I knew how, and now it was time to reap the benefits of finding the strength to be 'that girl'. I'd regret it in the morning, but I refused to let that fact ruin this moment.

His lips kissed my neck gently, tracing my exposed shoulder blade after pulling the fabric of my hoodie to the side, allowing him access to my bare skin that he was craving to nibble at gently with his teeth. As soon as he turned me around to straddle his body on the lounge chair I brought my mouth to his so I could taste him with my lips while my fingers got lost in his wild hair. His kiss was electric. How it was possible to feel both on fire and still have goose bumps across every limb of my body at the same time… it seemed insane to me but I couldn't deny that being in his arms like this… almost entirely sober… it was also slightly terrifying.

I could feel his cock pulse beneath me and the action made me grin against his mouth, while our kiss continued to carry me further towards forgetting all of my rules and regulations. I pressed myself against him and circled my hips above his pelvis eliciting a moan from him that caused me to repeat the action several more times while our mouths continued to collide with fevering need for more of one another. His hands worked their way to my ass pressing me firmly against him once more before impulsively lifting me up in his arms to bring us inside where the warm fireplace and bed were already awaiting our return.

"No cameras." he reminded, after laying me down gently on the mattress with a devilish grin.

"Those are two of the _sweetest _words you have ever said to me, Edward Cullen." I teased before sitting up in front of where he stood before me. I reached down to pull my shirt up over my head after slinging my sweatshirt across the room, then smiled at the sight of his eyes slowly scanning my body, taking it all in.

"You're so unbelievably sexy. You have no idea…. the things I want to do for you…. to you." he informed me as he reached out to cup my face between the palms of his hands.

"Oh, I have a pretty good idea." I toyed before lifting my arm out to grasp the outside of his jeans where his massive hard-on was already gasping for air. He moaned over my touch then pushed me back against the bed so he could remove my panties, since the only other articles of clothing I had been wearing were his hoodie and a thin t-shirt. When he rose back up from my feet I grasped the bottom of his own shirt to raise it up and over his head. Smiling at the sight of his meticulously designed bleeding heart tattoo I traced it with my finger tip, before allowing him access to my lips. Once his mouth was against mine I raised my leg up to help me slide his jeans down past his ankles and reached for his throbbing cock between the opening of his black boxers. "Fuck, you're already _so_ fucking hard Edward."

"And as usual, you should absolutely take pride in that fact, Bella." he answered between nibbles on my neck and ear lobe. I groaned after hitching my leg up higher around his waist, craving to have him inside of me, but wanting to make this last all night long. We'd barely begun but I was already feeling overwhelmed with the thought of it all being over. It had been so long since I'd been able to just let myself go entirely. With a camera always watching, I hadn't even realized how suppressed I had been demanding myself to be. He touched the side of my face with his right hand and forced me to look him in the eyes as his left hand slowly made its way down the center of my stomach, past my belly button, then continued south to delicately graze my moistened pussy with his fingertips before taking my bottom lip between his teeth. "Fuck being on this goddamn show anymore. I want to take you away. We can run and never look back. Just me and you Bella."

"And a bed." a teased with a wicked grin while closing my eyes to enjoy his tender touch while his hands meticulously explored every inch of my body.

"I guess we would need a bed, it's not entirely necessary though," he replied before suddenly lifting himself off the mattress and grabbing me by the hands to pull me up with him. I let out an impulsive girly giggle as he slapped my ass and guided me towards the sofa back beside the fire place. "Let's see if all your yoga has paid off, Rock Star," he challenged with his hungry expression highlighted by the flames burning a few feet away in the fire place. I smirked and slowly lifted my leg so it would rest easily at the top of the sofa's back then seductively ran my hand down my belly to trace my clit longingly before his eyes. He growled and dropped to his knees before me, wasting no time to taste the excitement he had created between my legs. I grabbed onto his hair and felt a tremor take over my entire existence as his tongue lapped at my lady parts meticulously with severe precision.

"So fucking good," I moaned closing my eyes to see the star bursts he was creating with his every touch. "You-are-unbelievable!" I squealed feeling a bit panicked that he was already causing my body to quake. "Slow down. I'm not ready to come, Edward." He followed my cue and bit down softly on my tingling clit then slowly ran his tongue across my parted entry three more times, before standing up and helping me return my elevated leg safely to the ground.

"Just so we're clear, there will be multiple name screaming moments this evening, Bella." he warned with a smirk, while lowering his opened palm between my legs to elicit yet another gasp from me.

"I don't doubt that one bit, and would be disappointed by anything less." I challenged as I slowly took his hands to guide him around to the other side of the sofa, "I just want to get a little more comfortable is all. We both know how clumsy I can be," I informed him before taking a seat on the couch and slowly raising both my legs up to position my feet on the sofa cushion beside my hips. I motioned for him to get down on his knees before me with a point of my finger, then requested he return his magical mouth to my center that was still tingling over his previous touch.

"With pleasure." he replied grinning with his response before attacking my body once more with his tongue and lips. I groaned feeling his finger slide in and out of my opening between his skilled mouth and rounded my hips over him following the rhythm he was creating, bringing me closer and closer to my release.

"Fuck, I'm coming. I- Jesus- Christ- Edward! I'm coming so hard!" I panted as he sped up his own delivery with my every word. My entire body repeatedly quaked around him as he slowed his pace and removed his fingers from inside of me. I smiled looking down at his pleased expression as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You taste better and better every time." he informed me with a smug grin, "Please, let's just run forever. You and me. Fuck'em all."

"Shush, and get up here, Cullen. The only person I plan on fucking is _you_." I shared not really wanting to talk about the future. All I wanted to do was live in the now, and enjoy our stolen moment. Enjoy being his and him being mine, without anyone else watching or panting over the idea of rating hikes at the sight of our apparent need and desire to be one with each other in the most intimate of ways.

"Is that a promise?" he toyed, taking a seat beside me on the couch and pulling me up to sit in his lap. He wrapped his arms around my naked body that was still trembling over the orgasm he had just forced upon me and I buried my head into his shoulder.

I couldn't help but smile at his hopefully expression, but it was short lived because I knew what it was that he was actually asking. "Hush." I prompted before turning myself around to face him. I slowly raised my body up to hover over his lap on my knees then instructed him to remove his boxers. He managed to wiggle himself free with me seated above him and I moaned at the sight of his flawless cock. "You that you have a beautiful cock, Edward." He smirked then pressed his back further into the sofa cushion as my hand began to stroke his cock from where it stood between my legs. "Like unbelievably flawless." I added before slowly removing myself so I'd be able to position my body in front of him with my knees on the ground. He moaned again and grasped the back of my head with his hand as I brought my lips to the tip of his mushroomed head. I lapped up the drop of excitement that had already escaped him and let out my own hungry moan before taking all of him into my opened mouth. It was hard not to smile over the sounds coming from my roommate as I slid my lips up and down every last inch of his perfection. There was literally no better sound in the world than the sounds of a pleased man. When that man happened to be someone like Edward that only doubled the euphoria I felt while pressing my lips against his delectable cock.

"Ok, okay… slow down. Please. Fuck…. Get your ass up here Bella. I need to be inside of you. I want to feel every inch of you around me." he shared with a groan as I removed my mouth and hand from his absurdly hard member.

I smirked and wiped my mouth with my hand then slowly stood up before him to motion with my finger that he follow me and my naked body back to the bed. He smiled and followed my prompt without hesitation, instantly attaching his hands to my hips to drawl my back up against him as we continued to walk forward in unison. I could feel his cock pressing itself between my ass and moaned. Slowly I slide my hand over his at my hip and began moving it across my belly and down towards my dampened pussy that was still trembling from the mouth orgasm he had unleashed just a few minutes ago. He moaned, feeling the residue of my excitement and pushed me down onto the bed as soon as we were within safe distance.

"On your hands and knees, Rock Star."

"Is that an order?" I toyed tilting my head down to send my dreads cascading across my shoulder blade.

"Order. Demand. Whatever you want to call it. Just do it." he answered climbing up beside me, his eyes feverishly scanning my body in the candle light as I slowly crawled to the center of our giant bed.

He wasted no time to slap my ass as soon as he positioned himself behind me where I was waiting on my hands and knees with my legs slightly spread. He forced them further apart and I moaned as his ran his fingertips across my swollen clit. "Fuck me Edward. Like you _mean_ it." I whispered as he latched his hand onto a handful of my locks. He tugged my dreads forcing my head back so I'd look at him then slid his free hand up my left thigh and further positioned himself at the gap between my legs. He rocked himself forward and I moaned in ecstasy feeling his cock push itself inside of me with delicate care.

"Fuck, you feel so fucking good, Bella." he moaned releasing my hair, to grab at my hips with both of his hands. I moved my weight forward onto my own hands then eased back against him, taking charge for a moment with our rhythm. He slapped my ass with force, and I lurched forward then back into him again as he moved his body in precision with mine. We kept at that pace for a few blissful minutes before he pulled himself out of me and instructed me to roll over onto my back.

"Missionary position? No cameras and you want me on my back?" I couldn't help but tease him. I was feeling far too high on lust and need to stay quiet and behave.

"I want to look you in the eyes, Isabella. I want to see you. All of you." he replied before hiking my knees up so my feet would be up beside my sides. I traced his sternum with my finger tip and grabbed his wet cock with my hand to drawl it back towards my opening.

"That's typically a rule breaker for me, Edward." I informed him, with a moan escaping my lips after he dipped down to take my ear lobe between his teeth.

"Fuck your rules, Bella. There are no rules tonight." he whispered with absolute control in his tone before leaning back so he could stare straight into my eyes. My hand made its way to the nape of his neck as I looked into his emerald green eyes. With our foreheads now pressed against each other and our stare locked, I felt his cock once again penetrate me in ways no man ever had. Never once did we break eye contact except when needing a moment to blink in ecstasy as our bodies molded into one.

"Christ, Edward. If you…. goddamnit. Harder! Don't stop!" I moaned feeling my body begin to lose itself. "Shit! I'm coming." I warned him, still looking him straight in the eyes.

"Good. Me too. So-fucking-hard!" he grunted with one last thrust then fell on top of me and instantly rolled my body against him onto our sides. I could hear his heart beating rapidly against his chest and the sound made me smile like a lust drunk idiot.

"You are seriously the best sex I have ever had." I impulsively shared instantly feeling slightly embarrassed over my verbal diarrhea.

"I'm glad you feel that way. You are the best _everything_ I've ever had." he replied running his hand up and down my thigh that was still draped across him.

"If I could steal this moment, I would play it on repeat forever. Life could be good. Right. Perfect." I shared, then frowned immediately hating myself for my returned careless honesty.

"We can still run Bella. Just say the words. I'd follow you anywhere."

"Running never works. Eventually the ugly catches up. All I need are these moments. If you can give them to me, then…. Then we just might have a fighting chance." I replied feeling very sleepy all of the sudden.

"A fighting chance at what?" he asked against my ear. His breath sent goose bumps across my body so I increased my grasp against him and pulled the covers up around us.

_Careful Swan. Tread lightly with your response._

"At _everything_." I whispered then nuzzled my head further against his chest and let sleep surround me because I knew much more talking would only lead to more than wanted emo sharing pillow talk… and that was the last thing I needed. This evening had ended far too perfect. I wouldn't let myself fuck that up now with my psychoanalytical ramblings.

No. That would be good for no one. Especially Edward.

* * *

**~Edward~**

It had been an amazing night. Nothing could have been more perfect about it. I'd successfully turned it all off and shut out all the bullshit she was so desperate to run from. I'd done that so that she'd finally find the strength to be one hundred percent herself with me without worrying about what tomorrow might bring.

Even though I knew better than to believe she would wake up this morning the same person she had been when I'd kissed her goodnight, I was okay with that.

It was an unbelievable feeling to be able to be the person who could pause all those feelings of distrust and hurt, to take so much heartache away, and allow someone to just breathe again without feeling as though there were a boulder lying on their chest, threatening to choke the life out of them.

I wasn't stupid enough to believe I'd cured her after only one evening away from the cameras and watchful eyes. No, I'd woken up this morning realizing that last night was only one stolen moment.

The best thing about last night?

Because of that stolen moments I believed that I had at least successfully shown her that it was ok to let me in, and hopefully by doing that I'd also helped her realize that I really would never let her down or walk away from her, even when things got ridiculously ugly and real. I would be there for her today, tomorrow, and the next day. I would have been there for her yesterday and every day before that if she'd have let me.

Now it was up to Bella to fully accept that the connection we shared, really was worth risking it all for. Would she let me be the person she needed me to be for her without worrying about all the 'what-if's' that every relationship came with, or would she continue to fight the reality of it all? The way she had looked at me before falling asleep in my arms, in that moment I would have bet everything I had in the bank that she was ready to let her walls down and forget about her ridiculous rules, but waking up this morning I knew better than that.

"Morning Mr. Delicious." her voice teased from behind me where she was still lying naked in our bed.

I smiled and turned my own body around to face her then fell back to bring her into my arms. "Good morning, Rock Star," I teased, then brought my teeth to her ear lobe to nibble gently. She growled playfully and swatted my chest with her opened palm before pressing her face into it bashfully.

I loved seeing her blush. I loved seeing her smile. I fucking loved finally seeing her let her guard down with me. There was no better feeling in the world. Well, besides feeling her body quake around my cock while she violently came over my every move that took over her every limb.

Like I said. Last night had been amazing. One that I was sure neither of us would be forgetting. At least not anytime soon.

"Should we get room service for breakfast?" I asked lifting one of her dreads from her face so I could bring my lips to her cheek.

"Sounds like a fabulous plan. How long do we have the room for?"

"I'm sure I could get us a late checkout. Its Saturday, we have nowhere to be." As soon as I finished my sentence I saw a look of discomfort cross her face. "Oh. Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Kind of. I'm supposed to meet up with Demetri to sit for some pictures," she confessed as she reached across me to retrieve her cell from the nightstand beside the bed. "Not till two though, so we're ok."

_Pictures? What kind of pictures? -You know what kind of pictures Cullen. Don't be stupid, and don't you dare press for more pussy whipped information. The girl will close up on you all over again if you start acting all papa bear on her so soon._

"Gotcha, well I'll make sure you're where you need to be on time. How about some banana-na pan-a-cakes?" I asked looking to change the subject before I said something I might regret. After last night, I didn't want to share Bella anymore. Not at all. That, however, was not to be admitted out loud otherwise Bella would run all over again. I couldn't have that. It was just no longer an option. My only hope was that she too would be done with all the games and ready to settle down and give this… give us… a fair shot.

_Welcome to being entirely under her control Cullen. You have successfully become the exact person you vowed to never be. Fucking swell. _

I kissed her forehead doing my best to ignore the pestering voice in the back of my head. I pulled her back down to rest her ear against my chest so I could hold her body firmly against mine for just a little while longer, then reached for the hotel phone to call down for our room service.

Bella was fairly quiet most of the morning, especially while we ate. I wasn't blind and had painfully noticed the fact that she'd swiftly retreated into the bathroom to 'shower' after finishing her plate. I'd unfortunately begun to connect Bella's latest habit of disappearing into a nearby restroom after almost every meal these past few days. It had taken James to make me accept that what I feared might be going on, was indeed what was actually going on. It was only a matter of time before Rose would take it upon herself to point out the obvious. Bella had to know that, so I wasn't too worried. Only aware and taking mental notes in order to prepare for the fall out that I knew was coming.

At noon we headed out hand in hand down to the lobby of the hotel.

"Thanks again for an amazing evening away from it all, Edward. You really are my very own Knight in Shining Armor. If you hadn't gotten me out of there… I'm not sure how or where I'd have woken up this morning. Last night was… seeing you look at me… like that," she paused looking down at the elevator floor, nervously biting at her lip for a few seconds then slowly smiled. "It was the most perfect night of my entire life," she finally finished then impulsively threw herself against me wrapping her arms around me tightly as she purposely whispered something else I wasn't able to make out. I stood there holding her against my body and felt my own smile grow ridiculously huge before gently kissing her forehead and responding with a soft, "You're welcome, Rock Star."

"I'm glad I could do that for you, Bella. I hope you'll start letting me give you more perfect nights, and mornings. Hell, entire days for that matter. You deserve so many more. So much more." I quietly shared just as the elevator doors opened in front of us ending our moment. She wriggled free from my arms then offered me a crooked smile that let me know she didn't agree with my statement, but there was something about the sparkle in her eyes this time. She was starting to consider that I really was a true option for her. That we could be something more than what she was comfortable with us being. "You own your own future Bells. No one else. You can make it whatever you want. Your past doesn't decide that for you. If you remember nothing else, please just remember that your mistakes are not who you are." She smiled and nodded her head. She lifted my arm up to place herself underneath it so she could walk safely pressed against me once we headed outside to catch our cab. The cab that would take us back to the house and the audience of cameras we had come to know… and hate so much. We still had a month and a half to go. I'd meant what I'd said last night. At this point all I wanted to do was kidnap her and run. I knew we would have a fighting chance if that were possible, if things could be that easy. Unfortunately with her, things would never be that easy. Even though it felt as if so much had changed after the night we had just spent together, I wasn't kidding myself. I knew better than to truly believe it would be smooth sailing from here on out.

* * *

When we got back to the house we were immediately summoned to the confessional room, but Bella just as swiftly told the messenger boy that he could let the assholes behind the scenes know they could go fuck themselves softly with a barbwire baseball bat. The poor kid looked like she'd just kicked him in the nuts, but I only offered him a shrug of my shoulders then continued passed him to quietly follow my roommate into the kitchen where the rest of our housemates were standing around with their own, 'what the hell?!' expressions.

"We took the night off. Sorry if we worried you. I needed to get away." She told them as she poured herself a glass of water from the fridge.

"It's cool. We figured as long as Edward was with you all was well," Emmett spoke up, stealing a nervous glance in my direction. I nodded my head letting him know everything was as ok as it could be and saw his shoulders relax with my action. Two of my housemates however were sending me signals that something was not right. I narrowed my eyes at the sight of James motioning with his eyes and a slight head nod for me to meet him out back. I waited till Tanya had Bella's full attention, asking her about some dress she had in the closet that she was hoping to borrow that night, then followed him through the glass doors out onto the porch.

"What's up?"

"I guess its fair to say you haven't had the TV on or seen a newspaper?"

"No why? Who the hell reads a newspaper anymore? We never even turned the TV on last night, and we came straight home after checking out of the hotel. What's going on?"

"Its all over the news. Her grandfather's people… they aren't painting a very pretty picture of Bella and her history that involves him."

My fists instantly balled up at my sides as his words settled. If this was true, it was bullshit and it had the potential to ruin most, if not all, of the progress Bella had managed to make since escaping the cameras with me. "What do you mean? What are they saying?" I'd never felt more thankful over there not being a TV in the house.

"His people are spinning the story saying that she's mentally unstable with a history of drug abuse and attention seeking behaviors. That she has a vendetta against the _great _Senator because he tried to help her kick her rebellious habits after he found out she was trying to pursue his much older, and married aide. Instead, she chose to leave the family and start her own _misguided _life filled with _substance abuse, promiscuity _and _partying_. The closer being that she did a recent stint in a mental hospital just a few months ago."

"You have to be kidding me! Who the fuck does he think he is?! That's a lie! That asshole went after Bella! She was just a naïve kid! And it wasn't a mental hospital it was a clinic for people with fucking eating disorders!" I was livid. This was unbelievable to me. That a man would let these lies be spread about his own flesh and blood just to save his own political career. The same man who had taught Bella how to play piano years ago, and who she had once considered her best friend when she was a child. He didn't even deserve to be related to Bella by blood, let alone claim to be a caring family member. "This could knock her right back on her ass, James. We can't let her find out."

"Well how do you propose we do that? That's like trying to take a magic wand to erase her eating disorder, which is also still a major problem. Or are you still in denial about that? She needs help, Edward. Things are only going to get worse again and you won't be able to keep saving her from herself."

I stood there and narrowed my eyes in his direction, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we need to get a hold of Jacob and Paul so they can get out here and hopefully bring her doctor with them. If you really care about her, you will see that I'm right. It's the best option. Till then, we need to try and keep her inside the house and off the computer."

"Fuck."

"What?" James pressed looking past me back into the kitchen.

"She has plans with Demetri. He's supposed to take some photos of her or something. I haven't really asked her about it. She just mentioned it to me this morning. I can't just tell her she shouldn't go. She will just think I'm being jealous, and controlling."

James stood there staring at the ground, obviously trying to devise a plan in his head.

"Does everyone else know?" I asked realizing how terrible some of our housemates were with keeping shit to themselves a lot of the time.

"Yeah. We were downtown when the story broke across the news crawl on all of the TV's in the bar we were at."

"Fucking fabulous." I muttered to myself as I ran my hand nervously through my hair. I stood there considering all our options over and over again in my head, even though I already knew what needed to be done, I wasn't ready to follow through just yet. If I had any hope in a future with Bella, it meant keeping my promise to always be honest with her and never do anything or keep anything from her that could potentially hurt her. It would be especially devastating if she found out everyone knew but her, and we were all keeping it a secret. "I'm just going to be honest with her. I'll tell her. You call the guys in Oregon and let them know what's going down and to stand by."

"Edward, I don't think,"

"I don't care what you think, James! I know her better than anyone else. Telling her is the right thing to do. She needs to know, and she needs to process it and react the way she wants to. She has to feel in control of it all or else she will crumble even harder." I explained before throwing my fist at Emmett's punching bag that was hanging beside us. "Fucking bullshit, motherfucker. God help me if I ever cross their path again!" I grumbled under my breath before turning to walk back inside without waiting for James to respond.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked interrupting the conversation she and the girls were sharing in the living room. They all looked at me with their own concerned expressions, but I didn't bother to return their glances. My attention was focused purely on Bella and no one else.

"Um, yeah sure. Demetri will be here any minute though so hopefully it's nothing too epic," she joked casually as she stood up from the sofa. I tried to smile but she immediately took notice that I was forcing my action and raised her brow at me as I took her by the arm to walk her upstairs to our bedroom.

There was no telling how hard she would fall from this, but I knew there would be a hiccup on her path to recovery. The path which I had worked so hard to help her with last night. A part of me believed that she knew what was coming. That part of me was now hoping she would be strong enough to stay standing in order to show everyone that she was tough enough to hold her head high, and prove she wasn't that weak person the media was currently trying to portray her as being.

Deep down, I knew it wouldn't be so easy, but I still had hope that she would prove everyone wrong.

"Spill it," she muttered as soon as we passed through the beaded curtain hanging over our doorway. "did he send a restraining order?"

_Well at least she's already thinking it has something to do with her dick of a grandfather. _

I took in a deep breath then reached out to gently touch her arm with my hand before carefully speaking my words, "Bella, apparently…. It seems his team has released a statement saying some horrible, untrue, things about you. It's all over the news." She stiffened under my touch but said nothing, just starred past me towards the window where Jane was resting comfortably against the wall.

She was already looking for an escape.

Finally after a few seconds of silence she let out a huff then shrugged my hand off of her arm and walked to retrieve her stringed companion.

I watched her set Jane into her hard case and snap it shut. "Bella?"

"I'm fine. It doesn't mean anything to me. _He _means _nothing _to me." she spoke up avoiding my eyes. Unfortunately I knew she wasn't being honest. She could pretend all she wanted, but I knew better than to believe this news didn't hurt her. "What's he saying? Wait, let me guess. I'm a spoiled drug addicted, home wrecker, right? A history of mental instability? He did everything he could to 'save me from myself' but I wouldn't have it?" she was still avoiding my eyes, which was a blessing because I hadn't done a very good job at hiding my shocked expression over how accurate her guesses had been. "It doesn't surprise me. He would say whatever his people told him to say if it meant saving his reputation, and his position within the all mighty Republican Party. I'm ok Edward. I mean it. He can say whatever he wants. It's ridiculous to try and go up against him. In his eyes, that is who I am, and I could honestly give two shits."

"Bella… its slander. He's making you out to be,"

"It doesn't matter. Look at me. One glance and of course his story becomes absolutely believable. Yes, I am who I am because of the daughter _he _raised, and the choices he led me to make while I was being molded then ignored under his roof. Deep down he knows that, just like I know deep down some of what he's said about me is true. I'll have my day, and when that day comes he will regret ever turning his back on me."

"What are you going to do?" I asked already concerned about what she was plotting in her head.

"Right now? Right now I'm going to grab my bag and Jane to go meet Demetri downstairs."

"_Bella, _I don't know if that's the best idea. Maybe you should lay low for a few days. Decide how you want to handle this, and then make your own statement to the media." She looked at me, laughed, and shook her head in disagreement.

"I'm not hiding. I'll continue to live my life, Edward. The _media _can go fuck itself into tomorrow for all I care. If he wants to poison my name, nothing I say can change that. It's how this shit works. All I can do is live up to the expectations of being a royal pure bread fuck up because we both know, that is factually who and what I am."

"That's not true. Stop with the bullshit. You are not that person."

"Oh, but I am. It's seriously time you realize and accept that, Edward. I know you think I'm some broken fragile thing you can fix, and yes we have our perfect moments where it seems impossible to believe my reality is what it is, but at the end of the day I will still go to bed being the same fucked up person I woke up being. I'm selfish, spoiled, heartless, and hell bent on poisoning any and all relationships that might ever turn around to knock me on my ass."

"You can't really believe that. You're not afraid of being knocked on your ass. You're afraid of admitting you can be and deserve to be happy. You're afraid that someone might convince you that you're worth something."

"Jesus fuck! I'm so sick of having this goddamn conversation with you! You. Can. NOT. Fix. ME! I don't need, or want that from you. All I need from you is a good fuck from time to time to help me forget my name and the rest of the world. Nothing more. You have my permission to share all my skeletons with the rest of the house. Might as well, seeing as though I really have no more secrets around here when it comes to my life outside of this godforsaken place. It's better they at least know the truer side of it all and not think the absolute worst of me."

Her words stung, especially after everything we had said to one another while lying in bed together just last night. It was insane how quickly her entire outlook could change in a matter of minutes. It was almost frightening because this was not who she had shown me she could be just thirty minutes ago, or during all of our shared moments from just last night. "Those aren't my skeletons to share, Bella. If you want them to know, you can tell them. I'm done. I'm tired of trying to prove to you that you are someone who deserves respect. Someone who deserves everything, but more importantly someone who is worth loving and who _is _loved. I'm tired of walking on egg shells with you. If you need to hear me say it in order to process it then fine. I love you. Broken parts and all, I have fallen in love with you, and its time you fucking realize and accept _that_, Bella."

She stood there with a blank expression falling across her face just before narrowing her eyes in response over my affirmation. If looks could kill, then I would surely be lying dead on the floor in that moment.

"Don't be an idiot Edward. It's a huge turnoff, and you have no idea what the hell you're saying. You can never just let things be can you? You always find a way to make it that much worse," she mumbled then brushed past me to leave me all alone in our room. It was the first and only time in my life I had ever told someone besides a family member that I loved them, and she had just treated it as though I'd told her she was the most despicable human being to ever walk the planet. I knew she didn't mean it, not entirely, but it still didn't take the sting away.

_And now she was off to spend the day with someone who would absolutely take advantage of her fragile state. Way to once again fuck up a good thing, Cullen._

* * *

_**A/N:** _**Don't be too mad at Bella. Remember she's scared of being vulnerable to her feelings again and Edward definitely made her feel last night. Any excuse to run and she's going to use it and take off without thinking first. That doesn't mean she won't regret her words. She's just trying to maintain what wall she has left.**

***Please review, as thanks I'll have a outtake to share from the day Edward and Bella spent sitting around the hotel room and it's pretty fluffy. **

**- Lastly, thank you so much for reading, and not giving up on me. You have no idea how much that means to me. **


	19. Under the Influence

**A/N: Were you surprised to see a update notification so soon? If your were I totally don't blame you. I really am back and committed to banging out these last chapters. A warning, things get heavy in this chapter and there will come a time where you will most likely get pissed and want to throw something at your computer or your hand held device. Just keep going. Trust. Bella does a lot of growing up but not before taking a small tumble. If you reviewed the last chapter and did not receive the outtake please let me know. I kind of fell in love with it (the outtake) and wish I would have included it in the actual chapter. Lots of fluffy banter between M&M and Rock Star. If you did not review but would like to see it it's not too late to go back and hit that review button to receive it. *wink*. **

**This chapter is rated M for language, and a slight taste of citrus. Alright, lets get down to business.**

* * *

**Under the Influence**

**Chapter 19 **

**~BELLA~**

My legs couldn't carry me out of that godforsaken house fast enough. Thankfully, my afternoon distraction was already waiting. Demetri was propped up against his fancy, 'I have more money than I know what to do with' car, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a smirk on his face.

"Hey gorgeous, ready to sit pretty for me?" he asked after pulling his passenger side door open.

"You have no idea. Hopefully you have a plethora of illegal substances waiting for me too." I replied with a blank expression still feeling numb from the conversation I had just run away from. Who did _Edward _think he was? Saying those things? Telling me what I should believe, and how I should react. He didn't know shit. This was nothing new, and it certainly was not a surprise. It was absolutely expected. About as predictable as telling someone that the sun would set this evening and rise again come morning. I grew up with this political smoke and mirrors bullshit. This bullshit is what had created the person that was, Bella Swan-Eternal Problem Child-Granddaughter of Satan Himself. If Edward thought I'd collapse over the news that my name was being dragged through the mud then he obviously hadn't been paying attention. Now more than ever, I was both ready and one hundred and ten percent sure that I wanted to sit in front of Demetri's camera. Hell, I was ready to do more than just take some tasteful seminude photos for a pay-to-view site. I was entirely willing to do a full spread for Hustler with a goddamn expose article attached to it. I'd let every dirty secret out. Tell the world all about what it was like growing up with a family who knew absolutely nothing about what true family values were... all while they pretended to have written the book on them.

"Ha! I think I may have just what you're craving." Demetri assured me with a sly wink before closing the passenger door beside me. I smiled and leaned back in the leather seat before taking in a deep breath. I was already feeling excited about the opportunity to soon feel absolutely absent of the emotions that were bombarding my reckless and impulsive mind. "Rough day?" he asked once taking his own seat behind the wheel.

"Don't play dumb, I know it's all over the news. It's garbage. The man is scum, and he means nothing to me. He got about fifty percent of his story right though, the rest is pandering narcissism. Can I see your phone? I want to Google myself."

"Oh yeah? Which parts were right?"

I smiled already knowing he knew exactly which parts I was talking about as my eyes scanned the first article that popped up, "Well I can assure you, I didn't _try _to seduce a married man, and my grandfather never attempted to maintain our family bond. He wrote me off as soon as I began pushing my boundaries. The rest… well the lines blur with the rest," I laughed lightly and shook my head realizing how ridiculous it really was that my grandfather would even bother to waste his time to address my existence in this much detail to the media. His people must have discovered that my outburst could have actually had the potential to take him down a notch or two in his bid for president, or they wouldn't have even taken the time to come up with such a creative statement to release.

"You don't strike me as the home wrecker type, Bella."

"Well I'm glad you think so. So, where are we heading for this afternoon's adventure?" I asked wanting to change the subject.

"My place, then depending on whether or not the sun decides to come out and play we may head over to Aro's for some shots on the beach."

"Sounds like a plan." I replied blankly then glanced out the window. I watched people walking up and down the town's quaint main street smiling and stopping to look in the store front windows without a care in the world. Once again, I found myself hating them. I hated that I couldn't be one of them. Someone who just lived life without a tormented self-image and beaten up inner dialogue constantly driving them towards self-destruction. It just wasn't fair. I'd run my ass across the country and still my baggage had somehow managed to follow me.

"You sure you're ok? If you'd rather just hang out away from it all, and do this another day, I'm totally cool with that."

"I'm fine. I just need a drink and some pot." I assured him with a forced smile and a quick wink before shifting my weight to bring my legs up underneath me, "How are things with you and Tanya?"

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, "She's a lot of fun, but that's it, I'm not looking to go steady. I mean we're both only into each other for the sex. Why, did she say something to you?"

"No, just that you're amazing in bed and have the biggest dick she's ever seen." I laughed watching his cheeks flush then impulsively teased him about it while I brushed the side of his face with the back of my hand. "I believe her exact statement was that you had successfully touched her in places that had never been touched before." He smirked and rolled his eyes before informing me he'd be happy to show me just what she was talking about if I were really all that interested. "Oh I bet you would be more than happy to play show and tell. I'm afraid I'll have to take her word for it though. I have enough drama in my life. The last thing I need to do is fuck one of my roommates own fuck buddies." I warned him with a playful shove just as he pulled up in front of a little one story home on stilts, with an absurdly tall red fence wrapped around it, and yellow shutters on the windows.

"Aw, why not. She fucked one of yours on your little camping trip a few weeks ago." Demetri replied, catching me by surprise.

"Wow! She told you about that?" I was shocked.

"Yeah, she was trying to rev me up one night when I was giving a football game more attention than her. So you see, sweet Bella, all is fair in the _friends with benefits _war. You more than anyone should know that."

It was my turn to roll my eyes at Demetri, "Cute place," I mumbled instantly feeling desperate to change the subject.

"Thanks. This is home base. I own this one but I have a few places around the country for when I go scouting."

"Right, right. The internet business is booming." I toyed before pushing my door open with an extension of my arm. I watched him grab my bag for me from the back seat then let him hold the gate open. I followed him past the tall picket fence towards the steps of the front door. His yard was gorgeous, and very secluded. Wild flowers were somehow still in bloom at every corner and the grass was the greenest green I had seen in quit sometime. Off to the right there was a small vegetable garden, and then in the back I saw thick rose bushes with every color rose imaginable in bloom on the branches.

"This place is like a wonder land!" I exclaimed in awe of my surroundings.

He smirked and shook his head. "I'm glad you think so since that's the theme for some of your shots."

"Love it!" I squealed already feeling a little more excited about today's shoot.

"I picked out a few things for you. I hope you don't mind. Did you bring the plaid skirt outfit we talked about?"

"Yup, and the white lace corset."

"Perfect. Let's get you that drink, and I'll show you to my medicine cabinet of mind numbing fun so you can pick your poison."

"All I want right now is a shot or two of Rum, and a joint. Nothing fancy."

"Coming right up then." I watched him disappear into another room of the house and took a seat on the black leather sofa in the center of the room before taking in a deep breath and closing my eyes. Unfortunately, Edwards' words were still ringing in the back of my head. As badly as I wanted to forget everything he had said, I just couldn't, and I was currently hating him for that.

He was only the third person in my life to ever say he loved me in a more than, _you're my best friend and I'm really glad we get to fuck, _kind of way. The first was douche bag Riley, who obviously never meant it, then came Jake. With Jake, I had made the mistake of laughing at his declaration just before calling him an ignorant asshole and leaving for the airport to come out here for the show. Sure I told the guys back home that I loved them all of the time, but it was different with them. They knew what I meant, and I always knew what they meant when they said it back. They loved me as a friend, someone they would do anything for, but they knew better than to ever state it and have it mean something _more_. Jake broke that rule, even after all our counseling sessions with Dr. Banner. He ignored everything I had said and still shoved his heart down my throat, all while knowing I could never and would never be able to reciprocate those feelings.

I was beyond pissed that Edward had felt the impulsive need to say something so ridiculous. He didn't love me. He loved the girl he thought he could rescue from herself. I wasn't that girl. I would never be that girl, so it was moronic that he could think he was actually in love with me.

I desperately needed to erase the memory of his shattered expression when I turned to walk out on him and his wasted, unwanted feelings. I needed whatever it would take to forget that I had indeed succeeded in doing the very thing I had known all along I would do when I'd agreed to let things 'just happen' with my roommate.

"Here you go. Two shots and a bonus chaser." Demetri announced interrupting my thoughts. I smiled watching him set a tray down with three shot glasses filled to the rim with a caramel colored liquid.

"Hah, thanks bunches." I quickly shot all three back at my lips one at a time as if they were filled with water, then watched him light a nicely sized joint at his lips with a red lighter. He took a deep inhale then handed it over to me, leaning across the small coffee table to close the gap between us before exhaling slowly.

"Enjoy babe. I'm going to go set up the room for your first round. You'll find some things in the bathroom over there waiting for you to try on. Pick your second favorite then come find me when you're ready and we can get started. You'll find some eye drops in there too. We don't need you looking all freshly baked in your shots." he teased lightly with a wink before standing up in front of me. I nodded my head and agreed then took myself, and the burning joint, into the bathroom he had pointed out to me.

I smirked at the sight of tiny bikini panties, a few lace thongs, some sexy bras, and knee highs with garter clips in almost every shade of the rainbow.

_More decisions. Are you really sure this is something you want to do, Swan?_

_Yes. It's a different kind of a distraction. In a way… it's healthier than my usual preferred distraction. Jesus. At least I'm not craving his cock between my legs or in my mouth. _

_And what does that mean exactly? That you're not craving mind numbing sex from another man that's not the man who just proclaimed his love for you?_

_Shut it!_

I picked up a pair of bright yellow panties and fingered the tiny silk bow tied off at the center that would sit perfectly, right above my ass then decided those would do with a cute black bra and nothing else.

_Let's start out simple and work our way up, shall we?_

I nodded at my reflection in the mirror then took another drag from the joint I'd set down on an ashtray. After removing my street clothes and slipping into the lingerie, I smiled back at myself and added a yellow bangle to my wrist. I took one more puff and held it in my lungs for as long as I could then exhaled and headed out to find my photographer.

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr. De-ville." I announced after locating Demetri in a dimly lit room in the back of the house. He had one of my favorite bands playing on the stereo and some random candles cascading light off the black painted walls.

"Jesus Christ, you are fucking gorgeous Bella! You're going to bring so much traffic to my site."

I could feel my cheeks flush over his compliment, before I reminded myself to roll my eyes and act as if he'd just told me the world was round. "So I hear," I replied with a smirk, "Now, where do you want me?"

"Let's start with you in the doorway over there, just do whatever feels natural. Is this music ok or would you prefer something else? Aro told me you like this group, he gave me a few other suggestions so I have my ipod loaded with stuff."

"No, Sleigh Bells is fine." I replied quietly, finally feeling the alcohol, and pot start to work its blissful magic on my inner deranged dialogue.

Silence truly was golden.

"You look much happier than you did in the car on the way over here Ms. Swan." Demetri teased after snapping some pictures from where he stood a few feet away from me. "If you need any refills, just let me know."

"I'm good Mr. Photographer. Just hush and let me do my thing. Turn up the music and hand me those head phones over there. I need a prop." I instructed him with my brow raised seductively in his direction. He let out a soft grunt after taking one more shot of me as I slid my pinky finger past the elastic band of my panties. I smirked already knowing the rest of the afternoon was going to be a total piece of cake.

"You're a damn natural. This shoot is going to make you famous."

"Hah! Unfortunately I'm already famous. This is purely for fun… and to piss off the old man and his people." I replied with a wink as I reached behind my back to unfasten the hook of my bra. I let the straps fall past my shoulders but held the material against my breasts playfully with one arm while looking straight into his camera lens with a smirk.

He looked up and grinned with a slight shake of his head and obvious hunger in his eyes, "In that case, let's have some fun, Bella."

* * *

We had just finished shooting in Demetri's yard with me wearing a sexy Alice in Wonderland theme outfit and the highest damn stripper heels I'd ever seen. I was stumbling around in the bathroom trying to change back into my checkered leggings and black hoodie without falling on my ass when my phone buzzed on the counter top.

**From: James**

_Bells just an FYI Jacob is trying to get in touch with you. If you're around a computer can you check in with him? He's worried. _

Super.

I rolled my eyes and replied back that I didn't need anyone checking up on me and that I was absolutely fine. After washing my face of the heavy makeup I'd put on for the outside shots, I forced a smile at my reflection. I was feeling good and relaxed thanks to the couple of extra shots of booze I'd mixed with a shared blunt between Dem and I during our last set of pictures.

I was feeling far and away so the last thing I wanted to do was jump on a computer and hear a lecture from my friends back home. I just wanted to keep it all turned off for a little while longer. It was much more pleasant feeling numb and disconnected from my reality.

Much, much, more pleasant.

I tossed my duffle bag over my shoulder and escaped the mirrored room to find Demetri. He was mumbling quietly on his phone in the kitchen and immediately hushed when I entered eyeing him suspiciously. "What's up?"

"Aro. He wants us to come by and hang out. If you're game, I mean. I told him we were all done over here."

"Yeah. That's cool. I'm in no rush to get back to the house."

"I'm shocked." Demetri mocked in return then tossed me my pack of cigarettes from the counter top beside him. "One more for the road?" he asked smirking as he lifted up a shot glass and almost empty bottle of Rum.

"The night is young. Let's do it."

He smiled and poured my drink then guided me by my hips back to the living room to grab his keys from the coffee table.

"You know Bella, I realize you have money and really don't need this, but these pictures have the potential to really blow up on the web. You should start thinking of an alias to go by."

"Why, is Bella Swan not sexy enough?" I teased with an exaggerated fake pout.

"No, it's sexy as hell, just like the rest of you. It's just not wise to use your real name. I tell all my girls the same thing."

I smirked and nodded my head, "So, I'm one of your girls now?"

He laughed and took a step closer towards me, instantly causing me to take my own step back. "You can be whatever, and whoever you want to be with me, baby." His eyes stared into mine and I felt my throat tighten as words failed me. Normally I would have instantly straddled a man's body after he fed me a line like that, but for some reason I was finding that difficult, even in my current intoxicated state. He stepped closer forcing my back against the wall beside the front door and ran his hand across my cheek as he leaned in to bring his lips to my ear, "Just something to keep in mind." I forced myself to take a breath then playfully ducked under his arm to retreat and act as if he hadn't just caused my nipples to perk up.

"Behave. We have places to be." I reminded him then threw him one quick kiss to his cheek before reaching for the doorknob to head out to his car. I was desperate to find more company, and fast, before I did something I knew I would later regret after sobering up.

The drive through town was absent of conversation while the radio played the latest top ten countdown over the speakers. As tipsy as I was feeling sitting in this car, I was back to hearing Edwards voice and seeing his face when I'd closed my eyes trying desperately to enjoy my high.

It was seriously starting to piss me off that no matter how much I drank, or smoked, I still wasn't able to shake those three words he had said to me. I let out a frustrated huff and pulled my knees up to hug them to my chest.

"What's wrong babe? Those are not the sounds of a female in a nicely baked and relaxed state."

"Nothing. Everything…. Everything that should mean nothing." I replied staring out the window.

"Wow…. Way to get all emo on me. Is it the geezer on the news, or the fact that you know you want to fuck in the back of my car?"

"No." I laughed, "The geezer is a dick, plain and simple. I've already accepted that and expect nothing to change when it comes to that branch on my fucked up family tree. And _you_ my _friend _are seriously in denial if you think there's any chance something might happen between the two of us."

"Keep telling yourself that gorgeous, but if it's not gramps, and it's not me, what's going on in that head of yours?" Demetri pressed as he turned into Aro's driveway.

"It's nothing. I just wish I wasn't me sometimes." I answered before pushing my door open after he'd turned the car off. I wasn't looking to stick around and have a heart to heart. I'd already said more than I should have and blamed that entirely on the amount of alcohol I had running through my system.

Demetri caught up with me and grabbed me by the arm to slow me down before I could open the front door. I narrowed my eyes in his direction and yanked myself free from his grasp before telling him to mind my personal space.

"Look. We all have shit we wish we could shut out. What makes it easier is accepting that you're not the only one dealing with shit. It's a shitty world, Bella. All that matters is what you make of it. For what it's worth, I think you're doing a damn good job at being you."

I kept my eyes guarded but after a few seconds allowed a small smile to creep across my face. "Thanks. You're right. Shit is what makes the world go round." I teased before playfully punching him in the arm.

"Come on. It's fucking cold out here!"

* * *

We had been at the Aro's for a little over an hour. I was feeling ridiculously nice and cloudy thanks to the comfortable atmosphere, company, and of course Aro's flawless bartending skills. He was leaning across the bar in his kitchen whispering what the sight of my cleavage was doing to his dick when Demetri returned from outside after having a cigarette and making a phone call.

"Let's go sit in the band room." Aro suggested running his finger across my arm playfully. I smirked at his touch and felt my shoulders relax as he stepped around the bar to position himself behind me, allowing my body to lean into him as we made our way to his little man cave past the laundry room of his house.

Demetri followed close behind us and lit a fresh joint at his lips then shot me a wink that made me smirk without thinking. It was insane how these two never seemed to let up, even when they were both in the same room with me.

I took a seat in the middle of the giant worn in couch and leaned back closing my eyes while taking a drag from the spliff Aro held to my lips.

"You've had a rough couple of days huh?" he asked, bringing up the current gossip for the first time.

"It's had its ups and downs." I replied without opening my eyes. I slowly exhaled then leaned my body into his as a slow smile spread across my lips. He wrapped his arm around me and held me against him just as Portishead began playing on the speakers in the room. After opening my eyes again, I immediately noticed the lights had been dimmed and Demetri was now seated on the other side of me playing with his phone. The sounds from the speaker easily assisted in helping me further relax as I pulled my legs up underneath me to get more comfortable against Aro.

"Well you have most definitely earned yourself a break from all of that TV shit." Aro spoke up instantly reminding me of Edward and the heartfelt, thoughtful break he had planned and implemented for me not even twenty four hours ago. "Hopefully sitting for Demetri helped you find a way to forget a little bit of yourself today."

The room was starting to wobble a little and the sounds in the room were slowly becoming distorted. I'd definitely reached my limit and it was time to slow down and just enjoy the bittersweet feelings of nothingness before I crashed and burned.

My eyes jerked open after feeling something gently touch my leg. It was Aro, and he had a very obvious look on his face. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine. After a few seconds of trying to decide how to react, I just gave into it hoping a little fooling around would help prove to myself that I could still do this without feeling any guilt.

Having emotionless flings that meant nothing, all while knowing there was someone out there who had offered to be my everything was exactly what I needed in order to push Edwards' callous rant from my long term memory.

I closed my eyes and grabbed at Aro's neck, then ran my hand through his hair tugging to bring his mouth to my neck and clavicle while my other hand began to reach down his chest to playfully tug at the bottom of his t-shirt so I could feel his bare skin with my hands. He responded by repositioning our bodies and pushed me lightly backwards towards the other end of the sofa with one swift move of his solid arm. That's when I felt a new set of hands suddenly massaging my shoulders from behind me. I turned my head and looked up catching Demetri's eyes as he stared down with hunger. Aro's mouth continued to rain kisses down my sternum after unzipping my hoodie to expose my shirtless body wearing nothing but the black bra I had worn for the first set of pictures earlier this afternoon.

My eyes darted back and forth between the both of them trying to register what the hell was going on and where this was heading.

"Still up for some _fun_, Bella?" Demetri asked without breaking our stare while his hands traveled passed my shoulders and traced the outside of bra. His pointer finger dipped past the lace fabric to tease my nipple with a soft graze while his eyes zoned in where his hand had begun meticulously moving across my chest. I was frozen and speechless, unsure of how this had all started in the first place, but even more unsure of whether or not I wanted it to continue. Aro was down between my legs now, running his hands up my thighs as his teeth pulled at the elastic of my leggings. I lowered my eyes and caught his smile signaling that he was absolutely fine with the situation that was currently taking place between the three of us.

"Jesus, you two are something else," I finally whispered closing my eyes tightly in reaction to Demetri's touch after he'd tugged at my dreads to pull my head to the side so he could bite at my neck.

_What the hell are you doing, Swan?_

_Isn't it obvious? I'm doing exactly what would be expected of me._

I reached back for Demetri and pulled his face to mine, taking his mouth and tongue while Aro quickly pulled at my pants to remove them from my body. I'd never in my life been with two men at the same time. Only once had I even come close and that was with Paul watching in the corner while I practiced my BJ giving skills on Sam back when we were teenagers. In my demented mind, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to prove to myself that I indeed felt absolutely nothing when it came to Edwards unwanted love and stubborn desire to _fix_ me.

_I don't need fixing. _

_This is all I need. _

I kept my eyes closed feeling Demetri's mouth return to my neck and ear lobe while Aro's lips began to make their way up between my bare legs. His fingers dipped past my panties sending a impulsive moan from my lips which immediately brought Demetri's mouth back to mine silencing me. I feverishly reached out to pull at his belt and closed my eyes more tightly feeling the room begin to spin around me as I tumbled further and further away from reality.

"You are so fucking flawless, Bella." Aro whispered from below me causing me to smile for a moment.

His chosen words however caused Edwards face to flash in my memory.

The reminder of his eyes as they stared into my soul just last night…. It was enough to make me stop and pull my hands away just as I'd reached into Demetri's pants to take his swollen dick into my mouth.

"No. Stop! I can't do this." I yelped instantly releasing him and frantically sitting up. I crossed my legs in front of a panicked Aro and pulled my jacket closed then shook my head again manically, "I'm… I'm sorry, I'm normally not a cock tease, but I ca-can't do this." I insisted looking back and forth between the two of them. I realized how fucked up this was. Me stopping when I did, but I didn't care. Continuing and completing was not an option. I just couldn't do it. Not anymore. As much as that pissed me off, I couldn't deny the fact that this just didn't feel right.

"Bells, come on. We promise to play nice. It will be fun. Your rules. You can't tell us you're not turned on right now. You want this just as badly as we do. Let us help you turn the world off." Demetri whispered getting back down on his knees beside me. He ran his hand down my arm then leaned in and kissed me once more holding on to my bottom lip with his teeth for a few sensual seconds before releasing me for a moment to catch my breath. I let the kiss linger on my lips while my head battled back and forth between good versus evil. Without another word I slowly nodded and the three of us quickly returned to our previous positions but just before crossing into third base I pulled myself together again and pushed them both away from me.

"No. I mean it. This isn't something I'm comfortable with. I can't."

"Fuck. We can't stop now." Demetri instantly whined looking as if I'd just stolen his lollypop and pushed him down on the playground.

"We can, and we are. Now back off, pull your pants up and give me my damn clothes." I warned narrowing my eyes at them. They both looked at each other for a long moment and I felt my insides knot themselves into panic as the worst case scenario swarmed my mind.

"Fine. Your loss. We won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with. I just really thought you'd be into it." Aro muttered avoiding my eyes. He handed me my things and stood up, adjusting himself in his pants before zipping them.

"Awesome, I'll be in the bathroom rubbing one out, unless you want to sit there topless for a few more minutes, Bella." Demetri teased with a hopeful expression.

"Yeah, um, I think not." I replied swiftly zipping up my jacket and pulling my legs up to slide my leggings back on in front of them.

"Well…It was worth a shot. You can't blame us for trying." Aro mumbled with a smirk.

"Totally. A very well plotted evening too. You guys have been planning tonight for quite a while haven't you?" I smirked back, remembering all the times I had walked into a room with them whispering together. "I'd like to go home now. Who is taking me?" I asked crossing my arms in front of me, not wanting to think about the reason why I had just stopped myself from being fucked senseless by two gorgeous men at the same damn time.

"I'll take you, I just need to stop at the bar first." Aro replied avoiding my other question about how much of tonight had been planned in advance. He then offered me his hand to help me up from the sofa and leaned in to kiss me one time at the top of my head. "Tell me something though, is this because of your roommate, or do you really have some boundaries I wasn't aware of?" he asked catching me by surprise.

I looked at him with my mouth open, unable to think of a witty response and he laughed.

"That fucker has actually won."

"He hasn't won anything, dumbass."

"Okay. If you say so. I can spot it a mile away, and you my dear have fallen." I punched him in the arm playfully and shook my head refusing to admit he was right. "Demetri, we're heading out. We'll see you at the bar!" Aro yelled then draped his arm over my shoulder to guide me out of the room. I smiled realizing how quickly he was able to turn it off and just act like a buddy with me again. Blue balls and all.

"You know you really are just like one of my boys back home."

"Yup, that's why you adore me as much as you do. I'm cozy. Comfortable. It's cool. We had some good times together. The nice guy just happened to finish first this time. It's got to happen every once in a while or the universe would start to tilt off its axis. Edwards' a lucky guy. He better not fuck up. If he does, you know where to find me." he answered poking my nose playfully after opening his truck door for me.

"Trust me, I'm no prize." I insisted, then crossed my arms in front of my chest while my brain set itself into over drive thinking about what all of this meant.

* * *

I was sitting at the bar running lines in my head for when I saw Edward, while I waited for Aro to finish up his nightly check in with his employees. My eyes, however, were suddenly drawn towards the entrance after the door had slowly opened.

"Oh, hell no." I muttered more to myself than anyone else. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Surely I had finally passed out from the amount of liquor I had been sipping on all day because the person who had just walked in couldn't possibly be real.

_This has to be a nightmare. _

Riley's eyes met mine almost instantly.

He didn't flinch. He didn't turn around and walk out. He was alone, and now he was walking directly towards me, never once breaking our stare until I took it upon myself to look away in panic.

"I am way too tipsy to deal with anymore surreal bullshit tonight." I groaned with a roll of my eyes before frantically scanning the room for an escape. Demetri had shown up shortly after us but disappeared when Tanya arrived with Rose and Emmett. I knew Aro wouldn't be able to leave which basically left me with running my ass out the back door and walking the streets till I found some dark alley to pass out in.

"That's that guy from the news with your gramps, right? The one they said you had an affair with?" Aro questioned following my stare.

"Yeah. I really need to get out of here."

"You can go hide out in my office but it looks like he's here looking for you."

I considered his offer till the word 'hide' echoed in the back of my head. I didn't want to hide anymore. I was stronger than that. If he came here looking for me then so fucking be it. Here I was.

"No. Let's hear what _Prick Junior _has to say." I replied crossing my arms in front of me as I leaned back against the bar.

"Say the words and I'll have my guys throw him out. I don't care who he is or what connections he has." Aro told me before giving my shoulder a light squeeze. I smiled and nodded my head then turned to face the man who had assisted in leading me further down my own path of self-destruction at the tender age of seventeen.

"Bella,"

"Do I know you?" I eyed him in his ridiculously dressed down street clothes and sneered. He looked so different from the man I had seen on stage just yesterday.

_Christ, was that really only yesterday? It feels like a decade ago._

"Stop. Can we go someplace quiet and talk? I don't have a lot of time."

"How did you know where to find me?" I questioned ignoring his own direct request.

"I just did."

"Right…. Special inside information when you run in that circle of yours. Funny that it's taken you all this time to reach out."

"You disappeared. I thought it would be best if,"

"If what?! If you spread lies about me, and our relationship to save your own ass?!" I yelled standing up from my seat.

"Bells, please. Let's talk about this someplace else. It's best we both get our stories in order before,"

"Fuck you Riley! Did you honestly expect to walk in here and I would just crumble and listen to your bullshit?"

"You're drunk."

"Yeah. I'm in a goddamn bar! Again, what the hell did you expect to get out of coming here?"

By now we had gained quite an audience but I wasn't backing down and I knew if things got too heated my friends here would keep me in check. I glanced to my right and saw both Rose and Tanya watching with shocked expressions on their faces.

_Great. Everyone else should be here in a matter of minutes. _

"Your grandfather wants to see you before we leave tomorrow night."

"And he sent _you _of all people here to tell me that?" I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"No, he was sending someone else and I told them I'd do it. I'm sure I'll get hell for it, but I don't care. I wanted to see you. I needed to. Seeing you yesterday, it brought it all back. I never meant to hurt,"

"Stop."

"No! Not till you listen."

"I said, STOP! I don't want to hear it. Tell the old man he can go fuck himself. He is the scum beneath my shoes, and you both absolutely deserve each other. You mean nothing to me anymore. Perhaps the little girl I once was would have considered listening to your rhetoric, but I am not the girl you left in a motel room. You broke that girl. She is not here. I am not her."

"Jesus. Listen to yourself. You try to act like it was all me. Like I was the one who forced you to, to…"

"To fuck you in a cheap hourly rate motel room?"

"Christ Bella," he mumbled looking away seemingly embarrassed over my blunt interruption.

"Hey you're the one who wants to talk about old times."

"I expected you to be a bit more mature about it. You're not a teenager anymore."

"No, but I sure was back when you were having your way with me in various positions. All while your wife prepared to give birth to your unborn child. Your wife whom I knew NOTHING about!" I spat back hearing gasps from several people around us.

"Damn that's low bro," Aro muttered from behind me, and I nodded my head in agreement.

Riley looked absolutely dumfounded over my verbal assault. He had not expected this at all. I'd grown up a lot and he was beginning to see just how much damage he had actually done.

"This was obviously a mistake. I'm sorry I came. I hope someday you'll,"

"Don't waste your breath. That day will never come. There's a special place in hell for people like you." I swiftly told him, not letting him finish his own obnoxious statement.

"Fine. Continue living your self-centered, vindictive life. It's good to see you've grown up to be the spoiled little bitch your grandmother always said you would become."

I laughed loudly at his statement just as someone stepped up from behind him to swiftly turn his body around and slam their fist into his face, instantly knocking Riley to the ground.

"EDWARD!" I yelled then covered my mouth with my hand in shock.

"Sorry Bella. I know you hate physical acts of violence in your honor, but I vowed to knock this prick to the ground if I ever got another chance, and no one disrespects you like that. Be mad at me if you want. Hell you're already mad at me so I figured I mind as well put a cherry on the top." he replied shaking his fist forcefully at his side. He was obviously in a lot of pain and the sight of that caused my lip to tremble.

I stared at him, still in disbelief and let my arms slowly reach out to take his hand into mine then gently brought it to my lips all while looking him straight in the eyes. "I'm not mad," I softly replied before returning his swollen knuckles to my lips to kiss them one more time.

Riley was up on his feet again with retaliation clearly on his face but Emmett, James and Demetri were all standing beside us now, obviously offering their assistance if he should decide to continue this _conversation_.

"It was nice seeing you Isabella. I'll let the Senator know he was absolutely right about you. You're a lost cause."

"And you should take absolute pride in that, Riley. You fucking lap dog. " I shouted in return then leaned into Edward and closed my eyes willing myself to not give into the angry tears that were threatening to tear me apart.

"Are you okay?" he asked wrapping his arms around me firmly. I nodded my head but kept my eyes closed tightly. I wasn't ready to see all the faces staring back at me. Judging me. "So then, you're really not mad at me?"

"No. I'm not mad. I mean I'm a little annoyed that I wasn't the one who got to punch the shit out of him, but I'm not mad. You knew too much to not react." I smiled and again gently touched the hand that had knocked Riley to the ground. "Aro, can we get a bag of ice?"

"Yeah, sure. Just a minute."

"Let me guess, Rose called you guys?" I asked looking around to spot the rest of my housemates. They were all seated in the usual booth looking our way but immediately turned their heads to avoid eye contact with me.

"Yeah. We were already on our way though. Pulling in actually, when she called in a panic," he smiled and I shook my head with a smirk then felt my face blush like a nerd as we stood there staring at one another, unsure of what to say next.

"How did the shoot go?"

"Good, I think. Distracting. I think you'll like some of the shots." I replied grinning. It was so easy to fall back in line with him when I wasn't being so dead set on pushing him away.

"I'm sure I will." he smiled then tucked some of my hair back behind my ear.

"Here you go, Edward. Bag of ice, on the house. You may want to take it to-go though. Just in case the tool decides to press charges and the cops show up looking for you." Aro suggested with a bit of hesitation.

"He's right. We should get out of here." I spoke up then thanked Aro. He smiled and nodded his head one time.

"You did good tonight. You should be proud of yourself. You've grown up a lot. You're definitely not the same girl who walked into my bar weeks ago." he told me then reached across the bar to take my hand and kiss it. "I'll see you around. Don't become a stranger beautiful. Be good to her, Eddie."

Edward looked at him with a slight sneer but confusion quickly took over his expression as he slowly shook his head in response. He helped me down from my stool and we gave a wave to our housemates, signaling we were heading out. They waved back and I offered a light smile and nod of my head to let them know I was okay.

_And now what? What the hell are you going to say to him? How much do you tell him? Do you really think you're ready for this? _

I had no idea how to answer any of the questions that were running through my head. I knew I couldn't tell him about what had happened at Aro's tonight, even though things never got too far. It just wasn't something any man would ever want to hear about unless he was actually involved in the actual moment. If I really wanted to do this, it would mean starting fresh with new rules and removing a lot of the old ones. It meant starting down a new path that I knew absolutely nothing about and that was terrifying.

_You're ready. You can do this. _

For the first time in my life I actually found myself appreciating and hoping the little voice in the back of my head was right.

* * *

**~Edward~**

When we got back Bella immediately went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of ice water then disappeared into the computer room. I assumed it was to let her boys back home know she was ok. James had told me he'd text her earlier in the night to let her know they were worried, and they had probably called the house at least ten times since this afternoon so she had a list of messages waiting for her on the chalkboard in the kitchen.

I could hear her talking softly from behind the closed door, but I didn't try to make out her words. She still needed her space, and I was going to do my best to give it to her. The complete turnaround that had occurred at the bar had taken me by surprise. I had not expected her to fall into my arms the way she had but I wouldn't push too soon. It was an amazing relief that she could find her way back to letting me in. Even more amazing that it had happened in less than twenty-four hours. I wasn't about to mess that up.

She opened the door and came out offering a crooked smile before plopping down on the sofa across from me.

"They want to move up their visit to next weekend." she told me with a sigh, "I told them I was fine, and I promised to call Dr. Banner on Monday."

"So when are they coming back?" I asked, remembering my own friends would be here in two weeks.

"The same time your friends will be here." she answered then laughed and shook her head.

_Crap. _

She sighed and leaned back to bring her knees up to her chest and hug them to her body with one arm while her other arm brought her drink to her mouth.

"Should be a fun, long weekend."

"Interesting to say the least," she added quietly then stared off towards the clock on the wall after glancing at the camera guy in the corner of the room. She was waiting for the magic hour when they would go home, and we would only have the installed cameras watching from a distance.

"Seven minutes." I whispered then shot her a wink. She grinned and nodded her head looking shy all of the sudden. We sat in silence giving them dead air, which we both knew would drive the suits crazy. I wasn't sure what to expect once we were alone. She'd had too much to drink for me to get her to come out to the school grounds. I could see it in her walk, and hear it in the slight slur of her speech. She wasn't wasted, but she was definitely feeling good and intoxicated.

Finally the camera guy let out a huff and packed his stuff, then quietly disappeared after shooting us a wave and thumbs up.

"Longest seven minutes of my life," Bella joked with a stretch of her legs, "I'm so ready to get out of this house for good."

I grimaced at her words. Even though I knew what she meant, it was still hard to hear. The idea of her going back to Oregon and me to Cali was almost debilitating.

"Because of the cameras obviously. Not because of you, Edward."

"I know. I feel the same way. At the same time though I don't want to think about leaving. And that _is _because of you, Bella."

_What the hell, Cullen. I thought we were taking this _slow.

She smiled and shook her head while avoiding my eyes, "You really won't give up will you?"

"I'm stubborn. What can I say." I replied bumping her foot with mine playfully.

She took in a deep breath then exhaled slowly, "Look. I'm sorry. I don't want to make a big deal about it, and I don't really want to talk about all of it right now, because truth be told this room is starting to spin, but I'm sorry for saying what I said, and then walking out. You didn't deserve that and it was pretty shitty of me."

I sat there in shock. For a moment the thought passed through my mind that this was all a dream because never in a million years did I expect for her to actually apologize. Move on and act as if nothing had happened, yes. Say she was sorry and admit she was wrong, no way.

"It's ok. I knew you didn't mean it. I just figured it would take you a little while to realize that." I replied with an impulsive smile escaping my lips. She released a short laugh and shook her head in silent agreement.

"We can talk about it more tomorrow. I don't want to say the wrong thing tonight. I need a clear head, and right now my head is far from being clear. It's been an insane forty-eight hours and I've barely made sense of half of it."

"Okay. I understand." I answered as I watched her slowly stand up in front of me.

"Are you coming? You know I sleep better in your arms." her request caused my damn pussy-whipped heart to skip a beat.

"If that's what you want, Bella. There's no other place I'd rather be."

"It's what I want." she answered just above a whisper then reached out to take my hands and pull me to my feet. There was so much I wanted to say to her. So many things were racing through my mind. What had brought on this about face so quickly? Why was she letting me back in so soon? What had happened at Demetri's today and did it have anything to do with her shedding her shield so abruptly? Was it because of my impulsive act of chivalry at the bar? What did it all mean? More importantly, how much of this was the alcohol and would she wake up not remembering a thing about this night but find me in bed with her and totally lose her shit?

"Edward?"

The sound of her returned voice after we'd entered our bedroom startled me, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I stood there for a few seconds unsure of how I should respond. This entire moment seemed so unlike her. I seriously thought about pinching myself to make sure I was actually still awake. Finally, I asked her what she was thanking me for and felt her stiffen under my arms, after she'd pulled me into her for a hug. I immediately wished I had just replied with a simple, 'you're welcome' but it was too late for that now.

"For refusing to give up on me. For ignoring my rules. For being you. There's more. So much more I want to say…. More I want to tell you, but…. But I want to be one hundred percent sober when I do. It's important that I not be my fucked up self. I want to get it right." her words were starting to run together, so I didn't push for anything more.

Instead I smiled and kissed her forehead firmly. "I'll be ready and waiting to hear it. Let's get our asses to bed so I can hold you in my arms. Right where you belong."

* * *

**A/N: What?! No cliffy? You're shocked right? Next chapter is written and being sent to my fabulous beta today!**

** Just a reminder, I post teasers, and such on my Twitter, TailoredDreams. **

**So how are we feeling? Bella did good right? I mean that entire Dem/Aro situation could have gone down a totally different road. *smirk***

*****Lolypop82 made some AMAZING manips of Bella during her photo shoot. I'll link those on my profile. They're a must see. If for some reason the link won't work I will also tweet it. You really should take a look because her pictures are worth a thousand words which was why I didn't linger long to describe the entire shoot. **

**Huge thanks to my awesome beta Riss who I adore beyond belief, and to my pre-reader for this chapter, Mayra! *big hugs* **

***Please review* I love hearing your thoughts, and I love sharing special little outtakes in return. For this chapter the outtake will be from Bella's POV when she gets back to the house and talks with her boys back home. Some enlightening conversation. **

**Till next time! **


	20. Possibilities

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem._

**A/N: Back! This chapter is a nice break from the drama. Not completely absent of it, but definitely fluffy. Big thanks to my preggers beta, Riss, who battled pregnancy hunger and baby ninja kicks to get this chapter back to me! It's a long one. Shocker. *smirk* **

**The following is rated M for... well you know. **

* * *

**Possibilities **

**Chapter 20 **

**~EDWARD~**

It was Sunday night and we had just finished up a fairly quiet dinner when Bella asked if everyone could come sit in the living room for a moment. She wanted to talk to us about something.

It had been a eerily slow day filled with lots of silence, and nervous glances.

While everyone else had given Bella and I some space by getting out of the house, we had slept in, laid around in our pajamas, and just sat quietly while taking turns on her guitar. I could see it on her face. Her nervous hand wringing, and hair twirling had also given her away. She was battling something wicked in that head of hers, and it had taken everything in me to not just take her by the shoulders and insist she let it all out.

"Uh-oh are we in trouble?" Emmett teased pinching her cheek playfully while we all shuffled into the sitting area. She swatted at his hand and assured everyone it wasn't really anything serious but that she had some things she wanted to get off her chest. "I wouldn't mind seeing more of that chest, Hells Bells."

"Oh, shut up Emmett. Jesus Christ." Rose muttered flicking her roommate behind the ear before pulling on his arm to lead them both over to the love seat.

"What's up? You're not leaving are you?" Tanya asked nearly knocking the wind out of me. The thought of waking up and starting a day without Bella in my arms seemed debilitating. Especially since she had already promised me she wouldn't quit the show before we wrapped in October.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry honey, your dress-up closet is staying till the very end." Bella teased with a roll of her eyes. "Ok so. We haven't talked about all the stuff that's been said about me. Or about the incident at the bar last night. I just want to clear the air, as I'm sure you're all probably thinking the worst of me," she toyed before slowly walking over to take a seat in my lap. I smirked and ran my hands around her hips to hold her against me, letting her know I was here supporting her, while she took this monumental step to share her past with our housemates. I knew this wasn't easy for her, so I was feeling particularly proud that she had found the strength to do it.

"I've briefly told some of you about my shitty childhood and how I come from money, and was raised with money, by money. Not by people or human affection. I barely knew my parents and was floated from home to home growing up. My grandfather and I had several falling outs. The first huge one happened when I was sixteen years old, and I was subsequently removed from his home. He however found it in his well plotted heart to give me another chance…. Ironically right around re-election time. Anyways, without going into every ugly detail, I fell for his assistant a year later. He pretended to be someone he wasn't… someone I thought I could trust and someone who told me he loved me. No one had every told me that before. He told me everything I wanted to hear, but left out all the important things. Like the fact that he was married and about to become a father. I had no idea. Absolutely NO idea. Please believe that. I never would have given him the time of day if I had known."

"Oh, Bella! What a scum bag! He's like crazy old too, isn't he? I mean he looked like he could be your dad!" Alice asked jumping up to hug her. I could feel her stiffen in my lap over Alice's touch. After a few seconds she returned the embrace then told our housemates it had happened so long ago it was all just a painful distant memory, but that yes, the douche bag was crazy old in comparison to herself, and that had also been part of the attraction.

"I mean, it all fucked me up in the head. Obviously. I have huge emotional and attachment issues. Anyways, when my grandfather found out about Riley and I he pretty much refused to hear my side of it and demanded I, again, move out of his house. So that was the last time I'd seen him in person, before Friday at the Aquarium I mean. He sided with Riley, threw me out, and has never once attempted to contact me since that day. My parents were murdered a few weeks later, so I inherited a lot of money and have managed alright on my own ever since, but yeah, they died thinking I was a home wrecking tramp so that was pretty messed up."

"Jesus. Bella. That's some heavy shit." Emmett spoke up shifting his weight nervously in his seat.

"I just didn't want you guys thinking it was all true. I wasn't in a mental hospital either. I was at a clinic trying to get help for my eating disorder, after having a miscarriage." She'd whispered the last four words.

Both Alice and Tanya gasped at the same time causing Bella to nervously laugh. "Yeah… I'd rather not go into detail about all that, but since I'm emptying some skeletons… When the guys came out, that weekend was my due date, that's why they were here, and why I was such a basket case."

"Jesus, Bells. I knew you were dealing with some heavy shit, but I had no idea." James finally spoke up then walked over to kneel beside her and take her hand into his. "You know we would never judge you. We knew you had your reasons for being so locked up. We only hoped you would find the courage to open up with us. I'm glad you have."

"I am too, James. I feel better already. Which is insane. Sucks that my quack of a therapist was actually right once again." she laughed and leaned down to kiss the top of James' head then cleared her throat nervously. "Speaking of my quack of a doc… I'm going to be getting some regular sessions in on Skype with him. So I hope you guys won't mind me taking up the computer at night once a week?"

Everyone agreed right away that they wouldn't mind at all. I remained quiet, because she already knew I supported her no matter what.

"So yeah… I'm not a home wrecker… at least not on purpose… I can however be a bit of a whore… But according to my therapist that's a defense mechanism… I have a shitty family history… My grandfather is a narrow minded politician with his head up his ass… I could have been a mom… And I'm still battling a pretty wicked eating habit, but I'm ready to really start working on it again and stop relying on booze so much to numb all my insecurities. So I guess that concludes Bella 101. Any questions?"

No one said anything, they all just got up and surrounded her in a giant group hug that ended with all the girls in tears, shared with nervous laughter.

"I'm so glad you're not leaving." Alice whispered hugged Bella again tightly.

"No way. I'm in this till the end. For once I'm going to see something through and not run away when things start to get off course." Bella told them with a crooked smile. She turned and locked eyes with me, then bit at her bottom lip before leaning in to gently kiss my own lips. "Want to go for a walk?" She softly asked as her eyes scanned my face hesitantly.

"Of course. But… Now?"

"Yup." she replied with a swift wink then nodded her head towards the back of the room. I glanced in the direction and noticed Jasper was on duty.

"Alright then. I'll grab my stuff." I patted her butt playfully and took off upstairs to grab my skateboard.

"What's in the thermos?" I teased, finding her waiting at the door with Jasper nearby.

"Just water. I meant what I said. I'm going to give my liver a break for the rest of the weekend."

"It's Sunday night, Bella."

She rolled her eyes, "One day at a time, M&M."

I nodded my head understanding and gestured towards the door ready to get our night started away from this house. We walked silently, with her hand firmly holding onto mine. Only the sounds of our footsteps and the nearby crickets kept us company. When we were about twenty feet from the school's broken gate, a loud crash forced us both to turn around. Jasper was kneeling down beside the sidewalk with a smirk on his face and his camera in about three different pieces scattered in front of him.

"Oops. Damn curb came out of nowhere." he stated with a sheepish shrug. "Guess I'll just have to walk all the way back to the house to get a back up. You two just stay paused till I get back. You hear?"

"Oh absolutely." Bella joked with a light laugh, then mouthed the words, 'thank you'.

He shot us a wink and quickly gathered his broken equipment then turned to head back in the direction we had just come from without saying another word.

"Now how did you manage that?"

"I promised to coach Alice a little in preparation of their next date." she replied smugly as she leaned in against me to rest her head onto my shoulder while we continued to make our way into the abandoned school grounds.

"Smooth Swan."

"Yeah, I learned from the best. I have zero ambition to please the people behind the scenes anymore. I'll play by my own rules from now on."

"Ah- more rules?"

She laughed at my remark and slid her hand back into mine to intertwine our fingers together as we walked towards the empty pool. "Jasper said he could promise us thirty minutes to talk before he would be back with a new camera."

"Sounds good. What exactly are we here to talk about?" I asked while helping her down the ladder. She didn't say anything so I followed her to the deepest end of the cement pool where she sat down then motioned for me to join her. Once sitting face to face, she took my hands into hers and smiled nervously. I had fucking butterflies in the pit of my stomach courtesy of the bashful looks her eyes were sending my way.

"Ok so. Now that I'm one hundred and ten percent sober, I'm going to talk, and you're going to sit there and listen."

I smiled at the sound of her take charge attitude, "Alright. I'm listening."

"You said something to me yesterday afternoon… when we had our big fight that caused me to walk out. Something that you knew would scare the hell out of me."

"I said a lot of things yesterday."

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb, Edward," she threatened narrowing her eyes at me. I smirked at her unease and shifted my weight in front of her.

_Just say it Cullen. No need to pussy foot anymore. _

"Okay, no games. I told you that I'm in love with you, Bella. That's what scares the hell out of you." Her cheeks instantly blushed over my words. Her eyes softened but never once looked away from mine.

"Right. That."

"Okay, well, I am. Nothing has changed." I answered, wondering where this could possibly be going.

"Except one thing," she finally spoke up after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

She nodded slowly and took in a deep breath, "You know I spent some time with Demetri yesterday."

"Yeah. To pose for some semi-porn pictures. I may, or may not have looked up the website."

She quickly stuck her index finger out and placed it over my mouth, instantly hushing me, "I'm just going to be as straightforward as I can, without saying anything more than what needs to be said… if that makes sense."

"Not really, but okay." I forced a smile and leaned back on my arms after extending them out behind me while I waited for her to continue.

"When I left the house yesterday, I was on a mission to forget myself. After you said what you said, I had to prove to myself that I could still get something out of being in the company of someone who… who wasn't you. Eventually I realized it was pointless. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, no matter how stoned I got, how much booze I drank, or how much fun I might have thought I was starting to have, it just didn't matter. I still inevitably found myself thinking about you, and wishing I was out spending time away from everything, with you, and only you."

She paused and looked away from me shaking her head, then let out a frustrated sounding sigh, "I'm not going to lie, there were a few moments when I hated you for it. I was so determined to block it all out… I fought it, _so-hard_. It was impossible though. After the night we shared. The things you said. The way you looked at me. This is the last thing I've ever wanted, but I can't keep running from it or I might end up hating myself more than I already do. I… what I'm trying to say is… Fuck. Why does this have to be so hard?! What I'm trying to say is, I'm ready to open myself up to the possibility of allowing myself to fall in love with you, Edward. Even if it inevitably means having my heart broken into a million pieces."

"Bella, I would never,"

"Shush. Let me finish." She looked down at our hands and I squeezed gently letting her know I wanted her to continue while her rambling words swirled around in my head. "With that being said all of this terrifies me. More than you will ever know, but I am ready to toss all my regulations. I'm ready to just try living with the absolute fact that I do care about you more than I have ever cared about anyone else in my life. By refusing to give up on me, or bend to _all _of my rules, you have helped me see that it is possible… that there's a part of me that does want to change. Even after you knew everything there was to know, you've still never blinked or turned your back on me. I can no longer deny that you are the _only _person I want to kiss me, hold me, touch me. When you're around I feel whole. Complete. No one else has ever done that for me. For the first time in my entire life I feel hopeful that I don't _have _to be this way. I want to be with you, and only you. No one else anymore. Just _you. _I want to give us a chance... at everything." She finished in a rushed breath then looked up from our hands that she was still holding in her lap. I listened to her take in another deep inhale then exhale slowly as she closed her eyes and smiled, "Holy crap, that actually felt amazing to finally say out loud."

I had no words.

She had just shocked me beyond belief and now everything I considered saying seemed absolutely elementary. So instead of opening my mouth, I lifted her up into my lap and kissed her with every ounce of passion I could gather from within me. I held her face between my hands as our mouths moved slowly against one another. Her own fingers grabbed at the nape of my neck, and I never ever wanted to let her go. When she pulled away she gently leaned her forehead against mine and looked me straight in the eyes, while we both caught our breath.

"So, yeah. I don't know what happens next. This is all completely new to me."

"What would you like to happen?" I asked. I brushing her cheek with my thumbs as my hands held her face inches from mine.

"Well, let's just say Aro now knows that I want nothing but a platonic friendship from him."

"Does he now? Wow, that must have felt like a swift kick to the nuts." I replied with a smirk remembering the random comments he had made at the bar last night before we had left. She smacked me playfully and relaxed her arms over my shoulders. "So then does this mean I'm currently you're one, and _only_ boy toy?" I cautiously asked.

She nodded her head slowly then took in another deep breath, "You're more than a boy toy though. I mean, I want you to be more. That is if you want to be more, Edward."

I wasn't sure if she was saying what I thought she was saying.

_So just ask her and stop acting like a goddamn tool, Cullen._

With my eyes looking directly into hers I somehow gathered the courage to ask the unthinkable, "Bella Swan, will you be my _girlfriend_?"

She giggled and grabbed my face with her hands before firmly kissing me three times, "Yes. I think I'm ready to be a one cock kind of girl, Edward Cullen." she teased trying to keep our life changing conversation slightly less life changing. I laughed and shook my head before leaning in to kiss her once more.

"You've made me pretty fucking happy tonight." I whispered in her ear as she hugged me tightly.

"You've made me pretty fucking happy lots of nights since arriving in South Carolina. You knew it was only a matter of time. Especially after whisking me away the other night. Don't act so surprised. Reality just finally slapped me in the face hard enough that I had no choice but to stop running from it," she teased just as someone cleared their throat from above us. It was Jasper, and he had a back up buddy this time.

"Oh hey… sorry guys we were just getting up to head back to the house." Bella informed them, casting a wink in my direction. I heard the one guy mutter a few coarse words about _lugging _heavy ass cameras back and forth for fun but I was too distracted by Bella's gorgeously beaming smile under the moonlight to pay him much attention.

When we got back to the house Bella stopped me outside the door and kissed my cheek, "Let's not make this a huge deal ok. There's no reason everyone needs to know about our _status _change."

"Of course. Whatever you want." I answered before opening the door for her and sweeping her up off her feet to carry her inside.

"_Edward!" _she giggled uncontrollably, "Put me down!"

"Nope! I'm taking you upstairs into our bathroom, locking the door and having my way with you woman." I informed her as I swiftly carried her up the stairs.

"_Oh Lord." _Rose muttered to James after we'd passed them by_. "_They went and eloped."

Bella and I both let out a laugh but ignored her comment. We were too busy in our own bubble to pay much attention to anyone or anything but each other. That… and I was on a mission to make it into the bathroom and lock the door before a cameraman could get past the doorway behind us.

* * *

**~Bella~**

It was Thursday. Day eleven of being Edward Cullen's, _girlfriend_. It all still seemed so surreal but I'd never been happier or felt more comfortable in my own skin. I had spent almost every free second of the last eleven days with my boyfriend beside me. The only time we had been a part was when Aro had picked me up to take me to Demetri's for a few hours yesterday before work to help edit some of my shots. Surprisingly Edward had been completely cool about it. To me, the fact that he trusted me to go alone, it spoke volumes.

I smiled to myself thinking it all over; remembering what it had felt like waking up in Edwards arms this morning with him already smiling at me before he whispered a reminder of how happy he was that he could finally call me his.

For the first time in my life… things felt _perfect_.

"Ready to head out?" James asked sticking his head in our room. I'd been laying across Edward on my bed while I'd strummed Jane's strings in my lap.

"Wow, is it time to leave for work already?" I asked turning my head to look at the clock on our night stand.

"Yup. Your mini-me is probably already pacing while awaiting your arrival." James replied referring to Bree.

"She's excited about today. I still can't believe Esme gave us the okay to take her off school grounds by ourselves," I answered smiling.

We had gotten permission to take Bree to the skate park for a private lesson with Edward. A part of me knew Esme had only said yes because she still felt awful about what had happened at the Aquarium, but I didn't care what her reason was. I would take full advantage of the pity party… especially since we had the day off tomorrow for the long weekend with our friends coming into town.

Edward lifted me up off of him and patted my bottom as I stood up from the bed. "She's going to flip when she sees the board you got her." I told him grabbing the purple and black skate pack we'd also picked up for her with a new helmet and pads stuffed inside.

"I'm pretty excited to see her face." he admitted smiling back at me. I grinned and ran over to stand on my toes to land a kiss to his lips, loving the fact that he was just as eager as I was about our little get-a-way with my favorite orphan. On my first day back after all the chaos, Bree had made it a point to be my own little momma bear cub with the group. I'd caught her whispering with some of the other girls several times and later found out she was telling them to mind their business and not gossip about my outburst at the Aquarium. She never brought any of it up with me personally. Even though we'd been alone several times. She only sat with me and talked about random things like music, skating, and how she hated that the other girls in her group were starting to only want to talk about clothes, make-up, and boys.

Between her and Edward I hadn't had any time to let my mind wander and it had been amazing. She really was a special little girl. More than ever, I was starting to dread the thought of having to say goodbye to her next month.

"It's so not fair that you two get to go off with one of the little hellions while we have to still work all afternoon with our groups of multiple hell raisers." Rose snickered as we all filed into the van.

"Oh don't be jealous Rose. You know little Freddie made you blush yesterday when he got down on one knee and proposed with the tin ring he'd gotten from a quarter machine." James yelled back over his shoulder from the driver seat.

"Dude, I saw her admiring it in bed last night!" Emmett shared with a loud laugh. "All these proposals are really starting to go to her head." We all joined in with the teasing and I felt my smile increase over the carefree normalcy that had finally taken back the house.

"So when do your friends get here Edward?" Tanya asked turning in her seat to glance back at us. I saw her steal a glance at Edwards' hand running up and down my thigh and shot her a look that told her to mind her eye contact. She grinned and shook her head innocently before shooting me a wink.

"Not sure. Suppose to be tonight but last I heard there was a chance they wouldn't make it till tomorrow. They'll let me know. And yes, they are all single, Tanya."

"Yup, looks like you'll have quite the line up to choose from. Paul will be here tomorrow morning, we all know how well you two hit it off a few weeks ago." I reminded her with my own wink.

She smirked and shot me a crooked grin. "There's plenty of me to go around, Bella."

"Oh don't we know it." I shot back with a light laugh before placing my hand over Edwards to give it a gentle squeeze.

"To be honest though, lately I've been considering giving Demetri my undivided attention. He's really starting to grow on me."

I looked at her feeling shock take over my expression. Thankfully I somehow managed to stifle my laugh. The idea of either them settling down into a committed relationship was hilarious, but stranger things had definitely happened.

"So, Bella. Where's Aro been? Did you guys have a falling out?" Rose asked changing the subject.

_Jesus. What is her deal?_

"No, we're fine. We hung out for a little while yesterday. We've both just been busy."

"Yeah, I guess you have been pretty busy…. in every room of the house, at all hours of the day." Rose snickered then glanced at Edward with a smug smile.

"Ok, so. What's the plan for the weekend since we're going to have a lot of guests?" Alice asked, thankfully redirecting the conversation.

"Tonight we're just hanging out whenever anyone might show up. Tomorrow we're going to the beach, and then Volturi's bar to see Bella sing with her friends at night. Saturday is touristy sightseeing. Sunday is still free for suggestions. My friends leave Sunday night though."

"Mine are leaving Monday afternoon just before work." I replied feeling my anxiety start to slightly increase. I'd yet to tell the guys about mine and Edwards new relationship status. I figured it would be best to tell them in person. I mean we hadn't even come clean to our housemates yet.

_Then do it, Swan. What are you so afraid of? That it might actually make it more real?_

"So you guys should know. I mean I think it's been pretty obvious, but just so there's no confusion. Edward and I are together now." I impulsively spoke up. Edward stiffened beside me then squeezed my leg letting me know he approved of my random outburst. James stopped short at the stop sign and turned around to look at us both from the front of the van.

"Say what now?" Emmett asked with another booming laugh.

"What do you mean you're together? Like…. Together, together?" Alice squealed bouncing in her seat like a tiny monkey.

I smiled and nodded my head, "Together, together."

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for the both of you. I mean I knew it would happen!" Alice added with a light giggle. Emmett instantly reached back to give Edward a high-five while everyone else stayed quiet.

"Super. Sucks, though, for your boy toys who are traveling across the country to see you." Rose muttered avoiding my eyes.

"They weren't coming here just to get laid, Rose. Believe it or not they actually care about me." I replied while fighting back the urge to yank her hair from her head.

Someone was obviously PMS'ing.

"Okay, okay. Put the claws away ladies. Edward, Bella, I think that's great. You too are good together. Congrats on finally accepting that." James announced from the front of the van just as we pulled into the schools parking lot.

"Thank you James." Edward replied then lifted my hand up to his lips to softly kiss it. "I'm pretty damn happy about it."

"Ugh, spare us." Rose snickered before leaping out of the van. I watched her smack Emmett in the back of the head. He'd leaned in to whisper something to her, and I couldn't help but smile thinking he had probably just sarcastically asked her to also go steady with him.

"What brought that on?" Edward asked once everyone was walking ahead of us towards the gym.

"I just figured they should know. I mean, since I'm going to tell the guys when they get here. It was better everyone be informed so no one felt left out." I replied with a shrug.

"So you haven't told them yet?"

"No, why?" I asked surprised that he would have assumed I had.

He draped his arm over my shoulder to pull me in closer to him and shrugged lightly, "I don't know. You just tell them everything. I figured you would have."

"I don't tell them _everything. _You know more about me than they ever have. Did you tell your friends about me?"

He didn't say anything so I took that as my answer. "Exactly, its hard to tell the people who think they know you best that you've become the person you said you would never be." He rolled his eyes at my response and leaned over to kiss my forehead before we walked into Esme's office to find Bree.

"I guess we will be shocking the hell out of a lot of people together this weekend, Rock Star."

"Maybe we should set them all down in a circle and do it intervention style." I joked bumping him with my hip playfully.

He smirked and swiftly nodded his head two times with a grin on his face, "Maybe."

* * *

Bree hadn't stopped talking since we'd gotten into the van. She was beyond excited over getting a solo day with us and even more so that we were taking her to the skate park.

"So I told Chad that I was coming today with you, and he totally didn't believe me. He said I was lying and that if you did show up he would give me twenty dollars. I am so spending that twenty dollars on a subscription to Thrasher."

Thrasher was a skateboarding magazine.

"Good call kid-o." Edward replied shooting her a smile in the rearview mirror. She gave him a thumbs up then started in on Halloween coming up next month and the costume she wanted to make. I smiled listening to her and Edward go back and forth about what would be needed for the best zombie costume ever. I felt my heart swell over the sight of her laughing and joking with him as we continued down the road. He was so good with her. It just seemed so natural for him. Watching the two of them banter back and forth together seriously warmed my heart unlike anything else.

When we got to the park we told Bree to sit still for a moment while Edward turned off the van and hopped in the back with us.

"We got you a little something. Now if the other kids ask, you have to tell them you won it in a raffle so no one gets jealous." I told her then stole a glance at Edward who was already smiling while he watched our exchange.

"What?! Of course! No one has ever given me anything. What is it?" She asked stretching her neck to see what I was pulling out from behind the back seat. When she saw the purple and teal skateboard she let out the loudest shrill I had ever heard. Edward and I were both laughing while she jumped up and down in her seat with excitement. She was speaking but honestly not making any sense. When we gave her the pack with all her new safety gear she leaped into my arms and hugged me so tightly I thought she'd turned into a tiny grown adult.

"Thank you so much Ms. Bella. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." Bree whispered beside my ear while her arms continued to hug me tightly around my neck.

"You're welcome kid. Thank you for being my own little watch dog. You've got a special heart. I hope you know that. So because of that we wanted to do something special for you." I told her hugging her back with my eyes closed to hide the tears that were fighting to break through. When she released me to hug Edward I quickly took that as my opportunity to wipe my face and gather my composure.

"Could I ask you guys something?" she cautiously asked after sitting back in her seat in front of us. She looked shy all of the sudden which was rare. I could tell whatever it was she was wanting to say, it was something that was important to her.

"Do you think…. maybe…. I mean if it's okay with Mrs. Esme, do you think we could go trick or treating together, like as a family. A zombie family I mean. I have a stuffed dog I could mess up and drag on a leash. It could be really awesome. I mean it's the closest I'll probably ever get to having a real family. You and Edward are like the mom and dad I've always dreamed of having. Could we maybe do that? Please?" She begged, making my eyes fill with random tears once again. I looked at Edward and took in a deep breath to compose myself before speaking.

"Bree, Halloween night is our last night here. I think our housemates might have something planned." I explained.

"Oh."

She looked absolutely heart broken. I turned to get help from Edward, unsure of how he felt about her request, expecting him to give me an 'absolutely not' look, but he instead nodded his head then mouthed the words; 'Let's do it.'

"Okay, we can go. If Mrs. Esme says it's okay. We can take you to a few houses." I told her, earning myself another bone crushing hug. "Jesus child, you need to cut back on the Wheaties for breakfast." I teased hugging her back. She giggled and released me to wrap her arms around Edward again.

"Thanks you guys. I can't frigin wait! It's going to be epic!" she giggled and pushed the van door open to hop out without saying another word.

I smiled at Edward and shrugged feeling speechless.

He looked down at me with a crooked grin I instantly wanted to kiss off his face, "It will be fun," he insisted.

"Another first. I've never been trick or treating." I casually admitted as we followed Bree up to the entrance of the park.

"What?! Oh hell no. We are going to get mad loot then! Jesus, your childhood really was fucked up Bella." he toyed playfully.

"And now you _finally_ understand!" I laughed and threw a playful punch to his arm. "It felt good to see her smile like that." I added getting serious for a moment.

"Yeah. It did. Let's go help her smile some more. We're not leaving till I've got her dropping in on the half pipe better than this Chad chump."

I laughed and gave him a thumbs up then took his hand to go join Bree at the corner of the park, where she was already suiting up on the bleachers.

* * *

We'd just gotten home from the school and I was feeling exhausted after running around the skate park all afternoon snapping picture of Edward and Bree on their boards. All I wanted to do was curl up under the covers with my boyfriend and take a nap till dinner.

"I'm going to go lay down for a little while." I whispered into Edwards ear after sneaking up on him at the computer. He was checking his email to see if his friends had sent him anything.

"Yeah? Ok, one sec. I could use a little _nap_ myself before tonight gets underway." he answered turning his chair around to pull me into his lap. I smiled feeling his lips on my shoulder blade from where he held me tightly in his arms and leaned into him while my eyes impulsively scanned the computer screen. I couldn't help but notice several incoming emails from a Vic_ten89 Gmaildotcom.

_Be cool. He's allowed to converse with his female friends._

_Even if she was a female who had almost had his baby. _

"She wrote me to make sure it was still cool for her to come out with the guys. I guess they forewarned her that I had someone special in my life now." Edward spoke up, apparently reading my thoughts.

"It's okay. You're allowed to get emails from your ex." I replied without much emotion.

"She really isn't a bad person. She just had a momentarily fucked up lapse in judgment."

"I'll say. But her fuck up was my gain. It says a lot that you were able to forgive her." I replied, doing my best to hide the hate and distrust I felt for the girl I hadn't even met yet.

He smiled and nodded his head then leaned in to kiss my lips softly. "Let's get up stairs."

"I'll race you." I challenged with a smirk then jumped off his lap. I took off out of the room to run past our roommates who were sitting around playing poker at the dining room table.

"There they go again. I swear they're like goddamn rabbits." Rose yelled loud enough for us to hear. I threw her my middle finger from behind my back and continued to run out of the room and up the stairs to our bedroom. I pulled my shirt from my body and kicked my shorts from my legs before jumping into my bed. Edward was right behind me and swiftly removed his own clothes, leaving nothing but his boxers on.

The camera guy, unfortunately, had also joined us and stationed himself beside the potted plant by the doorway.

"Today was fun." Edward whispered softly after wrapping me in his arms. It was still daylight outside but the curtains were drawn guarding us from the sun that was starting to set.

"It really was. Hopefully Esme will let us take Bree out more." I agreed closing my eyes after feeling his breath on my neck. He bit my ear playfully and gradually ran his hands across my stomach bringing goose bumps across my skin. I smiled as he pulled me in tighter against him so I could feel his firmed dick press against my backside. I let out a moan and reached behind me to run my own hand down his back feeling his bare skin press against mine. "We're supposed to be napping." I reminded him, already smiling to myself because I knew that was absolutely out of the question now.

"What's that saying? Something about sleeping when we're dead?" he teased slowly cupping my breasts with the opened palms of his hands. I arched my back into him and changed the extension of my arm to reach in front of his chest to casually slide my hand down towards the opening of his boxers.

"Well in that case," I answered before easily turning myself around to start kissing at his neck. I continued the kisses down his sternum ever so slowly towards his navel as he latched his hand onto my locks. I glanced up into his empowering eyes before lifting the comforter up over my head so I'd be hidden from the camera that was spying on us from the corner of the room.

He swiftly joined me under the covers and looked down into my eyes as I took his firmed prize into my hand beside my parted lips. "Is this okay?"

"I sure as hell won't stop you." he answered just above a whisper then closed his eyes as I slide my mouth around his perfection.

"Fuck!" he moaned over and over again while I moved my mouth up and down beside my hand with sensual purpose on his cock. "Jesus, Bella!" He tugged at my bottom dreads guiding me just the way I liked but never needed. I glanced up at him smiling around his firm dick over the sight of the blissful expression on his face while he continued to lowly moan my name over and over again. "Bella. Bella, I'm coming!" he suddenly exclaimed holding my head still between the palms of his hands. The taste of his satisfaction running across my tongue and down my throat caused me to moan and lean into him not wanting to let a drop escape from between my lips. "You and that mouth of yours are so goddamn amazing, baby."

"And I bet _now_ you're ready for that nap." I whispered wiping my bottom lip with my index finger while he looked down at me with pure admiration.

"More like I'm ready to fuck you into tomorrow, Rock Star." he challenged running his hands up and down my hips. He laced his fingers under my ass and pulled me up on top of him to look me straight in the eyes. "You have seriously made me the luckiest man in the world."

"I bet you say that to all the girls after a decent blow job," I teased then kissed his nose.

"You, are _not _like any other girl, Bella Swan."

"And we absolutely agree with that statement bro!" a new voice suddenly spoke up from the other side of our comforter. I looked at Edward panicked and saw him roll his eyes then smirk.

"Shit. Garrett! What have I told you about cock blocking?!" He yelled with the covers still over our heads.

"Dude, your cock most certainly just threw up all over the place. We kindly waited to prevent said blocking. Now get your ass out from under those covers and introduce us to this girl who has tamed the beast!"

I smiled feeling my cheeks turn red and buried my head into his chest, "This is so not how I wanted to meet your friends." I whispered feeling slightly mortified.

"I'm sorry. They have a hard time with boundaries." he replied then kissed me two times. I readjusted myself into my bra and panties then slowly removed the blanket from over our heads.

"Hey Cullen. Your housemates let us in. They warned us what we might walk in on, but we told them we didn't give a shit." A cute, tall, dark haired, and extremely tan looking guy shared while smirking at me.

I smiled back and smoothed my hair down at the top of my head, and behind my shoulders.

"You must be Bella."

"Guilty." I replied while extending my arm out to him from where I was still sitting up against Edward in my bed.

"You guys are early." Edward mumbled after bumping fists with two of the three guys. I immediately noticed Vic was absent and wondered if it had been that way the entire time, or just after Edward had started to scream my name in ecstasy.

"We thought we would surprise you. So, surprise!" the thin, dark skinned one with tiny dreads at the top of his head announced as a devious grin spread across his face.

"Bella, meet Laurent. That douche bag over there is Garrett, and then the guy hugging the doorway like a scared virginal kitten is Ben."

"Fuck you bro!" Ben shouted with a nervous laugh then shot me a head nod.

"Hi. It's nice to finally meet you guys." I replied giving my best smile as I scanned back and forth between the three of them. "Um. Do you mind throwing me my clothes?" I asked looking at Garrett. He smirked and bent down to pick up my shorts and t-shirt then tossed them over to me.

"Vic stepped out. For obvious reasons." Laurent shared with a light chuckle. Edward shot him a menacing look that I did my best to ignore.

"This is so not how I wanted us to meet." I shared feeling overly embarrassed all of the sudden.

"It's cool. Hearing Edward whimper like a baby was awesome." Garrett teased earning him a pillow to the face.

"Shut up dude! Seriously! Can you give us a minute? I'll meet you guys down stairs." He told them throwing me another regretful glance.

I smiled letting him know I was fine and saw his shoulders relax a little.

"Sure, sure. Take your time." Garrett answered and slapped Laurent on the shoulder to guide him back through the beaded curtain in our doorway.

"I am _so_ sorry."

"It's okay. Really." I laughed touching the side of Edwards face and tracing his jaw line with my fingertips. "It could have been worse. At least we had a blanket over us. It's not like millions of people won't see and hear what they just did." I reminded him with a smirk.

"This is true!" he laughed and kissed my neck before pulling me back down on top of him, "I'm mostly sorry I didn't get to return the _favor." _

"There's always tonight, M&M." I teased and pinched his nipple playfully before jumping out of the bed.

He nodded his head silently agreeing with me then stood up to pull his sweat pants and t-shirt back on before placing his hands at my hips to drawl me in for another hug. "We'll have to get Tanya to spend the night out."

"I think I can arrange that." I replied with a laugh, then told him I'd meet him downstairs after I brushed my teeth. He smiled, leaned in to kiss my forehead, and released me to head out of the room leaving me behind to gather my composure and freshen up. After visiting the bathroom I stopped at the house phone upstairs and dialed Demetri's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dem. You have any plans for tonight?" I asked not wasting any time to get to the reason for my call.

"I knew after hanging out yesterday you'd have a change of heart, Bella. What time should I pick you up?"

"Oh shut it. Not for me. Tanya needs a night out. We've got some friends coming into town and if you want to keep her attention this weekend I'd suggest getting her away from here for the night."

"I see, okay. I mean we usually hook up Friday nights. Is she there? I'll call back and ask for her."

"Yup! Awesome. I'll see you later then."

"Looking forward to it, Bells. Oh by the way, I finished editing all your shots. If you want I could bring a flash drive over when I come to pick up Tanya. Wait till you see the finished layout. Your body, and your gorgeous face… fucking flawless." he added, instantly reminding me of the day we had spent together with me wearing barely nothing in front of his camera. The day I'd almost made an absolutely terrible mistake that would have taken me backwards several hundred steps.

"Stop being ridiculous. I can't wait to see it though. Later Dem." I heard him return the goodbye and hung up the phone then took a deep breath to make my way down the stairs. I could hear Edward and his friends laughing outside on the back patio. Once I was in the kitchen I looked out the window and saw the back of Vic's head standing beside Edward who was leaning away from her against the wall next to the hot tub.

"We heard you gave quite the auditory-slash-silhouette show up there, Hells Bells." Emmett teased with a poke to my side.

I blushed and shook my head with a roll of my eyes. "Way to refrain from giving us a _heads_ up, jerk face. Some housemate you are." I replied punching him in the arm. Rose was watching us from the living room where she, Tanya, and Alice were all whispering in a huddled circle on the couch. I shot her a sarcastic smile and turned around to pull a glass down from the cabinet to fill it with water. I took a sip and again glanced out the back window, this time catching Edward smiling at me. He motioned with his hand for me to come join them, so I nodded and gulped my water down then dropped my glass in the sink and took a deep breath.

"And here she is! The famous Bella, in the flesh, but fully clothed!" Garrett announced with a laugh as I made my way towards Edward.

"Oh leave the girl alone Gare." Ben shot back in my defense. I immediately directed my eyes towards him to thank him with an easy smile and wink of my eye.

"It's okay. I'm used to hearing random declarations over the fact that I'm actually wearing clothes." I teased with a smirk then flipped my dreads back behind my shoulder.

"Really? Well then, it sounds like we're going to get along great!" Garrett replied with a laugh as his eyes scanned me up and down.

"Nice dreads." Laurent commented after watching me cross in front of him where he was standing with his beer.

"Thanks, you too."

"Nothing in comparison to yours. Are they hard to manage? I mean being a white girl and all."

"No, not really. Edward likes to help me. I'm sure he can start lending you a hand too," I answered with a quiet laugh then turned my attention to Vic for the first time. She'd remained silent and when our eyes met, for a split second, I swear I saw the purest look of hate in her stare. She was quick to replace it with a fake smile. I gladly offered her one of my own. She was wearing a ridiculously short jean skirt and a bright yellow tank top with red and white stripes down the sides.

Paired with her bright red hair, she looked like a damn female version of Ronald McDonald.

I smiled at the mental image and took it upon myself to take the first step in our introductions since it seemed no one else would. "You must be Vic. It's nice to finally meet you." Everyone stood there quietly watching our awkward exchange as she said nothing in return. "Okay let's just squash this right now so we can get on with the weekend. You used to fuck Edward, and now I do. We can either get along or you can hate me, it honestly doesn't matter to me either way. It's only three days." She looked absolutely shell shocked. Edward let out a nervous laugh then took my hand to slowly pull me in up against him.

"Wow, you're seriously amazing. Marry me, Bella?" Garrett joked again with a few short claps of his hands.

"Garrett shut up. She's mine. Bella's right though. There's no point dancing around the facts. Are you going to play nice Vic?" Edward asked forcing her to answer.

"Absolutely. I thought I made that clear in my emails, Edward." she finally answered with a smirk. She apparently thought announcing that they had been corresponding would anger me. I remained calm and didn't even bat an eyelash. "It's nice to meet you Bella. I have every intention to have a nice weekend without any drama. Promise."

I smiled and nodded my head then leaned further into Edward after he increased his grasp around me.

"Sounds good. Let's get the party started then!" Garrett announced clinging his bottle to Edwards. He smiled and nodded his head then leaned in to kiss my lips softly. All at once they instantly started talking about their cross country road trip from L.A. to Charleston. I was too busy watching Victoria shift her weight nervously while stealing glances in Edwards' direction. Because of that I really couldn't pay attention to Ben's story about how they had shacked up one night with a traveling carnival and learned the truth about all of the shady fairway games.

_Bitch is seriously going to push my limits this weekend. _

_Stay calm, Bella. Three days and she's gone._

_But not forever. At least not if I plan on seeing Edward after we get out of this house._

_Super._

This was the reason why I didn't have many female friends. Constant competition was not something I enjoyed. Vic looked up at me and smiled sweetly, catching me staring straight at her. I ignored her and redirected my attention to Edward who was now telling everyone about Bree, and our day at the skate park.

Thankfully, this was a conversation I could actually pay attention to and forget about the trampy redhead who was currently threatening the happy bubble I had managed to surround myself and Edward in over the last two weeks.

I impulsively found myself feeling anxious for the arrival of my own friends. I knew they would help distract me from wanting to scratch her eyeballs out and rip her red hair from her head. Suddenly, tomorrow morning couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

It was about eleven thirty when Demetri finally showed up to take our roommate out for the night. It had been an awkward start to the evening but now that everyone had a fair amount of alcohol in them, things had settled down and we were all having a fairly good time out back. Emmett, Rose, and Alice, were sitting in the hot tub with Ben and Laurent while Edward, Garrett, James, Vic and I sat around in a circle a few feet away.

"Demetri! What's up dude!" Emmett boomed waving his beer in his hand towards our newest visitor.

He smiled and gave a wave. I watched him scan the room till our eyes met. I took a gulp from my mixed drink and forced a smile in his direction when he began walking our way. Even though he had behaved yesterday while we'd worked at his computer editing, I still didn't fully trust him.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

"Going good. These are my friends Garret and Victoria. Over there is Ben and Laurent. Guys this is Demetri, Tanya's friend."

"Aw, I'm everyone's friend. Right, Bella?" I narrowed my eyes in his direction and slowly nodded my head while giving him a look that told him to tread carefully. "I brought that zip drive. Wanna take a look before Tanya and I head out?"

"Yeah sure. I'll be right back." Edward gave me a concerned look. I smiled and shook my head then leaned over to kiss him before starting to follow Demetri.

"Dude, that guy totally wants to fuck your girl." I heard Garrett mutter under his breath. I stopped for a moment then heard Edward lightly laugh.

"Yeah well, he can _want_ but that doesn't mean he will ever _have_."

I smiled hearing his response and returned to making my way back into the house.

"So those are Edwards' friends from out west?"

"Yup, and mine get here tomorrow. We'll be going over to Volturi's for open mic night. Me and the guys are going to play a few songs." I told him feeling thankful for the small talk.

"Sounds fun. What's the story with the red head throwing you daggers?"

I laughed hearing that he had picked up on Victoria's obvious dislike of me in a matter of seconds.

"She's Edwards childhood best friend, but they dated and lived together for a little while last year." I took a seat in front of the computer and extended my hand out to take the black zip drive from him.

"Ha! Awkward weekend! Good times." He placed the drive in my hand and suggestively brushed my finger tips with his own while smiling into my eyes from where he'd squatted down beside me.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that," I warned redirecting my stare to the computer screen.

"Do I need to remind you that you didn't seem to mind so much at Aro's not too long ago?" he teased while the pictures loaded onto the screen in front of us.

"Jesus Demetri. I was drunk and stoned out of my mind." I mumbled through clenched teeth wishing I could go back in time and erase that entire evening.

He laughed and nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah you really were." he teased further just as I let out a gasp seeing the first page of my lay out pull up onto the screen. "I told you. You were on fire that day."

"This is… It's actually really good Demetri." I whispered staring at myself on the computer screen wearing practically nothing in most of the shots but still covered just enough to keep from exposing too much. "Like you're actually a legit photographer, and web designer." he laughed and nodded his head looking at the pictures on the screen, admiring his work.

"You made my job very easy. The hardest part was narrowing down my favorites. It normally takes me a month to edit just right, but your shots hardly needed any tweaking. You were an absolute natural. So damn sexy." I smiled at his compliment and thanked him with a bump of my shoulder.

"I bet you say that to all your girls." I teased without thinking then hated myself for it. He grinned and shook his head.

"_Nope, _only the one who successfully captured my every thought for the last eleven days."

"Demetri." I warned then sat myself up straight in my seat. "You behaved so well yesterday! What the hell?!"

"I'm teasing you. Relax. Jesus. You used to be a lot more fun. Is this what having a boyfriend does to you?" I looked at him surprised by his knowledge of mine and Edwards status change, "Tanya just told me. Aro called it though. That night after you left the bar with Edward. He totally said you would be off the market in a matter of days. We could tell something was different yesterday. When she told me I decided I had to fuck with you just a little bit."

I rolled my eyes and continued to scroll through the pictures, stopping on the ones of me wearing a white lace bustier with my hair pulled up. I was holding a vintage mirror in my hand as my eyes looked back at the camera through the reflective glass. If it weren't for my tattoos, I wouldn't have even recognized myself.

"Classy but still absolutely fuck-able." Demetri whispered lowly. I turned and shoved him then quickly closed the windows and removed the zip drive to hand it back to him.

"It looks great. Just send an anonymous check to, 'Their Place', and we're straight as far as my payment. As for my _Demetri's Deviant Dolls _alias, I was thinking Sadie Belle. It was the name I used on my fake I.D. back when I was a teenager. The guys back home will get a kick out of it.

"Ok, I like it. I'll start your Triple D logo tomorrow and we'll be all set."

"What are you guys up to in here?" Tanya asked after suddenly appearing in the doorway wearing a tiny black mini dress and her black vinyl stripper heels.

"Just work stuff, gorgeous. You ready to go?" he asked standing up to meet her and pull her up against him sending a spontaneous giggle through her lips.

"Alright, you two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I toyed and shot Demetri a smirk then mentally slapped myself again.

_Christ this non flirting stuff is going to be hard to get use to._

When I went out into the living room I was surprised to find everyone inside standing around the pool table or in the kitchen. Edward and Vic however, were over in the corner by themselves quietly talking. As much as I wanted to walk over and wrap my legs around his torso, to stake my claim, I controlled the urge and instead made my way past them into the kitchen to get a refill.

I saw Garrett watching me from the pool table and could tell he was calculating something in his head when he began walking my way. "So, Edward tells me you two are actually a thing now, not just fuck-buddies." he stated nonchalantly after joining me at the bar.

"That's one way to start a conversation." I teased. I was doing my best to keep myself from constantly looking over in Edward and Vic's direction but I could feel myself failing miserably.

"Sorry, I'm blunt and filter-less when I'm not sober."

"It's cool. You actually remind me of one of my best friends back home. I'm blunt when I am sober. To answer your question, yeah, we're giving the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing a try. Tell me something though, has Vic moved on since murdering her and Edwards unborn baby, or does she really still have a thing for him?"

"Wow. You weren't joking about your lack of a filter were you, woman."

"Maybe, but I'm also no longer sober, which means my filter is dialed _way_ down at the moment." I smirked and raised my glass towards his beer bottle to cling it between us.

He smiled at me and reached out to touch one of my dreads with his hands, "Fair enough. I don't want to start any drama though."

"Honey, as long as I don't catch her trying to stick her tongue down his throat or wrap her legs around his body, I promise to play nice." I insisted just as the redheaded skank monkey laughed loudly over something Edward had said. I narrowed my eyes and took in a deep breath after seeing her latch onto his arm.

"You shouldn't worry about Vic. He never really loved her. He just felt trapped by the situation and because he's a good guy he was determined to do the right thing. Edwards got it bad for you. Like, I don't even know who he is anymore, bad. From what I've seen, and _heard, _she's got nothing on you." His honest response helped me both relax and blush.

"Thanks, I needed to hear that."

"No sweat babe. Cheers." he knocked my glass again with his bottle and walked away to join his buddies at the pool table. After pouring myself a quick shot and throwing it back at my lips, I took my filled drink and walked outside where I'd spotted Alice and James. As hard as it was to give Edward his space to have time with his friends, I was determined to not be that girl who hovered around her boyfriend.

"What's up kiddo?" James asked after I took a seat beside them on the swing.

"Nothing much. Feeling anxious. Slightly violent." I admitted bashfully after setting my glass down by my feet to light a cigarette at my mouth. I exhaled a cloud of smoke and leaned back with a sigh that made James laugh quietly.

"You're adorable. I'm proud of you for pacing yourself though. This time two weeks ago you would have finished a small bottle of vodka by now. Vic is a mere peasant in comparison to you, Bella. Just take a deep breath and remember its only a few days, and you're the one who has already stolen Edwards heart." I ignored his overly romantic comment and looked out at the darkness that ran across our yard. I hadn't even noticed the camera guy standing off to the side, but the sight of him instantly created a sneer across my face.

"You know getting drunk helps blur the potted plants. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to kick things up a notch?" I commented then leaned down to pick up my drink and gulp down the remaining iced liquid. "Alice, when's your next date with your cowboy?" I asked wanting to redirect the conversation.

"Tomorrow. We're going to dinner then meeting everyone at the bar to see you and your friends play,"

I smiled at her answer and made a mental note to pull her aside tomorrow afternoon for a pep talk, just like I'd promised Jasper. Apparently things had been going amazing between the two of them, but every time he tried to kiss her she would only let it last a few split seconds then back away. Jasper was dying for another lip lock like the one they had shared during our truth and dare game when they had sucked each others faces for the first time.

"There you are, what are you guys doing out here? The party is inside." Edward asked appearing in the doorway. He extended his hand out to me and pulled me up from my seat after I tossed my half smoked cigarette into the ashtray on the side table.

"Just letting you catch up with your friends." I answered avoiding his eyes.

"I can do that with you in my arms, baby." His response made my toes curl and my cheeks blush. I heard Alice giggle and shot her a look that made her instantly apologize.

"Smooth Cullen, you two are on the fast track to becoming one of _those_ couples." James teased with a cheesy thumbs up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw everyone start to make their way out back again. I felt my smile fall at the sight of Vic-onald Mcdonald when she joined our conversation and placed her hand on Edwards forearm to ask him where the bathroom was.

I sneered watching her head back inside then felt bad seeing Edwards concerned expression. He instantly leaned in to kiss me firmly on the mouth. "Relax, Rock Star."

"I'm sorry. This is all new to me. This jealousy crap when I actually have a right to _be _territorial. I hate it."

"It's kind of turning me on, to be totally honest," he whispered back into my ear. He bit at it playfully with his teeth then snaked his arms around my hips to press me against him. I giggled and buried my head into his neck to return the playful nibble.

"Want to go fool around in the computer room?" I teased not expecting him to actually take me up on my offer.

"The beauty of being in a relationship, openly, Bella, is that you can publicly fool around, to a certain degree, without it becoming whisper worthy." he replied tilting my chin up to kiss me with so much force that when we parted I had my back pressed against the wall and my leg hitched around his. I was struggling to catch my breath as he stared down into my eyes with an accomplished smirk on his lips.

"That wasn't very nice, Edward. Now I need you that much more." I pouted instantly bringing his mouth back to mine. His tongue slid between my lips and moved in such a way I felt my knees begin to tremble. I could taste the alcohol on him. This was definitely the drunkest I'd ever seen him but it didn't change the fact that I was currently under his control. His hand ran up my neck holding me firmly in place. Our mouths continued to move against one another with sensual purpose, all while our housemates and his friends stood just a few feet away. We'd never been this open or shown this much PDA. Just suggestive comments, a few pop kisses, and random short lived moments of groping, but nothing like this.

This was liberating.

My right leg slowly lifted itself further to wrap around his thigh drawling him in closer against me. His body continued to press me into the wall while my hands got lost in his hair. When we finally parted I stared into his eyes and smiled with our foreheads pressed against each other.

"I love that," I whispered, softly touching his bottom lip with my finger.

"What?"

"When you kiss me, like you mean it." I answered smiling at his raised grin over the sound of my words.

"Of course I mean it. You're my world now. Always. No matter who else is around. You're the one person who gives it all meaning." I felt my heart skip a beat over his response and closed my eyes willing myself to push back the happy tears that were suddenly threatening me in my tipsy state.

"You're drunk." I replied, looking for an easy way to convince myself that he didn't really mean what he had just said.

"Maybe, but that just means I'm being that much more honest."

"Got your beer mic on do you?" I teased then kissed his cheek letting my lips linger beside his ear for a few seconds before whispering, "Now I'm that much more excited to get you into my bed tonight, M&M". I slid my hand down his chest and continued south towards the zipper of his pants where I playfully grabbed at his abruptly awaken dick. "and it looks like I'm not the only one excited." I added with a short giggle before biting down on his ear lobe.

"Fuck. I'll meet you upstairs in ten minutes."

I laughed and placed my hand on his chest to look him in the eyes, "It's still early Edward. You should spend time with your friends. I'll be ready for you, just don't pass out in a drunken stupor." I warned with a devious smirk.

"But, I."

"Take a deep breath, calm your cock, and I'll be waiting for you. Go have fun. They're only here for a few nights." I insisted then pushed him away from me playfully. He looked severely battered over me insisting we postpone our drunken love making, but I was determined that he at least stay down stairs till the cameras went away for the night. "It's better to wait. Less eyes." I reminded him then leaned in one last time to bring my lips to his. "I'll see you in a few hours. I mean it. Go. Have fun." I ordered and slapped his ass playfully before turning to make my way inside.

I refilled my drink at the bar and slowly headed up the stairs taking my time because my depth perception was apparently beginning to suffer. Before going into our room I heard someone whispering around the corner in the phone booth.

It was Vic. She sounded slightly bothered.

"She's nothing but a trashy tattooed stoner. I don't even know what he sees in her. I know right… Who hooks up with someone on a television show for all the world to see… This isn't the damn Bachelor… Haha… Seriously though, wait till you see her… All those news stories are totally right. I almost feel bad for her, it's so obvious he's only using her as a rebound and doing this show to bring attention back to his skating career. She's just another conquest. I swear I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. He still loves me… I'll get him to admit it before the weekend is over. Screw little miss dreadhead. She can go buy herself a new boy toy, but Edward will always be mine."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

I mean, was this real life? Or was I a lot more intoxicated than I thought?

Me, a rebound? No way in hell. Edward had hooked up with lots of other women since Victoria crushed his heart.

Right?

I had the sudden urge to rush into the phone booth and use the receiver to bash her face in. Her words were spinning in my head as I heard her end the phone call with an obnoxious kissing sound smacking from her lips. Quickly, I ducked into Rose and Emmett's room to hide like a coward while I watched Vic walk down the staircase past me.

_Fucking SHEDEVIL bitch. I'm no one's rebound._

_I mean sure I have been in the past, but not with Edward. _

I stood in the shadows quickly trying to decide what my next move would be.

Run downstairs and confront the skank in front of everyone? Or go get myself all dolled up in my sexiest bedtime outfit and wait for Edward under my sheets so I could let him prove to me that he really was into me_…_into_ us,_ for me, and not just the game.

* * *

**A/N: Who want's to throw something at Vic? How about Demetri? **

**This chapter was a little difficult, I must have gone back and gutted it then started again three or four times. Fact: Bella's grown a lot. She's finally starting to trust her heart. It was a long time coming. I mean she couldn't keep running from the truth forever. Will she regret her decision? Will it come back to bite her in the ass and knock her to the ground? Is Vic on her way to a Dreadilocks beat down? What's going to happen when Bella's boys come? Ah so many questions! **

**Thanks for reading! And a huge welcome and thank you to all the new readers I've picked up thanks to this story being nominated for Fic of the Week over at, The Lemonade Stand. I hope you'll stick around to see how things end.**

**Next chapter…. Things get turbulent. **

***Reviews make me smile, and as thanks you'll receive an outtake from this chapter. *please note, if you review as a "guest" I will be unable to reply with the outtake. Leave me your email address and I will gladly forward it that way.***

**Till next time! **


	21. Bubble Goes POP

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: Hi again! Huge thanks to everyone who left reviews for the last chapter. I hope you all liked the outtake. I think Garrett is one of my new favorite characters, haha. This chapter ended up really long so I decided to break it up into CH 22, which is already finished and being sent to my beta tonight. This is another interactive chapter, meaning there's a song Bella will sing, and on my profile you can find a link to a Youtube video of the song being played live to help you really feel like you were there. If you're not a Straylight Run fan can I just suggest you do yourself a huge favor and check them out. Their music is a huge inspiration for this story. Alright thats enough babbling. Let's tune in and see what's going on in the house this week. **

* * *

**Bubble Goes POP**

**Chapter 21**

**~BELLA~**

I fell backwards onto my bed and pulled a pillow over my face to muffle the stream of obscenities that were currently pouring from my mouth, "Fucking bitch, whore, cunt, two faced, skank of a twat!"

What the hell did she know? I mean sure, she'd known Edward most of his life, and he had been there for her through every monumental memory. She probably felt she knew him better than anyone else, and maybe she did, but she had also nearly paralyzed him with her selfishness. What made her think that she could just come here, and he would suddenly think she deserved another chance when he had apparently never even truly loved her in the first place?

_Girl is nuts. _

_That or you don't know the whole truth._

_In the history of man, no one has ever been one hundred percent truthful about a past relationship, Swan._

_This is fact. Don't be stupid. Perhaps there really is more to their story than you know. _

"SHUT UP!" I frantically yelped to myself then jumped up from my bed and grabbed Jane to go sit on the ledge outside our bedroom window. My thoughts were beginning to pile up and spiral. I needed some fresh air and I needed to get lost with my music or else I'd inevitably start to drive myself bat shit crazy over analyzing everything.

I brashly ran my fingers across Jane's strings and began humming along as I played one of Edward's favorites. Every once in a while I had to bite down on my lip to keep myself from opening my mouth to sing out loud. I couldn't wait to play on stage with the guys tomorrow night. Truthfully, playing music was my only distraction these days. I released a loud huff and leaned back against the wall to take a break and rest my fingertips so that I could also take a sip from my drink. I could hear everyone talking around back and smiled to myself after hearing Edward loudly laugh.

_Why are you up here, when it's so obvious you want to be down there?_

_Easy, I'm giving him space. _

_Plus, I don't trust myself around Vic-onald McDonald. _

One more obnoxious sneer, and the It's Real Life house would spiral into the Bad Girls Club.

Just a few more drinks downstairs, and I would have definitely started spewing my truer feelings about Edward's redheaded friend and her unwanted visit. More importantly, why she was really here.

But I would not allow myself to become _that _girl.

If she wanted to play. We would play. She had no idea who she was messing with.

My fingers quickly began strumming again, and I forced myself to focus on my music, scribbling possible lyrics down in my notebook whenever they would hit me. Thankfully, time began to easily fly by. I noticed the moons change in position above me and peered into the window squinting to make out the time on the clock between the beds.

It was already after three a.m. but I could see almost all the lights were still on downstairs. When I turned my head to look towards the back of the house, I noticed the lights on the patio had been turned off and things had quieted down. It was starting to get seriously chilly outside so I grabbed my notebook and scooted myself back through the window onto my bed. After taking in a forced breath I sat my stuff off to the side and made my way into the bathroom to get changed for bed.

I was doing my best to keep my mind pre-occupied by humming the song I had been working on while I washed my face at the sink. Quickly, I undressed and tossed my dirty clothes towards the corner of the room then slipped into my favorite tiny-almost see through-white lace tank top and itty bitty red lace bikini briefs. I offered my reflection a smile but it was short lived. My body was definitely beginning to feel withdrawal symptoms thanks to Edward's absence.

"This sharing shit frigin sucks donkey balls." I mumbled to myself then flipped the light switch off and forced my legs to take me back out into the bedroom to lay in my bed, _alone_. Impulsively I started humming Green Day's, 'All By Myself' which created a slight smile across my face. I couldn't help but remember the time the guys and I had played it at an open mic night outside of town. I'd of course suggestively simulated some self-gratification from behind the mic after having one too many before taking the stage that night.

_Good times. _

I was surprised to find the room pitch black. All the lights seemed to have been turned off outside of the room as well. I stopped short in the doorway and reached out to feel my way in the darkness back towards my bed.

After taking my first step, someone's hands grabbed at my waist and pushed me up against the bathroom door I had just pulled closed behind me. A hand covered my mouth to muffle my surprised yelp, and deja-vu quickly settled in.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh," Edward's smooth voice commanded. I could smell the alcohol on his skin and for some twisted reason it made me smile. It was rare for me to be the partially sober one and him to be on the other end. "Do you remember our first night in this room, Bella?"

"How could I forget?" I whispered back as soon as he'd removed his hand from covering my lips.

"It was without a doubt one of the single best nights of my entire existence."

I giggled softly over his affirmation and ran my hands down his chest to the elastic band of his pants to tug playfully. "I guess it's safe to now admit that it ranks fairly high on my list too," I teased with a smirk as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. He grinned and leaned in to bring his lips to mine allowing our mouths to linger for a moment against one another before they began to move sensually with both need and hunger.

It felt amazing to finally get my Edward fix again.

Frighteningly, amazing.

"Fuck, I hated being away from you."

Hearing him say that brought the truest smile to my face. "It was torture for me too. Did you have a good time though?" I asked as his teeth began to nibble at the space between my earlobe and neck. I giggled lightly over his touch and slid my hands across his hips to bring him in closer against me as he pressed my back further into the wall.

"I did, but all I could think about was getting up here to you. As soon as the cameras turned off I started hinting it was time for them to head to their hotel. Garrett is passed out down stairs. We couldn't get his ass up." Edward shared as we slowly began making our way towards my bed. "Are you trying to kill me in this outfit?"

"What, this? It's just a tank top and some panties." I toyed innocently.

"Bella, even in the dark I can see your nipples through that shirt."

"Well that's entirely your fault, M&M. Not mine. They're obviously just thrilled to see you." I teased further. He let out a hungry growl and swiftly lifted me up off my feet so my legs would straddle his body as he held me in the air against him. I smiled into his eyes and leaned down to kiss his lips once more. "Being away from you like that, when you were just down stairs, it was seriously painful."

"Then I hope you learned your lesson. There's no reason why you can't hang out with us. They loved you."

"Huh… I don't think I got a passing score from _everyone." _I replied trying my best to hide my bitterness.

Edward frowned and slowly turned around to lay me onto the bed. He brought his own shirtless body down beside me and quickly pulled me back into his arms. "I really wish you wouldn't worry about her."

"I _really_ wish I wouldn't either." I forced a smile but knew better than to think he would buy it.

"She's only a friend, Bella. She's only _ever _been a friend. Nothing more. Even when I almost proposed, it wasn't because I loved her. It was because it was the right thing to do."

This revelation stunned me, "You almost _proposed_ to her?"

He paused realizing what he had said and slowly nodded his head.

"Wow… that's… did she know?"

"Maybe, I don't know. That time is a blur. What would it matter?" he asked running his hand up my shirt past my belly button, "_She _doesn't matter, Bella. _You_, are all that matters." his words caused my lips to raise into a crooked grin.

"That's sweet."

"It's the damn truth. Nothing before you can even compare." he insisted cupping my face with his hand. I looked him in the eyes and felt my heart rate accelerate.

"You're drunk." I reminded him as my own hand reached out to gently touch his own beautifully flawless features.

He smiled and nodded his head, "Yeah, I am, which means I also just spent the last forty-five minutes talking about you, and only you, with my friends. I was crowned the official Pussy-Whipped King of Charleston before they left, and I may, or may not be absolutely proud of my new, well earned, title."

I laughed and burrowed my face into his shoulder blade wanting to feel his entire body against mine. It was ridiculous how happy he could make me with just a few drunken words.

So it made perfect sense that I would try to sabotage that.

"Edward… After Vic… I mean since her, has there ever been... anyone else?"

"What do you mean?" he asked from above me sounding genuinely confused as his chin pressed at the top of my head.

I took in a deep breath, "Have you dated anyone else?"

"Dated?" he laughed, "No. I vowed no more relationships after that disaster. Just random hook-ups. One-night stands. Where's all this coming from Bella?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, "Nowhere, just wondering. I just realized tonight that you know a lot more about my past than I know about yours." I replied, taking in a shallow breath. Edward loosened his grip around me and sat up. He instantly pulled me up beside him to look me dead in the eyes.

"You are _not_ some rebound, Bella. I don't know where you would even get such an idea in your head, but I know that's what you're thinking, and that's absolutely not the case."

I looked at him with uncertainty obviously on my face because he laughed and tilted my chin up toward him with an extension of his index finger, "Did Vic say something to you?"

"What? No! You'd know it if she had. I would have pulled her hair out of her head if she had." I insisted, slightly fibbing.

She hadn't actually said anything _to _me. Only _about _me to someone else while I'd been eavesdropping.

"Then what's all this about?" he asked with concern in his expression. I reached out and touched his face with my hand and leaned in to kiss his lips wishing I had never brought it up.

"Nothing. I'm just trying to find my way. This is all new. Deciphering my feelings and accepting them as they are without molding them to mean something else. It's all proven to be a lot harder than I'd anticipated. If Vic wasn't so freaking gorgeous and still obviously in love with you, then I might be dealing a little bit better." I finally admitted.

He laughed and shook his head, "I don't even see Vic like that. She's a friend. Nothing more. She might as well have a dick and set of balls."

"Well that's hilarious since she's a friend you almost had a baby with,"

He flinched at the sound of my words, and I immediately wished I could take them back.

"Everything happens for a reason, Bella. If that fucked up event hadn't happened who knows where I would be today. I could almost guarantee I wouldn't be here, with you, and that is just unimaginable to me now. I'm right where I belong. With the only girl I belong with. Understood?" he asked looking me straight in the eyes. I scanned back and forth between his stare and our hands that were clasped together between us, then slowly nodded my head and took in a deep breath.

"I still don't deserve you."

"But you do. Without a doubt in my mind, you do." he insisted then kissed me gently. I gently pressed my forehead against his once our kiss subsided. I looked into his emerald green eyes feeling my panties instantly moisten over the magnificent eye fuck he sent my way then grinned before biting at my bottom lip.

"Mind proving it to me?" I challenged looking to end this overly dramatic and meaningful conversation… with some mind blowing sex.

"With pleasure, Rock Star. With absolute, pleasure."

* * *

**~Edward~**

My eyes sprang open after hearing the beaded curtain to our room alert me that we had company. Bella pressed her naked body against me nuzzling her head into my chest but didn't open her eyes. Garrett was smirking ear to ear at the sight of her exposed leg hitched across my hip over our shared blanket. I glared at him and waved my hand to shoo him away, but he still continued towards us. Slowly, he took a seat on the edge of my bed a few feet away and smiled while running his hand through his hair manically.

"Dude, what?" I snickered quietly not wanting to wake my girl.

"It's almost eleven bro! We all want to get to the beach and you're holding us up. Plus her friends should be here any minute. I thought I'd be nice enough to let you know."

I rolled my eyes and took in a shallow breath. "Awesome, thanks." Bella stirred and stretched her naked leg and exposed arm out around me then opened her eyes and smiled looking up into mine. I quickly motioned with my head that we weren't alone. After slowly glancing over to find my friend grinning across from us she swiftly brought her leg under the covers.

"Jesus. Good morning, Garrett."

"Morning hot-stuff. Your friends are almost here. I just came up to let you guys know."

"Oh, shit! What time is it?!" she sat up quickly holding the blanket to her chest and turned to look at the clock. "Crap! I was supposed to go with James to meet them at the airport!"

"Yup, that's what they said. No worries. James went to pick them up when they called."

"Fuck! Why didn't anyone wake me? I should have gone with him!" She sounded totally flustered. I watched her stand up taking the top blanket with her to wrap it around her body and shuffle over to the dresser to frantically pull some clothes out.

Even with her hair a mess at the top of her head and no make-up on, she still took my breath away in the morning. I smiled at Garrett after he looked her up and down a few times and mouthed the words, 'she's a fucking ten bro!' while holding his two hands out with his ten digits flashing in extension.

She turned around just in time to catch him and smirked. "I'm a twenty, babe. At least that's what my boys from back home would tell you." she shared and threw me a wink.

"It's true. They would, and she absolutely is." I replied playfully then smacked Garrett in the face with a pillow.

We heard a chirp alert us that someone had come in from the front door downstairs. Bella immediately slid her black tank top over her body with her back to us and shimmied herself into the dark green hippie skirt she'd bought last week downtown. I smiled watching her tie her hair back behind her shoulders just before a pillow smacked me in my own face.

"Seriously, the way you watch her is damn creepy bro. Doesn't he creep you out?" Garrett asked Bella after she glanced in our direction from the reflection of the mirror on our shared dresser.

She smiled and shook her head, "Nope. I honestly love the way he watches me. Um. Do you think you could give us a minute Garrett?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll just let everyone know you're up and moving."

Bella and I both thanked him at the same time and I leaned over to grab my t-shirt from the top of the night stand then pulled it over my head while she made her way back to me.

"Before we go down there," she stopped to take in a deep breath and take my hands into hers, "I want you to know I realize how hard it's going to be for you. I only have to deal with one person from your past while you're going to have to deal with four of mine. Just remember, none of them have ever come close to eliciting the kind of feelings I have for you, but also remember that all of this is still absolutely new to me. I'm still learning how to… Be."

I smiled and nodded my head then pulled her down onto my lap, "I know, I don't expect you to be able to just turn it all off like a light switch. Old habits die hard. Maybe Vic will hook up with the lot of 'em and all our problems will go away," I teased and grabbed her face to firmly kiss her lips with mine.

She laughed and shrugged, "Stranger things have happened!"

"Bella Swan get your fine ass down here!" Someone suddenly yelled from downstairs. She turned and smiled then kissed me one more time before standing up after I'd released my grip on her.

When she extended her arm out to take my hand into hers I didn't hesitate.

"Let's do this."

"Shock and Awe, baby," I teased as we crossed through the beaded curtain. At the bottom of the steps there were four tan guys all with dark jet black hair and ridiculous muscles outlined from under their shirts. They seriously looked like they could have been brothers. Which only made their shared histories with Bella that much more twisted.

I nodded my head and forced a smile towards Jake and Paul who had already noticed mine and Bella's locked hands as we descended the stairs. With three steps left to go, Bella released her grasp on me to jump into the tallest guys arms. He spun her around and laughed, then gave her a firm kiss to her cheek which she quickly reciprocated several times.

"No ball and chain, Sam?" she asked after pulling herself back to look down at him from where he held her just above his eyes. The guy was a fucking giant.

He smirked and gently brushed her hair back from her face, "Nah. She stayed back, sends you her best."

Bella laughed and gave a sarcastic thumbs up, "Sure. I bet she did. Laced with arsenic." She replied then patted his chest with her hands. I watched him slowly set her feet back on the ground so she could greet the shorter guy standing beside him who instantly stole Bella from his arms.

"Bells, you're a damn sight for sore eyes. This has been the longest two months of our lives! Once we get you back, we're never letting you leave us again!" he shared, instantly making me narrow my eyes for a moment.

_Relax Cullen. She's yours now. No one else's. These are just loose strings that need trimming. _

"Hi Embry. It's good to see you too. It feels like it's been an eternity. God have I missed your smile!"

The guy held her in his arms for a few seconds longer then glanced in my direction obviously sizing me up before releasing her to run and jump into Paul's opened arms.

"You look good kid. I can see Edward has been doing his job, and taking care of you,"

"Shut up in your face, ass! I take care of myself! Edward has just gotten better at Bella-sitting from time to time," she teased then kissed his cheek firmly three times.

Jake was last, and standing off to the side slightly away from everyone else. I looked behind him and noticed the rest of our housemates, and my own friends, all camped out in the kitchen just a few feet away watching Bella's reunion with her boys.

Alice looked nervous.

My friends looked confused.

Rose looked positively delighted.

"Hey Jake. Come give me a hug," Bella ordered then leaned forward on her toes with her arms open towards him. He immediately followed her command and closed the gap between them to bring her into his arms holding her tightly to him. More tightly than anyone else had. That was painfully obvious.

Bella's news about our newly established relationship was going to crush the poor guy. For a moment I felt a bit of pity for him, but that moment didn't last long. He'd had his chance to win her heart. It wasn't my fault that he had failed.

"You really do look good, Bella. I'm proud of you." Jake shared then hugged her again with his eyes closed this time.

"It's amazing what running into a douche bag from your past and finally getting to unload on him can do for a girl." she teased then kissed Jake's cheek. She wiggled herself free from his arms, and walked back towards me immediately taking my hand once again into hers.

"So. Guys. I'd like to formerly introduce you to… my... Um… How do I say this… You see, well, I told you a lot had changed, and I… Well you know how I said I'd never… Well. Um."

"Jesus Christ Dreadilocks! Spit it the hell out!" Paul yelped with a laugh.

"This is Edward. He's my damn boyfriend, okay?!" she finally got out in a rushed breath while squeezing my hand tightly in hers. No one said anything. They all just stood there with dumbfounded expressions on their faces. I heard a few snickers from the kitchen area then heard James reprimand the guilty party and smiled internally to myself.

Paul was the first one to laugh, then the rest of them quickly joined in. "That's fucking hilarious! Now really, what's up?" he asked crossing his arms with a smirk.

"I'm, I'm serious!" she stuttered with a stomp of her foot. I gave her hand a squeeze and nodded my head agreeing with her. "He's officially the only cock I need to satisfy me." she joked trying to make her surprise announcement a little less serious.

"Wow. I mean holy hell, Bella. That's… that's some news." Sam finally let out then took a step forward to extend his hand out to me. Bella released her grasp around my fingers and I shook her giant friends hand then nodded my head.

"She put up a tough fight, but I eventually wore her down," I replied making him laugh nervously while he nodded his head apparently agreeing with me.

"Oh, I'm sure she did. That absolutely sounds like Bella."

"That's our girl, Ball-Buster-Bells! Well, I mean I guess she's not just _our _girl anymore, she's mostly your girl now, but yeah. We totally know what you're talking about. The only thing that's ever been easy about Bella, is well, I'm sure you already know!" Embry added slapping my shoulder with a short laugh. "Welcome to the family man. Paul and Jake already gave us the heads up that you were cool. I guess if you convinced her to hang up her scandalous ways then it must be true. I never thought we'd see the day! Bella in a committed relationship. Hell hath frozen over! Let the angels rejoice and sing from the heavens!"

"Oh shush. Stop acting like I use to be the town whore!" Bella teased then punched at Embry's arm playfully. He quickly caught her fist and brought her into him for another hug.

"It's good. I'm happy for you Bells. For real." he added softly, causing her cheeks to blush as she nuzzled her face into the space between his neck and shoulder.

"Well this certainly changes the weekend line up. All I'll say is, I'll believe it when I see it." Paul joked and shot me a grin then a jab to my shoulder. I shook my head knowing he was just being a douche then stole a glance at Jake who had actually taken a step back from the rest of us. He was now staring at his feet with a blank, broken expression on his face. "Alright so, now that that's all out of the way, let's get our asses to the beach!" Paul added breaking the awkward silence that had taken over the room.

"Yay! Barbeque time!" Alice squealed while everyone started making their way outside with the coolers and other gear. Bella gave me a smile then glanced in the direction of her best friend who had just had his world shattered over the news that I'd indeed done the impossible. The love of his life had officially found someone who had allowed her to finally break all her rules, and he was apparently having a hard time accepting that.

"I'll meet you guys outside," she whispered then stood on her toes to kiss my cheek. "I need to talk to Jake." I nodded my head understanding and squeezed her shoulder knowing she needed a minute alone with him in order to help him process what all of this meant. Bottom line, Jake was a good guy. I couldn't ignore that fact. He was hurting and she hated that.

Once outside my own friends swarmed me, "Dude, what the fuck was that about? Are those like ex-boyfriends?" Laurent asked as we loaded up their van with coolers of food and charcoal.

"No. It's complicated." I told them, "I'm the first _boyfriend _Bella's ever had. They're just all really close. They're all she had growing up." I tried to explain.

"Dude, those were _not_ brotherly hugs. Their eyes and hands frigin lingered!" Ben shared shaking his head with disapproval.

"Like I said, it's complicated." I mumbled noticing Vic's smirk right away. I instantly narrowed my eyes at her. She shrugged innocently and flipped her hair back behind her shoulder without saying a word. "We're good though. I absolutely trust her. She'd never do anything to hurt me." I added looking directly at my female best friend. She rolled her eyes and gave me a brash thumbs-up then got into the front seat of the van, shutting the door with obvious force.

_Fucking great, now I have to deal with her bullshit too?_

I watched Bella come out of the house with Jake a few minutes later and felt my anxiety go down a few levels. She looked over and gave me a wink, then grabbed Jake by the arm to walk him over to the rest of her friends standing at the house van with our housemates.

Bella's best friend still looked absolutely lost and a thousand miles away, but he hadn't run off, and there had been no shouting matches. That was a good sign.

It was going to be an interesting rest of the weekend.

I already couldn't wait for it to end.

* * *

Once arriving at the beach, James, Alice, Rose and Emmett quickly made their way over to the grills to stake claim and start setting up while everyone else headed over to the water. It was chilly. Definitely not swimming weather if you didn't have a wet suit. The girls were still determined to lay out and work on their tans, though, sixty degree weather or not. Bella's friends quickly started a game of Frisbee and she stayed over by them with Jane on her lap. My own clan huddled in a circle about a hundred feet away from them and gestured for me to come sit.

I instantly hated myself for it but my eyes impulsively scanned Vic's body as she pulled her red t-shirt up over her head and tossed it to the ground beside her feet.

Old habits die hard. Sue me. It was natural instinct for a man to appreciate the female body.

Thankfully, when I shook myself free and glanced over at Bella, she had missed my random wandering eyes. Vic unfortunately had not and was now grinning directly at me as she ran her hands across her stomach to the front of her hips.

"So, are we joining the damn polar bear club or what?" Garrett asked grabbing some sand with his hands and letting it slide between his fingers.

"Ha! Without your wetsuit? You don't have the balls!" Ben replied while he glanced over at Bella and her former boy toys.

"You can go play, Ben. They won't bite." Vic spoke up teasing our friend with a light shove. He rolled his eyes and told her he didn't need her permission then stood up to walk over and join their game. Bella casually looked over at me and smiled with a short wave of her fingers after lifting them from her guitars strings. I returned the gesture and added a wink of my eye that quickly brought on a shake of her head before she redirected her stare to the water in front of us. I watched her set Jane down beside her then reach for the bottom of her own shirt to remove it from her body exposing her tiny black bikini top and tattooed skin. She tied her hair up into a wild pony tail at the top of her head to pull it off of her back and shoulders then slowly leaned back into the sand instantly causing my dick to twitch over the site of her flawlessness.

"Jesus. You seriously weren't kidding. She's unbelievably gorgeous man. Normally I wouldn't look twice at a female with dreads but she fucking owns that shit!" Garrett muttered lowly earning himself a quick jab to his shoulder from my fist. "Ouch bro! I'm just saying! If you hadn't put her on lock down I'd be having a hard time not trying to tap that."

"Seriously?! Shut the fuck up!" I warned him. "We talked about this!" I wasn't really use to giving a shit. In the past Garrett would always rib me about the current 'tail' I'd be chasing, and almost always we would end up making a game out of it to see who they'd go home with. It helped keep my head focused and not let myself start to feel anything more than wanting a quick hook up or piece of ass.

Garrett laughed and shrugged innocently, "Okay, okay. I'll stop. It's just fun seeing you squirm. She's really got her hooks in you, bro. The king of pussy and one-night-stands has definitely been de-throned. I never thought I'd see the day, but I'll gladly step up to the plate to take your title, Cullen!"

I laughed and shook my head. Victoria cleared her throat and extended her bare legs out in front of her then bumped me with her shoulder. "So are any of the guys single in the house?"

I looked at her surprised because she usually wasn't one to look for a random fling.

"Um, not really. Emmett is property of Rose. Even though she won't say it out loud, and James is well,"

"Gay, yeah. That was obvious. What about Bella's friends?" she pressed looking over at the group of guys all laughing and taking turns trying to tackle each other before catching the Frisbee they were tossing around.

"They're all single except Sam. He's engaged I think." I replied while eyeing her suspiciously.

"Even the sexy, cute, shy one sitting with Bella?"

"Jake? Yeah. Definitely single."

_And still madly in love with my girl._

There was no way Vic hadn't picked up on that.

This was just fucking weird. If she was trying to make me jealous she was facing an impossible mission. I honestly couldn't have given two shits over who Vic spread her legs for, but something inside of me told me her prying wasn't meant to make me jealous. She was up to something. I could tell by the look in her eyes while she watched Bella and her best friend laugh quietly together about a hundred feet away from us.

"Hey Jake, Bella, why don't you guys play us a song?" Paul yelped as they all made their way over to them to sit in a big circle. Alice, James and Rose had left Emmett at the grill and had also joined their group so I suggested we all go be social together.

"Yeah. Let's." Vic replied then offered her hands up to me so I could help her onto her feet. I rolled my eyes and did the gentlemanly thing then gave her a light shove forward, wanting to establish some kind of a, 'I only see you as a bro', friendly reminder. She unfortunately took that as her chance to giggle all ridiculously loud which successfully caused Bella to look up over at us and narrow her brow in Vic's direction after she'd latched on to my arm for a few seconds.

As soon as we were close enough, though, Vic stumbled in the sand to abruptly land right into Jake's lap, "Well hi there. Thanks for catching my fall, _handsome_."

Jake smiled and nodded his head while looking down at my friend who was still lying in his arms partially dressed, "My pleasure."

Bella instantly looked like she was ready to pounce.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Seeing her get territorial all of the sudden like that, over someone that wasn't me. It definitely didn't sit well.

It was slowly becoming more, and more obvious that it had been a mistake to trust that Vic could handle this weekend without being a shady female. Apparently someone had left their med's at home. Unfortunately the only option I had now was to ride out the storm and pray for the best. It wasn't like I could tell Bella that Vic's flirtatious behavior towards her best friend was all a ploy. That Vic was only looking to get under her skin. Because then I would be admitting that she must still have some feelings for me, and that things weren't one hundred percent dead between us. Therefore, Bella had every right not to trust her around me, and it would instantly make the next few days that much more difficult.

This entire situation was fucked up, and by the look on Garrett's smug face, he was royally enjoying the show.

* * *

Somehow we had managed to make it through the afternoon without any hair pulling, or gouging of eyeballs. Which was shocking because there had definitely been opportunity. It was apparent now that Victoria had made it her mission to cozy up with Jake. A part of me wanted to believe that Bella's friend was well aware of my own friend's plotted act and that he was only choosing to go along with it anyways. Unfortunately I was pretty sure the poor guy had no idea.

I wasn't stupid though. I knew there was more to this than her just looking for a mindless random fuck.

What I didn't know was how Bella would react to Vic still making suggestive comments, and sending me eye fucks from across the room, while also hanging onto Jake and running her hand through his damn hair every chance she got.

Even though she hadn't said anything to me about it, I could already tell she was having a hard time dealing with it.

When we got to the bar Bella latched her arm around my hip and pressed herself into me. "So, are you ready?" I questioned with a smile that forced her to blush. I was desperate to get my mind off of all the damn drama I'd been forced to deal with today. For once I was the one craving to have a drink in my hand.

"To sing on stage? Never. At least not till I get a few shots in me." she replied with a shy grin, apparently reading my mind. I laughed and kissed the top of her head then followed the rest of our mismatched group inside. "I'll get us our drinks and meet you at the table. Save me a seat?" I knew she was really only wanting to go say hi to Aro without me, but shockingly it didn't bother me at all. I no longer felt threatened by him and it felt fucking liberating. Even when she'd gone off with him the other day to Demetri's for a few hours, I hadn't felt the need to tag along. Sure I'd missed having her by my side, but I still wanted her to feel like she could maintain some of her old life, just with new boundaries. Just because we were seeing only each other now, it didn't mean she couldn't have friends. Her friends were important to her. I wanted her to know I'd never be the type of guy who would question her every relationship outside of our own.

I wanted her to know, I trusted her.

"So, Edward, will you be skating in the Dew-Games this year?" Sam asked obviously trying to make conversation with me after I'd taken a seat at a table with Bella's friends and Garrett. Apparently my boy had taken it upon himself to buddy up with them in hopes of gaining some inside information about what Bella's life was really like back home.

According to him he was just doing it to 'look out' for me because he could see just how 'puss-i-fied' this girl had made me, and he didn't need me falling on my head again from the top of a skateboard ramp on national television.

"Yeah. I plan to. I've been training a little, thanks to Bella. I think I'm finally ready for my big comeback." I replied just as Camera Guy Number One did a sweep around us with his camera at his shoulder.

"What?! That's amazing news! I'm seriously so happy to hear that E!" Vic exclaimed appearing beside me out of nowhere. She pushed her self onto the bench, swiftly pressing her body against mine to make room for herself. I casually eyed her, wondering where Jake was, while the familiar scent of her floral perfume invaded my senses.

_Christ does that smell bring back some memories._

"Yeah. I'm pretty stoked." I quickly answered avoiding her stare then redirected my attention back to the guys while Embry told me he and Jake skated a little.

"Oh yeah? We should all go over to the skate park tomorrow." I suggested, smiling at Bella after she'd joined us at the table. She sat my beer down in front of me and forced a smirk and a nod of her head.

"Absolutely! Give those kids a show they won't forget!" Garrett announced with a laugh. I watched my girl throw back two shots then take a sip from her mixed drink and gave her an apprehensive look. She smiled and winked her eye, then gave an impulsive glance down at Vic who was sitting beside me where Bella obviously should have been.

"If I'd known you were skating again I would have brought Hazel out with us." Vic shared touching my knee for a moment from under the table.

Hazel was my last 'serious' skateboard.

I pulled my leg away and forced a smile. "Nah. That board is retired. I've moved on and fallen in love with a new set of wheels." I replied then took a sip from my beer. Bella had obviously noticed Vic's unwanted affection taking place under the table because she was now throwing daggers our way as she took several more swift sips from her glass.

"So Bella, we're just doing those couple of songs we talked about, right?" Sam asked apparently noticing the look of discomfort on my girl's face as she continued to stare down between Vic and I. She redirected her eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

"Whatever you guys want to do. I'm going to go have a smoke out back." she left the table before anyone could give her a hard time about her nicotine craving. I was left watching her quickly disappear out the back door alone. I knew I should go after her, but at the same time, I also knew she needed to work through this shit on her own. I'd already told her she had nothing to worry about when it came to Vic and I. There wasn't anything left for me to say. She needed to learn to trust me, just like I trusted her, otherwise our relationship would never make it past the weekend, let alone past the end of the show.

* * *

The night was in full swing. I heard Paul shout to Bella that they would take the stage in ten minutes and watched grinning to myself as she responded by throwing back a shot glass at her lips then gave her friend a quick thumbs up.

"So, she sings too?" Ben asked after joining me for a moment at the bar where I was waiting for another beer. Bella had only played guitar earlier this afternoon while Jake belted out some lyrics to several Secondhand Serenade songs so my friends had yet to experience the full, Bella Swan the Musician, package.

"Yup. She's pretty amazing actually." I mumbled watching my girl go back to talking with Demetri and Aro a few seats away from us, while her friends set up on stage. Whatever they were talking about it seemed to be making her a little uncomfortable. I could see it in her expression that she wasn't happy and that wasn't sitting well with me.

I was just about to head over to break up their conversation and wish her good luck with a kiss from my lips when someone tapped me on the shoulder, instantly forcing me to turn myself around in my seat. I wasn't surprised to find Vic, "E, can you come with me out to the van to get my jacket?"

Apparently Jake must have been too busy getting ready to play on stage, "Yeah sure." I gulped down the remainder of my current beer and set the bottle on the counter top then stood up stealing one last glance in Bella's direction. She had made her way to the corner of the room and was now seated with Jake while he tuned his guitar. I considered walking over to let her know where I was going but then thought better of it, knowing it would only cause her mind to go into over drive thinking about worst case scenarios. "Let's make it quick. They're going to go on soon." I warned then guided Vic towards the back door with my hand pressed at her back, hoping we would return before anyone could even notice our absence.

"So who is the bartender guy? And don't tell me it's _complicated_."

"Aro, he owns this place. Him and Bella hooked up for a little while. They're just friends now." I shared without giving it much thought thanks to the amount of beer I'd ingested.

"Jesus, is there anyone she _hasn't_ slept with? Jake might have accidentally filled me in that they all used to make their rounds with her."

"Shut up, Vic." I warned after moving my hand to hold the door open in front of us. "We just made things official two weeks ago. Before that we were _both _making our rounds trying to ignore the obvious attraction we had for each other." I explained.

The air was cool and breezy but there was absolutely no moon out tonight to give us the light we needed behind the building. I was also shocked to notice not a single camera had followed us out back.

"How can you not miss Cali? This place is so dank and dull. Those waves today were a joke. I can't imagine being stuck here for three months."

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, "It's grown on me. It's nice to have a change of scenery."

"So you don't miss _us_ at all?" Her question caused me to pause for a moment while she reached into the van to pull out the jacket we had come for. "I mean most of your new friends seem great… I just expected you to have called it quits by now. I really am excited about you skating again though, that's great, E." She reached out and touched my arm affectionately, then tilted her head causing her red hair to fall to the side of her face while looking up into my eyes.

I took in a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders. "Bella's made it easy."

"Oh I bet she's made it _very_ easy," She smiled and shot me an innocent wink that made me roll my own eyes, "What? I'm just making an observation. It's obvious the girl has a habit of spreading her… _self_ around. You found yourself a challenge and you made her your mission. I get it, and I've seen it before. She reminds me of Katelyn. That was a fun summer. You almost made yourself crazy trying to get that girl to submit to you. For a while we were really worried you wouldn't make it out alive."

I shook my head and narrowed my eyes at my supposed best friend's remark, "Bella is _nothing_ like Katelyn."

"You say that, but both Laurent, and I agree. The similarities are definitely there."

Without saying another word I turned to make my way back inside the bar. I wouldn't stick around and entertain her ridiculous comparisons that a summer fling I'd had when I was nineteen was anything like what Bella and I had. She unfortunately followed right behind me and quickly grabbed onto my arm to stop me from walking away, "I'm sorry. I'm sure somewhere in there, she's a nice girl. It's just hard. Seeing you. With her."

"Why did you come out here? I thought we were past this, Vic? That you and I had found a good place again. Why can't you just be happy for me? Jesus. What is with you? Did you leave your meds back home?" I asked staring into her broken expression. Her eyes looked deep into mine and I saw the dramatic tears begin to swell up. "I've had too much to drink to deal with this, Victoria. Maybe you should call it a night and head back to the hotel before you say, or do something stupid," I suggested without showing her much emotion.

"Please, Edward. Wait. I came here because I needed to see you. I missed you. I miss staying up all night watching cheesy horror movies, and getting up early to catch the best waves. I miss having someone to talk with at all hours of the night. To laugh with and make fun of Ben with. I still miss everything we had, and I desperately need to have _some_ of that back. Even if," she stopped short and took a step closer to me then reached out to touch the side of my face with her hand, "Even if that means I'll really never be able to kiss your lips again, or make love to you on the beach under the stars. I need you to tell me that a part of you still wants me to be in your life, no matter who else you might bring into it. That there's a part of you that still needs me, just as much as I need you."

I looked down at her and impulsively smiled over the memory of fucking her silly on my surf board under a full moon on the beach then let out a loud sigh. "Of course I still want you in my life. We had a fucked up chapter, but that's all it was. I decided months ago that I wouldn't let our ugly past decide our future. Everyone deserves a second chance. You're still one of my best friends, Vic. Even if you are a little fucked up in the head. I just wish you would cut all this shit out once and for all." She instantly launched herself into my arms hugging me tightly and cried softly into my shoulder.

"I knew you still cared." she whispered beside my ear while I cautiously hugged her back.

"Stop being so dramatic. I told you I did. Why else would I insist you come out here with the guys? You just really need to take it down a notch. Please? For me?"

She pulled herself away from me, but kept her arms draped over my shoulders while her eyes looked up into mine smiling. I let out a long winded sigh and placed my left hand at her hip while my right index finger brushed a tear from her cheek with our faces a few inches apart. Just then, the back door of the bar swung open casting light across the parking lot and spot lighting us in what could have seemed like a slightly romantic embrace. I released her the moment I saw Demetri standing there with a surprised smug look on his face.

"Nice night." he casually replied eyeing us with a grin while he shuffled his keys back and forth in his hands.

_Fuck. _

"Hey. We were just talking." I insisted, sounding absolutely guilty for no reason at all.

"It's cool. Not my business. Your _girlfriend_ is looking for you though. I just came out to get her a guitar tuner from my car. Sorry for interrupting your, um, _talk."_

I let out an annoyed grunt and quickly began reviewing my options.

_Way to go Cullen. Great idea coming out here alone, and allowing the opportunity for scandal to even present itself. _

I didn't bother saying anything else. It was pointless. If he wanted to say something to Bella, he would. It was up to me to decide if I would beat him to the punch, or just treat it as the innocent moment it was, and not bring it up at all.

"Should we worry?" Vic asked just above a whisper as we crossed through the doorway back into the bar.

"About what?" I was going to play dumb.

"Will he say anything to Bella?"

I looked down at her and let out an annoyed huff, "There's nothing to say. I'm allowed to hug my friends, just like she's allowed to hug hers. It's not like he caught us making out or anything. Jesus."

She smirked and raised her brow at me, "Well… a few more seconds and there's no telling what he would have seen."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head disagreeing with her, "It must be nice living in that fantasy world of yours. Seriously, Vic. Dial it down." I warned with an impulsive smirk. I quickly left her side to make my way up to the stage through the crowd of people that had already gathered to watch Bella and her friends.

"What was that all about?" Garrett asked with a smug look after I'd taken my place beside him. Ben handed me a fresh beer and I shrugged them off then scanned the room looking for Bella. She was already watching me with a very disapproving look on her face from where she stood between Jake and Paul on the stage. "Vic had some stuff she needed to get off her chest." I muttered crossing my arms in front of me.

"Ha! I bet she did," my friend replied with an obnoxious laugh.

I hushed him and focused on my girl shifting back and forth on her feet nervously in front of the room, then felt like a shitty ass boyfriend for not having been around to give her a good luck kiss. "I heard you were harassing Edward." Garrett teased our female friend once she'd stepped up to join us with a fresh drink in her own hand. Thankfully the sound of Aro's voice over the P.A. ended the awkward conversation.

"Alright everyone quiet down. We have our local celebrity back tonight with a few of her hometown boys. Let's show them how much we've come to love this girl, and her talented voice." Aro's own voice rang over the speakers as he talked into the mic, with his free arm hanging over Bella's shoulders. She offered a shy wave from behind the keyboard then turned to nervously look at Jake. He gave her a wink and mouthed something I couldn't make out. I watched her take in a deep breath then point to Embry on the drums, signaling for him to begin. Once the song started I found myself holding my breath as her mouth opened to nervously beginning singing along with the music they played.

_"Moving in slow- like the smoke- from your cigarette._  
_Every step closer's- a step- that we both- will regret._  
_Keeping a tally-but who could keep track?_  
_Your overreacting is taking me back_  
_To a time- better left- alone._

_Holding onto the phone, holding onto this glass._  
_Holding onto the memory of what didn't last._  
_Waiting for better words, they'll never come._  
_So dry your eyes, it's better, now it's done."_

I watched her slowly sway back and forth with the rhythm of the music they created on stage while her eyes remained focused on nothing but her finger tips running across the keyboard in front of her. She was lost in the song, and had turned everything else off around her. That was evident. I took in a forced deep breath as the words she sang began to sink in. I couldn't help but wonder who or what she was thinking about while she stood up there. It was obviously a song that meant something to her. You could feel that just by watching her.

_"Keep a tight grip like a child- holding onto a swing set._  
_Waiting and hoping to find-what I can't- figure out yet._  
_Please don't unless this is something you need._  
_Another nightmare- instead- of a dream._  
_Better left-alone._

_Holding onto the phone, holding onto this glass_  
_holding onto the memory of what didn't last_  
_waiting for better words, they'll never come_  
_so dry your eyes..._

_holding onto the phone, holding onto this glass_  
_holding onto the memory of what didn't last_  
_waiting for better words, they'll never come_  
_so dry your eyes, it's better, now it's done_

_I ne-ver lost-so much_  
_I ne-ver lost-so much_  
_I ne-ver lost-so much_

_holding onto the phone, holding onto this glass_  
_holding onto the memory of what didn't last_  
_waiting for better words, they'll never come_  
_so dry your eyes..._

_holding onto the phone, holding onto this glass_  
_holding onto the memory of what didn't last_  
_waiting for better words, they'll never come_  
_so dry your eyes, it's better, now it's done."_

The song came to an end and I stared up in complete awe of the girl who had just poured her soul out on stage in front of about a hundred people. With every verse, Bella had seemed to grow more and more comfortable behind the mic that was stationed in front of her. The few times our eyes met she would grin a little more widely, then look away seemingly embarrassed. I'd naturally felt my heart grow with pride and admiration but I couldn't help but also worry.

There was something in her stare. Something was off. Her thoughts were obviously racing.

When they finished their set there was a roar of applause that made Bella's demeanor change almost instantly. I watched her shake her head ridding it of whatever it was that she had been thinking about then laugh bashfully. She covered her mouth in embarrassment and gave a small bow before turning to step off the stage. Sam was quick to take her by the arm and guide her to the corner of the bar instantly wrapping her in a hug. Our eyes met for a moment and she smiled but it was short lived and almost painfully forced. I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms again. I couldn't wait to get back to our bubble. Our normalcy of just needing only each other without worrying about splitting time between our visiting friends, or any other outside forces threatening to take us down.

"Wow, she's pretty spectacular. I'm starting to really understand the obsession." Laurent muttered beside me after the five of us re-huddled together once the crowd started to break apart.

"Yeah, _great_. Super-duper. Next reality show stop, _American Idol_." Vic snickered crossing her arms in front of her while avoiding my glare.

"Oh, chill, Vic-Ten. Put your claws away. Remember, you promised to play nice." Garrett scolded then pinched her cheek playfully, "The girl obviously has talent. She had everyone in here stop what they were doing to set their eyes, and ears on her."

"How lucky for Edward. A room full of men are now infatuated with his, _girlfriend._" she replied with a devious smirk then abruptly left our group to disappear towards the restrooms.

"It seems Victoria's thick skin is beginning to wear thin." Laurent shared with a laugh that swiftly brought my closed fist to his shoulder. I was beyond annoyed with her behavior. The fact that she'd been drinking wasn't helping the situation. "Can you please try to reign her in. I'm going to go talk to Bella and see what the plan is for the rest of the night." I told them with a huff before stepping out of our circle to gain the one thing I'd been craving for the last hour and a half.

Now, more than ever, I needed Bella in my arms.

She smiled seeing me walk towards her then finished her conversation with her buddies so she could meet me half way. She looked nervous which immediately made me nervous. "Hey, you."

"Hey," she replied with a crooked grin then stood on her toes to kiss me. "What did you think?"

"I think you're amazing, but that's nothing new, baby." I assured her forcing a truer smile across her blushing face. "Everything okay?" I had to ask because that's what a good boyfriend would do.

She nodded her head with a slight shrug of her shoulders then scanned the room behind me, "The guys want to go back to the house and hang out. What does your little posse want to do?"

She hadn't really answered my question, but I knew better than to push. She'd tell me what was wrong when she was ready. She always did. I just still needed to be patient sometimes which was entirely do-able.

"They're game for whatever. I'm not sure about the rest of our housemates though. I'll go check while you guys get your stuff in the van." She nodded her head and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek then turned to leave me without saying anything else.

I watched her run back to jump onto Paul's back where he swiftly turned his head to kiss her cheek and place his hands over hers from where she'd folded them in front of his chest. She looked so happy, and at ease.

_Jesus, Monday can't come soon enough._

After checking in with all our housemates, James agreed to drive the rest of us back home then come back to pick everyone else up later. Rose wanted to walk down to the beach bar with Emmett. Alice and Jasper mentioned a walk on the beach, and Tanya was busy sucking face with Demetri.

"Is Bella okay? She seemed so sad for a little while on the stage tonight." our pixie roommate whispered lowly while she walked with me out to the parking lot with my own group of friends following behind us. She wanted to give Bella one more hug before we headed home.

"Yeah. She's ok, Alice. I think today's been a lot harder than she thought it would be. Having to turn a part of herself off… she's just not use to… this… us… being an _us_." I answered honestly.

"Yeah. Well, just remember that. I mean if things should start to get… blurred. She's still learning."

I looked at our housemate and took in a deep breath, wishing I was still feeling the nice beer buzz I had started to experience at the bar before Bella had taken the stage. Alice was right. Things were going to get a lot harder before they could get easier.

Hopefully we would find our way, without earning too many battle scars. I already knew the rest of the weekend would be the true test of that.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so no major cliffy. I spared you. You're welcome. I only did it because the next update is heavy in the angst department. *wink***

**Vic is one hell of a *insert c-word here*. Poor Jake, or perhaps he's well aware of her plotted actions and is only looking to take advantage too? Will Demetri tell Bella what he saw out in the parking lot? Will Vic take advantage of Edward as the night goes on, and more alcohol is shared? Will Bella finally lose her shit on the she devil?**

**The next chapter is written, and being sent to my beta tonight. I'll update ASAP!**

**Again, you can find a link on my profile (under all the IRL stuff) to a youtube video of the song Bella sang in this chapter. It is by Straylight Run, titled, "Holding On".**

**Big thanks to my beta Riss! Love you honey!**

****Please Review… as thanks you will receive an outtake from Bella POV while they're at the bar in this chapter. Which will shed some light on her emo mood.****


	22. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: I hate updating on Fridays, or over the weekend, so I decided to go ahead and post this chapter a few days early. It's heavy. Grab a tissue. Angst is promised, and it will stick around for a little while. Push through it, and take a deep breath. I promise there will be some sunshine, and at least a few rainbows before I type the words, 'The End.' It's just going to be a bit of a journey before we get there.**

* * *

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

**Chapter 22**

**~Bella~**

When we got back to the house I instantly ran upstairs to change out of my clothes without saying a word to anyone. I was in desperate need of a few minutes alone with myself. It was an absolute miracle that no camera's followed me. Jasper had the night off, which had left the two nameless guys on duty. One stayed back with our housemates downtown, and the other must have decided it was better to capture the going-on's downstairs.

Whatever the reason, I was beyond thankful to have a few minutes alone with nothing but the pestering voice in the back of my head.

Today had been ridiculous. It was insane to me that I'd gone from feeling as if I were on top of the world and could face anything with my head held high, to suddenly feeling as if the walls were closing in on me, and I could once again barely breathe.

I couldn't really pin point what it was that had triggered all these emotions to bombard me at once. All I knew was I wanted them to go away.

Far, far, far away.

Vic had successfully dug herself deep under my skin, just like the parasite she so obviously was, and I'd seriously had just about enough of her shit. When she fell on top of Jake at the beach earlier in the day, it took everything in me to not remove her body by way of yanking her red devil hair at the top of her she devil head. Then, when she continued to give my best friend attention; giggling at his jokes, touching his arm when they would talk, running her hand through his hair playfully while we were at the bar… I couldn't help it… I wanted to ram her face into the nearest solid object, over and over again till she begged for mercy and promised to immediately leave town.

It wasn't because I was jealous. That had absolutely nothing to do with it. Every fiber inside of me wanted Jake to find someone who could make him happy. He, more than anyone else I knew, deserved that. I just knew Vic wasn't that someone, and I also knew she was only doing this to shove me closer to the ledge. All I could do, though, was bottle it up. If I said something, it would seem like I was just being paranoid, territorial, and jealous. The last thing I needed was Jake thinking there was a chance I might possibly have romantic feelings for him.

And that's absolutely what Jake would think.

Edward unfortunately wasn't helping. I wasn't entirely sure what I expected from him, but I certainly hadn't expected him to go off alone with _her _right before my friends and I had taken the stage_. Especially _when he knew I was already having a hard time coping with the situation_. _

He had told me I had nothing to worry about.

Insisted over, and over again.

I wanted to believe him… and a part of me _did_ believe him. Especially after the things he'd done, and the words we had shared last night in our bedroom. That, however, didn't mean I thought Vic wouldn't try her best to push herself between us at every chance she got. I already knew that's what she was here to do. But again, if I said something it would just seem like I was being paranoid, territorial, and jealous.

I didn't want to be _that_ girl.

I'd made it my entire life without being _that _girl.

Even if I had thrown all my rules out the window, and even if I did have the right to throw a high maintenance girlfriend meltdown. I couldn't, and I wouldn't let her win so easily. I had to be stronger than that.

There was a quiet tap outside the bedroom doorway notifying me that my few minutes alone were now up. I turned around and forced a smile after seeing an extended arm come through the beaded curtain holding a caramel colored drink in its hand.

"I guess the magical booze fairy has arrived?" I teased then took a seat on the edge of my bed after seeing Paul come in with a guarded smile.

"You doing okay?"

_Still no camera? Your luck seems to be improving this evening, Swan. _

_Bask in it because it sure as hell won't last._

I nodded, ignoring the return of the pestering voice in the back of my head, then took the drink from his hand and leaned my head onto his shoulder after he took a seat beside me. "I didn't expect all of _this_ to be so exhausting." I confessed after taking a sip from my drink. I closed my eyes feeling the familiar taste run down my throat and into my belly then took another longer gulp before letting out a very loud, overly dramatic sigh.

"I'm impressed you haven't brought the boxing gloves out yet. That Vic girl is a conniving little twat-waffle isn't she?"

I looked over at him and grinned, loving that he'd already picked up on what was bothering me without me ever having to say a word about Edward's female friend.

"I guess she's not doing a very good job at hiding her true colors anymore is she?"

"Oh they're definitely shinning through. The only person who doesn't seem to mind is Jake. She's working him over pretty damn good. He needs it though. A distraction I mean. You more than anyone should be able to understand that."

I nodded my head and took another long sip from my drink. "So then he really is into her?"

"He's enjoying the attention, but Bella, he's a big boy, you don't need to worry about him," my friend replied lowly then wrapped his arm around me to pull my body further against him. I forced a smile and looked down at my bare feet unsure of what to say next.

"If she hurts him I swear to God, I'll make her regret our paths ever crossed."

"We're only here for another few days. I seriously doubt that's enough time for Jake to have his heart crushed any more than it already has been since arriving here."

_Did he just? He did not just… Seriously?! _

I instantly narrowed my eyes to glare at him, "That's not fair Paul."

He smirked innocently and shrugged his shoulders, "I'm just trying to point out that if Jake was able to carry on without curling up into a fetal position in a corner somewhere after your little monumental announcement this afternoon, then he can handle a piece of ass like Vic." It didn't take me long to realize what he was saying was actually true. Jake was most likely looking for nothing but a quick fuck to help him forget the heartache I had forced upon him earlier today. So in reality, he was looking to use Vic, just as much as she was looking to use him, and justifiably so.

"Okay, jerk. You're right. Thank you. I needed to have that dose of reality forced down my throat." I replied then downed the rest of my rum and coke and leaned over to hug my friend, "I'm glad you guys are here. I'm even more glad that you've all accepted Edward. That really means a lot to me."

"Yeah well. What choice do we have? All or nothing, right?" Paul teased earning him a playful jab from my fist. "Okay, enough heart to heart bullshit. Let's go downstairs and get you a refill to help quiet all your inner demons. If at any point tonight you start feeling like you're about to lose your shit on Lil' Ms. Red just place your lil finger-stach tattoo under your nose and that will be our signal."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Signal for what?"

"For me to ride in and save your ass, Swan. We can't have you getting arrested for assault and battery right now. Your grand-pappy's people would have a field day with that shit." he reminded me after draping his arm over my shoulder to begin walking us towards the stairs.

I was already grinning. "Huh… I hadn't even thought of that. Speaking of scandalous opportunities though, I haven't told you about my little photo shoot with Demetri."

"What photo shoot? What did you do Dreadilocks?" Paul questioned with a smirk while eyeing me up and down.

"Let's just say you'll get to see a lot more of me, at least one more time, very soon. But you'll have to pay $19.99 for a year's online membership to Demetri's Deviant Dolls dot-com."

"Noi'ce! That news just made my weekend. I have to admit I've been feeling a little depressed over the thought I'd never get to see your perfect bare ass again." he replied then instantly jumped ahead of me, already knowing my first reaction would be to punch him in the balls. He laughed and skipped over several steps at the bottom of the staircase to escape my attack, then shot me a devious wink before running further into the kitchen to join Sam and Embry at the bar top. I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself while shaking my head. It felt good to forget about all the other bullshit for a few minutes. Really good.

Once downstairs I spotted Edward outback with his friends, and Jake, apparently having an old fashioned beer chugging contest while Vic cheered them on with the camera guy close by. Just the sight of her had me clenching my teeth and digging my finger nails into my palms. I took in a slow deep breath to try and calm myself down then walked to the booze shelf with a newfound mission on my mind.

_Screw this pacing shit, and drinking like a lady. It's time for Hells Bells to come out and play._

After making my way to the kitchen I reached up into the cabinet to pull six different size cups down and quickly began grabbing unopened bottles of rum, vodka, tequila, and whisky. I placed everything on the counter top in front of the guys and began looking for the dice we kept in the silverware drawer then turned to face my friends who were already grinning. "Who is up for a game?" I softly asked, then shot Jake a smile after he'd suddenly appeared in our tight huddle.

Paul was already swaying back and forth over my challenge. "What are we playing?"

"Six-Cups. Obviously."

"Oh hell yeah! Let's do this!" Embry shouted out in response sounding a bit too excited and making me laugh. "Should we see if anyone else wants to play?"

I glanced out back and felt my heart drop into my stomach at the sight of Vic tugging at Edwards arm while they laughed at some secret hilarity together. I really didn't need her in my face at the moment. What I needed was to numb my apparent obsession to over analyze everything my eyes came into focus with.

"Nah, they've been drinking beer all night. This game is for serious drinkers only." I mocked then threw the die down onto the table to take the first turn. "First person to pass out buys every ones' drinks tomorrow night, and the last person standing gets a new tattoo paid for by all of you losers, split evenly."

"Hah! All _us _losers? I guess that means you're planning on being _vic-_torious, huh Dreadilocks?" Paul teased earning him a shot from my middle finger, right at the tip of his nose.

"I _guess_ I need to remind you, I _always_ win." I replied with my brow raised in challenge.

"Shit, she does. We're all screwed." Jake laughed then gave me a careless wink that made me smile. Things were feeling normal again. This was exactly what I needed. A good drinking game to deaden my careless thoughts and my boys to help make everything else go away.

_Minus the usual end of the evening where you fuck one… or two, of them senseless._

_Well, obviously. Jesus. Leave me alone._

"Alright, counter clock wise. Jake you're next." I ordered then placed the single die in his hand and closed his fist with my own hand wrapping around his. His eyes locked onto mine and I smiled for a moment forgetting all the drama we'd endured throughout the day. Things were simple once we removed everything that surrounded us… and added a bottle of booze. That's how it had always been, that's how it would always be, and that's why this particular game was so absolutely needed tonight.

* * *

We were three rounds in when Edward and his friends all made their way back inside. Sam had already passed out on the couch, and Embry's eyes were starting to stare off into a distance. Jake and Paul were going pretty strong, but I wasn't worried. The only problem I'd begun to experience was the craving to go molest Edwards face as soon as we'd locked eyes. He leaned down and kissed my neck with purpose just as Paul flicked the die back my way once he'd refilled cup number six. The biggest cup on the table.

I'd yet to roll a six so I was still managing just fine.

"What are you guys playing?" Garrett asked pulling up a seat at the table.

"Six Cups. You drop the die and whichever number you roll that's the cup you have to drink from. Bigger the number, bigger the cup, thus better your chances you'll end up over there like Lightweight-Sam. After you drink everything in the cup you get to choose what you refill it with. Cup number one always stays empty." Paul explained with a smirk then shot me a wink, "Bella here is the queen of Six Cups, but she's already starting to rock a little in her seat, so I'm feeling pretty good about my chances."

"Shut the hell up. I've got this." I shot back, then dropped the die in front of me. Thankfully it landed on the number two. The smallest shot glass on the table.

"Shit, remember that time she ended up on top of the water tower topless singing the National Anthem? Classic Drunkella!" Embry hooted earning him a swift kick from my foot under the table.

"And I still won that night." I reminded them with a smirk, causing them all to laughed.

"Oh I think I'm going to like this game a lot." Garrett teased back which instantly got him a slap upside the head from a slightly nervous looking Edward.

"I'm okay. Really. I can drink them under the," I stopped short because out of the corner of my eye I'd noticed a red headed-fast food clown resembling-skank monkey sliding herself into Jake's lap. I felt a jab just above my ankle and realized Paul had sent me a reminder via his foot to my shin, "I can drink them under the table." I finally finished then tilted the shot glass back at my lips and pushed the die over to Jake. "Your turn, Black." I muttered breaking him from the eye fuck he and Victoria had been sharing a few feet away from me.

Thankfully, after pulling up a chair to take a seat behind me, Edward began messaging my shoulders creating the perfect opportunity to erase Vic and Jake's attention seeking image from my memory. I found myself closing my eyes over his touch almost instantly. Without thinking twice I stood up and motioned for him to come sit in my own chair so I could position myself in his lap, right where I belonged and right where I knew he wanted to be.

If Vic wanted to play. I would play. And when I played, I played hard.

Edward quickly followed my cue then opened his arms for me to take my seat over him. I brought his hands down to my thighs and placed my own hands over his to slowly guide them up and down my legs while I leaned my back into him with obvious need to feel myself against his body. Victoria glanced over and sneered on impulse. I smiled looking directly into her eyes, then turned my head to bring my mouth to Edward who happened to already be waiting with a very hungry look on his face. He instantly moaned loudly against my parted lips. I felt a smile easily take over my own expression in response to his needful craving to have more of me. Regardless of who else was around to witness, in that moment, it was only him and I that mattered.

"Jesus Christ, we're trying to play a game here, can you save the mouth fucking for later?" Embry mocked after a few seconds of Edward and I successfully forgetting just where we were, and who we were sitting with.

The alcohol was definitely working its magic now.

"Fuck, I can't wait to have you tonight." Edward whispered into my ear after loosening his grasp around me. I giggled like a pathetic school girl and turned to redirect my attention back towards my friends who were sitting around the table. I was surprised to find everyone staring straight at us with bewildered expressions on their faces.

"Holy shit. Did she… did you just. I'm sorry. I must be more drunk than I thought. For a second there I could have sworn I just heard you giggle like a damn thirteen year old girl drooling over a One Direction poster." Paul teased before taking his turn. I rolled my eyes and pushed the number six cup back his way.

"Bottoms up, Darling." I challenged with a wink. He grimaced and shot the cup back at his lips to take four solid gulps then slammed it back down onto the table top to refill it.

"Careful. Six Cup karma is a bitch, Bells." he warned and slid me the die with an added wink of his eye. I smirked back and stiffened my position over Edward after feeling his hands begin to press tiny circles, massaging my lower back from where he sat behind me. He'd carefully slid his fingertips up under my thin black tank top. I could already feel my nipples betraying me just as Paul gave a salute, apparently having also noticed.

I kicked him from under the table and wrapped one arm across my chest to hide my traitor nips while my other hand dropped the die in front of me.

Six little dots stared back at me.

_It seems your luck has finally run dry, Swan._

"Looks like Paul was right about that karma, Bella." Vic spoke up, her voice reminding me of about twenty cats being dunked over and over again into a freezing pool of water.

I smiled sweetly and easily gulped down the warm liquid then refilled the cup with some rum before turning my attention back to Victoria who was now tugging on Jakes hair while he reached out to take the die from my hand. "Luckily for me, _Vic_, I grew up learning how to kick karma in the ass." I informed her before leaning back into Edwards arms. His fingertips slowly dipped past the elastic band of the tiny boxer shorts I was wearing to easily press me further against him. He obviously wanted me to feel just how excited he was over having me back in his arms in his drunken state, and I seriously wanted to attack his face for it by forcing him into the nearest room with a shut-able door.

It was now fact that I needed him to remind me why I'd agreed to allow all of these unpredictable feelings and emotions into my once easy, uncomplicated, and emotionless life.

_Well, uncomplicated to you anyways. _

I smiled watching Edward toss back his own shot of rum after Garrett slid it across the table towards him and smirked at the face he made once he gulped it down. He wasn't a big hard liquor drinker, and he was definitely already _way_ past tipsy. I could tell by his touch that he was ready to tear my clothes from my body. Because of that I was more than ready for him to do very good things to me, in a very bad girl kind of way. Things that would most definitely leave me sore in all the right places come tomorrow morning.

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker, M&M." I couldn't help but tease.

"Pshhhh. You worry about you, Rock Star."

"But, I have you for that now," I reminded him then leaned back to playfully kiss his nose. Slowly, I reached behind my back to travel my hand down his chest, continuing lower past his hips to tease him just a little bit more. I turned to look him dead in the eyes and bit at my bottom lip as the thoughts of soon having him on me, and inside of me quickly took over. Without even thinking, I mouthed the words, 'I-want-you-_now_.'

He let out a low grunt and instantly stood up cradling me in his arms. "Sorry. She forfeits. We'll see you tomorrow, and we should probably just apologize now for everything you're about to hear, if you should decide to stick around." Edward announced, and before I could say a word he threw me over his shoulder, slapped my ass, and began carrying me towards the stairs.

"Tattoos all around, my treat tomorrow. He's right, though, you should probably head out. Night guys! Drive safe, better yet, call a taxi!" I hollered back to them feeling my cheeks instantly flush over my boyfriend's caveman like maneuver. I didn't even care that we had a camera guy following close behind us. All that matter now was having Edward on top of me minus our clothes. I knew once things hit straight up porn level the camera would have to get lost.

We were more than half way up the stairs when Tanya suddenly came rushing through the front door with a panicked looking Demetri at her stiletto heels.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks and slowly set me back on the ground just as Tanya began sarcastically laughing almost hysterically with her finger pointed in our direction. Demetri looked like he'd just been beaten upside the head, "Bella, I'm _so _sorry. She fucking went through my phone and,"

"_You_, Bella Swan! You _really_ weren't lying when you said you were a _whore_!" our female roommate shouted while Demetri held her back at the bottom of the steps. At the sound of her accusation, Edward released me and took an impulsive step backwards. He was clearly trying to assess the situation in his drunken state in order to figure out who, and what the hell had just stormed through our doorway. "Poor innocent, _whoa-is-me_, Bella. Why don't you tell Edward all about your day with Aro _and_ MY Demetri! Or better yet, why don't I just show him the video!?"

"What… What the hell is she talking about Demetri?" I stuttered feeling extremely light headed all of the sudden once I'd focused my stare down towards Tanya's fuck buddy.

After looking into his eyes I instantly knew I didn't want to hear his answer.

"What's she talking about, Bella? What day?" Edward cautiously asked after stepping down beside me. Everyone else had already gathered below the staircase by now. Even Sam had woken up from his drunken slumber and was rubbing his eyes.

"Here Edward. See for yourself! Take a look at just how fucked up your so called girlfriend, the love of your life, really is. She cared about you _OH_ so much that she went out and fucked around with not just Aro, but with my boyfriend too!" Tanya yelled, then instantly tossed him a phone. He caught it in both hands and looked down at the screen. I watched as he narrowed his eyes and took in a deep breath, all while avoiding my own stare. I could see there was a video ready to be played. After looking closer I realized it was me on the paused screen, smiling, with my eyes sealed shut, and Aro's mouth between my exposed breasts.

"No." I whispered, unable to believe what I was seeing.

This wasn't happening.

Edward looked down at me, obviously wanting to demand answers, but he was unable to speak. All I could do was shake my head while automatically holding my hands out to take the phone from him. "Please. Edward. Don't." I finally pleaded with panic in my voice.

"No, you should _totally_ press play, Edward. Really. Observe just how _used_ your piece of trash girlfriend actually is!"

"Shut up Tanya. It wasn't like that." Demetri warned then offered me another apologetic look.

"What did you do?" I instantly growled back at him then covered my face to hide the traitor tears of frustration and betrayal that had begun to stream down my cheeks. I looked at the phone still in Edward's hand and felt my heart start to beat out of my chest as I slowly realized what it was that he was about to see with his own two eyes.

Everyone was capable of letting you down… Of doing the unthinkable. Just when you thought you knew them best, they would ultimately knock you on your ass, and leave you gutted.

It had happened to me, and because of that I was most definitely no different. Edward was about to learn that first hand.

I looked at the screen then back up at him where he still stood, slowly shaking his head in blatant disbelief. "Please," I whispered holding my hands to my chest while I looked back and forth between his stare and the piece of technology he held before him, "I stopped it. I swear to you, I stopped it. Before things got too far, I made them stop. You don't need to see it, Edward. All you need to know is because of you, I stopped it." I insisted, impulsively shifting my weight to brace myself against my knees after my body had lurched forward with a silent sob escaping my lips. His heartbroken expression was tearing me apart from the inside out.

Edward shook his head and took in another deep breath, "I'm sorry," he whispered avoiding my eyes, "I need to see. I need to know," he softly added then cautiously tapped the play button.

Not even three seconds in, and I saw his fist clench at his side almost automatically. I couldn't bring myself to look down at the screen. The audio was enough to further rip my heart from my chest.

"Still up for some _fun, _Bella?" Demetri seductively questioned from the speaker of the phone with Portishead playing in the background. It felt like his words echoed off the walls of the house in surround sound.

In that instant I felt so much anger rise up from within me. I turned to face Demetri and took in a deep breath after taking a single step down towards him, "Why?" I asked just above a whisper ignoring everyone else in the room now, "Why would you record us?! What was the purpose? To put it up on your damn website?!" I could barely stand to look at him.

"Oh _hell_ no!" I heard Paul mutter from below us. "I'll fucking kill this guy!" Thankfully, Embry and Jake stepped up to hold our friend back in order to keep him from following through with his threat.

Tears were threatening to take me over, but I refused to let them pass. I knew deep down none of this should matter, that it had happened before I'd opened my heart to Edward, but I hadn't been absolutely truthful. I'd kept him in the dark about just how far I had fallen before I'd found the strength to pick myself back up again.

It was evident now. I would finally pay the ultimate price for my biggest weakness; My inability to keep my legs closed whenever things started to stray off course.

"Huh, looks like Edward was wrong about this guy _wanting,_ but never _having. _How shocking_._" Vic snickered from down below us where she was standing between Garret and Ben, grinning like the Cheshire Cat on goddamn crack.

"YOU! Shut the hell up. I've had enough of your shit today!" Edward warned pointing his finger at his red headed best friend. If I hadn't seen the look he'd thrown my way before he'd spoken out I would have smiled. I knew I was next though, "So this is what you were out doing the other day, Bella? Having a damn threesome with these assholes?! I trusted you. You told me you were done with this shit!"

I looked at him feeling stunned, "What? The other day? No! That was the night of the photo shoot. Not the other day, Edward. I swear to you!" I stammered, then again reached out to try and take the phone from him unsuccessfully. I couldn't help but feel a bit of relief over the revelation that he'd thought all of this had just happened three days ago instead of before our talk when I'd told him I wanted to be with him, and only him from that moment on.

There was still hope I could simmer the feelings of betrayal he was so obviously feeling.

"But… that's not what you said. You told me you'd spent the day with the _one_ asshole. Not Aro too." Edward replied with a brash wave of his hand towards Demetri's direction.

I shook my head and closed my eyes trying to choose my next words carefully. "Edward, can we please go talk about this in private. Can you _PLEASE_ stop that goddamn video?!" I begged, again trying to take it from his hands where my own distorted moans were becoming increasingly louder over the speakers. He grimaced after looking down at the screen and narrowed his eyes at me, then with an incredible amount of force he slammed the phone into the wall just behind my head. I ducked down on impulse covering my head with my arms and looked at him feeling shocked over his sudden act of aggression. I took a cautious step away from the broken pieces that now laid on the ground and bit at my lip willing myself to not fall to my feet.

"Jesus! What the fuck dude!" Demetri thoughtlessly yelped after seeing his phone shatter into a hundred pieces.

"You're lucky it's not your goddamn face, you motherfucker!" Edward roared, his own face red with anger now.

Paul and Sam were already making their way up the stairs to position themselves between us.

"Ok, let's calm down. Throwing shit is not the answer," A suddenly sober Sam suggested while slowly continuing to move towards us with vigilance.

"Fuck that shit. I would have slammed that thing into the ground a long time ago! And that dip-shit would be on his way to the fucking hospital!" Garrett spoke up quickly siding with his friend while he pointed at a nervous looking Demetri.

"We're fine. We're okay." I softly replied then took in another long breath, "We just need to talk this out."

Edward said nothing. He just continued to glare down at the broken phone on the ground beside my bare feet with his fists clenched at his sides. Paul gave me a worried look that told me right away they didn't trust Edward and his current state of mind. Truthfully, I wasn't exactly sure I did either, but deep down I knew he would never hurt me. At least not on purpose.

If I were to be totally honest, though, I almost wished he would… hurt me... physically. I needed to feel that kind of pain coupled with the emotional pain that was currently tearing me apart.

Anything would be better than what I was feeling right now.

I stood still and watched Edward turn away from me. He left us on the stairs and walked slowly into our bedroom without saying a word. I remained frozen while my eyes looked back and forth between Paul and Sam then down at Jake and Embry. I avoided looking at anyone else. I couldn't take seeing their disapproving, judgmental faces. I knew my boys would never look at me that way. They were the safety net I could always count on. No matter how badly I fucked up, they would always be there to pick up my broken pieces, without ever asking too many questions or demanding anything from me.

"Go to him. Make him listen. Just be careful Bella. He's had a lot to drink." Sam told me softly after stepping up to place his hand on my shoulder to give it an affectionate squeeze. "We'll be just downstairs. If you should need us."

"If ever there was a time to be absolutely honest Bells, now's it." Paul added then nodded his head towards the doorway a few feet away from me. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders before turning away from them without saying another word. My foot instantly kicked at the broken phone, shooting its pieces down the stairs towards Demetri who was still standing by quietly just as Tanya swiftly returned to cursing him out. I gave him one last look that told him we weren't through discussing his betrayal, and then slowly made my way past the beaded curtain of mine and Edward's shared bedroom.

He was standing at the window staring off, out into the darkness. Fists still positioned at his sides. Jaw clenched. Expression shattered.

"Edward,"

"What I just saw Bella. No man should ever have to see what I just saw."

I let out a sigh and shook my head, "I told you not to watch it. Now you understand why I'd always had that rule of keeping things PG when someone else was around," I replied, quickly wanting to defend myself. Even though I knew it was the wrong thing to say, it was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Seriously? That's all you've got? You're going to turn it around so that it's my fault I took the bait? What should I have done? How should I be acting?! Jesus Christ Bella, I just saw you moaning with another man's head between your legs while you held onto his hair with one hand to keep him there! Then, because that wasn't enough, I watched while you used your other hand to rub all over a second motherfucker whose goddamn mouth was all over your body, sucking on your breasts, kissing your lips… you kissing them _both_ the way you kiss me! Fuck! And all you can say is, 'I told you not to watch it,' and _then_ you're going to remind me of your stupid goddamn rules?! Are you kidding me?!"

"I'm… I'm sorry. You knew… you knew… I… it was before… That all happened before we talked. I stopped it and told them no. I couldn't go through with it. I told them no!"

"And I'm supposed to believe that?! That you, of all people, could just turn it off?"

I narrowed my eyes at the sound of his accusation, "Me of all people? When have I ever lied to you!?"

"There's a first time for everything." he coldly answered looking me dead in the eyes.

I shook my head and hugged my body tightly with my arms crossed in front of me, "No. I would never lie to you."

"Oh well in that case, party on! All is well. We can absolutely go on as if nothing at all ever happened."

"_Nothing_ did happen, Edward."

"Bella! I fucking saw it! That was not nothing! Maybe in your twisted world it was nothing, since their tiny dicks didn't actually penetrate you, like a drug you're so obviously addicted to, but what I just viewed was not- _nothing_. After I laid it all out for you. After I told you I was in love with you. _That's _where you went. _That's_ what you did?!"

I sighed feeling my frustration begin rise over the direction our conversation was heading. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made to me that he would be so angry. At the time, I was still free to fuck whoever I wanted, however I wanted, whenever I wanted. We were still not exclusive. No matter what he had said to me that day, if he really knew me, then he should understand exactly where my head was after I'd left this house.

"You're not being fair." I spat out, again crossing my arms in front of me defensively. He turned around and glared at me before taking an abrupt step forward.

"Really? Well then, my apologies. You're right. I keep forgetting that in your universe there are special rules and we all must abide by them." He shouted back then forcefully picked up the lamp beside our night stand and chucked it across the room behind me. I flinched hearing the crash but didn't move my body. I wouldn't let him think he was scaring me.

"Go ahead, throw things. Do whatever you need to do to get it all out. You're drunk, it's a natural instinct."

"Oh I sobered up the second I saw your hands in Aro's hair pushing him down between your thighs from your naked breasts, Bella." His words forced me to look away from him and close my eyes. I could see the betrayal in his eyes. I'd seriously fucked up. As much as he hadn't wanted to hear it, though, this was absolutely why I'd always had the rule to never fool around in front of another boy toy, but Edward wasn't just a boy toy any more. He was more, and that's why he was taking this as hard as he was. Deep down I knew he had every right to be pissed, to want to throw things, and call me every name there was when describing someone who deserved absolutely nothing but hurt and torment in their disconnected life.

I deserved it all, because I deserved absolutely nothing. Least of all him.

"I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I tried to run from myself one last time, and I almost did, but not before I realized I was tired of running. You know what my biggest mistake was though?" I took a step back from him and looked down at my hands that were nervously twisting at my dreads in front of my shoulder. "My biggest mistake was thinking I could be happy. That I could have it all. I never should have let myself believe that someone could really love me, for me. Broken parts and all. Unconditionally. I harbor far too much bullshit. That was my biggest mistake. Letting my guard down and believing I could finally just breathe and not worry about all of my past mistakes catching up to me." I stopped to take a deep breath then exhaled, slowly shaking my head, "Someone once told me I could make my own future… that I could make it be, whatever I wanted it to be… that my past didn't have to decide anything for me. I guess I was just stupid enough to believe that person." I somehow got out, then turned and ran from the room before he could say anything else in response.

I was surprised to find the staircase empty. I didn't even stop to survey where everyone had gone. I just ran as fast as I could out the front door barefoot and wearing nothing but my tiny boxer shorts, and black tank top while my legs carried me into the cold early October night.

I wasn't at all surprised to see Demetri and Tanya already making out against the trunk of his car.

Quickly, I scanned the yard and found a nice size rock about the size of my head propped up against the garage wall then ran over to grab it with both of my hands.

I walked with purpose towards Demetri's fancy shiny car, where he and Tanya were too busy sucking face to even notice I'd joined them. I'd just raised my arms above my head to toss the small bolder into his windshield when Paul's voice cried out instructing me to stop.

Demetri pushed Tanya away from him and straightened his stance as he processed what I clearly intended to do with the rock I was holding above my head. "Bella. Put it down. You don't want to do this." he insisted while slowly stepping towards me with his arms extended in obvious panic.

"Oh but I do. I _really_, _really_ do, Dem. You fucking, shady-ass, son-of-a-bitch! Does Aro even know what you did?!" I screamed still holding the large rock in my trembling hands.

"No. He's going to be pissed as hell. I was going to erase it. I SWEAR I was. It was stupid. We were all fucked up that night. I never would have put that on the web. I swear to you. It was a stupid lapse in judgment on my part. I just got so wrapped up in the moment. You have to believe me."

I dropped the rock at my feet and felt my fists close at my sides after hearing his response.

"Please. You can hate me, you can hit me, or even throw that rock at my car if you really want to. But… before you do, at least let me take some of the guilt away for you. I can do that. Just hear me out."

I looked at him confused.

_What does he mean he can take some of the guilt away from you? _

"You should know that I saw something tonight… it's not fair that he's going to act all holier than thou when just a few hours ago I walked out and caught him holding that Vic girl in his arms out in the parking lot looking incredibly guilty. And that was tonight, Bella. Not two damn weeks ago before he staked his claim on you."

His words didn't make sense. There was no way what he was saying… that it could be true. Why the hell would Edward act the way he just had if he had supposedly shared his own questionable moment with someone who wasn't me just a few hours ago?

_Unless he was looking for an easy way out?_

"Dude, shut the fuck up. Stop trying to put shit into her head. Bella come on. You don't need to listen to this idiot. Let's get out of here." Paul insisted taking me by the arm to start pulling me back up towards the house.

"No. I'm not going back in there." I replied ramming my heels into the grass before sitting my ass onto the cold damp ground.

"You're going to catch pneumonia out here. Can we at least get you some clothes and then you can come back to the hotel with us for the night," my friend softly suggested after kneeling down beside me to wipe the tears that had finally begun to run down my cheeks. I looked up at him and tried my best to control the sobs that were suddenly pouring from every part of my body.

"Oh-okay. I'll- can I just wa- wait out here?"

"Of course. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." he answered looking down at me with sadness in his eyes.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and instantly began rocking my body as the cold air brought a shiver down my spine, "Paul, don't forget Jane." He nodded his head and shot me a thumbs up then disappeared inside the house just as Demetri and his car sped off down the street taking Tanya with them.

"Fucking asshole." I muttered to myself. I still hadn't fully processed what he had said though. If it were true, if Edward had indeed shared a moment with Vic out in the parking lot, and he was still being a total ass over something that had happened before we'd started this whole boyfriend slash girlfriend bullshit… I would be devastated.

_And don't forget un-repair-ably heartbroken. _

_SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!_

Without even realizing it my body suddenly forced itself up onto my feet and I was walking myself back inside the house, then up the stairs to our bedroom.

I shouldn't have been surprised to find Vic sitting beside Edward on MY bed, while she rubbed at his shoulders, with her mouth beside his ear, but I was.

"Fucking awesome. I mean, is this real life? I'm gone five minutes and you're already up here trying to straddle him?" I accused then rushed myself towards her to take her red hair into my hands and send her body off my bed towards the ground.

I just couldn't fucking take it anymore. The bitch was going to feel the emotional pain I was feeling, only in a very physical way.

"Bella!" Edward shouted, instantly standing up to position himself between us so I'd be unable to force any more hurt on her well deserving body after I'd released two solid smacks across her face with the back of my closed fists. "Stop it! Now!" he demanded with force.

I took a step back and shook my head starring him straight in the eyes, "How dare you get all self-righteous on me! Demetri told me! He told me what he saw! _You_ said I could trust _you_! You're nothing but a fucking hypocrite, Edward Cullen!"

He looked genuinely confused, "What the hell are you talking about."

"She's obviously talking about what happened in the parking lot, Edward." Vic replied from the ground, with a slight smirk on her now bright red face. I tried to push myself passed him to kick the smirk from her painted mouth but he held me back then pushed me up against the wall to hold me in place while I continued to fight desperately against him.

"Let-Go-Of-ME!" I screamed trying to break free.

"Honey, I'm not the one who got caught screwing around with some townies on a cell phone cam. I _seriously_ suggest you calm your tits." Vic replied smugly.

I was seeing red. Blood red. "Oh, _Seriously_?! No. You know what? _Seriously_, you're right, Vic! You're the one who fucking aborted his baby and for weeks still pretended to be pregnant. All so you could force him to stay in a demented, loveless relationship. One that he obviously didn't want to be in, even before you became a fucking baby murdering, psychotic cunt! Take your hands off of me, Edward. I won't say it again!" I threatened through my clenched teeth, still wildly trying to break free from his control.

"What the hell is going on in here?! You were supposed to wait outside Bella! Fuck! What happened? Where was the mustache tattoo under your damn nose signal!? Jesus!" Paul shouted after coming into the room to see Vic on the ground with blood at the side of her mouth and me being pressed up against the wall by Edward.

"You need to get her out of here." Edward replied, avoiding my eyes and looking at my friend. My heart instantly felt as if it had received about a thousand stabs with those eight words. He wanted _me _to leave. Not her. I was the one who was no longer welcomed here.

I couldn't help but laugh. It was all too perfect. _This_ was exactly what I deserved. Not the life I'd experienced from the moment I'd poured my soul and heart out to the man standing in front of me. The same man who had now chosen to guard his ex, the female who had terminated the life of his unborn child, instead of trying to talk to me with an open, nonjudgmental heart. I didn't deserve that kind of easy happiness. It wasn't mine for the taking. Before I'd even taken my first breath on this planet, my path had already been decided for me. No one would ever truly want me, or love me unconditionally. I was a fool to ever think otherwise.

"I've got her." Sam replied after appearing beside me with Jake and Embry close behind him. He took my wrists and slowly lowered them at my sides then forced my chin upward to look into his eyes, "Let's go. You don't _need_ to be here. You don't _need_ this. Let us take you home, Bella." he pleaded. I could tell how much it was hurting him to see me spiral so out of control. They all looked as if they'd just seen their best friend fall to her death right in front of them.

"Um. What do you mean, take her _home_?" Edward quietly asked, interrupting him from walking me towards the dresser to throw my stuff into a bag Jake had pulled from the closet.

"Not now, Edward. We're here for _her. _If she doesn't want to be here anymore, then that's her decision to make. You need to let her make it. I think you've said your piece." Paul warned holding his arm out to block him from stepping any closer towards me. I glanced up at Edward. For some reason, I felt the need to give him a chance to tell me he didn't want me to go. He stared into my eyes, but said nothing. He just stood there and watched me as I pushed everything I could into the single bag Jake had given me. When it was full I forced the zipper closed then slowly walked over to retrieve Jane and lay her in her case. I snapped it shut and closed my eyes to slow my breathing before turning to face everyone. When I opened them I walked over to my nightstand and pulled my black and white composition book from the drawer. I tore a single page from the back and folded it into a tiny square before walking over to Edward to place it in his hand.

"It was for you. The song… My song. It had always been for you. I'd started writing it before I even knew you existed… but then you came into my life, and it all just made sense. The music, the lyrics. It all just came to me. It's not finished, but you should have it. I want you to have it." I whispered then forcefully brushed the tears from my face. "I'm sorry. For all of it. For letting you in. For allowing you to fall in love with me. For letting you think you could fix me. I should have known better. Hell, I did know better. I always knew this was how it would end. I'm so sorry." Those were my last words to him. I turned to walk out leaving him behind with Vic standing a few feet away looking utterly triumphant.

Unfortunately, on our way out the front door my housemates pulled up in the driveway.

"Super." I muttered, digging myself deeper under Sam's arm in hopes he would have some magical shield to defend me from their prying questions.

"Where are you off to?" James asked eyeing the bag in my hand before noticing my bloodshot eyes and tear soaked cheeks.

"A lot happened. Edward can fill you guys in. I'm going to be checking out for the next few days. I need a break. I'll let you know what I decide to do, as far as staying in the house till we wrap. There's a good chance I won't be back though. I left my cell phone on the dresser. I don't want to be bothered. Please respect that."

"Wha-WHAT?! What do you mean? No Bella! You can't just leave! You promised! Whatever happened, you guys will work it out. You always do!" Alice stammered instantly pulling at my arm. I shook my head disagreeing with her and let out a loud frustrated sigh.

"I was stupid to let my guard down. I was wrong. When I told you it could be worth it… letting someone in. It's not worth it, Little A. It's just not. This hurts way too much for it to ever be worth it." I softly replied then gave her arm a light squeeze and continued to walk towards the taxi van that was thankfully waiting at the end of the drive way to take me away.

As soon as I got into the back seat I glanced down at the seatbelt and broke into tears again thinking about Edward and all his past reprimanding when it came to my inability to always buckle up. My body was instantly shaking as my sobs took over my every limb. Never in my life had I felt so lost. So battered and so broken. Nothing in my past could compare to this. Nothing. As the taxi pulled away from the house I realized there was a reason for that. It was because for the first time in my life I'd allowed myself to fall in love. Real love. The paralyzing kind of love I'd been running from since as far back as I could remember. I loved Edward Cullen, and I'd _still _done exactly what I'd always known I would do. I'd broken his heart. It was only right that he'd rip my own heart from my chest and finally turn his back on me without even blinking his eyes.

I took a deep breath to calm my crying. I brushed my hands forcefully across my face to remove the tears that had soaked my cheeks. I refused to cry any longer.

This was what I deserved.

This was the path I'd chosen.

This was the course I was meant to be on.

Alone. In control. Voided of all uncontrollable emotions and feelings.

That's where I belonged. That's when I was the strongest. That's the only way I could ever be safe from myself.

Just me. My guitar. And my boys who would never ask too many questions, or expect too much of me.

"It's going to be okay." Jake quietly insisted, breaking the silence in the van for the first time. They all turned to look at me and offered their best smiles while they nodded their heads in agreement.

I sat myself up in my seat and let out a loud sigh, before clearing my throat, "I know. I'm just mad at myself for thinking it was ever possible. I should have known better. I did know better. I made a lot of mistakes since coming here. The biggest one was obviously allowing myself to think with my heart for once, rather than my head. It won't happen again. Lesson learned. There's no fixing something that was born to be broken."

* * *

**A/N: *Tear***

**I can't even tell you how hard that chapter was to write, but since day one I knew we would eventually be here. I'll remind you again, I promise some kind of a HEA ending for these two. The road to get there will be bumpy, but the angst and drama won't last forever. Hopefully you'll stick around to see how things turn out. **

****I'd love to hear from you, and I do reply to all of my reviews. With my reply, as thanks, I will also include a outtake of EPOV from this chapter, since we only got to see things from BPOV.****

**Big thanks to my beta, Riss! She got this chapter back to me unbelievably fast. Love you bb!**

**I promise to update ASAP, the next chapter is just about complete. **

**'Till next time.**


	23. Proceed With Caution

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. RL and all, boo. **

**This chapter will keep us knee deep in angst for just a little while longer, but it also means once we get past it, we will be one step closer to some kind of reconciliation... maybe. *smirk* **

**I want to take a second and again thank everyone who left a review for the last chapter. Your feedback is what keeps me going at this pace. You have no idea how much it means to me, and how much it motivates me when I hear from you. I hope you enjoyed the outtake (PLEASE let me know if you did not receive BOTH parts in your Inbox here on FFN). I'm currently working on completing the rest of the last chapter from EPOV. Once it's up on the blog I will let you know. **

**Alright, lets get to it then. **

* * *

**Proceed With Caution**

**Chapter 23**

**~Bella~**

As soon as we got out of the taxi at the hotel I lit a cigarette at my mouth and took in a long deep drag. Thankfully no one gave me a hard time about the cancer stick I was holding in my trembling hand. They all knew better. "I'll come up to your room when I'm finished," I softly told my friends, avoiding all of their eyes after exhaling the smoke in front of me.

"Nah, we'll stay back with you." Paul spoke up then gently took me by the arm to lead me over to a bench beneath the over hang in front of the lobby.

I shrugged and took a seat, "Suit yourself. I just figured you guys could use a break from watching me self-destruct." I turned to look up at Jake and narrowed my eyes at him, "I can't believe you were actually sucking face with that skank of a bitch." I muttered once he'd silently taken a seat beside me.

"I can't believe you let some asshole tape you in your element, with his damn iPhone. You know better, Bella." he replied not even taking a second to consider his words.

"Fair enough. I fucked up, but my head was in a fucked up place! Edward told me he loved me, and I panicked. I was desperate to prove to myself that it didn't mean a damn thing. I stopped it though. With Aro and Demetri. Before it got out of control, I stopped it. I know it didn't sound like it, but I pulled myself back, and I walked away with my clothes on. I swear on the graves of my parents, nothing went past some heavy petting, and making out… Okay, yes, there was some extremely _heavy_ petting at times, but their actual cocks never entered any part of my upper _or_ lower body."

"TMI Bella. TMI. The point is your boyfriend just watched that heavy petting and the making out, with audio. That's of course going to elicit some unwanted emotions and reactions. No matter when, or why it happened. Bottom line, It happened. You need to just own it now, and once you've sobered up you need to decide what you want to do next." Paul lectured.

"Thanks _Captain Obvious_, I do own it! I'm obviously not denying it happened. I'm just saying it didn't mean a damn thing, and its what inevitably forced me to see that I really do… that I really _did_, have feelings for Edward. I'm so sick of the games. I don't… I _didn't _want any of that bullshit in my life anymore."

"Like I said, you need to sober up so you can decide if your head is thinking in past, or present -tense." Paul muttered with a shake of his own head while staring down at me.

"Did you tell Edward all of that? What you just told us?" Sam asked bending down to kneel beside me in front of the bench.

"No. He didn't give me much of a chance."

"Geez what a dick. He saw you in what looked to be a hot and heavy threesome some prick captured on video and he didn't want to hear what you had to say in your defense. How dare he! Do you want us to go kick his ass?" Embry sarcastically questioned.

"Shut up." I warned crossing my left arm in front of me while my right hand once again brought my cigarette to my mouth. "I told him not to watch it. It's his own damn fault. It's why my rules make absolute sense. You guys know this. Him and I, we weren't exclusive when it happened!"

"Bella, stop. For once in your life, stop making excuses courtesy of your damn rules." Jake spoke up instantly hushing me. "Just because you tell someone not to do something, it doesn't mean they're going to listen. How have you not learned that by now? The only person who cares about your rules is you, and that's because they make you feel safe and in control. When you fall in love there's no such thing as rules anymore. You can't be in control of that. Trust me. I know."

I frowned in response and let my head fall back behind my shoulders to look up at the night sky. "Whatever. It wasn't just me. He fucked up too. Demetri said he caught him and Vic out in the parking lot tonight." I spat out impulsively, desperately wanting to take the attention off of me and my own wrong doings. I was tired of being reprimanded.

Jake raised his brow and crossed his arms, "Caught them doing _what _exactly?" he instantly questioned. I knew why he was asking for details. If Edward had crossed the line with Vic, Jake would defend my honor till the very end. If any guy had stepped out and screwed me over, then, upon my approval, my best friends would make it their priority to set that guy straight.

I shrugged and took another hard drag from my cigarette, "He was apparently holding her, in his arms. Looking guilty."

"That's it?" Jake asked with a muffled laugh, "Bella, you've done worst with all four of us since we've gotten here."

"This is different. With you guys its different." I insisted crossing my own arms in front of me to mirror his stance.

"How so?" Paul pressed leaning his chin into his open palms from where his arms propped himself up above his knees beside me.

"It just is. I'm not going to gossip about their past. Let's just say its beyond fucked up, and she's a manipulative little bitch who apparently can't take no for an answer. I wasn't even gone ten minutes tonight and I caught her all over him in our bedroom... On my damn bed!" I yelled, instantly standing up to face them. I didn't need to hear them make up excuses for him. They were over stepping for even trying to. This was the last thing I needed. I didn't want to think about any of it anymore. It was over. Done. There was no point in even talking about, or bringing up Edwards name. Too much damage had been done on both sides. Too much had been said. Too much had been seen. There was no erasing the last hour from our history so I would just have to add it to the vault of, _Bella's Fucked Up Mistakes_, and keep moving forward the only way I knew how.

"If you guys can't just leave it alone I'll go some place else for the night. I don't need you trying to give me false hopes that what happened was nothing more than a small hiccup in mine and Edwards relationship. I may be new to all of this crap, but I'm certainly not stupid. What we had…it was gut wrenchingly amazing while it lasted, but now it's over."

"Bella," Sam started but I quickly interrupted him.

"OVER!" I shouted with a stomp of my foot, "Now. Is there any booze upstairs?"

"Well," Paul started to say before Jake quickly interrupted him.

"No. There isn't. You don't need anymore alcohol. You need to get some sleep," my best friend firmly replied while throwing Paul a warning glare.

"Don't tell me what I need, Jake! Jesus! I'm taking a walk. Don't follow me. Any of you. I mean it." I didn't wait for them to reply I just turned on my heels and began heading for the street while I tried to remember where the closest liquor store was in the general vicinity. After glancing at my watch I realized I only had another twenty minutes before the stores in this town would all be closing. There really wasn't a point to even try. It would be an impossible mission, and truthfully my eyes were feeling ridiculously heavy thanks to all the crying I'd already endured.

I swiftly kicked at a pinecone my foot had come into contact with then slowly turned myself around. Thankfully the guys had all heeded my warning, and were no longer standing out in front of the hotel lobby.

Every time I closed my eyes to take in a deep breath I saw Edwards broken expression. Without something to numb those heart crushing memories, there was no way I'd get any sleep tonight. The last thing I wanted to do was lay down in a dark room with nothing but my now sobered up thoughts invading me at every angle.

"Awesome. This is absolutely awesome. The best night of my entire fucked up life." I mocked then pulled my hoodie closed in front of me before heading inside. I could hear them all talking on the other side of the door but the only thing I could make out was my name being said multiple times. It slightly infuriated me that I was the one being talked about, but I also knew it was to be expected. I tapped on the door and the muffled chatter immediately stopped.

Jake greeted me a few seconds later with a forced a smile, "That didn't take long."

"It's cold, and all the stores will be closed in a few minutes. Pointless to even try, unless I hitch-hiked, and I'm not in the mood to deal with anymore assholes tonight." I replied walking past him to take a seat on the floor in the corner of their small room.

Jake cleared his throat nervously then kneeled beside me, "Bells," he whispered, "My email has been blowing up. I know you don't want to talk about it, but apparently the producers want to meet with you tomorrow. James said noon at the house."

"Fantastic." I muttered while my pointer finger twirled one of my smaller dreads in front of my face. "I'll let them sweat a little. Seriously though, you guys don't even have any beer here?"

"We do, but I happen to have something better. I managed to smuggle a little something-something through airport security. If you're game, I mean." Paul replied with a slight grin.

"What the hell!? Why didn't you say something sooner? That's even better you jerk!" I was instantly on my feet walking towards my friend who was now waving a chocolate brown blunt in the air teasingly.

"They didn't want me helping you self medicate, but upon further review, I've decided I don't care what they want. Let's go toke up in the bathroom, Dreadilocks."

"What, you guys aren't in?" I asked scanning the rest of my friends blank faces.

"I promised the ball and chain I'd cut back." Sam explained looking ridiculously disappointed in himself.

Embry shrugged, "They're doing random drug tests this month after some dipshit got caught smoking on a job site," he shared then fell backwards onto one of the beds.

Jake said nothing, he just shook his head and turned to look out the window.

"Ok fine. More for us. Let's do this." I quickly grabbed at Paul's shirt and began pulling him towards the bathroom after my other hand took the blunt from his fingers to run it under my nose so I could appreciate the intoxicating aroma. "How'd you sneak this past security anyways?"

"I stuck it in some coffee grounds, then wrapped it in about thirty zip-lock bags and pushed it to the bottom of Embry's massive hair gel jar. Piece of cake."

I laughed and took a seat on the edge of the bath tub then leaned over to turn the hot water all the way on to steam out the room after dropping a bar of scented soap beside the drain. Paul carefully stood on the toilet to wrap the courtesy shower cap around the smoke detector on the ceiling then turned to smile down at me.

"Just like old times," he toyed, shooting me a wink before sitting down in front of me on the floor against the vanity. I watched him light the blunt at his lips and licked my own anticipating the fog that would soon surround me.

_Perhaps sleep will be possible tonight? Maybe even some therapeutic shower fucking, Swan?_

"You're a damn lifesaver." I softly replied with a careless grin before scooting myself over to sit closer beside him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. He nodded and passed the burning blunt to me then slowly exhaled with a light cough escaping between his lips.

"I try. This is better for you anyways. They didn't want to agree with me, but they will. I was about to come find you myself when you came back."

"Huh, but I told you guys not to follow me," I teased back. Two puffs and I was already starting to forget everything that had been crushing me from the inside out for the last hour of my miserably disappointing life.

"I had a feeling this would give me a get-out-of-jail-free-card," my friend explained just as I held the blunt up to his lips for him to take another hard drag from my hand.

We sat in silence for a few long minutes with nothing but the sounds of the shower surrounding us. He was letting me sort through my shit while my thoughts began to set themselves on auto pilot. He knew it was safe now. That this was the only way I'd truly be able to work through my demons without ending up convulsing on the bathroom floor from alcohol poisoning.

Even though I hated to admit it, if they'd have helped me find more liquor tonight, or quickly given in to my request for beer, I surely would have drank myself close to death, and it wouldn't have been the first time.

"So." Paul finally spoke up breaking me from my stare at the tiles on the floor where I'd been replaying the smack down I'd laid onto Vic's face over and over again in my head.

"Word."

"You doing okay now? Better, I mean?"

"Doing fine, Paulie. I told you guys I'd be alright. I don't know. I guess I just had to experiment a little. I can now scientifically conclude that it is _not_ better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." I replied with a half smile before taking another long drag from the blunt at my lips. I leaned back and closed my eyes feeling my limbs begin to tingle thanks to the chronic that was now numbing me from the inside out.

"I'm not so sure that the time you've spent out here could be considered as scientific evidence, Bells." he teased back with a light chuckle then bumped my leg lightly with his fist. I instantly grabbed at his hand to bring it back to my upper thigh and firmly pressed it there, wanting to feel his touch a little while longer.

"Ha! Well that's not what the producers said. We're a damn social experiment. Without a doubt scientifically-labeled. It's fact. I signed the contract. Stupid contract. I'm going to have to call my lawyer in the morning."

Thankfully Paul had followed my non verbal prompt, and was now gently rubbing his opened palm up and down my leg with just the right amount of friction before he let out a huff, "So you're really going to quit?"

I took in a deep exasperated breath and nodded my head, "I mean, how can I stay in that house?"

"It's only a few more weeks. I think we both know you can do anything you set your mind to, Bells."

I looked at him with surprise on my face. I couldn't believe he was actually trying to talk me into staying. "You don't want me to come home?" I asked feeling incredibly hurt all of the sudden. I sat my body up straighter beside him and looked down directly into his stare. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head then took a quick drag from the blunt before leaning over to ash it into the opened toilet bowl a few feet away from us.

"Of course I want you home. Don't be an idiot," he finally answered after releasing the smoke from his lungs. I smiled and leaned in closer towards him to firmly run my hand through his hair.

_That's right, Swan. Do what you need to do, to forget the man who forced you from his life tonight. This is what's natural. This is what will make you feel complete again. Whole, and a lot less battered. _

"Good boy. That's what I needed to hear." I whispered then felt my truer auto pilot kick in over the sight of his familiar mischievous grin. Slowly, but with purpose, I moved myself across his lap to wrap my legs around his torso and face him. He smiled and held the blunt to my lips then ran his free hand down my hip to hold me in place over him while his eyes scanned my body up and down.

Next on the list of, _How To Forget It All, _was some good old fashion friends with benefits fun. Something Paul was a pro at.

He laughed lightly and shook his head, "I'm not doing this with you tonight, Bella." he quietly warned, still smiling up at me as I slowly brought my lips down to gently kiss him with my mouth partially opened. He returned the kiss but remained guarded. When I pulled away he kept his eyes closed and again shook his head. I could instantly tell he was battling some good versus evil voices inside of his head.

It would be up to me to make sure the menacing voice with horns won.

"What are we _not_ doing tonight, Paul?" I toyed already knowing he didn't truly believe his own words. I could feel just how badly he actually _did_ want to do this tonight. I quickly leaned back down and returned my lips to his, pushing my body deeper into him so I could feel his obvious excitement pressed between my legs. He moaned against my mouth as his hands slid under my ass to firmly squeeze the part of my body that he's always said drove him absolutely wild. He grunted as my own hand began traveling up under his shirt then down towards the button fly of his jeans. Before I knew it we were both up off of the floor while he continued to hold me firmly against him and our mouths continued to move with fevering need against one another. His legs moved us across the room and pressed my back into the wall with a sudden loud bang that forced us both apart to laugh for a moment while we caught our breath.

"Christ, I missed this. Which makes what I'm about to say ridiculously insane, Bella. As much as I'd love to rip your clothes from your body, and bend you over in front of me right now. For the first time in your life, you're in love with someone, and because of that fact, we can't do this tonight. You need to sleep it off, and reassess in the morning. Then, once your sober, if you decide you still need me to fuck you till you forget, _then_ I'll consider it. But not tonight, Bells. I'm sorry."

I felt my mouth instantly drop open, "Are you serious?! You can't mean that. Please don't do this to me! Not tonight." I moaned then pushed myself away from him. I dropped my body dramatically to the ground and scooted across the tile floor then leaned my back against the tub. After hugging my knees to my chest I glared in his direction. I wasn't used to being shot down. And certainly not by Paul. "I bet Jake would be willing to help me out of this depression."

"I bet he _wouldn't_." Paul challenged then bit at his lip where my kiss had obviously left him hungry for more of me. I could see it in his eyes. He was craving some emotionless fucking, just like I was. Embry had briefly filled me tonight that during my absence Paul had hooked up with a newbie in town, but that she'd called things off just before they'd come out here to visit me. He was without a doubt in need of his own round of rebound fun, but he was still refusing me, which was absolutely shocking. "We all made a pact. No _rides_ till you have your head on straight again."

"Lame. You guys know I never have my head on straight." I muttered with a roll of my eyes. I wasn't surprised by his admission though. I was only surprised that he indeed seemed to want to hold up his end of the pact. It wasn't like anyone had to know. Paul and I had mastered the art of silent mind numbing sex back when we were teenagers and used to fool around for hours in my grandparents house.

"Well, if were not going to let me have your cock, and if that blunt is done, I should go to bed before I start to come down off this buzz. Thanks for at least helping numb my brain enough so I might be able to get some sleep tonight." I snickered as I slowly stood up to stretch my arms above my head then out at my sides. He grinned seeing my exposed belly and took in a deep breath. "You're sure, you're sure about this?" I teased further, forcing myself to smile again and shoot him a wink.

"Stop making it so hard woman. _Literally_. You know my dick is not what you need. No matter how spectacular it might be," he muttered with a sly grin then stood up beside me to immediately bring me into his arms for a solid hug against him.

"No, that's the problem, Paul. I don't seem to know what, or who I need anymore. I don't even know who I can trust for that matter." I whispered feeling tears suddenly threaten to escape me all over again.

"You can trust us, Bells. Always. Whatever you decide to do next. We will stand behind you and be there for you every step of the way," he softly insisted then increased his grasp around me for a few more seconds before slowly releasing me from his arms, "Come on, lets get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day. A Bella-made do-over."

I nodded my head and brushed the random tears from my face that had slid down my cheeks, "Now if only that do-over came with a time machine." I whispered with a loud sigh following my words, then let him guide me out of the bathroom with his hands at my shoulders.

The only thing still on outside of the bathroom was the television, all the lights had been turned off and Sam was already asleep on the floor with his sleeping bag between the two beds. Embry was on his lap top at the table by the window, and Jake was under the covers in the bed against the wall. Our eyes met and he offered a forced smile that I did my best to return. "Feeling better?" he asked, then eyed Paul suspiciously.

"If by better you mean, am I feeling less devastated over the fact that my heart was figuratively torn from my chest a short while ago… yeah the chronic helped numb some of that debilitating emotional pain." I replied with a soft sigh then took a seat beside him and leaned back against the headboard. He reached over and squeezed my knee affectionately with his hand. I leaned my head to rest it on his shoulder and allowed a soft whimper to escape from between my lips, "It hurts, Jake. It hurts really bad. If this is what I did to you. If you felt even a fraction of this. I'm so so sorry." I whispered then noticed both Embry and Paul impulsively look over at us. Now wasn't really the time to have this conversation, but I was stoned, and when I smoked and hung out with the guys, I always lost my filter.

"It's okay. You'd never do anything to hurt me on purpose. I know that. You've always been straight forward with me, and true to yourself. It was my fault for ever thinking I could possibly change you. I hate seeing you like this though. I wish I could take it all away. You don't deserve any of it. You've never deserved any of the bullshit that seems to always find its way into your life." he replied back then took my hand into his to give it a firm and loving squeeze before kissing it softly at his lips.

I hiccupped back the sob that had threatened to force its way past my own lips and threw my arms around his neck to hug him tightly. "I wish I could have changed. For you. I really do wish it could have been that easy and simple for us."

He laughed lightly against my ear and increased his hold on me, "We don't choose who we fall in love with, Bella. Unfortunately, love will always choose for us."

I pushed myself away from him and felt a smile creep across my face, "That has to be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say, Jacob Black. Did you read that in some Nicholas Sparks novel or something?" I snickered bringing a smirk to his own face.

"No. Maybe. I don't know. Way to kill the moment though, Swan. I was trying to be sincere. Jesus."

I laughed and shook my head before tightly hugging him again, "Thanks Jake. Do you think… I mean, would it be okay if I slept in your arms tonight?"

He instantly looked over at Paul and Embry and I punched him in the arm, "I promise I wont try anything that might break the pact." I snickered creating a shocked expression on his face. "Paul had to tell me." I explained. "I pretty much forced the information from him."

He rolled his eyes then pulled the comforter up for me to climb under beside him. I pressed my head against his chest and draped my arm across him to pull myself firmly against his solid body. "Seriously though, thanks, Jake."

"You're welcome, Bella. It's late. Get some sleep," he whispered above me then gently slid his own arm across my back and kissed the top of my head. "No bad dreams tonight. It's not allowed on my watch. Tomorrow's a new day." I smiled and nodded my head then closed my eyes to block out the dancing lights that surrounded us from the television screen. The last thing I remember hearing before drifting off to sleep was Jake humming one of my favorite songs while his hand brushed gently up and down my back.

In that moment I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. To have such an amazing group of friends who, without a doubt knew just how to manage my insane ways without ever making me feel anymore anxious than I already was being in my own skin. I couldn't help but feel like I was back where I belonged, with who I'd belonged with all along. I'd run myself across the country thinking I needed to find my way without them, but it was slowly becoming more and more obvious that I in fact did need them, almost as much as a tree needed oxygen to grow.

* * *

**~EDWARD~**

I felt like everything around me was imploding. Nothing seemed real, it all felt like a bad dream that my body was refusing to wake up from. What I had seen with my own two eyes. What my ears had listened to. Those images, and sounds, for as long as I lived, they would never go away. Every time I blinked I saw Bella with Aro and Demetri while they molested her body with their hands and mouths.

She smiled.

She smiled over their every goddamn touch while they fucking attempted to tag team each other as if she were some kind of game they were playing to conquer and win.

"Damn, she really smacked you good Vic. That's definitely going to leave a nice bruise tomorrow. Not that you didn't deserve it. I'm surprised she didn't knock you on your ass earlier in the day when you were obsessed with having your hands all over her boyfriend." Garrett teased from the bathroom doorway while he watched me press a bag of ice to the side of our female friends face.

"Ha. Funny. She totally sucker punched me. It's not my fault she's an insecure bitch who has to take her clothes off for every man who presents himself. Given a rematch I'd show her what a real girl fight looks like."

"Shut up, Vic." I warned looking her dead in the eyes. If she hadn't pounced on me the second Bella had stormed away from our room that entire scene in our bedroom, the one that had made everything that much worst, it never would have happened. Her current bruised up and bloodied state was no ones fault but her own and she'd certainly deserved it.

"What? You're going to defend her now?" she scoffed firmly crossing her arms in front of her.

I said nothing. Instead I turned the faucet on to dampen the wash cloth I'd pulled from the cabinet then handed it to her and leaned back against the wall while my thoughts continued to swirl. She dabbed at the deep cut on the side of her mouth then glanced at me from the reflection of the mirror in front of her, "Fine, I'm sorry."

"Ha! No she's not." Garrett laughed without missing a beat, "I'm going to go find Laurent and Ben. You two play nice."

I rolled my eyes and watched our friend leave then crossed my own arms in front of me. I'd already told my housemates I would come down in a few minutes to talk to them after I was done helping Vic clean herself up. I knew they were waiting for me but I wasn't exactly ready to face their questions. Alice looked absolutely devastated when she'd run into the bedroom demanding answers. Jasper had instantly disappeared. I was almost certain he'd gone up to the control room in the attic to watch tonight's footage that the installed house cameras must have captured.

The suits up stairs had to be positively glowing.

Bella and I… we would go down in the It's Real Life history books for all the wrong reasons now.

I took a sip from the mug of black coffee Alice had brought up to me and grimaced at the bitter taste as it ran across my tongue. I was desperate to sober up though. I needed to get my thoughts in check so I'd be able to process everything more clearly.

"I really am sorry, E. Garrett's right though, I'm not sorry for calling her a bitch. She is, and you know it. What kind of a girl does that? Fools around with two guys like that? I'm just sorry that you're obviously hurting over it. I hate seeing you so sad. You don't deserve this kind of heartache." Vic softly shared after turning around to face me.

I looked down at the coffee mug in my hand and took another deep breath. "You're wrong. She's not a bitch… I don't expect you to understand. No one could ever understand what she's been through."

"Oh I'm sure she laid it on real thick for you though, so that _you_ would be able to understand. Am I right? I'm sure she warned you a hundred times that it was dangerous to fall for someone like her. Jesus, how could you not see through such an obvious set up. She's had you believing from the very beginning that no matter what, or WHO she did, it could and would always be justified simply because of her _awful _past that has supposedly created the whore she's become. That still doesn't give her an excuse to fuck around on you, Edward."

"She didn't fuck around on me." I instantly replied through clenched teeth, once again refusing to look at her. "We were still seeing other people when that shit happened. I shouldn't have blown up on her. Damn it… I said so much… I shouldn't have… why did I tell them to take her? Why did I do that?!" I shouted to myself after kicking the side of the vanity with my foot. I slid my back down the wall and took a seat on the floor then brashly ran my hands through my hair feeling ridiculously overwhelmed all of the sudden.

"Don't be an idiot, Edward. She deserved every word you said to her because she sure as hell never deserved someone like you. You told them to take her away because that's what any man would want after seeing his girlfriend take her clothes off for someone else." Vic replied after kneeling down beside me to remove my fingers from pulling at my hair. She cupped my face between her opened palms and forced me to look into her eyes. "You deserve someone who wants to be loved by you. Someone who trusts you, and would never run when things start to pile up. Someone who would appreciate every morning, afternoon, and night they would have in your arms, and never push you away. We can try again, Edward. I can make you happy. We can make another baby. If that's what you want. Whatever you want, please let me do that for you. Let me make it all right again."

The next thing I knew Vic's lips were coming at me. I immediately shoved her away and stood up glaring over her manipulative words and unwanted affection.

"I want you to leave," I ordered without blinking.

"What?"

"You heard me. You're poison Vic and I'm done letting you contaminate my life. I thought you could change. I thought we could go back to the way things were. I was obviously wrong. I was obviously an idiot for giving you another chance and inviting you out here. Now get the hell out of this house, and don't ever come looking for me again. Not here, not in Cali, Hawaii, not anywhere!" I shouted with my index finger pointed at her.

The more I began to sober up, the more I realized just how badly I had fucked up over the last twenty-four hours, and how many of those fucked up moments directly involved Vic.

"But, Edward. I can't help it if I still love you!" Vic shouted with tears now streaming down her face.

"Well that sure as hell sucks for you because I can't help it if just the sight of you makes me want to…to," I didn't finish my sentence. Instead I decided to show her exactly what the sight of her did to me. I pulled back my fist and punched it straight through the bathroom door then stormed out of the room with blood dripping past my knuckles onto the floor. Without even taking a second to try and stop the bleeding with a towel, I rushed myself down the stairs to find Laurent, Ben, and Garrett.

I was fuming and I needed her _gone_.

"Take her back to the hotel. I never want to see her face again. I'm done with her bullshit games. She's fucking insane. I'll call you guys in the morning." I told my friends who looked absolutely confused.

"What the hell happened? Dude, your hand!" Garrett asked looking down at my bloody fist then past me where I was sure Vic was already standing by looking stunned and broken herself. I heard another quiet sob then the sound of the front door's alarm chirp that it had been opened right before the solid slam came from her storming out.

"It's nothing, I punched the door, I'm just so done and over her crap. She's the last thing I need right now. Please get her out of here so I can fucking process all of this shit and figure out what I need to do next."

"Okay, sure. Whatever you need. Call us in the morning so we can come say goodbye before getting on the road." Laurent replied then slapped my shoulder. "We totally get it."

I nodded my head and thanked them then went into the living room where everyone was sitting quietly with shocked expressions on their own faces.

"You don't have to tell us what happened. Jasper just finished filling us in." Alice softly informed me, while avoiding my eyes. I looked over at my cameraman friend and he offered me an apologetic shrug.

"Sorry man. I figured you wouldn't want to tell it all over again, that it would be better if I just gave them a cliff notes style run down of what had happened." he shared with apprehension in his tone.

"No that's fine. You're right. I really didn't want to have to relive any of it."

"So you just let her go? You let them take her?" Rose asked sounding surprised after tossing me a towel to wrap my hand up in. I nodded my head and fell back onto the chair beside the sofa then found my uninjured hand tugging nervously at my hair again.

"I told them to take her. She… she'd lost it. Like totally lost it. She was going to beat the shit out of Vic if they didn't get her out of here," I tried to explain.

"So what? I mean are you surprised? That girl deserved a good beat down." Alice angrily replied. "Bella had to sit and watch her throw herself at you all frigin day… and then you… you told her to leave and you let that girl stay… no wonder she was so hurt… no wonder she looked, and sounded so far gone when she said goodbye to us. You tossed her to the side Edward as if she didn't matter at all. How could you do that?"

I glanced at our pixie housemate and felt my heart whither further after hearing that Bella had looked so obviously broken when she'd left the house.

"Tell us the truth Edward. Did something happen in the parking lot?" Alice demanded surprising me again with her sudden assertiveness.

"What? No! Nothing happened. I mean, yes Demetri walked out and saw us talking, and yes it might have looked like something was going on, but it was nothing! We were just talking! Bella's showed more questionable affection with her little posse of boys than I even remotely let happen between Vic and I over the last day and a half. I'd never cheat on her. Not ever."

"Did you tell her that?" James asked.

"No. She didn't let me. She was too busy accusing me and then slamming the back of her fist into Vic's face after calling me a hypocrite."

"Shit. This is really bad. She took a bag man. She said she didn't know if she would be coming back." Emmett muttered to himself. I looked over just in time to see the rest of my housemates all nod their heads in unison, obviously agreeing with him.

"And Tanya just took off again with Demetri?" Rose questioned.

"I guess. I honestly have no idea. Do you know?" I asked looking over at Jasper who had taken a seat beside Alice to bring her hand into his.

"From what I saw it looked like Tanya and Demetri made up outside right away… Bella almost threw a bolder into his windshield, but her friend Paul stopped her. She sat out in the yard, her friend ran back into the house, then Demetri and Tanya drove off and that's when she ran back inside and up to your room. There wasn't any audio out front though… I just saw all of that from the feed we got off the front porch cam."

"Wait, what?! She was going to throw a bolder at his car?! Badass!" Emmett yelped, earning himself a swift smack upside the head from Rose. "What? I'd pay good money to have seen that! I've always had a bad feeling about that guy."

"She didn't do it though. Paul talked her down." Jasper repeated with a shake of his head. "But dude, what were you thinking letting Vic be all over you upstairs like that… after Bella had first run off? Not the best idea."

"I wasn't thinking. I was on damn auto-pilot, and honestly I wasn't even paying her much attention. I don't even remember her coming in and sitting down beside me." I quietly answered, avoiding their eyes.

"Poor Bella." Alice whispered then leaned her head against Jasper's shoulder.

I looked up and narrowed my eyes at them, "Let's not forget I had a reason to blow up on her, okay? I saw her… I watched while she moaned and smiled... laying there naked, their mouths and hands all over her,"

"Okay Edward. We know. She messed up. I'm sure she regrets it, just like I'm sure you regret losing your temper on her. Everyone makes mistakes. Bella especially. Let's all stop for a second and remember that day, and how hard that entire weekend was for her. She was dealing with a lot of bullshit. She tried to control things the only way she knew how." James spoke up interrupting me in order to prevent me from remembering the images I had seen on Demetri's phone.

"Yeah well, I can't just erase it all and carry on as if it never happened." I forcefully grumbled.

"So then… you guys are really… _over_?" Alice asked with a soft whimper. I didn't know how to answer her question so I just sat there silently while I stared down at my hands.

"I think Edward needs some time with all of this. Nothing needs to be decided tonight." James spoke up, once again being the reasonable voice in the room. I nodded my head agreeing with him then stood up and rubbed my hand nervously through my hair.

"My head feels like its about to explode. I'm going to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning."

I didn't wait for them to say goodnight. I needed to get away. A part of me wanted to grab my board and head over to the school, but I knew that was a bad idea. Given my history, it just didn't seem like a wise thing to do.

Once laying in my bed with darkness surrounding me I felt my fist clench at my side seeing Bella's tormented face in my memory. The tears streaming down her cheeks. The looks of panic, heartbreak and disappointment.

So much had happen, so fast. We'd made so much progress and we had come so far but all it had taken was a seven minute moment from Bella's past, and five minutes of me being stupid in a parking lot, to fuck it all up.

If that was all it had taken, though, then how could we ever have a chance outside of here?

The realization that Bella could possibly have been right all along about our future being doomed from the beginning… it was now staring me straight in the face. She'd warned me. From the very moment things had started to get serious, she had warned me that we would never make it out of here without someone getting hurt.

It seemed she was only partially right though because I knew she had to be hurting just as badly as I was. That we were both on separate ends of town feeling lost, shattered, and broken.

That still didn't make it any better though.

Unfortunately, it only made things that much worse.

* * *

"Edward. Wake up." a voice shook me from my sleep. I opened my eyes to find James' kneeling beside my bed.

"What is it?" I asked after sitting up to rub my eyes with my hands. I flinched at the pain that pulsed from my right knuckle that was still wrapped up in a towel with one of Bella's old hair bands twisted around it to keep it in place.

"She's here."

I brought my throbbing hand to my chest with a grimace and let out a quiet moan, "Fuck that hurts. Who's here?"

"Bella. She came to meet with the producers. She's upstairs right now in the confessional room with them."

I was so confused, "Talking to them about what? What time is it?"

"It's just after twelve. I would assume they're talking about whether or not she's staying till the end of the show." I looked at James and felt my heart instantly plummet over the thought of her actually leaving, and me never seeing her again.

My hand wasn't hurting so bad anymore. The pain in my chest had rapidly taken over.

"Your expression, Edward, it would tell me that you don't want to see her go."

I frowned and fell back against my pillow, "I still don't know what I want."

"Well you two should at least talk. She asked if you were here."

"Where the hell else would I be?" I was already feeling annoyed.

"My guess? In a bed across town with your red headed best friend whose ass she thoroughly kicked last night after she caught her trying to straddle your body in her bed. The guys are all out front waiting for her. So I don't think she's planning on sticking around after her meeting."

I looked at him, feeling panic surround me. I wasn't ready for this. Not at all. I still didn't have the right words and I knew one wrong sentence would ultimately put her on a plane back to Oregon.

_Fucking Oregon. Who the fuck lives in Oregon?_

"Alright. Let me get dressed." I muttered shaking my injured hand out at my side before waving him away with it.

"Be gentle. This isn't a, rip the band-aid off, kind of situation." James reminded me then slapped his hand down onto my shoulder before standing up to leave me alone in the large empty room. I let out a frustrated huff and slapped my face a few times to help alert my senses. My head was pounding thanks to the awesome hang over that had apparently decided to become my BFF for the day.

"Best morning ever." I mumbled then forced myself up off the bed to walk my body to the dresser so I could throw on a t-shirt and pair of shorts. I smoothed my hair back with my fingers and took in a deep breath before pulling the towel from my swollen hand to examine the injury I'd forced upon myself. I glanced over at the bathroom door that now had a nice size hole through it and let out a loud frustrated huff.

My fingers and knuckles were black and blue with dried blood sprayed across the mounds of my joints. I grimaced at the sight and tried to extend and flex my digits but ultimately discovered it was impossible to do without crying out in pain.

"Super."

I'd obviously broken my hand which meant I'd have no choice but to visit the ER after having what I knew would be a super duper conversation with Bella.

I let out another brash huff and crossed through the beaded curtain to head up to the next floor where the confessional room was located.

Once at the top of the stairs I took a seat on the steps outside the attic door and waited with my forehead pressed against my knees. Only a few minutes had passed when I heard the door creak open followed by Bella's soft voice thanking the people inside. I turned and looked up then felt my heart twist itself into knots at the sight of her sunken in, blood shot eyes after they'd looked down into mine for only a brief second. She instantly stopped and took in a deep breath before reaching up to latch onto her dreads that were bunched up in front of her shoulder.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be here." she quietly admitted after leaning backwards against the wall behind her.

"Yeah well. I kind of live here. At least for another few weeks. What about you?"

"I just figured you would be out with your friends, since it's their last day here and all. I know you guys talked about going to the skate park today."

It seemed ridiculous that we were really doing this. Pretending like this was just a regular conversation shared between two regular people on any regular day, but I went along with it anyways.

"I'm suppose to call them later. I just got up actually." I replied watching her nervously twirl and tug at the largest dread she had pulled from the bunch in front of her.

"Gotch'a. Well… we're taking a drive up the coast today. Me and the guys. They're amazed by how different the beach looks here." she softly shared still looking down at her feet. She was trying desperately to avoid eye contact with me. That was painfully obvious and it was also eating away at me.

A part of me wanted to stand up and take her into my arms. Hug her and tell her none of it mattered, and that I was sorry for everything I'd said last night.

That would have been a lie though. It just wasn't that easy. Unfortunately, some of it did matter, and I wasn't entirely sorry for everything I had said.

"So then, are you," I started to ask if she would be coming back but she quickly interrupted me.

"I'm taking a few days off. I already talked to Esme, and the show is being cool. They actually want to talk to you. I was suppose to tell someone to let you know. When I come back, they suggested I room with someone else. It's just a few more weeks. We can stay out of each others way till then," she took in another trembling breath and cleared her throat, "What I'm saying is, I can stay out of your way, if that's what you want. I think that's why they need to talk to you… to make sure you're okay with me staying. Since I attacked your _friend_ and all. They won't let me out of my contract, though, unless you demand I not be allowed back."

Words escaped me. I didn't know how to feel about the news she had just shared with me. She was staying, but not saying she _wanted_ to stay. She wasn't permanently leaving the house though. This was good. I'd still get to see her, we could still try and work things out, but the way she was talking, it sounded like… like she'd made up her mind that we really had nothing left to fight for, and the only reason she was choosing to stick around was to fulfill her obligation with the show. Not for me… not out of hope that we could salvage our relationship.

"Do you want to go? Do you want me to tell them I'm not okay with you staying?" I finally asked. I heard her take in another hard trembling breath between her lips while she obviously thought over her response to my question.

"To be totally honest… I still don't know what I want. I just know that if you'd rather I not be here, then I won't force you to have to see my face. If that's still the case, If you still don't want me here, just tell me now and I'll get the rest of my stuff and be gone for ever."

The word _'still'_ rung in my head. I quickly realized she was referring to my demand when I'd told her friends to get her out of the house last night.

"It was wrong for me to tell them to take you away. I shouldn't have done that. This was, this _is _your home." She flinched at my words and slowly shrugged her shoulders trying her best to act as if she couldn't have cared less. "I don't want you to go, Bella." I finally got out. She instantly looked up into my eyes and narrowed her own in my direction while her hands pulled nervously at the back of her neck. "I said a lot of things last night that I regret. I should have listened to you. I had no business pressing that goddamn button."

"I-I can't talk to you about this right now. I need to go fix my head first. Everything's so fucked up… I need to figure it all out. Everything happens for a reason. I need to figure out why it all happened. Why I _let_ it happen." She whispered looking away from me and up towards the ceiling. "You had every right to do and say what you did, and to react the way you did. I, I have to go now. I just can't do this with you. Not yet. Not right now." She instantly pushed her self away from the wall and turned to leave me on the stairs.

I reached out without thinking and grabbed her by the wrist then stood up to look her in the eyes. "What about us. What happens now?" I nervously asked. I was terrified of what her answer might be, even though I had no idea what I wanted her to say, or even how I felt about there being a chance for us to still have a future together.

She said nothing though, she only shook her head while still avoiding my eyes, so I asked again, "Bella, you have to give me something. Anything. You can't just disappear for a few days then come back and act like nothing ever happened."

"I don't expect to come back and act like nothing ever happened Edward!" she yelled, then forcefully pulling her arm from my grasp. "Obviously something happened. I wouldn't be wanting to go jump off a goddamn cliff to end my miserable life if nothing had happened!"

The conversation had instantly taken a turn for the worst and I quickly realized it was because I'd reached out and touched her. She was still holding the spot where my hand had grabbed at her wrist, and now there were obvious tears swelling up in her eyes. "_Please_. Please don't touch me. It makes it all so much harder. To feel you. On my skin." she whispered then impulsively looked down towards the bottom of the stairs where a few of our housemates had appeared after her random brash of words. "I can see it in your eyes. I've changed. In your eyes, I'm not the same girl. Not anymore. I don't blame you though. I really don't. I only blame myself, and my weaknesses. This is absolutely what I deserve. It's what I always knew would happen." she got out between her soft sobs. She rubbed the back of her hand under her nose then the palms of her hands across her closed eyes. "I'll see you in a few days, Edward. You do whatever you need to do, to help you forget everything I've put you through, and I'll do the same."

Those were her last words to me before she took off down the stairs towards the front door. She left me standing there without giving me any kind of real answers or closure.

I'd never felt more confused or annoyed in my entire life.

"God dammit why did I have to let myself get so wrapped up in this bull shit?! Why didn't I just listen to all of your warnings at the very beginning?! I'm so sick of you always running away, Bella! I can't believe you're doing this again!" I yelled down the stairs after her. She stopped for a moment in the doorway, after hearing my words, but she didn't turn around. I found myself holding my breath, praying she would turn to look up at me and give me some kind of a sign. Something that would tell me there was still a chance... That we could still some how find our way back to each other.

She didn't turn around, but I heard her let out a loud sob then watched as she raised her hands to her chest, "I'm sorry. I need to figure out why I let it happen." she finally cried out, then instantly continued past the opened door where I knew her friends were outside waiting for her.

* * *

**A/N: *Heavy sigh* I told you the angst was going to last a little while longer. They couldn't just hug and make up that easily. Time heals all wounds though. Right?**

**At least Vic finally got what was coming to her. **

**Will Bella find her way back to Edward or will she to turn to Paul (or someone else) again? What will it take to make her see clearly and accept she can't keep running from herself when things stray off course? And when/if she does, will it be too late? **

**My BIG question... Bella stated two times in this chapter (while talking to Edward) that she needs to figure out "why" she let _something_ happen. What do you think she's referring to? -I always love hearing what you think is going on in her head... and the answer will be given in the outtake I send out as a response to your review. *wink***

****All reviews will be replied to and will receive an outtake from BPOV during this last moment on the stairs.****

**Big hugs and thanks to my awesome beta, Riss! xoxoxox! **

**A forewarning. It may be a little longer than a week for the next update. My own RL served me a dish of crap-0-la this weekend so my writing time is being cut back for the next few weeks. Next chapter is 90% finished though, its just a matter of edits and beta work then finding the time to upload and post. I promise to update ASAP… and there will be positive progress between these two in the next chapter. Pinky swear.**

**Till next time!**


	24. Sink Or Swim

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: Sorry for the longer than usual wait for this update. RL gave us an unexpected houseguest for the last two weeks, and it took a lot of my free (writing/editing) time away. Things are thankfully back to normal though. Anyways... This chapter starts out a bit heavy but then you'll get some breathing room. Prepare for a slight WTF moment and remember, anyone and everyone can be capable of surprising you sometimes. Big thanks to my beta, Riss! Love you bb!**

**Now on with the show.**

* * *

**Sink Or Swim**

**Chapter 24**

**~Bella~**

After my run in with Edward at the house, the guys thankfully suggested we skip our mini road trip and instead just take it easy on the beach out behind our hotel. I'd spent almost the entire day with my friends, sitting in the sand playing music, writing down lyrics in my notebook, and occasionally staring off into nothingness while wishing desperately that someone would just take me to a bar or liquor store. They had all refused though. They'd insisted I not fall back and crumble with a bottle in my hand… that I instead face things head on, for the first time in a very long time, completely sober.

I'd promised to give them twenty-four hours of sobriety.

Mainly because today was their last day here. I really wanted them to be able to leave me tomorrow feeling a little bit better about me staying behind without them.

It still didn't seem fair though.

They knew what I wanted most right now was the opportunity to numb my hypersensitivity to all of the bullshit emotions that had decided to bombard me.

_Assholes._

I'd absolutely expected to wake up in Jake's arms earlier this morning feeling a little less broken, but instead I'd woken up with tears streaming down my face and the inability to catch my breath. It had taken them almost twenty minutes to get me to calm down.

It just didn't make sense.

Why couldn't I just let it all go? Why couldn't I let _him_ go? Why did I let it all happen when I'd known from the very beginning that we'd never have a legitimate chance? Why the hell did I open my heart in the first place… allowing myself to feel all of these debilitating emotions when I'd always known something like this would have the ability to absolutely destroy someone like me?

I was starting to feel like a damn toddler pestering my parent of a demented brain with all of my _why _questions. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why does the sun rise in the east, and set in the west?

Why wasn't I honest with him about what had happened the night before I'd agreed to be his girlfriend?

Why did I have to let him fall in love with me?

Why did I have to fall in love with him?

_Why? Why? Why? _

I took in a deep breath and held my hands to my chest, pressing as hard as I could against my sternum, willing my heart to stop beating, wishing my lungs would take their last breath and put me out of my misery. I saw lightning bolts fall from the night sky in a far distance out over the ocean. I prayed to the God I'd never believed in so that he might send one of those bolts of electricity towards my balcony to help end it all in a way everyone would have to except as fate.

After being forced to look into Edwards painfully disappointed eyes… seeing his broken expression...

After being caught completely off guard, finding him waiting for me on the stairs… I'd instantly re-lived the scene my friends had escorted from the night before. All of those emotions I'd felt, they'd all come rushing back like the angry waves crashing onto the beaches shore down below me.

When he'd reached out to grab my wrist with his hand… after he'd forced me to look him in the eyes upon hearing his words… his touch… his stare.

There was no denying the fact that I was no longer the same girl he believed he had fallen in love with. I could see that in his eyes, and I could feel it in his touch. In that moment, it was a miracle I'd managed to get myself down the stairs and out the front door without crumbling to the floor.

I hiccupped back a random sob that forced itself past my lips and leaned deeper into the chair I'd pulled out to the balcony from my room. I was hugging my knees to my chest with a cigarette hanging from my hand when the guys all wandered out to join me. I didn't bother looking up because I knew what I would find, and I couldn't deal with seeing their own disappointed and concerned expressions.

Sam cleared his throat nervously and extended a brown paper bag towards me, "You need to eat something for us Bella. If you want the booze, when the clock strikes midnight, you have to first put something into your stomach." he insisted then handed me the bag of fast food he was still holding.

"Or what? I'll turn into a shriveled up pumpkin?" I scoffed. The smell alone was already making me nauseous. The thought of opening the bag and holding whatever was inside of it, in my actual hand… I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I shook my head at him and dropped the bag at my feet. "I'm not eating some garbage you got from Burger King."

"They have veggie burgers now, Bells. Delicious." Paul replied with a smirk, trying to make me smile.

"Funny. I'm seriously not eating that though. Sorry." I crossed my arms in front of me and looked past them into the dark night where I could still hear the waves crashing up onto the shore down below us.

"Suit yourself. I'll take this bottle of vodka back to our room then too. Goodnight Bella. I'll see you in the morning." I watched, glaring as Sam walked back inside taking the smaller brown paper bag he had kept in his hand with him.

The bag that obviously held what I wanted and needed most.

"He's acting like I don't have two legs or the will to call a taxi to take me to a damn liquor store." I mumbled once he was gone.

"Yeah well… he had to try. He knows you'll do what you want, he's not stupid. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. We're all getting nervous about leaving you tomorrow. If you don't pull yourself a little further out of this funk, we're just not going to be comfortable with leaving you behind, Bella." Jake spoke up after kneeling beside me to brush the tears of frustration from my face.

"I'll be fine. I'm just not hungry today."

Both Paul and Jake snorted aloud together in unison then chuckled sarcastically. "Right, today." they replied at the same time.

I turned to give them a warning glare then quickly noticed their own tormented faces. I hated that I was forcing them to worry, but it still wasn't enough to snap me out of my own self destructive ways.

"Maybe you can talk some sense into her." Jake mumbled to Paul then turned to head back inside where Embry had also disappeared a few seconds ago after Sam had stormed off. I glanced at my one remaining best friend out of the corner of my eye and let out an exasperated sigh.

"You've been in love before. You've had your heart torn from your chest. How long will this shit last?" I asked after pressing my face into my knees.

He let out a huff and repositioned himself behind me to begin rubbing at my shoulders. "I wish I could tell you. It does get easier though. I mean, it will get easier. I won't lie, Bells. When you go back to the house… when you see him again… it's all going to come at you totally fresh again. That's why I think the sooner you can find the strength to go back… the better off you'll be. Why bother starting to heal, when you'll be right back at the starting line again once you're face to face with him?"

I considered what he was saying for a few seconds then shook my head forcefully, "So now you think I should come home? That I won't be able to do this? Make up your mind, Paul! You're the one who told me I could do anything. You're the one who pushed for me to see this through."

"You can, and you should absolutely stay. I'm not saying you should run home and never look back. We're proud of you for not giving up and for wanting to see things through till the end, no matter how hard we know it's going to be for you. We want you to _realize_, though, that it will be hard, and it's probably only going to get harder before it gets better. When we're gone, you're going to have to stay strong all on your own. We need to know you'll be ready for that before we leave you tomorrow."

"Right. No one will be here to Bella-sit. I'll once again be on my own. _Alone_. I'm predominantly aware of that." I mumbled with a heavy sigh following my words.

"It's been almost twenty-four hours since your last drink. That's monumental during a time like this. Now we just need to get you eating again, and then we'll feel better about getting on that plane." Paul replied pushing a little too hard, too soon.

I let out a frustrated grunt and stood up instantly removing his hands from my shoulders, "You can leave now. You all seem to have forgotten that I left home to get away from your pestering about when, what, and how much I eat. Eating is the LEAST of my problems right now. Why can't you all just DROP it?! Please. Just get out."

He frowned and reluctantly nodded his head one time, understanding that it would be impossible for me to really hear anything else he had left to say. I forcefully pushed past him to go into my room then told Jake and Embry I was going to bed and that they needed to leave immediately. They looked at each other a bit stunned, but once Paul came in behind me they seemed to understand what had happened without me having to explain it to them.

"Alright. We'll see you in the morning. Room service is open for another hour. Just in case." Jake softly replied then walked over to give me a firm hug. I rolled my eyes but hugged him back then followed them all towards the door.

"I'm sorry our last day together had to be like this." I told them with a heavy sigh, wishing I could just give them what they wanted and not be so damn stubborn. It wasn't that easy though. Nothing was ever that easy. Not for me.

They stared back at me, but said nothing.

I took that as their silent agreement. It was their way of telling me just how disappointed they were that I'd decided to push them away in our final hours together. I couldn't change who I was though, or how I dealt with it all. All I needed was time. I didn't think it was too much to ask for. It wasn't my fault that they were leaving tomorrow, and I wouldn't force myself to do anything before I was ready.

They needed to accept that, or get out of the way. This was nothing new, and it should have been absolutely expected.

* * *

I'd lost track of the time, but after looking at the clock on the nightstand I saw that it was almost two thirty in the morning. I had zero ambition to sleep. Especially since I was still one hundred percent sober, thanks to Sam, and my desire to show my friends I could make it a full twenty-four hours, and then some.

My twenty-four hours were more than up though.

All I needed now was three solid shots of something, anything. I didn't even care at this point, but without it, I knew I'd never get any sleep.

I also needed a new lighter since I'd apparently misplaced my own somewhere in my pig sty of a room. It was slightly impressive how one girl with one small bag could make such a huge mess in such a short amount of time, but I'd certainly managed to do so.

It didn't help that I'd taken multiple showers and baths, which had caused me to create a nice pile of damp towels in the corner of the room. I'd also taken short naps in both beds and created a fairly unique water bottle pyramid on the table beside the window. This place was an absolute disaster but I still felt completely at home with my disheveled erratic surroundings.

No matter how many times I showered or soaked myself in water, I still couldn't scrub the filth I felt when I'd close my eyes to instantly relive the scene I'd observed on Demetri's phone just twenty-four hours ago.

Before walking away from Edward this afternoon, I had made up my mind. I wouldn't let myself go back to the house until I'd figured out why I'd let it all happen.

Until I had answers, I just couldn't trust myself with him, or the feelings he seemed to pull out of me. Edward had pleaded with me not to go, but I'd still left anyways. I'd left him behind so that I might be able to find the strength I needed in order to believe in myself… believe in _us_ once again.

Tomorrow I would have to say goodbye to my friends, and as much as they'd pissed me off tonight, I was still dreading that trip to the airport. They'd made it clear earlier that they couldn't, and wouldn't stay any longer. The reminder of that conversation on the beach had me instantly tugging on my dreads that had fallen in front of my shoulder.

Me throwing the guys out tonight wasn't so much an act of avoidance, as it was a trial run for things to come. I'd had twenty-four hours away from the house, minus the thirty minutes I had gone back for my meeting with the shows producers.

Almost Twenty-four full hours without Edward's loving touch and longing looks.

Twenty-four hours of feeling just how devastatingly broken I really was, but I'd also had my friends around to help keep me as grounded as possible.

I needed to find out what would happen once they were away, and I was left alone with all my paralyzing thoughts attacking me from every angle without any censorship or distraction.

Throughout the day I'd slowly started to believe that there was a small part of me that despised Edward.

I hated him for letting me… _no_… for forcing me to fall in love with him.

I hated him even more for falling in love with me.

I especially hated him for failing his mission to rescue me, no matter how bad the storm got.

So many words. So many promises. He'd gone back and taken all of it away without even taking a second to breathe or really listen to what I had to say. In my worst moment he'd pushed me away without hearing my side… just like my grandfather had done so many years ago.

What made all of this so unbearably hard, though, was that a huge part of me still loved him more than I'd ever imagined I would allow myself to love another human being.

That realization, however, had sent me even deeper into depression, because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't accept that he would ever be able to look at me or love me the same way again.

After getting back to the hotel, I'd almost called the house. Several times. I just wanted to hear his voice. I'd stayed strong though and instead scribbled lyrics down in my notebook.

My thoughts had been relentlessly battling Vic scenarios in the back of my head all day. Even though I knew they were all supposed to have left by now, I couldn't help but wonder if she'd stick around. Especially after I'd made it a point to disappear, leaving Edward so obviously broken and in desperate need of repair.

I knew she would be first in line to perform hypothetical surgery on his exposed heart which I had so callously crushed with my impulsive behavior.

I stood up from the corner of the room where I'd been sitting on the floor making abstract art with my water bottle tops and slowly made my way to the phone on the nightstand between the two beds. After dialing down to the front desk, I asked if it would be possible to have a lighter sent up to my room as well as a bottle of hard liquor. Upon hanging up the phone I fell backwards onto the bed with a loud frustrated huff.

I'd gone long enough. I'd made it longer than twenty-four hours without bringing an alcoholic beverage to my lips and that was good enough for me. Even sober, I was still unable to make up my mind on what I wanted or needed to do next. All that my sobriety was doing for me at the moment was making it ridiculously hard to go to sleep and rest both my head, and my burning blood shot eyes.

I stared up at the ceiling and began letting my mind wander. After closing my eyes for only a moment, I saw Edwards tormented face and immediately sat up to pinch my upper thigh as hard as I could. I twisted the skin between the tips of my index finger and thumb till I saw the blood vessels burst beneath my finger tips. I let out a quiet yelp as the piercing pain traveled across my upper leg and took in a quivering deep breath.

Jake would be furious if he saw all the bruises I'd secretly bestowed upon myself throughout the day, but I figured it was better than taking a razor to my arm or thigh.

Not to end it all… just to void some of the eternal pain a little more, _externally_.

There was a soft knock at the door and I quickly sprang to my feet. I was anxious to light another cigarette at my lips, but I was even more desperate to take a few shots of my favorite kind of bedtime medicine to the back of my tongue.

I felt my jaw drop almost instantly when I opened the door to find Aro standing there with a nervous grin on his face.

"What the fuck are you doing here, you goddamn piece of shit?!" I yelped, forcefully shoving his chest with both of my hands as hard as I could.

"Bella! Relax. I just want to talk. Please. Give me five minutes." he requested holding my fists tightly in his hands in order to keep me from hitting him again.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say. How the hell did you find me?"

"I obviously know a lot of people in this town. You should have known better than to think you could actually hide from me. I mean you're just a few blocks from the damn bar. Now quiet down. It's late. We don't need to wake up the entire floor. Just hear me out. Please? I had no idea Demetri did what he did. NO idea. I swear on my mother's grave. That was ALL him!"

I looked up into his eyes and easily saw desperation on his face. It was obvious he was being honest with me. It didn't change anything though. I was still livid. He never should have put me in that position. He knew I'd been drinking all day. He knew I was fucked up, but he'd still attempted to take advantage of me, and for that fact alone, I wanted to kick him in the balls. Multiple times.

"When I found out, I almost killed Dem. I mean it. I beat the shit out of him, threw him to the ground, and told him to leave town or I'd put him in the hospital."

I looked up at him again, feeling shocked by what he'd just told me. "You really had no idea? None at all?"

"None at all, Bella. I swear to you. He didn't tell me anything 'til last night after Tanya found it on his phone and you guys had it out at the house. He came back to the bar and told me everything. When he was finished I'd instantly knocked him on his ass. I can be a dick, and yes I used my own phone to record you with Tanya that one night, but I never tried to hide that. I'd never do what Demetri did. You have to believe me."

I let out a huff and slowly relaxed my arms allowing Aro to release his grip on my hands. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black lighter and a small flask then extended it out towards me. "I believe you called downstairs looking for this?" I couldn't help but smirk. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you seriously look like shit, Bella."

"Gee. Thanks. Come on in, jerk face. Share a smoke with me before I send you on your way." I hesitantly replied then used my foot to push the door further open for him. He smiled and nodded his head before running his hand nervously through his hair. It wasn't like him to look so jittery. Aro normally seemed very calm, cool, and collected. I could tell him coming here like this went completely against everything he stood for, so I had to appreciate his effort just a little.

I lit my cigarette at my lips and took a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the opened window, then tossed him the lighter after exhaling the light smoke from between my lips.

"It's cool to smoke inside?" he asked sounding surprised after I'd tilted the flask back at my lips to take three solid gulps.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and smirked, "According to the hotel? No. Now ask me if I care? Besides, since when do you follow rules anyways?" I asked as I leaned over to ash into the empty Diet Coke can on the night stand beside the bed.

"Well. I've always followed _your _rules." he instantly toyed winking at me.

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head agreeing with him, "Not that it did me any good."

"Look, Bella. I didn't come here to try and get in your pants. I mean if you decide you want that, I'm totally game, but I really just came here to say I'm sorry. Since the day I met you I could tell you were someone special. You have a good heart. A more than slightly fucked up outlook on life, but a good heart. What Demetri did was unforgivable. I just don't want you leaving here thinking I was a part of that. Granted, I can be a douche bag, but I'm not that low on the totem pole. You didn't deserve that… what he did, and Tanya should have kept her overly active mouth shut. I mean Jesus, she was sucking my cock an hour before Demetri asked her to be his damn girlfriend. She had no right to go after you the way she did."

I choked on the smoke I'd just pulled into my lungs and lurched my body forward in front of me. "I'm sorry _what_ did you just say about your cock?!"

"Well, if you really want the details," he started to explain with a grimace on his face, "the girl gives the worst head ever. I mean I was totally expecting something out of this world the way Dem talked about her, but I've gotten better blow jobs from virgins with braces on their teeth."

"Oh my God. Shut the hell up! She did not! And she had the gall to talk shit and point her finger at me after having your dick in her mouth an hour before becoming Dem's one and only?!" I was ready to call a cab and hunt my female roommate down. "And dude, seriously? Your best friend's favorite fuck buddy? Wow. You really can be a douche."

He shrugged innocently and leaned back in the chair in front of me, "I didn't know he was going to ask her to go steady. Fucking moron. I honestly don't know who he's kidding. She's so not worth the effort, and she's obviously just a gold digger with one thing on her mind. Not to mention my dick's still bruised from her teeth and Hulk like grip."

I couldn't help but laugh. To hear Tanya had sucked off Aro right before declaring her loyalty to Demetri, then to have her discover our near sex tape on his phone and go on a rampage… it was literally too much for me to even comprehend.

"I need another sip from that." I mumbled holding my opened hand out towards him. He nodded and tossed the flask over to me then let out a forced breath.

"Fucking, Tanya. Reigning Queen of Hypocrisy."

"True story." I mumbled in reply, then quickly picked up Jane to drape her in my lap after I'd taken a seat on the bed again. "It's too bad you didn't get _that _on _your_ hand-dandy phone cam. I'd love to rub her pretty little face in it."

He laughed and nodded his head. "I could have started a blog on, 'What not to do when you have a dick in your mouth'. I'm not joking Bella. There was a moment when I feared for the life of my penis."

I laughed again and briskly strummed my guitars strings then pulled out a pick from the pocket of my hoodie.

"I finally finished the lyrics to the song today." I impulsively shared with him, without looking up.

"Edwards song?"

Now I was looking up, "How did you," I started to ask, but he quickly interrupted me.

"Babe, your obsession has been clear since the first time I saw you both together in my bar. I won't lie. It's initially what forced me to make you my mission. I had to try and win you over from him, but the deeper we got, the more obvious it became. I never had a chance. I was only helping you hide from the inevitable."

I glared in his direction for a moment while his words sunk in. "Yeah, well, I wish you would have tried a little harder. Maybe then I wouldn't be feeling as though I'm being pulled under water repeatedly, unable to catch my goddamn breath."

He chuckled lightly and shrugged his shoulders. "I gave it my best shot, believe me. None of it mattered. If Edward knows what's good for him, Bella, he'll forgive you. Truthfully there's nothing to be mad at. Nothing happened that night. I'm sure once he sobered up he must have realized that."

"Oh shit happened, Aro. I may have done a good job at blocking it from my memory, but Demetri's little video definitely brought it all back. I fucked up bad that night. The worst part is, if I'd only been honest about it, if I'd just told him, before… before I'd… I'd… I don't know. Maybe we'd still be okay. It's too late though. The damage is done."

"So then… he really? I mean, he seriously ended it?" I couldn't help but notice the hopeful tone in his voice paired with his question.

"No. We're definitely on pause though. I left before we could really talk. He wanted to talk… he pushed me to… I just wasn't ready. He said so much. I did so much. I hurt him so badly, and his words… his broken stare… it all tore right through me. I've experienced a lot of fucked up shit in my life, but none of it ever left me feeling like this." I shared, shaking my head while I looked down at my hands as they anxiously twisted and pulled at my fingers. "Some things are unforgivable. Seeing your girlfriend with another guys head between her legs while she holds a second guys dick in her hands close to her lips… yeah… I'd chalk that up into the, 'there's no going back', category."

"But you stopped it. That has to count for something. Maybe I should go talk to him?"

"What?! NO! That would NOT be a good idea. If things were bad before between you two before… they're a million times worse now." I insisted feeling my stress rise over the thought of his suggestion.

"Yeah. You're probably right. He needs a few more days to simmer down before he sees my face again."

"It wouldn't matter anyways. I crossed the line just far enough." I replied with a huff then took another drag from my cigarette. "What's done is done. I messed up. Now I have to live with it. I shouldn't have let myself become so trusting. I shouldn't have let my guard down. It was my fault."

"Demetri is a tool. He acts first, and thinks later. He's never considered the long term effect's of his actions. You can't blame yourself."

"Oh, I don't. I absolutely blame the two of you as well. I just shouldn't have been so weak." I replied then swiftly leaned over to drop the remainder of my cigarette butt into the empty can on the night stand. I rubbed my palms up and down my thighs then fell backwards onto the bed closing my eyes. "Maybe I should just let you fuck me. Right here. Right now. Disconnected sex has always been my cure all. Maybe that's all I need. I'm sure you could get the job done. Perhaps then some of this bullshit would go away. Even if only temporarily." I whispered lightly, then heard an instant cough from Aro where he still sat in his chair across the room.

"You wouldn't have to ask me twice, Bella."

I laughed at his honest response and sat myself up to look him in the eyes, "Unfortunately, it's not that easy for me anymore. It pisses me off beyond belief, but it's the truth, and I hate him so much for it. He's ruined the girl I once was. I just don't understand why it was all so easy for him to do, but at the same time I don't understand why it's so hard for me to just give up and walk away. Why did I have to let myself fall for him when for years I'd been so successful at running from this kind of shit? What makes him so different from every other man that's come into my life? WHY does he have to be so goddamn special?!"

Aro smirked and shook his head, "I think you know the answer, Bella. It's because _he's_ your cure all now. Nothing else… no one else can even compare to what they two of you have found in each other." I glared at him and shook my own head not wanting to believe he could actually be correct with his assessment. "Look, I'm just glad you forgive me. I realize you'll be gone soon, and all I'll be left with are memories, but they're memories that will always be at the top of my list. You're special Bella. Like, once in a lifetime kind of special. You and Edward both need to pull your heads from your asses and accept that you both have a past… and you both come with baggage… but that doesn't mean the two of you can't have a future together."

I slowly looked back up at him and forced a smile, "You're kind of adorable when you're being all sincere, and shit, Volturi."

"What can I say? I have my moments."

"I always knew there was a good guy in you. I'm usually pretty good at judging a person's character… which I guess is why my poor judgment in Demetri has severely knocked me on my own ass."

"If it makes you feel any better, his arrogance and selfishness happens to be his calling card. He's just always been a pro at initially masking it." Aro shared then slowly stood up from his seat. "I'm willing to bet Edwards already realized he made a mistake letting you leave last night. You're not someone a person can just give up on and walk away from. You're someone who needs to be picked up, taken care of, and fought for… no matter how hard you might fight it, or insist it goes against the grain, it's the truth. Edward will wise up to that. If he doesn't though, I mean it, you sure as hell better come find me. My biggest regret in life, at the moment, is that I never got to experience all of Bella Swan, in her uncensored entirety." he teased, earning an instant elbow to his ribs after he'd taken a seat beside me.

Aro laughed and pulled me against him for a hug. "You have to fight for what you want in life. You more than anyone should know that, Bella. Opening yourself up entirely to someone, that doesn't come easy for people like us. If it did come easy, then it just wouldn't be worth the ride. Believe me. Weathering a storm, and coming out the other side still standing, still breathing… Feeling beaten and battered, but also still feeling something that pulls you towards the person who caused all the waves and all the chaos… It means something. You need to stop fighting it, and just accept it."

I smiled, understanding what he was saying, and nodded my head. "Thanks Aro. For finding me and forcing me to listen. You're a good friend... when you want to be." I cleared before hugging him again tightly.

"Like I said, I have my moments, and I also think it helps that I have a different perspective from everyone else in your life." He whispered softly, hugging me back.

"Want to do me a favor?"

"Sure. Name it. I think I now owe you a lifetime of favors."

"Play me something till I fall asleep?" I asked then reached over to grab Jane so I could hand her over to him. Aro smiled and nodded his head while I shimmied my way under the covers and patted the spot beside me. "Just till I'm asleep. Then you can go."

"No problem. Any requests?"

"Something sad." I softly answered then pulled the comforter up around me and closed my eyes as the sounds of my guitar filled the room.

"Sad songs for a beautifully broken, but on the mend girl, coming right up," he teased leaning into me for a moment. I pressed my head against his shoulder, letting my body slowly relax, then scooted myself down so I could rest my head on the pillow and finally drift off to sleep.

For some reason, I was already feeling a little bit better.

A little less… fragile.

Stronger.

"Thanks again for finding me, Aro." I whispered not really expecting him to hear me over the music.

"Anytime, gorgeous. Anytime. Now go the fuck to sleep."

I smiled and nodded my head feeling desperate to give my dysfunctional mind a much needed break from my new found reality.

It was suddenly so obvious. I still needed time to process it all, and I still needed to figure out how I would take the next step without once again falling or worse, drowning in our own perfect storm. I was ready to fight for it though, and that was enough for me.

* * *

I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands after hearing a loud knock at the door.

"Shit. What time is it?!" a random voice yelped from the other bed beside mine.

"Aro! You were suppose to leave!"

_Great. Prepare to get scolded hardcore by your boys, Swan._

"I know. I must have fallen asleep. The last thing I remember is sitting down over here to put my shoes back on and check my email from my phone."

"Damn it, Aro."

"Listen, I was legitimately tired! I passed out. I'm sorry!" he replied defensively, before hiding a random laugh behind the palm of his hand.

"This isn't funny." I snickered and chucked a pillow at his head.

"At least now I can say I spent the night with you."

I stood up and smacked him in the arm as hard as I could then smoothed my hair back behind my shoulders, "They're going to give me so much shit for this."

"So what? You're not a kid, and we both know nothing happened."

"You should probably go now." I muttered ignoring him. I let out a frustrated grunt after another knock came from the door then hesitantly walked over to pull the chain from the lock.

When I pulled the door open all four of my friends stood there with smiles on their faces, until they saw I wasn't alone.

"Um… yeah." I mumbled. "Aro was just leaving." It wasn't even eight in the morning yet so there was no way they would think he'd just now stopped by to bring me coffee and the morning paper.

"What the hell Bella?!" Jake instantly shouted, his smile now completely absent from his face. "What is this asshole doing here?!"

"Oh relax, guard dog. Nothing happened. I came by to talk to her and we fell asleep. In different beds. Totally innocent. No new videos were made." Aro spoke up with a smirk after stepping beside me in the doorway. "I'll see you around, beautiful. You know where to find me. No more hiding." I forced a smile and nodded my head then watched him push past my friends to make his way to the elevators across the hall.

"Really Bella? _That_ guy?" Paul questioned with a disappointed look on his face.

"Nothing happened. I swear. Okay?" They avoided my eyes and instead looked back and forth silently between one another, as if sharing some kind of internal conversation I couldn't hear then sighed together in unison. "You all creep me out sometimes with that shit. Now come in so I can get dressed and brush my teeth. We only have a few hours before you need to get to the airport."

"We're not done talking about this." Jake firmly warned then brushed past me to go take a seat on the balcony. Paul and Embry followed him but Sam stayed back.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam. Really. Nothing happened. We only talked, and then I asked him to play some music on my guitar till I fell asleep. He ended up dozing off too. I woke up in this bed with all of my clothes on, and he woke up in that bed with all of his clothes on. The end."

"Alright. Get dressed." Sam softly ordered with a blank expression still on his face.

"You believe me right?"

"You've never lied to us before. Only kept things from us in the past. If something had happened… I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be saying a word right now. That's good enough for me."

"Gee. Thanks." I replied with an annoyed huff then grabbed an old plain black tee-shirt from my bag with a knee length red linen skirt. I quickly pulled the skirt past my ankles and up to my hips, then kicked my boxer shorts off to slide on the fresh pair of panties I'd also grabbed from my bag.

"Besides… it's your life Bella. You need to start learning, the choices you make, they will affect the path you're on, and who will be with you on that path. What if Edward had shown up to apologize this morning and found Aro here?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him so I could pull the shirt I'd slept in over my head, "Wow. Thanks dad. That's a pretty monstrous, 'what if'."

"Bella. There's a time and a place for tough love. I've decided this is the time and this is the place. We're all getting too old for these games. We're not teenagers anymore. You have to start making better choices in your life. Mature, grown up choices. I'm getting married in a few months. I can't keep doing this with you. You know I love you. We all do. You're one of the most important people in my life, but you need to stop being so damn weak. You have the strength to overcome all of the bullshit… ALL of it. Not just this crap, but all the stuff you've been running from since we were kids. I know you do. You just need to finally believe in yourself and take longer than five seconds to consider the repercussions of your actions. You have to stop doubting and then sabotaging everything that starts to seem good and legit in your life. You've got to learn that there's good and there's bad. We all face it, not just you. When the bad starts to pile up, that doesn't mean you run. It means you learn from it and you do better the next time. You don't just shut down and wait it out till you think everyone's moved on and forgotten. That's not how real life works."

I stared at him feeling stunned by the verbal assault he had just unleashed on me. "I'm sorry. I never meant to be such a burden on you. Do you really think I want to be like this? That it's that easy?" I finally got out after narrowing my eyes at him.

"Bella, that's not what he's saying." Paul's voice spoke up behind me. I spun around and crossed my arms in front of me.

"So you all feel the same way? That I'm on a mission to always sabotage anything good that might randomly wander into my life? Why did you all stay then? What's the point? Why did you even bother coming out here if all I am to you is a chore with an occasional perk at the end of the day? Just to keep your conscious' clear in case something did ever happen to me? Or has it always been purely for the sex? I mean that is the only thing I'm good for after all. Let's not kid ourselves."

"You've never been a burden, or a chore, and it's never been about the sex. We were all best friends before all that shit started! We just want you to get better." Embry forcefully replied from where he stood behind Paul. "Once and for all. _Better_. You don't run to us because you need us, Bells. You run to us because you're afraid of being alone and you know we would never push you away or turn our backs on you. No matter what you did, or what you do. We will always be there to pull you back up when you fall, but you need to start standing better and walking on your own."

I was at a loss for words and on the verge of losing it. I hesitantly turned my attention to Jake. I knew he was next in line for my apparent intervention. "Thoughts?" I asked, prompting him with a straight face as the tears began to well up in my eyes.

"We came out here to make sure you were doing okay, Bella. It's what we do. We make sure you're okay, and when you're not, we do whatever it takes to help you be okay again. What happened with your grandfather a few weeks ago, at the time, it was the worst thing you'd ever had to deal with, and we were justifiably worried. Now all this shit happened with Edward… you're back to not eating. It's like watching you wither away all over again, right in front of our eyes." Jake gently spoke up with apprehension in his tone.

"Jesus Christ! Are we really back to this again? I'll eat! Let's go. Where's the damn fat kid buffet? Let's go stuff our faces."

"And what? You'll managed to finish a grapefruit and half a glass of skim milk? It's going to take more than one meal, Bells." Paul replied with a raised brow. "We all know how good you've gotten at pretending."

I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the bed then waited for them to all sit down around me. "Please. Don't push me. I'm doing the best I can. It's barely been two days."

"Sorry. Your rules have been temporarily suspended. We'll do whatever it takes to keep you from hurting yourself any more than you already have," with Paul's last word his hand shot out to purposely slide my skirt up my thigh just enough to expose the dark purple and blue bruises I'd forced upon myself over the last day and a half. "_Jesus, Bella._" there was sadness in his tone but I ignored it and quickly brushed his hand away from my leg then pulled my skirt back down.

"You're doing that shit again too?! Look at her fucking leg, Sam!" Jake shouted standing up again with his fists clenched at his sides. "We can't leave her here! How the hell are we supposed to fly across the country and just leave her here like this?!" He shouted while throwing his hands up in the air.

"Look just stop. I do what I do to survive okay. There are far worst things,"

"Bella you've almost died on us… more than once." Paul brashly reminded me.

"Not from pinching myself." I snickered back then turned my body from their stares to look out the window. "I've been depressed, so I haven't been hungry, it has nothing to do with my eating disorder. It's called depression. Google it! I just don't want to eat at the moment… not out of the need to be in control. Out of heartache okay? I'm feeling better though. I'm starting to see things clearly again. I promise. I know what I want now. I just need to find the courage to really go after it. You're all right. I need to stop running. I have to make better choices. I'd already decided that before I'd even opened my damn eyes this morning."

The room remained quiet aside from the sound of Jake's feet pacing back and forth beside the bed I was still sitting on. It was obvious they were having a difficult time believing my words.

"I want to do better. I'm determined to do better. I swear." I added before looking up to scan their faces.

"So what you're saying is… you spent the night with the asshole who caused all of this, and POOF, now you're all fixed? _He_ made it that easy for you?" Jake finally asked.

"For the last time, we did NOT fuck. I didn't even kiss him. Paul and I did a lot more in the damn bathroom the other night!" I spat out then instantly covered my mouth after realizing I'd said more than I should have in front of everyone.

"Oh nice." Jake muttered, throwing Paul a pissed off glare.

"Bro, she came at me. I let my guard down for a second then told her no." Paul insisted looking at our friend and waving his arms out defensively.

"He did. He totally shot me down, and I absolutely appreciate that now." I let out a loud sigh and again fell backwards on the bed to stare up at the ceiling I'd come to know so well. "I know you're right. I'm not an idiot. It's just hard. But I do want to try again. I want my do-over. I need it, but I also need a few more days away from that house and those cameras. I still need to accept it all as fact. I still need more time to find a way to really believe and accept there's still a chance for me to have everything I thought I never wanted."

"Alright fine. Take however much time you need. You know we love you, Bella. All we want is for you to be okay." Paul spoke up.

"I know you do. I'm going to be okay. I'm sorry for what I said. If it weren't for you guys I know I'd have been buried in the ground a long time ago." My words caused them all to grimace and look away from me. "You guys mean the world to me. You have no idea. You've always been there for me. Always. But it's time I start mentally preparing to once again attempt to spread my wings and fly on my own." I told them with added dramatics in my tone.

They smiled and instantly surrounded me to bring me into their arms for one giant group hug.

"You've done it before. We all saw the change in you when we first got here and you walked down the stairs with Edward. You were a new girl. Transformed into the Bella we always knew you would one day find the courage to be. You need to be strong and find that girl again and accept that she's the version of you that you deserve, and want to be." Sam whispered beside my ear. I closed my eyes and nodded my head, realizing just how right he was.

I did want to be that girl.

I would be that girl.

She was the girl I deserved to be.

* * *

It had been four days since I'd left the IRL house. I'd been glued to a chair on my balcony for the last two of those days with nothing but Jane in my lap, my fingers on her strings, and my eyes on the ocean. I'd gone through two picks and broken the same string five times. My poor finger tips were seriously pissed at me, but I didn't care. I'd pushed through the pain and it had without a doubt been absolutely worth it, because I now had two original songs entirely completed.

Writing those songs had proven to be the best therapy in the world for me.

I'd woken up this morning knowing it was time for me to truly face my twisted life once again. Not only that, but I was also ready to face it standing on my own two feet without my safety net of friends hovering to catch me if I fell again.

When the taxi pulled up to the house I took in a deep breath and counted backwards from ten.

"Do you need help with your stuff Miss?" the driver asked after I didn't move to get out of the back seat.

"No… sorry. I'm okay. Thanks. I'm okay." I handed him a twenty dollar bill and told him to keep the change then pushed the door open with my foot and grabbed my one duffle bag then Jane's case from beside me.

_Here we go, Swan. Be real or go home._

My body hadn't even crossed the threshold, but Alice was already flying down the stairs to throw herself into my arms.

"Bella! Oh my God! I am so happy to see you! We were starting to worry you weren't coming back. Let me take your bag."

"Hi Alice. It's nice to see you too." I replied with a light smile and firmly hugged her again after she'd kissed my cheeks about ten times.

"It hasn't been the same without you. I mean for seriously. Things have just been so, _blah_!"

I couldn't help but laugh, "Leave it to me to bring out the drama and mayhem," I joked without thinking, instantly making her frown.

"I didn't mean,"

"It's okay Little A, I'm just teasing you. Relax. Where is everyone?" I asked, looking behind her into the empty kitchen and living room area. It was almost time for work, so I'd expected everyone to be downstairs or running around getting ready.

"They should be back soon. James took Emmett, Rose, and Tanya to the mall. Edward disappeared with his skateboard this morning, as per usual, but he usually shows back up just as were getting into the van for work," my pixie housemate explained while a camera man slowly circled us. His lens was obviously focused on me for my reaction to having heard Edwards name being mentioned.

_Christ I sure hadn't missed this part of the bullshit. _

"How is he?" I asked before I could stop myself. Alice smiled and shrugged, then took me by the hand to bring me into the living room so we could sit down.

"He's… he's been quiet. Pretty much kept to himself. Him and Tanya had a huge fight the other night. She actually switched rooms with James after Edward said some not so nice things about her and Demetri. She almost packed her stuff and left, but the guy upstairs came down and talked her into staying."

"Wow… so then, she's still hung up on what happened… I guess her and I are going to have to have a little chit-chat. I really figured she'd moved on and forget all about it, but since she hasn't I'll just have to clear the air a little bit for her." I snickered looking down at my hands nervously.

I still couldn't believe that she herself had been knob bobbing on someone else's cock mere minutes before becoming Demetri's so called girlfriend, but had the nerve to point her finger at me.

It was going to be seriously hard to keep my cool when I saw her face again if she tried to give me an attitude.

"Well… She didn't bring anything up, it was actually Edward after she mentioned Demetri had gone out of town on business for a little while. He made some comment about him sowing his oats across the country and she went totally nuts. I still can't believe they're actually like a real couple now. It just seems so… not right." I couldn't help but smirk while I nodded my head agreeing with her.

"You have noooooo idea, Alice. She'll learn eventually. As will he. She's not as innocent as she'd like everyone to believe. I'm going to go change for work and unpack my stuff." I quickly told her, wanting to disappear upstairs for a few minutes before the rest of our housemates got back.

"Oh good! Bree will be thrilled to see you. She's been bugging all of us all week. She's really been worried about you."

I smiled again and felt my heart instantly fracture over the realization that I'd lost multiple days with my favorite orphan. I'd been so busy trying to work through my own shit I hadn't even thought about what my impulsive absence might mean to her.

Once upstairs, I set Jane on my bed and began unpacking my stuff. I grimaced at the sight of my disheveled drawers, remembering what it had been like to savagely fill my bag that night while Jake had held it open for me with tears clouding my vision. I'd only taken the few things. Things I knew weren't replaceable because in that moment, I really didn't think I'd be back for anything else.

I gently began re-folding my clothes and set them neatly back into the drawer then changed into my khaki shorts and work polo. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, let out a loud sigh and fell backwards onto my bed. It felt right to be back, this was where I belonged, but at the same time, I also felt as if I were now an outsider. I hated that feeling. It had only been a few days but it might as well have been months. I was at least thankful to hear I really wouldn't have to see Demetri anytime soon. Hopefully Tanya had enough sense in her head to meet him outside of the house during the rest of our time here whenever he did get back into town.

The door alarm chirped in the hallway causing me to sit up in my bed. My eyes instantly locked on the beaded curtain in our doorway as I felt my heart rate accelerate over the thought of seeing Edward's face again.

_You can do this. You're ready. Just be honest. No bullshit. _

When he walked through the curtain I instantaneously felt the return of a huge weight on my chest. My arms reached out to prop my body up against the mattress and our eyes locked for the first time.

"Wow… hi. I… I had no idea you were here." he stuttered taking an instant step backwards while running his left hand through his hair nervously.

"I just got here. Alice said everyone was out but that they should be back soon… for work." I quietly replied, still looking directly into his eyes. It was obvious he hadn't shaved in the last few days. His face was covered in stubble but it somehow made him that much more drop dead gorgeous.

"You're dressed. For work I mean… obviously you're dressed."

I nodded my head with a half-smile and grabbed at one of my dreads to anxiously wrap it around my finger in front of me, "Yeah. I checked out of the hotel this morning."

"So then, you've been in town the entire time?" he asked sounding a little hurt. I nodded my head and slowly stood up crossing my arms in front of me to tightly hug my body.

"Yeah… I got a room. My own room. The guys all left on Monday though." I explained then looked down at his right hand, noticing for the first time that it was in a cast. "Edward! What the hell happened?!" I took an impulsive step towards him but stopped short of reaching out to touch his arm.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing! How did that happen?" I asked again, still forcing myself to keep my arms wrapped at my waist. I didn't want to cross any lines. Not yet. I noticed him slowly glance towards the bathroom door. My own eyes followed his stare.

"You punched a hole through the door?" I asked with a gasp then covered my shocked expression with my hands.

"Yeah. It apparently punches back," he snickered shaking his head then scratched at his skin between the casts opening. "Damn thing is driving me fucking crazy."

"Edward, why would you do that? Doors always punch back." I shook my head at him and tried my best to hide my smirk, but I could tell I was failing miserably.

As usual, it was almost frightening how easy it was to fall back in line with him. He smiled and shrugged then took a seat on his bed and gestured with a nod of his head for me to sit down beside him. I followed the cue and sat down, quickly stuffing my hands into the pockets of the red hoodie I had pulled on.

"So. How have you been, Bella?"

I shrugged and took in a deep breath, "I've been better… but… I'm also doing a hell of a lot better than I was when I left here a few days ago. It was good for me… to get away. I know you didn't agree with it, but it's what I needed to do, and it helped clear my head. I'm happy I realized that, instead of just getting on a plane and going home."

"I'm glad you didn't get on a plane and go home too." he instantly replied then slid his feet across the carpet in front of us to kick his skate shoes off. I smiled and shook my head without saying anything in response. I was terrified to say the wrong thing, even though I'd rehearsed this entire moment in my head over and over again, now that it was here, I just couldn't push myself to say everything I wanted to say.

"How's Bree been?" I finally asked, feeling desperate to talk about something that didn't exactly directly involve _us_.

"She's good. She misses you. There's a family who's been sniffing around, taking her out to lunch and stuff. Esme thinks they might actually put in to adopt her." His words nearly knocked the wind out of me.

"What? No way. Who?! That… that's… I mean… how does Bree feel about that?" I was instantly fighting back extremely random and confusing tears over this news.

"She thinks it's bullshit. She even straight up told them so," he laughed and shook his head, "It's safe to say she's not very fond of them, but it would be good for her… to have that kind of stability."

I sat there silently, unable to agree with him. There was no such thing as stability in life. All it took was a single loose brick and the rest of your foundation would surely crumble. If anyone knew that, it was me.

"She'll be thrilled to see you. I mean… if you're really back-back. You're all she's talked about. She's actually been driving everyone crazy over it."

I smiled and nodded my head, "I'm back-back. I can't wait to see her."

He looked up and smirked then rubbed his leg nervously with his uninjured hand. "So, you should know, Tanya and I had it out the other night. James and her switched rooms."

"Yeah, Alice told me. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. She's an idiot," he immediately shot back then stood up to start pacing back and forth in front of me, "Look Bella, I know that what happened… it's enough to make most people sever ties and never even mention one another's name again let alone be in the same room, but I'm obviously just not ready to accept that as our only option. That's not what I want." he quickly got out before kneeling on the ground beside me, "I just can't. You mean far too much to me to just completely let you go. I'm so sorry for acting the way I did and for telling you to leave the house."

A quiet sob escaped past my lips and my face was immediately covered by my hands after hearing his words. I'd felt so prepared for this but now, in this moment, after hearing his admission, I just couldn't hold myself together. I felt the tears slide down my cheeks and immediately wiped them away with the back of my hands, "No. I'm sorry. So, so sorry. It meant nothing. Aro and Demetri. I never should have let it happen. I was just so confused and scared after you told me you loved me. I'd been drinking all day… and then... it was so random. I absolutely did not start it or seek it out with them. I need you to believe that. I didn't want it at all." I cried after throwing myself down into his arms.

"Shhh, I know. I made mistakes too. I'm nowhere near innocent in the 'that's so fucked up' department." he whispered softly while brushing my hair back out of my face.

"We're definitely a fucked up pair." I whispered, pressing myself against his chest after he'd reached out to pull me deeper against him.

"We are, but we also belong in each other's fucked up life. Without a doubt in my mind Bella, one way or another, you and I, we belong together." he replied increasing his grip on me. His index finger reached out to brush a fresh tear away from my cheek and he pressed his forehead against mine.

"So… what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" I asked looking down at his arms that were now wrapped around my waist.

"If you can forgive me for the hell I put you through with having Vic here, and all the things I said, then I can forgive you for fucking around with two douche bags before you agreed to be mine and only mine."

I thought his words over for a moment then shook my head regretfully, "Aro isn't a douche bag though. He's still my friend. He didn't do anything wrong. That was the girl he knew me to be. It was all Demetri. He'd been pressuring me all day. Pushing drink after drink. He was the one who decided to cross the line that night. He had no business… him and I… the thought of him disgusts me!"

If we were really going to do this… if we were really going to make a go at putting all of this behind us, then I needed to be one hundred and ten percent upfront with him. Aro was still someone I could call my friend, and Edward had to accept that. Demetri on the other hand. He could go to hell and deserved whatever STD Tanya might share with him before going there.

We sat in silence for a few painful seconds and I swear I could almost hear his heart beating rapidly from his chest. Finally, he cautiously nodded his head understanding what I was saying, then let out an annoyed huff. "Okay. I guess in time, I'll be able to accept that. He won't be around forever," he replied then slowly brought his hands up to cup my face, "Just be honest with me though, since you and I… since our talk at the school, in the empty pool that night when you told me you wanted to be with me and only me, have you been with anyone else? I mean in the same way you and I have been together?"

I looked him dead in the eyes and shook my head, "No. I haven't slept with anyone else. I haven't fucked or made love with anyone else. It's only been you, Edward. Since I arrived in South Carolina, you're the only one I've let in. Both intimately and emotionally. You're still the only person in this town who knows just about everything there is to know about me, and who has experienced all of me." he smiled for a moment as my words processed in his head then leaned in to kiss my lips softly one time.

The return of his mouth against mine sent an electric current through my body. It breathed life back into me almost instantly.

"You have no idea how much it hurt, to be away from you. To not see you for so long. To not know if you were okay. I never want to feel that kind of pain or worry again." he softly shared. He kissed me again then took in another deep breath before slowly exhaling. "I want you to know, I kicked Vic out after you left. I told her I never wanted to see her again. I was so blind, not to see it all before. She's severely fucked up in the head, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"It's okay. It's natural to only want to see the good in people. No matter how tainted they become, it's hard to accept you were ever wrong to trust them. I should have told you what I'd heard her say on the phone the first night she was here. I knew she came here to try and win you back, but instead of saying anything, I just let it eat away at me."

He grimaced over my revelation that I'd all along had inside information about Vic's true intentions, then increased his grasp around me. "I was a fool to think she could change… That we could just go back to the way things were."

"No. She was your best friend. I would have acted the same way if it had been Jake. I mean… I did act the same way with Jake." I spoke up shaking my head. "Thankfully Jake actually turned out to be one of the good guys though. He really helped me come to terms with a lot of things over these last few days… over the last year of my life really."

Edward nodded and gently ran his fingertips across my jaw before leaning in to firmly kiss my forehead, "Never in a million years did I expect to both like, and appreciate your twisted little group as much as I do today."

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, "They're pretty amazing. I'm an unlucky fucked up mess, but they always seem to pull me back up when I need them the most." I replied then heard the alarm in the hallway alert us that the rest of our housemates had returned home.

"So then we… are we, good?" Edward asked sounding slightly panicked.

"We'll talk more later." I quickly answered looking past him towards the doorway, "There's a lot more I need and want to say, but I don't want to feel rushed when I say it."

He frowned and loosened his grasp around me, "Should I be worried?"

"No. I don't think so. Now come on. Before they're all up here asking me a million question. I need to get this over with so we can get to work on time." I insisted then leaned in to kiss his cheek before standing up from his lap to go meet the rest of our housemates downstairs. I didn't wait for him because I knew he would only try to press me for more information, but for now, I'd said enough. We were good… _enough_. Things were calm and moving without many ripples. There was no reason to possibly create any waves just before heading to work where we wouldn't be able to talk freely.

_And now you face the rest of the firing squad._

"_Holy shit!_ You're really back!" Emmett boomed after I'd walked into the kitchen shocking them all with my calm smile. I nodded my head then hugged James tightly after he'd extended his arms out towards me.

"It's good to see you Bella. We've missed you, kiddo." he whispered beside my ear, squeezing me in his arms.

"Thanks James. It's nice to be back." I replied then glanced at Tanya who was leaning against the counter with her eyes narrowed in my direction.

_Go ahead, Swan._ _Let her have it._

"Look, I get why you were mad at me, but you need to accept that what happened between Demetri and I, it happened before you decided you were really into him. It wasn't like you weren't fucking around with other guys yourself, Tanya. Don't act like you were some virginal princess. I know all about a certain pit stop you made in the back of Volturi's the other night. That being said, I don't want to spend our last days here fighting with you. Can we please put it all behind us and just try to get along?"

Her eyes got wide for a second before she crossed her arms in front of her waist and let out a loud huff, "Fine. Whatever. I mean I'm honestly over it. If Edward can forgive you, then I guess I can too."

I smiled and nodded my head then slowly turned to face everyone else again, "So just so we're clear. I'm back. I'm staying till the end."

"What about you and Edward?" Alice impulsively asked then covered her mouth seemingly embarrassed over her outburst.

"We… we're,"

"We're fine." Edward firmly spoke up from behind me. He forced a smile then walked past the rest of us to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, "Let's head out before we're late."

Unfortunately I noticed the looks they all gave each other. They obviously didn't believe everything was _fine. _Truthfully_, _neither did I, but now certainly wasn't the time to get into it, and certainly not before Edward and I had a chance to really talk about everything we still needed to overcome in order to really move forward.

As long as we didn't try to force anything too soon… as long as I stayed true to myself and focused on everything I'd come to terms with over the last few days… we would be okay.

There was still one more secret though that I needed to share with Edward. Now that I knew I wanted him to be a part of my long term future, it was time that I let him know what a future with me would really look like… Or in my case, what a future with me would be absent of.

* * *

**A/N: Are we a little less pissed at Bella?**

**Admit it... you kind of like Aro now right? He's really never been such a bad guy. Bella has always said he reminded her of her boys back home and for good reason. Dem is still a prick though... and how about Tanya and her own shady ways? **

**So Bella is on the road to recovery and determined to make things right. How will her extended talk go with Edward? What else will she say, and will it be enough, or will it be too much for him to handle? I think they made good progress in this chapter. Nothing too fast or too forced. But maybe that should make you nervous? :P**

***Please review because I love sharing extra's in return for your feedback!***

*****As this story nears its completion I'm also getting ready to start working on Two Makes Five again. I'm in need of a good, fast, and committed beta for that sequel. If you're interested in the "job" please let me know.*****

**Till next time!**


	25. Real Talk

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem.

**A/N: Hi again! If you have furry, or fur-less children... or if you have a significant other who sometimes acts like a child (it happens to the best of them, lol) I hope you had a nice Mothers Day! This chapter should hopefully leave you smiling. Lots of progress and some citrus to tie it all together at the end.**

* * *

**Real Talk**

**Chapter 25**

**~Bella~**

On the way to the school Edward and I sat in the back of the van together. There was a noticeable space between the two of us though. When Alice turned around in her seat to ask me where I'd been for the last few days, her eyes quickly settled on the gap separating us. She instantly frowned, unable to hide her disappointment. I shifted my weight backwards into my seat and focused my stare out the window before replying, "I was at a hotel on the beach. Nothing fancy. The only time I left was to see the guys off at the airport on Monday."

"Oh so they did leave when they were supposed to?"

"Yup. I'd been on my own since Monday afternoon." I replied with a nod of my head to answer her question. I carefully glanced at Edward but he was busy staring out his own window now. He seemed a million miles away and that was making me nervous. "I just wanted a little more time away from the camera's before coming back."

_That a girl. Another half-truth never hurt anymore. _

"We absolutely understand. We just figured you went back home for a few days." Emmett replied looking back from his seat in front of Alice and Tanya.

"Nope. I knew if I went all the way back… I'd more than likely have stayed there. I just needed to clear my head. I wasn't ready to really leave you guys yet. I also knew you would wither away and die of boredom without me." I teased trying to lighten the mood in the van.

_Who weren't you ready to leave yet, Swan? Them? Or him?_

_Shut it._

My eyes instantly glanced down at Edward's left hand that was now tapping nervously over his knee. For a moment I considered placing my own hand over his, to help calm his obvious nerves, but I reminded myself we weren't there yet. I was determined to take things slow. This couldn't feel rushed or forced. I wouldn't let that happen. It had to be done right and with purpose. We owed that to each other. There was no reason to rush back in without first repairing the damage we'd done.

_Accept for the fact that you only have a little over two weeks left here, Swan._

_Seriously?! Leave me alone!_

"Well, we're all stoked that you came back. We'll have to celebrate tonight." Emmett insisted offering his hand up in the air after leaning way back to throw me a high-five. I smiled without saying a word in response and nodded my head.

I honestly didn't feel like celebrating though. Edward and I still had to have our talk. Once I got everything out, and once he made his decision, then I could celebrate.

_Or drink yourself to death. Either or, depending on how he reacts and responds._

"Maybe we should hold off till tomorrow night, so we will all have the weekend to recuperate." I suggested with a wink.

"Yeah you're probably right! Tomorrow night then. It's on like Donkey Kong! Like first night party time! Hot tub action and a round of, Well I Never."

"Oh. _Fabulous_." Rose snickered then let out an exasperated huff from between her red painted lips.

"Sounds like a plan, Em. I can't wait to let my hair down again. Believe it or not, I've actually been taking it easy the last few days." I replied with a crooked smile then leaned forward to squeeze Alice's shoulder to let her know I really was doing okay. She nodded her head and offered me her own best smile, but I could tell she wasn't completely sold on my act. That was okay though. I didn't need her to be. I knew in time things would be back to normal and all the scandals, all the mayhem… it would all be forgotten.

At least until it aired on national television.

That had to give me at least a few good weeks of normalcy.

Hopefully.

* * *

When we got to the school I considered running into Esme's office real quick to let her know I was back, but we were already late getting to our groups so I decided to put it off till the end of the day.

Not to mention I was dying to see a certain special orphan.

As soon as Edward and I walked into the room, Bree instantly leaped from her seat and ran herself into my arms. I hugged her tightly and softly apologized for my absence then said hi to the rest of the kids.

"Don't _ever_ do that again. I've been so worried about you. You could have at least sent me a note or called." Bree scolded, looking up at me with her eyes glazed from happy tears. I smiled and nodded my head.

"I should have. I'm sorry. I just needed to take a little break. Sometimes things start to pile up and I have a hard time catching my breath."

"It's cool. I get it. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear too. You're lucky you're a grownup and get to do stuff like that," she quickly confessed then hugged me again.

I frowned and shook my head disagreeing with her, "No, Bree. Grownups should never just disappear like that. What I did, it wasn't cool. I should have let you know I was okay, and that I'd be back. I owe you a huge apology."

"Yeah yeah. Don't worry, you didn't _really_ worsen my abandonment issues that _much_ more. I knew you'd come back before leaving for good." she teased with a smirk on her face, "I have something for you." I could feel myself smiling while I watched her run over to her book bag at the table. She reached in to grab a spiral notebook then swiftly ran back to me. "Here. Since you weren't around… I just wrote you all the stuff I needed to get off my chest. Since we couldn't have our talks out on the playground I mean. Mr. Edward tried to listen but it wasn't really the same. So you can read it later, and then maybe write back. Good deal?" she explained.

I looked down at the notebook in my hands and smiled. "Good deal. I'll read it all tonight and I promise to write back ASAP." I was suddenly fighting back a new wave of random tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"I'm so happy you're back Ms. Bella. We're going roller skating tomorrow. It will be fun now that you're coming, so I guess I'll go. You've missed a lot of crap though, some stupid family has been making me hang out with them, but I talk about it in the notebook. Okay I'm going to go finish my math homework." She hugged me again then ran back to her desk where the rest of the girls were quietly working with their heads down, but their eyes drawn in my direction. They were all obviously trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. I scanned the room and saw the boys smiling at me from their table. A few of them waved, but for the most part it was apparent they had been instructed to remain calm and quiet upon my return to the group. I looked around for Edward and found him talking quietly with Irina in the corner of the room. Something about the way they were talking. It didn't sit well with me. I brushed it off, deciding I was just being overly paranoid, and walked over to join them.

"Hey Irina."

"Hi Bella. Welcome back. I guess I'm no longer _needed_ here, since you've returned." She gave Edward one last shy smile, affectionately squeezed his arm with her hand, and stood up to leave the room without saying anything else. I was instantly aware that I'd interrupted a conversation I wasn't supposed to be a part of and before it was meant to be over.

I was also aware that I wasn't being so paranoid after all.

"Well. I guess you did what you had to do while I was gone." I grumbled without thinking twice. I didn't waste any time to walk away, leaving him behind. The last thing I wanted was to give him the chance to respond. I had no right to be mad. Whatever that was about, it was none of my business. I'd walked away from him when he'd first reached out and begged me to talk. I'd told him he was free to do whatever he needed to do in order to carry on without me.

"Bella,"

"We're at work, Edward. Like I said at the house, we will talk more later. There's obviously lots we still need to talk about. Can we please just focus on the kids for the next few hours?" I begged, feeling my emotions starting to get the better of me. If he continued to push, there was no way I'd be able to hold back my frustration. I stuck Bree's notebook in my back pocket and went to sit at the table with the girls, knowing he wouldn't be stupid enough to follow me.

Bree was already frowning and biting nervously at her thumb nail.

"I told you," One of the other girls, snickered as I took my seat.

"Shut up, Nettie." Bree decisively warned then shook her head, "He missed you, Ms. Bella. I know he did. He's been so sad. All week. Seriously zombie like."

I looked away and redirected my eyes to the paper in front of her then took in a deep breath. "So, ladies, what kind of math are we doing?" I asked changing the subject. I wasn't about to take relationship advice from a group of nine and ten year olds. Even if they probably did have inside information they would be willing to share.

* * *

Edward and I didn't talk much the rest of the day. Really only when it was absolutely required of us in order to get our job done without any hiccups. It was hard to ignore how stressed he seemed, he was making it abundantly obvious with his pacing and lack of social interaction with the kids.

It was almost time to head home, so Bree and I had positioned ourselves under our favorite tree on the playground where we usually discussed what was on our mind in a slightly less censored, age appropriate way, "Now that we're alone you can tell me. Is he in trouble again?" Bree's little voice asked, breaking me from my own out of focus thoughts. "Are you going to leave again?"

"You know better Ms. Tanner." I warned with a forced smile. "No outrageously personal questions… but no, I'm not going anywhere. He didn't do anything wrong. He did exactly what I told him to do."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Right. Grownups are so weird. Like seriously, weird. You just better write me back, and I just better see you tomorrow."

I smiled and squeezed her hand then told her to have a goodnight before standing up from the grass to go meet Edward at the gate after seeing the room mother had joined us to take the kids back to their boarding house.

"Ready to head home?" he asked, still avoiding my eyes.

"Yup. I want to check in with Esme though… so if everyone else wants to go, I can just call myself a taxi." I quickly replied, then started walking away without waiting for his response. He rushed his steps to catch up and walk beside me then gently grabbed at my arm to slow my pace.

"Bella, I can wait with you. If you want," he offered as I looked down at his hand that was still holding onto my wrist. His forced touch had caused me to flinch, but he didn't let me go.

"It's okay. You don't have to."

"I realize I don't _have_ to. I _want_ to. I've already been away from you enough this week. Every second we have left… I want them spent with you," he firmly answered.

I gently pulled my arm from his grasp, and rolled my eyes with an accidental scoff escaping past my lips. "Alright fine. Wait. I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll meet you out here when I'm done." I left him standing there on the steps of the office building and forcefully pushed the door open.

Irina was at her desk outside of Esme's office surfing her Facebook feed. She looked up and instantly opened her mouth, "Look, Bella, nothing really hap…"

I didn't waste any time to interrupt her, "I'm here to see Esme. Not you."

"Oh, okay. Um. She's in, just knock first."

I nodded my head and forced a smile then walked past her desk to tap on Esme's door. I heard her invite me in and turned the door knob with my hand then slowly stuck my head inside to offer a quiet hello.

"Bella! I'm so glad you stopped by before heading home. I meant to come see you but time got away from me this afternoon. Plus I figured when you were ready to talk, you would come find me." I smiled in response and let my feet take me further into her office. It was warm and inviting. I scanned the walls and noticed countless hand written letters from children framed and mounted behind her desk then stopped in front of a large picture of all of the kids standing in front of the playground. I quickly scanned it for Bree's signature smile, and felt my own smile raise. It only took me half a second to spot her. It was incredible how just seeing her smiling face could suddenly settle my anxiety and allow me to breathe easier. "It's really good to see you back." Esme spoke up, breaking me from my stare on the photograph.

"Yeah. I just needed to get away. Thanks for not giving me a hard time about it. I'm sorry if my absence left you shorthanded."

"Not at all. Irina filled in just fine. The kids sure have missed you though. Especially Miss Tanner. I knew you two had gotten close, but I had no idea just how attached she really was till she thought she may never get to see you again."

I smiled feeling my heart grow over Esme's words then took a seat in the chair across from her desk. "I heard there's a family that's been showing some interest in adopting her?"

She nodded her head and folded her hands in front of her then let out an exasperated sigh. "They're a very nice couple with a six year old son. Unfortunately, Bree isn't very fond of the idea. It seems she's just not ready to leave everything and everyone she's ever known behind."

"Hah, I guess I can relate to that." I muttered then felt my cheeks instantly blush.

"Yes… I had a feeling you two would be kindred spirits." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, unsure of how to respond to her Ann of Green Gables-ish statement. "She told me she asked you and Edward to take her out trick or treating on Halloween."

"Yeah, I mean only if it's okay with you. Just for like an hour."

"It's fine with me, but Bella, you do need to start preparing her for what's to come at the end of the month. You _will_ have to say goodbye to her. I've talked to her about it, but she has this crazy idea in her head… well… it's not my place. You just need to let her know that she has her own path, and it's separate from the one you're on at this time in your life."

_What the hell is up with all these people bringing up my damn path these last few days?_

_Jesus._

_Who am I Bella Quest now?_

I sighed and tugged on my dreads that had fallen in front of my shoulder. "I know. I don't want to think about leaving yet. I'm already mad at myself for going away and staying away for as long as I did. I wasted so much time. Time that I should have spent with her, being here for her."

"I think she probably feels the same way… I mean, that she could have been there for you. If you'd have let her."

"Yeah she likes to think she takes care of me." I replied with a light laugh as I shook my head with a guarded smile.

"_Thinks_ huh? She's a very special little girl. It's okay to admit that Bella. Good and special people are allowed to be in your life. Not everyone will turn around and disappoint you. I promise, be it temporarily or permanently. Everyone has a purpose."

I considered her words for a moment then stood up from my chair and rubbed my hands in front of me, this conversation was starting to get a little too therapy-like, so that meant it was time for me to bring it to a close, "Okay well, I just wanted to stop in and say hi and also thank you for not firing me."

"Of course not, Bella. You'll always be welcomed here. Even come November. If something, or _someone,_ should convince you to stay, I mean. You will always have a place here with us," she finished then got up and walked around her desk to give me a firm hug. She whispered how lucky she and the kids were that someone like me had come into their lives, and I felt my eyes swell up with tears while I hugged her back. I cautiously allowed myself to imagine this was what it would have been like to have a heart to heart with my own mother and felt heavier tears swell up above my lower lashes till they began running down my cheeks. "You're a special person, Bella, with an amazing heart. I'm so proud of you for coming back, and not running away or giving up. I've seen you grow a lot during your time here with us… even though you didn't think I was watching… I have been, and you've most certainly come a long way Ms. Swan."

I wiped my cheeks free of the tears that had fallen and let out a nervous laugh, "Working here has definitely forced me to realize I should be grateful for the people I _did_ have growing up, instead of focusing so much on the ones I didn't have," I shared. She looked down at me and nodded her head then began walking me towards her door.

"Go home and rest. Enjoy your friends. Life is too short to dwell on your past, Bella. You have to make every new day count towards your future."

"You mean I shouldn't live life like there's no tomorrow?" I teased bringing a crooked smile to her face.

"Oh I think you've done a fairly good job at that already. Maybe try living life like tomorrow will be even better than the day before it, because of the choices you make today. .. instead of constantly looking over your shoulder afraid of the things that might return, or in some cases, never catch up to you." she suggested with a wink of her eye. I nodded my head and thanked her again then opened the door to go find Edward.

Irina was missing from her desk and I was instantly dreading what I might find when I rounded the corner outside in front of the school.

To say I was pleased when I found him alone sitting on the steps would have been a gross understatement.

He was staring down at his sneakers with his chin resting on his knees, once again looking a thousand miles away. I stood there behind him for a few seconds watching him tap his feet rhythmically while he swayed lightly side to side humming something to himself. I stepped closer to try and make out the song that he apparently had stuck in his head then let out an impulsive gasp upon realizing it was _my_ song. The one I'd admitted was for him the night we'd had our big fight and he'd sent me away from our house.

He turned around to face me then slowly stood up holding his broken hand in front of him.

"That was my song." I whispered looking him in the eyes.

"Yeah. It's been stuck in my head since the night you left," he admitted bashfully before taking a step closer towards me.

"You- you read the lyrics then?"

He nodded his head and took another step so that we were now only inches apart, but still not touching. "Memorized every word. I'd like to hear you sing it though. For me. Sometime, I mean… if you still feel the same way you did when you wrote it."

I smiled feeling my cheeks burn red, and shrugged my shoulders. "Let's get home. I have a bunch of love notes to read from my biggest, littlest BFF." I shared pulling the notebook Bree had given me out from my back pocket.

"Yeah, she's been scribbling in that thing for you all week. Crazy kid. I considered writing you a few notes myself, but I had an issue with stealing a ten year olds idea." he teased making me smile again just as our ride pulled up. He draped his left arm over my shoulder and slowly walked me down the steps then opened the taxi door for me. Once we were both inside I leaned my head down to rest it on his shoulder and took his uninjured hand into mine, squeezing it gently with my fingers.

_Go ahead. Ask him. You know it's only going to drive you mad till you get your answer. Just. Do. It. Already._

"So, did you sleep with her?" I finally blurted out then noticed the taxi drivers eyes instantly glance back at us in his rear view mirror.

"Wha-what? With who?" Edward stuttered. His eyes abruptly narrowed down towards my own.

"Don't play dumb. You know who." I calmly pressed. He said nothing, he just sat there and stared down at me. I was just about to accept that as his silent answer when he slowly began shaking his head.

"Irina and I hung out last night. After work. She knew I was having a rough time so she suggested I come hang out with her and some of her friends, away from the cameras. Oddly enough her friends suspiciously canceled on her, and after a few drinks at her apartment she started getting a little touchy feely. She told me she liked me, in a more than friend slash coworker way, but I set her straight that the feelings weren't mutual."

"You must have at least kissed her or something,"

He looked at me seemingly shocked over my accusation then reluctantly nodded his head. "For a few minutes… I tried to forget about you for a few minutes, but it only took a few minutes for me to realize it would be impossible to do. I didn't want to forget about you. It was just a kiss. I was going to tell you all of this later, when we had our _talk. _I promise. I don't want there to be anymore secrets. No matter how innocent they might be._"_

"You didn't need to tell me. A girl always knows though. I'm not mad. I kissed Paul. I practically begged him to fuck me senseless that first night. Thankfully, he refused. I was in a really bad place those first forty-eight hours." I shared causing the taxi driver to choke on his own saliva. "I tried to forget about you too. It's what people like us do. We forget so we can leave it all behind and move forward. I'm tired of leaving things behind though. I'm tired of running from the things… from the feelings I can't control. I don't want to be in control anymore when it comes to me and you, but there's still stuff I need to get off my chest, before anything else can happen."

"You know I really didn't expect to have this conversation in the back of a cab."

"No cameras." I pointed out with a slight grin. He smiled and shook his head before raising his brow in my direction, obviously anticipating that I had something else to say. "Plus I didn't want _this_ to be a part of our other talk, later. I just needed to get it out of the way. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that when I realized something had happened between you and Irina. You did exactly what I told you to do." I admitted then turned to look out the window.

"You're starting to scare me with this little talk you have planned for us," he took my hand back into his and gave it a squeeze.

I smiled and forced a light laugh, "I like to keep you on your toes, M&M."

"God it's good to hear you call me that again."

I grinned looking back at him, "You still don't even know what it stands for."

He shrugged and nodded his head agreeing with me. "No, but I know it means you're still thinking of me the same way you thought of me last week before all the bullshit. That's good enough for me, Rock Star."

After hearing his logic, I impulsively leaned over to take his lips against mine and let our mouths linger against one another while I ran my fingers through his soft silky hair. I easily became intoxicated by his touch and the movement of his hand against the swell of my back as he brought me firmly up against him in the back seat of the cab.

"Um… sorry to interrupt but, we're here." the driver informed us after clearing his throat to break our embrace. I laughed nervously and looked into Edwards eyes with our foreheads still pressed together.

"How about we circle the block a few times, friend?" Edward requested then pulled a fifty dollar bill from his wallet to hand it to the driver. I giggled and pressed my head into his shoulder then wrapping my arms around his neck after moving myself further up into his lap.

"No problem. Just let me know when you two have had enough of each other," the driver joked with a chuckle then turned back around to take his car out of park and continue down the block.

"Oh, I think if we waited till then we would be driving for all eternity." Edward replied with a smirk, looking down into my eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat over his words and instantly pulled his face back down towards mine not wanting to waste a single second we had in the back of the cab, without any third eyes watching quietly from a distance.

* * *

During dinner everyone stayed busy talking about the Halloween party they had apparently begun to plan while I'd been away. Alice seemed almost manic talking about the decorations she wanted to get, and how she also wanted to set up a spooky haunted house out on the back patio. Rose was determined to have cheesy party game stations like bobbing for apples, which Emmett immediately suggested instead of apples they throw in a few fake body parts to make things a little more festive. Tanya wanted to have a costume contest, and James seconded her suggestion. I just sat back and listened because I was already feeling ridiculously depressed over the thought that we would now be spending our last Saturday night together in the house with a bunch of other people, some of which would probably be virtual strangers. I didn't want to ruin their fun though so I stayed quiet and picked at the food on my plate.

"Bella… eat. Don't just stare at it." Rose snickered in my ear after leaning over for a moment while everyone else continued with their discussion.

"I _am_ eating. Chill, Hale." I warned with a huff then tossed a tomato from my dry salad into my mouth. "See. _Yum_. Delicious."

She narrowed her eyes and swirled some spaghetti onto the fork that had been resting on my plate then held it out towards my mouth. "Seriously? What am I two years old?" I asked with a roll of my eyes.

"Apparently. Now eat it. I'm not playing around. I knew you going away would set you back. I'd hoped your friends would have kept a better eye on this part of your recovery, but apparently they were too busy focusing on all your other bullshit. You were doing too well for me to sit quietly now."

I rolled my eyes again and leaned over to take the fork from her hand then brought it forcefully into my mouth, "Happy?" I asked, my mouth now full of pasta and red sauce.

She smiled and nodded her head, "Very."

I watched her return to the party conversation, feeling thankful that no one else had noticed our little pow-wow off to the side, then took two more bites before standing up to scrape my plate into the garbage can. I was honestly feeling too anxious to eat. It had nothing to do with my food issues. I was just literally feeling nauseous over the thought of what might happen after I talked to Edward tonight.

"Where are you going?" Edwards smooth, familiar voice whispered into my ear after he'd snuck up from behind me at the sink where I was rinsing off my plate.

"Upstairs," I smiled and leaned my body backwards into his after he'd wrapped his arms in front of me. "I want to read Bree's notes." What I really wanted was a distraction, and I knew Bree's random rambles would be perfect for that.

"Okay. Just let me know when you're ready to sneak out."

I turned and gave his cheek a quick kiss then nodded my head agreeing to do as he had requested before wiggling myself free from his grasp.

Once upstairs I climbed into my bed and pulled my comforter up around me then reached behind my pillow where I had stashed Bree's spiral notebook after we'd gotten home.

I smiled seeing her tiny chicken scratch handwriting and nuzzled in deeper against my pillow.

* * *

_Hi Ms. Bella,_

_Me and my friends alwayz rite to each other when we have stuff to say but we can't say it out loud. Cense you desided to take off I desided I'm still gunna bug you in my own way. I'm really upset you left without saying n-e thing to me. Everyone says you'll be back but I don't think they no you like they think they do so it makes me nurvus when they say you'll be back. It's weird how grownups tell us kids what they think we want to here all the time insted of just saying that sometimes crap happens in life and we just have to exsept it and stuff. I'm going to do my best without you just incase you don't come back but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop thinking about you. Okay, time for English. I'll rite more later._

* * *

It was fascinating to me the way Bree held nothing back and just said things like they were. I couldn't believe it, but I was almost envious of her for being able to be like that. So straight forward and to the point. It was a huge gift that she had, and I had to make sure she was aware of that when I wrote her back.

* * *

_Okay so. That was the stupidest lesson ever. What a waste of 40 minutes. Sometimes I wish this school stuff would just go away. I wish I could just sneek off to the skate park and practice my kick-flips so I can make Mr. Edward proud of me. He told me yesturday I'm getting better. I think he just felt bad for me thow because he could tell I was sad you still weren't here. Why do boys do that? When I'm older and I actually give a crap I'm gunna make sure no boy ever just tells me what I want to here. Nettie thinks it's sweet when Zane agrees with everything she says. I think its puthetic. Who needs that? Ah Mrs. Esme is coming. Got2go!_

* * *

Her ramblings were seriously tugging at my heart strings. So was her awful spelling. I could totally picture her hunched over scribbling her thoughts down and shaking her head to herself as she thought about the mystery of boys and what made them tick. The next three paragraphs were filled with Bree venting about the stupidity of having to take science and social studies. She wasn't going to be a scientist, and she had zero interest in politics. Thank God. So she just didn't see the point in burning valuable brain time on such subjects. I found myself laughing out loud several times and turned to lay on my stomach with the note book in front of me as I turned the page to her last entry. The handwriting was noticeably different on this page. Much softer, and more controlled. I noticed that right away and it had my attention immediately.

* * *

_Okay so. I just got back from having stupid dinner and stupid ice cream with these stupid people and their stupid kid. His name is Stanley… seriously? Who names their kid Stanley? Esme says I have to give'em a chance. That it makes me special cuz they want to spend time getting to no me. I think that's a lowed of bull. I'm not some puppy they can try out b4 taking home. Plus they go to church 3 times a week. I ain't got time for that. Could you even imagen?! Besides I like it here. I don't need anyone else in my life that I don't already have. I mean the only people I'd like to __forever __add is you and Mr. Edward. If I could have that then my life would be perfect. I know you have to go thow. I don't want you to but I kno SoCaro sux a lot. So I don't blam you. Maybe if I'm lucky you'll come back and visit me? I really hope you'll come back to visit. Please please please promise me you'll come back to visit? No one gets me like you do. I don't think anyone else ever will. I can't wait till you come back. Okay. Lights out. Tomorrow's a new day to bring change and make stuff happen. At least that's what Mrs. Esme says. Carp-them and all that stuff. Xo, Bree_

* * *

I brushed the random tear from my cheek and felt my crooked smile settle into a confused frown. It was going to be so hard to say goodbye to her. I didn't even want to think about that moment. Without a doubt it was going to be hard to say goodbye to everyone. I'd grown so attached to so many new people in my life, when before them, I'd only had a handful who I had allowed in. It was for this very reason… I hated goodbyes because throughout my entire life, every time someone said it… they always meant it. There was no such thing as a, 'see you later'. At least not a pleasant, 'see you later'. I leaned over and pulled a pen from the nightstands drawer and began writing Bree back without sitting too long to carefully calculate my reply. I wanted it all to be honest and legit. I wanted her to read it and know I meant every word. That I wasn't just another grown up telling her things a grown up should, and would tell a kid. I wanted her to know that every word I wrote, they all came from my heart.

There were so many things I wanted for Bree. I wanted her to experience so much that I never had. She had to learn to trust though and open herself up… otherwise she would end up just like me, and I absolutely did not want that for her.

* * *

**~EDWARD~**

As soon as the mobile camera guys cut off for the night, I headed upstairs to steal Bella away from the house and its corner cams. I'd been surprised to find her still scribbling with serious purpose in the spiral notebook Bree had given her. I cleared my throat and she instantly stopped writing to look up at me with her eyes wide.

"It's after three. The cameras are gone." I told her with a slight smile.

"Right. Right. Our talk. Okay. Give me five more minutes, and I'll meet you downstairs. I accidentally dozed off for a little while," she replied then glanced back down at the notebook, "I just need to finish up this thought."

"Sure. Take your time. I was actually just making sure you hadn't fallen asleep." I laughed causing her to smirk, "I'll be in the living room whenever you're ready to head out." I told her, she nodded her head in reply and looked back down at the sheet of paper she had been writing on then returned her pen to its surface. She had an almost manic look in her eyes when she'd looked up at me. She'd said it so many times before, so I already knew it was going to be hell on her to leave Bree behind in a few weeks. I was honestly dreading that goodbye myself. That little girl had definitely left a permanent mark on my heart, so the idea of never seeing her again… well it was something I tried my best to not think about these days. I could only imagine what it was going to do to Bella when that time came.

"You two going out?" James asked after I came back into the computer room where he was typing away on the keyboard. He was the only person left in the house that was still awake.

"Yeah. To talk. She has more she wants to get off her chest. I'm nervous as hell about it." I admitted scratching my head with my hand after I'd fallen back into the large bean bag chair in the corner of the room.

"She came back. That's huge. I wouldn't stress yourself out too much. Just remember to listen. I mean really listen. That's all she wants." James replied offering me a genuine smile. I nodded my head and redirected my eyes through the open doorway after seeing Bella enter the kitchen. She quickly poured herself a glass of water and took a seat on the stool at the counter, spinning my skateboards wheels in her lap while she kicked her legs nervously beneath her.

"She didn't have a single drink today." I muttered softly, more to myself than to James.

"Nope. That's huge too. Don't force anything more than what she's ready to give, and you'll be okay."

I nodded my head agreeing with him then slowly stood up to go meet Bella where she was waiting for me.

"Ready?" I asked as she handed over my skateboard with a smile.

"Let's do this, before I chicken out," she replied then walked around the counter to open the junk closet where she casually grabbed the big sleeping bag we had taken with us, and shared on our camping trip. "My ass has been sitting on a concrete balcony for the last four days with Jane in my lap. I'm in desperate need of soft surfaces." she explained with a smug smile.

I couldn't help but smirk as I shot her a thumbs up, "Gotcha."

She rolled her eyes and linked her arm through mine, "Don't get any ideas. We're taking things slow buddy."

"Right, Right. Like molasses, Rock Star. Slow and steady wins the race." I was still feeling insanely anxious over what the next thirty minutes might bring, but for some reason, seeing her with a sleeping bag… it had helped settle my nerves just a little bit.

* * *

When we got to the school Bella quickly made her way to the empty pool without wasting any time. She was obviously in a hurry to have this conversation, but I'd honestly do anything to put it off for just a few minutes longer.

After a few laps around the courtyard on my board she motioned with her index finger for me to follow her and I reluctantly did. The moment our eyes locked under the bright moon I could see the return of her own nervousness. That instantly made me feel a little bit better.

"Smile, Edward." she ordered with a forced grin.

"I'm trying… I can just tell something's off. I already know I'm not going to like everything you have to say, so I'm mentally preparing." I admitted with a loud huff. Without saying another word I dropped into the pool on my skateboard, leaving her back up at the top all alone. It was nice to be away from the cameras again. Last night at Irina's wasn't exactly the break I had been looking for and craving. Truthfully it had only added to my headache. I hadn't expected her to try and hop on my dick the way she had, I mean she didn't really seem the type at all. I was obviously off my game because when she did I'd almost shoved her to the floor. It was during that moment, though, when I did try to forget all about Bella, that I realized I'd never be able to forget. She was the only person I ever wanted to hold in my arms again, and that's when I knew I had to find a way to make her see that's where she still belonged… and where I needed, and wanted her to be.

I rode up and down the pool's cement walls for a few times trying to further clear my head then saw Bella rush across towards the other end. She laid out the giant sleeping bag and took a seat with her chin propped on top of her closed fists resting above her knees. I was obviously trying to put off the inevitable thanks to my little freestyle run on my board. She was finally ready to talk and now apparently I wasn't ready to hear everything she had left to say because I knew it couldn't all be good, otherwise she would have just gotten it all out earlier this afternoon when she'd first gotten back.

"Edward. Come sit. Please?"

I jumped from my board, sending it towards the shallow end of the empty pool, and landed safely on my feet at the ground. I looked back and nodded at her then slowly made my way over with my hands stuffed into the pockets of my jeans.

After taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaling I took my place across from her. "Alright. What's on your mind, Rock Star. "

"Okay so… here we are again." she paused and cleared her throat nervously.

"Here we are."

"Shhh… let me do this," she warned furrowing her brow in my direction. I raised my hands defensively up in the air teasing her, and then slowly brought my left index finger to my mouth signaling I would remain quiet.

"Okay so. When everything was said and done and after I left with the guys... I'd never in my life felt so absolutely... Empty. Like I seriously couldn't imagine waking up the next day, let alone making it through the night, or even days without you. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad or guilty. Because I brought all of that on myself. I deserved everything you said to me. Hell I deserved a lot more." She stopped to take another deep breath after her voice quivered at the end of her last sentence. Instead of opening my mouth to tell her she hadn't deserved it, I reached out and took her hand into mine and gave it a firm squeeze. I knew if I tried to say anything she would only shut me up.

"Those feelings I felt that night… they're why I'd vowed to never ever let myself fall in love with someone, because I knew when it happened, I would lose every ounce of strength it had taken me years to build up again. I knew eventually things would spiral out of control, Edward. It was only a matter of how, why, and when. That's what happens after you give your heart to someone. I'd seen it happen, so many times with my friends back home when we were growing up. I knew if they fell as hard as they did, that I'd be a ridiculous puddle of nothing if I ever let some guy into my life in a way that would leave me open and vulnerable… Especially after everything I went through with Riley, and I didn't have half of the feelings for him that I had for you."

"Had?"

"I'm speaking in past tense… because I'm explaining what I felt that night, and what I'd been feeling ever since making the decision to let things happen between us. Not because I no longer have feelings for you. I promise, I do. You've without a doubt made me… you _make_ me feel more than I've ever wanted to feel, Edward."

I offered her a half smile and nodded my head, understanding what she was saying but not wanting to keep her from continuing.

"Right, so, after being so successful, for so many years, turning my back, and shutting people out who might have had the ability to shake my foundation… after keeping feelings out that could have torn me down, instead of build me up… you somehow scaled that wall then apparently demolished it without me even realizing it was actually happening. Before I knew it… it was too late."

"What was too late?" I was panicking. Did I miss my chance? Did she already decide I wasn't enough for her? Were we back at the friends with benefits platform without there being any chance that we could return to the relationship we had finally established and begun to build together just a few weeks ago?

"You fell in love with me, Edward." she finally replied looking up into my eyes with a tiny tear escaping past her bottom lashes.

"I did, Bella, and I still am." I whispered back, softly brushing the wet tear from her face with my thumb. She closed her eyes and leaned her face into the palm of my hand smiling to herself

"You did everything I told you not to do."

"I couldn't help it. I would say sorry, but I'm not sorry. Even after everything we've been through, you're still the only girl I've ever fallen in love with, and I don't regret that at all. I love you Bella Swan. Every fucked up part of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I love you, and I'm determined to make you admit you love me too, because I know you do." She opened her eyes and smiled again then brushed the wave of tears away from her face, seemingly embarrassed by her inability to control her un-tethered emotions.

"I've never in my life cried as much as I've cried since coming out here to South Carolina."

I softly laughed and squeezed her hand in mine while she nervously shifted her weight in front of me. "Things happened so fast, Edward. Between us. You have to realize and remember, before you… I kept most people at an arm's length, and for good reason."

"Except for your boys." I interrupted without thinking.

"Only because they were a safe bet. I mean for the most part."

"Till Jake and the pregnancy."

"Yeah. About that. You know things about me that I swore I would never tell anyone. That being said. There's still something I haven't told you, because I never thought it would really matter… Up until recently I refused to believe you and I would ever have anything past the taping of this damn show. Before deciding anything else… when it comes to us actually having a future together… long term… there's something you need to know."

"There's nothing you can tell me that would ever make me change my mind about us. I'm committed to giving you the life you deserve. A good life. With me in it. Whatever you're about to tell me, I'm still going to love you, and I'm still going to want you to be mine, and only mine. Long term. I made a mistake. You made a mistake. We can get past this. I know we can."

She took in a deep breath and sat up straighter in front of me. "You don't need to sell me anything. I know I want to be with you, and I absolutely want you to want me. You just need to hear everything I have to say first, before you really commit to a future with me, outside of the house and away from this bubble we've found here in Charleston."

"Bella,"

"Shhhh! Just listen!" she brashly demanded with her eyes now sealed shut in front of me. Her foot began bobbing up and down nervously over her knee and her hands were back to fumbling with her dreads. "I want us… I really do… I want us to be together, but you have to know, because I know there are some things you want for your future… there are things I won't be able to give you."

"All I need is you. Nothing else."

"Edward."

"I'm sorry. I'll be quiet." I replied with a frown then took in a deep breath while I waited for her to find the words she needed in order to continue.

"Edward, there's a reason why I've never been uptight about us… using… protection. I… when I fell down the stairs and lost the baby… after everything happened, the doctors told me the chance of me ever becoming pregnant again… well it's pretty much nonexistent. I can't have children, and I know you want them, and I'll never be able to give you that. I'll never be able to give you a son, or a daughter of your own."

I sat there feeling stunned. I thought I knew everything, that she had no more secrets left to tell but I'd obviously been wrong. Her news, it was shocking, but it still didn't change anything for me. Not really. I still loved her. Regardless of whether or not our future would have children in it, I still loved her and needed her in my life, by my side. That was still an absolute fact for me.

"It doesn't matter, Bella. If that's our destiny, then that's our destiny. You're all that matters to me. I meant what I said before. You're all I need. Whatever else happens, or doesn't happen, none of that makes a difference to me. As long as I have you, and as long as your happy having me, that's all I want. That's all I need."

She looked up into my eyes and allowed a smile to slowly spread across her face before throwing herself into my arms, "You're unbelievable," she cried into my shoulder with her own shoulders shaking from her quiet sobs. "You're the greatest thing to ever come into my life, and I so don't deserve you but here you are, and you want me to be yours. Even after everything… you still want me."

"Of course I do. You're my soul mate Bella. I could feel that the moment I saw you when you turned around and stuttered that you thought '_Indian Rock' _was great. I knew you were someone who could, and would, change my life. It just took me a few days to accept it as fact, and it's taken you a little bit longer. That's okay though. You were worth the wait."

She let out a rushed breath from between her lips and sat back to look me in the eyes again. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. For doing what I did. I'm sorry I can't be the perfect, baggage less girlfriend you deserve to have."

"Stop. You and I, we weren't exclusive when all that happened. You didn't do anything wrong. I don't even want to talk about it anymore, and we both came with bullshit stacked in our closet. Neither of us are perfect. That's what makes us fit so perfectly together."

"So, then. This is our do-over?" she asked sounding almost childlike.

"It is. This is _our _do-over, Bella. The last one we will ever need. If you'll have me back? As your one and only?" I quietly replied, tilting her chin up so she would look me in the eyes again. She blinked a few tears back then slowly nodded her head in agreement before bringing her lips towards mine. I kissed her gently holding the side of her face in my hand then ran my palm across her cheek to grasp onto the base of her dreads in order to bring our kiss that much deeper.

Her own hands latched onto my hair while she moaned against my mouth after I'd purposely lifted her up to straddle my hips from above my lap. Slowly, I lowered her backwards so she would be lying beneath me on the soft sleeping bag. After our kiss subsided, I propped myself up on my right arm to look deeply into her chocolate brown eyes while we caught our breath.

"I love you, Edward Masen Cullen. _So_ much. I can finally say it, out loud. To you. For your ears to hear as fact. I love you so much that it almost destroyed me, but in the end, it also made me realize how badly I need and want you in my life." she whispered without breaking our stare.

"It feels fucking amazing to finally hear you say that, Bella. You already know I love you too, and I know you said something about taking things slow so," She immediately covered my mouth with her index finger and smiled up at me.

"Forget what I said. Kiss me. Touch me. Tell me I'm yours, and you're mine," she whispered while her finger traced my bottom lip seductively. I growled at her command and immediately returned my mouth to hers, thrusting my body between her legs so she would feel what her words had done to me. She moaned loudly as her hands sensually traveled down my back, her nails digging into me with such need, such hunger… She was already driving me wild thanks to my undying desire and obsession to have all of her in ways no one else had, or would ever have again.

"Fuck I hate this damn cast so much right now." I whispered into her ear after biting on her ear lobe with my teeth. I wanted to feel every inch of her body with my hands but I knew the hard fiberglass material on my right palm and forearm would be the last thing she'd want rubbing against her skin.

"I don't mind a little _rough_ foreplay, Edward." she returned with a giggle then gave me a light shove upward so she could pull my shirt from my body. I quickly tugged at her sweater and grunted at the sight of her lace leopard print bra she'd been wearing underneath its material. It was chilly out but right now neither of us seemed bothered by it. I reached out to run my left palm up the center of her stomach then continued my touch up between her breasts towards her neck. Gently, I pushed her back down so she would be lying beneath me while I watched her chest rise and fall with her poorly paced breathing.

"Are you cold?" I asked after leaning down to kiss her neck, and the skin of her clavicle.

"No. I've never felt more on fire in my entire life, M&M," she toyed back, pulling me down against her to press her mouth firmly against mine. She hooked her leg behind my hip and began running her hand down my chest towards the top of my jeans where she instantly began fumbling with the button and zipper of my pants. The thought of having her like this, here under the stars, in the dead of night, with no one else around… my cock was already pulsing and we'd barely begun.

Without even realizing it, my hands had undone the button of the pants she was wearing and I was pulling them down past her thighs and ankles while she started to switch positions with me. She pushed me backwards so she would be able to straddle my lap from above me and smiled down before anxiously biting on her bottom lip. I carefully ran my hands down her hips and across her thighs while she sat there above me, looking down lustfully into my eyes. Her stare was locked on only me while my own eyes scanned her flawless body from where she hovered above me on her knees.

I looked her up and down, and side to side, taking all of her in. Realizing just how much I had missed, and needed her, I felt my own breath hitch over the sight of her perfection. My eyes began to follow my hands as they carefully became reacquainted with every inch of her skin. I couldn't help but notice the remnants of tiny bruises on her upper thighs. I looked back up into her eyes as I gently touched the faded marks and frowned. She looked sad for a moment but only offered me a shake of her head. I quickly realized the bruises were more than likely self-inflicted and felt my heart tighten with grief. Slowly, I brought my self down to kiss the marks with my lips. I knew better than to question how or why they were there. I only hoped she would never feel the need to do anything like that to herself again.

My hands reached behind her back to unfasten her bra so I'd be able to quickly remove it from her body. I traced the scripted tattoo that lined the bottom of her breast and leaned in to take her erect nipple into my mouth. She moaned and latched onto my hair tugging my head so I'd move to the other side of her chest. I bit down with my teeth, causing her to release a quiet yelp and tug my head back with a pull of my hair clenched in her hand.

"Gentle," she warned with a smirk.

"I thought you said you didn't mind it _rough_," I toyed back playfully. She smiled and shifted her weight so she'd have better access to my pants then carefully lifted herself up from my lap so I'd be able to remove the article of clothing completely from my body. Her fingers traced the lining of my boxers between their material and my skin while she looked deeply into my eyes.

"You're going to make me scream your name, Edward. _Your_ name is going to echo off these cement walls, and my eyes are not going to leave your face while it happens," she warned while running her palm across my swollen dick from the outside of my boxers.

"Challenge accepted, Rock Star." I replied with a grunt just as she'd reached in to circle her fingers around my throbbing member to slowly begin pumping the part of my body that wanted her the most at the moment. "Fuck." I glanced down to appreciate her handiwork for a few seconds then clenched my teeth with a loud moan escaping past my lips.

"Shhhh, eyes up here. On me." she demanded, still moving her hand between us with pure perfection, "I missed you so much, Edward. Every part of you. So much."

"I missed you too baby. So fucking much." I easily shared as I leaned up to press my forehead against hers. She kissed me long and hard, holding my bottom lip between her teeth while her body began to grind itself over my hardened cock. She circled her hips against me with absolute purpose a few more times then slowly moved her body backwards to lift herself up onto her knees just out of my reach. I watched her shift her weight to remove her black panties and hover herself over me with pure lust in her eyes. "Come here," I prompted gesturing with my finger for her to move her body forward as I laid all the way back beneath her. She grinned and shook her head to toss her dreads back behind her shoulder then carefully began moving her body on her knees to hover her stunning pussy above my face. I slowly dipped my index and middle digits past her opening and instantly felt the excitement I had already drawn from her body. "So wet. Just the way I like you, Rock Star." I removed my fingers to slide them past my lips to taste her on my skin then forcefully placed my hands over her hips to bring her dampened opening against my mouth. The taste of her on my tongue instantly untamed me. I couldn't get enough. I pumped my fingers beside my hungry lips while I continue to lap every ounce of her up. Feeling her move her hips over me after her own hand had reached back to take my cock and slowly stroke it like the pro she was with her perfect grasp… I was currently experiencing heaven on earth and I wanted it to last forever.

It was an unbelievable feeling to have her this way again.

_Unfuckingbelievable. _

I looked up to find her staring down at me, just as she had promised. Her eyes had never left my face. She released my dick from her grasp to run her hand and fingers into my hair while she continued to swirl her body over my opened mouth, following my rhythm and moaning as if she were teetering on the edge of pure bliss and euphoria.

"So goddamn good. You and your mouth fucking _own_ me, Edward Cullen," she whispered with an exasperated huff, then bit at her lip again. An impulsive grunt escaped past my own lips upon feeling her grasp return to my cock, bringing me one step closer to losing it myself after hearing her words.

"Slow down, baby. You're going to make me come." I warned her, once I'd removed my mouth from between her legs for just a moment. She smirked watching me as I carefully returned my tongue against the space between her legs then slowly nodded her head before bringing her hands to her perked nipples to firmly pinch them between her finger tips.

"I'm about to come myself." She moaned closing her eyes for a split second after I'd pushed a third finger inside of her. "Fuck, Edward. I'm coming. So hard! Don't you dare stop, Edward!" Within seconds she was trembling from my touch and falling forward over me onto her elbows giggling in ecstasy. She remained on her hands and knees while I carefully removed myself from under her. I smiled to myself, admiring my own handiwork then playfully slapped her ass with my left hand. The sound of my palm meeting the skin of her backside echoed off the walls and she turned back to smirk at me from over her shoulder.

"You and your damn _magical-mouth_."

"I'm glad you appreciate it. Wait… magical… mouth… M&M? Holy shit! I figured it out!" I laughed running my hand through my hair. I could already see her blushing and instantly knew I really had solved the mystery. "Nice. Wow… that's like the best damn nickname ever."

"Hush… Rock Star is the best nickname _ever_. Now lay back down. I'm not done with you." she demanded turning around to crawl back on top of me. I followed her command and reached my arms out to bring her back over me. Her eyes looked deeply into mine as she lifted herself over my cock and firmly held it with her hand just beneath her. I watched her take in a deep breath as she slowly lowered herself down allowing me to finally impale her insides with absolute need. "Jesus Fuck, your dick Edward. It feels so goddamn good inside of me." she moaned while she rode my cock with purpose from above me. She tugged on her hair at the top of head while her other arm pressed her hand against my chest with her body rising and falling above me in perfect rhythm with my own movements. Her eyes still never leaving my own stare.

She was incredible. She made sex seem like goddamn art and it was only half of the reason why I loved her as much as I did.

I pressed myself upward, further into her, and smirked at the sight of her pleading eyes. She was silently begging me to bring her closer towards screaming my name at the top of her talented lungs. I reached up with my left hand and tweaked her nipple then raised my body to sit up so I'd be able to bring her breast to my mouth while I continued to lift her up and down over me.

"So good. You feel so fucking good on my cock, Bella." I moaned looking up at her where she was still staring down at my own ravaged expression. She smiled and licked her lips as she laid backwards arching her back and sopping wet pussy upwards towards me.

"It's like our bodies were made for one another." she shared, just above a whisper. "I still can't believe you really exist. I can't believe you're really mine." She reached out to run her hand through my hair then tugged my face down to kiss me with her lips long and hard while I continued to pull myself in and out of her with needful force.

"I love you, Bella Swan. So much." I promised her as she pressed herself further against me. Her eyes softened over my words, and I could feel us both nearing our finish.

"Fuck… I'm going to come again. Fuck me Edward. Harder! Oh god! I love you! I'm coming. I'm coming so hard, Edward!"

Our stare never broke. Her eyes had remained locked with mine the entire time it took for her body to release itself to me, trembling and quaking with her every word. Every explicative that left her mouth her eyes had stared into mine. I felt my own orgasm quickly take over as I grasped her chin with my hand to press our foreheads together.

"You're my girl, Bella. No one else's. Never again. I'm going to love you forever, until our last page is written. Fuck, so good. You are so unbelievably good." I affirmed before releasing myself into her, then falling on top of her naked body, breaking our record breaking stare.

We laid under the moon, my arms wrapped around her while I felt her heart beating against my chest and her warm breath against my neck. "You're incredible," she whispered with a light giggle then burrowed her face deeper between my shoulder blade. "Ridiculously skilled in the art of love making."

"You're the artists. You make it easy."

"Did you just call me easy, Edward?"

I laughed at her question and ran my hand down her back to pull her further against me. "No, Bella. You definitely haven't made anything outside of _this,_ easy." I replied quietly with a second laugh. She nodded her head with a devious smirk then took in a deep breath before collapsing back down into me. "You've made me a very happy man. With you by my side… it's all I'll ever need. Besides, babies only get in the way of moments like this." I teased hoping to make her smile.

She was instantly over thinking again. I could always tell when she switched gears. I didn't even need to see her eyes to know anymore.

"What is it?" I asked before changing my mind.

"It's nothing."

"Don't make me call you a liar, Rock Star." I warned with an easy smirk.

She shrugged against me and let out a soft sigh, "I just had an extremely impulsive and crazy thought."

I had to bite. "How crazy?" she tensed up against me and slowly wiggled herself free from my arms to sit up and grab her clothes. I watched her get dressed while she continued to avoid my eyes and shake her head mechanically. She was trying to decide whether or not she would share her crazy thought with me, or keep it to herself. "Come on, no more secrets, remember? We promised." I pushed, grabbing for my own shirt and pants.

"It's not a secret. It's just a thought I had. It was stupid though. You obviously fucked me senseless." she teased with a forced smile then leaned back down to kiss my lips firmly. "Come on, it's getting cold. I miss sharing my bed with you, and I'm ready to fall asleep in your arms."

It bothered me that she wouldn't share what was on her mind but it was absolutely expected. I had to accept that in being with Bella, it would also mean still only getting bits and pieces some of the time. As long as it was only with the small stuff…. I wouldn't let it get to me.

I knew she would eventually let me in on her newest, 'crazy thought'.

It was only a matter of time.

"I think… I think I just made a life changing decision that I'll want you to be a part of… I just need to make sure it would be possible, and that it's not just a crazy ass idea. I think I might be able to give us both everything."

Her cryptic babbling forced me to narrow my eyes in her direction. I knew better than to press for more information. Maybe tomorrow with a fresh new day. Maybe then she would be ready to fill me in. For now I just wanted to get her back to the house, in her bed, and in my arms.

I couldn't wait to have my first goodnights sleep since last Saturday night when I'd feared I may never see her again, let alone feel her against my body again.

We'd made unbelievable progress tonight. We were back… On track. Things were good. We'd earned this moment. Nothing could ruin that. I would never let that happen.

* * *

**A/N: So kind of poor timing on the revelation that Bella can't have babies, right after Mothers Day. A bit ironic how that worked out. Anyways... with all that aside, I hope this chapter still left you smiling. These two have overcome so much, and they've really come a long way thanks to the obvious love they truly have for one another.**

**Any guesses on what Bella might have been thinking about at the end of this chapter? **

**Next update could be it, and then the epi... although there's a chance it may turn into 2 chapters. As you know, once I get to work, and before I know it, my chapters become epic in length. Truthfully there's still quite a bit to cover before wrapping things up but I may surprise myself. Next chapter is half way finished (in parts I need to weave together now, which is where the wordiness happens, ha!) but I want it to be perfect so it may be a little more than a week for the update. Just a heads up.**

*****Please please please review. I love feed back, and I love hearing from you. Your thoughts keep me motivated and committed to giving these two and their story the ending it deserves. I'll also reply with a outtake from EPOV from when they're at the school during this chapter.*****

**Till next time. **


	26. Permanent Decisions For A New Reality

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem._

**A/N: Well, this is it. I won't waste any time here. I'll instead save all my ramblings, and thank you's for the end of the chapter in my long winded closing A/N. There is a not so surprising announcement though, so be sure to at least skim it. *wink* **

**Here we go...**

* * *

**Permanent Decisions For A New Reality**

**Chapter 26**

**~Edward~**

The sun wasn't even up yet so naturally I was surprised to find Bella absent from my arms when I woke up. I rubbed my eyes with my hand and slowly scanned the room. James wasn't even awake yet, and he normally got up to watch the day start with it's sunrise during his morning jog. Bella was no where to be seen. I stretched my arms out in front of me and instantly noticed something different about my cast. I moved it in front of my face and felt a slow smile spread across my lips.

Someone had taken a black Sharpie to the white fiberglass wrapped around my forearm.

There was a huge heart drawn at the center of it, and in the middle of the heart the letters, '_B & E -AAF-_' were printed in my girls sloppy cursive handwriting. Along the outside of the heart, in smaller print, were the words, 'I love you M&M'.

I could feel my face beaming over the sight of her very public, hand written declaration.

This was huge. She was no longer afraid who knew or what they would have to say about it. None of that mattered anymore. We were all that mattered and it felt fucking amazing to finally know she'd accepted and believed that herself.

I carefully kicked the blanket from my body, pulled my t-shirt on over my head, and quietly made my way down the stairs. The house was silent and for a second I wondered if she was still even here. That's when I noticed the soft light coming from the computer room. After sticking my head in I saw her body leaned in towards the monitor with her face propped above her closed fists lost in the words she was so obviously reading before her wide eyes.

"Morning, beautiful." I whispered from the doorway. She jerked up and quickly closed out of the screen she'd been carefully scanning instantly looking ridiculously guilty.

That only bothered me… a lot.

"Hey! Um. You scared me."

"What'cha do'in?" I asked stepping further in to come take a seat on the floor beside her chair.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep." She was selling me one of her famous half-truths. Yeah I was well aware of their existence. Her flustered expression had already given her away though. She was up to something, and whatever it was, I had interrupted it.

"Well, I like what you did with my cast."

"I thought you might," she teased back then stood up to come sit herself in my lap. She draped her arms over my shoulders and leaned her lips in to take my mouth against hers, kissing me softly three times before releasing a quiet sigh, "My body is still tingling from last night," she whispered then playfully bit at my ear lobe.

I smiled and ran my hands down her hips to drawl her in closer against me, "Well, there's more where that came from."

She giggled and kissed my neck then casually glanced back at the computer.

"What's on your mind?" I prompted, knowing something was bothering her. She shrugged and leaned back while she swiftly tied her dreads up into one of her signature chaotic pony tails at the top of her head.

"It's nothing that needs to be decided right away,"

"But?"

"But… I was just wondering… what's going to happen when the show wraps?" she finally asked, avoiding my eyes now.

Truthfully, I'd been wondering the same thing, so I didn't really have an answer for her. "What do you want to happen, Bella?" I was honestly hoping she would shock me with an actual response of her own and not just turn the question back around onto me.

"Well, my house is in Oregon."

"Oh is this a real-estate talk? Well, I have a house in Cali and Hawaii." I teased, trying to help her relax a little.

"Stop. You know what I'm asking. How are we… what are we going to do. How do we decide? Do you want me to come back with you? Should I go home? I totally don't expect you to move to my Podunk town in Oregon so are we going to do a long distance thing and meet up on the weekends?"

"What?! No! I mean… no way in hell, about the long distance thing. I want you with me. Every morning when I wake up, I want you to be the first thing I see. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, I want you there beside me." I confessed feeling almost panicked over the idea of ever going days again without seeing her.

She smiled and nodded her head then took in a deep breath, "So then, what are we going to do?"

I considered her question for a few seconds then answered as honestly as I could. "I want you with me, Bella. I know it would be hard for you to leave your friends, but… I think it would be better for us… if we found a happy medium and found a place together, in Cali. My work is there, all my endorsement deals, the beach, places to skate… not to mention, after the show airs, I have a feeling you'll be hearing from several different recording labels. All of that will be so much easier to do out in L.A. The only thing keeping you in Oregon, is well, your boys. Which I get. I really do, but we can go visit, they can come visit us. It's what, an hour flight? That should be do-able. Right?"

She sat silently nodding her head again, letting my words settle, while she considered everything I'd just suggested.

"So then, you want to live together? Me and you? Our own place? In California?"

"I'll sell the place I have now, and we'll get something brand new that we can make our own. I'd like to keep my place in Hawaii though. We can go there to get away, and it's been in my family for years." I explained.

"But, you're really asking me to move in with you?"

"Yes, you nut. I want us to live together. Without cameras. Without roommates."

"In California?" she asked again, her eyes finally looking up into mine.

"Would that be okay?" I was feeling nervous all of the sudden. She didn't seem exactly thrilled about the idea.

"What if… what if I wanted to stay _here_… a little while longer?"

Her suggestion shocked me. "Here? In Charleston? Why on earth would you want to do that?" This I had not expected.

"I have my reasons, I just need to know, if that's what I wanted to do, if it's something I _needed _to do, would you stay here with me? Not forever. Just a little while longer." she asked sounding anxious while her hands began to tug at her hair at the top of her head nervously.

I narrowed my eyes and forced her chin upwards so she would look at me, "What's this about, Bella?"

She took in a deep breath then exhaled slowly through her pursed lips, "I need to talk to some people first… but what if… God I can't even bring myself to say it out loud. If it seems this crazy in my head, I can only imagine how it will sound after it passes across my tongue." She was standing now, pacing while tugging on her dreads in front of her shoulder. "What if… what if I wanted to try to adopt Bree?"

I laughed before realizing how cruel it might initially seem. She looked over at me and narrowed her eyes then firmly crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I told you it was crazy, but you didn't have to laugh at the idea."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, it's just… that's a huge responsibility. It's definitely something you should take your time to think about."

_Has she lost her mind? _

_Did she accidentally bang her head on the cement after she'd collapsed over the orgasm you'd forced upon her body, Cullen?_

"It makes perfect sense really. It's not like she's an infant that requires twenty-four hour, around the clock care… she's three years shy of being a teenager. All she wants is someone who will love her, listen to her, and understand her. I can give her all of that. I can do that for her. Not to mention I have more money than I know what to do with. I can give her a good life. A life she deserves," she insisted sounding absolutely serious.

She sounded serious because she was serious.

Dead serious.

I shook my head trying to find the right words then slowly stood up to stop her from pacing. I placed my hands on her shoulders and leaned my forehead down to press it against her own so she would be forced to look into my eyes. "If that's what you want, then I'll be here supporting you every step of the way. I can stay and train at the skate park here in town, and at the abandoned school grounds. You just have to come to Cali with me for the actual games. If you can promise me that… if this is really truly something you want and believe you're ready for… then I'm in. Sign me up."

"It is! I really do want this, and of course I would come to Cali for the comp! Maybe Bree could even come!"

I smiled at her obvious excitement once she threw her arms around my neck to hug me then let out an impulsive sigh, "You're sure about this though? This is really something you're ready to do? We can come back and visit Bree you know. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. There will be other kids to adopt. We don't have to do this right now." I carefully pointed out.

"I know. I want to do this though. At least try. I mean I could have had a newborn at this point in my life. Bree is amazing. She's like… she could be my own flesh and blood. I don't want anyone else. I want her. I looked everything up online. I just need to talk to Esme. I think it would be easier though if we stayed here. As far as the paper work to get things started and everything. We'll just find a nice place to rent. It only takes a year and then the adoption would be finalized and then we could move to California. We might be able to go before then, I just know it takes twelve month to really make it all legally binding, and it helps if you live in the same state where the adopting child is from."

"You've done your homework."

"I think I slept for three hours before sneaking down here to get to work." she confessed as she sat back down in front of the computer to show me everything she'd been looking at. She even had Bree's actual adoption page up. I smiled seeing her familiar smug grin on the screen.

"Bella, why does it say 'adoption pending' at the bottom?"

"It must be that stupid family and their Stanley."

"Stanley?"

_What the hell was a Stanely? _

"Yeah. That's their sons name. Who names their kid Stanley?" she asked with a snicker.

"But, if it's pending?" I started to say before she quickly interrupted me.

"Bree would have to be okay with it. She gets a say. They wouldn't place her unless she was comfortable with it, and once she knows I want to adopt her… well… she'll be ecstatic. No contest. Game over."

It was absolutely insane to me that we were really having this conversation, but at the same time, it was just like Bella had said. It made perfect sense. She was one of the most flighty people I'd ever met though. Granted she'd been making an effort to change that, and if anyone could motivate her to really stay grounded, I knew it was Bree, but a part of me was still slightly weary about the idea.

"I'm going to call Esme in a few hours. Maybe I should just go to the school? To show her how serious I am about this. Would you come with me?"

"What? Me? Um, sure. Yeah. I'll go with you. Whatever you need." I swiftly replied, meaning every word I'd said.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to co-sign as her adopted father. I wouldn't expect that of you. Besides, were not married. It would actually make things more complicated if we tried to both adopt her without a ring on our fingers." she shared avoiding my eyes.

"So you looked into that too, did you?" I was smirking now for some reason.

"I might have glanced at it. This is all me though. Like I said, I don't expect anything from you accept actual acceptance that I would have a new responsibility in my life." she replied then took in another deep breath. "I want her Edward. I want her to be a part of my life, of our life, forever."

"Okay then. I want what you want. You know I think she's awesome. I couldn't ask for a better kid to help raise. Let's make this happen. Whatever it takes, Bella. Let's do it."

"Really?"

"Really. I think she'd be good for you. I mean… I think she would help you find the purpose you've been searching for." I replied taking her into my arms again. She smiled and slowly nodded her head agreeing with me.

"She's definitely helped fill a void. I really believe I can do this. I really think this is the right thing for me to do."

"Then that's all that matters. Now come on. Let's go lay down 'til the clock strikes nine. I want to hold you in my arms and whisper into your ear how much I love everything about you."

Truthfully my head was spinning over all of this. A part of me was still expecting to wake up and find the last twenty minutes were nothing more than an insane dream. I knew that wasn't the case though. This was absolutely real and Bella had every intention to adopt a ten year old orphan. This was my new reality and as twisted as it was… I was excited about it.

* * *

When we got to the school Bella attached herself to my arm and gave me a nervous smile after looking up into my eyes. "I feel like I'm going to see the principle after getting in trouble, but we haven't even done anything wrong." she joked with a light laugh.

I smiled and shook my head. "You're going to do great. There's nothing to be nervous about."

_Ignoring the fact that Esme could tell her she's crazy and the state would never award someone like her custody of a child in the system. _

"I'm not going in with high expectations. I'm totally prepared to hear her tell me it would be a terrible idea as well as impossible. I mean, what's going to happen after the show airs? I'm sure her social worker will tune in, and when she sees half the things I've done on camera…"

"Don't worry about that Bella. That's your past. Something you said you're willing and ready to leave behind for Bree." I assured her, not wanting to admit I'd been thinking and worrying about the same thing.

When we walked into the office I felt my body tense up at the sight of Irina sitting at her desk. When she looked up to see me her cheeks instantly flushed and a slow smirk spread across her face. Bella's grasp on my arm quickly increased and for a moment I felt guilty about that.

"Hi Irina. We're here to see Esme. I called a little while ago so she should be expecting us." Bella told her sounding very business-like.

"Yeah. She mentioned you were going to stop by. I was just surprised to see you here too, Edward."

_Oh Lord, can we not make this anymore awkward than it already is?_

"Well, where ever Bella goes, you can usually be sure I'll be right beside her." I spoke up, knowing it would help relax my girl, and also get the point across to Irina that any chance she thought she might have had, it was no longer existent. Not that it ever was in the first place, but that's how girls think, and I wasn't an idiot.

"Right. Of course." She looked as if I'd just punched her in the stomach. "Just knock." she added then gestured towards Esme's door. Bella threw me another nervous glance so I offered her a wink of my eye then began walking us towards the door. After knocking we heard Esme call out for us to come in. I could feel Bella's hand trembling in mine now.

"Relax, baby. You're going to do fine." I assured her then leaned down to kiss her forehead firmly before turning the doorknob to let us in.

"Hi guys! It was a nice surprise to get a call from you this morning Bella. Hopefully this is a pleasure visit and not another stress induced one." Esme joked as she gestured for us to take a seat.

"No… no stress… I mean it's nothing bad. I just wanted to talk to you about, um… well. You see, last night, Edward and I, we were talking."

_Amongst other things. _

"And, I guess I just wanted to throw out a thought I had. It's crazy I know, and I'm sure you'll probably laugh when I share it with you, but,"

I watched as Esme slowly opened a drawer to her desk and pulled out a manila folder. She laid it in front of her and casually smiled at the both of us. I eyed the folder then looked back up at her and felt a slow smirk spread across my own face.

She already knew why Bella was here. She already knew, and she had everything ready to get the ball rolling.

"You want to adopt Bree Tanner."

Bella gasped and instantly covered her mouth in shock after dropping my hand between us, "How did you? How did you know?!"

"It's part of my job to know these things Ms. Swan." Esme returned with a smile then pushed the folder towards us. Bella grabbed it with her hands and slowly pulled the papers out that had been tucked neatly inside.

"These… they're already filled out. My full name, my social, my birthdate, all of my former addresses, employers, where I went to school, and all of my living family members. You even have references! How in the world?!"

"I'm good at what I do. All I need is your signature at the bottom and I'll get these forms to the right people. We should be able to place Bree in your care by mid-November. That will give the two of you a few weeks of alone time to get use to life without cameras. Now Edward what will be your role in all of this?"

I looked at Bella and smirked at the sight of her expression. Her eyes and mouth were still wide open from shock. "Wait wait wait. Esme. I want to know. How did you know I would come to you and want this?" she asked again with a serious face after interrupting our boss.

"Bella, I know you. I know all about _all_ of you. Do you really think I would let virtual strangers come into the lives of these children and not know everything there is to know about them? I know everything I need to know but most importantly, I know that you love this little girl and she loves you. It was Bree who told me you wouldn't leave her behind. She came to me on Monday and told me you would come back for her and that one day you would be a family."

"She… she did? So then she does want me to adopt her?"

"Of course she does, but I didn't allow her to think it would really be possible. There was no reason to let her get excited about it when I knew you still had to realize and come to terms with it yourself. When you called me this morning I immediately gathered the paper work and got to work. You have your first interview with Bree's social worker tomorrow afternoon. Now back to you Mr. Cullen. Are you on board with this?"

"I'll be there to help Bella. Every step of the way. We already talked about staying here, in order to help the adoption go a little more smoothly. We're planning on renting a place somewhere in the area so she can still go to school with her friends."

"Perfect! That's an excellent decision you've both made. So you will be living in the house with them?"

"Yeah. That's the plan. Full time. Do you think we could take Bree with us at to California in a few weeks for the Dew Games?" I asked taking it upon myself to enquire about flying Bella and her future daughter across the country.

"I don't think it would be a problem, but you'll have to check with her social worker of course. Now you both already went through an extensive background check in order to work here so that _t_ has been crossed, and by putting in time here and completing those children safety courses and first aid videos, we've dotted those i's as well."

"Can I ask a question?"

"Of course. Ask as many as you'd like, Bella." My girl was shaking her left leg nervously from where it was resting over her right knee, and biting nervously at her thumb nail while gathering the courage to share more of what was on her mind.

"What happens if, ok, you see, while taping I've done some questionable things and made quite a few poor choices. Can any of that affect the outcome of me legally becoming Bree's guardian. I don't want to start this and get her hopes up then have someone decide I'm not cut out for the job. I'm putting all that behind me, I swear. My priority will be Bree and… well Edward too of course. No more partying for me though. No more jumping without looking first or running away when things start to get… off track. That's not who I want to be anymore."

I could hear it in her voice how much this possibility worried her. The thought that she might be refused the opportunity to change this little girl's life who would ultimately change her own life in return, it terrified her.

"Once Bree is placed with you in your home, you would have to abuse her in some way physically or mentally, or basically commit first degree murder Bella in order for the state to step in and terminate the adoption process. Keep a roof over her head, keep her fed, cared for, enrolled in school and you'll have no problems at all."

"So nothing I've done,"

"None of that will matter because Bree will already be placed with you before the show starts to air. That's why I want to get these turned in today. The sooner the better. You should however probably do your best to keep her from watching it all play out on TV." Esme teased with a wink.

"Oh God, of course." Bella whispered shaking her head to herself with a hidden smirk and her cheeks suddenly flushed. "I'm truthfully not ashamed of anything I've done. Every choice I made, they all lead me to where I am today, but yeah, I don't want Bree to know about all of those choices just yet."

Esme nodded her head then extended her arm to offer Bella a pen, "Just sign your name on the line below and I'll fax these over right away."

I smiled watching Bella take in a deep breath as she reached out to hold the writing utensil with her fingers. She glanced over at me and bit at her bottom lip before allowing her own smile to spread across her face. "Here I go."

"Here _we _go." I corrected her with an added wink of my eye. Bella took in one more deep breath and quickly signed her name on the paper with unconditional purpose then dropped the pen on the desk in front of her.

"Done."

"Congratulations, Bella. You just took your first step towards forever changing the life of a very special little girl."

Bella smiled and shook her head, "No. I think she's the one who will be changing my life, but I'm absolutely ready for that change."

* * *

**~Bella~**

Our last days in the IRL house had literally flown by. It was Saturday night. In less than an hour people would start trickling in downstairs for the Halloween party my housemates had been working so hard to plan and throw. I was finishing up my makeup in the bathroom when Rose came in to ask if she could borrow my baby blue Louie V heels for her Ice Queen costume.

"Yeah sure. Whatever you want." I mumbled while trying to keep my mouth still as I applied my dark red lip liner.

"You look pretty phenomenal Bella."

"Thanks, Rose. That actually means a lot coming from you." I replied with a smirk while glancing at her reflection in the mirror before standing up straighter to admire my work.

I looked fucking awesome. Phenomenal would work too though.

After all, today had been phenomenally monumental and I was still drifting on cloud nine. Esme had called earlier this morning to let me know my application for Bree's adoption had finally been accepted and approved. Next step would be a home visit, and then follow up interviews with her case worker. Esme had insisted those things would be a piece of cake. Especially since Edward and I had actually signed a lease four days ago on a cute little cabin about ten miles away. It sat on fifteen acres of lush forest before it opened up to the beach. It was a bit of a drive from where we were now, but as soon as I'd found the listing I knew it was the perfect place for us. I'd even gotten the okay from the landlord to have a vert ramp and half pipe built in the back yard so Edward would have a place to practice and train.

In less than two weeks we could be living as a happy family of three.

It seemed almost surreal.

I flinched after the walls began to vibrate around me thanks to the awful house music Emmett had begun to play downstairs on the sound system he'd rented for the party. The boy had the absolute worst taste in music, and my ears were suddenly on the verge of bleeding.

I applied the last of my eyeliner then carefully set the miniature size top hat at an angle on the side of my head and smiled at my reflection. My sexy female version of the Mad Hatter costume was pretty damn flawless if I did say so myself. I smoothed my dress down in front of me then fluffed out its short maroon skirt with my hands before walking out to find Edward lying across my bed with his hands resting behind his head. He was wearing his Captain Jack Sparrow costume looking absolutely delicious. I smirked at the sight of his faux dreads under his pirate hat and gave him an approving thumbs up.

His eyes scanned my body up and down with hunger clearly visible. I felt my cheeks flush instantly betraying me. It was obvious he had only one thing on his mind, and it was fast forwarding to the end of the evening when he could remove my own scandalous costume from my body in order to satisfy his craving. "You're pretty damn hot with dreads, Edward." I affirmed playfully.

He grinned and motioned with his finger for me to come towards him. I did an impulsive pirouette, knowing it would cause my skirt to rise up as I spun around, giving him a peak at my garter belt and lace panties then gently landed myself onto his welcoming lap. "Are you happy, Bella?" he randomly questioned after kissing my shoulder softly with his lips.

"Happier than I've ever been."

"Good. You deserve to be happy." he replied then ran his finger across my cheek bone to tilt my head back so he could have the access he needed to rain kisses down my neck. I moaned over the feel of his touch and felt my body begin to instantly tremble.

"Stupid party." I moaned, wishing we could have just five more minutes alone before being forced to be all sociable. The walls were literally vibrating now, and we could already hear laughter and friendly banter coming up the stairs from the first floor.

"Ah, but this stupid party could very well be your last big night of no responsibilities, Ms. Swan." he softly pointed out, playfully tracing my bottom lip with his finger. I smirked and slowly circled my lips around his isolated digit to bring it into my mouth seductively. He grunted and pulled my face down to kiss me hard with his mouth slightly parted. I remained still with my eyes sealed shut after he pulled away to release me from his kiss, leaving me hungry for more. "Have fun tonight. Get it all out of your system. In two weeks' time… we could have someone who prevents us from experiencing any more nights like this," he further reminded me.

"Why Mr. Cullen, are you giving me a hall pass?" I teased with a playful pout, "Or is this actually you requesting one for yourself?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No way in hell. Just try and have fun. The last few days have been so serious… and just, well, draining. It's hard growing up overnight Ms. Swan. I think we've both earned an evening of care free, age appropriate partying."

I smirked and leaned in to kiss his lips once more, "Fine. You've convinced me. I'll let Hells Bells out to play. One last hurrah till she's pushed far back as a distant memory of the irresponsible girl I once was." I mocked dramatically throwing my hands back behind me.

"Did you call the guys yet? To tell them your news?" he suddenly asked catching me off guard after I'd stood up to slip my heels onto my feet.

"I wrote them an email. I should wake up to a pretty lengthy reply in the morning." I told him trying my best to hide my discomfort. Truthfully I wasn't looking forward to what they might have to say about me becoming a mother to a pre-teen and staying out here a little while longer. I knew they wouldn't exactly approve but I also knew in time they would accept and understand why I'd chosen this path instead of a simpler one they would have expected from me.

"They'll get over it."

"I know they will. Is your agent pissed about you staying out here?" I asked, more than willing to take the attention off of the people in my life that might have issue with my impulsive change in plans.

"Nah. He's just happy I'm ready to get back to work period. He's got a realtor coming out to my house on the beach this weekend to take some pictures for an ad."

I smiled and felt my heart swell with happiness. It was all really happening. We were going to have it all and no one would be able to stand in our way. For the first time in my life, I honestly believed in myself and my future. _Our_ future.

* * *

It was almost after midnight but the party was really just getting started. There was hardly any standing room left inside so people were beginning to trickle outside into the backyard. Much to Alice's disappointed there wasn't much interest in her spooky haunted house set up, so we'd had no choice but to take down the plastic walls to make more room for people to socialize and act a fool.

I was feeling ridiculously tipsy after not having had one drink the entire week. Once I'd started, it was almost as if I'd lost control and began throwing shot after shot back between my lips as they were brought to me by various people. Edward was being a good chaperone though. He hadn't left my side the entire night but to use the bathroom or get me a refill.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and instantly spun around to find Aro's smug smiling face.

"Aro! Hi. Um… wow. I haven't seen you,"

"Since the morning after we spent the night together in your hotel room." he toyed with a devilish smirk. I smacked him with my hand and nervously scanned the area praying Edward was still off fetching us our drinks.

"Seriously. Please behave." I begged latching onto his arm after someone bumped me from behind. He looked down at my hand and smiled again as he leaned in to whisper something into my ear, "It's good to see you Bells. You look good. Better. Happy."

I smiled and nodded my head, "I am. Really good. Extremely happy. Better than I've ever been actually."

"Well, that makes me happy. I heard you and Edward made up,"

"You heard right. We're good. Really good. We actually got a place together." I told him as my eyes looked over his shoulder, still searching for my boyfriend.

"Yup, the old Al Push Cottage. I heard about that too."

_What the hell? How did he…_

"I told you. I know everything that happens in this town." he smirked, as if reading my mind. I laughed and shook my head grinning.

"Apparently you do."

"I'm glad you'll be sticking around a little while longer. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you tonight. I'll go get lost in the crowd though. I can tell my being here is making you nervous. I didn't come to start trouble. Promise. I just wanted to get a chance to say goodbye to everyone else before you all went your separate ways."

I noticed one of the camera guys circling us now and let out an annoyed huff, "No. It's fine. You and Edward should talk. I mean not like talk-talk… you know what I mean. I want you guys to be cool." and as if on cue, there he was. Edward didn't look pleased but he didn't look like he was about to punch Aro in the face either. That was a major step forward in the right direction.

"Hey man. Nice party." Aro spoke up over the music then extended his hand out towards Edward. After a few agonizingly awkward seconds he handed me my drink to free up his own hand and firmly shook Aro's. I felt myself once again able to breathe. "No hard feelings, bro. Like I've said before, you can't blame me for trying. I think we all know, though, I truthfully never had a chance. I'm sorry it had to go down the way it did. Demetri is a dick. I just want you to know I had nothing to do with all that shadiness."

Edward allowed a slow smirk to escape past his lips and nodded his head, "Yeah. I can't blame you for trying. We're straight. Bella told me about you going to see her, and talking some sense into her stubborn head. I appreciate that. If I see your buddy though, I can't say I won't kick his ass."

I smiled watching their exchange and felt my shoulders relax as I took a sip from my vodka and diet coke.

"Oh, Dem and I are no longer friends. I'm done with his bullshit. He's crossed the line one too many times with people I care about." he stopped and gave me an awkward smile then stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Alright well, I'll see you guys a little later. I see a hot blonde over there whose begging for my attention." Aro declared casting me a quick wink of his eye after slapping Edward's shoulder. I laughed and leaned into my boyfriend to tell him just how amazing he was before casually sliding my hand down his chest towards the space between his carefully tattered pirate pants to give him a longing squeeze.

"Want to go make-out in the bathroom?" I teased into his ear after standing on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

"We've got a camera on our heels. Let's wait till we lose him, Rock Star."

I posed an exaggerated frown but ultimately nodded my head to agree with him. As relaxed as he had been with Aro, I could sense that deep down the exchange, and also seeing him talking with me, it had gotten under his skin. In time though, I had to believe that he would forget all about the ugly, and we would all be able to carry on as if it had never happened.

Time healed all wounds, and now more than I ever, I had no choice but to believe that.

Without thinking twice about it_, _I took Edward by the arm and began leading him through the crowd of people towards the less crowded sitting room where the house piano sat in the corner. Typically I stayed away from grand pianos. They reminded me way too much of my grandfather and our music lessons, but tonight I was feeling the over whelming urge to lay my fingertips over its ivory keys. It must have been the return of alcohol in my belly, maybe the atmosphere, or maybe it was just my sudden need to let Edward know he really was it for me, and there would never be anyone else.

I took a seat on the bench and opened the black glossy cover to playfully run my index and ring fingers reciprocally over the center E and B keys.

"Are you going to play me something?" Edward teased in my ear after taking a seat beside me. A few people around us had stopped to take notice, but they quickly returned to their conversation after I began playing a soft slow melody to avoid their stare and purposely lose their interest.

"Maybe. _Something_." I teased then threw back the rest of my drink between my lips to swallow it down. My fingers gently pressed on the keys that would begin the song I'd written and given to Edward just two weeks ago when I thought our shared world had imploded. We'd made it past so much bullshit, and we were still standing, stronger than ever.

He smiled realizing what it was that I was playing and gently pulled my hair back behind me to grant his lips access to my shoulder blade. I closed my eyes letting his touch relax me as my body began shifting its weight to the melody my fingertips had begun to play. Now was as good a time as ever to grant him his request. Maybe not the most romantic of moments but at the same time, me publicly sharing an original song I'd written for him… about him, in a room full of people... Hopefully he would realize how far this took me out of my comfort zone. I pushed everything else out. Ignoring the side banter, and conversations that circled us, I allowed the music to pull me in and lift me up the same way it always did when I was alone outside our bedroom window, or out on my bench under the stars at the abandoned school yard.

My lips slowly parted to take in a deep breath before anxiously exhaling in hopes of further settling my nerves.

_Now or never, Swan. Sing as if it's only you and him on his deserted island somewhere in the South Pacific._

"'You can't run from who you are.'  
That's what they told me.  
'You'll always look back-to regret,  
This part of your journey.'

Keep moving forward.  
Reverse is not an option.  
The decisions you make today,  
They can't always be forgotten.

But if I… If I tried.  
If I forgot for a second,  
Who I am and who I'd vowed to never be,  
That's all it would take,  
That's all you said we'd ever need.

I tried to lie to myself, I pretended it was nothing.  
But you knew all along,  
What it could mean to be that someone.

You're everything I've never wanted.  
But all I've ever needed.  
You made me accept it,  
The things I've never believed in.

But if I… If I tried.  
If I forgot for a second,  
Who I was and who I'd become,  
That's all it would take,  
To prove to them they were wrong.

Rules were in place.  
But boundaries were still broken.  
Limits were tested.  
Day after day,  
Moment after moment,  
Soon everyone would know it.

But you-  
You always believed,  
Believed-in-me.  
You refused to let me go.  
You forced me to listen  
and now its because of you,  
That I-am-here still-standing.

Everyday, I'll cross my heart.  
I'll cross my heart, and hope to live forever,  
Standing here next to you,  
Until our last page is written."

I played out the end of the song and slowly pressed down on the last keys. I carefully opened my eyes after a roar of applause filled the room. I could feel my cheeks instantly flush. Everyone around us had apparently stopped to listen and all eyes were still on me. Finally, I found the courage to look up into Edwards beaming eyes and I felt my insides turn to mush all over again.

"You added some new lyrics," he gently whispered after leaning down to kiss my lips.

"Yeah… you might have inspired that last line the other night." I confessed with a smirk remembering his sexually charged, heartfelt declaration while we were laying naked under the stars at the bottom of the cement pool when he'd made me scream his name repeatedly.

"I love it. And I love you, Bella Swan."

I nodded my head and leaned into him, purposely holding his own, 'I love you too' hostage on my tongue because I knew he already knew it to be true.

"Ready to go make-out yet?" I toyed as I playfully ran my hand up his thigh.

"Oh, I'm ready to do more than that." He growled then swiftly lifted me up off the seat to cradle me in his arms. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck feelings ridiculously happy and in love.

_To think. This was what you've been running from all this time._

_Shut it. It took me this long to find him so the amount of time it's taken… none of that matters. It's because of him that I'm able to feel this now. It's because of him that I'm no longer scared of being the girl I thought I never wanted to be._

Edward continued to move us up the stairs all the way to the bathroom in the hallway since our own bathroom still had a hole punched through the door, and the only place for any kind of privacy in this house was a room with a toilet in it. All you had to do was get behind the frosted glass of a shower stall and you were good to go.

"Thank you." I moaned, his teeth nibbling at the side of my neck and then my ear lobe as he pressed me into the cold tile wall.

"For?" he asked with a rushed breath against my cheek.

I smiled and shook my head before answering him, "Everything." he kissed my forehead. "Loving me." he kissed my lips, "Saving me." he kissed my neck, "Believing in me." he took my face between his hands and pressed his forehead against mine to stare me in the eyes.

"I never would have given up on you, Bella" he gently took my hand to press it against his heart, and I felt a happy tear escape past my lashes. "It was never an option. I could never in a thousand years let you go. You are my everything now. Now and always. You and me."

"And Bree." I added staring deeply into his eyes.

He smiled and nodded his head, "Of course. You, me, and Bree."

* * *

It was Halloween night. Our very last night in the house, but not our last night here in Charleston. Tonight would be the night where three lives changed forever. The only thing left was the approval of a ten year old little girl.

"God damn woman… I've never wanted to fuck a dead thing so badly in my entire life." Edwards wicked voice announced from the doorway as I shimmied myself into my torn leather pants and ripped black sweater.

"Pft, it doesn't take much to turn you on, M&M." I teased as I made my way towards him.

"Not when it comes to you... Or me thinking about all the things I want to do with you, to you. Unfortunately, we should get going though.. Are you ready for your talk with lil Miss Tanner?"

I nodded my head and took in a deep breath, "Yup. I got the all clear. All we need is her okay and we can move forward with the next step."

"She better give her okay. We're stuck in that lease!" he toyed drawling me in up against him to hug me tight.

"She'll give the okay." I insisted then gently kissed his lips after standing on my toes.

He took an impulsive step back and held his arms up in front of me, "Don't smudge my makeup!" he joked with a devious grin before suddenly stepping forward again to lift me up and cradle me in his arms. I couldn't help but giggle over his action as he carried me through the beaded curtain and down the stairs.

"You two have fun! Leaving us here to clean up last nights party while you go trick-or-treating! So nice of you. Really." Rose snickered as we passed her on the stairs.

"That was ya'alls little shin-dig. I'd have been happy with a night of group hugs and cuddles." I replied throwing my hand back at her from Edwards arms.

"Yeah yeah. Just make sure you bring me back a Snickers."

"Yes mam!" Edward quickly answered our hung over looking roommate then bumped the front door open with his hip to carry us out to the taxi that was already waiting at the end of the driveway for us. It was definitely chilly out tonight. Perfect Halloween weather though, so I knew Bree would be feeling extra excited about our little adventure.

When we got into the car Edward gave the driver the address then smoothly pulled me back up against him to kiss my temple. "You're shaking Bella."

"I'm feeling discouragingly nervous all of the sudden."

"There's nothing to be nervous about. She's going to be thrilled. She's going to know something's up though before you're ready to tell her if you don't find a way to relax." he warned tilting my chin up so I'd look him in the eyes.

I nodded my head and forced a smile. "Okay. I'm good. I should have taken a shot before we left the house." Edward laughed and shook his head disagreeing with me. He really did look adorably sexy for a zombie. His hair was spiked out on top of his head in all different directions. Even with dark circles under his eyes and fake blood on his face, courtesy of Alice's costume makeup skills, he still looked positively delicious.

"You didn't need a shot. You've got this, baby." he assured me with a wink of his eye as we pulled up in front of the boarding house.

"Go time." I whispered with a smile creeping across my face after seeing Bree come running out the door towards our taxi. She'd obviously been waiting at the window. I opened the door and laughed watching her drag a beaten up looking stuffed dog on a makeshift leash behind her. I greeted her with my arms opened to hug her tightly then told her she'd done a phenomenal job with her own zombie costume.

"Thanks, we all got twenty bucks to spend. I made a killing and also saved us money by suggesting we get one make up kit and share it instead of all of us buying our own. I'm the only zombie though. All the other girls are being stupid princesses or Pop Stars. So lame. Nettie got stuck with a clown costume. You should have heard how pissed she was." Bree laughed then hugged Edward. I caught him smiling as he returned the embrace and looked back over at me, offering another encouraging wink of his eye.

I noticed Esme walking towards now with a guarded smile and waved hello. She was wearing a cow girl outfit and the sight of her had me stifling my laughter.

"Happy Halloween to the best Zombie family to ever grace these grounds." Esme greeted us then gave me a hug. I smiled and nodded my head afraid that my voice might crack if I tried to say anything in response. "Just have her back by ten thirty. You three have a wonderful time. Be safe."

"Of course. Tell the other kids we said hi!" Edward spoke up for me when it was obvious I was still too chicken to open my mouth. Bree glanced up at me and frowned for a moment then swiftly took my hand into hers.

"You can't be sad about saying goodbye yet. We still have tonight, Ms. Bella. Chin up, as Mrs. Esme would say." I laughed and nodded my head then quickly brought her in for another hug.

"Wise words lil'miss. Let's go get some candy!" She grinned in response and flashed me a thumbs up then quickly wiggled free from my arms and climbed into the back of the cab.

* * *

When we pulled up to the small cottage with the _All American_ white picket fence I squeezed Edwards hand that was already resting beside my leg and took in a shallow breath. We'd just spent the last two hours walking door to door begging for candy. Bree had been too busy ranting about people who gave out bags of pretzels or diner mints instead of sweets, to really pay much attention to where our cab was taking us.

"Where are we?" Bree asked realizing that we'd come to a stop. "I thought we were done getting candy?"

"We are, this is a pit stop, before taking you back to the boarding house." Edward answered for me.

_You're going to have to talk, Swan. Pull your shit together woman._

"Oh, okay. I don't mind being dragged along to say bye to your other friends before you have to leave tomorrow. The more time I get with you guys the better. We could go sit in a boring math class for all I care." Bree teased with a smirk before throwing a tootsie roll into her mouth. I laughed nervously and pushed the door open with my hand then slowly reached into my pocket to pull the key out that would unlock the front door. "It doesn't look like anyone is home." she added walking ahead of us. Edward took my hand back into his and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"It's okay. We can go inside. I have a key." I spoke up causing Bree to turn around and give me a suspicious look.

"Because that's not weird." she replied lowly then held her hand open to take the key from me.

Edward chuckled and shrugged at me when I gave him a warning glare, "What? She's absolutely right. _Weirdo, random key keeper_." he snickered then pinched my ass playfully while we waited for Bree to unlock the door. I heard the lock click and took in a loud anxious breath that caused both of them to look towards me.

"You okay Ms. Bella? Is this place haunted or something?" Bree asked smirking again.

"Hush you! Go inside." I replied smiling down at her then waved my hands as if shooing her forward. She laughed and followed my prompt then let out a loud "Ummmmmmmmm." before asking if the friends we had supposedly come to visit were minimalists.

"How the hell do you know about minimalists?" Edward asked with a loud chuckle.

"Mr. Edward! Language!" Bree sarcastically scolded then shrugged, "Sometimes we get to stay up and watch HGTV. It's the only channel that works late at night." I laughed and shook my head to myself. It was insane how much I cared about this little girl. Never in my life had I met someone so naturally comfortable in their own skin with such a witty charismatic personality, and she was still only a child. Edward and I would most definitely have our hands full with her. A soul such as hers would need careful guidance and patience, but I was so ready for that challenge. I would be everything for her that I never had for myself because I knew what I'd missed out on the most, and I would never want that for her. She deserved so, so much more than that.

"So who are we waiting for? Should we sit on the ground or what?" It was hilarious because the inside of the place was completely empty aside from a single lamp in the corner and a crate in front of the fire place.

There was however one room though that had something special in it.

"Bree see that door on the left over there? I think there's some chairs in there, why don't you go check it out for us while Edward and I look for another light switch?" I suggested trying to hide my nervous smile.

"Sure, but if a ghost comes at me, I'm going to be crazy pissed, Ms. Bella." she warned then quickly took off across the room towards the short hallway. Edward and I followed behind her as quietly as we could after he'd stepped up behind me to place his hands at my hips in order to walk me forward.

"Here we go," he whispered beside my ear then kissed my cheek.

"Here we go." I repeated softly after him.

"What the hell?!" Bree's little voice yelped from the doorway after she'd flipped the light switch on. Edward and I stepped up behind her and I slowly placed my hands on her shoulders then kneeled down beside her. We'd had someone come in earlier today to paint Bree's name in graffiti art on the large wall between the two windows that would look out into the backyard where her and Edward would get to practice their skateboarding moves together as much as she liked and as often as her school work would allow.

All she had to do was say yes.

"What's going on?" she asked looking down into my eyes, her own eyes wild while they scanned my face erratically searching for an answer.

"Bree. If you'd be okay with it. I'd… I'd like to adopt you. I'd like for you to live here, with us." I finally got out smiling up at her.

"Is… is this real life?" she stuttered with wide eyes.

"It's real life. I promise." I got out with a happy tear sliding down my face. "I would never ever joke about something like this."

"I'm not dreaming? You really want me? _You _want to be _my_ mom?" she asked, tears now falling past her own little lashes.

"I do. I really, really do." I whispered back, and then brushed the wet drops from her cheeks, "If you would be okay with that? Nothing would make me happier, Bree."

She instantly launched herself down into my arms and hugged me more tightly than anyone else in my life ever had. "Of course! I dreamed of this! Of course I want you to adopt me! Of course I want you to be my mom!" We were both shaking from our happy sobs while we clung to one another at the floor. "Oh my God! I can't believe this! This is my room?! I'll have my own room?!" she asked once she'd pulled away to look up at me again. I nodded and smiled then took Edwards hand after he came to sit down on the floor beside us. "And you'll be here too?" she asked him smiling even wider now.

"Yup. I can't be a part of the legal adoption, though, because… well, Bella and I aren't married."

"_Yet_." Bree impulsively spoke out then grinned with a giggle. I let out a sarcastic laugh and rubbed my hand at the top of her head.

"We'll see what happens. Just know, I do think of you like a daughter. You're the daughter I'd dreamed of having someday Bree, and I can't wait for the three of us to start our life together." he told her with softness in his tone. She threw herself into his arms and hugged him around his neck then held her arm open to bring me in so the three of us could share one giant life changing embrace.

"I can't believe this is real. It's a dream come true. I'm going to have the coolest most awesomest parents in the world! And we still get to stay here? In Charleston?"

Edward and I both glanced at each other nervously and I cleared my throat before answering her question. "Well that's the catch. Edward really needs to be on the west coast for his work, but until the adoption is finalized and made legal, we will stay here in Charleston and you can continue going to school with your friends. I already arranged everything with Mrs. Esme."

She looked back and forth between the two of us then let out a soft sigh, "So eventually we will leave?"

"Yes. But that doesn't mean we can't come back. We can come visit all the time. I promise!" I assured her feeling panic start to rise up around me. Bree stayed quiet, avoiding out eyes now. She took in a deep breath then exhaled slowly.

"Okay. I can live with that, Ms. Bella. People move all the time. It's one of those life things. Crappy, but true. Where will we live? Can I have my own room there too?"

I laughed and nodded my head. "Honey you will have multiple rooms to choose from!" I assured her then pulled her into me for another hug. She giggled and hugged me back then stood up to spin around playfully with her arms wide at her sides.

"Best day of my entire life!" She whispered just loud enough for Edward and I to hear. "I'm going to be the best daughter ever. I promise!" she added after stopping to look back at us. We both laughed and nodded our heads while smiling at each other.

"I'll remind you of that when you're sixteen." Edward teased causing me to pinch his arm. Bree giggled with a roll of her eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

"Fair enough, Mr. Edward." she instantly replied then ran back to hug us both one more time. "I'll do my very best though, because I know you're giving up a lot for me. I want to be a good daughter to you."

"Bree we aren't giving up anything. We're just both finally committing to growing up ourselves, and leaving stuff behind that was time to leave behind. You are worth that and so much more. We're lucky you came into our lives when you did. You've helped us in ways you won't understand 'til you're much older, but none of that matters right now. All that matters is that we're going to be a family. You, me, and Edward." I insisted while once again holding her hands in mine. "You do have to promise me one thing though."

"Anything!" she shouted with desperation.

"_Please_ stop calling me _Ms. _Bella."

"And me _Mr. _Edward,"

She smiled and nodded her head, "Probably too soon for mom and dad though, huh?"

I laughed and shrugged, "let's just go with whatever feels naturally. The Ms. And Mr. thing has always bugged me a little." I confessed with a wink of my eye.

"Okay, deal. Oh my God can we go back to the house now?! I can't wait to tell everyone!" Bree suddenly squealed jumping up and down in front of us.

I laughed and nodded my head, "Just be nice about it. Bragging is not a good trait to acquire." I told her with a serious expression.

"No, yeah… I know. I won't. They'll be happy for me. I've been talking about this since the first day you came to work at the school. I know it's crazy… Mrs. Esme told me so… but I just always had this feeling… like we… I don't know… that you wouldn't leave me behind. Like it was that dusty stuff."

"Dusty?"

"Yeah… dustiny?"

"Destiny?" I asked laughing as I brought her back in under my arm.

"Yeah. That's it. Destiny."

Edward chuckled from beside me and shook his head obviously enjoying our conversation.

"You, Bree Tanner, were most definitely meant to be a part of our destiny." I answered her then linked my arm through Edwards, so the three of us could walk out of our new home together as a family.

* * *

It was morning and that meant goodbyes were eminent. I groaned after hearing Edward whisper into my ear that it was time to get up. "Not ready." I insisted, refusing to open my eyes.

"Sorry. It's fact. James leaves in an hour and then Alice right after."

I let out a sigh and sat up pulling the comforter to my chin. "I don't want to say goodbye."

"Not goodbye's. See you later's." he corrected forcing me to groan.

"Those are fairytales. Nonexistent." I insisted with a huff then reached back to tie my dreads up into a pony tail at the top of my head.

"They're as real as you choose to make them. Besides, we will at least see them for the reunion show in four months."

"Right right. That train wreck should be fun to experience on live television," I mumbled, just as James came in through the beaded curtain with Jasper and his camera on his tail.

"Good, you're up." he called out then made his way across the room to hop on my bed, instantly sending me up into the air. "Pray tell sweet Bella, why is there a moving van down stairs with a guy who claims he's here to pick up stuff belonging to you and Edward in order to take it to some other residence here in town? Rather than to the airport?"

I looked at Edward nervously and we both slowly shrugged our shoulders in unison hiding our grins the best we could.

"Holy crap! Bella! Are you staying in Charleston?!" Alice asked after zooming into the room like a fire cracker in pure Mighty Mouse Alice fashion.

"Jesus Christ… did this mover like announce it with a bull horn?" I asked with a snicker then held my hand out towards Edward so he would come sit beside me. "Might as well call everyone else in for our big announcement." I told him. He nodded his head then shouted at the top of his lungs for Rose, Em, and Tanya to all get their asses into our bedroom. I laughed and shook my head after removing my hands from my guarded ears.

"I think I need to sit down for this." Alice shared then took a seat on Edwards' bed that sat a cross from mine. I laughed at her stressed expression and once again innocently shrugged my shoulders. As soon as the rest of our housemates wandered in, I cleared my throat and crossed my arms in front of me while Jasper stood in the corner with his camera on his shoulder ready to catch everything I had to say on film for future play back on television.

"Okay so. We were keeping it all a secret till we knew for sure, because we didn't want to jinx anything, but now we know… so… I guess we should let you all in on our future plans." I shared with them as Edward took a seat behind me to squeeze my shoulders with his hands. "We've rented a place here in town, well it's actually right outside of town. A cute little cottage with a small lake and lots of land that goes out to the beach."

Alice gasped and Emmett chuckled with an all knowing laugh. "You two crazy kids!" He yelped then made his way towards us to slap Edwards shoulder with his opened hand, "I knew you'd make it through all the bullshit. I didn't expect you to hang back here, though, but hey… this is where it all began so I can't say I blame you,"

"No but seriously, why the hell are you staying here when you're free to go? You have a condo on the beach in California Edward!" Rose blurted out, her eyes narrowed and her foot tapping. She obviously knew there was more.

"We're staying because I'm adopting Bree." I calmly replied.

"Holy shit! Shut up!" Tanya yelped with absolute shock clearly on her face, "You're adopting the kid?"

"Yup," I serenely answered with a smile.

"And they're letting you?" she added then swiftly backtracked, "I mean… it's no secret. A lot of shit went down during these last three months. It's all going to be on TV."

"It won't matter. Bree moves in with us in two weeks right before the first episode airs. Papers have been signed. It's all really happening. No turning back now. Even if I wanted to. Not that I want to. I totally want this." I shared sounding matter of fact-like with my response.

"Wow… well… that's awesome guys. She's a lucky girl. I'm really excited for you. The both of you." James spoke up then leaned in to hug me and kiss my cheek, "You're going to be an amazing mother to that little girl Bella. I truly believe that." he added. I smiled and nodded my head easily agreeing with him.

"I believe that too, James. Thank you for thinking so, though. That means a lot." I answered with a smile.

"Wow." is all Rose said. I rolled my eyes and shifted my weight nervously over the mattress of my bed. "No I mean, that's a huge decision Bella. I'm just really surprised you would take on such a role. Being a parent, well that's about as out of control as you can get. I'm impressed. I'm really, honestly shocked, but we could all see how much you cared about Bree, and it's been obvious that she adores you. It makes perfect sense really, I'm just surprised you realized that all on your own."

Even when she was trying to be nice, Rose still found a way to dig a dagger into it.

"Thanks Rose." I mumbled then went stiff over Alice impulsively throwing herself around me to hug me against her body.

"I'm so happy for you both. I knew. I just knew you two would end up together, and now you're going to raise a kid together. I'm so thrilled that I got to be apart of witnessing it all as it unfolded. Yours is an epic love story. I hope you both realize that. And Bella, if it wasn't for you… well… I never would have met and opened my heart to my own true love. I guess I have big news too that I've been dying to share with you guys."

I sat back and looked at Alice then watched her eyes as they slowly moved down towards her left hand.

"Holy shit woman! WHAT is that on your finger?!" I squealed grabbing her arm to bring her ring finger up to my face. "Jasper! You didn't!"

I looked directly at the camera not caring about the rules anymore then leaped up to punch him playfully in the arm. "You two are engaged?! Get the hell out of here!"

"Guilty as charged," he mumbled with a smile from behind his camera. I laughed and ran to hug Alice. She giggled and held her hand out so we could all get a better look at the diamond she was so proudly wearing. "I never would have given him the chance if you hadn't pushed me Bella. I owe you so much."

"You don't owe me anything." I insisted then kissed her cheek, "I'm so thrilled for the both of you. Really!"

"Well good because I want you to be my maid of honor!"

Her request stunned me. I'd never had a close girlfriend back at home, so I'd never dreamed of ever actually taking on such an important role during someone's most important day of their life.

"We haven't chosen a date yet, but when we do, I want you to be by my side."

"Of course Alice! I would be honored!" I told her then hugged her again. "And here I thought Edward and I would have the most shocking news!" I joked looking towards my boyfriend.

"Adopting a kid is pretty damn epic!" Alice replied shocking me further with her usage of an actual curse word. She blushed lightly and smirked while shaking her head, seemingly embarrassed.

"I can't believe this is really it." Tanya whispered, taking a seat beside Rose on James' bed. "It's crazy but in three months, I feel like you guys have become family. EXCESSIVELY dysfunctional, but we're still a family."

I nodded my head agreeing with her then let out a sigh, "We have to promise to always stay in touch. No matter what. At least once a year getting together as a group." I insisted feeling tears well up in my eyes.

They all quickly agreed and before I knew it we were wrapped in a group hug filled with lots of tears and natural laughter. It had been a life changing adventure. Signing up and living the last three months of my life with these one-time strangers, while cameras watched our every move almost twenty four hours a day. I'd come here running from myself and looking for a distraction, and now I was leaving having found myself to be the girl I'd never thought I could be.

I had friends.

Friends who hadn't known me my entire life, but still accepted me even after everything and all the craziness I had put them through.

These six people… they had helped to forever change my life and for that very reason they would always hold a very special place in my heart. I loved them like family, because that's what they had become. They accepted me. All of me. They might have judged me during my ugliest moments, but in the end, they still never turned their back. That's what mattered. That's what would stay with me forever.

In this house I had found my one true love.

In this house I had found myself.

In this house I had found my path. My destiny.

In this house, I had found the girl I was always meant to be.

"I love you Edward Cullen." I shared out loud turning my attention to the incredible man who had without a doubt, more than anyone, changed my life forever.

"I love you Bella Swan. 'Til our last chapter is written, and I've taken my last breath. You're stuck with me forever." he shared pressing his forehead against mine to look deeply into my eyes.

"I'll hold you to that promise." I warned playfully.

"Good. I dare you." he answered, then leaned in to bring his lips against mine, kissing me as if we were alone in our room without anyone else around to observe our obvious obsession and undying need and love for one another. Because in that very moment, he was all that mattered to me, and I was all that mattered to him.

Together, we could, and would conquer anything.

* * *

**A/N: *Tear* I can't believe it's over. I'm so sad to bring this story to an end, you really have no idea.**

**I have to say, one of the hardest things to write for this final chapter... the lyrics to that damn song Bella wrote for Edward. LoL! Hopefully I did them justice, at least a little bit?**

**I do have the epi written and beta'd so that will go up on Friday and then shortly after I will post the outtakes I'd written throughout the story. Those outtakes really helped me get a better understanding for these characters so I think it's only fair I share them. **

**I will also be writing at least one more outtake and posting it here. Not sure from where in the story yet, as I've left that up to one of my readers who left IRL's 1,000 review. You can expect it before the end of July, so keep an eye out. **

**Huge thanks to my original beta clarabella who started this journey with me when It's Real Life was first born as a O/S.**

** Huge huge HUGE thanks and a thousand hugs and kisses to my current beta and good friend Riss who helped me get back to work after my long hiatus, baking and birthing my daughter, lol. You're amazing sweetie! I hope you realize how much I appreciate all of your hard work! **

**To my love Ceci, AKA Lolypop82... girl I love you HARD. Your manips helped add so much to this story. Thank you so much!**

**If you started this story with me at it's beginning and came back after that long wait, well you will never know how much that meant to me. **

**Just know that all of your words through PM's and reviews are what motivated me to come back and keep going. I'm so happy I was able to return and see these two to their happy ending.**

****Now, as for my not so surprising announcement: I do have a sequel outlined for this story. I mean really, how could I just leave it there when there's such an obvious need to see Rock Star, and M&M raise little Bree together without cameras? It will be a little while till I get that started, but if you leave a review I will reply with the synopsis for that story.****

**I hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I've enjoyed writing and plotting it out in my head.**

**See you at the epi. **

**xox, PB**

******Please review, even if you never have before. I'd love to hear from you. What were your favorite parts? What made you yell at your computer or handheld device? What characters were your favorite and who did you hate the most? I'd love to hear it all!******

_**(For those wondering about Two Makes Five. I plan on posting the next chapter by the beginning of July. Stalker and Care Bear will be here soon! Ah! *wink*)**_


	27. Epilogue: Curtain Call

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not. This plot however did spark from my twisted Reality TV loving mind and I decided to run with it. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this mayhem._

* * *

**It's Real Life**

**Epilogue: Curtain Call**

**~Bella~**

I was sitting in the green room nervously pacing back and forth when Jasper came through the door to position my mic on the collar of my black and blue fifties style dress Bree had helped me pick out. He tugged on the silk scarf I'd tied around my neck and pinched my cheeks playfully, before whispering with a smile that I needed to take a deep breath and try my best to relax.

"It's good to see you again Bella." he added after gently pulling me into him for a solid hug.

I smiled and nodded my head, "Four months is a long time. You should pop in from time to time during my Skype sessions with your fiancé." I teased, pinching his own cheek with a forced smirk on my face. He grinned with a roll of his eyes then softly asked if there was anything he could get for me before I was called to the stage.

"I'm good. We turned the monitor off… watching them out there… it was starting to stress us out. Have I missed anything shocking?" I nervously enquired.

He smirked in response and shook his head, "Nah, nothing you weren't there for. Emmett landed a job at a University in Colorado as an assistant coach to their football team. Rose got a gig counseling teenagers with body image issues. James got a modeling contract with Guess Jeans, Alice is busy planning our summer wedding. Biggest surprise of the night, Tanya and Demetri are still together living out in New York City."

I wish I could have told him I was surprised about Tanya and Dem's relationship still being alive and well, but I wasn't. Aro had kept me in the loop with that. Even though he was no longer friends with Demetri, as with most things, Aro still knew what was going on. Which was nice, since Tanya and I hadn't spoken much since the show wrapped in November. When we had talked she seemed to know better than to bring up her scummy boyfriend, and I'd always been appreciative of that.

When Edward and I first arrived at the studio together, we'd quickly been told that I would go out on stage last.

_Shocking. _

Edward had left me in our shared green room about fifteen minutes ago. Neither of us could bare to watch the live feed off the monitors in the room. Especially after one of the producers had given us a heads up that they would be showing a video montage after each of us came out, highlighting some of our most memorable and outrageous moments on the show.

We hadn't watched a single episode as they'd aired on national television. We'd made that decision one night after dinner when Bree had asked us if we were ready to relive all the moments when we'd 'sucked face' with other people before deciding we only wanted to 'suck face' with each other.

Apparently someone had taken it upon themselves to jump on the 'It's Real Life' website, and while there they had also decided to watch the teaser trailer for our season.

Not. Good.

Needless to say we'd immediately blocked Bree's ability to freely surf the web without any boundaries shortly after that conversation.

"So we're all still on for dinner and drinks after right?" Jasper asked breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yup. Absolutely. I can't wait! Bree's more than bummed that she had to stay in tonight, but she's excited she'll get to see you guys tomorrow. Jake and Paul are with her at the hotel, so I'm sure they're keeping her entertained." I answered as I carefully smoothed my dress down in front of me.

Live TV in front of a _real_ live audience was nothing to joke about. This was legit. Not to mention I was a _mom_ now. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. I would be walking out on that stage a totally different person from the train wreck of a girl everyone had observed and come to know during the majority of our aired episodes.

I literally felt as if I were about to vomit all over the place.

"Alright. They're ready for you Bella. This way."

I nervously shifted my weight back and forth several times then nodded my head and slowly followed Jasper out after taking in a forced deep breath and shaking my arms out at my sides. As we walked down the short dark hallway, with every step we took, I felt as if my heart were about to beat out of my chest at any second. I could hear the audience laughing and then Edward's voice insist that he'd absolutely meant to do something on purpose. It calmed me a little to hear him. It was incredible how something so simple could have such a profound effect on me, but it was the God's honest truth... he was my newest and most effect prescription drug when it came to my anxiety.

What we had, it certainly wasn't simple, but it was right, and to us it was about as perfect and simple as anything could ever be.

"Break a leg." Jasper whispered beside my ear then gave my arm a firm squeeze.

I smiled and nodded my head then peaked out the side of the curtain where all of my old housemates were seated on the bright stage in two separate rows. Edward was closest to Tyler Crowley, the host for our little reunion show. They were all laughing together about something I'd missed. I smiled seeing Edward's genuine grin as he shook his head back and forth seemingly embarrassed about something that had been said. I clenched my hands together at my chest and felt my heart skip a beat over the sight of him.

"Alright, well… let's bring out your girl shall we? I know you've all been waiting to see Edwards, '_Rock Star_'!" the crowd went wild and I felt my cheeks instantly flush over the sound of their reaction. "Let's welcome Bella to the stage!"

I took in one last nervous breath and placed my arms at my sides as my legs began to walk me out in front of the hot bright lights. The applause that surrounded me was almost deafening. I couldn't help but bashfully hide my face behind my hands as I made my way towards my friends who were all standing now waiting to hug me. I squeezed Alice tight and kissed her on the cheek, then made my way to Tanya giving her an equally tight embrace. Rose held me a bit longer and I felt myself relax a little in her arms. Our relationship was complicated, but it was only out of love, and I'd certainly come to realize that now. Especially thanks to our e-mail correspondence since the wrapping of the show. Emmett picked me up and spun me around then cupped my face in his hands to kiss my forehead firmly. James was waiting off to the side with a sheepishly proud grin on his face.

"You look amazing kiddo. Absolutely amazing. I'm so proud of everything you've done, and how far you've come. I just can't say that enough." he whispered beside my ear. I smiled and nodded my head unable to find my voice.

Edward was standing a few more feet away, waiting patiently to take me in his arms. When I stepped up beside him he instantly placed one of his hands on my hip while his other hand cupped the side of my face. "Hey gorgeous- that was a ridiculously long fifteen minutes being away from you." he whispered, earning us a bunch of "awwwwww's" from the audience after his mic had obviously shared his assertion with everyone else in the room. I grinned and nodded my head in agreement then stood on my toes in my peek-a-boo black heals to kiss his lips firmly before we took our seats on the stage.

"Welcome Bella. We've been reliving a lot of the most memorable moments in the house and I have to say, you're either a part of, or directly involved in about ninety percent of them," the host joked, receiving a loud laugh from the crowd.

"Yeah, what can I say? I seem to drawl out all the WTF moments in life. With or without camera's around." I easily teased back, surprisingly without missing a beat.

"That you do. That you did. So let's jump right in. You, more than anyone else in the history of It's Real Life, managed to dodge the cameras during some of the most pivotal moments this season. By doing so, with your ninja like skills, you forced the audience to make up their own theories that sometimes got a little bit crazy and ridiculously creative on the internet. How long was it before you were regretting signing up for the show?"

"I'm not sure I ever regretted it, Ty. I'd just wished there was a pause button sometimes." I shared with a nervous smile. The audience chuckled at my honesty and for whatever reason that helped relax me a little further.

"Well it's now fact that you are _the_ most popular IRL cast member to have ever been a cast for this show. How does that make you feel?"

I considered his question for a moment then shrugged my shoulders, "I'm not sure that's something to be proud of." I laughed nervously then glanced at Edward who nodded his head, silently insisting I continue, "I underwent a huge transformation while cameras watched me at every angle. My life… it's changed. Dramatically. But for the better. I honestly owe it all to having been on this show. As much as it drove me mad at times, I never would have met Edward, or Bree if it weren't for being a part of all of this. For those two reasons alone, I will never regret a single moment I experienced in that house." I answered, instantly taking Edwards hand into mine. He smiled and increased his grasp around my fingers then leaned in to kiss my lips softly.

There was another round of 'awwwwww's and I quickly found myself rolling my eyes while I earnestly waited for Tyler's next question.

"And how have your_ boys_ adjusted to the decision you made to stay in Charleston with Bree and Edward for a little while longer?"

"They're fine. They've actually been one hundred and ten percent supportive. They've flown out and met Bree, spent a few weekends with us getting to know her, and they love her almost as much as Edward and I do. They're amazing uncles. Two of them are actually babysitting her right now back at the hotel while Edward and I are here." I shared with an approving grin. Tyler nodded his head and leaned forward in his seat closer to me.

"So Edward told us you guys haven't watched a single episode."

"Not even a commercial." I nervously replied as my right hand began to twirl one of my dreads in front of me.

"Well, we have a few clips from your most memorable moments on the show. Feel free to dig your head into Edwards shoulder if you'd rather not see them. The crowd however has voted and here's what had people talking for days."

I covered my face in my hands anticipating the worst as the lights dimmed then playfully peeked between my spread fingers as the video began to play on the screen beside us.

It started with me meeting Edward in our bedroom for the first time. He instantly took my hand back into his to squeeze it as our voices joked about 'Indian Rock' back and forth between one another in our shared bedroom after our initial introductions. I stifled a laugh behind my free hand and shook my head feeling embarrassed as my first confessional sit down came up on the screen with goddamn Avril Lavigne's 'Skater Boy' playing in the background, just like I'd warned the producers NOT to do, while I went on and on about Edward and his magical mouth. After that there was a montage of various moments when I'd referred to Edward as M&M… between those moments… my O-Face on full display, courtesy of him and his damn magical mouth. I felt my cheeks instantly turn red while the audience howled with laughter and began chanting "M&M" from their seats.

"See, I told you. Best nickname _ever_," my boyfriend whispered into my ear then increased his grasp on my hand. There were a few quick clips of me with Aro at his bar, and hanging out writing music together, me singing on stage or playing with Jane in my lap outside our bedroom window… and then came another embarrassing montage. This one was of me throwing shot after shot back between my lips. I buried my face into my lap when I suddenly appeared on the screen rapping a Lil Wayne song while I spun around on the poll on our back porch seconds away from losing my top. I made a mental note to yell at Jasper because he had assured me he'd gotten rid of all of that embarrassing footage.

Then out of nowhere was Bree's smiling face, standing up to introduce herself for the first time in the classroom where we had met her. I felt my own smile raise as Edward's thumb began brushing circles at the top of my hand. They showed a bunch of short clips of me sharing little moments with my soon to be daughter and I felt a tear slid down my face. I quickly brushed it away with my hand and laughed nervously over my inability to reign in my emotions.

Seeing those moments play out on screen… It was truly special and I was unexpectedly feeling very grateful that we'd had the camera's tagging along during those days at work. I would be lying if I tried to say it hadn't been obvious that Bree and I had shared an instant connection.

She'd had me at hello, much like Edward had, only for an entirely different purpose.

Next came a erratic tableau of Edward and I fighting. I hated to see it but at the same time, it was a bit therapeutic. It reminded me that as perfect as our relationship was now, it had been a battle to get here. Each screaming match clip ended with us making up and usually making out… heavily… with lots of pixilation needed. I could once again feel my cheeks blushing a crimson red during one of our more memorable make-up moments that had taken place in a bathroom shower stall after my first date with Aro.

"Fuck hot, baby." Edward whispered into my ear after leaning back over into me. I smirked and smacked him with my hand playfully then rolled my eyes as the screen switched over to the day where I'd run into my grandfather and Riley. I sneered at the sight of them and felt my body instantly stiffen. The audience, much to my surprise, began boo'ing.

That made me smile... A lot.

When my boys and I appeared on the screen playing our drinking game around the dinning room table I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. I knew what this scene would build up to.

This was the moment I had prayed I would never have to witness or be forced to relive.

Much to my surprise, whoever had put the video together, they'd decided to blow right past it. Well the audio portion anyways. They'd opted to only show the visuals of the shouting match that had taken place on the stairs, then out in front of the house, and back up in the bedroom where tears had rampantly fallen from my eyes.

I was feeling beyond relieved. I also had a hunch that I owed a lot of thanks to Jasper for the superb editing job. I knew it could have been a hundred times worse.

The video slowed down and ended with Edward and I making up after my time away from the house, and then me sharing with him in the computer room that I wanted to adopt Bree.

When the lights came back up the room roared. I blinked back the tears that were now threatening to take me over, and smiled looking out at everyone in front of me after taking in a deep breath to gather my composure. It was insane… to feel so much love and support from virtual strangers… it was absolutely inconceivable.

"It was a wild ride Bella." Tyler affirmed with a smirk then leaned over to hand me a tissue.

"It really was." I agreed almost automatically, surprising myself with my ability to actually speak clearly after rubbing the soft tissue under my eyes and nose.

"And things are as good as Edward claims?"

"Things… everything… it's all perfect. My life couldn't be more perfect. I have a man who loves me and accepts me for me, regardless of my flaws, and a daughter who truthfully at times knows me better than I know myself. My life is amazing and I absolutely owe that to this ridiculous show. I never would have met my soul mate. I never would have met Bree. If it wasn't for this show I would still be on my path towards self-destruction and truthfully… I may no longer be breathing. They saved me from myself. Being on this show… It saved my life and I will forever be indebted to it." I admitted then closed my eyes to take in another deep breath as that reality settled around me.

"Your story has been one that our viewers will never forget. Now tell us, how proud were you to see Edward take first place in all of his events at the Dew Games?"

"Words can't express how proud I was… how proud I _am_ of him. Daily."

"You made it all possible, baby. Without you I never would have been able to do it." Edward instantly chimed in then swiftly brought me into his lap to kiss my lips firmly. I giggled and draped my arms over his shoulders to hold me in place on top of him.

"Next stop, the X-games!" I exclaimed drawling a loud cheer from the crowd.

"And we hear there's a chance lil Miss Bree might enter in one or two events." Tyler questioned with a smile causing both Edward and I to beam at one another.

"She's training hard. Probably not this year, but definitely next year. She's determined to be the youngest girl to ever qualify." Edward shared with a proud smirk then kissed my hand after raising it to his lips.

"And she's got a damn good teacher!" I exclaimed with a huge a smile on my own face.

"So, would you say parenthood has been an easy transition for the two of you?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his question. "It's had its ups and downs. Nothing in life is easy, but we are absolutely in love with Bree and she's without a doubt changed our lives for the better, unlike anything else." I affirmed with an added nod of my head.

"Absolutely. Bree is… she really is the daughter I'd dreamed of having. I'm just lucky Bella took the leap to make it all happen and make her permanent in our life. Our shared future. I can't imagine living a single day without having her in it now." Edward answered with a very serious expression. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing with every word he'd said while also feeling ridiculously lucky to have him as my partner when it came to raising our very special little girl.

"And have you reconciled with your grandfather, Bella?"

I froze for a few seconds while his newest inquiry processed then slowly shook my head, "No." I firmly answered. "And I have no desire to. He made his choice. He turned his back on me when I needed him the most and I've accepted that. I wish him the best of luck on his path towards becoming the next president of the United States but he has absolutely nothing to do with my life and I'm totally fine with that. I don't need him. I have everyone I need. I have a man who loves me, friends who I can count on, and a little girl who makes every day that much more fulfilling. My life is complete. I don't need the approval of a man who never even cared to get to know the real me."

"Fair enough. His loss, and for what it's worth, he certainly won't be getting my vote in the next election! Before we go though, I believe you have one more announcement to share with everyone today?" Tyler prompted with a smirk. I nodded my head and glanced at Edward who was already beaming proudly.

"Yeah, I um, I go into the studio in a few weeks to put down some original songs I wrote for an album Forks Records wants to release. They offered me a recording contract right after the show wrapped so it looks like I'll finally have that demo everyone's always asking me for." I joked with a nervous laugh. There was a loud round of applause mixed with hoots and cheers that easily caused me to blush again. Alice was suddenly hugging me tightly then jumping up and down with excitement like an adorable little fan girl in front of me. I laughed and shook my head as the sounds of support and excitement came at me at from every direction.

"So when can we expect that record to drop?" Tyler questioned after hushing the crowd and playfully ushering Alice back to her seat.

"We're shooting for this October. No promises though. This is all super new to me, so I have no idea what will happen once I sit down in that studio." I humbly shared. "My song, 'If I', will be my first single though. That's the one I wrote for Edward."

Tyler gasped, "I _LOVED_ that song. What a special moment that was when you sang it at the Halloween party. Probably one of my favorites from the entire season. That's very exciting news, Bella. Very exciting indeed! Who knows, maybe the next time we meet you'll be introducing your music video on my show!" I laughed at his suggestion and shrugged my shoulders unsure of what to say in response. "Congratulations on finding everything you dreamt you'd never have. Good luck to you. To all of you! It's been a memorable season! That concludes our show. We hope you've enjoyed getting to know this cast a little bit more. Be sure to stay tuned for the world premiere of Face Punches new video, New Moon After the Twilight! I'm Tyler Crowley reminding you, you're never too good to be a little bad. Truth!"

I smirked at out our host's more than cheesy closing and quickly leaned in to kiss Edwards cheek after he'd increased his grasp on me around my hips.

"You were perfect." he quietly assured me with a smirk on his beautiful face.

"Only thanks to you." I replied back then noticed that our housemates had surrounded us with their obvious presence.

"That's such amazing news Bella about the album! Why didn't you tell us?!" Alice asked jumping up and down again beside me.

"I wasn't sure I would do it. Life's just so busy, and traveling back and forth, it just seemed like a lot for something I wasn't sure would be worth it. Edward and Bree convinced me though, and after label said I could record the album at a studio in New York City, instead of here in L.A. well it became hard to turn them down." I told them.

"You'll be coming to the city?! Excellent! We'll have to get together and hit some clubs and do some serious shopping!" Tanya exclaimed then hugged me tightly. I smiled and glanced at Edward, already knowing that the revelation during the show that both Tanya and Demetri now lived in the city… the same city I'd be spending quite a bit of time in… it had to be making him feel a little anxious. I offered a wink of my eye and squeezed his hand hoping it would help settle him down then redirected my attention back towards our housemates.

"So all set to get some food?" I asked with a forced smile, feeling desperate to change the subject. "We need to be back at the hotel by ten to make sure Bree goes to bed. Jake and Paul are total pushovers when it comes to a routine bedtime." They all laughed and we slowly began making our way across the back of the stage and out towards the exit to enjoy a meal together just like old times. It was nice that these days I was actually able to enjoy a meal. I'd found my happy medium between eating right and working out. Having someone in my life now that depended on my survival, it had totally changed my mind set when it came to my eating issues and desire for control.

I smiled watching everyone walk ahead of Edward and I then squeezed his hand before bringing him in closer against me. "Listen. I don't want you worrying about New York." I insisted, already knowing that's where his mind currently was.

"I'm not worried. I'm just contemplating on whether or not I need to look the asshole up and pay him my own visit before your paths cross again."

I smirked and shook my head, "I can take care of myself when it comes to Demetri." I easily assured him then pulled his face down towards mine to give him a quick firm kiss. "Girl scouts honor."

He laughed and rolled his eyes, "Fine. But if anything does happen, I expect you to tell me, Bella."

"Of course! Nothing is going to happen though. I'll be too busy in the studio, and Tanya knows better than to surprise me with his presence." I reminded him. "Now smile! We're out for the first time in four months without any instant responsibilities!" I pointed out then thankfully saw his shoulders relax.

"As nice as that is, I'm already missing our _instant responsibility_." he admitted with a bashful grin. I laughed and tugged at his arm to kiss him again while we stood a few feet away from our friends, back in our bubble, as we waited for our driver to pull up so we could head to dinner.

"I miss Bree too. That's why I lied about needing to get back by a certain time." I quietly admitted.

"Life sure has changed."

I grinned and nodded my head agreeing with him just as the sun began to go down past the tall buildings a few blocks away from where we now stood, "It most definitely has, but I wouldn't change a single thing about it."

* * *

**A/N: And there we are. Hopefully that tied things up nicely... at least till M&M and Rock Star's next journey begins. I think it laid the ground work for where the sequel might go... my apologies to one of my readers who said they were excited for the sequel because Demetri wouldn't be around. *snort***

****Outtakes will go up this weekend, in 3 parts.*****

**Thanks again so much to each and every one of you. **

**Those of you who have taken the time to leave me your thoughts in a review, you've made my day time and time again. Your words have been the best kind of reciprocation, and I wish you could see the smiles you've bestowed upon my face when I've read them.**

**So yeah... PLEASE REVIEW! ;)**

**Till next time.**

**XoX, PB **


	28. OUTTAKES From Chapters 5-9

**A/N: These outtakes are NOT beta'd, like AT ALL. So my apologies for that. **

**It was hard to send my beta a 12,000 word chapter then follow it up with a outtake to also beta. LoL**

**If you reviewed the chapters that these outtakes come from, they're pretty much the same as the ones you should have received in a PM.**

**(just uncensored and maybe slightly modified) **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**~OUTTAKE FROM CHAPTER 5~**

**(Edward and Bella head up to do a after hours confessional room sit down after a wild not of drinking and singing at Volturi's)**

**~Bella~**

Edward was sitting beside me talking into the camera but all I could focus on was the fact that his leg was finally rubbing against mine again. Quickly, I repositioned myself under his arm and pressed my body closer to his.

From the moment we'd taken a seat in the cab I felt relief sweep over me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the pestering little voice that was coming from the back of my inebriated head.

_He makes you smile. _

_He makes you feel good. _

_He makes you feel good about smiling. _

_Reward him. _

_Kiss the boy._

_Shut-it_, I warned silently then took in a deep breath.

The discovery that being alone with Edward could calm me… the fact that with him I could relax… that I could just… be... It was too much to process in my drunken state so I had no choice but to push it away.

In moments like these I reacted the only way I knew how, I turned on my own flirtatious charm and prayed he wouldn't see through it.

_Stupid girl, stop trying to be all deep and philosophical when you've got an entire bottle of vod-a-ka swimming in your system. It's not attractive, _I warned myself before releasing a light hiccup through my lips.

_Men tend to run from women who suffer from an inability to regulate their emotional state and you are an emotional mess, which is why you have these walls surrounding you. _

_Keep the walls strong… do not remove the walls. _

_Walls. Are. Good. _

_But. Loose. Boundaries. Could. Be. Better. _

_Shut-UP!_

I shook my head free from its merry-go-round of, 'to-hump' or 'not-to-hump', and forced my best smile while I watched him talk into the camera lens a few feet away from us. I couldn't help but interrupt his suave intro by pointing out that he had stayed out this evening with the sole purpose of keeping an eye on me and my newest, _friend _Aro.

"I was not Bella-sitting, woman, get over it." he shot back in defense but I smoothly reject his rebuttal and squeezed his knee with my hand to help ease his embarrassment.

He brushed me off with a smile that I instantly wanted to wipe off his face, preferably by using my tongue.

Just saying.

When he started to critic my performance on stage in front of the Confessional camera I could feel my face flush over his bombardment of misconceived complements. Not being one to accept such things easily, I insisted that I'd hardly done anything but sing back up and play a few simple cords over and over again on my guitar.

He shushed me while I distracted myself by bundling my hair up in front of my shoulder before telling him I'd have been happy to give him an encore but I didn't want to wake up the entire house.

I mean I _really_ didn't want to wake up the house.

I wanted to mount his body and suck on his tongue, but I wasn't about to admit _that_ out loud. I couldn't pull my eyes away from him. Not when he was looking at me with those eyes. I could bet money that he was craving the same exact thing.

I few moments letter, after processing the fact that he was indeed having his own dirty thoughts, and giving me a nice eye-fuck, a smirk crossed my lips. He definitely wanted to kiss me just as badly as I wanted to kiss him, so would it be so bad to just give in for once?

_What's one more time? You did sing about it tonight._

_Shut it, you horny, drunk girl! WALLS!_

It was hard though, especially when all he wanted to do was fan my ego with his sweet words.

_God, he's so sweet._

_Good grief! Sweet? Does it get anymore lame than that? Doubtful. _I snapped at myself then shook my head realizing we'd just spent the last thirty seconds staring at one another like mindless drunken fools. I coughed nervously breaking our trance, but that interruption didn't last long.

He whispered something about wanting to hear me play just for him another time and touched my arm with his fingertips before shifting his weight towards me. My eyes were quickly drawn to my feet as soon as the fluttering returned to the inside of my stomach.

_Why the hell are you acting so dickwhipped? Focus on something else._ I quickly prompted myself then began to explain to the camera what tonight had been like for me on stage in front of total strangers.

"It was the most natural high I've ever experienced. I almost wish I'd have been prepared to do another song. It was seriously better than most orgasms."

He laughed at my response then brought up Aro again, just as I'd anticipated he would.

I paused for a few seconds, trying to find the right words.

"He helped make tonight a lot of fun. He's an amazing musician, I just can't believe we happened to cross paths. He makes me feel… like I'm home, if that makes sense? I'm really glad we met."

"Yeah, it was something watching you sing like that to some guy you just met. Such passion. So what's the deal with Aro? You're into guys like that? Someone you can share your makeup with?" he suddenly asked, forcing me to hide my returned smirk.

"Why, Edward, we're not jealous are we?" I asked playfully. It was cute that he thought I was singing to Aro. He obviously hadn't listened to the lyrics very carefully because he was way off with his assessment.

After insisting jealousy had nothing to do with it, and after he'd finished insulting my latest gentleman caller, his hand began tracing my fingertips and I quickly felt my teeth bite down at my lip while I crossed my legs further in front of me.

My entire body was tingling now.

_Watch it. Pace yourself. Activate ACCP's. Stat._

I did the only thing I could do. I mocked him over his jealousy with a flirty eye-roll, then mentally patted myself on the back for having found some wit deep down in my drunken state.

"I have to admit though, the way things ended tonight. Not very fair if you ask me," he shared before grinning down into my eyes with that panty dropping smile of his.

_Damn him to hell._

"Why's that?" I asked without even considering the consequences.

How was he able to fuck up my ability to think before I opened my mouth sometimes… It scared this shit out of me.

What he did next shocked me.

In the blink of an eye I was in his arms, with my body pressed to his.

"Well you see, Rock Star, when I saw him take you like this," he explained, pulling me further against him. "And when he brought your chin up like this," he added, tilting my lips up towards his, with his eyes now looking deeply into my own. I couldn't move. I was frozen by his stare, by his touch. There was no where else I wanted to be but in his arms. "And when he did this," he whispered almost silently with his mouth pressed against my ear just before taking my face between his hands. I sucked back a breath as he leaned down, bringing his lips to rest against mine. I shifted myself into him, wanting to feel his body on mine. Before I knew it I had pushed him back and straddled his lap with my legs opened over his throbbing cock, which of course instantly soaked my panties to the point where I was sure I'd leave a mark.

Goddamm leggings, blocking me from feeling more of him.

I was _more_ than frustrated.

I needed to feel _more_ of him.

I knew he wanted to feel _more_ of me.

_So what the hell are you waiting for, stupid girl. Ride his dick and call it a night._

My mouth continued moving over his, while my hands grabbed and fondled any part of him they could grab hold of. I broke our kiss so I could find his ear with my teeth, wanting to create a yelp of passion from his lips. I moaned at the sweet sound of success when he lifted me up above him then down again over his lap, creating the friction I was craving from his cock being pressed between my legs.

I wanted him.

I wanted him inside of me now.

_Danger._

"Fuck, I can't be around you when I have liquor in me," I confessed already hating myself for my lack of control and apparent weakness.

"You won't get any complaints from me, I'm not too proud to take Aro's sloppy seconds,"

I looked at him, for a moment startled by his statement but before I could react he had already returned his lips to mine and I was once again losing myself to his masterful mouth. He lifted me up from the couch with my legs still wrapped around his body and I moaned when I felt my back being pressed against the wall while he continued to rub his hard-on against my trembling pussy.

Again- I wanted him.

I wanted him inside of me.

I needed him inside of me, _now_.

His clothes were nothing but a nuisance to me at this point, and before I knew it, my fingertips were pulling to lift his shirt from his body while my other hand tried desperately to unfasten his belt from his waist.

I needed to get one thing straight though before we continued, he was not getting anyone's sloppy seconds. He'd been the first person to ever pierce my armor and now because of him I was questioning every belief, every theory, I had ever developed on a persons instability versus inability to trust someone with their heart.

In that moment I remembered why I'd developed all my defenses over the years and I pushed him away, but kept my hand against his chest, not really able to fully let him go yet.

* * *

**~~~OUTTAKE FROM CHAPTER 6~~~**

**(EPOV from the moment when Bella left the swanky bar in search of a "distraction" from Aro.)**

**~EDWARD~**

I was five minutes away from getting a blow job in the bathroom when I realized Bella was missing. One minute she was throwing daggers my way with her piercing eyes and the next she was gone. I'd done my best to make her jealous so I was feeling pretty accomplished till I actually realized quite a bit of time had gone by and she'd yet to reappear. I scanned the small bar and narrowed my eyes towards James who was giving me a look of pure pity and disappointment.

_Shit. She left!_

_Wow, our girl sure can dish it but she apparently can't take it._

_Major fail, Cullen. _

"Hey where's Bella?" I called out to James after casually excusing myself from the _Bride To Be_ I'd been using to get my point across to the roommate I wanted more than anything else in my life at the moment. If she was gone there was no reason to continue barking up that tree. Her services were no longer needed, even if she had suggested a quick trip to the men's room to introduce her mouth to my cock.

"She took off about fifteen minutes ago, Tanya already went after her with Jasper and his camera." he replied casually then took a sip from his beer before sliding the empty bottle to the other end of the table top.

"What do you mean she _took_ off? And why the hell would Tanya go after her?" I questioned then gestured for Alice to join us so we could discuss what had happened and if we should stay or also go after our housemates.

"I think Tanya was hoping to get some alone time with our sweet Bella," James snickered then turned his bar stool around to face me.

I laughed at his suggestion but quickly quieted down once I realized he wasn't laughing with me.

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed it? I mean I know Tanya's also been throwing herself at you, but how could you not pick up on the fact that she's also been eyeing your other roommate?"

"Shut the hell up, no way," I laughed again then punched his shoulder jokingly.

"Okay dude, Just remember I called it," James replied smiling to himself before he paid our bill with the bartender and hollered for Emmett to gather Rose up so we could all head out to the van.

By this point Bella had been gone a good thirty to forty minutes. Unless she'd gotten a ride home from some stranger she would still be walking home.

"What's the big deal? Bella went home _boo-hoo-hoo_, lets all stop what were doing and rush to her aide which she probably won't even appreciate anyways." Rose slurred while hanging onto Emmett's arm as we all walked towards the parking lot together.

"Emmett hush her up before she says something that annoys me and I have to make you walk her home," I warned not liking the direction Rose's rant was heading.

"Quiet Rose, you're talking out of your drunken ass, which is still a hot ass, but it's not the best side of you," Emmett thankfully pointed out. She let out a huff and climbed into the van while avoiding my stare but still mumbling something under her breath.

As annoyed as I was with Bella, I wouldn't be able to stand by quietly if someone tried to talk badly about her behind her back. I just wouldn't allow it to happen.

"Edward, sweetie… I know you want to get home to make sure nothings wrong, but lets just try to get there in one piece first, okay?" Alice asked softly from behind me.

I looked down at the speedometer and groaned to myself after seeing I was going close to sixty-five in a forty-five. I released some pressure from the gas pedal and loosened my grasp on the steering wheel then apologized to Alice for my reckless driving.

"So whats the story with the go-go dancer?" she asked, apparently trying to take my mind off of Bella by reminding me of reason why she'd probably left in the first place.

"No story, she was out for her bachelorette party. She wanted me to be her last one night stand before she tied herself to one man for the rest of her life. Same story, different girl," I mumbled then inhaled deeply after the light in front of us finally turned green.

"Nice, you better hope her future husband isn't into reality TV," Rose snickered from beside my ear then hiccupped loudly.

"Me nothing, that's all her. Besides I didn't stick around long enough for anything to happen."

"Lies! I saw her hand grabbing onto something, and unless you're carrying a banana in your pocket, it was not a piece of fruit," Emmett hollered with a booming laugh of his own. I turned around to throw him his own warning glare then told them an outside of the pants brush off meant absolutely nothing.

"Okay, dude. If that's what you want to believe, more power to ya. I've got your back when the _Husband To Be_ does find you!" Emmett shouted with another obnoxious laugh that shook the inside of the van and further annoyed my ear drums.

I made sure to take the route that made the most sense for Bella to walk, but she was no where in sight and I could feel my unease rising the closer we got to the house.

I noticed the truck parked outside as soon as I'd turned down our block.

All black, dark tinted windows, vintage, and a tag that read VCrook89.

_Fucking-A. She wouldn't have. _

_Girl works fast, you have to give her credit._

I snarled at my nagging conscious just as Rose began to play the autotag game.

"V-Crook-89, why... who ever could that be? I hope it's not some bandit robbing our house,"

"Right Rose, a burgler is burglarizing a house that is known to have multiple cameras in it." Alice teased with sarcasm dripping from her tone. I smiled at her unusually snarky response just before Rose shouted out the answer I was already thinking myself.

"Oh! V-Volturi's Crook! Aro must be here. So the girl just wanted to get laid. We came home for nothing! SEE! I told you!"

"Rose, hush, we came home because you could barely stand on your own two feet anymore," James spoke up saving me from having to utter my own response that would not have been as kind.

Once we made it inside, the house was dead silent. Alice shrugged her shoulders then quietly offered to investigate upstairs with me where all the lights were already on. I took that as our cue that it was safe to enter.

Before even going through the beaded curtain in the doorway of my room I saw Jasper huddled in the corner with his camera pointing towards the beds and a huge smile on his face.

_Shit._

_No. Way. In. Hell._

What we found when we entered though almost knocked the wind out of me.

_Son-of-a-bitch, James was mother fucking right!_

Both Bella and Tanya were locked in one of the hottest girl on girl embraces I'd ever seen… on MY bed while Aro watched on just a few feet away with his cell phone pointed in their direction, no doubt filming the 'Girls Gone Wild' moment that was taking place in front of him.

_What a Grade-A-Sleaze-Bag. What the hell is she thinking?! _

Once Alice was done freaking the hell out over what we'd just witnessed I calmed my own breathing and watched Bella hide her face in embarrassment while Aro informed us they had been playing a game of Truth Or Dare.

I seriously… never in my life… I've never wanted to bring my fist to someone's face as badly as I wanted to right in that very moment. He was a manipulating son of a bitch and that was absolutely obvious to me now. Why she would even entertain his games was beyond me, but it was apparent that he was only after one thing.

Which is probably why she likes him, the voice in the back of my head pointed out, pissing me off even further.

* * *

**~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 7~~~**

**(Takes place after Edward and Bella have their talk at the abandoned school grounds where he _dared_ her to let some of her walls down and just let things that 'feel right' happen.)**

**~Edward~**

Our entire walk home I felt like a smiling idiot.

I'd actually managed to talk to her. I'd gotten everything out just the way I had rehearsed it in my head while I'd watched that sleaze ball feel her up in the damn hot tub right in front of me.

She'd listened though, and she'd agreed to let things happen so all in all, tonight had been a huge success in my eyes and my reward was going to be sleeping beside her while I held her in my arms.

"So do you like the left side, or the right side?" she quietly asked while we climbed the steps to the front door of the house. She was holding on tightly to my arm while her other hand held Jane safely in place at her side with her head pressed against my shoulder, hence the stupid shit eating grin on my face.

"I think you're the first person to ever ask me that," I laughed softly then turned her in my arms at the foot of the stairs inside our house. I smiled down at her and tilted her chin up towards me so I could kiss her lips once more before we headed up to bed, to share her bed, together, for the first time, overnight.

_You sound absolutely pussified Cullen. Calm yourself before you jizz in your fucking pants over the thought of cuddling. _

_Jesus._

I wouldn't push any moves on her tonight. I was determined to take things slow. And by slow I meant we wouldn't fuck for at least a week. When the time finally did come, I wanted her to appreciate what I had to offer. I wanted to hear her admit she needed it more than she'd ever needed anything else in her life. Till then we would experiment. I needed to explore. Find out exactly what she liked and how she liked it so I'd ruin her from ever enjoying a good fuck from anyone else ever again. "I'll take whatever side you want to give me, Rock Star," I smiled and kissed her once more then pulled at her hand to follow me up the stairs. She, of course, responded by rolling her eyes at me and biting that damn lip of hers.

_Does she have any idea how crazy that little nervous tick of hers drives me?_

_Doubtful. _

If there was one thing I'd learned about my roommate it was that she rarely consider what others might think… or how they might perceive something when it came to her actions.

She reacted without acting, and that's what I loved about her.

"I'll take the right side then. I like to look out the window while I fall asleep," she admitted bashfully while looking past me up the stairs. I smiled and shook my head as we made our way up the steps then pulled back the beaded curtain in our doorway so she could enter before me.

"Sounds perfect," I whispered softly in return then helped guide her towards our shared dresser with my hands at her hips. She turned back and smiled at me then tapped my hands lightly with hers, signaling it was safe to let her go in the dark.

My mind was still reeling over everything she had shared with me regarding her past, and her family… or lack there of.

I couldn't even imagine what would make two people have a child and then just leave said child behind for other people to raise while they cruised the world selfishly. It was no wonder Bella was as closed off as she was when it came to letting people in, permanently.

It was interesting to me though, that while we were talking… I saw more heartbreak in her eyes when we talked about her living grandfather whom she apparently no longer had a relationship with, than I did when she talked about the murder of her parents.

There was still so much to learn, so much I needed to find out.

_Bella's the way she is for a reason, Cullen. Don't start thinking you can repair something that doesn't want to be fixed._

I growled at my pestering conscious and pulled my sleepwear from the drawer then told Bella I would be back before I made my way to the bathroom so I could change and complete the rest of my nighttime routine.

As soon as the bathroom door was shut, I considered rubbing one out, only because I knew once she was in my arms it would be difficult to keep my dick at ease.

"What the hell. Better to be safe than sorry," if I didn't do it, it would only be that much harder to keep my hand out of her pants. I knew my weaknesses and my limitation.

I turned the sink back on to drown out any impulsive moans that might escape me and quickly got to work in the blind spot of the room, closing my eyes to relive the first night Bella and I had shared her bed in this house.

With that mental picture alone, and her kiss fresh on my lips, I was done in a minute and a half.

_Well that was a record breaker._

I swiftly rinsed my hand in the sink and turned the water off while taking in a deep breath.

Now I was ready.

Now I would be able to sleep beside her without poking her with my damn demanding dick all night.

She was already in her bed when I came back into the room but the second I was standing beside her bed she lifted the comforter up to signal my welcomed invitation.

I smiled and slid in beside her, pulling her back up against my shirtless chest so I could wrap my arm around her, tucking my fingertips just past the elastic of her pants.

"Feeling better after a little _self-release_?" She asked with a quiet laugh and I sucked back a breath while I tried to figure out my best defense.

_Fucking-A! How the hell? _

"Look it was either that or you'd be dreaming about getting held up at gun point all night," I finally snapped then pinched her side playfully making her yelp out in surprise.

Tanya stirred in her bed for a moment and I quickly placed my opened hand over Bella's mouth to muffle her reaction, not wanting to wake our roommate up. She settled down almost instantly and relaxed herself back against my chest, taking in her own deep breath before running her hand down my arm to lace her fingers with mine.

I smiled beside her ear and kissed her temple softly before increasing my grip on her and closing my eyes.

"Sweet dreams," I whispered, loving the feel of her hip under my hand while her fingers pressed against mine.

"Night, M&M."

* * *

For a moment I forgot where I was, and who I was holding. I'd been woken up. By what? I wasn't sure, but I was awake now with Bella still in my arms. She stirred for a moment then mumbled something about there being a _reason_, and a _pact_. I knew that's what she'd said because it was the same two phrases she would whisper in her sleep almost every night since being here.

I tightened my grip around her and soothed her quietly beside her ear hoping it would help her relax again without waking her.

"coward… so selfish. No better," she mumbled with her brow set sternly in her sleep.

I felt guilty listening. It was different now. I don't know why, but it was. After seeing the way her face crumbled in the hot tub over the revelation that I'd already been listening in on her while she'd slept… I felt like I a total douche bag now. Even though I was completely innocent in the situation this time.

I panicked and whispered a soft, _shhhhh_ beside her ear then pressed my lips to her temple, praying it would settle her down because even Tanya was starting to stir from her own bed now.

Bella's face grimaced one last time before it softened with one more hushed breath from me. Her hand squeezed mine in front of her chest without opening her eyes and I felt my own body relax. That's when she surprised me by turning herself around in my arms to lay herself across my chest after pushing me onto my back beside her. She hugged me tightly and I quickly pulled her deeper into me with my right arm while I watched her body rise and fall with every breath I took. Once she was completely settled it was that sight alone that helped me fall back asleep.

* * *

**~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 8~~~**

**(Edward's POV from when Bella goes off on her first ever "date" with Aro.)**

**~EDWARD~**

All it took was the simple sound of a doorbell for me to feel as though someone had just sucker punched me right in the gut. Even though I knew Aro was coming, and that she would be leaving with him, I still didn't feel prepared to watch her go.

Why the fuck I had to care was a little more than annoying to me. There was just something about this guy. The way he watched her, the way he put his hands on her, none of it seemed… sincere. It felt more like a performance than something real and that bugged the shit out of me.

From what I had witnessed thus far, rarely did I ever see Aro's actions line up with his words and that just didn't sit well.

He was out for one thing, and one thing only, which was the only reason Bella was interested in him in the first place. I wasn't an idiot. Over the last few weeks, while getting to know each other, Bella had opened up quite a bit to me. Enough so that I could somewhat understand the way her twisted sex hungry mind worked.

She fucked to forget, and she fucked because it made her feel wanted and needed.

What she wanted to forget… that was still a mystery, but I was carefully tearing the layers away. Slowly but surely she'd let me all the way in.

If this was going to happen tonight, I needed to put my game face on. I needed to show her the creep didn't bother me… even though while descending the stairs towards them all I could think about was slamming my fist into his face.

My eyes were locked with hers to help me focus, and I could easily see the unease in her expression. I sucked it up and did the only thing a non caveman could do when a girl he's slowly become obsessed with is about to go out on a date with a wanna-be-fuck-buddy; I extended my arm and shook his hand then asked what he had planned for the evening.

_Pussy._

I knew it was slightly ridiculous to even present the question to him, seeing how I could read the real answer on his face while he eyed Bella in her dress and high heeled boots as if she were a piece of meat.

"Well, nothing too out of this world, but you'll have to ask Bella about my grade after I get her home." he answered, still staring at her with a stupid smirk.

Right, like he could ever plan anything 'out of this world'. Maybe they could do each others makeup. I'm sure he's got loads of eyeliner tips.

_Okay, your vagina is showing again. Man up Cullen. _

I felt my heart rate accelerate and forced a smile then told them to have a good time. After glancing at Bella I gave her a special little smirk of my own, hoping she'd appreciated my ability to be civil to Mr. Douche Bag, and pushed myself off the wall to go find the rest of my housemates.

Before I'd even made it into the living room I could hear them all whispering. I already knew I'd be walking into battle. This would be the first time questions would be asked, and it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.

The room hushed upon my entry and I instantly rolled my eyes then made my way to fridge to pull out a beer before settling in on the sofa between Tanya and Alice.

"You okay?" Alice asked quietly after bumping me with her shoulder.

"I'm fine. Bella and I are nothing serious. We just like to be around each other when we have nothing better to do." I slightly lied.

We weren't anything serious and we did both have an understanding that we would see other people. The only thing I was lying about was being fine about it.

Internally I wanted to punch something… repeatedly.

"You guys are two of the biggest bull shitters I have ever witnessed. The fact that you're both still acting like there's nothing more than friendly cuddle fucking going on between the two of you is ridiculous." Rose snickered then turned a page in her magazine with so much force it sent a tear down the center of it.

"We're not _fucking_," I mumbled then took another gulp from my beer while Tanya moved herself closer against me to rest her head on my shoulder.

"It's okay to admit you care about her Eddie," she informed me just above her own whisper. I found myself rolling my eyes again over her mixed signals when her hand some how made its way to my thigh to give it a 'caring' squeeze.

"I do care about her, as a friend. She's free to do what she wants though, just as I am," I replied back, draping my arm around Tanya to bring her in closer against me, just as one of the other camera guys rounded us with his camera propped on his shoulder.

She giggled just like I knew she would and I thankfully felt a forgetting smile spread across my face.

* * *

After stopping in at two dead bars, we ended up at Volturi's. It was really, extremely unfortunate that the best bar in town had to also belong to the one guy in town that I wouldn't mind hitting upside the head with my skateboard.

At least this evening I wouldn't have to deal with his eye fucking of my roommate.

Or so I had thought.

We'd been at the bar for about two hours and everyone had pretty much paired up, including Alice who was off in a corner with Jasper while the other camera guy took over for him. I'd gained the attention of a fairly decent looking red head but my history with red heads seemed to bring on a sour the taste with her obvious advances. I was dealing though, it was nice to have my own distraction in my lap while my roommate was off getting hers.

When I saw Bella sitting with some unfamiliar creep a few feet away watching my own new friend nibble on my ear I almost pushed the poor girl off my lap to the floor. I somehow managed to hold it together, though, not without catching the anger in Bella's eyes over the attention I was receiving elsewhere.

_Oh that's right, we don't like having a taste of our own medicine._

Bella had to be the most confusing creatures I had ever come across. In all our talks about her _ways_ back home, she'd made it fairly clear that she was able to do what she did because of her lack of ability to form any true connections with the men she spread her legs for. So why was she sending daggers my way when she knew this was the arrangement she was accustomed to and the one she supposedly wanted?

_Maybe because she knows she should be the one in your lap? Possibly? Yes. Maybe?_

The look on her face spoke volumes. She was jealous, and I was making progress.

My internal happy dance didn't last long though when I saw her jet from her table towards the back entrance by herself. For a moment I considered going after her but it didn't take long for Aro to also notice his date had taken off. While I watched him talk with his friend, who had seemed to be placing his own moves on his buddies date, I felt my anxiety rise.

The look in Bella's eyes had also told me something else.

She was now, more than ever, on a new, firmly established mission to get her own distraction between her legs.

I needed to get my ass home.

Her glare had told me everything I needed to know.

She didn't really want him.

She wanted me.

While I sat there mulling over how I should handle the situation my new red headed friend released my ear and suggested that we take off and head back to her place to, 'further our fun'.

"As amazing as that sounds, I think I'm going to call it a night. I'm sure we will see each other around though," I told her gently then tapped her hips, signaling that she should remove herself from my lap.

She fussed for a few seconds and begged that I change my mind but I waved her off and insisted it really was time for me to get home.

Every minute that past was another minute that brought Bella closer to removing her clothing. I knew this.

"Hey you guys ready to take off?" I asked Emmett and Rose who were grinding each other on the dance floor to some bad nineties hip hop music.

"What?! It's still early bro!" Emmett replied sounding like a whining child.

"Yeah, go get Bella yourself. The rest of us are staying." Rose chimed in with an obnoxious smirk.

I didn't respond. I just grabbed my jacket from the rack by the door and left them behind in search of a taxi so I could break my own cherry tonight. For the first time ever... I was going to be a cock block.

* * *

**~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 9~~~**

**~Edward~**

When we got to the bar, knowing my move would make her smile, I quickly offered to get Bella her first drink. I wasn't some super hero, I couldn't _always_ mask my jealousy when it came to her other, _friend. _Aside from that though, I also got a kick out of seeing her squirm a little when ever I'd suggest getting in the way.

There was just something about that, 'WhatTheFuck', expression of hers that always brought a smirk to my face, and a twitch to my dick.

Just as I'd hoped, she smiled in response and rolled her eyes at me, then with a wave of her hand, she made her way towards the bar where Aro was already grinning in her direction.

I watched her lean across the countertop to kiss him, and sneered at the sight of his hand as it moved against her cheek, holding her in place just a little while longer while their lips remained locked in motion.

_Fucking douche._

Jasper of course was getting it all on camera.

I continued to casually glance in their direction while also scanning the rest of the bar, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never keep my eyes off of her for longer than a few seconds.

Every stupid day it was getting harder.

It was like watching her swim against the current... her pretending she really had any interest in the sleaze ball that purely had only one interest when it came to her... it frustrated me beyond belief.

I somewhat understood Bella's need to have emotionless hook ups, but what I didn't understand was why she had to be interested in _this_ guy. The only thing I could come up with was that her attraction was based solely on their shared interest in music. For whatever reason, that made it easier for her to connect with him.

_See this is what you get for quitting those keyboard lessons when you were seven to start skateboarding, Cullen. _

I sipped on the beer Alice had brought to the table for me, then looked away from Bella, and her _buddy, _to redirected my attention to Rose who was running her hand through her hair looking equally bored.

"So what's up with you and Em, you guys fucking yet?" I asked breaking the silence while Jasper rounded us with his camera resting at his shoulder.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at me then flicked a piece of napkin in my direction before slowly taking a sip from her own glass. She was obviously trying to think of something witty to say in return. "What's it to you? Interested in a ride, Edward?" she teased with a smirk causing Alice to choke on her margarita.

"Rose!" Alice yelped, looking embarrassed enough for the both of us.

"What? Bella's over there making out with bartender boy, and Tanya gets to say obscene things… why can't I play too?"

Rose had already downed three drinks at the house before we'd left this evening. Therefore her filter had already been turned legitimately off.

Thankfully Bella was at our table now and my attention was quickly returned to the one person in the room that could easily make everything else disappear.

_You sound like a pussy little shit, Cullen. Chill the hell out._

I took in a deep breath and tried my best to focus on the conversation at our table, but all I could think about was how badly I wanted to pull Bella into my lap, and kiss her neck after she'd bundled up all her dreads into a wild ponytail at the top of her head.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Thankfully, because the bar was so busy, Aro stayed away most of the evening. Bella was pretty much attached to my hip and I didn't mind one fucking bit. We'd spent the last forty-five minutes talking to only each other in a quiet corner of the bar while one of the other camera guys stayed close by keeping an eye on us.

I couldn't help but notice how close our faces were while we both leaned up against the wall sharing stories about what high school had been like for us.

Bella didn't go to school much, but she did graduated with honors. She apparently had a sponge like brain that absorbed anything, and everything, within seconds when it came to her studies, but it had also kept her very bored when it came to going to class and learning in a structured environment. I already knew she was brilliant, so this news didn't surprise me.

After a while I finally got up the nerve to confront her about the arrangement she'd shared with her group of _boys _back home. I was curious because I just couldn't understand how a group of friends could hang out, and be so close, all while sharing the same girl.

It made a little more sense when she explained she wasn't the only girl in the group, and that they had rules.

I felt slightly better after her explanation, but it still seemed more than fucked to me. I mean seriously, how the hell does a group of middle school aged kids decide one day that they're all going to be fuck buddies? Where the hell were all their parents?!

When Aro came up from behind her and slide his dirty hand down, and across her stomach to pull her up against him, I immediately saw red. Because of the petrified look on Bella's face, I knew my expression had also given me away.

She panicked and turned Aro's own face with her hand, then released some information I had not been aware of till that very moment.

She was planning on going home with him tonight.

_Mother-fuck. How the hell did you not know about this?_

_Maybe because she hadn't said a fucking word about it to me._

_Not cool. _

There was something else that had bothered me though. It had happened right before our unfortunate interruption.

When I had asked her if anyone had ever gotten jealous or territorial with her… her face had gone completely blank, and that was a rare expression for Bella. She almost always gave herself away with her facial reactions, but in that moment I didn't see a thing, and I'd definitely noticed.

There was a story there, but she wouldn't share it.

Not yet anyways.

She rewarded my decent behavior with a kiss to my cheek, and my smile doubled when I realized Aro had caught it's delivery. I was able to calm myself down a bit while I watched her climb the stage to take her place behind the keyboard. I grimaced at the sound of Aro's obnoxious voice on the mic while she scanned the crowd to make eye contact with me. She gave a quick wink in my direction then said her own hello to the audience with a slight wave of her hand.

When they responded with cheers she smiled, and I felt my pussy whipped heart ache over her sincere grin. For a girl who despised being the center of attention most of the time, she always seemed at ease when she was up on stage.

While listening to the words she sang I frowned.

Although the tempo to the song was up beat, light, and fun… the lyrics were the exact opposite.

All about being alone… still being alone… holding on to friends… lists of people she didn't miss… being better off without having anyone… it was fucked up, and I was more than annoyed with the obvious truth she felt while singing those words.

She still looked happy though, but that only frustrated me more.

_How could she be happy and still sing about that kind of stuff? How could she be content while thinking those lines were her messed up reality?_

I wanted to know more. Something about the look in her eyes when I returned from the bathroom, after she'd gotten down from the stage, told me she wanted to share more with me too.

I just needed to figure out how to get it out of her without scaring her away. I didn't want her to push me away again. I couldn't let that happen.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so those are the raw outtakes from chapters 5-9. **

**Next set of outtakes will be flashbacks from Bella's past giving you a look at her relationship with her grandfather, step grandmother, Riley, and how everything went to hell fast.**

**You can expect to see those tomorrow. **

**As always, reviews make me smile. **


	29. Outtakes CH 10-13 BellaRiley Flashbacks

**A/N: These outtakes are *NOT* beta'd, like AT ALL. So my apologies for that. **

****These specific outtakes below are flashbacks from Bella's past...****

**The lead up and then explosion after her grandfather catches her with his (much older than her) assistant Riley, which subsequently leads to her disownment.**

**It gets heavy.**

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 10~~~~**

_**FLASHBACKS #1 (of 4) from Bella's Past**_

_**~Bella~ **_

It was rainy and cold. A typical Saturday afternoon here in the not so sunny mountains of Oregon. I felt a slight tremor shoot down my spine after hearing my grandfather clear his throat outside the opened door of the den where I had pretended to study.

"Isabella, will you be eating dinner with us tonight?" he enquired from the doorway where he was rummaging through today's mail drop off. Lots and lots of letters from his constituents. All of which needed to be sorted, filed, and then ignored. I knew his mind was factually thousands of miles away, behind his desk in D.C. not here at the family compound in the middle of no effing where.

I took in a deep breath and closed my book and laptop so I could slide them back into my bag before standing up to answer his question.

I could have not answered.

He never would have noticed.

"Um, no. Not tonight. I'm going to head over to Jake's, and I probably won't be home till late. They're having a big barbeque tonight," I lied, beaming on the inside over my real plans for the evening.

"Oh okay then. I'll tell Judge Gray and his wife you said hello. See you tomorrow then," he replied without looking up from the envelopes in his hands.

I sneered at his obvious lack of interest in me and my goings-on then let out a loud sigh, "Yeah, I may even stay out, so don't be alarmed if my cars not here in the morning," I added casually, running my hands through my hair while I waited for a reaction.

A reaction I knew would never come.

I didn't _have_ a car.

I didn't even _have_ a damn license, or know how to drive.

"Right right. Have a nice night then. So many letters. Not enough time. Where's my phone, I need Riley here. What was I thinking giving him the day off? I haven't been able to get in touch with him all afternoon! Where is he?!" The sound of Riley's name being spoken from my grandfathers lips instantly created a familiar spark that shot down my spine all the way to the tips of my toes. I turned to head up the stairs so I could disappear into my room with my grin safely hidden on my face.

I knew where Riley was. He was at the hotel. Checking in.

The same hotel that had become our regular meet up location over the last three months of my life. I would be meeting him there later this evening, and he'd already promised me a memorable night. Though, every night with Riley seemed to be insanely memorable.

I couldn't wait to be in his arms again. It had only been a week since the last time we'd been together. But that one single week had without a doubt felt like an eternity.

Something pained me with that thought, but I brushed it away. I was happy. I wouldn't question that, I couldn't or I'd be shutting myself out from experiencing everything Riley was capable of sharing with me.

_Everything happens for a reason_. That's one of Jake's great mottos, I'd heard it from him all my life so I knew it was true.

Riley and I meeting- it was destiny. Him landing a job with my grandfather the way he did, with all the odds stacked against him… we were destined to meet each other someday. It wasn't our fault that there was a fifteen year age difference. Neither of us should have to suffer because of the year we were born.

What was that saying of Paul's… oh, right- 'Age ain't nothing but a number.' Words to live by right there.

Once I was eighteen my family wouldn't have a say in any of my decisions. If I wanted to be with Riley. I would be with Riley. In two weeks time all this hiding could end and I'd finally be able to live my life the way I wanted, with the people I wanted surrounding me. People who cared about me. A man who loved me.

A part of me felt guilty for all the sneaking around I'd been doing over these last few months. No one knew about my newest friend. Someone who actually cared more about talking, than they did about fucking. Not even my closest friends, the people who knew me best.

They of course had an idea that something was up. After I made myself a little less… _available,_ they began to pry a little, but I'd ultimately shut them down the minute I realized they were fishing for information.

I glanced at my watch and noticed I was running late then quickly slid my feet into my Chucks and grabbed my overnight bag to head back downstairs. I scanned the surroundings and saw no one. With that bit of information I half skipped-half ran my way into the kitchen where my heels quickly kicked back at the sight of my step grandmothers disapproving face as she extended her arm out towards me like a school crossing guard.

"Stop running like a child. You're almost eighteen for goodness sakes." she snickered while eyeing my outfit choice with distaste clearly on her face.

"Your grandfather just told me you won't be joining us for dinner. Which is probably wise considering I'll be serving all of your favorites. I know how hard it is for you, these days, to set limits for yourself when it comes to placing appropriate portions on your plate. I suppose your absence tonight is a blessing in disguise, though, it would be nice to have you home one of these nights while your grandfather is here."

I glared at her in response and felt my teeth clench together with my fists imitating the same stance at my sides.

"I'll be home tomorrow night. Sunday dinner. As always, with a bow in my hair and my manners in place." I replied with a straight expression, praying that would be enough for her to let me go.

"I noticed you haven't worn the new jeans I bought for you last week. Did you not like them?"

My eyes narrowed further. I knew where this was going, and I was beyond done with discussing it.

"They didn't fit." I mumbled then began to make my way past her, towards the front door.

"But they were the same size I've always gotten for you. Have you gotten… _larger,_ Isabella?"

And there it was.

"Yes grandmother. I've gotten larger. At almost eighteen, I am no longer a size zero. It's the end of the freaking world. Alert the presses. Oh wait, I know! Maybe I'm preggers? Maybe it's all just baby weight." I toyed wanting to see her squirm over such a twisted suggestion.

"Isabella Swan! Mind your manners! Don't even joke about such things. That would kill your grandfather."

"You mean it would kill his campaign by sending it into a tailspin." I corrected her, then rolled my eyes. "I'll work out longer and add another day at the gym, okay? You're absolutely right, I've been slacking and it's starting to show." I offered, not wanting to hear anymore. It was the same argument day in and day out whenever I was here.

It had been the same way my entire life.

"Fine. No more late night snacks either. I'm telling Maria to lock the cabinets from now on, before she goes to bed. I'm only looking out for your best interest dear. No man will ever want to marry you if you start to look like a crazy haired cow. It's bad enough you're tearing up your clothes and wearing those god awful sneakers everyday of your life. How you think any boy will ever take you seriously, it is beyond me, child."

I scoffed at the mental picture of a crazy haired cow in black and white chucks and reached my hand out to take the diet pill from her hand that she was extending my way.

Another routine. It was our little secret though. My special little bonding ritual with my dear sweet step grandmother.

I'd been popping these things like candy since I was eleven. That was the summer I'd developed a slight pooch in my gut after living off of ding-dongs and ho-ho's with coke and chocolate milk after I'd stayed with Jakes family for a few weeks.

* * *

**~~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 11~~~~~**

_**FLASHBACK from Bella's Past (2 of 4)**_

**~~Bella~~**

Once I was out the front door I took off running towards the garden behind the house. I refused to let myself look towards any of the windows. I didn't give a damn if there were curious eyes watching me make my escape. Being back in his arms was all that mattered now. More than ever I felt the need to be with the one person who actually seemed to appreciate my existence, and not question or judge it.

Days like this made me wish I wasn't such a chicken shit when it came to sitting behind the wheel of a car. Getting to Riley faster would be a huge bonus, but the idea of driving a car… yeah… not a welcoming thought. The one time Jake tried to teach me I'd almost gotten us both killed, and ever since that day I'd vowed to never place my hands on a steering wheel again.

Sure we were only fourteen when I'd driven his dads old red truck off a short cliff into the ocean, but that didn't matter. Seeing my life flash before my eyes once was enough to ensure I'd rely on public transportation, friends, private drivers, and/or bicycles for the rest of my days.

I wasn't surprised to find Marco and Carlos working hard amongst the rose bushes in the garden. It was however unfortunate that I would have to pass by them to get to the shed where my bike was stored. They offered me a kind hello with a wave of their hand, and I returned the gesture with a smile and a wave of my own, praying there would be no questions.

As twisted as it was, the 'help', as my grandparents liked to call them, knew more about me than my own flesh and blood ever would.

"Off for another adventure, Miss Swan?" Carlos inquired, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Si. As always, Carlos. Another day of acting first, and asking questions later, " I replied with a wink, then mounted my bike after pulling it free from the opened shed.

"If you can wait, I'm about to head into town. I can give you a ride to the bus station? It looks like rain Miss."

"No thank you. According to my step grandmother, I need the exercise. I have a poncho if it starts to rain. I'll be fine. Promise. See you tomorrow."

I did my best to avoid his eyes, then pushed my foot off the ground, sending me forward on my bike. I gave one last wave before peddling myself towards the driveway doing my best to hid my anxious grin… just incase there really were spies lurking in a windows.

"Be careful Miss Swan. Remember, trouble is not your friend," Carlos called after me with apprehension clearly in his tone. I shot him a thumbs up, and rolled my eyes feeling thankful for a moment that the only people who ever pried, really had no reign on me anyways.

It was a long ride, but I didn't mind that. Thankfully, the sky cleared up as soon as I'd crossed over into the neighboring town that had become my safe haven.

When I got to the motel I pulled my bike around back and fastened its chain around the water pump against the building. I pulled my brush out from my bag and detangled the mess I'd created at the top of my head during my seven mile ride.

Once I'd tamed my hair I tied it back into a pony tail and stuffed it under an old baseball cap, then slide my sunglasses back over the bridge of my nose. I applied some Dr. Pepper lip gloss to my lips, and giggled to myself over my ridiculous disguise before also pulling the hood of my jacket up over the back of my head.

Slowly, I rounded the building and scanned the parking lot three times before allowing myself to head to our usual room.

Room 143

Riley said he picked that room to be ours, because the numbers stood for, 'I love you'. Cheesy yes, but it still shot sparks across my body the first time he shared that line with me.

I tapped on the door lightly two times then added one solid knock signaling it was me.

He answered almost instantly.

After swinging the door open, his arms quickly pulled me inside and slammed the door shut again before he locked it securely behind me.

"I missed you so much, Bella. It literally hurts to be away from you now," his sweet words made my cheeks tingle thanks to the massive smile he'd created on my face. He always knew just what to say to help me forget about everything else. He kissed my lips softly, then removed the cap from my head, and the elastic band from my pony tail, allowing my hair to fall freely around my shoulders again.

"I know, it's been awful. I can't wait for this campaign to be over so you'll have more free time again. Just a few more weeks and we won't have to continue with all this hiding. I'll be eighteen and we can just be open about all of it. I mean, of course we will have to pretend that we just started seeing each other, but still. I'm dying for that freedom. To be able to walk down the street holding your hand."

Riley shook his head agreeing with me then carefully cleared his throat. I felt him shift his weight, still holding me in his arms while I increased my own grasp around his body. My grin grew when he began walking us towards the bed we'd both become very familiar with over the last few months of our lives. "I can't wait for that either Bella, but lets talk about all that later. Right now I just want to lay with you, and hear about your week. Did you go see your friends, or were you trapped with the evil step-grandmother?"

"Trapped mostly. They've been busy studying for finals, but I did go see a movie with Jake and Paul last night. They drove down and picked me up, then brought me back because I told them I had something to do today," I smirked, and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, "I can't wait for you to be able to meet them. That's another thing I'm looking forward to."

"I'm sure they won't like me very much,"

"Nonsense. They'll be happy I've found someone who makes me happy. Almost all of them have girlfriends right now, so they haven't been missing me much," I shared, still smiling. Riley laughed lightly, and slowly pushed me back onto the bed before taking his place beside me. His fingers ran themselves through my hair, brushing the loose strands from my face before he kissed my lips gently two more times causing my eyes to close with the return of his touch.

"I see. I didn't realize I was getting you _exclusively_ these days,"

"Of course, I mean… well… since you and I started… well… since we started coming here, you're the only person I've been with. Hopefully you've been treating me with the same respect, I mean I thought that's what we were doing… right?"

"Bella, you are the only person I want to touch. These are the only lips I want to kiss. Your body is the only body I want to press myself against. You've become everything to me. You're all I want, and all I need. I promise you that," Riley whispered softly before he leaned in to press his lips against my forehead affectionately.

I smiled into his eyes and felt his hands begin to travel down my hips, and across my waist before he pulled me in further against him.

I could already feel his excitement pressing itself against me and it instantly made my smile double.

"Is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" I teased playfully. He laughed and nodded his head, then continued to pull me closer against him.

Well him, and his massive hard-on.

"Sorry, its been like this since I got into the car to come see you. The anticipation of seeing you... it can be debilitating, my Bella." he admitted bashfully before pulling my body up over him so I'd straddle the top of his hips. His smile was beyond contagious and it continued to make me blush. I buried my face between his neck and shoulder blade and giggled feeling embarrassed by the way he looked at me. Only Riley had this kind of effect. It was rare for me to take the back seat when it came to directing any kind of foreplay but for whatever reason that was exactly what I did during our moments together. He liked to be in charge, and I liked to let him.

"Did your grandfather ask any questions?"

"Nope, I told him I was staying at Jakes. He could give two shits about where I am, or what I'm doing. You know this," I reminded my secret lover, then kissed his neck before biting it with my teeth playfully.

"Careful baby, no marks."

I rolled my eyes and gave him a swift salute with my hand to my forehead before rolling myself off of him with a fake pout replacing my smile.

* * *

**~~~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 12~~~~~~**

_**FLASHBACK FROM BELLA'S PAST (3 OF 4)**_

I stared down at Riley and felt my heart skip another beat. The way he looked at me, during moments like this… it was always as though he were seeing me for the first time but everytime falling in love with me all over again.

It made me feel special. Important. Loved.

Over the last few months it had become everything to me. I of course realized how dangerous that was, but I didn't care. He loved me. He cared about me. He told me time and time again that I was his everything. I knew he would never hurt me. I knew it was safe to trust him and let him in.

Sometimes, when I would let myself daydream about what our future together would be like, I would imagine us living someplace secluded, in the middle of no where. With a white picket fence, and a tire swing in the yard. We talked about kids once. I realize how ridiculous that sounds. An almost eighteen year old already thinking about starting a family with a man she's really barely known but half a year.

Riley was it though. I knew that. He was worth all the day dreams, all the fantasizing, because I knew he would be my forever, just as soon as the legality of our relationship was no longer an issue.

"You look unbelievably gorgeous standing there like that, with the light shinning behind you. Please, Bella. Come back here. I need you back in my arms."

I complied to his request and crawled back into the bed, easily laying myself beside him as he ran his hand through my loose curls that had fallen over my shoulders. "I love your hair, Bella. You know it's the first thing that made me notice you. I hope you'll never change it again. Not that I didn't enjoy the wild colors and the… _unique_ styling phase you went through a few months ago. I just really love this _classic_ look on you. It highlights all of your flawless features. You seriously are the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid my eyes on. I hope you realize that. You could have any guy in the world, but you chose me. I'm the luckiest guy on the planet because of that."

I laughed at his observation of my boring dulled hair and slowly pulled it back behind my shoulders. "You know before I met you, I had a bet with Jake that I would dread my hair the day I turned eighteen and moved out of my grandparents house for good."

"Well in that case I'm glad you met me. That would have been… a travesty."

He was on a roll this evening with making me giggle over his overly romantic one liners. Sometimes he really did get carried away with his words but I knew it was only because he loved me. The relationship the two of us had built with one another, nothing could test it. I was sure of that.

After his hand had found its way up and under my sweater his finger tips grazed the skin just below my navel. My body trembled feeling the warmth of his hand against the sensitive, pulsing parts of my body. I brought my lips to his, instantly letting my hunger take over. His strong hands flipped me over so that he was now propping himself above me on his forearms. He carefully extended his right hand to brush the loose strands of my hair away from my face.

"I've been thinking about making love to you again on this bed, since the last time you left me here in this room, Bella. My, Bella."

I smiled and bit at my bottom lip, feeling nervousness wash over my body over the amount of lust I saw in his eyes. Sex with Riley was always a wild ride. That was one of the things I loved about him. For whatever reason, he always made it a point to make every time different, but even though it always seemed new, he also always seemed to know exactly what he was doing when he pressed all of my sex hungry, needful, buttons. It was like our bodies were made for one another. No matter what we did, or how we did it, we always seemed to end on this incredible high full of ecstasy.

My clothes were off my body before I even realized his hands were moving. I knew what would come next, and I knew it would be incredible. This was everything we were. It was all I had to give him. My self.

For the first time in my life, with Riley, I truly felt as though I could be something to someone.

He'd given me that. The feeling and realization that I mattered. That I provided something to someone's otherwise meaningless life. At least that's what Riley would tell me.

Before me he was a workaholic loner but I'd brought him back to life. I'd given it all meaning to him again. I'd single handedly made it all worth while, simply by being a part of who he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun had just set, and Riley and I had just shared our third orgasm together when his phone buzzed on the nightstand beside the bed. He tapped my shoulder blade signaling for me to sit up so he could reach across me to retrieve the mobile device.

"Shit it's your grandfather."

"What does he want?" I asked, already bored with the conversation.

"He want's to know if I'm busy."

"Well that's not too random." I replied with a soft laugh before standing up from the bed to walk my naked body into the bathroom.

I could only imagine what my grandfather wanted from Riley now. Perhaps my dear sweet grandmother burnt the roast, so now Riley must save the day with a bucket of fried chicken. I snickered over the thought of my grandmother actually allowing fried chicken to be brought into her house and felt a smirk raise itself across my lips.

My day dream was instantly interrupted though by the sounds of loud banging coming from the hotel room door. I froze in panic and instantly wrapped a towel around my bare body.

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 12~~~~**

_**FLASHBACK from Bella's Past (4 of 4)**_

I heard the loud knock again and cracked the bathroom door open to find Riley standing against the door with his eye to the peep hole. His entire body was frozen, and his fists were balled at his sides.

He said nothing to me, he simply turned his body and quickly marched towards the bathroom then forcefully pushed me back inside, his face white with fear and his eyes blank of all emotion.

"Bella, get dressed now. Stay in here and be quiet."

"Why? Who is it?" I stammered searching his face for some kind of sign that he was just being overly cautious. He'd yet to look me in the eyes though, so deep down I already knew who ever it was, it wasn't good.

"It's Rick."

"Rick? As in the intern at my grandfathers office?"

"Yes. It's Rick and some other guy I've never seen before."

"But- but how did they know you were here? I'm confused. And why would they be here? What the hell is going on, Riley? I don't understand."

None of this made any sense. We were in the next town over. A good thirty minute drive from where they all worked when they were here in town. There was no reason why anyone would be out this way, no reason at all.

Unless… Unless they were out here for a very _specific_ reason.

My opened palm tried to catch my gasp after the realization began to sink in that we'd been found out. How much they knew was still a mystery, but in that second I felt as though my entire world was being yanked out from underneath me.

We'd been caught, and now we would have to face the scrutiny of it all a few weeks earlier than we had anticipated.

My first thought, as I donned my clothing, was to offer the unpaid intern some money in hopes of helping him keep his mouth shut for just a couple of weeks. However, I realized that probably wouldn't be an option when I heard the yelling begin on the other side of the locked bathroom door.

I pressed my ear to the wall and tried my best to make out their conversation.

"Who is in the bathroom Riley?" Someone questioned, the voices nearing the door. I instantly took a step back and hugged my waist tightly as my body began to trimmer. After my back hit the wall between the toilet and the shower I realized there was no where else for me to go. The door knob twisted, but thankfully I had locked it giving me at least a few more seconds to prepare myself for what was coming.

"It's none of your business who is here. Get the hell out! I'm not at work, this is my time! Who the hell are you to come here and question me? I'm your boss you pretentious little shit!"

"No! Senator Higginbotham is my boss and what you're doing here could cause him all kinds of trouble and you know that Riley! Now move away from the door!"

This intern had balls. I'd give him that. He obviously had huge hopes that this would earn him some major points with my grandfather, you could hear it in his tone. He wanted the Ass Kisser Of the Year Award and he wanted it badly.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly from between my lips then repeated the action while I tried to make out the rest of the arguing that was still taking place in the other room.

"Just leave! It doesn't matter who it is! It's none of your damn business! Get out before I call the police!"

Riley was getting pissed. I'd never heard him so angry before but he was absolutely livid. Just the sound of his voice alone was actually starting to frighten me. I could hear Rick laugh and the sound forced me to close my eyes knowing that was a stupid move on his part. Then the sounds of things being thrown around and knocked over began, just before the door came crashing open in front of me. I stood there wide eyed staring into Rick's equally shocked face.

"Bella? You're fucking the Senators teenage granddaughter?! Have you lost your goddamn mind? Christ Riley! She's not even eighteen!"

"I turn eighteen in two weeks!" I quickly shouted in return without thinking.

"Bella, be quiet." Riley hushed me without even looking in my general direction. He was too busy staring at the ground, looking absolutely ashamed over the entire situation, and with his expression I felt a dagger enter my heart.

He wasn't going to stand up for us.

He was going to fall like a house of cards. It was already that obvious.

"She's just a kid! Senator Higginbotham trusted you! You're wife is about to have a baby! What the hell are you doing here with her?"

"Wait. His WHAT!?" I screeched, unable to believe the words I had just heard. The dagger in my heart did a barrel roll and with that effect I had to reach out to grasp the bathroom sink in order to keep myself from falling to the floor.

I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. It just wasn't possible.

"Oh he didn't tell you? Yeah. He has a wife back in D.C. who is pregnant with their first child. Nice Riley. So you're lying to everyone, including Bella."

I stared at him as tears filled my eyes and felt the sobs making their way up my esophagus. Not only had I been sleeping with my grandfathers assistant… but I'd also been sleeping with a married man. A married man with a child on the way. I felt like the scum of the earth as the tears began to fall down my face and my gasps for air quickly took over the room.

That was when I noticed someone new had entered the room. My eyes looked passed Riley who was still standing in the doorway and they locked with my grandfathers bewildered face.

I felt as though I might vomit at any second over the sight of his heartbroken expression while he shook his head back and forth staring at me, his adulterous granddaughter.

"I-I… I didn't know he was married. I-I swear it. I-I had no idea," I stuttered through my sobs then covered my face with my hands unable to take anymore of their judgmental looks.

"Sir, this isn't what it looks like." Riley started to say but my grandfather quickly shushed him.

"Quiet. I don't want to hear it. This is not who I expected to find you with, which only leads me to believe Bella is not the only one you've been sleazing around with, Riley."

"But- what?" I asked, once again feeling as though my legs were about to give out on me.

What did he mean I wasn't the only one?

"I have pictures of him with another brunette in D.C. last month," the taller guy shared with a smug expression on his face.

"Who the hell are you?!" Riley yelped taking an aggressive step towards the stranger.

"I'm the private investigator that's been tailing your ass for the last three weeks."

"You hired someone to spy on me?" he asked turning to look at my grandfather again.

"You didn't leave me with much of a choice Riley. The fact that this is what I've found though, I don't think you'll be surprised to hear this, but you're of course fired."

"But… but she seduced me! I tried to cut things off numerous times. I told her to stay away. We were only meeting here so I could completely end it once and for all!"

I looked up once again feeling shock take over my body and my heart. How dare he try to make this out as though I were the one who initiated everything and begged for his attention. He sought me out. He asked me for my email address. He told me I was his everything. The only person he'd ever want… ever need.

"You LIAR!" I screamed then launched myself towards him, slapping his face as hard as I could. The sound of my hand meeting his skin echoed in the room and no one moved. "I didn't know. I swear it." I whispered one more time as a fresh tear ran down my cheek after I'd turned to look at my grandfather again.

"It doesn't matter Bella. He was my employee. I'm two months from an election. You knew better. I want you out of my house. I gave you another chance and this is what you do? I'm ashamed to even call you my granddaughter."

His words stung and my tears instantly began to flow more heavily.

"B-but, I AM your granddaughter. I have no one else. Please, don't do this. I know we don't always get along, but I need you. You're all the family I have."

"No. Until you learn to love yourself, and respect yourself, how can you expect anyone to ever love or care about you in return, Isabella? I can't have this kind of behavior in my house, now go wait in my car. We will take you back so you can collect your things. Once that's been done and you walk out my front door, I don't ever want to hear from you again. As far as I'm concerned, I no longer have a granddaughter."

* * *

**A/N: So now you know two things: 1. What prompted Bella to dread her hair... Riley was obsessed with her unknotted locks and had begged her to never change it. and 2. The meaning behind Bella's tattoo in Italian under her breast, "Love yourself first" (It was to remind her of her grandfathers last words to her).** **You also probably hate Riley and Bella's grandfather just a little bit more. **

**One more batch of grouped outtakes. Those will go up Monday. *wink***

**Would love to hear your thoughts after getting a look into Bella's past! Please review! **

***IRL is up for Fic of the week over at The Lemonade Stand! It would make my day if you felt the urge and followed that urge to head over there and cast a vote! I've included a link at the bottom of my profile. ;)***

***Twi Fanfiction Recs has also nominated IRL for best completed Fic in May! That link can be found on my profile too. Thanks so much!***


	30. IRL Outtakes Chapters 14-26

**A/N: These outtakes are NOT beta'd, like AT ALL. So my apologies for that. It was hard to send my beta a 12,000 word chapter then follow it up with a outtake to also beta. Lol**

**If you reviewed the chapters these outtakes are the same as the ones you should have received in a PM (just uncensored and slightly modified).**

**Please note: There was no outtake written for Chapter 16. **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**~~~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 14~~~~~~**

_This takes place the night Bella and the gang played another round of Well I Never, when she decided to entertain everyone with a pole dance and her rapping skills…. And it will be told from Edwards POV. *whispers*- If you could… I'd suggest pulling up you tube and playing Six Foot Seven Foot by Lil Wayne while reading the outtake. It will help set the mood. _

**~Edward~**

I'd been watching Bella outside on the porch with James for the last half hour, secretly wishing I was the one who had her sitting against me, with her head on my shoulder, while she smiled and laughed at the things _I_ said.

Ridiculous that I would be jealous of a person who had zero interest in someone with a vagina, but I was… and I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, Bella would always be the one thing I craved more than anything else, especially when she was within reach, but so out of reach, all at the same time… if that made sense?

_You never make sense these days, what the fuck are you talking about, Cullen? Jesus. _

"Let's get this party going again guys, come on! It's not even three in the morning and everyone's starting to pass out! I live with a bunch of amateurs!" Emmett hollered after turning the volume up on the stereo in the living room. I smiled hearing the familiar beat of a Lil' Wayne song. I didn't listen to much rap but he was one of my best friends favorite artists so I was a little familiar with some of his stuff.

Not as familiar as Bella, though, _apparently_.

Her voice nearly startled me right off my stool a few feet away from her in the kitchen that connected to the porch, "Holy shit! I love this song! Turn this shit up!" she yelped, before leaping up off of the bench she was sharing with James. I felt my jaw drop at the sight of her rotating her hips with her arms straight up in the air and instantly repositioned myself in my seat to camouflage the obvious bulge I was now harboring in my pants. I felt my grin double over the sight of my Rock Star literally booty dancing her way towards the pole beside the hot tub, in ways I never could have imagined, let alone hoped to see someday.

_Yet another talent she'd been hiding from you._

"Woo! Go Bella!" Tanya hollered, waving her beer bottle in the air, pushing Bella to continue with her show.

"Ba-banana-ba-banana!" Bella was shouting over the bass of the music, her body still moving to the beat while her hands purposely rubbed across her breasts and down her midsection from the outside of her shirt. Every swipe of her fingertips across her chest made me feel like both my heart and my dick would explode at any minute. Even Emmett and Jasper seemed to be enjoying the show, especially by the looks of their opened jaw's lying on the floor. Rose of course looked anything but amused but that only made me smile more.

"Damn, that girl can dance. No wonder your obsessed with getting in her panties!" Emmett whispered lowly with a quiet grunt while his hand anxiously tugged at his hair. His eyes never once left Bella's hips while she swayed them back and forth in front of us looking ridiculously sexy.

"Watch it. Do I really need to officially call dibs here?" I asked sarcastically, unable to hide my smirk over the show Bella was giving us, "Because if I do, she's fucking mine, bro." I warned him, still grinning deviously. She looked unbelievably comfortable up there dancing against the pole on the hot tub deck, swinging her hair all over the place and smiling more than I'd seen her do in days. The more I watched the more I felt like I was seeing the real, care free, Bella peaking through again and I fucking loved it.

It was when Bella started toying with the idea of pulling her top up over her head that I felt the need to finally step in and Bella-sit, but she was of course quick to tell me to fuck off.

"Don't be such a prude, Edward! I have a bra on. Jesus." she hissed then wrapped her arms around my neck only to fall against me in an all too familiar way. She was out like a light and I had no choice but to scoop her up into my arms, instantly cradling her against me.

"Nice catch Cullen. Can I help you with that?" Emmett offered with anticipation clearly taking over his common sense. I rolled my eyes and told him I had it under control.

"You sure? I could totally take her legs for you."

"Emmett. I've got it." I insisted, throwing him one last glare before turning around to head towards the stairs so I could put Bella to bed.

"Good looking out, Edward." James praised me with a wink and swift thumbs up. I nodded my head and hid my smirk then slowly brought Bella and myself up to our room. I didn't bother flipping the lights on. I didn't want to disturb her and by now I could easily find my way to her bed in the dark.

She stirred for a moment after I'd laid her body down on the mattress of her bed then stretched her arms and legs out in front of her with a low groan. "Mmm. Bed. Thankssss," she whispered snuggling herself against her pillow in a extremely adorable way. She seemed almost child like laying there, smiling with her legs curled up into her chest. I turned to leave her but stopped after she called out my name.

"Edward? Help me with my clothes. Please?" she requested. I took a deep breath, already feeling nervous over her request. She was drunk, and I could easily take her. I knew that. But did I want that? That was my dilemma.

I slowly made my way back to her and bent down beside the edge of her bed. She raised herself to sit up in front of me then took my hands to grab the bottom of her t-shirt so we could both lift it up and over her head together. Her black lace bra taunted me like you wouldn't believe. Daring me to reach behind her to un fasten it's hooks so I could see the naked skin of her perky breasts in all their glory.

But I behaved, and as a reward she prompted me to help her with her jeans.

_Fucking splendid. Best time ever to be a gentleman. _

I slowly folded her jeans after feeling her smooth skin against my fingers, then tossed them onto the dresser in front of our beds. "Thanks M&M. You're my knight in shining armor. Did you like my little pole dance?" Bella asked slurring every other word adorably.

"I loved it, baby."

"Mmm I think I like hearing you call me baby. But don't tell anyone I said that," she whispered with a giggle.

"It'll be our secret." I promised her, sweeping two of her dreads away from her face.

Christ did I want to kiss that face.

"I think I'd like to have lots of secrets with you, M&M. I think you'd be a good keeper of the secrets."

I laughed again at her drunken rambling and gently prompted her to try and get some sleep.

"Sleep. Pft. Who needs sl-slee…" she stuttered, unable to finish her sentence before completely passing out again. Not before she'd grabbed my hand though to pull it against her chest. I could feel her heart beating and with every thud I found myself wondering what she was dreaming about, and hoping it would some how be about me.

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 15~~~~**

**This takes place right before the camping trip.**

**~~Bella~~**

I could feel my anxiety rise from where we sat in the back of the van with every sweep of Jacobs thumb over the top of my hand. I had so much racing through my head I literally felt as though both my heart, and my skull could explode at any given second. I knew Jake was doing his best to try and soothe me but truthfully he was only making things worst with his looks and his gentle touches.

At the same time, though, I knew that he knew… this was what I needed most today.

I needed to know he still cared about me. Especially after the way we'd left things back in Oregon.

Even though I was well aware that he'd never be able to completely forgive me, in his eyes I could see that he was trying really hard to be the Jake I needed him to be. Because of that, I was desperately trying to force myself to believe that in time, things really would get back to normal between us. These were the looks however that had also chased me across the country. Eventually we would have to talk about it again…. About all of it, and that I wasn't ready for. My time here was supposed to be a break from all of that.

Besides, truthfully, Jake and I had done enough talking. We'd reached the _talking _limit, especially after his little temper tantrum at my going away party. But I knew Jake, and I knew Paul. They were out here to check up on me, and for good reason. I never expected them to just show up though, otherwise I would have specifically told them to stay away. I was still mentally preparing for their planned visit that was still a few weeks away for Christ sakes!

During the last few Skype sessions we had shared I could tell they were doing their best to use their x-ray vision to see through the hoodie I had adopted as my second skin. I hadn't been keeping up with my own promises so they were here to call me out in person.

They knew me well and sometimes I absolutely despised them for it.

I would have given anything to have been able to hold on to just half of the happiness I'd felt during the first few seconds of seeing them here in South Carolina, but this wasn't some fairytale, and I had no magic genie.

_Why couldn't those feelings have lasted just little while longer?_

It was extremely frustrating and I hated the fact that it was my own damn fault for being so goddamn weak.

When we got to the camp site I could feel Edwards eyes on me. Every where I went, every move I made, I could feel him watching.

Last night with Edward, in my bed… it was unlike anything I'd ever experienced and it had scared the hell out of me. I'd never felt so special- so important, desired, or needed. Never in my life had a man touched me the way he did. There was something else though that made it different, and it had everything to do with the look in his eyes while he moved his body over mine staring deeply into my soul.

He needed me just as much as I needed him, but I just couldn't accept that because at the same time it seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. Why a man like Edward would want to have anything to do with someone as broken and fucked up as me, I'd never be able to understand that. I'd hoped that after some wrestling in bed he would see that I really was all about the sex, and the sex was really all I had to offer. Unfortunately, I could still see the same look in his eyes this morning and that had my head spinning.

"Want to go for walk?" Jake asked catching me by surprise. I hadn't even noticed him sneak up on me but here he was, and here I was thinking about the phenomenal fuck I'd experienced the night before with a man who had made me feel everything Jake had tried so hard to make me feel in the past.

"Um, yeah. Sure. Let's go." I mumbled then lifted my hoodie up over my head before stuffing my hands into the pockets in front of my belly.

We walked silently side by side for a while then I took a seat on a large rock, criss-crossing my legs in front of me while I watched Jake skip small rocks across the water. He obviously had a lot on his mind, and I was praying he'd keep most of it to himself but knew that wasn't likely. Not with Jake.

"Alright Jake, what's on your mind?" I finally asked knowing it was better to just get it all out. Kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid.

"Nothing," he mumbled then bent down to retrieve another rock from the ground to cast across the water.

"Shut your face and tell me what's bothering you." I demanded with an annoyed huffed then stood up to give him a light shove with both of my hands. He sighed and shook his head then ran his hand through his hair nervously before turning to face me again.

"You really like him don't you?"

"Who? Edward? Pft." I asked trying to act like he was being ridiculous.

"Yes, Edward. You're different around him… and with him. Both Paul and I can see that so don't try to bullshit me," he insisted. I watched him bend back down to pick up another rock and let out a loud sigh while I tried to come up with an answer that wouldn't break his heart.

"I do like him, Jake. But you know me. That really doesn't mean anything. All it means is that I need to be more careful," I replied lowly while crossing my arms in front of me.

"Maybe… maybe it's time to stop being careful, Bella? You know I love you, that I'll always love you, but I also want you to be happy. I can see he does that for you. You shouldn't shut that out. You deserve to be loved by someone you can love in return."

His words shocked me but I could instantly feel my smile betraying my otherwise blank expression. Jake was right. He was putting everything else aside to tell me what I needed to hear because he knew I'd never take that step without hearing that he understood and accepted the fact that I may have indeed found someone worth living for again.

"Thanks Jake."

"Anytime Bells." He forced a smile then extended his arm out to me so I could link my own arm through his to continue our walk down the path beside the river.

And this was why he was my best friend.

This was why I'd always love Jake with all my heart no matter how fucked our history actually was.

* * *

**~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 17~~~~**

**Edward **

**Flashback **

I'd just come in after catching a few waves in the backyard hoping it would help me relax before heading over to the arena for my first run in this years XGames. It was a perfect day and I was feeling absolutely ready to demolish my competition this year. Especially since I'd been considering retiring after the baby was born. Life was too short to miss those moments with a little one. Once I became a dad I would have new responsibilities, and that meant taking care of my family first before anything else. I'd already placed some calls with a few skateboard companies to put my name in as a graphic designer or even a suit behind a desk pushing product. It wasn't a dream job but it would do. Besides, I'd landed enough endorsement deals over the years that I could truthfully retire, do nothing, still live a decent life, and provide everything my family of three would ever need. I wanted to have something to fall back on though. A man needed a job. My dad always said idle hands were the devils playground, and I was hell bent on staying out of trouble now that I was ready to actually settle down.

Vic and I may have had a rocky start but over the last few weeks she'd really helped me see how well we fit together. All I'd had to do was accept it as fact, and then everything seemed to easily fall into place.

My own dad still couldn't believe it, but that was to be expected. He taught me everything I knew about playing the field and going above and beyond the call of duty when it came to avoiding women who would want to brand me as theirs, and put me on lock down.

"Hey, sweetie, I'm going to run to the store real quick and pick up a new memory card for the camcorder. Do you need anything while I'm out?" Vic asked after walking out to the porch where I was drying off.

I smiled at the sight of her bright red hair in the morning sun and shook my head in response before moving closer to pull her in for a hug.

"You're all wet, you nut!" she squealed with a giggle then slapped at my bare chest playfully.

"So? I want to hug my girl, and my baby. How are you feeling?" I asked rubbing her belly gently with the palm of my hand.

She smiled and shrugged before placing her hand over mine, "Absolutely perfect. We're ready to go cheer you on today."

"Well good because I plan on making you both very fucking proud!"

"Edward! Watch your mouth!" she toyed before standing on her tip toes to gently kiss my lips.

"Sorry, I'm working on it. Old habits die hard, Vic-ten. Hurry back. I need some pre-game release before we head across town."

"In that case I'll be back before you know it!"

I let her wiggle free from my grasp and watched her walk away flipping her long red hair back behind her shoulders before turning one last time to blow me a kiss. She was unbelievably gorgeous and I was one lucky son of a bitch. At first it was a little hard to accept. Me subsequently falling for my childhood best friend, after knocking her up, but everything happened for a reason, and I would live up to that reason.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I'd finally chosen the right path.

I walked past Vic's lap top and heard a ping come from the partially closed computer. Without hesitation I lifted the screen up and saw a chat box blinking at the bottom.

_Chelsea: Hey Vic how's your life of lies going? _

It was Victoria's kid sister. What the hell was she talking about?

Without thinking it over I decided to reply, and play dumb.

_Victoria: Huh?_

_Chelsea: Jesus. That abortion must have messed with your brain, and not just your uterus. Did you get Edward to propose yet? When does, Plan Fake A Miscarriage, commence? _

My eyes could barely process the words that they had just read. My entire body fell into the seat beside me as I tried to make sense of what she was saying.

_Victoria: What abortion? What the hell are you talking about Chelsea?! _My fingers furiously typed. A few seconds after I pressed enter the chat box went blank signaling she had signed off.

My head was spinning over what I'd just read. I picked up my cell phone to dial Vic's number without giving myself any time to think things over, or decide how I should react without coming across as a total asshole. If Chelsea was telling the truth, if Victoria had factually ended the life of our unborn child without telling me…. If she was keeping that from me….and still pretending…. No. This was impossible. She knew how excited I was. She wouldn't take that away from me. She couldn't have been acting this entire time. It wasn't possible!

"Hey, change you mind?" her voice answered on the other line after the third ring.

"I'm going to ask you something, and you sure as hell better be honest with me. Did you have a fucking abortion?" I asked sternly, without even taking a breath.

"Wha-whatt? Edward. Wha-what would make you a-ask that?" she stuttered.

"Just answer me Victoria. Are you still pregnant with my baby?"

There was silence and I immediately began searching my surroundings for something to throw my fist at. I felt as if I'd just been suck punched in the stomach after the air in the room seemed to suddenly disappear.

"Victoria! Answer me!"

"I'll be home in a few minutes. Please, just wait for me to get back," she pleaded with tears in her voice.

I shook my head and punched the wall as hard as I could instantly seeing red as my fist broke through the drywall. "How could you do this?! Who the fuck do you think you are? What kind of a twisted bitch does this? Pretending to be pregnant? Asking me which nursery themes I like best, and which stroller we should register for just last fucking night?! Are you kidding me? Who the fuck are you?"

"Edward…. I…. I…. please. I can explain." She was really sobbing now but it didn't change anything. She was lucky she wasn't here in front of me.

"Do NOT come back here. I don't want to see your face. You're twisted. Sick, cold hearted bitch. I can't believe you did this. We were…. I was…. Fuck! Victoria! I was going to fucking marry you!"

"I wasn't ready for it! I was scared. I didn't want to be a mom, but I wanted you. So badly. Before I knew it…. It was all happening too fast. I did what I thought was best. You don't really want to retire. I don't want you to. We weren't ready for a baby, but that didn't mean you had to stop loving me. I knew you would see what we could be, if there was something that could bond us together. We are suppose to be together. Even if there's no more baby that shouldn't change the way you feel about me."

"No. We were going to be a _family_ together, and I found a way to love you because of that. You tricked me. I trusted you. You were my best friend and I trusted you. You snaked your way into a life you wanted with me, and charmed me to believe what you wanted me to believe."

"Edward, please! I love you! I did it for us!"

"Oh shut up. You only did it for yourself. Pack what you can and get the fuck out. Were done. You took the one thing that finally made sense in my life and you… I can't even say it. Vic… you have no idea."

"Edward,"

"We're through. I hope it was worth it. I hope you can find a way to live with yourself because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to. Goodbye, Victoria."

I hung up before she could reply. I had nothing left to say to her. She had successfully shattered my entire future in a matter of seconds. Something I had worked so hard to build over the last few months when in reality she knew none of the things I had been doing to prepare would ever even matter.

Literally five minutes ago my life was perfect. And now… Now it felt absolutely fucked. I'd finally let someone in and this is what happened. I had to laugh for a second because it made total sense. My dad had warned me to never let a female spread its legs and wrap herself around my heart. It was my own damn fault for letting my guard down, and now I was paying the price for it.

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 18~~~~**

**From the day Edward surprised Bella with a getaway to the fancy hotel in town without the cameras. **

**~Edward~**

Bella was laying across the bed on her stomach kicking her legs back and forth in the air behind her while she propped her chin over her hands resting against the mattress. I'd stolen her guitar after she'd gotten up to use the restroom and started playing one of the few songs I actually knew. When she came out she didn't insist I give Jane back to her. Instead she laid down and watched me with a grin that I wanted to kiss off her face every time I redirected my eyes to look over at her.

"Very nice, where'd you learn that one?" she asked after I'd removed my fingers from the guitar strings and sat back in the chair across from the bed.

"YouTube, one lonely Friday night a few years ago."

She smiled and shook her head, "I doubt you've had many lonely nights, Edward." Her comment made me laugh because she couldn't have been more wrong.

"You'd be surprised. A person can still feel alone even when they're in a crowded room, Bella." She responded to my line by sitting up and giving me a polite golf clap with her cupped hands in front of her chest. "Don't act like you don't know what I mean."

"Oh, I know what you mean. It just sounds ridiculously emo when spoken out loud. Some things are better left said in song lyrics" she teased in return then stood up to walk towards me grinning. I laughed lightly and nodded my head agreeing with her then gently set the guitar down off to the side so I could free up my arms to pull her down into my lap. "Let's play a game."

"A game?"

"It's a short version of twenty questions." She added still smiling.

I was intrigued. She'd had a few shots of tequila but she still had a long way to go before she'd be her open book Drunk-ella self.

"How short?"

"I like to call it Three Questions-Plus a Bonus Round," she replied turning around to lace her fingers behind my neck and look me in the eyes.

"Cleaver name."

"I'm working on a copyright."

I laughed and shook my head feeling myself fall that much more for the girl in my lap who still refused to fully let her guard down around me. "I see a board game in your future."

"Or at least an App." she teased back then leaned down to kiss my nose playfully. "I'll go first. Number one, If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?"

"That depends."

"On what?" she asked with a smirk.

"On where _you_ were living," I replied with a grin before she gave me a playful smack to my arm.

"No, seriously. No cheese, just answer."

"Ok, fine. A secluded island somewhere in the South Pacific. No phones. No internet. No TV."

"Nice. I like that, especially the no phones and TV part. I think I'll throw out every TV I own when I get home. Number two, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

I looked at her and smiled then leaned my forehead against hers to playfully look her directly in the eyes, "Sixteenth birthday. It was my gift. Becca Ann Thigil wearing nothing but a red bow and the braces on her teeth."

She leaned back from me and laughed obviously enjoying the mental picture, "Nice! Okay Number three, favorite childhood memory?"

I thought about this one for a few seconds. It was tough to choose only one because my dad had gone above and beyond the call of duty to give me an amazing upbringing. At the same time I didn't want to make her feel bad because I knew she'd had the exact opposite experience during her own childhood. "First time my dad let me stand on his skateboard. I was seven, and it was his most prized possession. I vowed that day that I would grow up to be a pro skater and he told me if I did he would give me his board to do more than just stand on. I now have that same skateboard hanging up in my office at my house in California. It reminds me that no dream is too big to strive for. If you really want something, you have to keep at it. No matter what it takes."

She smiled and took in a deep breath letting my story sink in. "That's sweet. Hopefully I can see that skateboard someday."

"Of course you will, Bella."

"Okay, bonus questions come after you ask me my three questions," she shared trying to hide her face after having heard my response to her last statement. It was still hard for her to picture us being a part of each others future. I was absolutely determined though to show her there was nothing to be afraid of.

"Number one, If you could live anywhere in the world where would I find you?"

She laughed softly and shrugged, "I've heard there are some nice secluded islands in the South Pacific."

_Major points, Cullen. _

"I'll accept that answer," I teased then slowly leaned in to kiss her lips, letting her know her reply had excited the hell out of me. "Number two, if you could change one thing about yourself what would you change?"

"Hm…. that's tough…. There are so _many_ things," she joked crossing her arms in front of her. "Ok, I wish I was better at coping… and ignoring the annoying voice in the back of my head."

"Goddamn conscious's suck don't they?"

She nodded her head and leaned back into me, quickly taking my arms to wrap them around her body. I could tell the voice in her head was currently working over time. "Number three, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Where ever I want to be. That's the beauty in having more money than you know what to do with, Edward."

That wasn't the answer I was looking for, but I knew better than to press.

"Okay bonus question, Edward Cullen, what did you expect to get out of stealing me away like this tonight?"

I didn't even need to think this one over, "That's easy. I wanted to give you the break you needed. I wanted to be the one who came to your rescue even though you're hell bent on refusing to admit you needed rescuing."

She sat up and stared at me with her eyes narrowed for a moment but then they cautiously softened and her body relaxed allowing it to mold against mine once again. "Fair enough. You're up."

I'd saved the most important question for last, "What is your biggest fear, Bella Swan?"

Even though I was fairly certain I already new the answer, I needed to hear it from her.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked frowning.

"Say it. Out loud."

She let out a huff and turned to look me in the eyes again. For a brief second I swear I saw tears start to swell up and I instantly felt guilty for apparently having pushed her a little too hard.

"Falling in love. With you." she whispered then instantly turned to pick up Jane so that she could escape the reality of just how badly that one four letter word could tear her world a part.

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 19~~~~**

**Skype session with her boys after running into Riley at Volturi's.**

**~Bella~**

As soon as I signed into my Skype account the computer pinged letting me know there was a request coming in for a video chat. I took a deep breath and hit the accept button then fell back into the chair with a forced smile while I tried desperately to focus my gaze on the computer screen in front of me.

_You seriously should have stopped drinking about three hours ago, Swan. _

"Jesus Christ woman! You're damn lucky we're not all on a plane already." Paul scolded with the rest of the guys all sitting around him.

"Sorry." I mumbled then tugged at my hair that I'd nervously gathered in front of my left shoulder. I looked at their faces and immediately felt guilty. Earlier today I hadn't cared that I was ignoring their attempts to reach out to me, but now I felt like absolute shit over it. It wasn't right that I'd let them worry when I could have easily picked up a phone to tell them I was okay. One ten second phone call would have been enough for them. They would have known better than to press for anything more if I hadn't offered it up on my own. "I needed some time… to process it all." I added still avoiding their eyes.

"Just tell us you're okay." Sam spoke up taking charge of the conversation.

I nodded me head and hugged my body with my arms crossed in front of me, "I'm fine. I must be the talk of the town now, huh?"

"Well yeah, but honestly, that's really nothing new." Embry teased obviously trying to help me relax. He was always good at that. "There were some reporters over at The Diner this morning trying to get people to talk to them about you. No one said a word though. You would have been proud."

I smiled and nodded my head appreciating what he had just told me. "I should have told you guys. It was stupid for me to keep it all a secret when it's been tearing me a part for so long." I could feel my emotions starting to get the better of me. My eyes instantly closed before the traitor tears could escape. Slowly, I took in a deep breath then exhaled through my parted lips.

"Bells you know you don't have to tell us anything, but we'll always be here when and if you should decide you need us. We would never judge you." Sam replied. "Just relax okay. Don't let them and their bullshit bring you down. You're better than that."

"Some of it is true." The words rushed out and it took everything in me to slowly look up to see their solemn shocked expressions. "Not all of it. Just some of it." They all stayed silent waiting for me to continue. They knew better than to press for more information without me first offering it. After a few agonizing seconds of silence I quickly filled them in on mine and Riley's fucked up relationship, not sparing any of the ugly details. When I was finished they all remained quiet which instantly made me unbelievably nervous. I panicked. "Someone say something." I pleaded then leaned forward against my knees.

"We will kill him." Paul growled with obvious furry in his eyes.

"Bella, why didn't you tell us. All this time I just figured it was one of us, that you'd gotten caught again like the first time and your grandfather went ballistic," Jake added shaking his head. Embry and Paul quickly agreed with him.

I couldn't help but smile. "Nope. I was just a stupid, careless girl, and I paid the price for it."

Paul was standing now pacing back and forth behind the rest of them with his fists clenched at his sides, "We're seriously going to hunt him down and castrate the son of a bitch."

"It's okay. I was able to give his balls a swift kick tonight with a classic Bella Swan verbal beating. He came looking for me, and I think I would have made you guys proud. It felt amazing to finally get to say everything I'd ever dreamed of saying to him, without backing down." I told them smiling proudly, "Although those were more like nightmares, not so much dreams," I added with a slight frown, then bit at my bottom lip nervously. "Edward also got in a good punch. I'm sure the asshole will be forced to wear women's makeup for the next few days, just like the pussy he is." I additionally shared smiling again then stole a glance out towards the living room where I saw Edward laying across the couch staring at the ceiling with his arms behind his head.

"Way to go Edward! We will have to buy him a drink when we come out there next weekend. And good for you Bells. I'm glad you got the chance to defend yourself. It's too bad a media camera wasn't around to catch it, but I'm sure those producers of your show will take full advantage." Sam spoke up smiling.

The words 'next weekend' instantly stuck out.

"Um. What do you mean _next_ weekend?"

"We're moving our visit up." Jake replied in a matter of fact tone.

"No. You don't have to do that. Really, I'm okay. I promise. I'm good. Seriously." I insisted feeling slightly panicked over the idea of them coming so soon when I planned on having a very life changing talk with Edward in the near future. I knew I'd need time to get use to all the changes that were coming my way. I couldn't have them showing up here before I was ready.

"Bella," Sam started but I quickly interrupted him.

"Just… Give me two weeks. Please?"

"Why?" Jake asked with his brow raised. He could always tell when I was plotting something. "What's going to be so different in two weeks?"

I looked back at them and shrugged with a slight smile, "Someone told me tonight that I'd grown up a lot. That I'm not the same girl I was when I first came out here. I need to see if that person is right. So I need two weeks. That's all I can tell you right now."

All of them, but Jake, laughed and instantly started giving me shit over my cryptic reasoning. I rolled my eyes and waved my hands at them refusing to say anything else about the matter.

"A lot has changed… but It's a good change…. I think. I hope. I honestly don't know yet."

They laughed again and shook their heads seemingly speechless. After a few painful seconds of silence Sam finally spoke up, "Ok, we will give you two weeks IF you promise to give Dr. Banner a call tomorrow. Just to talk, and maybe arrange some weekly Skype chats."

I rolled my eyes and let out a frustrated huff after thinking his demand over. "Fine. I'll call him tomorrow. Happy?"

"Only if you're happy, Bells." he replied then offered me his familiar soft smile that turned my insides to mush.

I smiled back and gently nodded my head, "I think I might be. I really think I might be."

* * *

**~~~~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 20~~~~~~~**

**~Edward~**

As soon as I got downstairs I found the rest of my housemates grinning from ear to ear.

"Sorry man, they insisted on going up," Emmett innocently swore while Alice and James giggled from behind him.

"Fuck you, _man." _I threw a quick punch to his shoulder then made my way to the fridge to pull five beers out and cradled them in my arms, "Did you guys do introductions already?"

"Yup. They seem super nice. Tanya is already twitching trying to keep herself away from Garrett. Apparently she was dead serious about trying to stay focused on only Demetri for a while!" Alice shared with another light giggle.

"Ha! Lucky for Garrett," I teased unable to help myself.

"Sure as shit! I love the girl but I sure as hell wouldn't want to get caught between her legs." Emmett announced, earning him a swift smack upside his head from Rose.

"Be nice," she loudly warned, with a cautious glare.

"What?! Jesus! I figured you would be thrilled to hear me say that. I can't win with you woman!"

The rest of us laughed listening to their exchange just before I excused myself to make my way out to the back porch where my friends were standing around in a closed circle.

They were obviously gossiping like a bunch of vaginas.

"Finally! Guess you had to finish things up, huh? I mean the girl definitely deserved some reciprocated release." Garrett instantly teased then pulled me in for a hug, slapping my back with his opened hand three times after I'd set the beers down on the table beside us.

"Shut the hell up. Seriously. I ought'a kick the shit out of all of you! Well except you Vic. Thanks for respecting some boundaries."

"Oh she didn't respect shit. She just ran her ass out as soon as she heard you yelping Bella's name as if she'd been sent from the heavens to specifically bob on your knob." Garrett corrected then leaped to the left in order to avoid our female friends swift punch to his groin.

"Fuck off Garrett," she warned then looked up to lock eyes with me. She was quick to offer me a bashful smile. "Hi, Edward. It's good to see you." she whispered then slowly stuffed her hands into the back pockets of her tiny jean skirt.

I smiled and nodded my head, "You too, Vic. Sorry… for that, up there."

She shrugged and rolled her eyes, "I couldn't have cared less. I just knew you would be mortified so I had the decency to 'run my ass' out of there."

I laughed and extended my arms out to give her a hug. She was instantly pressed against me, holding me tightly and thanking me for inviting her to come out with the guys. I could hear her take in a deep breath from just below my chin where she'd easily rested her head against my chest.

Her obvious desperation to have her arms around me was enough to make me question if this had indeed been a good idea.

_Please don't let Bella come out right this second._

_She would without a doubt sever her limbs first, and ask questions later._

I forced another smile, and gently loosened my grip around her then leaned back signaling it was time for her to also release her own grasp from around me. She looked up bashfully and brought her arms back down to her sides then reached for one of the beers I had set on the table.

"So, dude! It seems you weren't lying about that piece of ass you've landed yourself. She must be fucking amazing in bed!" Garrett boomed, slapping me on my shoulder again just after I'd taken a sip from my beer bottle. I jerked forward and narrowed my eyes then shook my head trying my best to stay calm and just take the ribbing that I'd known would come with their arrival.

"Yeah man. That was some… _show and tell_." Laurent added with a smirk then tapped my bottle with his.

I rolled my eyes and shifted my weight nervously in front of them. "She's more than a piece of ass. Ass."

"Aw! Look at that! Our boy is smitten!" Garrett mocked, instantly laughing with Ben and Laurent. Vic was noticeably silent. "Ding-dong, could The King of Casual Fucking actually be dead?!"

"Shut up." I warned, already regretting the words that were about to leave my mouth, "She's, we're like… she's not just a piece of ass. She's more. She's my girlfriend now. Okay? So can you please take it down a notch? I'd rather she not think my friends are total assholes."

"Holy shit!" Garrett shouted just as Ben released a loud, "No way in hell!"

"It's true. It happened last week. Make fun of me all you want. I did the unthinkable. I met an amazing girl and she's helped me find purpose again. I'm a pussy little shit, and I've never been happier. Now would you please be nice when she comes down. She's already feeling mortified over your first introductions."

"Hell hath frozen over." Laurent teased then smacked his opened palms down on my shoulders to lock me in a stare, "Good for you, bro."

"Thanks. It wasn't easy. Getting here. To this point. But were good. I mean, when we block everything else out, we're good." I admitted with a smirk after I'd noticed my girl standing in the kitchen sipping on a glass of water. I saw her eyes lock with mine then glance away for a moment, obviously embarrassed that I'd been watching her. I motioned for her to come join us outside then cleared my throat. "Seriously though. Behave." I warned them one last time.

"Dude! We always behave. When haven't we behaved? Ben, do I ever not behave?" Garrett sarcastically joked throwing me one more jab to my arm.

"I think what he's trying to say is, don't hit on his girl, Garrett." Ben replied, totally understanding what I was getting at. I nodded my head and flashed them a thumbs up.

"Exactly what I'm saying. No games this time. This is legit." I warned just as Bella crossed through the doorway with a her eyes set on me, and only me.

"Goddamn, the girl is bang'in bro!" Laurent whispered with an impulsive moan after seeing Bella walk out in her black Victoria's Secret barely there shorts, and tight camo-tee that hugged her upper body in all the right spots. I smirked and nodded my head in agreement just before catching Vic's sneer as she scanned my girl up and down with blatant disapproval on her face. I tried my best to shut her out but it was too late. I'd be walking on egg shells for the rest of the weekend now. I already knew Bella was wary of my past with Vic. It was now up to me to keep things cool and calm between the two of them. The last thing I wanted to do was give the suits in the control room any more epic footage.

* * *

_**~~~~~~~OUTTAKE CHAPTER 21~~~~~**_

**Lots of inner dialogue from Bella while dealing with Vic, the rest of Edwards friends visit, and her own friends.**

**~Bella~**

I was sitting with Demetri at the bar while Aro poured me one last shot before I'd take the stage. My eyes couldn't help but casually steal glances towards Edward. I was well aware that he was now standing just few a seats away from us. I'd pretty much had my eyes on him the entire night while he'd kept himself busy being social with his friends, and making an obvious effort with mine.

Apparently I'd also become a pro at the, 'I-spy-with-my-little-eye-a-red-haired-tramp' game this evening. Much to my pis$ed off state, Edward almost always seemed to be within reaching distance of said tramp. If Vic wasn't trying to cozy up with Jake, she was hanging onto my boyfriend, giggling over his every word as if he held the key to unlocking the meaning of life.

I was in a mood.

It was now an absolute fact.

I wanted to hurt her in ways no civilized woman should ever dream of hurting another human being.

It wasn't helping that both Aro and Demetri had picked up on my unease and had decided to tease me about it.

"So that's Eddie's ex? She's pretty hot," Aro toyed after sliding the shot glass towards me. "I mean she's got nothing on you, but she's definitely bang worthy. You can just tell she's one of those girls who really lets her freak flag wave once you get her behind a locked door."

"Shut up, Aro. I don't need this right now." I warned through clenched teeth, then narrowed my eyes at him while I anxiously pushed the small glass back and forth between my opened palms. "She's a damn two faced manipulator who's asking to have her a$s beat before the weekend is over."

"Whoaaaa! Calm down tiger. No claws in my bar. Although, it has been a while since I've seen a decent girl fight." Aro replied with a smirk, ignoring my previous warning.

Demetri bumped me with his shoulder and quietly suggested I take a deep breath and count to ten, "Seriously, she's nothing to get worked up about, Bells. What's the worst that could happen? Who knows. Maybe the three of you could have a little fun together. I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind. Oh wait, I forgot. You don't do that kind of fun."

I instantly punched him in the arm with my fist as hard as I could then shook my hand at my side feeling the pain brought on by the amount of force I'd impulsively thrown his way. "Jesus woman. I was just kidding. This girl has really gotten to you hasn't she?" he asked rubbing his arm where I'd landed my blow.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to go get ready to get on stage. Thanks for helping me relax. You're both awesome. Really." I replied sarcastically then hopped down from my bar stool to head over to Jake where I'd spotted him sitting alone at the edge of the stage tuning his guitar.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." he answered smiling up into my eyes with that warm contagious grin I'd grown up loving. "Feeling nice and floaty?" he further asked, referring to my level of tipsiness.

I forced a smile and nodded my head, "Feeling a bit better than I was earlier."

He frowned for a moment and studied my face then softly asked what was wrong. I insisted it was nothing but he didn't buy my lie. "Want to go some place to talk? We've got a few minutes," he offered. I glanced down into his eyes then towards the back door considering his offer.

My mouth instantly dropped open.

I felt a paralyzing stab in my side at the sight of Edward pushing Vic out the door with his hand pressed at her back.

He was touching her.

Leading her outside.

Alone.

_Are you f*cking kidding me?! That's how he wants me to learn to trust? By shoving me from the top of the highest jumping point? _This night just keeps getting better. I thought to myself with my fists clenched at my sides.

"Bella. You okay?" Jake's voice asked breaking my stare from the back door that had swung back to close itself, hiding Edward and Vic behind it… doing God knows what.

"I'm fine. What are we opening with?" I asked desperate to change the subject.

"Sam said we should start slow. He suggested, Holding On."

I looked him dead in the eyes and shook my head.

"He picked it. Not me." My friend insisted, then instantly threw his arms up defensively. "I told him you'd be mad. He said it would be therapeutic."

"Did he. I must have missed his graduation from the apparent online psychiatry school he attended during my absence."

Jake laughed at my joke, shrugged innocently, then took an obvious deep breath before asking his next question, "So, have you talked to your grandfather?"

I knew one of them would eventually ask.

"No. And I don't plan to either. No matter what song Sam makes me sing on stage. I have nothing to say to that sorry excuse of a human being." I snickered then anxiously eyed the back door again.

"Hey don't blame Sam for your verbal diarrhea that night when we played, Truth Or Song."

Truth or Song was a game we used to play. Instead of a dare we would have to play a song that somewhat answered the 'truth' question we were asked. Or it could be a song that reminded us of the person or situation the question was about. My question, the night Jake was so kindly forcing me to recall, had been about my grandfather. I'd chosen the song Sam now wanted me to sing on stage, rather than choosing to answer the actual question.

Your night just keeps getting better, Swan.

"Fine. I'll sing the stupid song. It won't change anything. He's still dead to me, just as I am to him."

Jake smirked and nodded his head then reached out to squeeze my knee with his hand, "We both know that's not true, but okay. Besides, you f*cking own that song when you sing it on stage. It's a good opening for the set."

I gave him a sarcastic smile paired with a thumbs up then leaned in to give him a firm hug and stood back up just as Paul came over to ask me if I knew anyone who might have a tuner.

"Yeah, one sec." I replied then quickly turned around to ran back over to Aro and Demetri who had already been watching me from a distance.

So predictable.

* * *

**~~~~OUTTAKE Chapter 22~~~~**

**Edward POV of the build up and actual moment when he learns about Bella's evening with Dem and Aro that was caught on tape. **

**~EDWARD~**

Bella had instantly run upstairs just as soon as we'd all gotten back to the house. After giving her a few minutes of alone time, since I knew that's what she was in need of, I started to head up to see if she was okay. I stopped short seeing Paul already climbing the stairs with her signature drink in his hand. It only annoyed me… a lot. I refused, though, to be the jealous boyfriend type who jumped every time another guy showed his girl some one on one attention.

She'd been giving me some space all day while I'd been spending time with my friends, so I was determined to do the same for her. I figured it was just her way of pushing what she wanted for herself onto me so I would return the favor and take a few steps back.

Do unto others, and all that golden rule bullshit.

Garrett, Ben, Laurent, and I were all sitting out on the porch with beers in our hands sharing stories about past cross country road trips when Vic came out to join us. She was hugging her body against Jake's arm but looking directly at me and only me. I rolled my eyes in response and offered them both a beer from the cooler.

Because of her little stunt in the parking lot I really wasn't in the mood to entertain her delusional fantasies so I was actually pretty thankful when she'd decided to redirect her advances to someone more appropriate for the rest of the evening. Even if I was well aware she was only doing it to annoy the shit out of Bella. I figured it was much better for Jake to receive Vic's attention than myself.

I could almost feel Bella's presence when she'd finally come down the stairs and entered the kitchen where her buddies were all standing around the bar waiting for her return. When I looked into the house she was at the liquor pantry standing on her toes bringing not one, but four bottles down from the middle shelf while they all stood around watching her. Every once in a while one of them would throw someone else a nervous look, and that too only annoyed me… a lot.

They could sense something was wrong. It was obvious. For whatever reason, though, she was keeping it to herself. If I'd learned anything it was to not push when Bella wasn't ready to be pushed so I was instead waiting, and letting her handle her demons the only way she knew how.

With liquor and her boys.

I knew once it was time to say goodnight she would be sleeping in my arms and truthfully, that was all that mattered to me this weekend. Everything else was just outside bullshit we needed to put up with for a little while longer. Two more days and we would be back in our bubble, and all would be right in the world.

As soon as Vic attached herself to my arm I snapped back to reality and laughed sarcastically with her, even though I had no idea what the fuck she was laughing about.

"Oh come on, you remember that time when we were at that scary truck stop outside of Memphis and that lady truck driver tried to talk you into sharing a communal shower with her." Vic spoke up repeating the story I had apparently missed.

I laughed and shook my head, "Yeah, that was probably the scariest night of my entire life." I replied then looked back into the kitchen to see Jake joining Bella and her group of friends, just as she'd snapped her own attention away from me and mine.

Super, perfect timing for her to look your way, Cullen. Right when your ex decides to publicly latch herself onto you as if you were her goddamn anchor.

I took a slow step to the side, to establish some space between Vic and I, then grabbed another beer from the cooler. Without looking up at my friends, I popped it open with the lighter Bella had left outside thanks to her recent binge smoking ever since they'd all arrived, and gulped the beer down as quickly as I could. At this point of the evening, I was feeling desperate to numb all of my inner thoughts.

"So, I heard some guys talking at the bar tonight. Apparently there's whispers Bella might get some kind of a recording deal after all this. You ready to be the boyfriend of some famous recording artist?" Garrett teased elbowing me in my side.

"I'm ready for whatever life might throw at us." I instantly replied, while my eyes stole another glance towards Bella and her friends. They'd sat themselves down around the dinning room table with some cups and bottles of booze centered before them. It was obvious they were playing some kind of a drinking game. My only worries were whether or not Bella would be a seasoned pro, if she'd end up passed out in her chair before it was over, or if she'd wind up topless singing from the stripper pole out here on the patio.

"I don't know Cullen, the life of a touring musician can be pretty," Garrett paused to think of the appropriate word, but Vic quickly finished his sentence for him.

"Pretty damn flighty, and promiscuous."

I laughed sarcastically and took the last sip from my beer. "Whatever. I'm ready. She deserves it all, and I'll be there to support her the entire way. No matter what happens."

"How wonderfully, sickeningly, romantic." Vic snickered then leaned herself into my shoulder. I instantly took a step backwards forcing her to catch her balance on her own two feet then suggested we all head inside.

"Getting nervous bro, or just twitchy. You two have been away from each other a lot tonight. You're starting to get that glazed junkie stare look in your eyes." Garrett teased.

"Oh leave him alone. Jesus." Ben spoke up, then offered me an apologetic shrug, "Why do you have to be such an ass-hole all of the time?"

I laughed and punched my friend in the shoulder, "Ben, I would be seriously worried if he wasn't being his usual asshole-self.." I replied then slowly started to make my way back into the house.

Thankfully they all followed.

I quickly noticed Sam passed out on the couch, and Embry wasn't looking too hot himself. As soon as mine and Bella's eyes met I felt an overpowering need to touch her. She smirked up at me and anxiously bit at her lower lip as I leaned down to kiss her neck.

"What are you guys playing?" Garrett asked after pulling up a seat at the table.

I listened while Paul explained the game. They all teased Bella about her past indiscretions back home when they used to play the game regularly, but she held her head high and ignored their ribbing the same way she always did. I could tell she was feeling much more relaxed now so that helped calm my own nervousness.

That was 'till someone brought up the story about Bella singing topless on a water tower back home.

Just as you feared, Cullen. It's going to be a long night of Bella-sitting.

I impulsively smacked Garrett upside his head after he made a remark about liking the game that apparently had the potential to cause Bella to doff her clothing, and gave him a warning glare.

"I'm okay. Really. I can drink them under the," Bella had started to say before her eyes focused on Vic positioning herself in Jake's lap. "I can drink them under the table." she finally finished after a few silent seconds. She tilted her shot glass back at her lips and pushed the die over to Jake. "Your turn, Black." she muttered breaking him from the stare he and my best friend had been locked in while Vic had been running her hands firmly through his hair, forcing him to look deeply into her eyes.

Fucking typical.

I quickly took charge of the situation and pulled a chair up behind Bella's so I could rest my hands on her body to help her forget the awkwardness my female best friend was forcing onto all of us with her obvious attention seeking behavior. It was so apparent now that I was wrong to have invited her out here with the rest of my buddies, but it was also impossible to turn back time.

When Bella stood up before me and motioned for me to come take a seat under her I instantly followed her command and brought her into my lap. It felt so good to have her back in my arms again. To be holding her against me. Touching her warm skin with my finger tips.

A few innocent touches and I was right back to craving all of her, and I no longer cared who was watching.

She slowly brought my opened palms to her inner thighs and began sliding my hands up and down her bare skin with her own hands over mine. She moved us with such sensual purpose, I thought I was going to lose it right then and there.

We wouldn't last much longer down here. Forcing everyone to observe our addiction for one another, it just wouldn't be kind.

She turned her head to look back into my eyes then brought her lips down to meet my own parted mouth. We collided with such fevering need that my left hand instantly began traveling further up between her legs desperate to feel more of her, while my right hand cupped her face to hold her and our intoxicating kiss in place.

Bella new exactly what to do in order to drive me absolutely insane. I was well aware of the fact that I was in over my head. My extreme obsession to have her underneath me absent of her clothing was quickly taking over my already cloudy judgment.

"Jesus Christ, we're trying to play a game here, can you two save your mouth f*cking for later?" Embry mocked breaking us from our moment.

She smiled down at me and draped her arms around my neck to kiss my lips softly one last time then playfully poked my nose with her pointer finger.

I couldn't help myself, I had to let her know how badly I both wanted, and needed to get her upstairs.

After whispering my X-rated thoughts beside her ear she giggled lightly then subsequently received some more teasing from her friends over her reaction after letting a giggle escape past her lips.

I was too busy staring at her gorgeous face to pay them much attention.

The next few minutes blurred together. I literally couldn't keep my hands off of her. It was as if they had a mind of their own, or maybe it was just my current intoxicated state? Whatever the case, I'd had a lot to drink, and it was finally catching up with me, but when Garrett offered me a shot of rum I didn't push it away. Especially not after having watched Bella and Vic share a little moment of mean girl banter.

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker, M&M." she teased with a wink of her eye.

"Pshhhh. You worry about you, Rock Star."

"But, I have you for that now," she reminded me then leaned back to kiss my nose. I watched obsessively as her hand slowly reached behind her to travel down my chest towards my firmed cock. She turned once again to look me dead in the eyes and bit at her bottom lip knowing it would push me that much closer to the edge. When I saw her mouth the words, 'I-need-to-have-you-now' I didn't waste another second.

I instantly stood up with her in my arms and announced she was forfeiting their game. I also casually suggested they all head out if they didn't want to experience the sounds of what phenomenal fucking sounded like when they weren't invited.

I tossed Bella over my shoulder, slapped her flawless ass, and began carrying her towards the stairs.

We were half way up the stairs when Tanya came barging through the door with Demetri following close behind her. I couldn't help but smirk at his stressed out appearance. That is until Tanya started laughing like a maniac on crack while she pointed towards Bella.

"Bella, I'm _so _sorry. She fucking went through my phone and.." Demetri forced out while holding Tanya back at the bottom of the stairs.

"_You_, Bella Swan! You weren't lying when you said you were a _whore_!" she shouted.

Once her accusation processed in my head I instantly released Bella and took a step back.

What the fuck is this bitch talking about?

"Poor innocent, _whoa-is-me_, Bella. Why don't you tell Edward all about your day with Aro _and_ MY Demetri! Or better yet, why don't I just show him the video!?"

My head was spinning. Her Demetri? Since when did they become a legit item? Did I pass out? Is this a damn dream? This had to be some kind of a prank. Right?

Bella was absolutely still and as white as a ghost, "What…. What the hell is she talking about Demetri?" she quietly asked after looking back at me then down towards the arrogant son of a bitch who had apparently done something worth Tanya's little temper tantrum. The only thing I could think was that something had happened the other day when Bella had taken off with Aro to go hang out at Demetri's so they could edit some of her photographs. That was the last, and only time the three of them had been together in a very long time. At least without me or Tanya also being around.

"What's she talking about, Bella? What day?" I finally asked after stepping down beside her.

My attention was set solely on her and no one else.

"Here! See for yourself. Take a look at just how fucked up your so called girlfriend, the love of your life, really is. She cared about you OH so much that she went out and fucked around with not just Aro, but with my boyfriend too! At the same damn time!" Tanya yelled with a pointed finger, then instantly tossed me the phone she had been holding in her hand. I caught it and looked down at the screen.

What looked back at me nearly brought me to my knees. I shook my head unable to believe what I was seeing then took in a deep breath to try and calm myself before I opened my mouth. I could feel the anger rising around me. I could feel the blood pulsing through every limb of my body as I looked down at the paused image of Aro with his face between Bella's naked breasts.

What killed me the most, though, was seeing her smiling over his position while her hands held onto his hair.

I heard Bella whisper something from beside me but it was a mere echo in my head while a thousand and one thoughts swarmed my mind.

This wasn't happening.

I refused to believe this was real life.

Bella wouldn't.

Not to me.

Not to us.

Not after everything we'd been through.

Not after everything she'd said to me.

She could have just as easily torn my heart from my chest by ending our relationship without giving me any reason at all, but to cheat? To go behind my back and fuck around with not just one, but apparently two arrogant assholes!?

I hadn't even seen the worst of it yet. I knew that.

Even though she was begging me not to press play, I'd already made up my mind. I had no other choice. I had to see just how far it went. I had to know just how much she'd factually betrayed me, all while carrying on as if it never happened.

* * *

**~~~~~CH 23 OUTTAKE~~~~~**

**Bella's POV of her run in with Edward after she returned to the house the day after the big cellphone video scandal. **

**~BELLA~**

My meeting with the suits had gone surprisingly well.

Perhaps it had something to do with my blood-shot eyes? Or maybe it was my trembling hands and stuttered speech? Regardless, it was obvious all they really cared about was whether or not I'd be returning to complete the show. You could see the stress immediately lift from their faces when I explained all I wanted was a few days away, rather than a permanent exit from the house.

After stepping outside of the confessional room, I felt my heart plummet into my stomach over the sight of Edward sitting on the stairs just a few feet away. He was obviously waiting for me, and that had taken me by surprise. I hadn't expected to see him here at the house. Truthfully, I'd figured he would have left last night seeking solace from the camera's so he could go fuck Vic from behind, in hopes of temporarily removing me and my betrayal from his memory.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be here." I finally cleared past my lips after grabbing a handful of my dreads with my hand. I leaned backwards against the wall behind me and took in a deep breath. I needed the assistance of a stable surface in order to assure I'd stay standing on my feet. At the moment all I wanted to do was crumble towards the floor and beg for his forgiveness.

I had to seem stronger than that though.

That's what the voice in the back of my head had insisted anyways.

Edward and I shared some ridiculous small talk, which seemed forced but also needed. He appeared to be doing okay. Handling it all much better than I was. It hurt me to realize that, but at the same time it took some of my own anxiety away.

At least he seemed to be moving forward without too much holding him back.

That was a good thing.

Right?

Maybe by me fucking up so bad… maybe it was what he needed to really realize I just wasn't worth it, and that he was absolutely better off without me. Maybe now he understood why it was all a mistake, and why I had been so anti 'us' ever becoming more than friends who also happened to fuck around from time to time.

If I were to be absolutely honest with myself though, that wasn't what I wanted.

Not anymore.

Not now.

I didn't want him to move on. I wanted him to fight for us. I'd never admit that out loud though. If he was ready to turn his back, then I would have to be ready to walk away. All he had to do was say the words, and I would never look back, or question that we really could have had it all, if we'd only fought just a little bit harder for it.

"So then, are you," he started to say, but I quickly interrupted him, knowing he was going to ask if I would be staying or leaving the house for good.

"I'm taking a few days off. I already talked to Esme, and the show is being cool. They actually want to talk to you. I was suppose to tell someone to let you know. When I come back, they suggested I room with someone else. It's just a few more weeks. We can stay out of each others way till then," I took in another trembling breath and cleared my throat, "What I'm saying is, I can stay out of your way, if that's what you want. I think that's why they need to talk to you… to make sure you're okay with me staying. Since I attacked your _friend_ and all. They won't let me out of my contract, though, unless you demand I not be allowed back." I explained, keeping my stare set at his feet.

When he asked me if I in fact wanted to leave I almost lost it.

It took everything in me to hold back my tears, and maintain my otherwise blank expression.

Of course I didn't want to leave, but if it's what he wanted, then I would grant him that. There was no way I could tell him how the thought of never again seeing his face again… how that very thought made me question whether or not I'd be able to go on living. I couldn't burden him with that kind of sickening truth. Even if it was my own current reality. Edward didn't deserve to have that kind of responsibility weighing on his shoulders.

I'd dug my own grave and now I would have to lie in it. Figuratively, or literally… only time would tell.

I quickly decide to tell a half truth, "To be totally honest… I still don't know what I want. I just know that if you'd rather I not be here, then I won't force you to have to see my face. If that's still the case, If you still don't want me here, just tell me now and I'll get the rest of my stuff and be gone for ever."

He surprised me when he suddenly apologized for having my friends remove me from the house last night.

When he told me he didn't want me to go, I questioned his reasoning.

When he told me he had no business pressing the button to watch the video, I thought I'd entered an alternate universe.

His words forced me to hold my breath as I processed his every sentence.

Be strong, Swan. If he thinks you're in a vulnerable, fragile state, he might falter and tell you what he thinks any other girl would want to hear in this kind of situation. You are not any other girl. You don't want pity. Whatever he decides he wants, it needs to be on his terms. Not because he's afraid his choices might push you over the edge. It doesn't matter that you thought you loved him. It doesn't matter that he thought he loved you. The only thing that matters now is that you both make it through this with the ability to carry on as if all of those life changing memories… all those moment… as if they were nothing more than make believe, because in reality… did it ever really happen? Did you really fall in love? Were those feelings even legit? Why would you have let that even happen? Think about it. Why would you have allowed yourself to become so vulnerable, when you've always known how damaging it could be? Was it really love, or did you just lust and enjoy the attention from someone who'd never even known you existed two months ago? Someone you could start fresh with, and only share what you wanted to share about yourself, when you were ready to share, and on your own terms? Someone you thought you'd be able to walk away from when it was time to say goodbye and go back to your actual fucked up real life.

The pestering voice in the back of my head was enough to make me want to scream and rip my hair from my scalp.

I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to go back and erase every memory I had with him, and start over from the very beginning.

No… that was a lie. I didn't want that.

But why don't I want that?

What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I let things get to this point?!

"I-I can't talk to you about this right now. I need to go fix my head first. Everything's so fucked up… I need to figure it all out. Everything happens for a reason. I need to figure out why it all happened. Why I let it happen." I whispered looking away from him and up towards the ceiling. "You had every right to do and say what you did, and to react the way you did. I, I have to go now. I just can't do this with you. Not yet. Not right now." I quickly pushed myself away from the wall and turned to leave him standing there not wanting to say anything more than I already had. I'd made the mistake of looking down into his eyes for a brief second and it had almost caused me to crumble at his side. I had to get out of here before I said something I didn't mean, or would later regret.

I had to find my own answers, otherwise I knew… I knew if we put this behind us… if we somehow found a way to try again, we would only end up wondering when it might all repeat itself. It would become a vicious cycle of trust issues and unresolved insecurities. I didn't want that, and Edward certainly didn't deserve that.

* * *

**~~~Chapter 24 OUTTAKE~~~**

**Edward lets Tanya know exactly what he thinks about her 'boyfriend' and their relationship. **

**~Edward~**

We'd just gotten home from another day at work. Another day without Bella. Day two to be exact, since she'd left me standing at the top of the stairs. This would be my forth night sleeping alone without having her in my arms, and today was just as hard as the day before.

Whoever had told me it would get easier, they'd been lying through their goddamn teeth.

Everyone had been offering me their unsolicited advice, and words of wisdom. It always went in one ear and out the other though because nothing anyone could say or do… none of it mattered. It didn't change my reality, or the fact that I had sent the only person I'd ever fallen in love with away when she'd needed me to listen and understand her the most.

I should have known better than to jump to conclusions thinking Bella would have actually cheated on me. I never should have let that thought even enter my mind. Not for a second. Regardless of how much I'd had to drink that night. I should have fucking known better, and I should have given her a chance to explain.

A real chance.

All I'd done these last few days was sit by myself replaying the horrid scene over and over again, wishing I could go back and change everything about it. Every time I saw Tanya it was a fresh reminder though, and there was a part of me that hated her for that.

It didn't help being forced to see her come home with something new and shiny to show off every time she'd return from an outing with her dick of a boyfriend.

So help me, if I saw that prick anytime soon I knew I'd land my ass in jail. It was absolutely insane to me that Tanya had been able to get over Demetri's fucked up actions and carry on as if he were now the worlds greatest boyfriend. Bella was her friend. At least I'd believed they were friends, and he'd obviously betrayed Bella's trust. How Tanya could just forgive that and continue to fuck around with the sleaze ball… it pissed me off beyond belief.

"I ordered pizza for dinner Edward. It should be here in fifteen minutes." Alice informed me after sticking her head into the computer room. I forced a smile and nodded my head. "Anything?" she asked, glancing at the monitor in front of me.

"No. Not from her. Jake wrote me back and told me she's okay. That's all he said though." I answered as I ran my hand through my hair feeling anxious.

"Well, at least that's something."

I nodded my head after redirecting my eyes towards the computer screen then fell back into the chair with a loud huff, "Yeah. Something."

I didn't think Bella's friends would lie to me, but I also didn't think they would be one hundred percent forthright either. I knew better than to really believe she was 'okay', but I guess 'okay' for Bella could have meant that she was still breathing, and partially functioning.

After signing out of my email I tried to distract myself by checking out the latest information for the Dew Games. I could hardly believe that in a little over four weeks I'd be making my big comeback. If it hadn't been for Bella, I knew I never would have found the strength to throw my name into the comp. She'd changed my life in so many ways. She'd done so much to help me conquer everything that had prevented me from returning to the life I had once loved living, and now there was a chance I'd never get to thank her for that, or share all the moments I had dreamed of sharing with her.

I continued to click the links on the page, checking out the venue and other listed competitors till I heard Emmett shout that the pizza had arrived.

My eyes instantly set on Tanya giggling at the table as she flashed a gaudy looking bracelet in front of Rose's eyes. "It's Gucci! Isn't it gorgeous?!" she squealed smiling from ear to ear.

"It looks like a damn collar for a little yappy purse dog." I mumbled after taking a seat across from her. Rose snorted, and Alice threw her hand up to cover her smile.

For a very brief second Tanya looked hurt by my comment, but she quickly replaced her frown with a smirk and shrugged her shoulders, "Haters, gunna hate, Edward. I'm not going to apologize for being happily in love and spoiled."

"Oh, I'm sure that bracelet loves you too, Tanya." I snickered as I reached into the pizza box.

"Not the bracelet, jerk. Demetri. He had to go away for a few days on business. He got this for me so I'd have something to remind me of him while he's gone," she shared with a smirk.

"Oh that's nice. Smart guy. Buy the girl an expensive gift before heading out to sow your oats across the country between the legs of other unknowing, vulnerable, trusting, women. You know… after they sit down naked in front of his camera and he tells them over, and over again how gorgeous they are, and how they have the breasts of a goddess, and a face of an angel? I wonder what he'll bring you back? Maybe some flawless diamond earrings if he strikes gold and gets to bang one of his tattooed models and her pierced best friend simultaneously after their photo shoot?"

The room was dead silent. No one moved or dared to say a word.

"Shut your mouth! Just because your girlfriend threw herself at him before we were really together, it doesn't mean he's going to go out and f*ck around on me!" Tanya screamed after standing up to point her finger in my face from across the table.

I pushed her arm away and laughed. "Really? That's what he told you? You saw the way Bella acted after you showed me that video. You really believe she was the one who went after him? We watched the same footage right? It was his voice, right? The voice that prompted her for more fucking 'fun' with him? Pushing her for something she obviously didn't really want, since she's the one who stopped them! He was the one who taped it with his goddamn phone Tanya! He outright stood up for Bella when you verbally attacked her over it! Did you forget that entire scene? He was guilty as shit in that moment, but now he's convinced you that his hands were clean, and he was innocent? How naïve are you? Are you really that stupid?! He's a fucking prick, and you're an idiot for actually believing all his bullshit. I guaran-fucking-tee you he'll be fucking some other piece of tail in less than twenty-four hours!" I shouted as I walked around the table to stand in front of her.

"Edward. Chill." James insisted, suddenly stepping up to place his hand on my shoulder so I'd take a step back from Tanya.

She was silent but her face was darkest shade of red I had ever seen on another human being. "I'm leaving. I don't need to put up with this. You're an asshole Edward Cullen. God forbid you let anyone else be happy if you're not. If you want to blame someone for your girlfriends shady ass ways, fine. Blame me. Blame Dem! But I'm not going to stand here and listen to you belittle our relationship just because yours blew up in your face!"

"Oh you better believe I absolutely blame your asshole of a boyfriend! If I ever see his face again I'll be sure to share just how much I blame him! You're just the pawn though in his game. He'll use you and spit you out when he's done, just like the piece of trash you so obviously strive to be." Her hand shot out and slapped my face hard but I stood my ground. I didn't even blink.

"Okay. Seriously. Enough!" James shouted while Alice and Rose pulled Tanya back.

It felt good to get all of that out of my system… to verbally express everything I had been thinking over the last few days. It was insanely liberating and I knew, that Tanya knew… every word I'd just said, it was absolutely true.

Demetri was scum, dirt… and Tanya was nothing more than one of the many cockroaches that would pass through his vile, self-centered, conniving life.

* * *

**~~~~Outtake Chapter 26~~~~**

**More insight to what happened with Irina and Edward while Bella was away. **

**~Edward~**

The entire drive to the school I was freaking the fuck out. I'd felt great upstairs, and then the second I started to go into the kitchen the memory of last night at Irina's swiftly came flooding back to me. Of all days for Bella to return, and for us to finally talk things out. It had to come the day after I randomly gave in and let our co worker dry hump me on her couch for a few awkward minutes while I tried to forget about the girl who had stolen my heart and left me standing on the stairs with a broken hand.

If I'd only held out one more day I wouldn't be shitting myself over the guilt I was currently experiencing. I obviously had to tell her. I didn't want there to be anymore secrets. I was done dealing with that shit. Before Bella had left she'd told me what to do… what I should do… and in the moment, at Irina's, that's exactly what I had done.

Now I would learn if she'd really meant what she'd said, or if it had been a test that I'd slightly failed.

With Bella, there was no telling.

Thankfully when we went into the classroom Bree gave me the opportunity I needed to talk to Irina alone on the other side of the room while Bella and her mini-me caught up by the door.

"Hey." I muttered, making sure to look her directly in the eyes. I didn't want her to think I was embarrassed or afraid to look her in the face. If I avoided eye contact she would believe it was because I was feeling unsure about the situation. I knew exactly how I felt about the situation though.

Irina needed to know that everything I said next was the absolute truth and I wasn't here to play games.

"Hey yourself." she smirked with her head tilted to the side, "I see someone decided to come back."

"Yup. She did. Look, Irina. Last night. It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I let my guard down and I'm sorry if I made you think there could be anything more than friendship between us, but I love Bella. Her and I, were going to work things out, I'm committed to that. So it's best if we both just pretend last night never happened."

"Gotcha… so what you're saying is I should just forget all about how you made me feel when you kissed me and held me against your body? When you told me you thought I was beautiful and had the most perfect lips for kissing… that you'd wondered what it would be like to have me since the very first day you'd seen me… I should just pretend none of that was ever said."

"Irina,"

"No it's cool I get it. I was the rebound."

"Jesus. We made out for like five minutes before I ran for the damn door. Stop acting like I rocked your world with my cock. It was a mistake. End of story." I was in panic mode and no longer thinking before speaking. I didn't need anymore problems, and Irina was apparently hell bent on becoming a problem.

"Okay. I can see how that's all it would have been to you. I get it. Nothing happened. It must have been someone else underneath me last night."

Why did girls have to be so much god damn work. A guy is allowed to think a female is beautiful without suffering the consequences of a random hookup that was nothing more than a heavy make out session with the lights on. Jesus.

"Hey Irina." Bella had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I could tell by the look on her face, she was well aware that she had interrupted something.

"Hi Bella. Welcome back. I guess I'm no longer _needed_ here, since you've returned." our coworker replied, then turned her attention back towards me to give me a smile and obnoxiously squeeze my arm with her hand. I grimaced without saying anything in response and watched her leave the room after saying goodbye to the kids.

It instantly felt as if she had taken all the oxygen with her because when I tried to speak, nothing came out.

"Well. I guess you did what you had to do while I was gone." Bella spat out before the door had even shut behind Irina. I watched her forcefully turn on her heels to walk away from me with her arms crossed in front of her. And like that she was right back to putting a wall up. I couldn't let that happen though. I wouldn't let her believe that anything 'real' had gone on while she was gone. Even if she had told me to go out and forget all about her, I wouldn't let her believe I had actually followed her advice and actually succeeded.

"Bella,"

"We're at work, Edward. Like I said at the house, we will talk more later. There's obviously lots we still need to talk about. Can we please just focus on the kids for the next few hours?" she pleaded, with tears starting to appear in her guarded eyes. I let out a frustrated huff and crossed my own arms in front of me to keep myself from looking like a total pussy by tugging at my hair and stomping my feet.

She was really going to shut me out. It hadn't even been an hour and we were already back to square fucking one.

I was so annoyed with the entire situation because she had no right to be mad at me. Maybe I should have been more upfront about what I'd been up to during her absence, but I didn't owe her anything. Lord only knows what she herself had been up to.

The more time that passed though, and the longer I stood around stealing glances at her sad face and concurred looking posture… The less pissed I felt, and the more I wished she would only hear me out and let me explain.

I would be shocked if she told me she hadn't gone out and tried to fuck me from her memory with the help of one of her boys. I'd already mentally prepared myself for that revelation so the fact that she was pissed over the possibility that I might have done the same, with someone else, well it just didn't make sense to me.

Unless she hadn't done that.

Unless she'd actually spent the last few days dealing with bullshit like a normal human being for once.

Fuck.

* * *

**A/N: So those are all of the outtakes. Hope you enjoyed them! Again I wrote them to help me get a better feel for moments in the story, and to see things from another characters perspective or to get deeper into the moment. **

**Thanks again so much for reading. **

*****I will be writing one new fresh outtake, it will be from Bree's POV during the 4 months after the show wraps before the gang gets back together for the reunion show. You can expect it to go up sometime before July. This outtake was chosen by my reader Princess07890 who left IRL's 1,000th review. I'm pretty excited to get to work on it!*****

**XoX, PB **


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